Fully formed adult in LA & Dumfounded Dad in Illinois
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These Confessions come from: “Fully formed adult in LA” When I was 19 and played bass in a rock band, I fell in love with a guy I’ll call “Brian.” He was three years older and also a musician. We had the best times together — we were young and wild without a care in the world. But the years rolled on and we got older. After six years together, I got pregnant. I thought Brian would be thrilled, but he wasn’t. It changed how I felt about him. I was heartbroken and lost respect for him. I grew up fast, and put our son, “Ricky,” first. Brian, on the other hand, has refused to give up his rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. He shows up to see Ricky two or three times a month, but doesn’t even look at him. I can’t stand the way he ignores our son. Brian says I can’t alter who and how he is. I say, if we mattered to him, he would change on his own. This leads to arguments. Which is worse — having my son grow up with an absent father who’s not “present” even when he’s here? Or Ricky seeing us fight all the time, but leaving…