Rude Alchemy

Rude Alchemy

rudealchemy.com
Serial narrative PODCAST melding History, Mystery, Horror, and Comedy; bi-weekly aural remedy for cases of distemper, neurasthenia, and other cranial-malfeasances!


75 Christmas at Bainbridge: A Carver Academy Christmas Special OR The Christmas Bone!
Dec 26, 2019 • 35 min
The Yuletide is upon Bainbridge Academy, and that can mean only one thing for Master Carvy and Master Baz: A Murther Investigation!
74 LIVE Special: The Black Cat by E.A. Poe (Halloween)
Nov 3, 2019 • 41 min
Edgar Allen Poe had a lot of bad things happen to him - disease, addiction, election days… This is worse.
74 Chatter and Lore: Beastiary BS, RTW Trivia, & RSDMMH Guestiage
Sep 4, 2019 • 56 min
Resident Sound Designer Mr. Michael Hahn joins us for Beastiary talk/tales. Ryan almost kills Andrew with his game.
73 The Beastiary, Episode 3
Jul 31, 2019 • 28 min
The famed Beastiary is almost within our heroes’ fuzzy, feathery, leathery grasps! But some pages are best left un-turned.
72 The Beastiary, Episode 2
Jul 31, 2019 • 23 min
Inspired by the Tawny Owl’s words, our tamed trio sets out to plan their escape to the land of infinite mates!
71 The Beastiary, Episode 1
Jul 31, 2019 • 26 min
A lion, a tortoise, and a peacock begin to doubt their Zookeeper’s good-nature when their mates are abducted and singled out for ‘special attention.’
70 Chatter and Lore: Questions, Quotes, & Quips… (same ol’ quintessential qrap)
Feb 24, 2019 • 44 min
We beat the round robin out of the Carver Academy bush, Tom cracks our skulls with ‘Who Said That?’, and Andy pitches a feature!
69 (teehee) Carver Cranebottom: Academy! Episode 4
Jan 31, 2019 • 33 min
The long-awaited Cotillion is almost here! The perfect time for reconciliation…or revenge?! Find out in the finale!
68 Carver Cranebottom: Academy! Episode 3
Jan 31, 2019 • 29 min
A tryst, a tale, and a beTrayal. Also shit-death. (It’s not what you think…ok maybe it is I don’t know what you associate with the phrase ‘shit-death.’)
67 Carver Cranebottom: Academy! Episode 2
Jan 31, 2019 • 29 min
Was it murder? Carvy thinks so - but Headmaster Crustwedge has other ideas.
66 Carver Cranebottom: Academy! Episode 1
Jan 31, 2019 • 23 min
It’s a crisp autumn at Bainbridge Academy for Boys, and young Basil Basilton takes a strange and somber new student under his wing.
65 Chatter and Lore: Spellin’ Bees and Spinnin’ Yarns
Jul 31, 2018 • 31 min
Tom leads a BRAND NEW GAME! Andrew utters sweet evil story nothings.
64 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 7
Jun 17, 2018 • 33 min
Poe and Pa clash when the two opposing bands of spiritual warriors finally meet.
63 Chatter and Lore: Recollectin’ and Knife-Fightin’
Apr 29, 2018 • 33 min
We recall our embarrassing early correspondence and drop a new Mudd Rumpus track!
62 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 6
Apr 1, 2018 • 32 min
Poe and pals prep for patricide. Meanwhile, Pa and pals ponder their pecking order.
61 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 5
Feb 25, 2018 • 31 min
Poe goes to Hell and has a heartwarming reunion with the Prince of Darkness.
60 Chatter and Lore: The Worst One Ever
Jan 28, 2018 • 70 min
Even by our standards, this is a rough one. ENJOY!
59 (Christmas Special!) Carver Cranebottom and the Forgotten Shore
Dec 24, 2017 • 29 min
Murder! Mistletoe! Moorings! A merry maritime magniloquence crammed lovingly down your minced piehole.
58 LIVE Special: Classic Sherlock Holmes #4 (Christmas Holmes!)
Nov 30, 2017 • 65 min
We’re back at it again! Listen as we merrily mangle another classic old-time radio ‘Sherlock!’
57 The Jabez Flintwick Halloween Special!
Oct 29, 2017 • 34 min
Deep from the hellish bowels of the Rude Alchemy archives comes the cosmically horrifying tale of a post-Revolutionary Jabez Flintwick and his ultimate battle against the forces of evil.
56 Chatter and Lore: Buffoon Stories and Gibber-Jabber 2
Sep 24, 2017 • 46 min
“Buffoon” Chatter, “Buffoon” Lore, and buffoons playing a buffoonish game buffooningly.
55 The Buffoon, Episode 3
Aug 27, 2017 • 31 min
Bouffant Day arrives and it’s time for the final joke, but, who will be the butt?
54 Chatter and Lore: Buffoon Stories and Gibber-Jabber 1
Jul 29, 2017 • 52 min
Buffoonery, “Whoooooo Said That?!”, and Andy’s story “Frenches” your earholes!
53 The Buffoon, Episode 2
Jun 25, 2017 • 26 min
Henri leads the ensemble in a Bouffant Day rehearsal that takes a sinister turn.
52 The Buffoon, Episode 1
May 28, 2017 • 32 min
In Medieval France, a rogueish nobleman, Henri, is disgraced and banished by his brother, Le Duc. When he meets a gruesome band of fellow exiles in the forest, he learns of an opportunity to clown his way to vengeance - Bouffant Day!
51 LIVE Special: Classic Sherlock Holmes #3
Apr 30, 2017 • 55 min
Listen in horror as we mangle yet another classic Sherlock Holmes old-time radio script in this re-broadcast of our LIVE special from 4.25.17! (Also, stay tuned ‘til the end when we *almost* reveal the title of our next season!)
50 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 6
Mar 26, 2017 • 68 min
Listen as we put each other to the question, submit to Tom’s sick “weird history” mind game, and drink deep of the ear poison secreted by Andrew’s potent story-sack.
49 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 8
Feb 27, 2017 • 33 min
SEASON FINALE: The fate of Yugoslavia hangs in the balance as the true contents of the mysterious crate are revealed!
*Programming Update*
Feb 3, 2017 • 4 min
Just a quick check-in to tell you where we’ve been, where we’re headed, and to offer cheap, dirty promises.
48 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 5
Dec 24, 2016 • 71 min
Plug us into your earbones and listen as we talk Bruff, get weird, speak poems, and answer listener questions with our trademark grace and profundity.
47 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 7
Nov 27, 2016 • 27 min
Bruff and Fable tussle with Tangier and try to torture the truth out of the tight-lipped tall-man.
46 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 6
Oct 16, 2016 • 28 min
Fresh from the Atlantian disaster, Bruff learns he’s become an international scapegoat and must seek shelter from the guns of the FAA in the sky fortress of some pint-sized ne’er-do-wells.
*IMPROVED AUDIO* 45 Chatter and Lore: Poe Stories and Gibber-jabber 2
Sep 9, 2016 • 60 min
(This is a re-release to correct an audio oddity.) Join us as we ‘Poe’st-Mortem, play The Rudiverse Dating Game, listen to Andy’s Bonus ‘Poe’ Tale, and ANNOUNCE SEASON 7!
44 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 4
Jul 31, 2016 • 28 min
Poe comes face to face with his abductors, learns the truth about Gerald, and alters the fate of humanity.
43 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 3
Jun 19, 2016 • 27 min
While reeling from Raif’s betrayal, Poe and Gerald journey off to find the mysterious Ectoplasmytes.
42 Chatter and Lore: Poe Stories and Gibber-jabber 1
Jun 14, 2016 • 48 min
We chatter like school-children about Poe, play ‘Freestyle Writing,’ and listen dreamily as Andrew regales us with a Poe song!
41 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 2
May 22, 2016 • 23 min
After unlocking Harold’s spectral voice, Poe learns some dangerous information.
40 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 1
Apr 24, 2016 • 25 min
In America’s dustbowl, amateur inventor Poe Green looks for a way to communicate with the speech-less ghosts inhabiting his town.
39 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 4
Mar 6, 2016 • 43 min
We post-mortem “Carver” Chapter 2, play some ‘Who Said That?’, and listen to a bonus Carver story from Ryan! (Also, the next season’s title is announced!)
38 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 9
Feb 28, 2016 • 37 min
On a collision course with the demons of his mind, the demons of corruption, and… well… the freakin’ DEMON… Carver heads to London.
37 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 8
Feb 14, 2016 • 27 min
Carver and Basil unearth shocking familial secrets in the hidden tunnels of the Dunrook estate.
36 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 3
Feb 10, 2016 • 51 min
We chat about the return of Carver, play some Victorian Weird History, and listen to a bonus Carver story from Andy!
35 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 7
Jan 31, 2016 • 29 min
Carver and Basil delve into the Dunrook’s sinister family history while Carver fights to control his growing violent urges.
34 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 6
Jan 17, 2016 • 26 min
‘Carver Cranebottom’ Continues! With the country blighted by the ash and smoke of the unleashed demon, Carver and Basil return to the original scene of the crime.
33 The Carver Cranebottom Christmas Special!
Dec 21, 2015 • 67 min
Pull up a reindeer pelt and sweat next to the Narrator’s roaring fire as he spins a ‘Carver’ Christmas yarn fit to pop your chestnuts!
32 Chatter and Lore: Jabez Stories and Gibber-Jabber 2
Nov 29, 2015 • 43 min
Wrap up Jabez with a bonus tale from Andrew, play along with ‘What Would Daddy Tom Do?’ and listen ‘til the end to hear the title of our next season and a special announcement!
31 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 5
Nov 22, 2015 • 45 min
The Battle of Salem begins! Can Jabez mend the rifts between the ranks of men in time to stop Thorndike and his brood?
30 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 4
Nov 8, 2015 • 31 min
A letter from General Ward forces Jabez to change course. Meanwhile, dissention continues to fester.
29 Chatter and Lore: Jabez Stories and Gibber-Jabber 1
Oct 31, 2015
Fill your ears deep with Jabez talk, a new game, and raw, uncut Jabez lore from Ryan!
28 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 3
Oct 25, 2015
Jabez deals with challenges to his authority and reflects on his tumultuous childhood.
27 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 2
Oct 11, 2015 • 35 min
Jabez hangs around with Thorndike and learns of a much greater foe than the British!
26 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 1
Sep 27, 2015 • 38 min
Preparing for revolution, Captain Jabez Flintwick of the Continental Army seeks recruits in Salem, Massachusetts. Instead, he runs headfirst into the town’s dark history… and his own.
25 LIVE Special: Classic Sherlock Holmes #2
Sep 20, 2015
This LIVE broadcast was recorded on 9.17.15. Listen as we quasi-extemporaneously misinterpret a classic Sherlock Holmes radio play. (The audio quality is a little special at times, so listen at your own risk!)
24 Chatter and Lore: Plague Stories and Gibber-Jabber 2
Aug 29, 2015
We say farewell to The Plague Clowns, bicker through Weird History, and listen as Tom regales us with a Plague tale!
23 The Plague Clowns, Episode 5
Aug 24, 2015
After the violent chaos of the quarantine, the troupe must perform one final time… But what’s in store after the curtain falls?
22 The Plague Clowns, Episode 4
Aug 10, 2015
The quarantine descends into violence and the players are trapped into a confrontation with the past.
21 Chatter and Lore: Plague Stories and Gibber-Jabber 1
Aug 1, 2015 • 33 min
We talk Plague Clowns, hiss-laugh through bloopers, and unearth the bawdy poetry of Wolstan Poorgrave!
20 The Plague Clowns, Episode 3
Jul 26, 2015 • 37 min
The players face a bloodthirsty Pal Golian mob and struggle to reconnect with some long-lost troupe members.
19 The Plague Clowns, Episode 2
Jul 11, 2015 • 38 min
After staring death in the face, the Clowns must perform for the rowdy Pal Golians.. But what grim ovation awaits after the encore?
18 The Plague Clowns, Episode 1
Jun 28, 2015
Seeking the fortune promised by a mysterious contest, the remaining members of three disparate, travel-worn, Renaissance theatrical troupes must band together to perform for the Eastern European town of Pal Gol and its enigmatic Master of Revels.
17 LIVE Special: Classic Sherlock Holmes
Jun 21, 2015 • 36 min
This experimental LIVE broadcast was recorded on 6.18.15. We do injustice to a Sherlock Holmes Old Time Radio classic! (This event was in-part experimental, so the audio quality is a little special. Listen at your own risk!)
16 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 4
Jun 6, 2015
The Narrator joins us to face the ultimate humiliation of playing #NarratorSays! Plus, a bonus Bruff story from Tom!
15 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 5
May 31, 2015
The season finale. Bruff battles the Anarchists and the Sky Pirates in a frantic plea to rescue his brother and save the sinking Atlantian. (Cover Art for this episode provided by contest winner Oriana Carciente)
14 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 3
May 24, 2015
Watch out! It’s Tom’s Revenge when we play more Weird History; plus, a bonus Bruff story from Andrew!
13 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 4
May 17, 2015
Sky Pirates wreak havoc on the Atlantian, but an unlikely foe emerges to meet them in battle.
12 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 2
May 10, 2015
Mayhem ensues when we play Carver vs Bruff Death Match; plus, a bonus Bruff story from Ryan!
11 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 3
May 4, 2015
Bruff reaches higher heights of daring, explores his shared history with Whyff, and encounters a strangely familiar thief.
10 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 1
Apr 26, 2015
Dive deep into Bruff, play Weird History, and treat your ears to a bonus Bruff tale!
9 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 2
Apr 19, 2015
Bruff attempts to unload Whyff, tests his sky legs, and encounters new dangers aboard The Atlantian.
8 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 1
Apr 5, 2015
In old New York, Bruff Taxwynd, an ex-con sailor and part-time pugilist, confronts a long-lost relative, his own humiliating past, and the looming winds of the future.
7 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 2
Mar 15, 2015
Wrap up Season 1, hear more thrilling Carver tales, and find out the title of Season 2!
6 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 5
Mar 8, 2015
The conclusion, the truth, an awakening, and the beginning of the end of all we know.
5 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 4
Feb 23, 2015
Newly exonerated, Carver seeks out the mysterious woman who may be the link to the missing bones.
4 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 1
Feb 15, 2015
Meet the creators of Rude Alchemy and listen to them perform bonus Carver tales!
3 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 3
Feb 7, 2015
Fleeing the authorities, Carver takes refuge in a spooky old inn where a crusty crone spins stories of a haunting shared past.
2 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 2
Feb 7, 2015
Wrongfully imprisoned, Carver is cellmated with a homicidal basket-case, and must follow the madman’s instructions in order to escape.
1 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 1
Jan 26, 2015
In Victorian England, eccentric crypto-anthropolgist Carver Cranebottom is brought onto a murder-theft case involving some enormous missing bones.