Teenage Dirtbags

Teenage Dirtbags

73: “Butterfly” by Crazy Town

Apr 25 • 41 min

We are your sugarbuns, your butter….babies. Come for the trailer for Kiss the Girls 2: The Butterfly Collector. Watch this

72: Bald Shirtless Bass Players With Goatees

Apr 11 • 18 min

Brayton takes a look at the most common species of bassist, the prolific "Bald Bassist with Goatee." Videos discussed: "No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age "Chop Suey" by System of a Down "Dig" by Mudvayne

71: “Touchdown” by John Maus

Mar 28 • 45 min

Come for the aesthetic, stay to learn about the sport of football. Ahem

70: “Three Little Pigs” by Green Jelly

Mar 14 • 54 min

The dirtboys are back with, well, here we go. Watch this.

69: “Must be Santa” by Bob Dylan

Dec 14, 2017 • 35 min

That's right, it's time again for our annual tradition, our yearly ritual, our yuletide dipshittery. It's time, for Must Be Santa. Then a break to recharge our batteries! We'll be back in a month or so.

68: “Ms. Jackson” by OutKast

Nov 29, 2017 • 35 min

67: “Hook” by Blues Traveler

Nov 15, 2017 • 43 min

We took a lil break but The Hook Brought Us Back In a sort of anti Scatman John situation, a jackass frontman makes a decent song a bit worse rather than the other way around. 3 more episodes this season!

66: “Duke Lion” by Big Dumb Face (Minisode)

Nov 1, 2017 • 8 min

Here's the video! Gary hasn't seen this one, so watch at your own risk. We'll be back with a regular episode next time!

65: “Everybody Jam” by Scatman John

Oct 18, 2017 • 40 min

We end as we began: With the ghost of Louie Armstrong summoned from a brick wall. Watch this and see the Summer of Scat fade into the review mirror.

64: “Scatman’s World” by Scatman John

Oct 4, 2017 • 44 min

The Summer of Scat Continues! Brayton and Gary tcb with Scatman's World, a magical place at the intersection of dreams and life.

63: “Scatman” by Scatman John

Sep 20, 2017 • 41 min

There's enough misery in the world so we're pivoting away from the Summer of Glum/Summer Bummers series to THE SUMMER OF SCAT. Join us, for part 1.

62: “Gin and Juice” by Snoop Dogg

Sep 6, 2017 • 43 min

Summer Jam season continues, late into the summer, with this undeniable ear worm from the golden age of west coast gangsta rap. Dig it.

61: “Summer Girls” by LFO

Aug 24, 2017 • 43 min

Summer Jam Seasons begins with THE WORST SONG WE'VE DONE FOR THE SHOW. Check it out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHuGG_FsC20

60: “Slumlord Rising” by Neon Indian

Jul 17, 2017 • 38 min

(Extremely Warcraft 3 voice) The Slumlord…has awakened. BnG raises the rent on the slumlord in question. Check this Hotline Miami ass fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0wPHAau1ts

59: “Hearts on Fire” by Hammer Fall

Jul 12, 2017 • 40 min

Welp, there's a few different Hearts on Fire videos. This is the one we watched. It's time to get Skelecrazy and Cubist in this piece.

58: “California Love” by Tupac

Jun 28, 2017 • 38 min

Check out this all time classic, then party with the Dirtboys in Inglewood (Inglewood, Illinois).

57: “Girigiri Surf Rider” by HALCALI

Jun 14, 2017 • 42 min

More "Daily Motion Sickness" with HALCALI and Girigiri Surf Rider. Scope this catchy number. Gang violence AND a new Pokemon tournament? Happy happy birthday to me! (it's not actually my birthday).

56: “Hunger Strike” by Temple of the Dog

May 31, 2017 • 40 min

It's a TEENAGE DIRTBAGS SPECIAL REPORT! Time to end our contract with Christian Slater. We don't mind stealing bread, and hopefully you don't mind listening to this episode. And a bonus 8-bit version

55: “Let’s Go to Bed” by the Cure

May 17, 2017 • 49 min

Let's Go to, sigh, Daily Motion for some bouncy weirdos, courtesy of Liam McCann! Let's get literal!

54: “I Would Do Anything for Love” by Meat Loaf

May 2, 2017 • 47 min

Listen, there are just some things we won't do. I wouldn't top deck an airplane bathroom, for example. But Meatloaf is different. Watch this

53: “I Did It” by the Dave Matthews Band

Apr 19, 2017 • 53 min

Well, somebody fucking did it. Yes. Me did it. This special, special song brought to you by Kole Ross, and features special guest special Kole guest Ross.

52: Nobody Speak by DJ Shadow feat Run the Jewels

Apr 5, 2017 • 37 min

Picture this. Brayton and Gary will fall off in your grill, and then take a shit, with our 2nd Duckstream donation request. Yes, we are guilty motherfuckers, we are death.

51: “One Headlight (Heroes Remix)” by the Wallflowers

Mar 22, 2017 • 46 min

It's Office Livin' with the Dylan boys! Brayton and Gary talk some smack about the Godzilla, but never Godzooki. Thanks Will! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm_zXG72pdk

50: Coolest Pokémon Tournament Finale

Mar 8, 2017 • 49 min

It's finally time to reveal….the coolest pokemon. Can you handle the controversy?

49: Turn Down For What

Feb 22, 2017 • 44 min

Well, this is something. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMUDVMiITOU Listen and Brayton and Gary enumerate all the reasons one might wish to turn down.

48: “Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden

Feb 8, 2017 • 38 min

Why don't Teenage Dirtbags come and wash away the rain? Because we're busy watching this artifact: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mbBbFH9fAg

47: “Must Be Santa” by Bob Dylan / “Spies Like Us” by Paul McCartney

Dec 14, 2016 • 51 min

Hey, Love it or Hate it, it's Mr. Robert Dyl-Dyl and a certain red buddy (the roust-a-bout). And because we love you and hate ourselves, we decided to get into the holiday spirit with this disaster and a halfster.

46: “Rapture” by Blondie

Nov 30, 2016 • 44 min

And here we are, Brayton and Gary, talking about a Blondie classic. How'd we miss this back in the 80s!?

45: “What is Love?” by Haddaway

Nov 16, 2016 • 40 min

It's my way or the Haddaway on this episode of Teenage Dirtbags!

44: “Roll to Me” by Del Amitri

Nov 2, 2016 • 44 min

We capture a White Whale with Del Amitri's tale of singing babies, coquettish mom's and vague teleportation.

43: “Right Now” by Van Halen

Oct 19, 2016 • 49 min

Don't put it off another day, watch this video. It's blandly aspirational!

42: “Ready for the Floor” by Hot Chip

Oct 5, 2016 • 45 min

We're shaking off our glummies by returning to a mutual favorite. Enjoy this darke jyrney into the world of tech experts.

41: “November Rain” by Guns ‘n’ Roses

Sep 21, 2016 • 47 min

Here it is, folks, the finale of the Summer of Glum. Let's wash this taste from our mouth with a big slice of wedding cake.

40: “Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M.

Sep 7, 2016 • 42 min

When the day is long, make sure you watch this video. It's the penultimate entry in the Year of the Sadpole, The Summer of Glum!

39: “What’s This Life For” by Creed

Aug 24, 2016 • 47 min

(extremely Creed voice) ♪ What's a Dickfor??? ♪ It's the year of the sadpole, the summer of glum and it continues with this terrible fucking song. Ahem.

38: “Tha Crossroads” by Bone Thugs-n-Harmony

Aug 10, 2016 • 42 min

Do you miss Uncle Charles? I do. Sometimes. It's time for the Summer of Glum! Let's get real sad!

37: “Bicycle Safety Camp”

Jul 27, 2016 • 59 min

What's more Summery than a nice bike ride? But you gotta ride safe, we're begging you please.

36: “Thong Song” by Sisqo

Jul 13, 2016 • 42 min

Watch this video, what, what. Summer Jams Season continues with Sisqo's magnum opus, the Thong Song. The Dirtlads talk about all that and more, including an update on our famous segment The Pokemon Go Report.

35: “Smooth” by Santana ft. Rob Thomas

Jun 29, 2016 • 50 min

It's a hot one indeed. Get down to this Summer Jam all you Spanish Harlem Mona Lisas. It's time for a street party and you are invited.

34: “Barbie Girl” by Aqua

Jun 15, 2016 • 40 min

Come on Dirtbags let's eat skirt rags. Oh oh oh oh. Come on Dirtbags, watch this video. (Oh, owa, Oh, owa).

33: “You Get What You Give” by The New Radicals

Jun 1, 2016 • 41 min

Fuck these guys. Watch this horseshit.

32: POKEMON TOURNAMENT FINALE PART 2!!!!

May 18, 2016 • 54 min

It's finally here. The Pokemon tournament finale. You've been waiting. We've been waiting. Who will win the crown? FIND OUT HERE AND NOW.

31: POKEMON TOURNAMENT FINALE PART 1!!!!!!

May 4, 2016 • 34 min

It's finally here. You've waited. We've waited. It's time for the finale of the WHICH POKEMON IS CUTEST TOURNAMENT! No more fucking around.

30: “A Freak Like Me Needs Company” from Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark

Apr 20, 2016 • 45 min

If you do one thing in life, make it watching this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RgR0-EWuNY Brayton and Gary get their freak on, their Bakugon on and their Pokemon on. Would somebody please, please turn on the dark?

29: “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi

Apr 6, 2016 • 50 min

Brayton and Gary talk about vape tubes and Manchurian Candidates in this episode about "It's My Life." Which you should 100% watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx2u5uUu3DE

28: “Blackstar” and “Lazarus” by David Bowie

Mar 23, 2016 • 56 min

Brayton and Gary are joined by Kole Ross for our first crossover. In this TDB/BSC mashup, we tackle the Bloodborne-as-fuck videos for Black Star and Lazarus. R.I.P. Mr. Bowie.

27: “The Scenario” by A Tribe Called Quest

Mar 9, 2016 • 39 min

Sega CD aesthetics. Listen to Gary not know anything about rap while Brayton knows about rap.

26: “Never Let You Go” by Third Eye Blind

Feb 24, 2016 • 40 min

You liked our season/ well just have another/ if you told mom no/ you'll break a promise to your mother. Here we are, Season As Well! (Pitch is coming in a few weeks, promise!)

25: “Must Be Santa” and “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas” by Top Billin’ and The Turtles

Dec 23, 2015 • 65 min

These terrible Jokers laugh and sing and do their thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjit0hlj04s Merry Christmas everyone, or whatever holiday (or not) you celebrate. The Dirtboys love and cherish you.

24: “Tripping on a Hole in a Paper Heart” Our Stone Temple Pilots special

Dec 9, 2015 • 53 min

After a Duckstream related hiatus (video to come soon), Brayton and Gary are back with a special report. That's right, we finally get our Stone Temple Pilots License by saying literally everything we know about STP. [Here's the first video we talk…

23: “Two Princes” by The Spin Doctors

Nov 11, 2015 • 42 min

The Haunted Harlequinn, Comptroller of Fates command you [watch…][1] I mean, just look at this guy. Look at him. LOOK AT HIM. [1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsdy_rct6uo

22: “Anything Can Happen on Halloween” from Worst Witch

Oct 28, 2015 • 63 min

This is my favorite video we've done for the show. Please watch it, please. It's [here.][1] It's better than a vid-e-o. Look for the new album from Pitch Industries "Anything Can Happen on Holidays" in 2016. [1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUhuPn8_d0Q

21: “Black or White” by Michael Jackson

Oct 14, 2015 • 41 min

Okay, first watch this video. Then look around you, because odds are good that Michael Jackson's world-warping chroma-dance has placed him in your room… even beyond the grave! How many Michael Jacksons can dance on the Hagia Sophia? As many as can dance…

20: “Freak on a Leash” by Korn

Sep 30, 2015 • 44 min

You like Korn, don't you? Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it. What a fascinating experience this video is. High highs featuring ammomancy and edgey MacFarland art, then low lows featuring a grunt solo that I can't actually listen to.

19: “Waterfalls” by TLC

Sep 16, 2015 • 45 min

Hey, check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WEtxJ4-sh4 We love story rich vidoes at TDB and boy do we have some doozies this batch, starting with this social consciousness number. Other than the inexplicable slut shaming, it's mostly stuff we…

18: “Getting Jiggy Wit’ It” by Will Smith

Sep 2, 2015 • 35 min

Everybody do the Funky Brayton! [This video][1] goes round the world to three places. Will Smith is a national treasure, probably. [1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JcmQONgXJM

17: “Shake Hands With Beef” by Primus

Aug 19, 2015 • 29 min

Why not shake hands with this Primus video in a herky jerky fashion?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHjpWo4edfw I bet this won't be our last video that takes place at a disgusting family meal.

16: “The Breakdown” by Tantric

Aug 5, 2015 • 42 min

The dirtboys tackled these assholes. Viking drummers, gravel voiced shits, frizzy haired weirdos. It's all there. Also, this son is about Anne Frank: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxRG7uoFDo4

15: “Loverboy” by Billy Ocean

Jul 22, 2015 • 37 min

What makes a hero? Whatever it is, Billy Ocean has OCEANS of it and this video shows that he's willing to use those powers for good or at least neutral/fine. Do you like Teenage Dirtbags? Not enough people listen to it! Tell other people about it!

14: “Everything You Want” by Vertical Horizon

Jul 8, 2015 • 43 min

This is a student film classic. What is up with that shirt? Enjoy this take on the most meaningful meaningless shit video.

13: “Send Me On My Way” by Rusted Root

Jun 24, 2015 • 43 min

Introducing new hot segments and hot new takes on spirituality, it's The Teenage Dirtbaggers on Rusted Root's opus.

12: “How Can the Labouring Man Find Time For Self Culture?” by Martini Ranch

Jun 10, 2015 • 35 min

WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK. Watch this shameless nonsense. It's homage time with Bill Paxton. This catchy Devo ripoff is a stock footage fuckfest.

11: “I Feel Better” by Hot Chip

May 27, 2015 • 28 min

This is both a good song and a good video. What are we even doing here? For the love of Popeye, watch this. One of Brayton's all time favorite videos, this video is great, the song is good and it's definitely not 90s. But man, oh man, is it special.…

10: “When Worlds Collide” by Powerman 5000

May 13, 2015 • 36 min

You should treat yourself to this nonsense. Then listen to us talk about it! Sorry if you downloaded an earlier version that had some misaligned audio. Forgive us because this is truly what it's like when worlds collide.

9: “My Own Worst Enemy” by Lit

Apr 29, 2015 • 33 min

It's hard to recommend but please watch this abomination. In this episode, the dirtboys tackle Lit's classic(?) trash song My Own Worst Enemy.

8: “Dangerous” by Busta Rhymes

Apr 15, 2015 • 37 min

Did you know that Brayton and I are dangerous? We're so dangerous? Also, the whole Duckfeed Unit is dangerous.

7: “Blue” by Eiffel 65

Apr 1, 2015 • 45 min

There were once a blue man who lived inside a blue house inside a (mostly) blue state. His name is Evan Thorne and he's joining the dirt boys to talk about this bonkers nonsense. Please, watch this video.

6: “Original Wrapper” by Lou Reed

Mar 18, 2015 • 30 min

Less than ten thousand people have watched this video. Join them. It's another patented Teenage Dirtbags FLASHBACK with Lou Reed and The Original Wrapper. A song that you guys don't know exist and will bum you out/blow your mind.

5: “Shine” by Collective Soul

Mar 4, 2015 • 29 min

Bow dowwa dun dun duh dowa dow WATCH. Bow dowwa dun dun duh dowa dow Brayton. And Bow dowwa dun dun duh dowa dow Gary examine Bow dowwa dun dun duh dowa dow Shine by Bow dowwa dun dun duh dowa dow Collective Soul.

4: “Cumbersome” by Seven Mary Three

Feb 18, 2015 • 30 min

Brayton and Gary introduce some new segments and play one of our favorite games in this examination of the boys in the bar, Seven Mary Three.

3: “Inside Out” by Eve 6

Feb 4, 2015 • 29 min

As always, please watch the video. And after you've watched it, please burn burn like a wicker cabinet with your friends Brayton and Gary! More segments, more nonsense, more symbolism.

2: “Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheatus

Jan 21, 2015 • 37 min

Your boyfriend brings a gun to school? What a dick! I literally can't think of a stronger word to describe him! As always, watch the video before the show.

1: Christmas Special: Must Be Santa

Dec 25, 2014 • 25 min

Suit that's white/special night? You know what that means. It's time for the annual Teenage Dirtbags Christmas Special! Join us like you do every year to celebrate Yule the only way we know how.