Seven Minutes To Bedtime

Seven Minutes To Bedtime
That inexact time just before lights out where some of the most interesting conversations happen…

Weekly Recap 2/12
Feb 12, 2016 • 8 min
I try to lead by example, even when I don’t make the right decision. This week I made the mistake of prejudging a guy, and we use it as a teachable moment. Then we talked about school schedules, and I tried to get Syd to try out for the girls wrestling…
He’s our friend, he’s ok with it.
Feb 11, 2016 • 9 min
Improv, nicknames and a new scheduler.
You don’t embarrass me.
Feb 10, 2016 • 6 min
Dad’s on field trips, shaming parents, and showing people how good your relationship is.
I suppose that’s a good idea because you don’t want to look like a jackass.
Feb 9, 2016 • 7 min
Using your intellect, how many squares, and stupid people.
Why would you want your head to look like a stop sign?
Feb 8, 2016 • 6 min
Breakfast options, leftovers, poofy hair and big heads.
Lifelong curiosity
Feb 6, 2016 • 10 min
The Sixth Sense, spoilers, sharing a bed and mom’s math skills.
I don’t need you here anymore, go back to work.
Feb 4, 2016 • 6 min
Sharing blankets, dead batteries, AAA and a changed schedule.
You got a lettermans jacket.
Feb 3, 2016 • 9 min
Working out, sociology vs.psychology, and women’s sports.
So it’s like boom, chink, clunk.
Feb 2, 2016 • 10 min
Helicopter parenting, teachable moments, and who’s coming home.
And she’s not afraid to get dirty.
Feb 1, 2016 • 6 min
Grey’s Anatomy spoilers, Shonda Rhimes, and starting the new semester well.
You just used 30 words that I don’t know in one sentence
Jan 31, 2016 • 4 min
The best part, Dad questions and Con demographics.
Weekly recap 1/28
Jan 28, 2016 • 9 min
Time and what we do with that time is what matters…This week we made a date to see Star Wars (in 2017), relive stories of Sydney’s youth, and discover something spooky about Mom…
Everything is a lie
Jan 27, 2016 • 10 min
Lying to our kids, growing pains, bullying follow up and smoothies.
One should be enough
Jan 26, 2016 • 8 min
Assault, standing up for yourself and what is not said
I lied a lot to you growing up.
Jan 25, 2016 • 14 min
Appendix location, parental lies, breakfast and talking crap about about improv.
You do not have a specific taste palate.
Jan 24, 2016 • 6 min
Sharpies, final exams, improv technique, and breakfast.
Second week in a row, mommy knows the killer on 48 hours.
Jan 23, 2016 • 12 min
Yawns, 48 hours, aching bones, finals and remote controlled bb-8.
I love you, but you puked a lot on me when you were younger.
Jan 22, 2016 • 4 min
Oreos and rice for dinner, getting sick, double speak and spreading germs.
Sometimes things are just too much to handle.
Jan 21, 2016 • 13 min
Pants on the stairs, falling asleep anywhere, improv games and stress.
When we go to see Star Wars next, you’ll drive.
Jan 20, 2016 • 12 min
Star Wars, catholic church, praying for cooks, bad driving and a dash cam.
Ok, don’t do that, first of all.
Jan 19, 2016 • 7 min
Parking location, sleeping on your back, R-rated movies and vandalism.
Bedtime is Bedtime, don’t get out of bed.
Jan 18, 2016 • 8 min
Finding a blanket, making fins, backup plans, weird shadows and wearing makeup to bed.
It’s entirely possible that your mother dreamed that.
Jan 17, 2016 • 8 min
Helicopters breaking up parties, a bunch of giggling and a reprimand to be quiet.
It’s the SAME song.
Jan 14, 2016 • 8 min
French movie soundtracks, bright red kids, pajama stuck, perfect scores and teachers who don’t call back.
Weekly Recap 1/14
Jan 14, 2016 • 7 min
From milk spills and memes to weird dreams about time, understanding soccer to yet another teachable moment, we really had an interesting week…Now, can we hurry this thing up? I gotta pee…
I could totally see that.
Jan 13, 2016 • 14 min
Dad is dragging up for the Con, cross dressing, soccer, Sydney’s sports knowledge, and eating hockey pucks.
You see what I did there?
Jan 12, 2016 • 6 min
Riveting talk, Dads and Daughters, step parent rules, pagoda aggressiveness and stiff necks.
I was glued to the screen the entire time.
Jan 11, 2016 • 9 min
No spoilers, Star Wars, prequels, and changes made with cgi.
So, let’s go back…What’s a piranha gun?
Jan 10, 2016 • 10 min
Reflective versus absorbent surfaces, dungeons and dragons type games, and Cosplay pictures.
Lets make this quick, I have to pee.
Jan 9, 2016 • 5 min
Frozen to the core, watching spills happen and trading cats.
You’re not the only one entitled to crazy dreams.
Jan 8, 2016 • 13 min
Long names, waking up early, weird dreams and the birth of Jesus.
Maybe he just needs a little encouragement.
Jan 7, 2016 • 10 min
Thunder and lightning, Good Brian, and positive feedback.
Weekly Recap 1/7
Jan 7, 2016 • 14 min
This week, with putting up an almost complete single night’s episode. Earlier in the evening I made a joke about Sydney being very talkative. I said the reason was because she got so much sleep the night before. That set her off for the rest of the eve…
Are you still mad?
Jan 6, 2016 • 20 min
Interrupting, apologies, and understanding and beating up high school kids.
It’s just not as impressive to me as a mime juggling.
Jan 4, 2016 • 11 min
Superficial compliments, finals schedule, soccer and Dad’s schedule.
That’s not true. We took it to e-recycling.
Jan 3, 2016 • 3 min
Tired, afraid of the dark, magical covers and alarm clocks.
You dropped me on my head so many times.
Jan 2, 2016 • 7 min
Hormonal imbalance, haircut plans, ugly shaped heads and quality wigs.
I like doodles, doodles are the journey.
Jan 1, 2016 • 4 min
Sketchbook drawings, remembering new years, and gunshot knowledge.
When do we ever look at a clock?
Dec 30, 2015 • 12 min
Jennifer Lawrence, meeting people at the movies, sneaking in snacks and fake new years countdowns.
How interesting this must be.
Dec 28, 2015 • 6 min
Beetle facts, dyed hair, colored skin and a lesson on Google maps.
I think you think it’s a preference because for a long time it’s been a necessity.
Dec 27, 2015 • 7 min
Syd’s newly renovated room, room for Sayble, vanity mirrors and keeping it clean.
I don’t know if I believe that either.
Dec 26, 2015 • 2 min
Bedtime, days off Parks and Recreation and Chris Pratt.
Do you have a favorite gift?
Dec 25, 2015 • 10 min
Christmas recap, makeup cabootle organization, napping and Cosplay.
Santa’s going to be pretty teed off that we didn’t leave him cookies.
Dec 24, 2015 • 8 min
Christmas stockings, forgetting to leave snacks, what Sally got, and a holiday without m&m’s.
Aren’t we all out of order?
Dec 22, 2015 • 10 min
Battery life, Sayble’s grades, teachers who quit, being sick and prime rib.
This is not a free licence for you to go back into bad habits.
Dec 21, 2015 • 12 min
Kody lost a charger, Sydney gets a phone, Dad sets standards and wig styling.
I don’t see any lice, but I do see three 6’s.
Dec 19, 2015 • 6 min
Getting a tattoo, the mark of Satan and the anticipation of a new mattress.
You’re like a puppet master, you just close a tab.
Dec 18, 2015 • 7 min
Spoiled children, living on her own, taking what’s offered and being prepared.
Weekly Recap 12/17
Dec 17, 2015 • 9 min
I try to teach my kids to stand up for those who can’t. This week is a perfect example of when we do that. Even though Syd isn’t offended by the behavior of one of her classmates I think it’s the kind of behavior that needs to be redirected. And then I…
‘Cause you sleep in a big pile of crap.
Dec 17, 2015 • 8 min
Mattresses, giving kids sedatives, kidneys on the black market and going to bed early.
Aaaah, dumb. Stupid, stupid,stupid, stupid, stupid…line.
Dec 16, 2015 • 12 min
Moted, faced, belief in Santa, bullies in elemrntary school, and messing up in front of an audience.
Peeple don’t understand Halloween.
Dec 15, 2015 • 13 min
Monologue changes, Star Wars, costume choice and all the hair colors.
Are you certain that you’re hearing those all in context?
Dec 14, 2015 • 12 min
Mattress info, comic book ads, hammocking, and Caitlin Jenner.
What the world expects from you.
Dec 13, 2015 • 6 min
Podcast feedback, stereotypes of 14 year old girls, hair color and Dad’s hairstyle.
You seemed cool, you had cool hair.
Dec 11, 2015 • 15 min
An awesome day, homophobic kids in math class, a teacher who can’t keep it together, and gym class.
Silence is uncomfortable.
Dec 10, 2015 • 19 min
Cool guys in the bank, trees that look like poop emojis, the scare, and monologues.
It’s not my room if I don’t enjoy it.
Dec 9, 2015 • 11 min
Christmas gift lists, the 1st time Syd dyed her hair, clay and a room renovation.
I’ll give you hair dye if you come to work with me.
Dec 8, 2015 • 11 min
Cool dental hygienists, bribes, Popeye, hair dye, pranks and kidnapping.
Yeah, that’s a good guess.
Dec 7, 2015 • 14 min
Crazy customers, preparing to have teeth pulled, running, and an essay revision.
Somebody ends up with a black eye.
Dec 6, 2015 • 13 min
A sock wallet, the Presidential address, gun control and bad breath.
Yep, that’s a Shakespearean lift.
Dec 3, 2015 • 7 min
A play, a wedding, a fight and a prayer.
Weekly recap 12/03
Dec 3, 2015 • 8 min
It was a holiday week, so things were pretty light. Camp pictures need to be developed, I got schooled on what the front door looks like when it’s locked and I ponder that because I’m older now I might have to lose a bit of knowledge in order to for th…
I have to do the math.
Dec 2, 2015 • 13 min
Butterfingers, San Bernardino shooting, probability of things happening and Go Kendra…
I expect to have grandkids by the time I’m sixty four.
Dec 1, 2015 • 8 min
Smoke alarm battery, giving up the podcast, hello to our future kids, and internet problems that last forever.
It needs to be recorded, I need to see this.
Nov 30, 2015 • 10 min
Being daddy’s girl, teachers missing school, Steve, and a mini play that incorporates everything.
So don’t repeat that at school yet.
Nov 29, 2015 • 10 min
Cold bed, really expensive sleeping bags, a real life “Up” and fact checking
We have a really odd family dynamic.
Nov 26, 2015 • 16 min
Knotts Berry Farm, Podcast feedback, three things to be thankful for, and blended families.
Ho, ho, ho…Baby with the weird shaped head.
Nov 25, 2015 • 9 min
High pillows, who’s home on thanksgiving, the age of everyone, and Dad’s doppelganger.
He would feed me a handful of facts.
Nov 23, 2015 • 7 min
Pulled teeth, friends who help us fit in and what to get done.
Hopefully that doesn’t mean I’ll forget one of my three kids names.
Nov 22, 2015 • 11 min
Outdoors look when they’re locked, memory loss, camp photos, evangelical Christians, socialism and abortion.
So grandma P is the grandmother from Caillou?
Nov 21, 2015 • 6 min
Painting, things we remember, being a giant and cat sounds.
They were responsible for my hour and a half commute, One Direction was.
Nov 19, 2015 • 12 min
Crazy dreams, Chicken wrapped in Parma ham, and One Direction.
Weekly Recap 11/20
Nov 19, 2015 • 7 min
We think we have problems. From getting teeth pulled to making beds in the morning and how much sleep that takes away…It’s easy to forget that life is precious. Appreciate the little simplicities and try to understand how people cope with actual prob…
No, like I’m gonna puke.
Nov 18, 2015 • 10 min
Bad teeth, Starbucks and Jamba Juice, Dad vertigo, and theme parks.
I would be a fantastic criminal.
Nov 17, 2015 • 15 min
Trying to catch Syd being bad, teachers pet, bad kids and criminals.
Not all of it is important, but all of it is really, really disgusting.
Nov 15, 2015 • 11 min
Bad phones, Kassidy forgets his keys, coming to Mommy’s aid squeezing something, and wigs in school.
The truth is, God works through people.
Nov 14, 2015 • 17 min
Young people at a concert, bad things happen quickly, prayer and racism.
That’s actually my name, don’t actually rob me.
Nov 13, 2015 • 6 min
Dog treats, tableside magic, dollar tree playing cards, and favorite Cosplay.
Making your bed is a ritualistic piece.
Nov 12, 2015 • 7 min
Layers of clothing, habits, water colors and 10,000 hours.
Weekly Recap 11/12
Nov 12, 2015 • 7 min
I always think “teachable moments” are everywhere. This week found us discussing English grammar, cannibalism, where the meat is on humans and how to convert Fahrenheit into Celsius. So many lessons to learn…
A firm chunk of cat.
Nov 11, 2015 • 9 min
Bed Warmers, insulated houses, cats fur, smudged glasses and a conclusion.
Look, your the predator now.
Nov 10, 2015 • 8 min
Likes, hanging out in Michaels, long walks pulled teeth and weird comics.
There’s a special kind of magic that happens.
Nov 9, 2015 • 7 min
Cleaning trash in the room, bad eyesight, tattoos, monologues, and theater.
That’s a wonderful thought to put me to bed with
Nov 8, 2015 • 11 min
Space aliens, ufos, conspiracy theories and the complete annihilation of our planet.
We’re already talking about the death of a fish we haven’t even bought yet.
Nov 7, 2015 • 10 min
Teaching cleaning, the weight of pigs, and goldfish.
I’m my own Barbie head.
Nov 6, 2015 • 8 min
Compliance, Christmas, cash money, and makeup.
I bet there’s a dirty sock in your bed right now.
Nov 5, 2015 • 14 min
Dad’s toothbrush, germs, crazy statements made by presidential candidates, who made the pyramids, and the dark web.
Weekly Recap 11/05
Nov 5, 2015 • 6 min
This week our discussions included whether wishes came true, (they didn’t) does Winnie the Pooh have a theme song, (he does) and who says only boys can talk about disgusting stuff with their dad? (Girls do too.)
Because its true. True statistics.
Nov 4, 2015 • 6 min
Cold weather, skiing, swimming and the CMA’s.
I’m gonna Google it in the morning.
Nov 3, 2015 • 9 min
Crispy M&M’s, converting Celsius to Fahrenheit, climate as social science and experiencing real life.
I would never be able to eat someone
Nov 3, 2015 • 11 min
Linguistics, school, frostbite and cannibalism.
It’s like a salmon smoothie.
Nov 1, 2015 • 9 min
Food borne illness, sharing a bathroom, being good at throwing up, and threatening teachers.
Please give us the pizza!
Oct 31, 2015 • 9 min
Playful pizza guys, knee tumors and Criminal Minds.
Weekly recap 10/29
Oct 29, 2015 • 8 min
Since it’s Halloween this week we figured we’d touch on a couple of Halloween issues. The big asteroid that’s potentially going to hit our planet and the myth of the “rich” houses giving away full size candy bars. Syd needs new glasses and we talked ab…
You can’t just walk in and be like, “Hey put me in the haunted house.”
Oct 28, 2015 • 6 min
Participating in the haunted house, Winnie the Pooh theme song, $3 swimming caps, remembering the prayer, and what’s that word again?
You’re growing up in an era where there is tons of technology that allows you to do that.
Oct 27, 2015 • 9 min
Wishing wells, hot glue guns, fabrication of cosplay glasses, late work and setting alarms.
Oh my gosh, it’s just the water guy.
Oct 26, 2015 • 11 min
It’s you, band tshirts, missed school work consequences, and drama class serial.
You could make any story sounds boring
Oct 25, 2015 • 8 min
Wired at bedtime, baby hairs, gross faces, Sally and Dad’s voice.
Like, entry level gang members, like, seventh graders…I could probably take them.
Oct 23, 2015 • 12 min
Joining a gym, monitoring security cameras, Dad Abs, and knee tumors.
You had me at hello.
Oct 22, 2015 • 7 min
Nickels, grass, the new peace sign, a”salt” rifles and klump.
Weekly Recap 10/22
Oct 22, 2015 • 7 min
This week was all about farce. From creepy dolls under the bed to poorly decorating Christmas trees, and chatting about El Nino, we had a really fun time. Syd put it best towards the end when she mentioned that by us pointing out all of the wrong thing…
You have to say a prayer because I have to Qtip my ears.
Oct 21, 2015 • 10 min
New glasses, going to the eye doctor alone, the last child, and cool frames.
Kit Kat. Kit Kat.
Oct 20, 2015 • 15 min
Giant asteroids, rich neighborhoods on Halloween, painting and the Maines twins.
Saying stupid things just to get attention.
Oct 18, 2015 • 14 min
I spy, priorities, star testing, presidential candidates and The Donald.
Cause that’s the noise we use for everything.
Oct 17, 2015 • 8 min
Ghost stories, hurt knees, knee noises and athletes foot.
Weekly Recap 10/15
Oct 15, 2015 • 7 min
Syd is a great kid, and sometimes I forget to parent her properly. She not doing well in school all of a sudden and we talked about it. Not my proudest moment as a parent. I chose the wrong time and place, and didn’t choose my words very carefully…I …
I think I’ve seen lightning, like, once.
Oct 14, 2015 • 11 min
Cough buttons, sneezing in concert, psat recap, swimming, and storms.
Maybe we can actually get some grass back
Oct 13, 2015 • 8 min
Heatwaves, el Nino, California weather and listener emails.
Do you want to talk about the elephant in the room?
Oct 12, 2015 • 14 min
Failing grades, priorities and how to succeed.
8 gigabytes is a lot of gigabytes.
Oct 11, 2015 • 10 min
Creepy dolls, decorating a Christmas tree, family holidays, old friends and data.
You want to turn into a father daughter vigilante thing?
Oct 10, 2015 • 10 min
Bad backs from hockey, working out, fighting bad guys, face tattoos, unproductive coughs, and drinking games.
That kind of makes my heart feel hurt.
Oct 9, 2015 • 4 min
Awake while asleep, packing up old books, heatwave and really hot ladders.
I don’t know how to explain it in a good way.
Oct 8, 2015 • 11 min
Getting rid of a tickle in your throat, winking, and hitting snooze.
Weekly Recap 10/8
Oct 8, 2015 • 8 min
From phone screen protectors to hockey and regret, imagined bowling prowess to improv and racist cannibals there’s no telling where our talks go. The last 4 minutes start by teaching Mommy instagram and end at Fairly Odd Parents…How did we get there?…
I immediately regretted watching it sitting in the house alone.
Oct 7, 2015 • 8 min
Sleeping all day, broken closet doors, and American Horror Story.
It’s ok, I don’t either.
Oct 6, 2015 • 17 min
A podcast shoutout, Brennan our sound guy, improv, volunteer hours and head scarves.
So, you can dress up on campus?
Oct 5, 2015 • 11 min
Hospital bombings, Cosplay wigs, Halloween and rude statements.
That’s called a Billy Ray, by the way.
Oct 4, 2015 • 9 min
An old dream, meeting Steve, catching up on assignments and Cosplay wigs.
Barbies rundown crackhouse.
Oct 3, 2015 • 9 min
Water and Top Ramen, recycling, getting rid of old stuff, and D&D alignment.
You would be effectively waterboarding yourself.
Oct 2, 2015 • 6 min
Sick talk, drinking upside down, and bad anatomy.
Your ultimate goal is to make money.
Oct 1, 2015 • 6 min
Gym class running, GSA club fundraising and a prayer.
Weekly Recap
Oct 1, 2015 • 8 min
This was an especially interesting week. We started out talking about an interesting comical entrance into a classroom by two of her classmates, we moved on to talking about whether or not knowing the future is something that we would want to do and we…
You don’t know how to handle your own failures and not being great.
Sep 30, 2015 • 12 min
Improv, other people’s characters, and the benefits of competition.
Popular, I know about popular.
Sep 29, 2015 • 12 min
Minimum days, witches at the door and a really funny New York themed meme.
I would have made you wash with bleach.
Sep 28, 2015 • 7 min
Hockey, bowling, finding food, blue hands, coughing and new gel pens.
You got my wigs sweaty, I assume you’ll get my hat sweaty too.
Sep 27, 2015 • 9 min
Dual use wigs, cosplay cons on Sunday nights, nickelodeon shows and hidden food.
My mom stuck my dead hamster on their fence.
Sep 26, 2015 • 7 min
Tired girls, barking dogs, threatening letters and “Cribs”
Don’t actually die though. The paperwork involved in that would suck.
Sep 25, 2015 • 10 min
Walking for hours, Sayble can sleep anywhere, bad dreams and family members or to get you.
It’s definitely a part of you but it’s not entirely who you are.
Sep 24, 2015 • 11 min
Back to school night, LGBT club, sexuality, a coming out and realizing how we react to news.
Weekly Recap
Sep 24, 2015 • 7 min
This week we had a couple of conversations that some people might think are usually reserved for Moms. Syd made a friend based on the fact that she didn’t shave her legs and I laid down the law about missing school because of menstrual cramps. We also …
I get it. I hear you, but too bad.
Sep 23, 2015 • 7 min
Post Big Brother, spoilers, enjoying the journey, knowing the future, YouTube and a messed up prayer.
Make up something that’s a little more appropriate for your age
Sep 22, 2015 • 10 min
Drama class characters, back stories and Dad makes a suggestion.
Don’t live your life as a meme.
Sep 21, 2015 • 11 min
Ladies first, fun facts with Malik, Pi, memes, and laundry.
You bought really good cheese and you hid it from me?
Sep 20, 2015 • 14 min
Peanut allergies, Whole Foods, cheese, random facial expressions, old film and not using the word lame.
You got the bad luck of teeth.
Sep 19, 2015 • 5 min
Bad dreams, tooth brushing, PromStuck at the beach.
Did you speak French with Kody yesterday?
Sep 18, 2015 • 7 min
A little French, last minute Prom-Stuck details, and Syd’s new “thing.”
Don’t say the F-word.
Sep 17, 2015 • 13 min
A new friend, an old nemesis, shaving legs and Science.
Weekly Recap, 9/18
Sep 17, 2015 • 5 min
We had a heatwave, Syd is planning a Cosplay Prom and school started, so we tackled some Fatherly advice this week. Some whimsical some serious. How did I do?
That’s why I do so poorly at Socratic seminars.
Sep 16, 2015 • 11 min
Tsunami warnings, forgetfulness, planning a joke and school stuff.
Listen, you’re a Freshman in high school, maybe it’s time you start keeping track yourself.
Sep 15, 2015 • 11 min
Bedding etiquette, not making time, missing school because of cramps and menstruation tracking.
One of these days you’ll realize that I am the smartest person you know.
Sep 14, 2015 • 11 min
Dirty clothes, a frustrating game, meeting Stephen Hawking and Anne Hathaway.
Missing assignments is where I’ll focus my energies.
Sep 13, 2015 • 9 min
Negotiating the terms of the recycling deal, how effort is evaluated, and the sermon.
I don’t think that’s true, because I’m currently a child.
Sep 12, 2015 • 10 min
Recycling deal, crushing cans for the first time, living a long time and Eggies.
You shouldn’t even upload this episode…
Sep 11, 2015 • 4 min
Falling asleep during Dateline, responsibilities in order of importance, some mumbling and a prayer.
I want you to participate in those things that you find enjoyable that are non school related.
Sep 10, 2015 • 6 min
Math in the morning, Prom-Stuck, school before hobbies and invitations with the wrong address.
Weekly Recap 9/10/15
Sep 10, 2015 • 7 min
Rick sets rules for missed assignments but finds that Sydney has already set her own. We recap the anime convention Syd attended and Syd explains the difference between a costume and a cosplay. While in drama class, Syd encounters a homophobe and she s…
If that happens, I’ll go pretty quickly, which brings me some peace.
Sep 9, 2015 • 8 min
Beach-stuck, hot rooms and embracing the zombie apocalypse.
I am definitely going to be average, like, solidly in the bottom of the middle.
Sep 8, 2015 • 9 min
To cool to speak in math class, setting sights too low and parents are always right.
I’m not going to wear a Halloween costume to a Con.
Sep 6, 2015 • 12 min
Phone update, costumes versus Cosplay, car colors and a special request to God.
I’m not going to sugar coat this. I need new pillows.
Sep 5, 2015 • 7 min
Pillows, Sears, fake TV sets and IKEA.
I feel like your perception of me and how my brain works is from the past.
Sep 4, 2015 • 20 min
Class lists, bad and good teachers, Carrie, and falling into the trap of believing you are bad at something.
Weekly Recap
Sep 3, 2015 • 7 min
This week I found out that Syd actually enjoys getting up early, we both agreed about the Caitlyn Jenner costume but Syd articulates it better than I. We also discussed her volunteer hours and then we talked about the Sunday sermon where I get to hear…
Yeah, I’m selling organs on the black market.
Sep 3, 2015 • 10 min
Room re-rganization, memes vs.GIF’s, Syd’s first french sentences and stereotypes.
That sounds like the start of am exciting year.
Sep 2, 2015 • 15 min
The elephant in the room, class schedules, and math teacher letdowns.
Another 9 more years and your brain will be fully formed.
Sep 1, 2015 • 6 min
The new bedtime, effort, almost a grownup and continuous learning.
I think I’m so sad, but I’m so happy right now.
Aug 31, 2015 • 11 min
School maps, pictures, Con assessment, and enjoying the journey.
You’re at a Con, you do Con stuff…
Aug 30, 2015 • 8 min
Five words, free Coke, not eating, and finding pictures.
So pretend like I’m telling you you’re not going to the Con…
Aug 27, 2015 • 8 min
Consequences for not cleaning her room, days of the Con, last minute instructions and fan fiction.
Weekly Recap, 8/23
Aug 27, 2015 • 8 min
Syd’s friend Sayble joined us this week before school starts up again. We discussed how meatball trees would be a good idea, and the girls ran into a coyote. When Syd starts to tell me about her schedule, listen to how her voice changes as I tell her …
I guessed the password. I got it on the first try.
Aug 26, 2015 • 9 min
Curdled milk in a cup, packing for the Con, eating in Cosplay and a new phone.
Good talk, Son.
Aug 25, 2015 • 9 min
Getting up early, the Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume, starting school, hitting snooze and femenist clubs.
Oh boy, I can’t do that math in my head.
Aug 24, 2015 • 8 min
Battery recycling, volunteer hours and trying to do math in your head.
How we handle disappointment..
Aug 23, 2015 • 10 min
Preparing for failure, not playing well with others and not peaking in sixth grade.
I was secretly giggling to myself.
Aug 22, 2015 • 10 min
How to clean a room, a REALLY great idea, sinister voices, and “Bun.”
Oh my gosh, my toe’s a celebrity.
Aug 21, 2015 • 8 min
A wigs new home, fading walls and the shape of toes.
So, are you going to talk to us about our coyote encounter?
Aug 20, 2015 • 8 min
Broken phones and hooves, coyotes, wer-coyotes and negotiating a room cleaning.
How did you end up toasting marshmallow on our kitchen stove?
Aug 19, 2015 • 10 min
On top of spaghetti, sourdough bread, paint splotches, and toasting marshmallows.
Weekly Recap - 8/16
Aug 19, 2015 • 7 min
This week we talked about racism on the one year anniversary of the Michael Brown shooting in Ferguson, I got a movie review, Syd went to camp and gave her testimony in front of over 100 people… We discussed levels of pride. Also, I made really good …
It says, “Introduction to kinesiology.” Is that what they call PE?
Aug 18, 2015 • 11 min
Freshman orientation, class schedules and setting goals.
I can’t just be the wingman…
Aug 17, 2015 • 6 min
Molding dragon heads, painting horns and planning our Cosplay finishing touches.
You said “A towel made of water,” I can’t say “Like breathing in Jello?”
Aug 16, 2015 • 12 min
A heatwave, Testers paints, homemade costumes and stranded with waffles.
Do you mind if I butt in right here before you keep going?
Aug 15, 2015 • 14 min
Headphones, Cosplay, dress codes, inappropriate behavior and gender rolls.
You want Bling. I want Bling too.
Aug 14, 2015 • 6 min
Testimony, hundreds, math class requirements and laminating schedules.
Weekly Recap
Aug 12, 2015 • 8 min
This week I got to teach Sydney about snack cakes and High School pranks. Also, I got to see how influencial of a parent I have been so far, and then I try to get to the bottom of why she stays up so late. In some respects Sydney seems wiser that the k…
You have to curb your excitement, you can’t get killed in the process.
Aug 10, 2015 • 7 min
Itinerary defined, three days, slow motion reunions and how to wake a teen.
Older brothers can do this to younger sisters.
Aug 9, 2015 • 10 min
Ferguson, racism, bully cops and a questionable suicide.
Go to bed… Like, actual bed.
Aug 8, 2015 • 10 min
Ant Man review, movie clichés, Cosplay checklists and preventable accidents.
Nothing good happens after 2 o’clock.
Aug 6, 2015 • 11 min
1500 likes, staying up late, swirlies, and the Republican debate.
I didn’t read his sign, but he was holding a sign.
Aug 5, 2015 • 6 min
5 part story structure, anatomy games cores and feeding the homeless.
Don’t be surprised if all of your stuff is out on the front porch tomorrow.
Aug 4, 2015 • 8 min
Ho-Ho’s vs. Ding Dongs, sideways pizza and teachable moments.
No part of me is only school.
Aug 3, 2015 • 14 min
New pillows, writing with a stylus, Nick, and a really weird dream.
Weekly Recap
Aug 2, 2015 • 12 min
A recap of our week featuring bits of several conversions. We talked about hunting lions and the responsibility that comes with that, being self critical and, of course, I may have been overthinking this part! It’s difficult to tell sometimes if the t…
I feel like sometimes you underestimate me…
Aug 1, 2015 • 12 min
When do we start caring about the world? How much of my focus will become Syd’s? Tonight I challenged her to pay more attention to current events, specifically the presidential election. Her response surprised me. 0:00-4:30 Current events, 4:30-7:00 …
I think most artists dislike their own work.
Jul 31, 2015 • 11 min
Sydney seemed ashamed of some of the artwork she created and tonight we discussed the unsettled feeling I had about that. She defended her position really thoughtfully. 0:00- 1:00 A poorly constructed joke 1:00- 7:00 Self critical thinking and r…
Where was the outrage when we were killing all those other lions?
Jul 29, 2015 • 18 min
Lion killing, Internet shaming, and all original material.
I’m 14 years old and I’m not grown up and mature…
Jul 28, 2015 • 22 min
Evaluating a painting, not doing your work, sharp comebacks and laying the groundwork for being a good person.
Isn’t “You walk like a guy” similar to “You throw like a girl?”
Jul 27, 2015 • 10 min
ORT of the movie, walking home in the dark, and chalk for kittens.
So until the intense shining spotlight dims down a bit…
Jul 26, 2015 • 11 min
Caitlyn Jenner, the voice of a people, setting an alarmand Goldilocks.
Not into the ocean. That would make my problem worse.
Jul 25, 2015 • 11 min
A lost phone, why parents get angry, regular Taco Bell customers and a really hot room.
What’s the difference between stacked and piled?
Jul 24, 2015 • 9 min
Mugs for drugs, desks in closets, and a definition.
Wearing the Cosplay makes me feel really, like, weirdly confidant.
Jul 23, 2015 • 21 min
Surreal painting, a new wig, making costumes and the way it makes you feel.
My art history knowledge is poor.
Jul 22, 2015 • 13 min
Impressionistic painters, the perception of time, nails, and running as fast as a car.
I think the volunteers would have to be unwilling.
Jul 21, 2015 • 14 min
Dentist challenges, playlists, poor sentence structure and dad’s “tell.”
The destination is Trust.
Jul 20, 2015 • 11 min
Types of plastic, interventions, Foreigner and a great message yesterday.
Don’t do that. It’s not as cool as you think.
Jul 19, 2015 • 16 min
Cosplay costume stress, Pinocchio with bad eyesight and new sunglasses.
Lately I feel like I’m, like, doing something with my life.
Jul 18, 2015 • 17 min
Cosplay stress, growing up and feeling good about it.
So, like I said, I don’t know if it’s appropriate to tell you…
Jul 17, 2015 • 19 min
Gushing about Gimlet, catching up on art class and buying bikes.
She broke a foot, Talia did…
Jul 16, 2015 • 15 min
Being polite, two point perspective, two year anniversary of the passing of Talia Joy, and leaving a mark.
Well maybe you could throw a fart joke or two in there.
Jul 15, 2015 • 16 min
Art class update, a great nap, smart alecs, and an apology.
If you actually had the anatomy of a hand that I drew, you’d never be able to open a can.
Jul 14, 2015 • 12 min
Collages, proportions of a face, learning to draw, lifeguards and teaching daughters confidence poorly.
I don’t have to get up and run around in at class.
Jul 13, 2015 • 13 min
Cool toys, Talia, nail polish, self control, Snoop Dogg, and staying up late.
I think I’m going to get another wig.
Jul 12, 2015 • 11 min
Rosebud, self portraits, sharing earbuds, and costume changes.
It’s not a matter of opinion of they’re in the community, it’s fact.
Jul 11, 2015 • 14 min
Pixar, pride, LGBT, and a disagreement.
Will wash babies for food. He had a sign.
Jul 10, 2015 • 18 min
Pescatarians, Syd’s first day, washing babies and Old Gregg.
I’m never gonna be talking about colors like colors wearing sunglasses.
Jul 9, 2015 • 16 min
Sydney’s birth day, no epidural, collage update and a play date.
It didn’t start out as a positive message.
Jul 8, 2015 • 10 min
Cosplay organization, the don’t judge me challenge, and Dad is pretty hip.
And you play for shoes and cigarettes and dime bags of cocaine.
Jul 7, 2015 • 13 min
Painting class, endangered orcas, dice and a play date.
Wow, so not where I thought you were going to go with that.
Jul 6, 2015 • 13 min
Long nails, drawing and painting class, shallow thoughts and a wake up time.
You can lay in it, you just can’t eat it.
Jul 5, 2015 • 11 min
Open closet doors, where the line is, Cosplay costume and sunglasses.
How did we get to talking about the different types of old people?
Jul 3, 2015 • 11 min
Things I missed, time travel, old people and healthy habits.
I don’t want you making long term decisions based on short term problems.
Jul 2, 2015 • 8 min
Sickness maintenence, art class, YMCA, and Cosplay.
So how is your summer going?
Jul 1, 2015 • 13 min
A guest, gay marriage, 4H and chicken shows.
Funny, you don’t look like a 14 year old girl.
Jun 28, 2015 • 5 min
Health check, a call from Sayble and an understudy for Sydney.
You’re not as funny tonight as you were last night.
Jun 27, 2015 • 8 min
Poor dieting choices, the need for fans, and the confederate flag.
That’s you. You look like a chicken leg.
Jun 26, 2015 • 12 min
SCOTUS decision, doctors who use food metaphors, eating dad and Sydney’s prayer.
It’s like someone just stuck a needle in my throat.
Jun 25, 2015 • 3 min
A hurtful swallow and prayer.
Reading through an encyclopedia is like walking through a Dollar Tree.
Jun 24, 2015 • 6 min
Excited for high school, the purpose of tonsils and encyclopedias.
Modem art.
Jun 23, 2015 • 2 min
Fever, art class and sicky breath.
That’s what you’re taking exception with out of that sentence?
Jun 22, 2015 • 6 min
Fan pages, starting high school, pregnant at 16 and digging a grave.
Not everyone was a professional comedian for a portion of their life.
Jun 21, 2015 • 12 min
Dad’s hair, Father’s Day and starting school.
That’s the perfect amount of grime.
Jun 19, 2015 • 8 min
Gilligan’s Island, dirty screens, and grading an art class.
Just because it’s a holiday doesn’t mean it’s a holiday from cleanliness.
Jun 18, 2015 • 11 min
Talking in captions, walking in Cosplay, taking summer classes and dad’s painting.
Putting rocks in CK’s water.
Jun 17, 2015 • 12 min
Rude spectators, 5 words, vice principals that watch the Bachelor and bad waiters.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
Jun 16, 2015 • 9 min
Pool parties, sleepovers and favorite roller coasters.
The green thing actually got me more excited for high school.
Jun 15, 2015 • 10 min
How to “do” Knotts, being a high schooler and setting goals.
So, when 8th grade is over and high school begins, I’m going to be expecting more original content.
Jun 14, 2015 • 13 min
Digital art, original content and the final exam.
It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
Jun 11, 2015 • 9 min
Why we’re role models, dad jeans, and delayed injuries.
We don’t dig no chicks with buns and glasses.
Jun 10, 2015 • 6 min
Suit shaped cheese crackers, internet-based cartoons and frenemies.
My finger is just so disproportionate.
Jun 9, 2015 • 8 min
Tiny hangers, jammed fingers, and make up work.
High school was the best 35 years of my life.
Jun 8, 2015 • 10 min
Summer classes, going back to school, and service hours.
It would be things that are interesting to me.
Jun 7, 2015 • 17 min
Story Core, instagram, femenists and facts versus headlines.
I’m gonna cut you short unless you have something interesting to say.
Jun 6, 2015 • 8 min
Starting school, economically challenged students, and throwing shade.
That’s what every almost 50 year old man wants to look like.
Jun 5, 2015 • 10 min
Water Polo, basketball, tennis, swimming pools and new glasses.
Oh my gosh, have you seen your knees?
Jun 4, 2015 • 14 min
Poor sports, consequences of taking risks, and the last of the math learning.
They pride themselves on being kinda smart and sassy.
Jun 3, 2015 • 5 min
Trolls, mean people and misspelling on purpose.
I’d really like to do something about this world hunger thing, but, uh…
Jun 2, 2015 • 4 min
Food in the bed, substitute teachers and a petty prayer request.
Persperating. That sounds so much cooler though. Just let it happen.
Jun 1, 2015 • 18 min
Caitlyn Jenner, team handball and getting in shape.
We’re not the heros society makes us out to be.
May 31, 2015 • 12 min
On being cool, Shari Lewis and Lambchop, NPR and Southwest.
Instead of shaming fat people, they’re shaming thin supermodels.
May 30, 2015 • 15 min
Exclamation points, fat shaming and the realization that we’re not good role models.
Extra lunch period could be extra math period.
May 29, 2015 • 7 min
Double lunch, math dumb, how a room gets hot and scars.
If they were a snack or one of those physics things, I’d buy it.
May 28, 2015 • 8 min
Newton’s balls, Ross, factory seconds and floral wire pets.
Answer the question, Rick.
May 27, 2015 • 8 min
Bad pillows, sick children, needy fathers and Don’t Feed The Trolls.
I am not History class. I am not offering more questions than answers.
May 26, 2015 • 9 min
Back to school night, English vs. History, a method to the madness and Mormons.
Why’dya stop doing fun stuff when I was born?
May 25, 2015 • 8 min
Getting to the President, City Hall, cubicles and dioramas of the city.
Booya! No school tomorrow.
May 24, 2015 • 6 min
Sequels, Taken 3 and which is the best Shrek?
Not the chocolate milk stains. Those are my favorite.
May 23, 2015 • 7 min
Buying and selling beds, shopping trips and donuts.
When you eventually get your TED talk, lead with that.
May 21, 2015 • 15 min
Turning on the fan, take your Mother to lunch day, a driving lesson and going on a manhunt.
It’s something that a pirate would stereotypically say
May 20, 2015 • 8 min
Homestruck, History debates, North vs. South and TIL..
I was trying to think if something interesting had happened to me today.
May 19, 2015 • 10 min
Pillows, crowd-sourced remixes, and Big Brother.
I didn’t say it was a joke, I said it was a lie.
May 18, 2015 • 12 min
A clean room, hoarding, making diamonds and mind control.
TCB. What? Take care of business. I thought it was a sandwich.
May 17, 2015 • 12 min
Letters to dead people, BASH (Breakfast At Sydney’s House,) and staying in touch with old friends.
That’s just what the Pikstick was invented for, so 13 year old girls could give their fathers wedgies.
May 16, 2015 • 8 min
New shows, clones, and nature versus nurture.
So pee and poop would be fine, but throw up is where you draw the line?
May 15, 2015 • 10 min
Cleaning a room, stepping on stuff, and talent without technique.
Like, crunchy foods world hurt.
May 14, 2015 • 6 min
Crying about the middle, tightened braces and one tired girl.
I’d go 1000 miles per hour always.
May 13, 2015 • 19 min
Invisibility or flight?
And maybe not the being held in a cage by our gym teacher.
May 12, 2015 • 9 min
Weird dreams, face picking, and Abraham Lincoln.
You’ll be an old lady by then.
May 11, 2015 • 8 min
Math, aging well, and porcelain dolls.
There you go, that’s it, make a tshirt.
May 10, 2015 • 7 min
Mother’s Day, crying over cards, going green and dresses that look like cartoons.
This entire cubby is filled with my porcelain dolls.
May 9, 2015 • 5 min
Factory restarts, room cleaning and spooky dolls.
This is a look in the life of Sydney.
May 8, 2015 • 9 min
Rain, pictures, and sad frog.
There’s always two teams that are like, “What is a baseball? “
May 7, 2015 • 12 min
Surprise reunions, Sherlock, ice cream, paddle ball, and picking teams.
You could be eating fish baby pudding.
May 6, 2015 • 16 min
Pudding, church games, secret sister letdown and prayer.
Pigs. Where is this going?
May 5, 2015 • 6 min
Actors we know, great script writing, pigs and TED talks.
Longer tongues are just better for turning.
May 4, 2015 • 11 min
Bumps, head injuries, makeup and the length of tongues.
That’s the deal you make for freedom.
May 3, 2015 • 7 min
Headphones, cleaning a room and Dad sets an expectation.
It’s not disappointment, it’s fear.
May 2, 2015 • 6 min
Fundraisers, hot dog let downs, milk after soda and honey.
I’m going to high school, I gotta spread my wings.
May 1, 2015 • 15 min
Sanyo C4, track meets, church camp and million dollar pay per view fights.
I am throwing shade. Don’t tell him I said that.
Apr 30, 2015 • 9 min
Original characters, throwing shade, and missions to Mars.
Was it a good hot dog? Like a big all beef 4 to 1?
Apr 29, 2015 • 12 min
Bruises or dirt, snakes, bbqs, and hot dog sizes.
“Hey, don’t support gay people son.”
Apr 28, 2015 • 25 min
Supreme court, gay marriage, poor parenting and bad behavior in Maryland.
I like my regularity in my sleep and on my bowel movements.
Apr 27, 2015 • 11 min
Paddle tennis, being swatted in grammar school, Baltimore and sleep.
And then Rose. Rose is not a skinny waif girl.
Apr 26, 2015 • 14 min
Superglue, wall collages, formulaic television and Steven Universe.
Nice to see that John Travolta in drag is sending the same message that I have been trying to send.
Apr 25, 2015 • 8 min
Sally’s birthday, hair dye and Hairspray.
I felt myself being nervous for him.
Apr 24, 2015 • 8 min
Bruce Jenner.
I know what all of those words mean and none of the content.
Apr 23, 2015 • 9 min
Gemz, malt shops, memes, and SpongeBob.
Can you hold off until we’re finished, and then we’ll let you rob us?
Apr 22, 2015 • 13 min
Really expensive markers, original characters, Dad’s favorite TED talk, and church tonight.
That just sucked…horrible… Miserable freakin’ Day…
Apr 21, 2015 • 7 min
Kiddie rides, safety harnesses and croakies.
I believe my daughters have the same right to a good night sleep as my sons.
Apr 20, 2015 • 17 min
School stuff, feminism and The Big Bang.
But I do like me some worship band.
Apr 19, 2015 • 7 min
Pastors, learning to pray, and a great drummer.
Can we wrap this up? Your voice is making me tired.
Apr 18, 2015 • 9 min
Hierarchy of needs, old friends, home schooling, and a rude comment.
If your leg falls off, call me.
Apr 17, 2015 • 6 min
Knee injuries, dreams and an early bed time.
Good talk, man.
Apr 16, 2015 • 10 min
History assignment, natural born leaders and respecting personal pronouns.
‘Cause I’d prefer to talk about that than Spanx.
Apr 15, 2015 • 13 min
Compression clothing, marketing and picking classes for high school.
We have so many bigger things to worry about.
Apr 14, 2015 • 16 min
English tariffs, slavery, racism, and same sex marriage.
Mommy likes the more traditional mummy cats, with the white tape on them.
Apr 13, 2015 • 6 min
Zombie Barbie, bobcats and workmen, and mummy cats.
Where did you learn all this crazy?
Apr 12, 2015 • 13 min
Sleeping needs, protective covers, Harry Potter, and schrodinger’s cat
I don’t need my historian studies from sixth grade.
Apr 11, 2015 • 8 min
Handwriting, I dotting, and planning for school on Monday.
If I ever get arrested, I’ll thank Mrs. Matt.
Apr 10, 2015 • 18 min
Police etiquette, seventh grade Miranda rights and a non sequitur.
I was very proud of myself for that dated reference.
Apr 9, 2015 • 7 min
Sleeping clothes, Chicagoland, eating makeup and a call to action.
On a completely different note, can I shave the side of my head?
Apr 8, 2015 • 15 min
Photography, kinkos, sleep overs and pushing the boundaries.
Dude, you wanna sneak behind the bleachers and eat some broccoli?
Apr 6, 2015 • 10 min
Pillows, peer pressure, and a path to photography.
You had to bring it full circle, didn’t you?
Apr 5, 2015 • 9 min
Three hands, counterfeit money and a sad Easter.
Instead of saying a prayer, I almost said my phone number.
Apr 4, 2015 • 15 min
Art, how hands feel, and brain farts.
A pen you shall keep. Your hands are disgusting.
Apr 3, 2015 • 12 min
Keeping a journal, hair dye, electives, and good photography.
I think I was in prison when you were in kindergarten.
Apr 2, 2015 • 10 min
Kindergarten songs, gluten free art and spring break plans.
It’s so tiny. I don’t know why their calling it a fence.
Apr 1, 2015 • 6 min
Bad dreams, a talent for the creative and writing it down.
I was sitting there crying in 6th period and I didn’t know what to do.
Mar 31, 2015 • 12 min
Dr. Seuss, egg drop post talk, stressing out and character defining traits.
And we’re stuck, crouched in a bush…
Mar 30, 2015 • 10 min
Daddy daughter dance, planning Syd’s life, picked last and a heart attack.
You had an epic beard when you were two.
Mar 29, 2015 • 6 min
Shaved legs, yetis, poor parenting and heart attacked.
We’re gonna suck, but we’re still going to have a fantastic time.
Mar 28, 2015 • 18 min
Piercing the veil, movie spoilers, badminton and found footage.
Maybe it won’t kill me, but it might kill you.
Mar 27, 2015 • 9 min
Funny voices, Zayn quit, softball, termites in my hair and aging well.
Don’t be afraid to leave it on stage.
Mar 26, 2015 • 4 min
Restriction, presentation and rules for the stage.
Zayn Malik is a beautiful human being.
Mar 25, 2015 • 9 min
Church games, public presentations, and One Direction.
Your always playing for second, boys.
Mar 24, 2015 • 12 min
Topless women, starting trends, and egg drops.
I’m not gonna get in trouble about some pajama pants.
Mar 23, 2015 • 12 min
Mean girl, a lesson about mean girls, free dress day and confidence.
You’ve said “like,” like, 15 times in that sentence.
Mar 22, 2015 • 11 min
Free dress day, tv shows, and like.
Don’t be a jerk.
Mar 21, 2015 • 9 min
Good advice, bad advice, picking boyfriends, and who’s the boss.
Does the sound effect help?
Mar 20, 2015 • 10 min
Leadership posture, drawn pictures and theme parks.
That’s not gonna happen, Ricky-boy.
Mar 19, 2015 • 8 min
Left for dead, cats, raising fake babies and math.
You turn a lot of conversations into lectures.
Mar 18, 2015 • 12 min
Bun, heart pillow, secret code languages, poor math grades lectures, and braces.
I’ll try anything once. Except for guacamole.
Mar 17, 2015 • 19 min
Language, orcas, nurture, and big babies.
Sleeping and snoring.
Mar 16, 2015 • 0 min
Syd was out when I went in.
Asmr no more questions.
Mar 15, 2015 • 11 min
Bed rituals, show prep, fake realty shows and ASMR. (Yeah, it’s a thing.)
We missed ultimate pi day.
Mar 14, 2015 • 9 min
Pi, new sheets, and “when is Sable ever going home?”
If you make anything with oven, pan needs to be cleaned.
Mar 13, 2015 • 5 min
Sable’s hair dye, using the oven, and a really hot room.
We’re raising people.
Mar 12, 2015 • 13 min
Eighth grade drama, Transgendered teens and Jesus.
Their parents must have been horrible.
Mar 11, 2015 • 16 min
Islam, Jesus, terrorists and racism.
I had a hat and a do-rag on in that picture.
Mar 10, 2015 • 11 min
Glasses, greys, and Japanese TV viewing habits.
It’s like a White Elephant version of The Bachelor.
Mar 9, 2015 • 14 min
The Bachelor, Amber Alerts, and falling asleep to really interesting books.
“Took your baby. BRB.”
Mar 8, 2015 • 12 min
Dog beach, shell shops, taking care of babies, and juvy.
They just put ‘em in a box with a plexiglass top on it.
Mar 7, 2015 • 12 min
Lip licking, solving for x, fan fiction and embalmbing in Mexico.
Seriously? You thought I was coming at you with a tongue?
Mar 6, 2015 • 10 min
Wise quotes, quitter socks, forgotten Christmas stockings and braces.
Your group is exactly who your group is.
Mar 5, 2015 • 15 min
Consequences, the character of kids, the one thing that changes your life, and an unexpected death.
You have actual, like, purple bags under your eyes.
Mar 4, 2015 • 13 min
Consequences, school dance attire, and creepy dreams.
Oh look, it’s the Blue Man Group.
Mar 3, 2015 • 12 min
Bully card follow up, creeping people out, a super nice guy, and microwave popcorn.
That behavior stops when it starts being illuminated.
Mar 2, 2015 • 10 min
Headaches, intolerance after the museum of tolerance, and the dentist.
If the ice cream truck is playing music, they are out of ice cream.
Mar 1, 2015 • 21 min
Dub step, success, lying to children, and the museum of tolerance.
Tough to do a podcast when Syd is sleeping.
Feb 28, 2015 • 1 min
A quick prayer because party girl can’t handle staying up until 4am.
Sydney is at a sleepover
Feb 27, 2015 • 4 min
Contact information, social media and a request for feedback.
I dare you to eat that broccoli.
Feb 26, 2015 • 17 min
Standing up to bullies, being a fink, good peer pressure, and inspirational songs.
I’m not even afraid of mimes.
Feb 25, 2015 • 13 min
Laundry, making pretzels, a really bad dream, American Horror Story, and the death of a friend’s dad.
Lipsticks don’t dry out.
Feb 24, 2015 • 13 min
Dad’s comedy before kids, zen gardens, math, and learning to read.
I will be “owning your iPad and phone Dad.”
Feb 23, 2015 • 14 min
Princess and the pea, math scores, advertising and three completely unrelated topics
So, apparently, you have the cognitive thinking ability of a 3 year old.
Feb 22, 2015 • 7 min
Braids, brain function and secretive friends birthdays.
We’d get you a really nice hook… well, not like a pirates hook.
Feb 21, 2015 • 13 min
De-kidding the room, childhood injuries, hair extentions and a minor wound.
Flowers for Algernon
Feb 20, 2015 • 9 min
Ted talks, the brain, and germs all over.
The phrase tearing meat and spilling flesh was definitely in there.
Feb 19, 2015 • 14 min
Virtual reality glasses, split tongues, monkey paws and rewritten endings.
Improvement is the metric that everybody looks at.
Feb 18, 2015 • 9 min
Slurred esses, new rubber bands, and getting on the wall of fame.
Well, she’s a witch. Whatja expect?
Feb 17, 2015 • 15 min
Braces rubber band colors, piercings, and a really great wedding.
If you look it up, you’ll find it.
Feb 16, 2015 • 6 min
Can openers in bed, Obama stuff, and Star Wars.
That is true, some of it is gonna suck. But, I can promise you, it won’t all suck.
Feb 15, 2015 • 11 min
Sadness, crying, and an early bedtime.
What happens next is pure magic.
Feb 14, 2015 • 10 min
The longest word, click bait, room additions, and presidents day.
I feel bad for laughing at those commercials. And rightfully, you should.
Feb 13, 2015 • 9 min
NECCO, candy heart phrases, life alert, and darning socks.
Perfect scores are not always the most, um, beneficial.
Feb 12, 2015 • 11 min
Chicken facts, math scores, and mistakes.
I owe you an apology.
Feb 11, 2015 • 16 min
Apologies and a course correction.
You do NOT have crippling social anxiety.
Feb 10, 2015 • 16 min
The downside of empathy, bad stomachs, how much pollution, and a made up diagnosis.
I don’t see anything wrong with having a pizza on our time, Mr. Hand.
Feb 9, 2015 • 19 min
Gym class, the heart, surgery, categories, and childbirth.
In Dog we trust.
Feb 8, 2015 • 15 min
Blue hair, haunted houses, psychological experiments, hypocrites and matching.
A tired Sydney is like a completely untired Kody.
Feb 7, 2015 • 16 min
Blackfish, documentary truths, and a really tired girl.
I have to tell you, I hated Marley &Me.
Feb 6, 2015 • 12 min
Fitness tests, teachers hated books, Flowers for Algernon, and not raiding the fridge.
We’re dusting for prints and yours aren’t on that arrow.
Feb 5, 2015 • 13 min
Notebook hoarder, weird friends, Haley and Brian, going out, and talking the bus.
I could rule the world!
Feb 4, 2015 • 20 min
Corrections, things dad has on his head, running, Sable’s birthday, perfect squares, and joining a gym.
It doesn’t scare me. It just makes me like…
Feb 3, 2015 • 15 min
Saw, anonymous posts, Sable is back, and daddy daughter kisses.
We never would have secretly wished that Brett Michaels was in a relationship with Nikki Sixx.
Feb 2, 2015 • 14 min
Soil Love, “Shippers,” Dad’s pop culture primer, and loving people where they are.
We are God.
Feb 1, 2015 • 13 min
Moses, being an answer to prayer, high school, and working in a laundromat.
Redhead, sorry. Is that an offensive term?
Jan 31, 2015 • 5 min
Colored hair, “ginger,” and moved stickers.
It smells like cookies. Don’t even start with me.
Jan 30, 2015 • 8 min
Wet gym floors, brothers’ tv, moved seats, and song lyrics written on your hand.
Dosi-doh your partner, and you dosi-doh your corner…
Jan 29, 2015 • 9 min
Talking to yourself, square dancing, and hat day.
You have to stop being shocked that you’re good at math.
Jan 28, 2015 • 13 min
P.E. teacher lied, relay races with cards, math, sausage fingers and puns.
I will make a scene. I will make a complete scene.
Jan 27, 2015 • 17 min
Dance starts tomorrow, dealing with bullies, permission to push back, and what happens when Dad crosses a line.
I’m not sure what the standard for clay balls in bed is.
Jan 26, 2015 • 8 min
Discussion about clay balls in bed, Spotty needing some work, fear of success, and sharing creativity.
I thought it was, like, a “peace” sign…or a chicken foot.
Jan 25, 2015 • 10 min
5 SOS artwork, defining “ombre,” the last week of the semester, and a preview of the witch dream.
We couldn’t be alive right now… But we’re alive right now.
Jan 24, 2015 • 18 min
New podcast called Invisibilia, living without fear, chemical signatures of evil, the wonder of how cool it is to be alive, and all of the things that we have stored up in our head.
I don’t think the amount of thumbs really counts for the places your going.
Jan 23, 2015 • 11 min
Ted Talk about people’s individual hard closets and being true to yourself, the pastor’s last name, being an Uber driver, hitchhiking, and no participation of a kiss.
Moshdi was a neat guy until he started chasing squirrels and throwing things at them.
Jan 22, 2015 • 15 min
Death of a Saudi King, Women’s rights, Shakers, petite friends, people who we thought were cool, messed up bedding, and husbands sleeping on the couch.
Drawing skeletons on your hand is not the kind of thing that’s going to get you an A.
Jan 21, 2015 • 4 min
Changing tastes, freaky videos, drawing on your hand, knowledge of anatomy, and showing my daughter one phalange.
I feel like I need to have a talk with Susan.
Jan 20, 2015 • 8 min
Discussion of Don’t hug me I’m scared, being desensitized, unsettled thoughts about harm coming to friends, cell phone pervasiveness, and changing society.
Try lots of things, you’re going to suck at lots of them…
Jan 19, 2015 • 18 min
Syd on videos, creativity, Facebook posts, Dad’s comedic mind, creative writing, and a lesson about not letting failure hold you back.
You smell like Kickin’ Crab.
Jan 18, 2015 • 6 min
Body’s shutting down, contagious yawns, Time’s Person Of The Year, Ebola workers, sanitation, and crawfish tentacles falling from bracelets.
That happened. They swung me and threw me in a bush.
Jan 17, 2015 • 9 min
Clay sculptures, Sawdust Festival, what Syd remembers, and being thrown in a bush by older brothers.
Just pull your middle finger out of the jar you keep it in.
Jan 16, 2015 • 13 min
Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, looking like a corpse, gangrene, how you could flip someone off if you were the “Undead,” and echo-location.
Life goes how it goes…
Jan 15, 2015 • 10 min
Cleaning out drawers, the history of the world on an unrolled roll of toilet paper, favorite dinosaurs, and when to come home from school.
I need to get Ashton and Luke out from behind my bed.
Jan 14, 2015 • 5 min
Lip plumping, correct grammar, tooth gaps, hair styles, and roll call of hung pictures.
I wasn’t always the phenomenal father that I am today.
Jan 13, 2015 • 15 min
Remembering being 13, blocking out the bad, when is Easter, the wall of Fandom, dressing up as teachers, lumpy heads, and all the ways that Dad injured Syd as a baby.
Dad’s advice on coping. (vol. 2)
Jan 12, 2015 • 15 min
Discussion follows the aftermath of a playful comment made by Mommy about the hairstyle Syd had at bedtime.
I wouldn’t go any kind of shopping with you, except grocery shopping.
Jan 11, 2015 • 12 min
A discussion of bras, microwave bread, poor parenting, personal style, and going one last time to the mini-mall before they close.
When I move into Kody’s room…
Jan 10, 2015 • 10 min
All the ways that Kody’s room gets transformed into Syd’s room.
“#1 Logspliller”
Jan 9, 2015 • 13 min
Making clay sculptures, and maybe moving into Kody’s room after he moves out.
American Horror Story. A primer.
Jan 8, 2015 • 9 min
Syd gives Dad an entry level course on American Horror Story.
Josh, not Josh…
Jan 7, 2015 • 10 min
Jumprope skills, and names we call people.
The story of the 5 monkeys.
Jan 6, 2015 • 13 min
The distance to the moon, eating habits, meeting new people, and a lesson about change.
Dead guys blankets, stolen scissors and a really inappropriate gift…
Jan 5, 2015 • 9 min
Sleeping with stolen scissors, garage sale finds, and the discovery of a gift given by a friend.
Your hair color doesn’t define you.
Jan 4, 2015 • 6 min
How your hair color defines you.
Legalized pot edibles.
Jan 3, 2015 • 13 min
Discussion about marijuana in edible products.
What, does my breath smell?
Jan 2, 2015 • 5 min
Tired, bored, staying up late, dishes piling up, and Dad’s bad breath.
Maybe I should start swearing in front of my kids.
Jan 1, 2015 • 13 min
Discussion of normal behavior when it comes to swearing in front of, or to, children.
There’s a spray-painted starfruit in the corner…
Dec 31, 2014 • 9 min
Early New Year, a guys house that looks like a page in “I Spy,” and shooting in the air.
I’ve always wanted to live somewhere where it snows.
Dec 30, 2014 • 5 min
New Years Planning, snow in Long Beach, and what it is like to live in a place where it snows.
If I stay (alternative endings)
Dec 29, 2014 • 7 min
Discussion of the ending of the film “If I Stay.”
I don’t want some guy coming in treating my daughter like a Princess…
Dec 28, 2014 • 12 min
Wanting vacation to end, Disney princess problems, and women’s empowerment.
I was more chill because I’m used to “jump scares” and stuff.
Dec 27, 2014 • 13 min
Playing in the arcade, and disconnected buttons in elevators.
The three words I can’t stand people saying are the N-word, F-A-G, and retarded…
Dec 26, 2014 • 15 min
A discussion of inequality, racism, and standing up for what is right.
In a band, in people, what matters most? Character.
Dec 25, 2014 • 10 min
Christmas morning recap, the longevity of a band as it relates to the character of individuals.
Will you always help me clean up my barf?
Dec 24, 2014 • 12 min
First Christmas Eve without an expectation of Santa, and a discussion of when you know you made the turn into a more grown-up state.
I used to have another Brother…
Dec 23, 2014 • 8 min
Profiling strangers at the mall, plans for Christmas, and hiding dead bodies in the floorboards of the bedroom.
They’ll finally accept you because you have colored hair.
Dec 22, 2014 • 6 min
Tie-dye, Robin Sparkles, and how to be accepted in the mall stores.
Your vacation is not my vacation.
Dec 21, 2014 • 12 min
Mini Mall, dyed hair falling out, coloring, Christmas Trees.
If there was a “Pretty Contest,” I would probably win…
Dec 20, 2014 • 10 min
Stalker towels, collecting canned goods, baby due dates, eviction notices, and buying presents.
Deceiving people…
Dec 19, 2014 • 11 min
Discussion of the choices we make and how they deceives people.
That was not a transition at all…
Dec 18, 2014 • 12 min
Discussion of meat, ethnic foods, teachers that don’t know your name, and discussions of racism.
He’s like the really old family dog…
Dec 17, 2014 • 7 min
What you would transition to if you could, needing time, math rules, and friends allowing you do do makeovers.
If you are going to shoplift, don’t shoplift crap.
Dec 16, 2014 • 8 min
Early mornings, scheduling, Christmas present lists, and learning how, and what to shoplift.
This is going to be sarcastic, Isn’t it?
Dec 15, 2014 • 10 min
Splitting hairs, sleeping in crumbs, jump rope songs, 8th grade nickname calls, and Mom’s high school worries.
You have to be 17 to cough in your dad’s mouth… Everyone knows that.
Dec 14, 2014 • 13 min
Homework, Christmas countdown, explanation of fooling Syd on Christmas Eve, snow days, and clown cars.
Not a long more time…
Dec 13, 2014 • 10 min
CK writing a text story, Syd mocking Dad about Ted Talks, happiness after loss, and a promise of cleaning a room.
“Rainy Day Lunch,” by the way, would be a great name for a band.
Dec 12, 2014 • 12 min
Registering for High School, Dodgeball, and a discussion of teaching special needs kids.
So, have you done anything productive today?
Dec 11, 2014 • 3 min
Taylor Swift songs, APE evaluation, and no longer being a “pants girl.”
Wow! Throwing shade…
Dec 10, 2014 • 13 min
Subliminal recordings, laughing at your own jokes, boys are children, and a discussion of how to react to “witchy” people.
Is there a Santa?
Dec 9, 2014 • 13 min
Dad finally gets a chance to share the short story about whether there is a Santa with Sydney. This is the first time that Syd admits to not believing.
I’m 13, I know the truth of the world…
Dec 8, 2014 • 7 min
What Syd can smell, after school calls, and the start of a conversation about whether Santa is real.
We saved Christmas
Dec 7, 2014 • 7 min
Christmas lights, saving christmas, sneaking peeks in the Temple, and troubleshooting a report folder.
I don’t want to talk about it…
Dec 6, 2014 • 12 min
A hard discussion about coping, tantrums, how to make decisions, and when the training for adulthood begins.
My feet smell like Peaches and stuff… but not peaches.
Dec 5, 2014 • 8 min
Getting the giggles out, and a discussion about sleepover rules.
Dad’s advice on coping…
Dec 4, 2014 • 19 min
A discussion about the transition to adulthood as it pertains to coping with difficult things like death.
Cool time with buds…
Dec 3, 2014 • 8 min
The smell of our home, poor classroom time management, leaving campus, and a discussion of a gutsy 6th grader.
Parents of the year…
Dec 2, 2014 • 10 min
Generous neighbors, lipstick stains, HS registration, and being a voice actor.
She found the Motherload!
Dec 1, 2014 • 8 min
Unpacking pillows, instructing special needs students, and The Outsiders.
A picture of a lizard on a skateboard, a blowpop…
Nov 30, 2014 • 4 min
Random stuff in bed, doing better in school, and Dad’s take on why.
The Giver
Nov 29, 2014 • 19 min
Discussion after watching the movie version of one of Syd’s favorite books, The Giver.
The phone charging bra
Nov 28, 2014 • 6 min
Random discussion during a sleepover at Sally’s house.
Let me put makeup on my ladyface…
Nov 27, 2014 • 5 min
Thanksgiving wrap-up, fawning over Dad’s Turkey, semi-naked ken dolls, and a series of out-takes from the little screen.
Anna Kendrick
Nov 26, 2014 • 11 min
Hot chocolate for breakfast, bad parenting choices, inability to remember Anna Kendricks name, and Star Wars posters.
Are you sure that’s not one of the 1001 uses ?
Nov 25, 2014 • 8 min
Ditching Dad on Hunger Games, a discussion of duct tape uses, and a plan to have a kids rule book.
But I do worry about money…
Nov 24, 2014 • 13 min
Sleeping like logs, hay hair, testing sick cats, a discussion about who worries about money, and creepy smiles.
Neither chairs, nor a table, make Thanksgiving…
Nov 23, 2014 • 10 min
Another day with a messy room, and Thanksgiving plans.
I’m just worried about mommy…
Nov 22, 2014 • 13 min
Big Kitty is sick. Discussion about what will happen if she dies.
So that’s where my tax dollars are going…
Nov 21, 2014 • 10 min
Dirty room, the first day with the new car, Markers on hair, and an after hours party in the bedroom.
Diego is sooooooo cute
Nov 20, 2014 • 9 min
Discussion of Sydney’s time in APE with Diego, personal space, Thanksgiving games, and politically incorrect terms for Native Americans,
I was…ok with it…
Nov 19, 2014 • 10 min
Sydney’s bad dream.
Nov 18, 2014 • 12 min
Spreading positivity, rewarding your staff, 5 marbles and a ping pong ball.
Artichokes in Japanese
Nov 17, 2014 • 11 min
Learning a new language, smarties, early vacation, and APE. (poor audio quality)
Doctor Who?
Nov 16, 2014 • 7 min
Patience, Dr. Who personalities, dvd’s after death, and a relation to Popeye.
Something about cockroaches
Nov 15, 2014 • 4 min
Premier. Kim Possible, chipped nail polish and “roach doctor.”