Phil and Lisa Ruin the Movies

Phil and Lisa Ruin the Movies
Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels say terrible things about movies they haven’t seen and ruin everything for everybody.

44: Phil and Lisa Ruin the City of Angels
Apr 26 • 42 min
Randy Newman may love L.A., but he doesn’t love it as much as Phil and Lisa love movies about L.A. Best of all, there is no actual Randy Newman in this podcast….
43: Phil and Lisa Ruin the Bonds of Holy Matrimony
Apr 12 • 55 min
With no trailers to watch, Phil and Lisa turn their attention to Disney’s Fairy Tale Weddings, proving there’s no joyous occasion they can’t ruin. Movies Ruined: Jurassic Park, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, Singin’ in the Rain, The Thomas…
42: Phil and Lisa Ruin the Western Canon
Mar 22 • 45 min
Lisa confuses her world wars, Phil strips people of their Oscar nominations and William Shatner stops by to share his favorite 19th century works of literature. Plus, we battle pandemics with a song in our heart and fluffy musicals on our TV. Movies…
41: Idris Elba: Sex Panther
Dec 31, 2019 • 40 min
Phil and Lisa cope with the hysterical blindness triggered by “Cats.” But fortunately, there are many new trailers to ruin, including several from the thick-knuckled lummoxes at DC Comics. Movies Ruined: “Cats”, “Dolittle”, “Birds of Prey”, “Wonder Woman…
40: Phil and Lisa Ruin a Star War
Dec 23, 2019 • 56 min
In this spoiler-filled episode, we give The Rise of Skywalker a thorough going-over. Plus, we discover a not-as-terrible-as-you-might-think addition to our carousel of bad holiday made-for-TV movies. And Phil has a nasty break-up with Jennifer Lawrence.…
39: Phil and Lisa Ruin the X-Men Draft
Sep 29, 2019 • 30 min
In this crossover with episode 480 of The Incomparable, Phil and Lisa break down the draft choices made in the X-Men draft. It not you, it Gambit….
38: Phil and Lisa Send in the Clowns
Aug 19, 2019 • 46 min
Send in the clowns. Those murderous clowns. Let’s put them in movies and shows. Those thrice-damned clowns. Movies Ruined: It, Chapter 2; The Joker; Little Women; Becket; Angry Birds 2; Kung Fu Hustle; Ip Man…
37: Phil and Lisa Ruin James Corden
Aug 11, 2019 • 54 min
This episode is better than Cats. You will listen to it again and again. Movies Ruined: Cats, Baby Driver, Inglorious Basterds, Hateful Eight, Mask of Dimitrios, Scott Pilgrim, first Monday in May, Wendy Whelan: Restless Creature….
36: Phil and Lisa Ruin the Avengers Franchise
Dec 9, 2018 • 56 min
Lisa prepares a video essay on what’s wrong with the Marvel franchise while Phil sees children’s movie after children’s movie. Also, let’s get woke, in-flight movie-style! Movies Ruined: Ralph Breaks the Internet, Dumbo (2019), Hotel Transylvania 3,…
35: Phil And Lisa Ruin Sincerity
Oct 24, 2018 • 29 min
Phil and Lisa are back to discuss a trailer of a movie they haven’t seen — tough luck, Mary Poppins — and several movies they have. And Phil feuds with beloved Twitter philosopher Lin-Manuel Miranda. Movies Ruined: Mary Poppins Returns, Blade Runner 2049,…
34: Phil & Lisa Ruin Ramen
Mar 31, 2018 • 53 min
Phil and Lisa return, with a journey into the horrors of independent cinema, a brief rundown of movies you can watch on planes and the actors Phil can’t bear to watch (an abbreviated list). Movies Ruined: Death of Stalin, Flower, Unsane, Ghost Stories,…
33: Phil and Lisa Ruin Christopher Cross
Jan 18, 2018 • 58 min
In a shocking departure from their brand, Phil and Lisa stop talking about movie trailers to get real about Oscar-nominated songs from the 1980s. Is there singing in this episode? Not if you’re one of those busybodies from ASCAP, there’s not. Movies…
32: Phil And Lisa Ruin Star Wars
Dec 17, 2017 • 64 min
Phil and Lisa take on “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” in a spoilerific episode filled with your daily recommended allowance of Porgs. They also discuss popular blockbusters “Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool” and “Death of Stalin”, while shining some light on…
31: Phil And Lisa Ruin Extended Hiatuses
Nov 29, 2017 • 51 min
Phil and Lisa return to mull over the Wrinkle In Time trailer, talk about movies they saw on airplanes and figure out who this generation’s Peter O’Toole is. Also, can you name Pittsburgh’s three rivers, because we sure have trouble. And Mickey Mouse…
30: Phil and Lisa Ruin Replicants
Jul 19, 2017 • 54 min
In this episode we take on “Blade Runner 2049”, shake our heads at “Marvel’s Inhumans”, and sing a song of “Top Cat”. Plus, everyone’s favorite X-Man drops by for a visit. Movies Ruined: “Blade Runner 2049”, “Marvel’s Inhumans”, “Jumanji”, “The Greatest…
29: Phil and Lisa Ruin the Third Reich
Jun 23, 2017 • 55 min
We should be talking about trailers for “Black Panther”, “Flatliners” and “Only Living Boy in New York”, but Phil and Lisa have a bone to pick with Tom Cruise and “Valkyrie” first. Also: Songs we loved ruined by movies! And late 80s/early 90s pictures we…
28: Phil and Lisa Ruin Summer
Jun 12, 2017 • 55 min
Wonder Woman proved that someone can make a good DC movie. Justice League looks like someone doesn’t want to make a habit of that. But what other delights await you at the cineplex this summer? Movies Ruined: Wonder Woman, Justice League, Spiderman:…
27: Phil and Lisa Ruin Charlie Hunnam
Mar 7, 2017 • 60 min
It’s a very Charlie Hunnam episode as we look at the “King Arthur” and “Lost City of Z(ed)” trailers, followed up by “Boss Baby” and “Alien: Covenant.” One of those is about a parasitic lifeform who terrorizes a crew of humans; the other is about space…
26: Phil and Lisa Ruin the Super Bowl
Feb 7, 2017 • 45 min
While the rest of you were watching sportsball this weekend, Phil and Lisa paid extra-close attention to the many movie trailers that debuted during the big game. Their verdict? Stick to sports. Movies Ruined: The Road to Wellness, The Fate of the…
25: Phil and Lisa Ruin the Oscar Nominations
Jan 31, 2017 • 59 min
Instead of just complaining about trailers for movies they’ll never see, Phil and Lisa go next level to complain about award nominations for films they’ve not watched. Also, a haunting rendition of college fight songs. Movies Ruined: Dunkirk,…
24: Phil and Lisa Ruin Moana
Nov 29, 2016 • 46 min
Phil and Lisa share their thoughts on the latest Disney animated movie, skewer two upcoming releases from Pixar and Disney and tempt violent retribution from fans of Lin-Manuel Miranda and Mandy Patinkin. Movies Mentioned: Moana, Cars 3, Beauty & The…
23: Phil & Lisa Ruin Comic-Con
Jul 26, 2016 • 56 min
Excited about all the movies based on funny books that had people talking at Comic-Con this past weekend? Well, let Phil and Lisa sneer at your joy. But at least there’s a tender rendition of “It’s Raining Men” to put a song in your heart. Movies ruined:…
22: Donald Duck Learned His Trade in the Navy
Jul 12, 2016 • 51 min
Blake Lively battles a shark, and who wins? You do, America. Also, we return to some animated children’s movies and talk Pixar sequels, before Mickey Mouse stops by to wet his beak a little bit. And finally: Musicals!…
21: Phil and Lisa Ruin Your Childhood
Jun 23, 2016 • 56 min
The upcoming “Pete’s Dragon” remake sends Phil and Lisa on a trip down memory lane about the terrible Disney live-action pictures of their youth. Also, Lisa freaks out Phil about “The Rescuers,” and we assess the career of cinematic giant Tom Cruise.…
20: Phil and Lisa Ruin Sports Movies
Jun 6, 2016 • 59 min
Lisa talks up the terrible trailers she saw before watching Popstar, while Phil wonders why so many movies about sports icons are so very terrible. Also, Miles Teller gets renamed Ol’ Slappy. Plus, a pledge break! Movies Ruined: Magnificent Seven (2016),…
19: Phil & Lisa Ruin the Patriarchy
May 5, 2016 • 54 min
Bad Moms? More like Sad Moms once Lisa Schmeiser gets through ripping it. Also, Phil reminisces about fits of pique by Charlton Heston and Dennis Boutsikaris….
18: The Movies Ruin Phil and Lisa
Mar 14, 2016 • 47 min
Thanks to the generosity of a listener, Phil and Lisa watch “Burnt” and then resolve never to ask anything of listeners again….
17: Phil and Lisa Ruin Pratfalls
Mar 7, 2016 • 46 min
Maybe Melissa McCarthy should just skip this episode….
16: Snake Lady
Feb 15, 2016 • 42 min
Phil and Lisa ruin The Jungle Book and Gods of Egypt and hope against hope that Zoolander 2 and Hail Caesar will warm their curdled hearts….
15: Phil and Lisa Ruin Superheroes
Dec 25, 2015 • 46 min
Ruining “X-Men: Apocalypse”, “Suicide Squad”, and “Captain America: Civil War.”…
14: Team Whale
Oct 10, 2015 • 42 min
Phil and Lisa ruin “The Martian”, “Spectre”, “Jobs”, and “In the Heart of the Sea”….
13: Ridley Squat
Sep 12, 2015 • 41 min
Phil and Lisa ruin “The Finest Hours,” “Everest,” “The Martian,” and Kevin Costner’s career—or wait, maybe Kevin Costner did that last one himself….
12: Arguing for Epigenetic Inheritance
Aug 25, 2015 • 46 min
Phil and Lisa ruin “Jem and the Holograms” and “Ant-Man.”…
11: Phil and Lisa Hate America
Jul 5, 2015 • 36 min
Paul Rudd goes method and builds an ant farm….
10: Cereal Sommelier
Jun 30, 2015 • 39 min
Phil and Lisa ruin “Magic Mike XXL.”…
9: Phil Ruins the Age of Ultron
Jun 7, 2015 • 46 min
Superhero movies and old actors and tangents….
8: Some Days You Just Can’t Get Rid of a Bomb
Mar 22, 2015 • 39 min
Phil and Lisa ruin Batman movies, Batman TV shows, plus other superhero things….
7: Phil and Lisa Ruin the 2015 Oscars
Feb 17, 2015 • 42 min
Phil hasn’t seen any of the Oscar nominees, because he hates watching movies with other people. Lisa has seen a few. But that isn’t going to stop them from ruining all the Oscar nominees. They’d ruin the Oscars themselves, but the Academy seems to have…
6: Oprah Wrestles an Ocelot
Dec 20, 2014 • 37 min
In this issue, Phil and Lisa talk about “Into the Woods,” based on the musical. Phil is a big musical theater fan, and enjoys Sondheim, so this puts him in a difficult position. Plus, the presidents sing “Annie.”…
5: Hallmark Holiday
Dec 16, 2014 • 30 min
Phil and Lisa ruin Christmas with their critiques of holiday movies from the Hallmark channel….
4: The Safety Word is Garlic
Nov 28, 2014 • 33 min
Phil and Lisa refuse to ruin “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” because they refuse to acknowledge teaser trailers, but… they still spend 10 minutes talking about it. Then they ruin “50 Shades of Gray.” Lisa explains to Phil that the book started as…
3: Macking on the Triceratops
Nov 25, 2014 • 31 min
Phil and Lisa ruin “Jurassic World,” a movie nobody’s even seen! Also fantasy casting a “Day the Clown Cried” remake. Phil recalls women soccer players while Lisa admits to being a dinosaur nerd. Then Lisa uses her biology and business knowledge to debunk…
2: Sir, It’s Burlesque
Aug 29, 2014 • 28 min
Phil and Lisa ruin “Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For” and “Lucy.” Also: the original “Sin City,” “V” the miniseries, the politics of Latveria, “Dark Angel,” Walter the muppet, “Rock of Ages,” “The Last Starfighter,” “She’s Crafty,” Peanuts, Orson Welles,…
1: Purge Insurance
Jul 17, 2014 • 20 min
Philip Michaels and Lisa Schmeiser have spent hours speculating on the details of the movie “The Purge.” On the special occasion of the release of the sequel film, “The Purge: Anarchy,” we bring you a discussion about the logic of “The Purge” from two…