Wolf 359

Wolf 359

www.wolf359.fm
A bi-monthly radio show about the advantages of floating, tiny and alone, in the middle of nowhere.


Zero Hours: A New Series From The Wolf 359 Crew
Oct 21, 2019 • 38 min
Hello Dear Listeners! We’re re-activating the Wolf 359 feed for a very special announcement from the man of a thousand voices, Zach Valenti himself. The creative team behind Wolf 359 has just released a brand-new audio drama anthology series called Zero…
Mini Episode: Space Rage
Dec 24, 2018 • 4 min
Faced with yet another affront to his dignity, Communications Officer Eiffel expresses his frustrations the only way he knows how - through the miracle of radio. Written by Zach Valenti, Sarah Shachat, and Gabriel Urbina. Directed by Gabriel Urbina.…
Mini Episode: Step One
Dec 24, 2018 • 5 min
Forced to deal with the unique challenge of figuring out how to put on a space suit, Communications Officer Eiffel does his best to break it down into small, manageable steps. Written by Zach Valenti, Sarah Shachat, and Gabriel Urbina. Directed by Gabriel…
Mini Episode: Adventure of a Lifetime
Dec 24, 2018 • 4 min
Communications Officer Eiffel explores the far reaches of the Hephaestus, and goes on a journey like no other. Written by Zach Valenti, Sarah Shachat, and Gabriel Urbina. Directed by Gabriel Urbina. Performed by Zach Valenti. Original music by Alan Rodi.…
Special Announcement: Pryce and Carter’s DSSPPM and Three New Mini Episodes!
Dec 24, 2018 • 2 min
It’s been one year since the release of our finale episode! To commemorate the occasion, we are finally releasing the full version of Pryce and Carter’s Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual, as well as three new mini episodes. Happy Holidays!
One Year Later… What Has the Wolf 359 Team Been Up To?
Nov 14, 2018 • 10 min
Fire up the old podcasting apps, and join Doug Eiffel himself, Zach Valenti, for a whirlwind update on what some of the cast and crew have been up to this year.
Episode 61: Brave New World
Dec 25, 2017 • 129 min
Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence and the use of firearms. Listener discretion is advised. Our finale episode. Faced with a choice between finally going home and stopping Pryce and Cutter’s master plan, the crew of the…
One Last Thing Before the Finale…
Dec 25, 2017 • 3 min
Before you dive into our finale episode, one last quick announcement from the show’s producers. Thank you to everyone for three and a half amazing years!
Mission Mishaps: Happy Holidays
Dec 24, 2017 • 11 min
Mission Mishaps, entry eight. SI-5 surveillance log. Entry #CRT004. Maxwell and Jacobi try to talk their way out of a mandatory assignment.
Special Episode - Volte Face
Dec 21, 2017 • 58 min
Investigative reporter Andrea Nash is having a very good day. She’s flown halfway around the world on a very special assignment: an exclusive interview with Marcus Cutter, the infamous Director of Communications for Goddard Futuristics.
Episode 60: Terms and Conditions
Dec 12, 2017 • 46 min
Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains instances of violence and use of firearms. Listener discretion is advised. With the wayward pod successfully recovered but Doctor Pryce still in the hands of the rebellious crew, Cutter must find a way…
Mission Mishaps: No Complaints
Dec 6, 2017 • 11 min
Mission Mishaps, entry seven. SI-5 surveillance log. Entry #FRD916. Kepler and Jacobi try to keep themselves entertained during a stakeout.
Episode 59: Crash and Burn
Nov 30, 2017 • 36 min
Trapped with Kepler and Pryce on board a jettisoned pod from the Sol, Eiffel and Minkowski must find a way to avoid all manner of imminent death. Before too long, a delicate truce has been struck, as both sides try to find a way out of their predicament.
Mission Mishaps: Cold Turkey
Nov 21, 2017 • 13 min
Mission Mishaps, Entry Six. Hephaestus Log #TRK536. Day 553. Eiffel takes the lead on cooking dinner for the crew’s second Thanksgiving on the Hephaestus.
Episode 58: Quiet, Please
Nov 14, 2017 • 36 min
Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains instances of violence and body horror. Listener discretion is advised. Having freed themselves from Pryce’s mind control, Eiffel, Minkowski, Hera, Lovelace, and Jacobi need to come up with a plan for how…
Mission Mishaps: Lights Out
Nov 8, 2017 • 12 min
Mission Mishaps, Entry Five. Hephaestus Log #WYL320. Day four hundred and eighty-seven. Eiffel reads scary stories and hears something in the dark.
Episode 57: The Devil’s Plaything
Nov 4, 2017 • 34 min
Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised. Part two of two. Newly released from Pryce’s mental control, Eiffel works with Lovelace and Hera to try to save the rest of the crew. But as the situation…
Episode 56: Idle Hands
Nov 1, 2017 • 40 min
Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains disturbing content. Listener discretion is advised. Part one of two. With the crew brainwashed into doing their bidding and Hera forced to comply with her creator’s wishes, Pryce and Cutter seem to be in…
Mission Mishaps: The Veldt
Oct 28, 2017 • 8 min
Mission Mishaps, entry four. Hephaestus Log #NOL858. Day 411.
Mission Mishaps: You Want, I Solve
Oct 12, 2017 • 10 min
Mission Mishaps, entry three. Hephaestus Log #WME389. Day three-hundred and seventy-two. Eiffel encounters a stowaway.
Episode 55: A Place For Everything
Oct 3, 2017 • 39 min
When Minkowski and the crew make contact with Command agents en route to the Hephaestus, the team must make some very difficult decisions about how to handle this new threat.
Mission Mishaps: The Space You’re In
Sep 26, 2017 • 12 min
Mission Mishaps, Entry Two. Hephaestus Mission Log #KWE824. Day 202. Eiffel tries to avoid his daily chores around the station.
Episode 54: The Watchtower
Sep 18, 2017 • 44 min
Slowly floating towards Wolf 359, untethered and separated from everyone else on the crew, Officer Eiffel tries a radical approach to solving the aliens’ riddle.
Mission Mishaps: A Little Night Music
Sep 12, 2017 • 15 min
Mission Mishaps, Entry One. Hephaestus Formal Complaint #ARB062. Day 510. Eiffel tries to boost the crew’s morale with a bit of sonic artistry appreciation.
Episode 53: Dirty Work
Sep 4, 2017 • 43 min
When Eiffel picks up signs of a transmission from deep space just hours before Hera’s scheduled to go through an internal reset, the crew is divided on whether he should attempt to pursue it or not.
Episode 52: Constructive Criticism
Aug 22, 2017 • 32 min
Quarantined in Hilbert’s old lab while Hera fixes a dangerous gas leak, the crew and their prisoners resort to increasingly desperate means to stave off boredom.
Episode 51: Shut Up and Listen
Aug 8, 2017 • 40 min
Space Monkey Radio proudly presents U.F.Overview: a new series that offers in-depth analysis on the possibility of alien contact, and explores the complex realities of communicating with non-terrestrial beings.
Episode 50: The Hiccups Method
Jul 25, 2017 • 35 min
It’s been a few weeks since the crew aborted repairs on the Urania, and they are no closer to figuring out how to satisfy the aliens’ mysterious demands. If only they had someone on board who shared some sort of connection with these beings…
Episode 49: Out of the Loop
Jul 11, 2017 • 39 min
With the end of the Urania’s repairs in sight, the crew is throwing all their energy into one final push. But as the finish line inches closer, Captain Lovelace begins to notice something strange.
Episode 48: Theta Scenario
Jun 26, 2017 • 36 min
As Eiffel, Minkowski, Hera, and Lovelace try to decide how to allocate their limited resources, Kepler finally reveals some of Goddard Futuristics’s most deeply held secrets.
Mini Episode 14: One of Them
Jun 19, 2017 • 7 min
Eiffel and Minkowski listen in on a tense discussion.
Episode 47: Into the Depths
Jun 12, 2017 • 44 min
The crew of the Hephaestus’s day just got a whole lot worse. It’s going to take everything the team has to weather the stellar flare, deal with the two enemy prisoners in their midst, and come to grips with what’s happened to Captain Lovelace.
Special Episode: Change of Mind
Jun 9, 2017 • 128 min
Lovelace, Lambert, and the rest of the original Hephaestus crew must come together if they hope to make it through the longest, strangest, and most dangerous day of their expedition so far.
Episode 46: Boléro
Dec 25, 2016 • 36 min
As Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera reel from the results of their mutiny, it soon becomes clear that even worse dangers might be right around the corner.
Episode 45: Desperate Measures
Dec 12, 2016 • 36 min
Part two of two. The crew desperately tries to salvage their mutiny and escape the wrath of the SI-5.
Episode 44: Desperate Times
Dec 6, 2016 • 35 min
Part one of two. Still reeling from recent revelations, the crew plans to neutralize Colonel Kepler and the SI-5.
Episode 43: Persuasion
Nov 22, 2016 • 36 min
With just over a day left before the long-anticipated alien contact event, the crew works to get the Hephaestus ready for anything that might happen.
Episode 42: Time to Kill
Oct 31, 2016 • 34 min
In order to better study the properties of an incoming solar storm, Eiffel, Lovelace, Jacobi, and Maxwell are assigned to collect data on board a small experimental module.
Episode 41: Memoria
Oct 19, 2016 • 41 min
With Hera out of commission, Doctor Maxwell attempts a difficult reconstructive procedure on the unresponsive autopilot program.
Episode 40: Limbo
Oct 3, 2016 • 35 min
While most of the crew tries to enjoy a rare moment of downtime, Doctor Maxwell discovers some previously undetected flaws in the station’s systems.
Episode 39: All Things Considered
Sep 19, 2016 • 27 min
After a technical mishap causes Jacobi’s latest experimental gizmo to discharge within the Urania, a furious Colonel Kepler assembles everyone who was involved, hell bent on determining which of his underlings is at fault.
Episode 38: Happy Endings
Sep 4, 2016 • 36 min
Preparations are underway to deal with the next contact anomaly from Wolf 359. But the old crew of the Hephaestus is still unsure what preparations they should make to deal with Colonel Kepler and his team, and the divide in strategies is only getting sha
Mini Episode 13: Kansas
Aug 29, 2016 • 10 min
Captain Warren Kepler undergoes an evaluation.
Mini Episode 12: Pagliacci
Aug 22, 2016 • 10 min
Communications Specialist Douglas Eiffel considers consequences and responsibilities.
Mini Episode 11: Decommissioned
Aug 14, 2016 • 10 min
Unit 214 is given a second chance to prove her value as a company asset.
Mini Episode 10: Things That Break Other Things
Aug 8, 2016 • 10 min
Daniel Jacobi celebrates an anniversary.
Mini Episode 9: Greensboro
Aug 1, 2016 • 10 min
Air Force Captain Isabel Lovelace faces an unexpected test.
Mini Episode 8: Language Mapping
Jul 25, 2016 • 10 min
Doctor Alana Maxwell tries to solve an irritating problem.
Mini Episode 7: Rebranding
Jul 18, 2016 • 10 min
Doctor Dmitri Volodin gets a visit from a man who wants to know more about his experimental research.
Mini Episode 6: Once In a Lifetime
Jul 10, 2016 • 13 min
Air Force Lieutenant Renée Minkowski considers an unusual opportunity.
Episode 37: Overture
Jun 28, 2016 • 33 min
When the Hephaestus is hit by an unexpected series of stellar flares and the strongest musical transmission to date, the crew might finally be able to get some hard data on the origin of the deep space signals.
Episode 36: Fire and Brimstone
Jun 13, 2016 • 29 min
An accident leaves Dr. Maxwell in imminent danger and the entire station in a state of emergency.
Episode 35: Need to Know
May 30, 2016 • 32 min
When a technical glitch gives Minkowski, Lovelace, Hera, Jacobi, and Maxwell a chance to peak behind the curtain, they soon discover they might be in over their heads.
Mini Episode 5: Long Story Short
May 28, 2016 • 4 min
Jacobi reflects on his relationship with Colonel Kepler.
Episode 34: A Matter of Perspective
May 17, 2016 • 33 min
When the Urania’s radio picks up and loses the first deep space signal in months, Colonel Kepler puts everyone on high alert.
Episode 33: Don’t Poke the Bear
Apr 27, 2016 • 30 min
Seeking to prevent another unforeseen Decima outbreak, Eiffel and Hilbert run tests to determine the status of the virus inside the Communication Officer’s body.
Episode 32: Controlled Demolition
Apr 11, 2016 • 27 min
As the SI-5 tightens its grip on the Hephaestus, Colonel Kepler decides to run a comprehensive job review.
Wolf 359 Live: Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol
Mar 31, 2016 • 64 min
Recorded Live at the Alchemical Theatre Laboratory in New York City ! It’s been a rough few months for Communications Officer Eiffel, but he’s about to face his biggest challenge yet.
Mini Episode 4: Meanwhile
Mar 27, 2016 • 6 min
An important message prompts additional resources to be uncovered for the Hephaestus Mission.
Episode 31: Sécurité
Mar 14, 2016 • 27 min
Sécurité. (noun) An international radio signal, used to convey messages concerning safety of navigation or important warnings.
Episode 30: Mayday
Feb 29, 2016 • 29 min
Mayday. (noun) An international radio distress signal, used to signify a state of emergency on board a craft.
Episode 29: Pan-Pan
Feb 13, 2016 • 34 min
Pan-Pan. (noun) An international radio distress signal, used to signify a state of urgency on board a craft.
Episode 28: Who’s There?
Nov 23, 2015 • 21 min
Part two of two. Faced with a new obstacle, the crew struggles to navigate all of Wolf 359’s sudden changes.
Episode 27: Knock, Knock
Nov 9, 2015 • 23 min
Part one of two. The Hephaestus is thrust into a maelstrom in the wake of Wolf 359’s sudden, violent change.
Episode 26: Do No Harm
Oct 26, 2015 • 23 min
With Eiffel in critical condition, Minkowski, Hilbert, and Lovelace are forced to put their differences on hold.
Episode 25: Lame-O Superhero Origin Story
Oct 5, 2015 • 25 min
Forced to work together, Eiffel and Hilbert try to find some middle ground as they adjust the Hephaestus’ systems.
Mini Episode 3: Variations on a Theme
Oct 5, 2015 • 9 min
Captain Lovelace goes forwards and backwards in time.
Episode 24: Tactical Brain Damage
Sep 21, 2015 • 24 min
Now armed with a plan, the crew begins putting their elaborate deception in motion.
Episode 23: No Pressure
Sep 6, 2015 • 22 min
Ten days after the reappearance of Captain Lovelace, the crew works around the clock to get the various systems on her shuttle up and running.
Mini Episode 2: Day One
Jul 4, 2015 • 6 min
From the Goddard Futuristics Archives, File #A7NB566. Communications Officer Log on Day 1 of the Hephaestus Project.
Episode 22: Mutually Assured Destruction
Jun 9, 2015 • 30 min
The crew is shocked by the sudden reappearance of Captain Lovelace. At first relieved to have another ally on board the Hephaestus, Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera soon grow suspicious of the station’s former commanding officer.
Episode 21: Minkowski Commanding
May 27, 2015 • 24 min
Following the Plant Monster’s reappearance, Minkowski makes it her mission to eliminate the mutant stowaway once and for all.
Episode 20: The Paranoia Game
May 12, 2015 • 22 min
Against Minkowski’s better judgment, Eiffel decides to use Hilbert’s mechanical skills to repair a faulty system in the station’s optical network.
Episode 19: Let’s Kill Hilbert
Apr 27, 2015 • 22 min
Tensions run high when the crew revisits the issue of how to handle Doctor Hilbert’s continued presence on board the Hephaestus.
Episode 18: Happy To Be Of Assistance
Apr 14, 2015 • 23 min
An unscheduled emergency air vent leaves Eiffel and Minkowski stranded in the station’s hidden laboratory.
Episode 17: Bach to the Future
Mar 27, 2015 • 27 min
After weeks in a state of emergency, Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera are faced with an unexpected challenge: staving off boredom during an uneventful night on the Hephaestus.
Episode 16: Painfully Ever After
Mar 13, 2015 • 21 min
Still dealing with the fallout from Hera’s deactivation, the crew struggles to keep the rapidly deteriorating Hephaestus functional.
Episode 15: What’s Up, Doc?
Feb 27, 2015 • 25 min
Still rattled by their recent discoveries, Eiffel and Minkowski try to force Hilbert to reveal what he knows about the Hephaestus’s mysteries and the details of his secret mission.
Episode 14: The Kumbaya Approach
Feb 14, 2015 • 24 min
Unsure of who or what to trust after the events at Christmas, Eiffel and Minkowski make contact with Mr. Cutter, their liaison to Goddard Futuristics and the mission’s direct supervisor.
Episode 13: Gas Me Twice
Dec 25, 2014 • 19 min
Part two of two. The repercussions of the crew’s discovery and Dr. Hilbert’s actions continue to disrupt the station’s Christmas plans.
Episode 12: Deep Breaths
Dec 24, 2014 • 19 min
Part one of two. It’s Christmas Day on the Hephaestus. While Minkowski does her best to approximate a traditional holiday dinner, Eiffel decides he’s going to try to smoke his last cigarette.
Episode 11: Am I Alone Now?
Dec 12, 2014 • 24 min
In a set of short stories, we get to see what the Hephaestus crew does when they are by themselves.
Episode 10: Extreme Danger Bug
Nov 27, 2014 • 21 min
Eiffel decides that he wants to step up his game and play a more active role in documenting life on the Hephaestus. His newfound enthusiasm is soon tested when an unscheduled explosion puts a hole in one of the station’s walls.
Episode 9: The Empty Man Cometh
Nov 14, 2014 • 20 min
As the Hephaestus begins a hazardous passage through an ion wind cluster, Eiffel is surprised to discover a message from the mission higher-ups waiting for him in the Communications Room.
Episode 8: Box 953
Oct 31, 2014 • 23 min
In accordance with protocol and the need to maintain crew morale, Minkowski insists on holding another of her infamous talent shows. Both Eiffel and Hilbert come up with schemes to weasel their way out of having to participate.
Mini Episode 1: Are Space Suits Itchy?
Oct 23, 2014 • 5 min
Eiffel takes some time from his busy schedule to answer third graders’ questions.
Episode 7: The Sound and the Fury
Oct 9, 2014 • 17 min
When Minkowski and Hera get into a fight, Eiffel decides to stay out of the way until the dust settles. But when the mutant plant stowaway gains control of Doctor Hilbert’s mind, it soon becomes clear that the crew has an emergency on their hands.
Episode 6: Super Energy Saver Mode
Sep 26, 2014 • 16 min
The Hephaestus Mission reaches its 500th day since launch, and Eiffel is determined to make the most of the occasion. His celebration is cut short, however, when a power outage knocks out Hera and all of the station’s automated systems.
Episode 5: Cigarette Candy
Sep 12, 2014 • 19 min
A mysterious illness strikes Eiffel, quickly leaving him out of commission and bedridden. It falls on Dr. Hilbert’s medical expertise to find some way to get the Communications Officer back to full health.
Episode 4: Cataracts and Hurricanoes
Aug 29, 2014 • 16 min
Eiffel takes a quick trip to the exterior of the Hephaestus in pursuit of a cleaner reading of one of the mysterious space transmissions. Things seem to be going well – until an unexpected stellar flare leaves Eiffel stranded outside of the station.
Episode 3: Discomforts, Pains, and Irregularities
Aug 15, 2014 • 16 min
The time arrives for another one of Dr. Hilbert’s infamous biannual physical and wellness checks, causing Eiffel and Minkowski to descend into a state of panic. With life and limb on the line, they each find creative ways to delay the inevitable.
Episode 2: Little Revolución
Aug 15, 2014 • 17 min
When Eiffel discovers that there’s only one tube of toothpaste remaining on board the Hephaestus, he realizes that a delicate situation is upon the crew. His solution? Steal the toothpaste, barricade the door to the comms room, and hope for the best.
Episode 1: Succulent Rat-Killing Tar
Aug 15, 2014 • 17 min
Our premiere episode. When his instruments start picking up a weird signal from the depths of space, Communications Officer Eiffel begins to wonder if he’s found evidence of alien life.