No Such Thing As A Fish

No Such Thing As A Fish

audioboom.com/channel/nosuchthingasafish
A podcast from the QI offices in which the writers of the hit BBC show huddle around a microphone and discuss the best things they’ve found out this week. Hosted by Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland) with James Harkin (@jamesharkin), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), and Anna Ptaszynski (#GetAnnaOnTwitter)


328: No Such Thing As A Romantic Lollipop
Jul 3 • 59 min
327: No Such Thing As A SCUBA Diver In A Tree
Jun 26 • 54 min
No Such Thing As The iSausage
Jun 22 • 61 min
326: No Such Thing As an Infortunate Occurrence
Jun 19 • 55 min
325: No Such Thing as an Earwig Family Zoom Chat
Jun 12 • 55 min
324: Episode 324: No Such Thing As Mambo No. 2
Jun 5 • 50 min
323: No Such Thing As Floating Vaseline
May 29 • 58 min
322: No Such Thing As A Crown Of Willie Thornes
May 22 • 60 min
321: No Such Thing As A Frothy Beer
May 15 • 52 min
320: No Such Thing As A Hairy Gearstick
May 8 • 50 min
319: No Such Thing As 19th Century Feudal Japanese Monopoly
May 1 • 58 min
318: No Such Thing As ‘Of Quails and Men’
Apr 24 • 57 min
317: No Such Thing As Panic Buying Frankincense
Apr 17 • 61 min
316: No Such Thing As a Leg Made from Milk
Apr 10 • 44 min
315: No Such Thing As Tedious Moss
Apr 3 • 52 min
314: No Such Thing As A Tiny Ferris Wheel
Mar 27 • 52 min
313: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Coconut
Mar 20 • 58 min
312: No Such Thing As Quentin Tarantino’s Bambi
Mar 13 • 51 min
311: No Such Thing As A Michelangel-ogram
Mar 6 • 53 min
310: No Such Thing As A Mungmonger
Feb 28 • 52 min
309: No Such Thing As The Best Bubble
Feb 21 • 51 min
308: No Such Thing As The Land Of Flying Sheep
Feb 14 • 44 min
307: No Such Thing As EastEnders, The Opera
Feb 7 • 49 min
306: No Such Thing As Heavy Snuggle-Pupping
Jan 31 • 50 min
305: No Such Thing As A Sentient Jelly
Jan 24 • 43 min
304: No Such Thing As A Phantasmic Foot
Jan 17 • 53 min
303: No Such Thing As Suckling’s Column
Jan 10 • 57 min
302: No Such Thing As A Hedgehog Circus
Jan 3 • 84 min
Audiobook Of The Year 2019 Preview
Dec 27, 2019 • 31 min
301: No Such Thing As The Queen’s Christmas Burlesque
Dec 25, 2019 • 51 min
300: No Such Thing As Swimming In The Sky
Dec 20, 2019 • 63 min
299: No Such Thing As A Conscientious Brunette
Dec 13, 2019 • 58 min
298: No Such Thing As An Emotional Support Amoeba
Dec 6, 2019 • 53 min
297: No Such Thing As A Shrimp Conga
Nov 29, 2019 • 46 min
296: No Such Thing As A Glowing Ballet Dancer
Nov 22, 2019 • 50 min
295: No Such Thing As A 200m Baguette
Nov 15, 2019 • 45 min
294: No Such Thing As A 15-Hour Working Week
Nov 8, 2019 • 57 min
293: No Such Thing As A Sexy Ceiling Fan
Nov 1, 2019 • 57 min
292: No Such Thing as a Blatant Plug for the Book of the Year 2019
Oct 24, 2019 • 57 min
291: No Such Thing As A Quintruple-Cooked Chip
Oct 18, 2019 • 58 min
290: No Such Thing As A Winter Fax Machine
Oct 11, 2019 • 60 min
289: No Such Thing As A Horse Called Brian
Oct 4, 2019 • 50 min
288: No Such Thing As An Elephant In The Airport
Sep 27, 2019 • 52 min
287: No Such Thing As Pets In Heaven
Sep 20, 2019 • 46 min
286: No Such Thing As A Banana With Wifi
Sep 13, 2019 • 42 min
285: No Such Thing As Giving Birth Up A Climbing Wall
Sep 6, 2019 • 52 min
284: No Such Thing As Salty Yeti Bones
Aug 30, 2019 • 44 min
283: No Such Thing As A Lost Shadow
Aug 23, 2019 • 44 min
282: No Such Thing As A Bored Shrew
Aug 16, 2019 • 43 min
281: No Such Thing As A Chatty Cow
Aug 9, 2019 • 43 min
280: No Such Thing As Permanently Latvian Beer
Aug 2, 2019 • 44 min
279: No Such Thing As A Backflipping Doctor
Jul 26, 2019 • 43 min
278: No Such Thing As A Herring-Okapi Hybrid
Jul 19, 2019 • 52 min
277: No Such Thing As An Elephant Polo Rider In A Sombrero
Jul 12, 2019 • 40 min
Swedish cyborgs, swimming pools for horses, and self-destructing Game Of Thrones scripts.
276: No Such Thing As A Ninja With A Cat
Jul 5, 2019 • 41 min
275: No Such Thing As A Squashed Microbe
Jun 28, 2019 • 51 min
274: No Such Thing As A Polite Baby
Jun 21, 2019 • 44 min
273: No Such Thing As A Scuba Diver Covered With Meat
Jun 14, 2019 • 40 min
272: No Such Thing As A Non-Judgemental Herring
Jun 7, 2019 • 45 min
271: No Such Thing As A Safe Robot
May 31, 2019 • 39 min
270: No Such Thing As BIG SHERLOCK HOLMES
May 24, 2019 • 43 min
269: No Such Thing As Singing The Sport
May 17, 2019 • 39 min
Live from Salford, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss canine height restrictions, finch bite quotients, and the Manchester Of The East.
268: No Such Thing As Welsh Guinness
May 10, 2019 • 48 min
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss miniature miniature trains, bees in mourning, and unholy transplants.
267: No Such Thing As Mission Impossible For Slugs
May 3, 2019 • 38 min
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss superglued frogs, how to get into an Ancient Turkish house, and the Oscar won by nobody.
266: No Such Thing As An Innocent Pisces Sign
Apr 26, 2019 • 42 min
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Comic Sans engravings, nut products with no nuts, and transient jellyfish anuses.
265: No Such Thing As A Hole In The Bowl
Apr 19, 2019 • 41 min
Live from Redruth, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Disney-themed punishment, grandfather clocks, and George Eliot’s massive right hand.
264: No Such Thing As Bikes In Space
Apr 12, 2019 • 36 min
Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things to say.
263: No Such Thing As Millipede Lipbalm
Apr 5, 2019 • 38 min
262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine Bottle
Mar 29, 2019 • 39 min
Live from the Eventim Apollo in Hammersmith, Dan, James. Anna and Andy discuss time-travelling swordfish, the actor who reviewed his own plays, and Waddington’s cattle semen trading board game.
261: No Such Thing As A Chocolate Train
Mar 22, 2019 • 39 min
Live from Uffculme, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chocolate gramophones, licking your own forehead and Icelandic sheep dating.
260: No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage
Mar 15, 2019 • 35 min
Live from Aberdeen, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the banning of sliced bread, broken turtle penises and muscly bums.Episode 260 - No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage
259: No Such Thing As Flyagra
Mar 8, 2019 • 40 min
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss fly dating, 69ing on American roadways, and predicting the future with asparagus
258: No Such Thing As A Brutally Honest Yoga Mat
Mar 1, 2019 • 47 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss plumbing detectives, guinea pigs in the freezer, and the Head of Cybersecurity who’s never used a computer.
257: No Such Thing As A Squilkman
Feb 22, 2019 • 39 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss kissing hedgehogs, the time on Saturn, and competitive ploughing.
256: No Such Thing As A Puddle Photographer
Feb 15, 2019 • 43 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss flirty cuttlefish, rooster beer and the best weather for starting a business.
255: No Such Thing as a Bouncy Asteroid
Feb 8, 2019 • 46 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss skimming meteors, snowy bacteria, and incorrectly formatted declarations of war.
254: No Such Thing As A Toilet In The Car
Feb 1, 2019 • 38 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss gingerbread in the toilet, the invention of wing mirrors, and silent movie bags.
253: No Such Thing As Dolphins At The United Nations
Jan 25, 2019 • 45 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss talking NASA dolphins, Robert Louis Stevenson’s death and how any parents have a favourite child.
252: No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth Fairy
Jan 18, 2019 • 43 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss baby sharks, bankrupt lottery winners, and the city where the streets are paved with used toilet paper.
251: No Such Thing As An Accidental George
Jan 11, 2019 • 46 min
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss undercover restaurant reviewers, weightlifting cockroaches, and what to pack for a trip on the Orient Express.
250: No Such Thing As The Mysterious Chamber
Jan 4, 2019 • 45 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss demolishing the Great Pyramid of Giza, with the WWF logo is a panda, and psychopathic teenage angst.
249: No Such Thing As A Pint Of Wine
Dec 28, 2018 • 37 min
A compilation of the best deleted bits from the last year of Fish. Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas from Dan, James, Anna and Andy
Dec 25, 2018 • 42 min
248: No Such Thing As The Shatner Bunny
Dec 21, 2018 • 49 min
Live from Union Chapel, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world’s oldest krill, the £20 million bed, and the Christmas decorations that go up in September.
247: No Such Thing As Footprints On The Sea
Dec 14, 2018 • 46 min
Anna, James, Andy and Ed discuss whistling oysters, Captain Cook’s goat, and King Lear’s happy ending.
246: No Such Thing As The Worm Revolution
Dec 7, 2018 • 52 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Royal Anagrammist, the man from M.O.U.L.D, and Darwin’s publisher’s not-so-helpful notes.
245: No Such Thing As The Very Sexy Caterpillar
Nov 30, 2018 • 41 min
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force made up of criminals, why mice walk so loudly, and the world’s first crossword.
244: No Such Thing As A Fishman
Nov 23, 2018 • 76 min
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Stephen Fry discuss frogs with regional accents, Canada’s official tagline, and streaking in museums.
243: No Such Thing As Jean-Paul Sartre’s Crabs
Nov 16, 2018 • 55 min
Live from the Union Chapel in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail backpacks, the band from space, and Alexander Graham Bell’s talking dog.
242: No Such Thing As The Ancient Monty Python Dynasty
Nov 9, 2018 • 55 min
Live from York, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss scaring moths out of the sky, Sir Walter Raleigh’s improv act, and why a robot would say ‘poop’.
241: No Such Thing As Tom Cruise In A Manger
Nov 1, 2018 • 51 min
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Nativity with celebrities, giraffes with asthma, and chucking hospital patients into a bush.
240: No Such Thing As An Easy Tweet
Oct 26, 2018 • 57 min
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Maxïmo Park frontman Paul Smith discuss banned bananas, earthquake-sensing belts, and the Great Lost Massive Toilet Of London.
239: No Such Thing As The Queen Maaaaaaary
Oct 19, 2018 • 38 min
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss why wombats have the best bums, how to build an extension on a cruise liner and Who Do You Think You Are?’s rejected celebrities.
238: No Such Thing As A Low Sofa
Oct 12, 2018 • 41 min
Dan, Andy, Anna and Anne discuss the world’s worst poetry recital, where all the world’s hazelnuts go, and the first ever advert on Channel 5.
237: No Such Thing As A Closed-Minded Tortoise
Oct 5, 2018 • 45 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facial recognition for chickens, the whales older than Moby Dick, and the European Space Agency’s rockin’ sound system.
236: No Such Thing As A Brie Sculpture
Sep 28, 2018 • 48 min
Anna, James, Andy and special guest Alex Edelman discuss illegal canoe practices, the funniest poo joke in history and Henry VIII’s favourite pudding.
235: No Such Thing As Trousers For Spiders
Sep 21, 2018 • 45 min
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to make spiders less scary, the oldest message in a bottle, and unusual features of the Mastermind chair.
234: No Such Thing As The Lemur Police
Sep 14, 2018 • 51 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss earwax grubs, armadillo sex and selfies with sunflowers.
233: No Such Thing As A Sexy Question Mark
Sep 7, 2018 • 55 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Beefeaters’ birthdays, Roman ice and metal umlauts.
232: No Such Thing As A Seven Foot Bond
Aug 31, 2018 • 40 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spiders with eyeliner, biblical teeth gnashing, and the sumo wrestler with silicone in his scalp.
231: No Such Thing As A 24-Minute Podcast
Aug 24, 2018 • 27 min
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss the first ever stripper to jump out of a cake, the Queen of Sweden’s business cards, and why holding your breath underwater is cheating.
230: No Such Thing As Tinder For Sloths
Aug 17, 2018 • 39 min
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how the Macarena could save your life, the secret penis code in the Bayeux Tapestry, and the one thing more painful than childbirth (for sloths).
229: No Such Thing As The Great Modesto
Aug 10, 2018 • 42 min
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss gold in the sewers, Robert Burn’s homemade ink, and why Sweden’s highest point isn’t any more.
228: No Such Thing As Seatbelts On Your Sofa
Aug 3, 2018 • 34 min
Not live and not from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss indoor hot air balloon shows, McBaseball and what you’ll find inside a giraffe’s armpit.
227: No Such Thing As A More Ambitious Crossover Event In History
Jul 27, 2018 • 52 min
Live (partly at least) from the Wellington Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how to birth a lamb, the most niche Netflix categories, and Elton John’s travel arrangements.
226: No Such Thing As A Turtle Painting The Ceiling
Jul 20, 2018 • 49 min
Live from Auckland, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss painting pants on portraits, why Moscow’s politicians don’t kiss each other, and how often men really think about sex.
225: No Such Thing As An Interesting Riddle
Jul 13, 2018 • 51 min
Live from the Sydney Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss BBC stock orgies, being buried with a chicken and why you might cycle the Olympic marathon.
224: No Such Thing As Mixed-Species Martial Arts
Jul 6, 2018 • 47 min
Live from Brisbane, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spider wrestling, policemen dressed as statues, and Ozzy Osbourne’s no-so-last tour.
223: No Such Thing As A Worthless Doorstop
Jun 29, 2018 • 43 min
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss death by meteorite, the Manhatt-ant and the downhill history of the slinky.
222: No Such Thing As A Warmongering Pigeon
Jun 22, 2018 • 44 min
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss superloud fish sex, taxiing to a war zone and why these facts probably aren’t true.
221: No Such Thing As A Fully Carpeted Country
Jun 14, 2018 • 36 min
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Alan Davies discuss the street value of football sticker albums, anti-diving shin pads and instructional chat-up pamphlets for Argentinian footballers.
220: No Such Thing As A Million Dots
Jun 8, 2018 • 47 min
Anna, James, Andy and other James discuss bouliganism, flying on Titan, and tiny, tiny wasps.Episode 220 - No Such Thing As A Million Dots
219: No Such Thing As Jeremiah Wingdings
Jun 1, 2018 • 46 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cosmetic surgery for Fish, how to get the edge in the Tour de France, and competitive typesetting.
218: No Such Thing As Tennis On The Moon
May 25, 2018 • 58 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cavemen living on the moon, Victorian reaction times, and the mystery of The Mystery Of Edwin Drood.
217: No Such Thing As A Trapezium-Shaped Hankie
May 18, 2018 • 40 min
Live from Liverpool, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss bob.com, how to eat an avocado, and what the Ancient Greeks used for toilet paper.
216: No Such Thing As A Lobster War
May 11, 2018 • 39 min
Live from Perth, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the most annoying man in history, the regretful inventor of the Australian labradoodle, and how lobsters nearly started a war.
215: No Such Thing As A Chihuahua Dog Sled Team
May 4, 2018 • 48 min
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the monumental conception of Victor Hugo, when North Korea is the safest place to be, and why you should bring 600 pairs of shoes to a dog sled race.
214: No Such Thing As A Criminal In A Fabulous Hat
Apr 27, 2018 • 38 min
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Original Elf Molly Oldfield discuss blue whale birthing, ceramic pillows and how to cast for a police line-up.
213: No Such Thing As Panda Gladiators
Apr 20, 2018 • 46 min
Live from Reading, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world’s first waterskier, Harvard for pandas, and the the record-holding mat holder called Matt Hand.
212: No Such Thing As A Hipster Pharaoh
Apr 13, 2018 • 46 min
Live from Belfast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss smuggling pasta, the Queen’s tri-annual review and the designer chickens of Silicon Valley.
211: No Such Thing As A Photograph Of A River
Apr 6, 2018 • 50 min
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss dinner party etiquette for 5-year-olds, ugly American shoes and divorcées falling down the stairs.
210: No Such Thing As A Sheep’s Bedside Table
Mar 30, 2018 • 40 min
Live from Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sheep in a lift, the cocktail-endorsing pope, and why the RAF have banned Tunnocks Teacakes.
209: No Such Thing As A Sexy Black Hole
Mar 23, 2018 • 44 min
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss denim arson, and why 1p on the ground isn’t worth anything.
208: No Such Thing As A Female Egg Thief
Mar 23, 2018 • 39 min
Live from Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss the man with an egg stuck in his mouth, Lost Wife posters and Edward VII’s driving-drink.
207: No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great Overreaction
Mar 9, 2018 • 41 min
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss suspended babies, computer-generated sweet nothings, and the man who waters his house every day.
206: No Such Thing As A Pig In Court
Mar 2, 2018 • 44 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Victorian fern mania, why stripes are a fashion crime and ice golf championships.
205: No Such Thing As The Number Six
Feb 23, 2018 • 52 min
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss ski lift thefts, the world’s largest wine cellar and what would happen if all the bacteria disappeared in the world.
204: No Such Thing As A Mean Butterfly
Feb 16, 2018 • 44 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Great Maple Syrup Robbery, a musical Russian invasion and the great Greek god Doris.
203: No Such Thing As A Muscular Butterfly
Feb 9, 2018 • 42 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the secret Matrix sushi recipes, why our skin doesn’t leak and butterfly sperm trickery.
202: No Such Thing As A Deadly Birthday Cake
Feb 2, 2018 • 46 min
Live from Coventry, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss trousers for horses, swimming the Atlantic, and why the inventor of basketball was so bad at teaching it.
201: No Such Thing As Lobsters At The Lobster Festival
Jan 26, 2018 • 55 min
Live from Dunstable, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss King Ferdinand’s Orient Express phobia, the giant magnet roaming Glastonbury and Foyle’s unorthodox method of wartime shop defence.
200: No Such Thing As A Jigsaw For The Queen
Jan 19, 2018 • 54 min
Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the squatting Queen impersonator, misplace nuclear launch codes, and the statue in Belgium commemorating Peter the Great’s sick.
199: No Such Thing As An Heroic Fire-Goat
Jan 12, 2018 • 41 min
Live from Leicester, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss meerkats’ inside-out bottoms, California’s imprisoned firefighters, and the risk of finding a golf ball in your crisps.
198: No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie Trivia
Jan 6, 2018 • 52 min
Live from Up The Creek In Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the dead author under the bed, the first ever sports bra, and Poopy the Ambassador.
No Such Thing As Wasted Material 2017
Dec 29, 2017 • 81 min
All the outtakes and deleted bits from Fish 2017. Happy In-between-Christmas-and-New-Year-bit!
Merry Fishmas!
Dec 25, 2017 • 39 min
197: No Such Thing As Eurovision For Christmas Trees
Dec 22, 2017 • 40 min
A special Christmas episode with Dan, James, Anna and Andy, live from Up The Creek in Greenwich
196: No Such Thing As Faking The Magic Dream
Dec 15, 2017 • 37 min
Live from Wimbledon, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss what makes flamingos pink, Cape Canaveral’s dialling code, and the secret dream that lets you keep bees in the mountains.
195: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird With A Greggs Steak Bake
Dec 8, 2017 • 38 min
Live from Manchester, Dan, James, Anna And Andy discuss how much Coke a human-sized hummingbird would drink, the world’s first rollercoaster, and American grocery bag-packing competitions.
194: No Such Thing As An Orange Crocodile
Dec 1, 2017 • 38 min
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss green robins, Lenin’s unexpected accent and the Nottingham cheese riots.
193: No Such Thing As Death By Conga
Nov 24, 2017 • 47 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss testifying in court through a window, the ant nests made of ants, and book the size of postage stamps.
192: No Such Thing As A Restaurant Menu For Hats
Nov 17, 2017 • 44 min
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss listening to the radio with your hat on, the useless mating call of the pumpkin toadlet, and salmon-shaped mountains.
191: No Such Thing As A Cannibal Squirrel
Nov 10, 2017 • 48 min
Live from Bath, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Calvin Coolidge’s robotic horse, the inventor of email, and the language it’s easiest to speak while drunk.
190: No Such Thing As A Magic Oven For Chimps
Nov 3, 2017 • 39 min
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss British boomerangs, primate rock-paper-scissors, and why the Catalans are so anti-cat.
189: No Such Thing As A Meringue-Utan
Nov 1, 2017 • 35 min
Live from the Cheltenham Literature Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Queen’s nickname, the man beaten in a marathon by a tumble dryer, and the anus that is Making America Great Again.
188: No Such Thing As A Mouth-Propelled Grenade Launcher
Oct 27, 2017 • 38 min
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Mo Farah’s only Guinness World Record, what’s inside a Kit Kat, and how hamsters arrived in the UK.
187: No Such Thing As An Ant On Its Gap Year
Oct 20, 2017 • 42 min
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to get ants drunk, the stolen cities in China, and The Sound Of Julie Andrews Being Blown Over By A Helicopter.
186: No Such Thing As Russian Hacking in the Cockroach Election
Oct 13, 2017 • 32 min
Anna, James, Andy and Alice discuss portable bridges, sneeze-based votes, and why you can’t detect magnets with your mind.
185: No Such Thing As Scottish Snow
Oct 6, 2017 • 49 min
Andy, Anna, James and special guest Cariad Lloyd discuss Unity Mitford’s BFFs, how planes (don’t) cure deafness, and why you shouldn’t eat Scottish show.
184: No Such Thing As Dinosaur Diaries
Sep 29, 2017 • 42 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snakes that eat snakes, mathematical street performers, and the celebrity most likely to give you a virus.
183: No Such Thing As A Bouncy Theatre
Sep 22, 2017 • 33 min
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss how to drive a submarine, Gainsborough’s 6-foot-long paintbrushes, and where 1% of all the world’s wood goes.
182: No Such Thing As An Auction For Auction School
Sep 15, 2017 • 33 min
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Jason Hazeley discuss the British Lawnmover Museum, questionnaires for narcissists, how Christie’s auctioneers get over their nerves.
181: No Such Thing As A Shark Vending Machine
Sep 8, 2017 • 36 min
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss Spielberg’s Great White Turd, maverick train carriages and how bird always know when they’re in Aberdeen.
180: No Such Thing As Playing Snake On A Plane
Sep 1, 2017 • 33 min
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss Hitler’s Beatles cameo, how lobsters fly, and the most surprising place to find John Goodman.
179: No Such Thing As Stare-Boxing
Aug 25, 2017 • 33 min
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss mail-order portraits, the first ever Encyclopaedia Britannica, and the country with only five star hotels.
178: No Such Thing As A Cup Full Of Nessie
Aug 18, 2017 • 44 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss your amazing expanding liver, the land of ex-presidents, and scientists disguised as mooses…or is that meese?
177: No Such Thing As A Barking Spy
Aug 11, 2017 • 43 min
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the invention of crowd barriers, bombs that lecture their victims, and Volkswagen’s biggest product [hint: it’s not cars].
176: No Such Thing As A Communist Caterpillar
Aug 4, 2017 • 40 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss vomiting caterpillars, quarantined chocolate, and Russian news that’s literally stored in the cloud.
175: No Such Thing As A Rice Krispie With Feelings
Jul 28, 2017 • 46 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss expert plastic sushi artists, the world’s first bendy straws, and how fake dog noses help detect bombs.
174: No Such Thing As A Manta Ray
Jul 21, 2017 • 45 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss competitive tongue injuring, the popemobile for hire and Bogotan traffic mimes.
173: No Such Thing As Symphony For Sizzurp In D Minor
Jul 14, 2017 • 44 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss weather-forecasting rainbows, Mexico’s artistic tax policy and the mandatory Big Book of Tennis Rules.
172: No Such Thing As A Cat-a-Cops Cartoon
Jul 7, 2017 • 53 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force for dead people, Indonesia’s KFC CDs and Chinese mistress-dispellers.
171: No Such Thing As A Half-Ape Vampire
Jun 30, 2017 • 42 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the man behind human chess, Agatha Christie’s untranslatable book and deceitful camemberts.
170: No Such Thing As A Love Potion For A Vole
Jun 23, 2017 • 44 min
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss stinking ice, smart seeds and the world’s greatest fly swatters.
169: No Such Thing As Constantly Awake Beauty
Jun 16, 2017 • 41 min
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss synchronised blinking, the ants the size of foxes, and nocturnal apple-counting robots.
168: No Such Thing As Lord Cauldronhead
Jun 9, 2017 • 41 min
In a special episode covering the 2017 general election, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss policies regarding yetis, the underwater constituency, and (of course) the election in Kenya.
167: No Such Thing As Milk From A Yak
Jun 2, 2017 • 44 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the growing Tibetan butter sculpting crisis, how to email a tree, and what to do with the world’s hottest chilli (hint: don’t eat it).
166: No Such Thing As A Courgette In Your Ear
May 26, 2017 • 46 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chicken egg orientation, drawing on your ear drums, and the Georgian garden of celebrity trees.
165: No Such Thing As A Spider The Size Of A Sheep
May 19, 2017 • 33 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Wright brothers’ first flight, China’s latest speed limits, and why poo on a table may be further away than it appears.
164: No Such Thing As A Poo Powered Plane
May 11, 2017 • 47 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss second-hand spacesuits, Jeremy Corbyn’s luxuriant beard, and North Korea’s flying taxi service.
163: No Such Thing As Too Fast For A Fish
May 5, 2017 • 53 min
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest John Hodgman discuss draining the sea, why the Titanic really sunk, and how most of Britain isn’t really in Britain.
162: No Such Thing As Catastrophic Shoelaces
Apr 28, 2017 • 49 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the problem with HMS Victory, the science behind shoelaces and the age-old question of hobnob production.
161: No Such Thing As A Magic Donkey
Apr 21, 2017 • 40 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever lie detector, a robotic Cleopatra and the world’s largest exporter of false teeth.
160: No Such Thing As A Sausage Jacuzzi
Apr 13, 2017 • 46 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail spas, the world’s largest porch swings, and the least practical way to wash clothes.
159: No Such Thing As An Edible Jockey
Apr 7, 2017 • 40 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss falcon sex caps, a 73-year-old superhuman swimmer, and the morning routine of a seahorse.
158: No Such Thing As A Weasel’s Fridge
Mar 31, 2017 • 46 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the intricacies of Indian washing machines, ghost-hunting in GCHQ and why ferret racing is such a snooze-fest.
157: No Such Thing As High-Fiving The Beatles
Mar 24, 2017 • 43 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever high-five, an iceberg storage facility in Antarctica and how to put make-up on in space.
156: No Such Thing As A Limited Edition
Mar 17, 2017 • 40 min
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Dr Erica McAlister discuss sperm whale-sized sperm, real-life Home Alone security measures, and why you’ve never really heard Churchill’s famous speeches.
155: No Such Thing As Hurricane Schmurricane
Mar 10, 2017 • 39 min
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich to celebrate the third birthday of the podcast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the weirdest storm name suggestions, President Johnson’s johnson shower and the Old People Forecast
154: No Such Thing As A Submarine Shepherd
Mar 3, 2017 • 43 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the UK’s noisiest warships, how glow-worms go fishing and what happened to the world’s first cannabis smokers.
153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time
Feb 24, 2017 • 40 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aphrodisiac sorbet, non-flammable newspapers and the world’s Scilliest soccer teams.
152: No Such Thing As A Sleepover With Lions
Feb 17, 2017 • 44 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss self-consuming breasts, eating lions’ leftovers, and why we’re thirty seconds closer to the end of the world.
151: No Such Thing As A Komodo Dragon Restaurant
Feb 10, 2017 • 38 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss garlic-flavoured chocolate bars, Komodo dragon puberty and and why you don’t want to french kiss a frog.
150: No Such Thing As A Helium Filled Pufferfish
Feb 3, 2017 • 39 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the bits of Earth on the Moon, venom-swiping slugs, and when Mount Rushmore will finally be finished.
149: No Such Thing As The Train King Of Europe
Jan 27, 2017 • 36 min
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss boot camp for trains, celebrity camels, and why Shell send sea shells back to the sea shore.
148: No Such Thing As A Plummeting Moose
Jan 20, 2017 • 30 min
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss helicopter dung attacks, Sesame Street’s Donald Trump and the best way to cover the smell of urine.
147: No Such Thing As Burrito Party Boy
Jan 13, 2017 • 39 min
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss the unluckiest politician in the world, the elephant on the River Thames, and the best way of getting invited to Buckingham Palace.
146: No Such Thing As A Queen Orca
Jan 6, 2017 • 50 min
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss sympathetic pregnancy, the world’s most famous umbrellas and the surprisingly romantic life of coral.
No Such Thing As A Fish - Extra Bits
Dec 30, 2016 • 34 min
A compilation episodes of bits there weren’t time for in the 2016 episodes of No Such Thing As A Fish. Happy New Year!
145: No Such Thing as E.T. Part Three
Dec 23, 2016 • 32 min
A Christmas compilation episode in which Dan, James, Anna and Andy take facts from the audiences of Fish’s spin-off topical news show No Such Thing As The News.
144: No Such Thing As Garlic Superman
Dec 16, 2016 • 36 min
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss historical ham sandwiches, edible passwords and why Jupiter is shrinking.
143: No Such Thing As Chariots in Space
Dec 9, 2016 • 33 min
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss placebo pharmacies, Britain’s 17th century space program, and the robot that cheats at Rock, Paper, Scissors.
142: No Such Thing As Edward Binbag-Hands
Dec 2, 2016 • 35 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aeroplane-chasing bumblebees, spiky penises, and the weighing scales in the Oval Office.
141: No Such Thing As Ancient Roman Pictionary
Nov 25, 2016 • 44 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the wisdom of Wisden, life in an elephant’s footprint and why to strive for that ‘classic poo look’.
140: No Such Thing As Books For Pirate-Children
Nov 18, 2016 • 44 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ancient greek bathtubs, badgers on submarines and the logistics of Santa’s Naughty and Nice List.
139: No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy
Nov 11, 2016 • 38 min
Live from the London Podcast Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Evel Knievel’s jail time, the complete history of turtle soup, and a telescope too big to use.
138: No Such Thing As Fluff Island
Nov 4, 2016 • 39 min
Andy, Anna, Alex and special guest Ed Brooke-Hitching discuss left-handed snails, non-existent islands and the White House press-pit-swimming-pool.
137: No Such Thing As Churchill’s Secret Parrot
Oct 28, 2016 • 41 min
136: No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For Clams
Oct 21, 2016 • 39 min
Anna, Andy, Piers Fletcher and Justin Pollard discuss Samuel Pepys’s porn stash, boiling swimming pools and a sixty-year-long life hack to owning beachfront property.
135: No Such Thing As Queen Of Clean, The Sausage Machine
Oct 14, 2016 • 44 min
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss animal babysitters, supermarket laser tag, and the best party in the history of the world.
134: No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of Sweden
Oct 7, 2016 • 37 min
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss virtual grouse shooting, stolen Van Gogh paintings and what happens after you win a Nobel Prize.
133: No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants
Sep 30, 2016 • 38 min
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ants in frogs, upside-down perception, and the best way to watch a presidential debate.
132: No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster
Sep 23, 2016 • 47 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss computer-playing cars, fratricidal kookaburras and what paper was first used for.
131: No Such Thing As Walking The Life Jacket
Sep 16, 2016 • 43 min
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss duct tape for ducks, duck tape for ducts, Duck duct tape and ducks in ducts. And ducts.
130: No Such Thing As Train Jam
Sep 9, 2016 • 40 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss toe wrestling championships, the ghost of Arthur Conan Doyle, and trains armed with lasers.
129: No Such Thing As Jack The Stripper
Sep 1, 2016 • 37 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hummingbird capes, spacesuits for ants, and the origin of the ballpoint pen.
128: No Such Thing As A Million Dollar Bill
Aug 25, 2016 • 37 min
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss glow-in-the-dark fungi, presidential putters and reasons for spying your neighbours.
127: No Such Thing As ‘Carry On Colliding’
Aug 18, 2016 • 33 min
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss man-made earthquakes, the world’s least favourite font, and how this episode will end up on the moon.
126: No Such Thing As A Boy Called Blclintn
Aug 11, 2016 • 36 min
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss literal sexual magnetism, Olympic races for old ladies, and all the children named after Tony Blair.
125: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand Prix
Aug 4, 2016 • 33 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss forte-pianos, spring-loaded hairstyles, and the not-so-gentle lemur.
124: No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream
Jul 28, 2016 • 34 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss railroad glow worms, Marx & Spencer, and kangaroos on trampolines.
123: No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch
Jul 21, 2016 • 36 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss synchronised heartbeats, how to barbecue with lava, and the people who only read Playboy for the articles.
122: No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon
Jul 14, 2016 • 37 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss holey spoons, the speed of snow and how to get more milk from a cow.
121: No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon Fibre
Jul 7, 2016 • 35 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wood-sucking catfish, wizard prison, and Ancient Egyptian butchers.
120: No Such Thing As HMS Kevin
Jun 30, 2016 • 36 min
Live from the Udderbelly Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss houses made for burgling, flimsy warships and graffiti in the sky.
119: No Such Thing As 4D Surgery
Jun 23, 2016 • 32 min
Dan, Anna, Andy and Steve Colgan discuss cage-reading, pigeons versus dinosaurs, and the schoolgirl spy from Devon.
118: No Such Thing As Dinner On A Spider
Jun 15, 2016 • 42 min
This week Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wristwatch thermometers, cheat codes for lifts, and glow-in-the-dark vomit.
117: No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth
Jun 8, 2016 • 41 min
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Tim Minchin discuss performing racoons, blue hailstones, and the giant that provides constipation relief.
116: No Such Thing As Notting Mountain
Jun 1, 2016 • 45 min
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss prehistoric butterflies, secret power stations, and Buddhist robots.
115: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot
May 25, 2016 • 41 min
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss alarm clocks in space, ripped-off national anthems and crows holding grudges.
114: No Such Thing As A Tantrump
May 18, 2016 • 33 min
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, and filmed as a pilot episode for QI’s new BBC TV series No Such Thing As The News, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss elephant polo, robots replacing Royals, and everything that hasn’t been discovered yet.
113: No Such Thing As A Flycycle
May 12, 2016 • 45 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss underwater tailors, the overlord of all emojis, and the alphabet of the future.
112: No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier
May 5, 2016 • 36 min
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss jet plane catapults, the Hemline Index, and the world’s most expensive toilet paper.
111: No Such Thing As Snappedy Chat
Apr 28, 2016 • 39 min
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss personalised number plates, political sexting and the Queen’s weirdest birthday presents.
110: No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box
Apr 21, 2016 • 36 min
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss underwater postboxes, easily distracted hijackers and the Disney film all about menstruation.
109: No Such Thing As A Speared Shrimp
Apr 14, 2016 • 35 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Belgian horseback fishing, flattop mountains and the world’s first newspaper.
108: No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf
Apr 7, 2016 • 40 min
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss killer shrimps, poo-based space food, and handsome Japanese tear-wipers for hire.
107: No Such Thing As Gorillas On The Beach
Mar 31, 2016 • 39 min
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spagnostic pastafarians, mystery pool pooers and the world’s first speech bubble.
106: No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human Pyramid
Mar 24, 2016 • 35 min
Live from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss colour-changing animals, caffeinated mushrooms and fashionable hay fever.
105: No Such Thing As Pancakes For Perverts
Mar 17, 2016 • 33 min
Live from Newport, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss tweeting chickens, litigious hyenas and peer-reviewed romantic comedies.
104: No Such Thing As A Herd Of Koalas
Mar 10, 2016 • 34 min
Live from Dave’s Leicester Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss meteorwrongs, avian arsonists and the Norman Conquest of America.
103: No Such Thing As A Boa Constructor
Mar 3, 2016 • 33 min
Live from City Varieties in Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss glass delusion, useful sphincters, and six foot tall otters.
102: No Such Thing As A Water Mortar
Feb 26, 2016 • 30 min
Live from the Gulbenkian theatre in Canterbury, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss silly string, arrows in the air, frightened marmosets and the battle of the keyboards.
101: No Such Thing As A Giant Robot Michael Jackson
Feb 18, 2016 • 34 min
Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hedgehogs climbing walls, robots roaming deserts and cows wearing bras.
100: No Such Thing As A Zillion And One
Feb 11, 2016 • 43 min
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Corey Taylor discuss noisy silent discos, squid holograms, and a trillion seconds of porridge for breakfast.
99: No Such Thing As Bread Civilians
Feb 4, 2016 • 36 min
Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sexy robots, samurai hairdressers and the world’s oldest drive-through.
98: No Such Thing As Planet George
Jan 28, 2016 • 36 min
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Snowmageddon, the most planety planet, and the world’s unluckiest lottery winner.
97: No Such Thing As Andrew Diplodocus Carnegie
Jan 21, 2016 • 36 min
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Helen Arney discuss the length of a jiffy, accidental sonic booms and totally astounding, gobsmacking and singularly amazing discoveries.
96: No Such Thing As A Touch Of Worms
Jan 14, 2016 • 35 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Chill Pill, Socrates’ imaginary friend, and levitating fridges.
95: No Such Thing As A Millipede Embassy
Jan 7, 2016 • 34 min
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss Roman pig-dragons, cross-border sex and walking worms.
94: No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas
Dec 31, 2015 • 35 min
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aircraft-building ferrets, yeti custody battles and presidential colonoscopies.
93: No Such Thing As A Christmas Treenis
Dec 24, 2015 • 34 min
Glad SCHREIBings we bring to you and HARKIN! We wish you a MURRAY Christmas ANNA Happy New Year! In a special festive episode, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss fluffy velociraptors, glass Christmas trees and the oldest turkey in Britain.
92: No Such Thing As A Frozen Chicken Haunting
Dec 17, 2015 • 38 min
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss coughing giraffes, naked Roman ghosts, and why we should stop punching glass.
91: No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988
Dec 10, 2015 • 40 min
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the Double-Cross System, biblical puns, and a week with Willy the worm.
90: No Such Thing As The Brilliant Billion
Dec 3, 2015 • 52 min
Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss Einstein’s twitter account, where water comes from, and The Great Wall Of Sticky Rice.
89: No Such Thing As Utah Fried Chicken
Nov 26, 2015 • 36 min
Live from The Junction in Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss one-tree forests, car-henge, and death-defying ticket inspectors.
88: No Such Thing As A Moon Sausage Bullet
Nov 19, 2015 • 34 min
Live from the Lyric Theatre in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss William Wordsworth’s nickname, lettuce grown in space, and Van Gogh’s new ear.
No Such Thing As A Fish: The One Show Special
Nov 18, 2015 • 29 min
In this bonus episode recorded in the BBC’s The One Show studios, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge holes, criminal kestrels and how to park a van on Pluto.
87: No Such Thing As The Pajama Police
Nov 12, 2015 • 40 min
Live from The North Wall Arts Centre in Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss mining for jeans, what Jesus really looked like, and the most famous snail in Britain.
86: No Such Thing As Ghost Nipples
Nov 5, 2015 • 33 min
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Mark Mason discuss coronation attire, Ancient Egyptian pornography and competitive puddle-jumping.
85: No Such Thing As Michelangelo’s Snowman
Oct 29, 2015 • 34 min
Live from the Brighton Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss naughty Popes, attractive picnic tables and “fun facts” about hawks.
84: No Such Thing As A Donkumentary
Oct 22, 2015 • 36 min
Dan, Andy, Alex and special guest Dr Karl Kruszelnicki discuss dangerous ticks, millennium bugs and a newly discovered Bastard.
83: No Such Thing As A Flying Sniffer Dog
Oct 15, 2015 • 37 min
Live from the Salford Lowry theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss courageous cats, extreme parking, weird awards and moths’ invisibility cloaks.
82: No Such Thing As A Sentient Iceberg
Oct 8, 2015 • 42 min
Live from Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss ancient lost property offices, the Town Crier World Championships and how to make fire from ice.
81: No Such Thing As Jellyfish Jelly
Oct 1, 2015 • 26 min
Anna, James, Alex and Anne discuss glow-in-the-dark animals, Dr Seuss’s secret war films and what happens when you Google something.
80: No Such Thing As A Mousetrap-Remote-Control
Sep 24, 2015 • 31 min
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss magnetic ham sandwiches, the original use for bubblewrap, and the world’s first vending machine.
79: No Such Thing As A Sad High Five
Sep 17, 2015 • 41 min
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Scrabble’s unlikely champion, why you shouldn’t pick a fight a hairy frog & all the latest in itch news.
78: No Such Thing As An Ugly Pair Of Eyes
Sep 10, 2015 • 37 min
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss trophies for trophies, Napoleon’s favourite food and the original IMDb.
77: No Such Thing As Pee-Bay
Sep 3, 2015 • 41 min
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the history of buttons, White House squirrel problems and sewer-powered street lamps.
76: No Such Thing As Mould Juice
Aug 27, 2015 • 31 min
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first ever eBay auction, poo-flavoured ice cream, and the what happened to Fleming’s mould.
75: No Such Thing As Diarrhoea Drive
Aug 20, 2015 • 47 min
Live from The Aces and Eights Bar in Tufnell Park, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facts suggested from the audience, including blue margarine, superstrong beetles and car-driving monkey butlers.
74: No Such Thing As A Computer In The Oval Office
Aug 13, 2015 • 35 min
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss the early days of MI6, donkeys with WiFi, and the world’s only handwritten newspaper.
73: No Such Thing As A Useless Condom
Aug 6, 2015 • 38 min
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the preparations for D-Day, secret library porn, and cannibalistic cane toads.
72: No Such Thing As A Bacon Telescope
Jul 30, 2015 • 34 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first pneumatic tubes, photosynthesising sea slugs, and the worst zoo in North Korea.
71: No Such Thing As A Somersaulting Long Jumper
Jul 23, 2015 • 40 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss humans versus horses, where to get new eyelids, and why you should never drink with Alfred Hitchcock.
70: No Such Thing As A Rat Multiborg
Jul 16, 2015 • 34 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the age old debate of ‘Nike’ versus ‘Nikey’, telepathic rats, and 90 super-gripping babies.
69: No Such Thing As The Pamplona Guinea Pig Run
Jul 9, 2015 • 36 min
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss less famous Last Suppers, a guinea pig gynaecologist, and a crime writer who can’t read.
68: No Such Thing As A Friendly Face Fondle
Jul 2, 2015 • 31 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the famous last words, the secrets of flirting, and drinking porridge through a straw.
67: No Such Thing As The Hoo-Hah Monologues
Jun 26, 2015 • 34 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anne discuss Communist Irish bars, the decline of marvellousness and a quarantine for diseased rocks.
66: No Such Thing As A Robotic Margaret Atwood
Jun 19, 2015 • 36 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anne discuss the fate of London’s bendy buses, lifts with toilets, and century-long book deals.
65: No Such Thing As A Chickenosaurus
Jun 11, 2015 • 37 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss celebrity dinosaurs, beards entering Mexico and the professor of LEGO.
64: No Such Thing As An Honest Saiga
Jun 4, 2015 • 30 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss banana bombs, disappearing lakes and a church for zombies.
63: No Such Thing As An Anti-German Sock
May 28, 2015 • 37 min
Live from the Hay Literary Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the world’s first novel, a Beatle as Gandalf, and the inventor of the television.
62: No Such Thing As The Ugly Panda
May 21, 2015 • 42 min
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Rufus Hound discuss the origin of The Sooty Show, an omelette-cooking tightrope walker, and the shepherds running America.
61: No Such Thing As Jesus’s Magic Wand
May 14, 2015 • 46 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Benjamin Franklin’s massive bed, knife-wielding referees and the longest movie in the world.
60: No Such Thing As An Unenjoyable Bowel Movement
May 7, 2015 • 36 min
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and QI creator John Lloyd discuss Iceland’s last McDonalds burger, the science of ignorance, and sea battles at Sadler’s Wells.
59: No Such Thing As Old Mother Bastard
Apr 30, 2015 • 45 min
In a special UK General Election episode, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss animal politicians, saunas in the Sinai desert, and the first ‘thing’ ever.
58: No Such Thing As Van Gogh The Elephant
Apr 23, 2015 • 41 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss copyrighted bum-slaps, pickpockets with chopsticks, and Louis Armstrong’s passion for laxatives.
57: No Such Thing As A Hoverhorse
Apr 16, 2015 • 38 min
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss supersmog, horses on treadmills and impossible colours.
56: No Such Thing As A Killer Tomato
Apr 9, 2015 • 41 min
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss mad NASA projects, WW1 spy tactics, and an old, new enemy to all mankind.
55: No Such Thing As Samurai Nail Clippers
Apr 2, 2015 • 41 min
Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss internet for plants, smoke jumpers and super-wet water.
54: No Such Thing As Domesticated Furniture
Mar 26, 2015 • 38 min
Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss eccentric dinner parties, the most pointless scientific studies and what happens to tattoos when they die.
53: No Such Thing As A 3000km Tall Statue Of Liberty
Mar 19, 2015 • 43 min
Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss X-ray sellotape, the world’s oldest chewing gum, and why you should never put Skittles up your nose.
52: No Such Thing As A Worthless Bucket Of Urine
Mar 13, 2015 • 52 min
51: No Such Thing As Dodecahedral Shredded Wheat
Mar 6, 2015 • 44 min
50: No Such Thing As Doing It Dinosaur-Style
Feb 27, 2015 • 46 min
49: No Such Thing As A Buff Panda
Feb 25, 2015 • 35 min
48: No Such Thing As A Pokemon-Playing Goldfish
Feb 20, 2015 • 37 min
47: No Such Thing As A Lonely Starbucks Customer
Feb 13, 2015 • 34 min
46: No Such Thing As An Apostle Called Scrotum
Feb 6, 2015 • 46 min
45: No Such Thing As A Travelator In Ancient Rome
Jan 30, 2015 • 45 min
44: No Such Thing As A Vegan Fryup
Jan 23, 2015 • 34 min
43: No Such Thing As The Human Cigarette
Jan 16, 2015 • 38 min
42: No Such Thing As A Bloober Reel
Jan 9, 2015 • 47 min
No Such Thing As Unbroadcastable Material
Dec 31, 2014 • 30 min
41: No Such Thing As Reginald The Red-Nosed Reindeer
Dec 24, 2014 • 42 min
40: No Such Thing As Captain Trousers
Dec 19, 2014 • 35 min
39: No Such Thing As A Rocking Chair In Space
Dec 12, 2014 • 36 min
38: No Such Thing As A Super Mario Love Hotel
Dec 5, 2014 • 47 min
37: No Such Thing As The Kevin Olympics
Nov 28, 2014 • 33 min
36: No Such Thing As A Game Of King’s Footsie
Nov 21, 2014 • 34 min
35: No Such Thing As A Good Sloth Onesie
Nov 14, 2014 • 57 min
34: No Such Thing As A Giant German Sandcastle
Nov 7, 2014 • 35 min
33: No Such Thing As A Clairvoyant Chicken
Oct 30, 2014 • 34 min
32: No Such Thing As A Good Gift For Gordon Brown
Oct 24, 2014 • 35 min
31: No Such Thing As A Snake In My Pie
Oct 17, 2014 • 33 min
30: No Such Thing As A Song In The Sound Of Music
Oct 10, 2014 • 52 min
29: No Such Thing As Terrestrial Sweetcorn
Oct 3, 2014 • 38 min
28: No Such Thing As A Man-Eating Clam
Sep 26, 2014 • 31 min
27: No Such Thing As An Egg And Cress Portsmouth
Sep 19, 2014 • 32 min
26: No Such Thing As A Yeti Fact
Sep 12, 2014 • 44 min
25: No Such Thing As A Randy Rat In Polyester Pants
Sep 5, 2014 • 30 min
24: No Such Thing As A Malicious Robot
Aug 29, 2014 • 32 min
23: No Such Thing As A Yawning Psychopath
Aug 21, 2014 • 36 min
22: No Such Thing As A Magic Camel Filter
Aug 14, 2014 • 31 min
21: No Such Thing As Testicle-Retracting Sumo Wrestlers
Aug 8, 2014 • 33 min
20: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Daffodil
Aug 1, 2014 • 36 min
19: No Such Thing As Unicorn Stew
Jul 25, 2014 • 35 min
18: No Such Thing As A Kilt On The Battlefield
Jul 18, 2014 • 33 min
17: No Such Thing As A Bassoon In A Football Stadium
Jul 11, 2014 • 37 min
16: No Such Thing As A Ghost In Poland
Jul 5, 2014 • 29 min
15: No Such Thing As A Bulge In Ken’s Groin
Jun 28, 2014 • 29 min
NSTAAF International Factball: South Korea v Ghana
Jun 25, 2014 • 18 min
South Korea v Ghana: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifteenth and final episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan…
NSTAAF International Factball: Iran v Argentina v Ecuador
Jun 24, 2014 • 21 min
Iran v Argentina v Ecuador: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourteenth episode of International Factball - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today in this never-before-tried…
NSTAAF International Factball: Greece v Japan
Jun 23, 2014 • 16 min
Greece v Japan: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the thirteenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Anna Ptaszynski…
NSTAAF International Factball: Australia v Mexico
Jun 22, 2014 • 14 min
Australia v Mexico: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the twelfth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
NSTAAF International Factball: USA v Russia
Jun 21, 2014 • 19 min
USA v Russia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eleventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Andrew Hunter Murray…
NSTAAF International Factball: Bosnia v Nigeria
Jun 20, 2014 • 15 min
Bosnia v Nigeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the tenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
NSTAAF International Factball: Italy v Switzerland
Jun 20, 2014 • 15 min
Italy v Switzerland: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the ninth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Andrew Hunter Murray…
NSTAAF International Factball: Colombia v Ivory Coast
Jun 19, 2014 • 13 min
Colombia v Ivory Coast: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eighth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
NSTAAF International Factball: Cameroon vs Chile
Jun 17, 2014 • 15 min
Cameroon v Chile: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the seventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
NSTAAF International Factball: Belgium v Algeria
Jun 15, 2014 • 15 min
Belgium v Algeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the sixth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
NSTAAF International Factball: Germany v Portugal
Jun 14, 2014 • 15 min
Germany v Portugal: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
NSTAAF International Factball: France v Honduras
Jun 14, 2014 • 14 min
France v Honduras: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
NSTAAF International Factball: Uruguay v Costa Rica
Jun 13, 2014 • 14 min
Uruguay v Costa Rica: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the third episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
NSTAAF International Factball: Spain v Netherlands
Jun 12, 2014 • 13 min
Spain v Netherlands: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the second episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
NSTAAF International Factball: Brazil v Croatia
Jun 11, 2014 • 14 min
Brazil v Croatia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the first episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber…
14: No Such Thing As A Dirty Pair Of Jeans
Jun 7, 2014 • 32 min
13: No Such Thing As A Funny Nazi
May 30, 2014 • 33 min
12: No Such Thing As A 164ft Tall Gorilla-Whale
May 23, 2014 • 29 min
11: No Such Thing As A Door Knob In Vancouver
May 16, 2014 • 29 min
10: No Such Thing As A Soggy Monk
May 9, 2014 • 38 min
9: No Such Thing As A Word For ‘Silent Fart’
May 2, 2014 • 31 min
8: No Such Thing As A Swear Word On The Moon
Apr 25, 2014 • 32 min
7: No Such Thing As The Loch Ness Monster
Apr 18, 2014 • 31 min
6: No Such Thing As One Direction in North Korea
Apr 11, 2014 • 30 min
5: No Such Thing As A Kiss
Apr 4, 2014 • 32 min
4: No Such Thing As The Mountains of Kong
Mar 28, 2014 • 29 min
3: No Such Thing As The Middle Ages
Mar 21, 2014 • 29 min
2: No Such Thing As Death By Aardvark
Mar 13, 2014 • 31 min
1: No Such Thing As A Pilot Fish
Mar 7, 2014 • 34 min