The Overwhelmed Brain

The Overwhelmed Brain

theoverwhelmedbrain.com
Personal growth for critical thinkers


When you have to make a big decision about the relationship
May 27 • 32 min
Sometimes when you’re in a relationship with someone, you might not know where it’s going or if it will even make it. I prefer taking action instead of waiting for things to happen. In this episode, I share some ways to take action when there’s a decision…
Waiting for someone else to change so that your life will be better
May 24 • 63 min
When you’re doing the work, but the people around you aren’t, and you are hoping, wishing and even praying that they “see the light” and make the changes that will be good for them, but they simply don’t or won’t work on themselves, what’s your next step?…
The emotional aftermath of getting free of the narcissistic relationship
May 20 • 58 min
The emotional challenges you experience after breaking up with a narcissist usually go way beyond grieving the end of a relationship. You can be stripped of your ability to see life clearly unless you heal. In this bonus episode, I cover a lot of ground…
Why you’re not getting a second chance
May 17 • 55 min
When you get a second chance at a job, relationship, or anything that you wanted a do-over on, what’s the best way to show up? Do you try to impress and show others how much you’ve changed? Or does that actually work against you? visit…
The toxic residue that lingers inside you from people that make you feel bad about yourself
May 10 • 55 min
When someone treats you badly, you can hold on to the emotions of that moment… forever. That diminishes your feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction and can linger with you even on your happiest days. It’s time to address those emotional triggers that…
Learning that your adult child suffered child sexual abuse
May 6 • 55 min
What is the right thing to do or say when your adult child tells you about their sexual abuse? I read an email from a mom who recently learned that her adult daughter was abused by another child when she was young. I bring my girlfriend Asha, an advocate…
When your top values aren’t being met, the rest of it falls apart
May 3 • 76 min
When your top level values are being met in your relationships, the rest of it usually works out. When they aren’t, you suffer and the relationship often fails. Every relationship contains components that make up what we value. Trust contains confidence…
Know and stand by your standards for the healthiest relationships possible
Apr 26 • 64 min
We’re all in relationships of some sort, but how happy those relationships are will depend a lot on what you’re willing to allow and unwilling to accept. What you allow into your relationships sets the tone for the rest of the time you are with these…
When you desperately want an explanation or closure but you can’t get it
Apr 19 • 58 min
You know that feeling you get when someone does something that surprises you in a bad way but they don’t tell you why? When you aren’t given the reason for their behavior, you may walk around with that unfinished business feeling . It’s what happens when…
How to feel better about yourself
Apr 12 • 63 min
Carrying around dysfunctions from childhood makes all your interactions harder and your life tougher. Add to that anyone that says anything critical to you, and any negative feelings you have about yourself are amplified. It’s time to access a part of…
New relationships should not create worry about what it is or isn’t
Apr 8 • 27 min
Long-distance dating can be more challenging than doing it in person, but should it contain anxiety, worry, and being completely unsure if it’s even a relationship at all? Someone wrote to me and asked me about anxiety while dating during the pandemic.…
Getting comfortable letting go of what no longer serves you
Apr 5 • 60 min
Can you get back up after a big fall? If you’re struggling to do so, your foundation may not be as stable as you’d hoped. The components that make up your life all have some sort of meaning or value to you. When you start to let go that which no longer…
Making sure toxic people and toxic environments don’t take over your life
Mar 29 • 68 min
What do you do when peace and happiness are just around the corner, but getting there is full of toxic obstacles that you feel powerless against? There may be priorities and values in place that need to be changed, but that’s not all. When you don’t make…
When social anxiety, fear, and loneliness keep you from doing what you want to do
Mar 22 • 69 min
Social anxiety and feeling awkward in social situations is more normal than you might think. Not everyone is a gregarious extrovert that can start a conversation with anyone. If you’re dealing with social anxiety, fear of judgment from others, or…
When life seems like an endless series of dead ends
Mar 15 • 45 min
There’s a path out of misery that some people don’t take because of fear. But when the misery never ends, why not take that path? The gain is usually far greater than the loss. I talk about that path in this episode. I begin today’s episode talking about…
The one question to ask yourself when you can’t figure out what to do
Mar 8 • 61 min
There are many situations that show up in our lives that challenge us. Sometimes we are able to act authentically and have our truth motivate us to take the right steps. Other times, fear drives us to hold back what we really want to say or do, prolonging…
Overcoming a general distrust of people and the benefit of taking risks
Mar 1 • 61 min
If you are cynical about people and feel vulnerable and exposed around most people you meet, perhaps it’s time to address that in yourself so that you walk around in confidence. It takes courage and risk, but not at the cost you may think.
Am I overreacting or are they just a jerk? And the woman who is the last to know about the family secret
Feb 23 • 60 min
Are you just too sensitive or is the other person really being a jerk? I read a follow up email from an episode a few weeks back and answer a question about the difference between being triggered and someone’s bad behavior. In segment two, I change it up…
When the fear of abandonment keeps you from happiness
Feb 16 • 66 min
When you’re needy and fearful of someone leaving you, or something ending, you tend to miss all the best moments of life. Fear of abandonment can dominate your thoughts causing you to miss out on happiness and fulfillment. When you grow beyond that fear,…
Those selfish people that don’t care if you’re hurt by their behavior
Feb 9 • 61 min
This episode is about selfishness. When you are interacting with people that only want what they want, regardless of how it affects you, you’re in for a very dysfunctional, and possibly emotionally harmful situation. It’s important to know your line and…
Bringing the best version of yourself into a world full of fearful people
Feb 2 • 54 min
Creating a relationship with yourself is the first part of the bigger picture of having great relationships in your life in general. But what happens when fearful people think you’re starting to enjoy being yourself too much and are afraid that you’ll go…
Making impossible decisions
Jan 26 • 72 min
If you’re always looking in the rear view mirror, it’s quite possible you’re not creating the life you want. Sometimes you get to the tipping point where you just can’t stand it anymore and you take action. On segment two, there’s a seriously difficult…
How to help yourself and others by accessing your inner wisdom
Jan 19 • 65 min
When you have a challenge that causes you stress and you want to make the right decision, you may need to dive in a little deeper to get a good answer. Whether you’re preparing for what you know will be a difficult time, or you’re helping someone else…
Staying positive while other people get what you want and you don’t
Jan 12 • 56 min
The feelings of jealousy or envy can quickly take over when someone else gets what we want, or succeeds at something we’re trying to accomplish. There’s a choice we make in that moment: To be upset and feel defeated, or be inspired to try harder and make…
When it feels like you never get enough from life
Jan 5 • 66 min
Will you ever have enough love, or enough money, or enough time, or… When you’re always trying to get more but never seem to get ahead, it’s time to figure out why that is. I talk about that and more in this first episode of 2020.
Keeping old emotional pain out of the new year
Dec 30, 2019 • 59 min
If you could loosen the grip old emotional pain has on you, do you think you’d feel better and be happier? Whether you’re holding on to old negative feelings or you’ve discovered past emotional wounds, this episode will help guide you to your first step…
Keep your power by giving yourself one of the greatest gifts possible
Dec 22, 2019 • 58 min
It’s important to bounce back from the setbacks and always move forward so that you aren’t drowning in the anger, sadness, or upset from the past. Sometimes even present circumstances can be enough to stall your forward momentum. This is why it’s vital to…
Using loved ones as a verbal punching bag
Dec 15, 2019 • 65 min
Are you really angry at the person standing in front of you? Or is that past unresolved trauma coming up in the moment adding tension and making your loved ones not want to be around you (or you around them)? With holidays and other gatherings, it’s a…
How to avoid destroying yourself with guilt
Dec 8, 2019 • 58 min
So you did something you regret and now you walk around feeling guilty… that has to end. Guilt isn’t something you keep, it’s supposed to be a message that disappears after you’ve learned the lesson. If you carry guilt, it’s time once and for all to let…
Being alone
Dec 1, 2019 • 64 min
Sometimes it’s a choice, sometimes you don’t want it at all, but at one time or another, you’re alone. Even when someone you love is right next to you, there are times you still feel alone.
What to do when your self-improvement creates fears and conflict in others
Nov 24, 2019 • 53 min
When you go through any type of self-improvement, there will be people that won’t support your growth, and there will be those who love that you feel good about yourself and are becoming happier. Those who don’t support you improving yourself and making…
What comes out of you when people push you over the edge
Nov 17, 2019 • 66 min
What lurks inside the depths of your emotional state that is conjured up when you are triggered? What happens when someone pushes you over the edge? Do you keep your composure or do you lose control? The unhealed emotional space inside you tends to come…
Establishing boundaries with toxic family
Nov 10, 2019 • 60 min
When you dread that phone call or personal visit with family that you hope goes well but never does, it’s important to learn how to establish boundaries. You don’t want to spend most of your time in anxiety waiting for the next family reunion. Toxic…
“There must be something wrong with me”: How you brainwash yourself by reinforcing negative false beliefs
Nov 3, 2019 • 80 min
We can get so good at convincing ourselves how broken or terrible we are sometimes. In fact, some of us go through life thinking that there must be something wrong with us because why else is our life turning out as it is? This is a deep episode that…
Facing the challenge, getting through it, and coming out of it new and improved
Oct 27, 2019 • 61 min
Challenges are inevitable. They are impossible to avoid. And when you manage to avoid them, do you really learn what you need to in order to get through the next one? You can spend your whole life avoiding challenges, but will you ever feel liberated from…
When others make you feel small
Oct 20, 2019 • 56 min
Is it possible to argue with love and respect for the other person? What if they can’t but you can? If you ever feel small or are made to feel inferior after an argument with a loved one, it’s time to learn what to do when it goes too far.
Are you inadvertently responsible for your own unhappiness
Oct 13, 2019 • 43 min
What happens when you can imagine what would make you happy, but you can’t have it in the real world? Sometimes you have to tolerate the bad to get to the good, and sometimes you just have to get away from the bad altogether.
Processing thoughts and emotions through self-guided questions
Oct 6, 2019 • 49 min
Sometimes you don’t have a coach or therapist around to walk you through the challenges. When you are experiencing a negative emotion, there are questions you can ask yourself to reach a new level of processing and healing. The work of Byron Katie plays a…
Keeping your power in conversations with controlling, dominating and overpowering people
Sep 29, 2019 • 60 min
If you can’t ever seem to win an argument with a certain person in your life, or you feel like you can never get closure on an issue because that person keeps turning it back on you, this episode will give you some tools to use next time you feel like…
Dealing with the impossible boss and other relationship advice when it comes to job, career and life
Sep 22, 2019 • 62 min
When your boss is a jerk, do you still go to work? Most people do, but then what? You continue to accept your boss’s bad behavior and just pretend you’re not affected? This episodes provides great communication tips not just for your superiors, but for…
Jealousy in the relationship
Sep 15, 2019 • 63 min
Several major components need to exist in a relationship in order for jealousy to take control. When there’s jealousy between you and your partner, there is almost always a decrease in love and connection, and an increase in unhappiness and anxiety. It’s…
When there’s insecurity or fear around sex, the entire relationship suffers. And a listener disagrees with my advice
Sep 8, 2019 • 49 min
When you have issues with sex in your relationship, and you don’t discuss it with your partner, your relationship suffers. Or if you do discuss it and you can’t reach a resolution, you will feel it throughout your time together and never be as happy as…
Making difficult and sometimes painful decisions that almost always improve your life
Sep 1, 2019 • 65 min
The key to long-lasting happiness and fulfillment is about ten percent luck and ninety percent of what I talk about in today’s episode. If you struggle in your relationships, your job, or life in general, you may be sabotaging your own path to success.…
Enforce your boundaries, keep the balance, stop the compromising, end your suffering and more: Email grab bag episode
Aug 25, 2019 • 68 min
Relating to other people is the majority of how our life is spent, so what do you do when you can’t relate? I cover a lot of topics in this episode, from trying to not upset the balance of a difficult relationship to learning how to not compromise…
What you might have to do if the people and situations in your life never improve
Aug 18, 2019 • 45 min
What can you do when you really want to change a person or a bad situation but can’t? What if you know someone is awful to be around and unhealthy for you, but you can’t get them out of your life? In this episode, I give you five steps you can take to…
The big, scary steps that lead to positive change
Aug 11, 2019 • 65 min
How big of a leap do you have to take to create real change in your life? Is every step a leap of faith that causes you to carry around fear and stress all the time? Can you take baby steps to heal and grow into the person you want to be, creating the…
Self-help variety episode: Anxiety, guilt, and people who are worried about their personal life interfering their professional life
Aug 4, 2019 • 73 min
Guilt should be a temporary emotion yet so many people hold on to it for far too long. In today’s episode, guilt takes center stage, but I spend time talking about how to make the right life choices when it comes to allowing or not allowing the challenges…
Changing your habitual negative emotions about the past or future
Jul 28, 2019 • 51 min
It can be so hard to stop replaying fears or trauma from the past or anxiety about the future, but if there was a an alternative to obessively replaying the same negative throught over and over again, would you try it? What if it was ridiculous? What if…
Holding yourself in high regard when others don’t
Jul 21, 2019 • 66 min
Sometimes you have people in your life who regard you and your feelings as unimportant and below theirs. When you agree with their assessment that you are less important or inferior in some way and don’t deserve to be treated with respect and kindness,…
When people don’t step up in your defense
Jul 14, 2019 • 46 min
What do you do when someone you believe cares about you doesn’t stand up in your defense? What if there’s a wrong they don’t right and you are stuck taking the fall? The subject of today’s episode is all about what we expect from others and perhaps, what…
Those intrusive, invading and disturbing thoughts that you try to resist and repress
Jul 7, 2019 • 56 min
When your thoughts make you feel bad because you believe you shouldn’t have them, you might repress them and stuff them back where they came from. However, doing this may be exactly what keeps those negative, intrusive thoughts alive.
The tough-love principles of living a life without giving away your power
Jun 30, 2019 • 56 min
You can lose your confidence, energy, and mental and emotional strength when you allow certain unhealthy elements into your life. In this episode, I’ll share the important principles that, when practiced, allow you to keep your power and be more fulfilled…
When you just can’t move forward because of inner conflict
Jun 23, 2019 • 53 min
One way you can experience inner conflict is when you feel undecided in what to do next. Sometimes we can feel split: A part of us wants to do one thing while another part of us wants to do another. What if those two parts of our mind could work things…
The decisions that cause you to lose your power and keep you in a rut
Jun 16, 2019 • 42 min
Making decisions that are right for you involve some scary moments. Some of them are giant leaps of faith with no view of the landing. When you make these leaps, you reach a new level inside you that shows others that you care about yourself enough to…
You got through the bullying when you were younger but how do you deal with the residual as an adult?
Jun 9, 2019 • 53 min
Being bullied when you were younger can create unresourceful behaviors and unnecessary fears when you’re older. In order to get past these fears, you may have to do some work on yourself.
When you don’t even realize you’re giving a free pass to bad behavior: The simple formation and difficult termination of codependent relationships
Jun 2, 2019 • 54 min
How do you enable the bad behavior of other people? What actions are you taking that are causing certain people in your life to show up in a way that is toxic or unhealthy? It’s very difficult to end codependent relationships, especially when you don’t…
Dealing with those passive aggressive, negative, so hard to be around people that you just hope get it one day
May 26, 2019 • 42 min
Passive aggressive behavior is a way to convey anger and upset to someone indirectly. It takes the form of comments that are meant to hurt, but hard to spot as hurtful. They are forms of poisonous communication that can erode love and connection. This…
BONUS re-release: When Panic Attacks - The Anxiety Episode
May 23, 2019 • 65 min
Anxiety is the excessive worrying about future events, based on a story that you tell yourself. However, it’s hard to change the story when you actually believe it will happen. On top of that, the more you believe it will come true, the more likely you’ll…
Utilizing your dysfunctions to work for you instead of against you
May 19, 2019 • 50 min
Dysfunctions typically don’t serve us, they usually get in the way. People pleasing, super perfectionism and responsibility, allowing personal boundaries to be crossed, and so many more behaviors can be obstacles to fulfillment and joy. Some people go…
Criticisms and hurtful comments from others don’t apply when you are in alignment with your inner compass
May 12, 2019 • 57 min
When someone puts you down by criticizing or making you feel bad, is their criticism accurate? Do you believe it to the point where you can’t let it go? When you get into alignment with yourself morally, ethically, and sometimes even legally, you feel…
When you can’t enjoy life because you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop
May 5, 2019 • 77 min
It’s hard to enjoy life if you are weighed down with the belief that something bad is going to happen. How can you appreciate today if you believe tomorrow will bring misery? There is a path to a better today. This episode will give you some tools to make…
Purging negative emotions as soon as they happen
Apr 28, 2019 • 51 min
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to release the negative feelings that come up after someone upsets you? Or after you do something stupid and start all that inner dialogue? You shouldn’t have to walk around for days or weeks carrying around the emotions…
Wanting your partner to just stop doing that thing. Are Jealousy or other feelings creeping in?
Apr 21, 2019 • 63 min
What do you do when you’re partner does something you don’t like? Do you stay focused on their behavior and try to make them change it? Or do you shift your focus on what you can control and do what you can for yourself so that your partner can no longer…
Dissolving love and connection by repressing thoughts and emotions with those you love
Apr 14, 2019 • 66 min
If you are driven by a fear of being alone and choose to repress your thoughts and feelings, avoiding conflict and trying to keep the peace, you’ll find your relationships slipping into the abyss. The ones you are closest to should be the ones you can…
Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
Apr 7, 2019 • 62 min
If you show compassion toward someone who then takes advantage of that compassion, do you back off on being kind, helpful, and accommodating? Or do you try even harder by showing them even more compassion in hopes they will finally “see the light”? In…
When you’re told to just accept your partner’s emotional affair
Mar 31, 2019 • 54 min
If your partner were having an emotional affair, would you know it? What would happen if their ex came into the picture, and they shared laughs and quality time together, would it bother you? Today is jam packed with a lot of lessons about this subject…
The regrets and upsets from the past that you just can’t seem to get over
Mar 24, 2019 • 57 min
Do you have any regrets? Are you upset about your behavior or a loved one’s behavior from long ago and just can’t seem to get over it? Who you were in the past doesn’t equate to who you are today. If you are going to get past some of the regrets or upsets…
Always Defending Yourself - Introduction to the Love and Abuse podcast
Mar 20, 2019 • 25 min
The Love and Abuse podcast is about poisonous communication and toxic behavior. This is a bonus episode on The Overwhelmed Brain feed just in case you haven’t had a chance to tune into Love and Abuse. This episode is about always defending yourself with…
The sacred components of personal boundaries and why you should define and enforce them whenever possible
Mar 17, 2019 • 61 min
When you learn what your boundaries are and why enforcing them makes you a happier, more fulfilled person, your life changes. It’s time to change your life!
How to create the life you want
Mar 10, 2019 • 48 min
If you want true happiness, you might have to do the scariest thing imaginable: Show up and express the most authentic version of yourself. That can be scary and difficult, and that’s why it’s important to address and figure out what it entails and how to…
When tiny compromises lead to resentments
Mar 3, 2019 • 57 min
Do you make small compromises with the people you love so that they will like or love you more? There are two ways to compromise: One has attached resentments, the other doesn’t. I’ll give you one guess which method of compromise works better for the…
When you can’t fully commit just in case there’s something better
Feb 24, 2019 • 54 min
What if there’s a better job or partner out there for you? Why in the world would you commit to what you have when there’s a chance someone or something better could come along? Why commit to anyone or anything ever again when you are plagued with the…
When fear is the primary obstacle in your life
Feb 17, 2019 • 46 min
Many fears you have can probably be traced back to a lack of knowledge or exposure. Overexposure to what you don’t want creates fear. Underexposure to what you don’t want also creates fear. So what does it take to become more fearless? More knowledge and…
How family drama can teach you a lot about personal boundaries
Feb 10, 2019 • 72 min
hen your family has dysfunction, family gatherings can be quite a challenge. What do you do in the midst of family drama? Do you recoil and transform into the old, pre-personally-developed you? Or do you stand firm in who you are today and love then with…
Part 2 - Making decisions that are right for you and tackling obsession and overthinking once and for all
Feb 6, 2019 • 19 min
Part 2 of “Making decisions that are right for you and tackling obsession and overthinking once and for all”. Obsessive thoughts and over analyzing can lead to terrible (or no) decision making causing you to stay in a rut that you can never get out of (or…
Making decisions that are right for you and tackling obsession and overthinking once and for all
Feb 3, 2019 • 68 min
Obsessive thoughts and over analyzing can lead to terrible (or no) decision making causing you to stay in a rut that you can never get out of (or get out of really, really slowly). In this episode, I talk about what it takes to make decisions that are…
Enduring the spotlight of humiliation, embarrassment and criticism
Jan 27, 2019 • 71 min
What can you do when you are getting humiliated or criticized? Are there practical methods of dealing with embarrassing situations? How about hurtful criticism? There’s a lot to unpack here. This episode gets into the challenge of dealing with humiliation…
When a guilty conscious interferes with your decisions and keeps you unhappy
Jan 20, 2019 • 63 min
When a guilty conscience stops you from living a fulfilling life, it’s time to do something about it. In part 1, I talk about an email I received from a woman who was in an emotionally abusive relationship and feels guilty because she thinks she may have…
Should you leave or stay in a toxic environment - Is it ever wrong to leave the toxic person, place or thing
Jan 13, 2019 • 58 min
When is the right time to leave that toxic person, place or thing? You can have a toxic job, you can live in a toxic city, you can be married to that toxic person, but do you leave? Should you leave? I address something that I believe plagues us all at…
When people take advantage of you
Jan 6, 2019 • 48 min
What do you do about the freeloader hanging out taking advantage of your time, energy and money? How about people that just don’t respect you? Do you care enough about yourself to make sure people don’t treat you less than you deserve? An important…
Seven little habits that will change your life - special episode featuring Optimal Living Daily
Jan 2, 2019
Want to change your life? These habits may be just what you need to create the life you want. This is a small departure from your typical Overwhelmed Brain content because in this episode I introduce you to another podcast called Optimal Living Daily….
More self-help variety - The origin of upset, standing up to loved ones, apologies and forgiveness, shame and anger around death and more
Dec 30, 2018 • 60 min
Lots more to explore in part two of the self-help variety show. What you are upset about has an origin from the past, exploring that can heal the present. Do you stand up to your family for your significant other? Is it a good idea? How do you handle…
Self-help variety - Pushy people, jealousy, body image, self-worth, self-esteem, intrusive thoughts and more!
Dec 23, 2018 • 67 min
I answer several questions about overcoming jealousy, people that impose their values on you, self-worth and self-esteem, getting over insecurities about body comments, letting go of intrusive, distressing thoughts, expressing yourself and more! It’s the…
When you’re downright miserable at work
Dec 20, 2018 • 47 min
Some careers just don’t fit. You can be happy-ish, but not necessarily happy. Or, you could be downright miserable. I invite Scott Barlow from Happen to Your Career on the show to talk about what it takes to find a career you can be happy in AND…
Second chances - How do you know if it’s safe to take someone back into your life?
Dec 16, 2018 • 70 min
Do you give someone a second chance after there’s been a conflict, toxic relationship, betrayal or something else that you swore you’d never do again? What are some positive signs that someone has changed and deserves a second chance? What should you look…
What to look for when starting a new relationship
Dec 8, 2018 • 65 min
How do you know if the relationship you’re starting (or the relationship you’re in) is everything you want it to be? How do you know you aren’t getting led into yet another heartbreak? Learning the signs of a healthy, functioning, and even happy…
Giving up your power to toxic people
Dec 2, 2018 • 74 min
As the holidays come around, you will likely meet up with family and friends. And you may also run into that toxic person or people that you don’t look forward to seeing again. Dealing with toxic people requires a few tools so that you can make it through…
Living life on your terms
Nov 25, 2018 • 73 min
How many decisions do you make in your life that are actually based on what you want instead of how someone else will respond? Sometimes it takes a swift kick in the emotional behind to get moving on your decisions so that you can get out of the emotional…
The ‘take care of you’ episode: Showing up as the best version of yourself
Nov 18, 2018 • 84 min
What does it take to become the best version of you? What do you need to do for yourself so that you become more happy and more fulfilled? This episode is all about you and what it takes to become the most supportive, compassionate person to yourself.
Avoiding vulnerability and stuffing down emotions
Nov 11, 2018 • 68 min
When you carry around an inability to be vulnerable, you can build up an emotional resistance increasing the negativity inside of you. When this happens, you end up living a life that isn’t as happy or fulfilling as it could be. I explain this process in…
Why don’t people understand me? Taking responsibility for the meaning of your communication
Nov 4, 2018 • 70 min
It can be frustrating when someone doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. In fact, there are probably people in your life that you try to communicate with but keep ending up in arguments. In order to communicate with some people, you have to meet…
The Silent Treatment
Oct 28, 2018 • 55 min
Silence is golden until it isn’t. There are three main levels of silent treatment: 1. Processing time to figure out what you’re going to do with what you just learned. 2. Cool down time as a way to regulate what might normally be a heightened response 3.…
Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
Oct 21, 2018 • 60 min
Do you enable behavior that you don’t like? Is it possible that the people that cause you stress do so because you are allowing it in some way? This is a very important topic that may help you get your power back if you adopt and apply the message.
Decrease Social Anxiety
Oct 17, 2018 • 21 min
Social anxiety can be debilitating. In this bonus mini-episode, I talk about one way to start thinking about it differently so that it doesn’t have such a grip on you. Take the social anxiety survey at theoverwhelmedbrain.com/safe to share your…
I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
Oct 14, 2018 • 70 min
If they’re not like you, you don’t like them. If you’re not like them, they don’t like you. You have opinions, so do they, but should your differences separate you and cause you so much stress that you would rather lose relationships than accept people…
Finding your true path so you don’t end up living a false life
Oct 7, 2018 • 60 min
Trying to find happiness is hard enough, but trying to do it when other people are in your life (or are interfering with your life) is even harder. The first email I read is from someone who has a problem with his girlfriend smoking pot. He wants the…
Stop believing what hurtful people say to you: Transforming negative self-talk to empowerment
Sep 30, 2018 • 82 min
Hurtful people do a really good job of causing us to feel bad about ourselves. Not only that, we end up repeating what they said or did to us in our mind over and over again. The emotional trauma can last for months or years. In this episode I help…
How to avoid miserable relationships by knowing how to make better choices
Sep 23, 2018 • 65 min
When you end up in a miserable relationship, who’s to blame? Do you feel powerless as the relationship gets worse and worse? It’s vital to see the signs at the beginning, but it’s even more important what you do later on when you are heavily invested.
The phobia of commitments and making decisions
Sep 16, 2018 • 74 min
If you’re a commitment-phobe or someone who has trouble making and committing to decisions, you probably notice your life coming to a standstill more often than you want. The solution may be a simple change that’s a challenge to implement, but could…
Investigating gut feelings in relationships
Sep 9, 2018 • 61 min
When you get that suspicious feeling that a friend, family member or partner is doing something deceptive, do you investigate further or take their word when they say nothing is going on? When you have that gut instinct kicking in, it’s time to listen and…
Loosening the Emotional Grip Problems Have on You
Sep 2, 2018 • 67 min
How difficult is it to experience life to the fullest when you have a dark cloud of problems and challenges? In this episode, I help you tackle the problems in your life with many questions designed to loosen the grip emotional challenges have on you. If…
The fear that you’ll never experience something ever again
Aug 26, 2018 • 71 min
The best relationship, job or event in your life flashes by and now you are afraid that’s the best there ever was and it will never be that good again. When you use the words, “never”, “ever”, and “always”, you set up your present and future for a daily…
Signs that you are a difficult person for others
Aug 19, 2018 • 77 min
How do you know if you are the difficult one in any relationship? Whether it’s at home, with friends, or family, when everyone seems a bit unhappier than you think they should be, perhaps the common denominator is you.
The mess of mixed messages
Aug 12, 2018 • 67 min
In any relationship, mixed messages are the key to diminishing trust and certainty. When communication is based on deception to make others think one thing while you do or say another, you introduce confusion and sometimes even a bit of insanity.
When a dysfunctional upbringing leaves you with nothing but broken tools
Aug 5, 2018 • 79 min
Your level of function or dysfunction as an adult is almost always determined by the most unhealthy or toxic people in your family growing up. When you are raised by those who couldn’t love and support you as you deserved, you may have developed “broken”…
People pleasing your way to unhappiness
Jul 29, 2018 • 73 min
People pleasing can be exhausting. Spending time and energy trying to be what you believe other people want you to be destroys relationships and wears on your emotional well-being. In this episode, I help you understand just how damaging people pleasing…
Withdrawing love and affection
Jul 22, 2018 • 76 min
If you withdraw your emotions or give others the silent treatment, you may not be surprised to hear that this behavior, if repeated over and over again, can drain your relationship of love, affection, and intimacy. Over time, if not addressed, the…
When you just can’t figure out why you’re unhappy
Jul 15, 2018 • 71 min
What do you do when you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and feel like you’ve addressed the toughest issues in your life but still feel as if there is something missing? What’s the secret to figuring out what’s keeping you from feeling fulfilled? By…
Is Your Negative Self-Perception Making You Believe in Lies?
Jul 8, 2018 • 80 min
When you find yourself throwing away compliments in place of beliefs and self-perceptions that aren’t true, you stay in a self-perpetuating cycle of negativity and may never get out until you are ready to give up that sometimes you are just plain wrong.…
Increasing intimacy in your relationships and a comment on obsessive thinking
Jul 1, 2018 • 83 min
If you have difficulty being intimate, it might be time to stop looking at all the top ten lists on how to get closer to those you love and listen to this episode. I dive into what you need to do to increase your connection and intimacy with the people…
Should you leave your partner if the future seems bleak?
Jun 24, 2018 • 78 min
If you think something is wrong with the relationship but aren’t sure if you should leave or if you should work on things, perhaps it’s time to get an answer so that you can have some closure. In this episode I help you access the resources you need to…
Pulling out of the emotional rut
Jun 17, 2018 • 74 min
There is a path out of the rut of depression, feeling unworthy, unlovable, stupid, and any of a number of other thoughts and feelings that can permeate your life. If you’re in that miserable, stuck state, this episode may be a path to a door that shines…
When you can’t let go of guilt
Jun 10, 2018 • 50 min
If guilt holds you back from enjoying life and making good, healthy choices for yourself, it’s time to let it go and gain some forward momentum. Guilt suspends happiness and keeps you from doing what you really want to do in life. Could letting it go…
The vulnerabiliity of full self-expression
Jun 3, 2018 • 67 min
One of the main disadvantages of stuffing negative emotions is that, quite simply, you are probably not happy most of the time. Walking around with so much negativity can lead to mini explosions in your relationships. The key to clearing these obstacles…
I don’t let anyone get close to me
May 27, 2018 • 72 min
How much are you willing to risk to have the greatest relationship you can have? How much emotional connection do you want? It seems the more the reward, the higher the risk. In this episode, I talk about how staying emotionally closed up or closed off…
When your parent doesn’t make you feel worthy
May 20, 2018 • 62 min
Where does your self-worth come from if it isn’t instilled in you from your parents or caretakers? There is a path to a higher sense of self-worth and self-esteem. It may not be an easy path, but it does exist.
Are you capable of emotional abuse?
May 13, 2018 • 68 min
Would you know if you were being emotionally abusive? There is a question you can ask yourself to determine if you are being emotionally abusive or not. Once you know the question, you can change how you communicate with anyone.
Learning the process of figuring out problems
May 6, 2018 • 77 min
What are the steps to figuring out the challenges that come into your life? Is there a process? What happens when someone you know is going through a particular challenge, do you know what questions to ask? Join Matthew Bivens and I as we talk about our…
Releasing the fears and pain by walking the path of enlightenment
Apr 29, 2018 • 74 min
Whatever fears, pain, shame, guilt and other negative emotions are lingering inside of you are preventing you from reaching empowerment and walking the path of enlightenment. This episode is all about starting that path and releasing the stream of…
Empowering yourself to fearlessness
Apr 22, 2018 • 64 min
If you’re stuck in a state of constant fear, what can you do to become more fearless and more confident so that you can feel good instead afraid of what’s around every corner?
When you feel unlovable and unworthy
Apr 15, 2018 • 53 min
If you’ve ever come out of a relationship feeling unlovable and unworthy, it’s time to consider the source of this false belief and how you are sabotaging yourself for future relationships. Also, I read an email about conditional versus unconditional love…
When your partner changes their mind about your life plans
Apr 8, 2018 • 62 min
What happens to the relationship if after you make life plans together, one of you changes their mind? I received a letter from a woman who said that she and her husband planned on having a baby, but he has now changed his mind and no longer wants one.…
The life decision you regret - Never find true love again - Do you value yourself
Apr 1, 2018 • 72 min
1. That one decision you regret that changed your entire life for the better… or would it have been worse? 2. You lose the love of your life, now you know you’ll never be happy again. Can you recover from losing “the one”? 3. You filter you everything you…
Life changing lessons and working through introversion
Mar 28, 2018 • 54 min
What are the best life lessons to learn along your journey? How do you know what your next step is? What if you’re a little too introverted and can’t seem to find the courage to take steps that you believe you need to take? Matthew Bivens and I have a…
Exploring infidelity - Can the relationship survive the affair
Mar 25, 2018 • 73 min
Cheating might be the end of most relationships, but many couples have survived and thrived after the affair. There are many components to infidelity. In this episode, I explore the basics of cheating and what will allow your relationship to survive and…
The life-altering mistake - Controlling others can lead to betrayal - Things narcissists do
Mar 18, 2018 • 62 min
One huge mistake can change your life. When it’s time to make up for that mistake, prioritize what’s most important. Sometimes that means losing something you love. Controlling someone causes them to seek their needs from someone else. What starts off…
Emotionally unavailable - Express and heal - Cancelling Criticism
Mar 11, 2018 • 46 min
1. If your brain or your heart closes up at the thought of sharing your feelings about someone else, this first segment is for you. 2. It’s vital to have someone or somewhere to express the deep negative emotions. Finding that safe person with whom to…
When you lose your mentor - The biggest problem in the relationship - Control and Responsibility
Mar 4, 2018 • 66 min
1. What do you do when you lose your mentor? Here’s a trick you may think is a little out there. 2. What is the biggest problem in your relationship? Cheating or worse? To heal, you may have to work on something else first 3. You can only control you.
Find the Right Teacher - Everything is failing, nothing is working out
Feb 25, 2018 • 75 min
Have you ever listened to a motivational teacher to the point where you were ready to make huge changes in your life, but after a couple days you lost all that motivation? Motivational teaching is great for building you up, but where do you go after you…
Controlling upset toward others - Feeding dysfunctional people - Full commitment then re-evaluation
Feb 18, 2018 • 71 min
1. When you get angry or upset toward someone else, how quickly do you recover? Would you like to recover faster and get into a better space? I’ll walk you through questions you can ask yourself that lead to change. 2. How do you feed the dysfunction of…
Changing someone’s life - Tackling your insecurities
Feb 11, 2018 • 61 min
1. If you want to change someone’s life, sometimes all it takes is a heartfelt “Thank You” or compliment. But not in passing. A thank you or compliment that makes them stop and process it can be quite powerful. 2. If you are dealing with insecurities…
Breaking up for newbies - Enabling your own terrible relationship - Dating the emotional abuser
Feb 4, 2018 • 76 min
1. Without a history of breakups, your first major one can seem devastating and life ending. I help the newbie get through all the effects of the first major heartbreak. 2. When you think your relationship is horrible and you find yourself taking up all…
Valuing Your Partner’s Values for Relationship Longevity
Jan 31, 2018 • 34 min
Do you value what your partner values? If not, you may be in for a rude awakening when they suddenly get upset with you for seemingly no reason. What’s important to you may not be important to them, and vice versa, but it might be a good idea to make it…
Handling a Rejection - Combining logic and emotion - Leaving doesn’t mean not loving
Jan 28, 2018 • 61 min
1. How do you handle “no”? Do you suffer hoping the other person would follow you to the ends of the earth, or do you welcome the opportunity to be free of someone that didn’t want to be with you? 2. How much of your emotions need your logic? How about…
Stupid questions that heal - Dealing with the Sociopath - Endless codependence
Jan 21, 2018 • 57 min
Asking yourself stupid questions may be the path to healing and moving through the hard stuff in your life. We often have choices when it appears we don’t - stupid questions may lead to more choices. Sociopathic people in the workplace and at home can be…
Will letting go of my narcissistic mom destroy my self-worth?
Jan 17, 2018 • 54 min
Letting go of a narcissistic parent can seem like cutting off a limb to some people, but what happens right after the moment you make the decision to cut them out of your life? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me today to discuss this…
Getting along with everyone - Stuck in the marriage - Get offline to stretch your mind
Jan 14, 2018 • 68 min
1. Race, culture and background can dictate personality and behavior. A listener writes in and asks how to get along with almost everyone. 2. A woman asks if I have any words of wisdom for her regarding a drifting marriage and isolation from family. 3. If…
Work sucks. Help.
Jan 12, 2018 • 38 min
Getting into alignment with a career you want is a whole lot more fulfilling then trudging through each day trying to make the career you’re in work. I talk with Scott Barlow, a regular of The Overwhelmed Brain, on finding work that fits and creating the…
An Addict’s Mind - Is Suffering Optional - Avoid Healing by Judging Others
Jan 7, 2018 • 54 min
1. The addict has a different perspective of the world according to a recovering addict that writes in to the show. 2. We’re told that suffering is optional. I make an argument against it and for it. 3. Every judgment you have is a lack of acceptance in…
Resolving Before New Years - Are You The Problem - Free Will or Destiny - Get Ready for Next Year
Dec 31, 2017 • 62 min
1. Resolving issues before New Year’s resolutions is a better practice for some people. If you can’t keep your resolutions, it’s time to change when you make them. 2. Is she is toxic like her boyfriend’s ex’s or is he the common denominator? 3. Is free…
They love you but don’t like to say it - Getting over the guilt of how you treated your ex - You can manipulate but should you
Dec 24, 2017 • 71 min
Saying I love you shouldn’t be hard, but if it’s something that you or your partner can’t do, there is a path to love that doesn’t involve words. When you think about how you treated your ex, do you feel guilty? If so, segment 2 will help you cope and…
The Adapting Chameleon Personality - When they hurt you to get rid of you - Accepting or denying toxic family members
Dec 17, 2017 • 68 min
1. Are you a chameleon? Do you change as needed for every person and situation? If so, is it really serving you? 2. If someone has ever hurt you so that you would let them go, this segment may tell you why. Fear of your reaction is usually the cause but…
When your partner sides with their family against you
Dec 13, 2017 • 64 min
If your partner’s family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do? When you can’t feel safe in your own relationship because your partner’s priority is his or her own family, you may have some hard choices to make. An emotionally…
The cheater who went from kind to cold when caught - Ex won’t return even after I improve - Your intuition needs closure
Dec 10, 2017 • 70 min
1 She caught her husband cheating and blamed her & her family for the affair. He used to be loving and supportive. Now that he can’t get his way, he is cold & manipulative. 2 She wants her ex back but all he wants is sex. She complies but feels empty &…
Holding on to a lie to keep the relationship going
Dec 6, 2017 • 93 min
When you find out a lie that your partner has been holding on to for months or years, where does that leave the relationship? What if it’s a minor lie and your relationship has been going great? Or what if it’s a massive lie that you cannot get past?…
Attracting higher quality partners - Feeling sorry for those that abuse you - Try, try again or do or do not
Dec 3, 2017 • 62 min
1. Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date? There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss. 2. If you feel bad for your emotional abuser, you are more likely to stay…
Escaping the Real World - Kids and the Narcissistic Parent - The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
Nov 26, 2017 • 60 min
Are you a daydreamer? Is it healthy? Do you do it to avoid reality? It’s not all bad, is it? I talk about the benefits of skipping reality for a little bit as long as you connect with yourself in other ways. In #2, I go over some ways to deal with your…
Losing love and the general lies we tell ourselves
Nov 19, 2017 • 57 min
Black or white thinking can lead you to be untrusting of people and the world in general. If you’ve loved and lost and cannot figure out how to love as deeply as you once did, it could be a general distrust you carry around - seeing people as either safe…
Freeze instead of fight or flight - Learning what didn’t work with the ex - Healing the hole in your heart
Nov 12, 2017 • 67 min
Do you freeze when you get stressed? Learn what you can do to stop the freeze before it happens. What didn’t work in your last relationship that you can take with you into your next one? These questions will help you become wise for the future. If you…
The abuse victim’s perspective - Step-parents and step-children - When honoring yourself leads to loneliness
Nov 5, 2017 • 76 min
Why don’t abuse victims leave the relationship? I talk about the perspective of the abuse victim and no matter how much sense it makes to us for them to leave the abuser, it’s an entirely different reality for the victim. How can step-parents connect and…
Keeping Your Relationship from Slipping into Dysfunction
Oct 29, 2017 • 68 min
If you’ve had ups and downs with your relationship and you’re ready to keep it on track so it doesn’t start slipping back down, I’ll tell you ten steps you can take to make sure it stays healthy and continues to blossom.
Stonewalling - Expectations of friends - Emotional abuse follows you - Get away to get closer to people
Oct 22, 2017 • 63 min
Stonewalling is damaging to a relationship and can make it fail if whatever is shut down is never brought up to be resolved. Do you set expectations in your friendships? Should friendships be an equal, two-way street? It doesn’t have to be - not exactly.…
How to feed your brain - Why do abusers abuse? - Too scared to be in a relationship - Everything is temporary
Oct 15, 2017 • 72 min
The more you expose yourself to new things, the smarter you get and the more your thought processes change. Why does one abuse? This important segment will help you understand the perspective of the one who abuses. How can you enjoy your relationship if…
Guilt stops growth - Dad’s new girlfriend - Enabling the freeloader
Oct 8, 2017 • 58 min
When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it’s time to transform that guilt into something more productive. What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Is this something you…
Those “think positively” people - Little problems that lead to explosive reactions - What is a toxic person?
Oct 1, 2017 • 68 min
Positive thinking leads to denial which creates negative emotions in your body eventually leading to depression. What? Sounds like a great first topic. Little spats in a relationship that lead to massive blowups have an origin. Unspoken words are what…
Mother treats me badly - Early warning signs in relationships - You are not that - Bypassing intuition
Sep 24, 2017 • 67 min
Mom criticizes her, makes her feel unworthy, yet this listener still wants a relationship. What happens when there are warning signs at the beginning of your relationship but you ignore them? Do you change for someone else to keep them in your life or do…
When “I Know” prevents healing - How to be a safe partner - When others bypass your intuition
Sep 17, 2017 • 56 min
When you are so knowledgeable about your problems, you may have a tendency to be closed off to the solution. The “I know” syndrome can keep you from finding out the root of your emotional distress. When your partner can’t seem to trust you completely and…
The no-win conversation - Lashing out at others - Blame the cheater not yourself
Sep 10, 2017 • 65 min
Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say? I share how to avoid and get out of the double binds that show up in your relationship. Where does lashing out come from? It’s time…
Success via stress - Never too old - judging others when you do the same thing - The guilt of the infidel
Sep 3, 2017 • 58 min
Is succeeding in a stressful way better than not succeeding? Creating a deadline with accountability keeps you on task and even makes you more creative. It’s never too late to honor yourself. She did so with a toxic family member and is now starting a new…
Obsessing about people - Can your marriage heal if you grow - Online shaming
Aug 27, 2017 • 78 min
Obsessing about those you want in your life. What can you do? There may be a way out of obsessive thoughts and behavior. Can your relationship survive if you heal and grow but your partner is toxic? I read an email from someone in a manipulative…
See me, Judge me - Is your opinion really that important?- Stop Oversharing - What is No Contact?
Aug 20, 2017 • 90 min
Standing up for your boundaries can have the consequence of being called out. I address a criticism from a listener who calls me out. Can someone with a fear of abandonment be in a romantic relationship with someone who has a fear of commitment? I help a…
Trusting Your Gut - Can You Reconcile with Someone You’ve Hurt - Making Decisions Easier
Aug 13, 2017 • 71 min
Do you trust your gut? Do you want to? I tell you how in this first segment where I share how I almost got conned by a store clerk. In segment two, high school sweethearts get married then divorced ten years later. After a lot of emotional abuse and…
Blaming Others for Everything - Does time heal? - The overworking ADD partner - Hanging up on family
Aug 6, 2017 • 79 min
You will get the results you want as soon as you accept responsibility for your role in every problem in your life. Segment 2 talks about how almost every relationship issue you have with others is what needs nurturing in you. In segment 3 I read a letter…
Wanting someone who doesn’t want you - The price of inauthenticity - When you want someone to get help
Jul 30, 2017 • 60 min
When you pursue someone you want romantically but they don’t want you, the result is often hurt feelings or worse. In segment two, I read an email from a woman who eats out of anger because her husband doesn’t want to be with her sexually. Now she’s…
Criticism and how you are like them - How to start the therapeutic process - The damage to the soul when someone dies
Jul 23, 2017 • 70 min
What do you go through when someone points out something that you did wrong? How do you handle negative or critical feedback? How do you start the therapeutic process for yourself? I outline the steps to I suggest to starting a journey of getting the help…
So What You’re Afraid - Avoiding Unavoidable People - To Start Anew or Wait for the Old
Jul 16, 2017 • 68 min
Honoring your boundaries can be the hardest step to take in your personal development, and it’s also one of the fastest ways to start creating a life without toxicity and dysfunction. But what if you’re too scared to do it? Getting to a place where…
Feeling Unworthy by Comparison - Your Partner’s Controlling Parent - Breakdown of Narcissism - Recycling Dysfunction
Jul 9, 2017 • 78 min
Comparing yourself to other people is the fastest way to low self-worth and self-esteem. And why do we always compare ourselves to people that are better looking, wealthier, healthier and have more success in areas of life that we are still working…
Handling negative feedback - Stop worrying about everything - Enabling is disabling - Guilt and apologies
Jul 3, 2017 • 68 min
How do you handle negative feedback? There’s a golden opportunity to sink or swim when someone puts you down. Their comments don’t have to equal pain and a hit on your self-worth or self-esteem. In fact, maybe it’s possible that the one person you…
Does Authenticity Make You Cringe - Getting Past Your Partner’s Past - Building Rapport with People
Jun 25, 2017 • 69 min
When someone expresses themselves to you, do you cringe at the thought of you doing the same? Does the idea of sharing what they’re sharing make you feel uncomfortable? Does it stop you from living life the way you want with authenticity and…
Rekindling with toxic family - The long-term results of honoring yourself - Even the victim plays a role - Contact or no contact your ex
Jun 18, 2017 • 69 min
How do you go about rekindling with toxic and / or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again? Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of family past? There is a way to…
All those years wasted with your ex - When hope works against you - Under the stream of negative emotions
Jun 11, 2017 • 75 min
How can you possibly forget an ex that “wasted” years of your life? How can you possibly forgive them either? In this first segment, I read a letter from someone who married a big problem, and now she is upset at him for “stealing” so many…
Identifying Your Sense of Self - Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser - Diminishing Emotional Triggers
Jun 4, 2017 • 68 min
Your sense of self and identity can dissolve or even be rewritten over years of trau Your sense of self and identity can dissolve or even be rewritten over years of trauma, abuse, and / or dysfunction. Dis-integration can happen after a lifetime of…
When You Haven’t Achieved Life Goals Yet - Walking the Line Between Partner and Consoler - Waiting for Your Ex to Return to the Relationship
May 28, 2017 • 81 min
What happens when you reach that age where you thought you would have accomplished certain things in life but are nowhere close to what you set out to do 10, 20, 30 or more years ago? Do you get depressed? Do you have a mid-life crisis? Or… maybe…
Starting Sex Before the Bedroom - Achieving Closure After the Breakup - Attracting Authentic People
May 21, 2017 • 76 min
When does sex really start? When you’re taking off your clothes? The heated kissing or “petting” or… is there a lot more to it? If you are emotionally connected, you already know when sex starts - way before you ever step into the bedroom. …
Fear-Based Decision Making - Wanting more than friendship - Giving it all away for free
May 14, 2017 • 66 min
Do you make decisions based on what’s in alignment with the highest intention for yourself, or do you make them based on fear. One path almost always leads to turmoil, and the other leads to getting what you want out of life almost every time. …
Holding on to regrets and resentments - What is healthy communication? - When it can’t get any worse
May 7, 2017 • 88 min
What resentments or regrets are you holding on to? Sometimes years can go by while you keep a firm grasp of what causes you stress simply because you can’t let go of the idea that you could have made different choices in life. Or, could you have made…
When it’s time to call it quits in a relationship - Weaning family off you - Finding Purpose
Apr 30, 2017 • 72 min
Is it time to call it quits in your relationship? When do you know? Are there signs that you can look at and say, “Hey, that’s happening to us! Maybe we should split up.” Yes but it doesn’t mean you have to split up. In fact, listen together if you…
Don’t Want You in My Mind - Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me - Most Important Relationship Lessons - Standing in Other’s Shoes
Apr 23, 2017 • 62 min
That person just keeps popping into your head - someone you don’t like. They are a mind-nuisance and they just won’t go away. It’s bad enough you see them or hear about them, but why do you have to constantly think about them? In segment one…
What are Guilt and Shame - Fearing Rejection and Abandonment - Solving All Your Problems
Apr 16, 2017 • 69 min
Guilt and shame are two battles in two different dimensions: Internal and external. Internally, you can feel guilt for something you’ve said or done. Externally, you can feel the shame by witnessing others judging and blaming you for what you’ve done….
Suicidal Thoughts - You’re Not Alone - The Big Picture in Relationships - Taking Time to Heal Loneliness
Apr 9, 2017 • 81 min
Suicidal thoughts aren’t usually discussed out loud. They fester inside and sometimes the people around you have no clue what’s going on until it’s too late. However, I don’t believe suicidal thoughts in themselves are necessarily unhealthy. In fact,…
Emotionally Needy People - Tapping into your Foundation - I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice - Fighting Desires
Apr 2, 2017 • 70 min
What if you’re in a relationship where you need an emotional connection from someone else but they don’t seem to be in the same space as you. Sometimes the one you love will come home after a long day and you just want to shower them with love, but…
Failing the Challenge - Silent Abuse in Relationships - Depressed and Unmotivated - Appreciating What Works
Mar 26, 2017 • 74 min
What do you do when you face a challenge you believe you’re prepared for, but you fail instead? The feelings of failure can be debilitating, especially when you’ve spent a lot of time and energy working on self-improvement. It can feel like you’ve…
Committing to a Decision - Chronic Pain and Suffering - Trouble Receiving - Expanding Beyond You
Mar 19, 2017 • 71 min
Can you commit to a decision? How do you know if you’re making the right decision? Follow your heart is great advice… if you even know what’s in your heart. Segment 1 of this episode is all about making the decisions that work in your life without…
Surviving the Crisis - Self-Perpetuating Abuse - Building Resilience Through Criticism
Mar 12, 2017 • 75 min
In crisis, is there anything you can do to bring you into a calmer, more peaceful place? Actually, not usually. In fact, you may have to experience the full impact of the crisis before any calm or comfort can be had. However, you may be able to…
Settling for a job because you can’t find anything better
Mar 7, 2017 • 61 min
A career can take up over half your life, so why would you settle for one that makes you miserable? I’ve settled a lot over the years and I got so burnt out. I didn’t realize there was a formula to finding something I’d like and that might even pay well.…
Overcoming General Unease - When Nothing Works Out in Life - Questioning Trust in Relationships
Mar 5, 2017 • 58 min
Are you walking around with an undertone of fear, anxiety, panic, or nervousness? What do you feel when nothing in general is happening in your life? What’s your balance point or “homeostatic state”? When an uncomfortable or sad cloud follows you…
The Abused Mind and Mixed Signals in Relationships - Still Mourning - Overcoming Your Overwhelmed Brain
Feb 26, 2017 • 55 min
Sexual and physical abuse survivors develop an abused mindset which they take into relationships. This mindset sets them up to be strung along and tolerate bad behavior. Often, former abuse victims end up with abusers in intimate relationships….
Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts - Is Everyone Toxic? - The Real Issue in the Relationship
Feb 19, 2017 • 70 min
When obsessive and intrusive thoughts won’t go away, what can you do? You might feel better knowing that won’t mean a thing in a 100 years, but if resolving them isn’t that easy for you, then let me take you through a series of steps that break them…
Bad Luck and Great Fortune - Stuck with No Way Out - Small Lies and Big Problems - Advice For Life
Feb 12, 2017 • 64 min
When is a bad thing a good thing? When is a good thing bad? How attached are you to outcomes? I tell a quick Zen Buddhist parable that might make you think twice about the stressors in the world today, especially with the heated political climate and…
Judging Others - Moving from Guilt to Great - Guilt is a Path to Compassion
Feb 5, 2017 • 62 min
Judging others is a sign of something you’re struggling with or haven’t healed from internally. It is anger, sadness, or some other bad feeling that you haven’t yet processed that is coming out and being directed at other people. You can say, “What…
When love isn’t enough - Will marriage fix dysfunction? - Untying selfishness from personal boundaries - Tolerating abuse
Jan 29, 2017 • 80 min
Is love enough? Will it overcome anything that happens in your life? Financial struggles, family problems, arguments, abuse and more… will your faith in love be enough to get you through the tough times? I read a letter from a young man who wonders…
Racism does not make good rapport - Can Separation save your relationship_ - The standards of a good relationship
Jan 22, 2017 • 64 min
Racial sensitivity is prevalent in the first segment of the show as I read a letter from a woman who was slightly offended at my use of stereotypical language in the last episode. Lots to discuss here. I go over that and more on ways to communicate…
Why do we dream - The baggage of new love - You either give or take
Jan 15, 2017 • 62 min
What’s in a dream? Are there literal interpretations or is there deeper meaning that isn’t often explored? As always on this show, I go where others rarely do and look at dreams as a representation of emotions. What emotions are present in your dream?…
The Formula for Friendship - Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal - Trusting Relationships
Jan 8, 2017 • 72 min
Friendships are created and can last a lifetime, but they can also disintegrate, never to be rekindled. What makes a friendship? How do you know if your friends are truly the ones that will be there with you and for you through all the good and bad…
Forget New Years Resolutions, Let’s Talk About Commitment and Compatibility
Jan 1, 2017 • 69 min
Tune in to every other New Year’s podcast if you want to hear about resolutions. I’d rather talk about something you can think about the entire year when it comes to improving your life. Today’s episode is all about compatibility and how you can look…
A Journey into Jealousy - The Dysfunctional Family Holiday Season - Their Emotions are not Your Responsibility
Dec 25, 2016 • 77 min
Jealousy is a multi-faceted beast that can motivate you to say or do things that you may not normally say or do. It involves many emotions and can run (and ruin) your life if you don’t address the real reasons you get jealous. Sometimes a fantasy is…
The Emotional Healing Journey - To Express or Not To Express - Focus on Yourself
Dec 18, 2016 • 59 min
The emotional healing journey consists of many ups and downs. A listener asks me how I managed to get through my journey and what I can share with others on what to expect. Whether you’re starting your healing journey from scratch or still on a hot…
The partner who’d rather be anywhere but home - Honoring myself everywhere but home - The present moment
Dec 11, 2016 • 60 min
What do you do when your partner wants to spend more time away from home than with you? Is that a sign that there’s something wrong in the relationship? Is there a more serious issue, perhaps they don’t feel safe with you? In the first segment, I read…
The Toxic Episode - The toxic relationship - Validating toxic friends - Enabling Toxic Behavior
Dec 4, 2016 • 67 min
Toxic relationships - friends, family, coworkers, and more. What can you do if you can’t get away from them? Do you even know how to get away from them? How can you continue the relationship when you have no choice but to be with a toxic person? This…
The Spiritual Lessons Connecting the Past to Present - Letting Family Hit Rock Bottom - Alone on the Holidays
Nov 27, 2016 • 72 min
There’s a spiritual or philosophical correlation between an event that happened to you in your past and what is happening to you today. You may not recognize the significance of your behavior today, but when you are able to make the connection between…
Getting better at receiving - Recovering from abusive love - Living with the affair
Nov 20, 2016 • 48 min
Giving can feel so good, but receiving can too so why do so many people have trouble receiving? Do you reject gifts or other offers? If so, why would you take the honor to give away from the giver? If you’ve not thought about it like that before, this…
Selfish or self-sustaining? - The mom who wasn’t there for me - Obsession about my partner’s history
Nov 13, 2016 • 67 min
What is acceptable to you and what is not? What is considered self-sustaining and what is selfish? I read an email from someone who’s in constant battle in his mind, unsure if he’s honoring his personal boundaries or just being completely self…
Begin Healing From Childhood Sexual Abuse
Nov 6, 2016 • 49 min
Sexual abuse should not be taboo. Survivors carry the shame, pain and guilt when the reality is that the perpetrators should be the one carrying those things. The pain of past abuse is real and is doesn’t go away without acceptance, letting it come…
The Meaning of Communication - Guilt by Manipulation - Obsessing Over the Ex
Oct 30, 2016 • 70 min
What you say isn’t always what they hear. What they understand isn’t always what you conveyed. Who is responsible for the communication, you? Them? Both? Neither? It’s time to explore this topic. On Ask Paul part 1, I read a message from someone who…
The Pattern of Anxiety - Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You
Oct 23, 2016 • 68 min
With General Anxiety Disorder, is there a chance of getting free of the consistent feelings of anxiety and panic? Is there a remote chance of feeling better or even making it go away completely? Maybe… Also, I get a letter from a girl whose…
Laughing at Criticism - There Are No Terrible Children - Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
Oct 16, 2016 • 73 min
Can you laugh at criticism? Do you believe in yourself enough so that when someone calls you anything less than you really are, you can shrug it off without those sometimes hard to avoid feelings? When you get to a place inside where you are proud of…
Measuring Your Worth and Esteem - Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
Oct 9, 2016 • 81 min
Self-esteem stems from the level of self-worth you have about yourself. That’s great to know, but how do you raise either or both so that you can walk through life confidently and assert yourself when needed? There’s “street knowledge” then there’s…
The Silent Treatment - The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior - Permission to Hate
Oct 2, 2016 • 81 min
The silent treatment is like an acid that disintegrates trust and love because of the withdrawal of emotions (emotional withdrawal). I can’t trust you with my emotions because when you withdraw, I feel betrayed and abandoned. I also talk about the…
Indecision and Stagnation - Realizations of a New, Bad Marriage - Music and Emotions
Sep 25, 2016 • 67 min
Permanent decisions are not always permanent, we just think they are. Even marriage nowadays isn’t permanent, as much as we want it to be. And even when everything is going great, “stuff” happens and makes things not so great anymore which forces us…
Losing Your Identity in the Relationship - The Brilliant, Worthy You - Exes as Friends - The Right Partner
Sep 18, 2016 • 70 min
Nurturing yourself while you’re in a relationship decreases the impact breaking up has if and when it happens. The more you keep the connection with yourself and don’t lose a part of you in the relationship, the healthier you stay. You lose your…
The Bad First Impression - Living with Debilitating Pain - Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
Sep 4, 2016 • 69 min
Making a bad first impression is not necessarily your fault. You could be well dressed, have a great hair day, good breath, and even the best personality, but that mole behind your ear makes them think of their mean uncle and suddenly their first…
The Yeah But Mentality - Life After Abuse - Rejecting Former Friends
Aug 28, 2016 • 77 min
Ever have a friend that said “Yeah But…” to every good suggestion you made? How about when they actually ask for your advice, you give it, but they don’t do it because their excuse machine activates? There are two types of people I talk about in the…
Building emotional deficit - Can’t find or keep friends - In Love But Still Cheated
Aug 21, 2016 • 87 min
Should you receive for everything you give? You bet, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking. You can build an emotional deficit by giving and giving and not receiving in the way you’d like. Resentment can build and you can get very tired of being a…
My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late - Guilt About Leaving the Marriage - More Manipulative People
Aug 14, 2016 • 70 min
I talk a little more on manipulative people and share with you what might make them that way in the first place. Association and dissociation may play a role in their behavior. If you’re not familiar with those terms, you will be after this episode….
The Dysfunction of The New Normal - Offending Defensive People
Aug 7, 2016 • 66 min
Has dysfunction become the new normal for you? Are you in a relationship where your toleration for bad behavior is so high that you don’t even recognize what’s bad for you anymore? That sounds like a topic for discussion if you ask me! Also, I read a…
Strength in vulnerability - What if divorce is a mistake? - Never happy without someone else in my life
Jul 30, 2016 • 78 min
Vulnerability is the final step into your strength. Your emotional core contains all of your emotions, your shame, fear, guilt embarrassments, sadness and also your joy, happiness, peace and lot of other good feelings. But in childhood, we learn to…
The choice to confront - Release the pressure of negativity - can long distance love work
Jul 17, 2016 • 66 min
Confronting friends, family, the boss, the spouse, or any other dangerous people ;) can cause anxiety, fear and panic… but why? Why do we fear expressing what we want to anyone in our lives? If you’re brought up to shut your mouth and keep your ears…
When people don’t like you - Is it time to get a divorce - Some family isn’t healthy to keep
Jul 10, 2016 • 75 min
Not everyone is going to like what you bring to the table. Sometimes people have high expectations of you and you don’t deliver causing them to have a critical view of you. Is this your fault or the fault of the person who set up expectations that you…
The secrets that we keep - Feeling overexposed and hollow inside - Lonely when you are not alone
Jul 9, 2016 • 62 min
Where do you go when you have a secret that you believe someone else needs to know? Are you loyal to the secret teller? Do you tell the person who should know the secret? It’s a question to ponder, where do your loyalties lies and what should you do…
Getting control back - The small door out of depression - The unforever soulmate - Emotionally disconnected partners
Jul 3, 2016 • 85 min
Are you at a job that feels like you are being dominated or controlled? Is there a way out of this without quitting? There may be. I get a response from a listener who wrote before who took my advice for her about her work situation and everything…
You still have to do the work - Protecting your kids from dysfunction - The chain of thoughts
Jun 18, 2016 • 66 min
All this personal growth work is great and all, but you have to actually do the work in order for your life to get better. The main reason is because you need feedback from your environment. You test, observe, test again, take action. You learn…
Taking the opposite advice - I feel unlovable and unwanted
Jun 12, 2016 • 110 min
Anxiety, anger, sadness and other emotional advice on the internet seems to be the same where ever you look: Think positively, breathe, count to 10, etc. I’m generalizing of course, but many times, it’ll seem like you’re reading the same article over…
Learning your boundaries - Utilizing anger in a healthy way - Accepting the limitations of others
Jun 5, 2016 • 98 min
Anger can rise in you because of a violation of your personal boundaries, but do you even know what your boundaries are? Sometimes we feel anger and we aren’t even sure why. It’s a good time to learn what your boundaries are and at what point you can…
Acting from Integrity - Balancing personal growth with relationship growth - Knowing when you are out of love - Making the right choices
May 29, 2016 • 90 min
A listener calls me out and tells me, “You couldn’t take a couple minutes to answer me personally?” I read her message on the air and respond to it. I always do my best to act from a place of integrity… did I mess up? Also, I received an email from…
The Kids Episode - For Kids And The Kid In You
May 22, 2016 • 92 min
Kids get overwhelmed brains too. After hearing from a few kids that listen to the show, I decided to dedicate an episode talking about the hardships that kids face. From school and getting made fun of to home and some of the dysfunctions that can be…
Healing from New Age Thinking - The fears in honoring yourself - The stolen childhood of Adult Children of Alcoholics
May 15, 2016 • 90 min
Are you annoyed by affirmations? It’s how I start off every show. I take a few minutes to explain why that is. Also I talk about positive thinking and bridging the gap between emotions and reason. Next when you fear honoring yourself, what can you do?…
The relationship you have with yourself - Wanting the anxiety to go away - Enabling abusive people
May 8, 2016 • 82 min
When we talk to ourselves, we really are communicating with another part of ourselves, a deeper subconscious part that has within it a deeper understanding of what really motivates us in life. Sometimes we don’t want to communicate with a part of…
The Process of Self-Sabotage - You don’t have to forgive everyone - Anxiety all the time
May 1, 2016 • 82 min
Why do we fall off course so easily? When you prioritize tasks that take your time away from the things you want to accomplish, you fall back farther and farther until you are no longer making progress. In fact, you might even end up going…
Finding a career that works for you with Scott Barlow
Apr 27, 2016 • 44 min
Do you like the career path you are on? I invite Scott Barlow, an expert in life and career mentoring to help you get an understanding of knowing the path you want to take in life. He’s offering a free 8 day video course…
How your needs drive your behavior and motivation
Apr 24, 2016 • 40 min
Are all of your needs met? Do you know why you make the decisions you do? Our needs motivate our behavior. If you respond to life’s events from a low level of survival, it’ll be more difficult to succeed in a loving relationship or keep steady employment…
Depending on Abusive People - When Physical Pain Will Not End - Should You Take Someone Who Desperately Wants You
Apr 24, 2016 • 69 min
Being in abusive relationship of any kind, especially where you have a dependency on the abuser for one reason or another leaves you in a tough spot. Can you leave and still be okay, or are you so dependent that leaving will put you in a worse…
Codependency: The Subtle Erosion of Love and Connection
Apr 24, 2016 • 53 min
Codependence is when two or more people fulfill a need for each other that strengthens a dysfunction between them. You usually see this kind of thing between a helper / people-pleaser and a drug addict or an alcoholic. Of course, even someone who is just…
Resolving Emotions Mindfully - I’m Not Cheating So Whats The Big Deal
Apr 3, 2016 • 71 min
I watched a recent Ted Talk with Dr. Judson Brewer who teaches mindfulness to cure addictions. I was surprised to learn that I actually did the process he talks about to cure my addiction to sugar many years ago. I share that story and what you can do…
Keep Showing Up and Bringing Value - Dealing With The Pain of Lost Love and Starting the Healing
Mar 27, 2016 • 72 min
I got nervous when I was invited to speak on a world record breaking authority summit… but I did it anyway. But why was I nervous? I host a show that thousands listen to every week, so why is it different? When there’s no Edit button, things get…
Kids Humiliating Kids - My Boss is Irrational - Enablers Give Their Dependents a Free Ride - The Meaning of Spirituality
Mar 20, 2016 • 68 min
It’s an Ask Paul marathon! First, I’ll talk about how bullies love when you react negatively and what to do to squash the energy behind their bullying. This is from a letter from a kid who got bullied in school and was humiliated to the point where he…
You Cannot Control Every Thought - Taking the Leap Into The Improved You - Making Empowered Decisions Around Family
Mar 13, 2016 • 71 min
The quest for happiness and staying positive is fraught with sadness and negativity, yet the existence of those things is exactly what it takes to experience the totality of a fulfilling life. You can’t always be happy, and you wouldn’t even know what…
The Abused Mind in Relationships - A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out - Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
Mar 6, 2016 • 66 min
Getting into an abusive relationship is a quick path to a horrible future. Getting into a great relationship however can seem like the best thing that ever happened… unless they cheat, then it feels like an abusive relationship, sometimes. If you…
Spotting the Red Flags of Incongruent Metaphysical Teachings - Keeping Your Cool at Work - Empowering Others
Feb 28, 2016 • 62 min
Metaphysical malpractice was a term I was unfamiliar with until a friend of mine mentioned to me how a few metaphysical teachers were incongruent in their teachings. They say and teach one thing, but behave an entirely different way in their personal…
Healing And Growing From The Dysfunction of Childhood - The Depression of Sexuality
Feb 21, 2016 • 81 min
Childhood is one of those times that many of us wanted to enjoy, but simply couldn’t. Some of us had to suffer because of a dysfunctional upbringing, which caused us to create false beliefs about the world when we turned into adults. These…
Aligning With Fulfillment - The Disrespecting Unloving Relationship - Brain Trick For Eliminating Negative Emotions
Feb 14, 2016 • 66 min
There’s a reason we run into obstacles that stop us from getting what we want in life, and that has to do with what we are aligned with most at a deeper, unconscious level. When we are out of alignment with that, we fall off course and things fall…
The Emotional Debt of Financial Debt - A Listener Works Minimum Wage and Owes Two Hundred Thousand for College - You Are a Specialist
Feb 7, 2016 • 67 min
Henrik Ibsen said that “Home life ceases to be free and beautiful as soon as it is founded on borrowing and debt.” When I was in my first long-term relationship, I wanted to get married, and fortunately, so did she! However, I said we’ll get…
A Yes Person Can Say No - Fear While Talking to People - Even a Goldfish has Emotions
Jan 31, 2016 • 60 min
If you’re a “yes person”, you find yourself saying “Yes” to others. However, what you’re really doing is saying “No” to yourself. Doing this causes you to reach burn out after a number of years. You get jaded by friends and family taking advantage of…
Transforming the Jerk - Ask Paul About Waiting During a Long Distance Relationship - Making a Contingency Plan in Case of a Break Up or Divorce
Jan 24, 2016 • 62 min
There are jerks in our lives, at least that what we tend to call them sometimes, that just never stop getting on our nerves. We hope they act differently, but they never change their ways. Is there anything we can do? Well, we can open our hearts and…
A Perspective on Living with Chronic Pain - Coming Out in the World and Broadcasting Your True Self
Jan 17, 2016 • 68 min
How can you live with chronic pain? How do you get through the suffering? Is there a path to freedom or is it a never-ending event that will plague you for the rest of your life? Also, in the Ask Paul segment, I receive a letter from a gay man in his…
The Snapping Point of Lasting Change and Finding Compassion When People are Petty
Jan 9, 2016 • 63 min
We all have a snapping snapping point and it can change our world when it happens. I remember the first time I stood up for myself. I was 10. We had just finished wrestling, as boys tend to do, and I was done… but he wasn’t. I sat at the table,…
Standing Up For Yourself Is The Right Thing - Getting Resistance While Honoring Your Boundaries - A Listener Stops Listening and Calls Me Out
Jan 3, 2016 • 73 min
Brene Brown said it so eloquently: “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”Many years ago, I…
The physical symptoms of emotional turmoil - The Unfaithful Husband and the Wife Who Never Let it Go - A Story of Giving for the Holidays
Dec 19, 2015 • 70 min
So much of our emotional pain that doesn’t get expressed can turn into actual physical ailments that won’t go away until those emotions are expressed and released. Sometimes the damage can be permanent and we’ll need to seek medical attention, and…
Finding peace when so many people are suffering - Listener email about desperately wanting to save a relationship - inner emotion expressed outwardly through voice and movement
Dec 13, 2015 • 83 min
With bombings, shootings and other terrorism going on, how can you find peace and see the world as a better place. The news sensationalizes the bad but never glorifies the good. It’s okay to feel okay, and I’ll tell you why in this episode. Also, I…
“I Want to End My Life” - A Letter from a 14 Year Old Considering Suicide - Special Episode
Dec 6, 2015 • 68 min
A child wants to end her life but writes to me as perhaps a last ditch effort. I read her letter on the air and talk about suicide and what else there is to consider before taking such a permanent step.
Gain Empowerment and Inner Strength by Accepting that Death Could Be The Outcome
Dec 1, 2015 • 32 min
How bad can your panic and anxiety get? I had one panic attack in my life and it was at that moment a part of me died, opening up a new way of being. Do you resist or accept your fears? Can you accept the worst possible thing that could happen? If you…
The One You Feed - The Good Wolf Interview with Eric Zimmer - Then I Talk on Depression and Beliefs then Close the Show with Gratitude.
Nov 22, 2015 • 68 min
There’s a parable that reminds us that there are two wolves inside us all. One is evil (anger, jealousy, greed and resentment). The other is good (joy, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and bravery). The…
Changing Bad Habits, an Inspiring Letter from Someone with an Eating Disorder , and Jared Fogle and Antisocial Personality Disorder - or the Sociopath
Nov 15, 2015 • 56 min
Bad habits can be hard to change or moderate, but there are small steps you can take to make it easier to change a bad habit into a good one, or at least, a little less “bad”. Also, I received an email with a heartwarming story of inspiration where…
Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
Nov 8, 2015 • 76 min
Our emotions are attached to our memories. Our memories are attached to people and stuff. It’s that stuff that we hold on to that sometimes makes us feel bad, so why do we still have it in our lives? Pictures are a great example of this. Why keep…
Getting the Big Picture in Arguments, Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents, and Creating the Life You Want
Nov 1, 2015 • 69 min
Stepping out of the details so that you can see a bigger picture is one of the best ways to end an argument. When you “chunk up” into a broader perspective instead of staying “chunked down” and embroiled in the details, you’re able to step out of all…
Self-Worth, Self-Esteem and Choosing to Handle Situations as the Child or the Adult
Oct 25, 2015 • 64 min
Your self-worth starts when you interpret what your parents or caretakers think about you. If you interpret that they don’t value you, you don’t value yourself. As the years go by, your self-esteem builds from your level of self-worth. If you have…
Self-Compassion and Fearing Happiness
Oct 18, 2015 • 70 min
Self compassion is what you have for yourself when you stop being overly giving. And fearing happiness is another issue I talk about after receiving an email from someone who seems to have the perfect life. These two subjects go hand in hand, and…
Do You Control Fate - Recovering From The Lies You’ve Told - You Can Spot a Fake Laugh and inauthentic behavior
Oct 11, 2015 • 68 min
Is fate what we make or what we create? I talk about a quote from Carl Jung on this very topic. Today’s listener email has to do with being caught in a lie with family, and what to do in the aftermath. News and you is about how we can spot fake or…
The Long, Dirty Divorce Episode: Enduring The Emotional Drain of a Never-Ending Broken Marriage
Sep 27, 2015 • 76 min
Divorce is no fun to begin with, but when it’s dragged out for months or even years, it can be brutal. The stress and anxiety of the next thing and the next thing can feel neverending, and sometimes you have to take things on by yourself. Today I…
Adapting to Change and Accepting Death
Sep 20, 2015 • 55 min
When change happens, do you grow with it or suffer hoping it goes away? Growing through the changes helps you move out of stagnation and stop repeating old behaviors. Also, I talk about death and acceptance today too, and how accepting that…
Do You Forgive? And a Little Bit on Shame
Sep 13, 2015 • 49 min
Forgiveness is not about other people, it’s about you. When you can learn to forgive yourself, even when you aren’t the one to blame, you let go of the negative emotions so that you can take the learnings into your future. Also, I talk about…
Part 2 - The Seven Habits of Highly Overextended People
Aug 23, 2015 • 46 min
If you find yourself overwhelmed, stressed, or completely out of control in your life, then these two episodes will have you examining what you might be doing to create the chaos. Most of the time, we overextend ourselves and actually have a choice if…
Part 1 - The Seven Habits of Highly Overextended People
Aug 16, 2015 • 58 min
If you’re overwhelmed or simply have no more time in your schedule, then you are probably a highly overextended person. Today I talk about the habits that highly overextended people have and how you can avoid being overextended…
The Family Curse: Do You Become Who You Are Around Family, or Who You Used To Be?
Aug 9, 2015 • 54 min
When it comes to visiting family, who you are can sometimes regress into the child they remember you as instead of the fully capable adult that you are now. How do you know this is happening? When you’re afraid to be yourself around them, it’s…
Programming Your Future for Success
Jul 12, 2015 • 47 min
When you were a child, whatever fear came up, you figured out a way to survive the moment. These survival skills were very handy in adolescence simply because they worked to keep us alive! Sure, we probably weren’t going to die, but it felt like it!…
What’s Missing In My Life?
Jul 5, 2015 • 39 min
What’s missing in your life? I honestly don’t know, but I bet you do. In fact, I’m pretty sure that you’ve been asking the wrong question all this time. “What’s missing?” isn’t the question you should be asking. The real question is What’s…
The Problem with Resisting Your Problems
Jun 28, 2015 • 39 min
Resistance to your problems is very similar to denial. Both delay closure, and both create suffering. However, resistance creates denial, after all, you wouldn’t want to suffer any more than you are so you resist facing your issue and coming to a hard…
The 10 Components of a Satisfying, Loving Relationship - Part 2
Jun 26, 2015 • 56 min
A satisfying, loving relationship doesn’t have to be hard, but there are components that need to be included in this type of relationship in order for things to work out well. This is part 2 of a 2-part episode where we talk about the last 5 components.…
The 10 Components of a Satisfying, Loving Relationship - Part 1
Jun 25, 2015 • 62 min
There are probably hundreds of components that make up a great relationship, but I’m going to address some of the ones that make the biggest difference. Whether a friendship, family, or intimate partner, when you adopt and include these…
Stop Justifying Your Poisonous Beliefs - The Curse of Denial
Jun 21, 2015 • 45 min
How many times in your life has something happened that was so hard to believe, that it actually hurt to believe it? You know what I mean… it’s that truth you don’t want to hear. It’s like the people who can’t believe the holocaust happened because…
The Deception of Perfectionism
Jun 14, 2015 • 52 min
When you suffer from perfectionism based in fear, you become more and more miserable as time goes on. In fact, the more perfect and controlling you are, the more disappointed with life you get. Does it make sense to be perfect? Is it actually more…
Relationship Boundaries and Strengthening the Bond
Jun 7, 2015 • 58 min
There’s no escaping the sometimes hard to deal with arguments, tension and turmoil that can go on in a relationship. I received an email on this topic, and I cover everything from personal boundaries to irrational people. Whether you’re in a…
How Do You Show Up In Life?
May 31, 2015 • 42 min
How you show up for life is how your life turns out. So many people think they are a victim of circumstances, but when they connect the dots in reverse, they can the decisions and actions that led to their place in life now. How do you show up for…
Perceptions and Why You Aren’t Always Right
May 24, 2015 • 41 min
What you perceive to be true and what is actually true aren’t always the same. In fact, those two things can be so far removed from each other, you might wonder how you ever thought what you thought in the first place. You’re not always right,…
The Everyday Bully and Bully Behavior
May 17, 2015 • 59 min
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, and have all kinds of mannerisms that different people give different names for. In my opinion, anytime someone wants you to feel bad or forces you to do something against your will, it is bullying. I recently…
The Breakthrough from the Breakdown and a Note on Assumptions
May 9, 2015 • 48 min
Are you more important than your “stuff”? I hope you think so, because I know you are. However, when you value stuff a little too much, you tend to stress and get concerned about what will happen to you if your stuff gets damaged or…
When Those Deeper Negative Emotions Just Won’t Go Away
Apr 19, 2015 • 44 min
Expressing the deep, negative emotions that you’ve been holding onto from your past should lead to a release of the emotional energy behind them, and free you from the burden of holding onto the pain. However, sometimes what you express, vent or…
Setting Goals for People who Hate Setting Goals
Apr 12, 2015 • 58 min
I hate setting goals, so I had to figure out how I could get what I want in life without following the standard goal-setting steps we’re always taught. Just writing down a goal makes me cringe, but why? Well, I’m not very highly organized and full of…
When Others Aren’t Ready for you to Evolve
Apr 5, 2015 • 60 min
Unfortunately, the more we grow and evolve, the more others who aren’t ready to do the same will want us to stay the same. If you’re around friends and family who just can’t seem to get on board with you getting healthier, what do you do? Do you just…
The 5 Simple Realizations of a Peaceful Mind
Mar 29, 2015 • 49 min
With so many paths to a destination that seems impossible to reach, it’s hard to believe we can ever get there at all! I’m referring to peace, of course. Attaining a peaceful mind during a chaotic moment can be an exercise in futility, but…
What’s the Point of Life Without Joy and Happiness?
Mar 22, 2015 • 50 min
I tackle the question on finding purpose and meaning in life when you aren’t experiencing joy and happiness. Inspired by a message from a listener who is in a pretty dark place. He asked, “What’s the point?” There is purpose in life, and it’s…
More Motivation and Less Anxiety by Building a Healthy Ego
Mar 14, 2015 • 51 min
When so many spiritual teachers and personal growth gurus are telling us to let go of our egos, I come along and tell you to build it up! I don’t disagree that letting go of ego is a fantastic place to be, but after having experienced it for a few…
Sometimes the End of a Relationship is the Beginning of a New Challenge
Mar 8, 2015 • 47 min
Relationships end, unfortunately. But sometimes what you think is the hardest part (the breakup) turns out to be tame compared to what follows. Your ex may not want it to end so they do things that make you uncomfortable. Or, the one you…
Start Trusting Your Instincts
Feb 8, 2015 • 45 min
Do you trust your instincts? If not, why not? Let’s get practical and talk about where they come from and why we have them. Instincts are here to protect us, but sometimes we don’t listen. It’s time to start trusting a part of us that knows more than…
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do with Amy Morin
Feb 1, 2015 • 52 min
Amy Morin, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, wrote the book . After a few devastating events in her life, she made the list in hopes to help herself heal. After publishing it as a blog article, it went viral. And soon, millions learned the 13 things…
Annoyed by your job? Making the transition into something that fits you.
Jan 25, 2015 • 48 min
Your job can be a career you love, or one that you can’t wait to change. Either way, Scott Barlow, Career Coach and Job Transition Expert talks to us about some of the steps you can take to start moving in another direction with your career. Visit Scott…
Reducing Negative Self-Talk
Jan 18, 2015 • 48 min
If the voices in your head are saying anything but positive messages to you, then this is the show for you. Negative inner dialogue can prevent you from almost everything you want to do in life. So many opportunities will be missed, all because you…
Closing the Past to Open the Future
Jan 11, 2015 • 56 min
When you have negative thoughts and emotions floating around in your head more times than not, the choices you make going forward in life are going to be influenced. After all, whatever is swimming around in your head at the time of a decision is…
A Practice in Mindfulness
Dec 21, 2014 • 56 min
Practicing mindfulness has a lot of advantages that will help you become more alert, more focused, and more likely to finish what you started. I focus a lot on “focus” in this particular episode because we are simply an oversaturated, overstimulated…
10 Life Lessons You Should Already Know – Part 2
Dec 14, 2014 • 45 min
Part 2 of a two-part episode where we talk about the 10 life lessons that, if implemented, lead to peace and fulfillment. So many of us simply live day to day, trying to make the next day as good as the last, or better. The day to day can be…
10 Life Lessons You Should Already Know - Part 1
Dec 7, 2014 • 66 min
Part 1 of a two-part episode where we talk about the 10 life lessons that, if implemented, lead to peace and fulfillment. So many of us simply live day to day, trying to make the next day as good as the last, or better. The day to day can be…
Questioning Your Truths - The Philosophy of Belief
Nov 16, 2014 • 37 min
There’s a program running in the background of your mind that drives almost all of your behavior, and that’s called your “philosophy”. Your philosophy is made up of all the beliefs and assumptions that you have about the world. Many of these beliefs…
Judgment - The Ultimate Relationship Destroyer
Nov 8, 2014 • 56 min
Judgment can be one of the most damaging weapons in a relationship, as it tells the other person that it’s not okay to be themselves. This builds resentment in them, and will eventually crumble even the most intimate relationships. If it doesn’t…
What you think you know you probably don’t
Nov 2, 2014 • 55 min
Have you ever known something to be true, only to find out you were completely wrong? I’ve had arguments with people where half-way through I figured out I was wrong, but I still held my ground because of my commitment to winning. It’s time to learn how…
Honoring Your Personal Boundaries - Revisited
Oct 25, 2014 • 44 min
What does it take to honor your boundaries and live from that authentic place inside you? Do you earn the respect your deserve? You might be surprised to find out that respect from others happens naturally when you honor yourself and your personal…
Dealing with the Victim Mentality
Oct 19, 2014 • 47 min
There are true victims in the world, then there are chronic complainers who keep themselves in a victimized state, closing the door to progress, healing and growth. It could have started in childhood, or sprung up when they were older, but…
Empowerment Through Vulnerability
Oct 12, 2014 • 59 min
Emotions rise up from our core self, where we are both most vulnerable and powerful. When we can live from this core place inside of us, we can be authentic. When that happens, we are empowered to be our true selves. Align your thoughts and…
Infidelity - An Overlooked Warning Sign and Healing in the Aftermath
Oct 4, 2014 • 68 min
Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences you can have next to losing a child, at least according to one therapist I talked to. The pain that is created from the betrayal is inevitable, and much healing will be needed in the aftermath. I…
Releasing Emotional Triggers in Relationships
Sep 28, 2014 • 53 min
Emotional triggers are the surprises that we get when someone we love, or a situation, causes us to have a reaction that we haven’t processed yet. If you were yelled at as a child, and you attached fear to being yelled at, then you might get triggered…
Repressed emotions cause harm to the body
Sep 21, 2014 • 44 min
The deepest recesses of our subconscious mind are where our repressed, negative thoughts and emotions linger, causing harm to both our daily thought processes and our body! Want to know why thinking positively doesn’t seem to work sometimes?…
Practicing Presence in a World of Past Hurts and Future Worries
Sep 14, 2014 • 56 min
Presence is that state where the past doesn’t exist, and the future hasn’t been written. It’s what’s in the now. Eckhart Tolle and many other spiritual teachers talk about it. It’s that place where past hurts and future worries seem to dissolve, so…
Ending Suffering and Moving Towards Inner Peace
Aug 24, 2014 • 70 min
What is suffering? Is it the same as pain? Can they be separate, so that any suffering you experience can be diminished or eliminated altogether? Another deep episode where I share some practical steps you can take to stop suffering, and find your…
That “Blink” Moment, and Making the Right Decisions
Aug 16, 2014 • 43 min
The first decision that pops in your mind is what Malcolm Gladwell calls your “blink” moment. It’s that feeling or thought you get before you consciously think about the situation. Should you trust your blink moments? Are the true answers to…
Optimism, Pessimism and Creating the Life You Want
Aug 9, 2014 • 55 min
It’s okay to be pessimistic, especially if months or years of optimism don’t work. In this episode, we go over the underlying strategies or “programs” you have deep down that motivate you to move toward things you want and away from things you don’t…
Clearing the Path to Happiness
Aug 3, 2014 • 58 min
Attaining happiness seems to be the pursuit of so many people. Those who look outside of themselves seem to find temporary means, but those who go inside reveal happiness, where it was all along. I talk about that in this deep episode of…
How to deal with irrational people
Jul 27, 2014 • 44 min
Irrational behavior is one of the most difficult behaviors to deal with. When someone is being irrational, they don’t listen to reason, logic, or even common sense. They are laser focused to fulfill a need. And, until that need is fulfilled, or they…
How embracing the masculine and feminine in you leads to a fulfilling life
Jul 21, 2014 • 56 min
How is the masculine or feminine aspect of you running, or even ruining, your life? There’s a purpose to having either and both especially when it comes to relating to other people, whether in friendships or intimate relationships.
Building self-esteem and self-worth, while avoiding the ego trap
Jul 20, 2014 • 61 min
Building self-worth is something that happens in childhood, and relies on people and events outside of you, whereas building self-esteem is a culmination of all the years of self-worth, and is something that relies on how you feel about…
Avoiding and Eliminating Humiliation and Embarrassment
Jul 13, 2014 • 49 min
Fear of embarrassment and going through humiliation set the stage for today’s episode. There are steps you can take to avoid humiliating situations, and steps you can take to squash bad feelings after an embarrassing situation occurs. Even…
Letting Go of Attachments Part 2
Jul 6, 2014 • 57 min
We talk about letting go of the deeper, emotional attachments we have in our life in part 2 of a 2-part episode. From sentimental attachments, to people. The main focus in this episode is about the romantic relationships we can have trouble letting go…
Letting go of attachments Part 1
Jun 29, 2014 • 43 min
Attachments can be the distractions that keep us from working through the pain and emotional hurt that we carry through life. The more attachments you have, the more likely you are not looking inward to heal yourself of old negative…
The Challenge and Freedom of Forgiveness
Jun 16, 2014 • 48 min
This week’s episode covers the very powerful topic of forgiveness. How powerful is it? Well, some people live with the pain of not forgiving someone their entire life. The thought of letting someone get away with something, or admitting that…
Can Your Defense Mechanisms Keep You From Creating the Life You Want?
Jun 8, 2014 • 58 min
I talk about 9 common defense mechanisms we employ in our lives. Most are used as a substitute for full expression of our thoughts and feelings, however some are actually useful. You may do 1 or 2, or all 9! Regardless, by the time the episode…
How to live a more balanced life by accessing your inner strength
May 25, 2014 • 51 min
You have the strength and resources you need to create the balance that you deserve in your life. But there is a way to achieving balance that many people aren’t aware of. Well, 6 ways in this episode to be exact. Balance creates more…
Relationship love, acceptance, and the decision to leave or stay
May 4, 2014 • 43 min
Can you accept the behaviors of those you love? If not, are you still in the relationship? You have a choice to walk away from the behaviors you can’t accept in life, or stay and accept them. In the end, what you really want is closure. Knowing the…