The Cracked Podcast

The Cracked Podcast

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The Cracked Podcast is an extension of the editorial team discussions that shape the brilliant articles and sketches on Cracked. Host Alex Schmidt, along with an impressive roster of guests, uses the platform to identify and dissect pop culture tropes, debunk myths and generally try to reach the large demographic of people who would enjoy their site’s content if only they’d learn to read. Looking for the archives? All episodes older than 6 months can be found exclusively on Stitcher Premium, ad-free. Go to stitcher.com/premium and use promo code EARWOLF for 1 month free (and $5 off the annual plan!)
All The Ways Your Microbes Make You YOU
Jan 15 • 45 min
You are a human being. Which means “you” are actually one human plus the trillions of microscopic life forms living in you. And “you” are living in a civilization that’s only had microscopes since the 1670s, and only begun to understand what microscopes…
12 Movies With A Hero-Villain Dynamic That’s Now Insane
Jan 8 • 68 min
Bill Murray is an asshole. Or at least his “Ghostbusters” character is, if you consider the environmental ramifications of keeping a box of evil ghosts in America’s densest square mile of humans. That d***less EPA guy was right. Times changed. You know…
23 Awesome Beginnings To Start Your New Year Right
Jan 1 • 58 min
BEGINNINGS: they are important. So important, we put that first word in all caps. On this week’s episode, Alex Schmidt is joined by Cracked editors Kristi Harrison and Cyriaque Lamar for a look at the all-time best beginnings of…basically everything. From…
11 Everyday Heroes Who Beat Racism With Fun Pranks
Dec 25, 2017 • 39 min
As you look back on 2017, maybe you think the forces of evil had a banner year. Maybe you think decency took loss after loss, while cruelty went to the playoffs. Well what if we told you that while that was often true, there were squads of…
How THE ROOM Changed The Way The World Watches Movies
Dec 18, 2017 • 41 min
On June 27th, 2003, a $6 million movie premiered at two theaters in Los Angeles, earning a reported box office gross of less than $2000. That movie was called THE ROOM, and against all odds it became a midnight screening sensation, changed the way the…
Why Conservative Comedy Is Almost Impossible In Trump Times
Dec 11, 2017 • 88 min
Thought experiment: if you made a list of the biggest 10 comedy institutions in your life, what would be on it? Probably stuff like ‘Saturday Night Live’, ‘The Daily Show’, John Oliver, network late night shows? Well if you look back over that list, you…
9 Secretly Necessary Life Lessons For Modern America
Dec 4, 2017 • 78 min
Growing up: it used to be as easy as drinking your milk, preparing to work 1 job for 40 years, and not misusing the height of telecommunications (a landline phone). Now that all of that has changed (side note: turns out milk isn’t all that good for you),…
Best Episode Ever: 30 Rock
Nov 28, 2017 • 48 min
Thought experiment time: what’s the best episode of your favorite TV show? No matter what the series, from Mad Men to Seinfeld to Battlestar Galactica, it’s a surprisingly hard question to find an agreeable answer. But that’s what we’ve assigned Cracked’s…
All The Insane News Donald Trump Stopped You From Noticing
Nov 27, 2017 • 89 min
The news: if you’ve read it since the fall of 2015, it’s been nothing but Donald Trump stories, and Opponent Of Donald Trump stories, and the sports section (which is also kind of Trump news). That’s insane, right? Isn’t there an entire rest of the world…
17 Hit Songs That Are Secretly (Or Openly) Insane
Nov 20, 2017 • 73 min
Top 40 radio: it’s like if a robot became obsessed with our collective subconscious. And it’s always been dominated by fun, sunshine-y pop songs. Stuff like “Respect” (Aretha Franklin) and “Hey Ya!” (OutKast) and “Maniac” (that dancing movie). But are…
10 Revolutionary TV Shows That Almost Happened
Nov 13, 2017 • 83 min
Remember the LOST pilot? It was basically an incredible JJ Abrams movie with plane crashes, polar bears, and dreamy Matthew Fox. If only that first episode aired— it would’ve been a cult phenomenon— an all-time pop-culture “what-if?” But instead we got…
How Your Germs Control Your Politics (with David Wong)
Nov 6, 2017 • 106 min
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a charismatic populist leader rises to power by warning of immigrants who are are “filthy” and “bring disease.” It’s no coincidence the greatest deplorable leaders through the ages use the same coded language to…
3 Scientific Reasons People Think They See Ghosts
Oct 30, 2017 • 64 min
Whether it’s ghosts or the afterlife or god, most humans tend to lean towards thinking something funky and unknowable is out there, even if they can’t pinpoint what it is or prove that it exists. With ghosts, this seems to be especially true. In some…
15 Myths & Urban Legends That Deserve Modern Horror Movies
Oct 23, 2017 • 75 min
Aside from a couple original standouts, horror movies seem to trot out the same 5 or 6 monsters/killers/haunted board games each year. It’s The Fourth Life-Partner of Chucky (they’re not putting labels on things). Saw 3.14: Circular Saw! Oui-3: Revenge of…
17 Classic Movies That Were Saved By Studio Interference
Oct 16, 2017 • 66 min
In an alternate 1985, American movie audiences saw a movie called Spaceman From Pluto, wherein Eric Stoltz’s time-traveling DeLorean is sent back to the 80s by driving straight into a nuclear explosion — nuke the fridge style. Almost as if the writers and…
Which City is the Number 1 Movie Setting of All-Time?
Oct 9, 2017 • 79 min
New York. Paris. Tokyo. Miami. Even if you’ve never been to these cities (and sometimes, even if you have) the visions that come rushing to your mind at the mere mention of their names are images from movies. Woody Allen and Diane Keaton on a park bench…
5 Ways Donald Trump’s Lies Are Trying To Break Your Brain
Oct 2, 2017 • 94 min
Hey there, you awesome person you! Congratulations: you’ve survived several months of a Donald Trump presidency. And double congratulations: you’re pushing through this dark period despite having to experience it with a human brain. Our brains feel stress…
The Terrifying Truth About Why We Love Apocalypse Stories
Sep 25, 2017 • 68 min
​From Mad Max to The Road to the illustrious career of Roland Emmerich, it’s clear that the modern pop-culture consumer loves apocalypses. Climate change and the threat of nuclear war or worldwide super-virus make imagining an apocalypse easy. And if you…
15 Real Science Stories That Would Make Great Sci-Fi Movies
Sep 18, 2017 • 84 min
If you’re a movie fan in 2017, you’re hard pressed to find many original sci-fi films. There are a lot more Alien: Covenants and Blade Runner: 2o49s than Ex Machinas. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just sometimes sci-fi fans want to experience…
11 Under-the-Radar Comics That Ought To Be Amazing Movies
Sep 11, 2017 • 70 min
Another summer in the books, another summer of somewhat pleasing comic book movies. Wonder Woman was good! So was Spiderman! Guardians of the Galaxy was…a movie! What’s next? Oh no. Don’t say it. Justice League. [cue the sound of failure from The Price is…
The Astoundingly Complex Logistics of How Food Gets Made
Sep 4, 2017 • 82 min
If car commercials, beer commercials and presidential stump speeches were the only entertainment you consumed, you’d probably be pretty bored. You’d also think that American farmers are the life-blood of the economy and account for roughly 85% of the…
Twitter Alien @JonnySun On Creativity, Comedy, And Coping
Aug 28, 2017 • 88 min
Jonny Sun is Twitter-famous. Not in a Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber sort of way. He’s Weird Twitter-famous. He’s got half a million followers and he did it the hard way, by inhabiting the character of Jomny Sun, an alien visiting earth without any friends or…
​The Pros and Cons of Living in Grand Theft Auto and Skyrim​
Aug 21, 2017 • 79 min
​Imagine you’re just living your normal life, walking down the street and WHAM— a car slams into a traffic light and the driver bails out from the cabin, firing machine guns and rocket launchers at everything in sight. The police arrive at the scene,…
Cracked Gets Personal: The Most Insane Things We Saw In Emergency Medicine
Aug 16, 2017 • 67 min
On this inaugural episode of the Cracked Gets Personal, Brandon Johnson and Robert Evans look into the world of emergency medicine. This podcast features stories from two doctors, an ER nurse, and a physician’s assistant. They’ve got insane tales of…
How Our Personal Experience Articles Find Comedy in Tragedy
Aug 14, 2017 • 76 min
For years, Cracked’s Personal Experience section has been home to some of the highest-performing articles on our site. We’ve interviewed doctors, former cult members, and basically every kind of prostitute imaginable. Despite the success of these…
Why Society Is Very Bad At Helping People Choose Jobs
Aug 7, 2017 • 98 min
Do you know what you want to do with the rest of your life? Well the good news is nobody really knows. You’re not alone! The bad news is you were supposed to know by age 13 or so. And if you didn’t know back then, society’s been watching you flail around…
Checking In On The Modern State of Dungeons and Dragons
Jul 31, 2017 • 115 min
Thanks to those plucky kids in Stranger Things and the larger proliferation of nerd culture, we’re happy to announce that Dungeons and Dragons is officially cool now. And as with many things that are either retaining or finding success almost a fifth of…
12 Animals That Could ‘Planet of The Apes’ Us If They Tried
Jul 24, 2017 • 87 min
If sci-fi movies have taught you one thing about species with queen-based social hierarchies, it’s that you should always kill the queen. Same goes for insects right? Kill the queen and the ant hill or bee’s nest goes away. Sounds good, unless you’re…
How Would You Adjust If The Internet Just Went Away?
Jul 17, 2017 • 105 min
All the hip young kids are using a thing called the internet these days. In fact, if you’re reading this summary or listening to this episode, odds are you’re using the internet right now. But what if it all just went away? No podcasts, no turn-by-turn…
Cracked Movie Club: Raiders of the Lost Ark
Jul 13, 2017 • 68 min
Starting today, Cracked is increasing its podcasting output by 50%! In addition to new episodes of The Cracked Podcast every Monday and Kurt Vonneguys every third Tuesday, we’re proud to launch Cracked Movie Club, which can be beamed directly into your…
How Jaws And Alien Invented The Summer Blockbuster
Jul 10, 2017 • 89 min
Big cardboard cutouts in movie theater lobbies. Promotional cups at fast food restaurants. Kickass soundtracks featuring Seal. These things were once not part of our summer movie lexicon. And in the case of the tie-in song from Seal, they sadly haven’t…
20 Unheralded Geniuses Who Basically Invented Modern Movies​
Jul 3, 2017 • 103 min
For many people, filmmaking begins and ends with the director. We call it a director’s medium. It’s their vision that guides the entire production and it’s their name that gets the praise when a movie is good, and gets dragged through the mud when a movie…
Looking the Part - Soren and Daniel Analyze Bathroom Habits
Jun 30, 2017 • 39 min
Every morning when you wake up you (probably) do the same routine. In some order, you shower, use the toilet, shave and brush your teeth. In that respect, movie characters don’t seem to exist in the same universe as us. Typically we only see them there if…
The Weird Origins of Amusement Parks and the Summer Vacation
Jun 26, 2017 • 89 min
Believe it or not, the idea of the summer break wasn’t invented until very recently. Before kids got the summer off, school basically was the break from months of grueling farm work or any of the other countless horrors we subjected children to before…
Looking The Part - Soren and Daniel On Movie Scars and Tattoos
Jun 23, 2017 • 41 min
Admit it: the Harry Potter movies would be totally different if he didn’t have a cool scar. If Harry looked like Gary Oldman in ‘Hannibal’, Hermione and Ron be afraid to talk to him and even the Dementors would think twice before getting close to him. But…
17 Movies ​T​hat ​W​ere ​T​otal ​D​isasters ​Be​hind ​T​he ​S​cenes
Jun 19, 2017 • 91 min
Understatement time: movies are hard to make. Every movie from The Godfather II to Joe Dirt 2​ is the result of years and years of tireless hard work from artists, craftsmen, teamsters, executives and advertisers— all working in high pressure situations…
Looking the Part - Baldness, Side-Parts and Facial Hair
Jun 16, 2017 • 29 min
Every cheesy soap opera gives it away from the start— the dashing Dr. Iago Montana is back from the dead…with a goatee. We as the audience know: IT’S NOT HIM, IT’S HIS EVIL TWIN! SEND HIM BACK FROM WHENCE HE CAME! Again, it’s easy to spot this from a mile…
Bold Takes: Racism Wrong, It’s Probably OK to Punch Nazis
Jun 12, 2017 • 85 min
Checking the news right now, things are a little, how do you say…fucked. But there is some hope. As one of our guests puts it, “Rome wasn’t burnt down in a day.” Despite your Richard Spencers, your animated frog avatars and the whole extended cast of…
A Farewell To Cracked Editor-in-Chief Jack O’Brien
Jun 5, 2017 • 124 min
Serious Talk. It’s Jack’s last episode. After 11 years at Cracked, our intrepid editor-in-chief and podcast host extraordinaire Jack O’Brien is hanging up the cleats to tackle new projects, end world hunger and find the Zodiac killer. But that doesn’t…
14 Simple Changes That Would Revolutionize the World
May 29, 2017 • 94 min
The world is full of systems and orders that we never really question because they’ve seemingly exited forever. And we’re not talking about overthrowing the government or anything, we just mean basic things like how we take out our trash, when we vote and…
Humanity’s Greatest Moments Brought to You By Drugs ​& Booze
May 22, 2017 • 97 min
Even though drugs and alcohol have been a social lubricant since before we could write anything down, we like to think of history as this boring, stuffy museum exhibit where kings and queens drank iced tea, ate flavorless biscuits and had sex like our…
Find Full Archive of The Cracked Podcast on Stitcher Premium
Aug 18, 2013 • 0 min
Find Full Archive of The Cracked Podcast on Stitcher Premium