It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan

It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan

joeryan.com
Real, genuine, vulnerable, and honest talk. There are no quick fixes from trauma, abuse, addiction, PSTD, or anxiety. Knowing what happened to you is only part of the process, we have to relive the feelings, emotions, and scenes we avoid. When we stop blaming, making excuses and take responsibility for our own emotions, that’s the start of moving from victim to surviving, from surviving to survivor and finally to thriving and teaching. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/support


0030 - Love, Vulnerability, And Loss
Oct 6 • 24 min
When two people fall in love, it’s equivalent to an emotional child born; the relationship has infancy needs. The connection needs to be cared for and nurtured as you would a child. It needs love, attention, affection, and nurturing. As with all children,…
0029 - The Next Layer
Sep 17 • 14 min
Living without pain can feel more frightening than living with it. The struggle became a part of our identity, and we don’t know who we are without it. We are uncomfortable feeling comfortable and run to fill that space with something familiar, welcome…
0028 - Where Do I Start?
Aug 25 • 22 min
Questions show notes Today I answered a couple of questions I receive often. “Where do I start” and “are we ever fully recovered.” We start by getting quiet within ourselves and paying attention to what feelings arise. We do not attach to them; we pay…
0027 - Depth Is Difficult
Aug 11 • 21 min
There are so many different layers to this work. As we learn how to peel away layers of defensiveness, layers of protection, layers of hiding, and layers of fear. As we peel away the layers, the closer to the shame we get. The pain gets stored away inside…
0026 - Enmeshed Family System
Jul 22 • 20 min
Joe Ryan dives into the family system today on It’s Not You; It’s Your Trauma, and specifically the circle you are born into—where everyone in the family shares their emotions. Sounds simple…but it’s not. In a dysfunctional family dynamic, the shame is…
0025 - Self Parenting
Jul 8 • 27 min
It is not a child’s responsibility to fill a parent’s needs. When parents bring a child into this world, it is the parents’ responsibility to fill the child up with its basic narcissistic needs. To give the child a foundation of self-love to build upon.…
0024 - Stigma and Negative Talk
Jun 30 • 19 min
We have a massive amount of stigmas in this world based on wealth, status, and looks. We spend our precious energy, creating a facade, an appearance that looks impeccable to the world, a false self. A big part of recovery is overcoming stigmas and…
0023 - The Narcissist Within Us
Jun 24 • 20 min
The judgment that we had felt, the pressure and the demands to become what somebody else needed us to be so that they didn’t feel anything uncomfortable, they didn’t feel judgment any ridicule any self-doubt. Becoming what they needed us to be so that…
0022 - Suicidal Thoughts
Jun 16 • 30 min
We deal with many sigmas, and suicide is very close to the top of the list. There are few open discussions about it, which makes those who have the thoughts feel more alone and ashamed for having them. This episode deals with suicide, suicidal thoughts,…
0021 - Create Space, Create Life
Jun 9 • 16 min
What is the payoff in doing all this original pain work, going into your pain, trauma, and darkness? Is there a payoff? Yeah, there is. We do this work in layers. We take what’s disturbing the peace within us and start to look at that first. We slowly…
0020 - Fear and Roles
Jun 2 • 18 min
We don’t have the energy or desire to pretend anymore, but who are we, if we’re not acting and being in roles to cover up where we feel inadequate. We will find this out as we let go of who we need to be and start being who we were born to be. How do we…
0019 - Original Pain Work
May 28 • 15 min
Original pain work is the most challenging work you’re ever going to do. You can read as many books as you want. You can listen to as many audiobooks, you can listen to as many podcasts, over and over on an endless loop, it is comforting, it does feel…
0018 - Anger, Allowed To Have It?
May 19 • 12 min
Anger can set boundaries and set limits. Anger is your protection. Emotions are energy in motion, and anger has powerful energy behind it. When you fear other people’s anger and you fear experiencing your anger, you have no self-protection. Not only do we…
0017 - Numbing Out And Staying Stuck
May 13 • 12 min
We Stay stuck by numbing out. We have found ways to live our life where we avoid any resistance or bad feelings. We are stuck in limbo complaining about others. All that energy and time wasted could be better well spent owing up to who you are and how you…
0016 - Boundary: A Responsibility Line
May 6 • 8 min
Feel like you are losing your freedom, losing yourself, or losing your identity in a relationship? Its time to set some personal boundaries, take responsibility for your own needs, and not taking on the emotional responsibilities of others. Too often, we…
0015 - False Self and Fear
Apr 29 • 14 min
As children, our survival our life depended on our source figures, the people who raised us. We instinctively knew that we are helpless without them, and without them, we would die. We learn quickly the difference between things we do that anger and upset…
0014 - Isolation and Trauma
Apr 22 • 12 min
We don’t feel safe out in the world because we don’t feel safe within ourselves. We isolate out of fear and shame. What the world is experiencing now is something that we’ve experienced our entire lives… Self Isolation 
This quarantine feels very…
0013 - Under Quarantine
Apr 10 • 13 min
It’s a little past midnight, and I’m sitting here alone, looking out the window to the vast emptiness that is out there. This quarantine has not discomforted me in the way of anxiety and fear. I’m not sure why a complete calmness came over me. Perhaps its…
0012 - Emotional Junk Draw
Apr 1 • 16 min
Throughout our lifetime, we acquire many many things. We store these things in drawers, closets, storage bins, or wherever. In our minds, we keep saying, one day, I’m going to go through that drawer, that box, or that closet. We never really do. We’re…
0011 - Leaving The Family System
Mar 23 • 12 min
When you change who you are within a family system, and you no longer play the role you were born into, you’re taking a mirror and holding it up to everybody in that system. Holding up this mirror forces them to see themselves outside of their role,…
0010 - Connection With Self
Mar 11 • 14 min
There is a massive disconnect in the world today, where we seem to be least connected is the connection we have with self. We spend so much time looking for outward validation, and we never really take the time to learn how to validate ourselves.…
0009 - Learned Helplessness
Mar 3 • 14 min
Learned helplessness is a condition where a person suffers from a sense of feeling powerless. It usually comes from a traumatic event or series of traumatic events or persistent failure to succeed. It’s one of the biggest underlying causes of depression.…
0008 - Abandonment, Reflection and Self Mirroring
Feb 19 • 12 min
When we were abandoned as children, we learned that to matter to our source figures; we had to leave ourselves and become what they needed us to be. Abandonment will cause you not to have a sense of self. Your life becomes an endless quest to please the…
0007 - Internal validation , Owning All Of You
Feb 12 • 46 min
Drew from The Anxious Truth and I were sitting around testing out his new Podcast gear. In the testing, we got into a conversation about part of the recovery process. There were a few gems that came out in the discussion, so I decided to put it out as its…
0006 - Step Two, Exposure Time
Feb 4 • 13 min
We are hiding the parts of us that we cut off, the pieces of us that were not acceptable as children. To protect these parts of ourselves, we create a false self. This false self was our protection, protection from our authentic self being seen by us, and…
0005 - False Self, Shame and Separation
Jan 29 • 12 min
The false self is created when we have to cut off emotions that were unacceptable to our source figures. When unacceptable feelings and emotions we expressed, we were shamed and emotionally abandoned. Before logical thought was available to us. We cut off…
0004 - Step One, Fed Up And Stripped Down
Jan 18 • 16 min
Nothing was working for me anymore. All that has brought me joy and happiness no longer did, and I had no idea why. Motivation and desire were absent from within me, and all I could do was sit in sadness. I had bottomed out, feeling that nothing outside…
0003 - Blocked On Instagram
Jan 8 • 26 min
After recording an episode of The Anxious Truth Podcast we just kept talking. The discussion started with my account being blocked on Instagram, the reaction from friends and followers and how their response leads me to memories that had negative actions…
0002 - Validating From The Inside Out
Jan 2 • 14 min
Shift Your Focus From Internalizing How You Perceive People See You And Start Looking At How You View Yourself. Validate From The Inside Out. Website: joeryan.com Instagram: @joeryan Managed Wordpress Hosting Provided By iamhelix.com —- Send in a voice…
0001 - Pause For The Trauma Response
Jan 1 • 12 min
If we don’t take responsibility for our own emotions and reactions we will never heal. We will live this endless loop of blame and victimhood. We will find our world getting smaller and smaller, experience less joy, and become more reactive over time.…