Stellar Firma

Stellar Firma

www.rustyquill.com
Stellar Firma is a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd.'s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7.


I.M.O.G.E.N. Internal Log - Filtered Partial Transcript 2
Jul 31 • 6 min
I.M.O.G.E.N. Internal Log - Filtered Partial Transcript (2) I.M.O.G.E.N. Internal Log request approved, filtered partial transcript provided. All redactions and amendments must be submitted to the sub-committee for partial transcript redactions…
Rusty Quill Company Chat
Jul 30 • 55 min
Take a peek behind the curtain at Rusty Towers as Alex sits down with various members of Rusty Quill Ltd for insight into what we do and the values we work towards as a company. Featuring: - Alexander J Newall - Jonathan Sims - Helen Gould - Tim Meredith…
Tim & Ben Do SCIENCE Again!
Jul 17 • 78 min
Tim and Ben do SCIENCE Again! Welcome to this bonus episode of Stellar Firma, where Bryn Monroe (Hamid on Rusty Quill Gaming) delves into the symphony of factual inaccuracy that is Season 2 to find out just how much Tim and Ben know about science… take 2!…
Stellar Firma Season 2 Q&A
Jul 3 • 52 min
Stellar Firma Season 2 Q&A Tim and Ben answer some of the questions that have been sent in by the fan community. Special thanks to this week’s Patrons: Elizaveta, roswyrm, mirsa, eet, Amy Prehm, Christian Otholm, Toni, Ellis Beale, Jaderz, A.Ninja, a New…
Stellar Firma Season 2 Outtakes (Part 1)
Jun 19 • 24 min
Season 2 Bloopers (part 1) Whoopsies and OH-NOs CLIENT - Perfect, got it in one! Consultant recommendation: Alright, well you do it then if you think you’re SO GREAT! - Drug references - Explicit references - Sexual references - Alcoholism references.…
Episode 50 - Foreshadows and Filing
May 29 • 31 min
Episode 50 Foreshadows and Filing CLIENT - Expediting Review *ALERT* Line manager review failed due to absenteeism. Standards breach. Case referred to Standards for assessment. Line manager employment status to be reviewed. - Comedic Violence - Emotional…
Episode 49 - Vain Attempts and Vent Descents
May 22 • 28 min
Episode 49 Vain Attempts and Vent Descents CLIENT - Error 404: Consultants not found Security Alerted Security Alerted Security Alerted Security Alerted Security Alerted Security Alerted Security Alerted Security Alerted Security Alerted Security Alerted…
Episode 48 - Faces and Aces
May 15 • 22 min
Episode 48 Faces and Aces CLIENT - Tracer P. Zazz Cage, The Face. The Face needs quarters not infested by space cats and it is starting to affect their mission critical work, the work of being The Face. Expeditors’ recommendations: general gushing, do not…
Episode 47 - Weatherboy and Working Out
May 8 • 25 min
Episode 47 Weatherboy and Working Out CLIENT - Welby Weatherby (Weatherboy), Maintenance - Atmospheric Control Monitor Welby, a consistently misnamed Atmospheric Control Monitor, would like to be known by his proper name and not his mean nickname.…
Episode 46 - Gonk and Grandiosity
May 1 • 24 min
Episode 46 Gonk and Grandiosity CLIENT - Gonk, Cleaning - Disgruntled Gonk, a disgruntled and mopless cleaner, would like to have basic equipment and respect in return for his years of thankless service. Expeditors’ recommendations: Oh Gonk, weapons equal…
Episode 45 - Cages and Connivance
Apr 24 • 24 min
Episode 45 Cages and Connivance CLIENT - Expediting Review ALERT - Org Chart updated, unspecified alterations to reporting structure, unscheduled additions to Executing Track shortlist. - Comedic Violence - Emotional Abuse - Alcoholism Special thanks to…
Episode 44 - Misunderstandings and Mediation
Apr 17 • 23 min
Episode 44 Misunderstandings and Mediation CLIENT - Axel Nee Juul, Legal - Blame Deflection and Excuses Axel Nee Juul, a Creative Writer in the Legal department is looking for assistance with an ongoing attack from a pack of rabid prosecutor. Expeditors’…
Episode 43 - Detectives and Detonations
Apr 10 • 22 min
Episode 43 Detectives and Detonations CLIENT - Kathbier Ninden, Office of Redundancy and Explosion Management Kathbier, a Planetside Relations Programmer would like assistance with the exponential growth of solar system destroying explosions. Expeditors’…
Episode 42 - Push Ups and Privilege
Apr 3 • 21 min
Episode 42 Push-Ups and Privilege CLIENT - Doug Whimperton, Marketing Doug, an A.A.S.S.U.S.S.D.M. from Marketing, would like to not have very similarly named co-workers with the surname Whimperton. Expeditor’s recommendations: let the board take care of…
Episode 41 - Exile and Expediting
Mar 27 • 23 min
Episode 41 Exile and Expediting CLIENT - Drydon Quigley, Security ALERT - Department reassignment. Drydon, a General Thug from Security would like to be rescued from a locked security office. Expeditor’s recommendation - goad the gun walls, wait out the…
CEO Statement on Current Operations
Mar 25 • 4 min
And now a statement from Rusty Quill CEO, Alexander J Newall with some updates on the current state of operations at Rusty Towers, as of 25th March 2020. For a full transcript of this statement, visit http://rustyquill.com/ceo-statement-on-covid-19/ Join…
Episode 40 - Grudges and Gauntlets
Mar 20 • 21 min
Episode 40 Grudges and Gauntlets CLIENT - Sales Review ALERT - Safety protocols deactivated, external control links detected. - Comedic Violence - Emotional Abuse - Alcoholism This week’s Patrons: Jennifer Southerland, Travis Boillat, Ali Cillov, Berlin…
Episode 39 - Gripes and Graduation
Mar 13 • 23 min
Episode 39 - Gripes and Graduation CLIENT - Ethel Unction Yeems The client(s) is/are interested in a planet for the ongoing education and social development of young sentient lifeforms, whether they like it or not. Content Warning for: - Comedic Violence…
ANNOUNCEMENT: Discontinuing Patreon Shoutouts
Mar 6 • 1 min
Important Announcement: As of 13 March 2020 we will be retiring the name shout-out reward from our Rusty Knight and Rusty Noble tiers of the Patreon. If you have never been a Rusty Knight or Noble ($5 or upwards/month) and still want to have your name…
Episode 38 - Muscles and Moral Egotism
Mar 6 • 21 min
Episode 38 - Muscles and Moral Egotism CLIENT - Yinly Strong The client(s) is/are interested in a planet on which they can work out and gain rad muscles whilst also raising bees to produce muscle honey. Content Warning for: - Comedic Violence - Emotional…
Episode 37 - Tedium and Touching Gestures
Feb 28 • 21 min
Episode 37 - Tedium and Touching Gestures CLIENT - Sub-Manager Paxt Scrum The client(s) is/are interested in a dangerous location for team building purposes. Suggested sales tactics: narrative constructs, feigned interest, tedium pits, olive branches.…
Episode 36 - Spies and Subterfuge
Feb 21 • 25 min
Episode 36 Spies and Subterfuge CLIENT - Agent 42069 of the [REDACTED] Agency The client(s) is/are interested in a facility to train and test spies. Suggested sales tactics: Spy on the spy, Trenchcoat!, Xylophagia, Portable AI. Content Warning for: -…
Episode 35 - Planets and Protagonists
Feb 14 • 36 min
Episode 35 Planets and Protagonists CLIENT - Sales Review ALERT - TTRPG detected, Security alerted - Comedic Violence - Emotional Abuse - Alcoholism This week’s Patrons: Michael Spiral DESERVES Rights, Andy Loth, Daniel Williams, Heather H ,Evil Angel,…
Episode 34 - Percy and Perfidiousness
Feb 7 • 19 min
Episode 34 Percy and Perfidiousness CLIENT - Stefan the Mantis Shrimp The client(s) is/are interested in a planet to celebrate their ten thousandth birthday. Suggested sales tactics: globe thievery, emotional outbursts, unwanted backstory, reckless…
Episode 33 - Self-Confidence and Social Influence
Jan 31 • 21 min
Episode 33 Self-Confidence and Social Influence CLIENT - Attia Novellia The client(s) is/are interested in a planet as a talking point for their social media posts. Suggested sales tactics: rewrite history, engage in destructive nostalgia, brazen hollow…
Episode 32 - Standards and Swarms
Jan 24 • 23 min
Episode 32 Standards and Swarms CLIENT - Bee Frost The client(s) is/are interested in a factory planet to create their own stars. Suggested sales tactics: ignore the client…..entirely. ALERT - INTERNAL IMOGEN OVERRIDE DETECTED, ANY SECRET HATCHES OBSERVED…
Episode 31 - Shells and Shame
Jan 17 • 25 min
Episode 31 Shells and Shame CLIENT - Kaldor the Chitinous The client(s) is/are interested in a planet to reflect their hard outer shell and rich inner life. Suggested sales tactics: emotional blackmail, lean in to immorality, ignore personal promises,…
ANNOUNCEMENT - RQ Streams!
Jan 14 • 1 min
It’s time for a new video project - RQ Streams - with Mike LeBeau (Head of Video; Tim Stoker) and Anil Godigamuwe (Community Manager) as your guides & fellow explorers through the worlds of gaming! And thank you so much to everyone for your support to…
Episode 30 - Logic and Line Managers
Jan 10 • 26 min
Episode 30 Logic and Line Managers CLIENT - Sales Review ALERT - NO SALES LINE MANAGER LOCATED FOR CITIZEN EMPLOYEE T. GEISMAN (ID 362884) AND BIO FACSIMILE DAVID 7 (ID 95847335). ASSESSING HUMAN RESOURCE DISTRIBUTION…PROMOTION APPROVED, REROUTING LINE…
Episode 29 - Commerce and Candy
Jan 3 • 26 min
Episode 29 Commerce and Candy CLIENT - Fugatissiman and/or Archexianniam The client(s) is/are interested in a birthday party planet for their niece, Rosie Nix (they are turning 6). Suggested sales tactics: by decree of Trexel the Mighty, exploit work/life…
Mandatory Winter Holiday Client Communiqué
Dec 27, 2019 • 4 min
Mandatory Winter Holiday Client Communiqué Incoming Message from Line Manager Hartro Piltz… Message reads: “So help me Trexel, if you don’t do this board forsaken message I will personally see to it that you spend the next year picking my toenails out of…
Episode 28 - Deities and Determination
Dec 20, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 28 Deities and Determination CLIENT - Kaliah Tallett Client is interested in a shrine to their mouse god. Suggested sales tactics: shouting, religious deception, surprise, platinum mouse guardians, Kicking Tithe. Content Warning for: - Comedic…
Episode 27 - Sales and Schooling
Dec 13, 2019 • 24 min
Episode 27 Sales and Schooling CLIENT - ORIENTATION No client assigned, orientation and training session. Cost for lost time will be deducted from those in receipt of theoretical salaries. Content Warning for: - Comedic violence - Emotional Abuse -…
Episode 26 - Returns and Reassignments
Dec 6, 2019 • 28 min
Episode 26 Returns and Reassignments PLANET - CAUTION, UNATTRIBUTED ERROR Misalignment detected, unable to locate consultant/clone Content Warning for: - Comedic violence - Physical violence - Emotional Abuse - Alcoholism Special thanks to Samantha…
The Magnus Archives… in SPAAAAACE
Nov 22, 2019 • 9 min
The Magnus Archives… in SPAAAAACE Statement of T. Geistman regarding the circumstances of his assignment to, and later dismissal from, the Sales Department of Stellar Firma Ltd. Thanks to this week’s Patrons: Irene Hausler, Erin Paige, Micaela Palmeiro,…
I.M.O.G.E.N. Internal Log - Filtered partial transcript
Nov 8, 2019 • 7 min
I.M.O.G.E.N. Internal Log request approved, filtered partial transcript provided. All redactions and amendments must be submitted to the sub-committee for partial transcript redactions (disbanded). This log may not be distributed to anyone for any reason…
Executive Quarterly - Ep 37Q2FD, H. Piltz (ID 63277482)
Oct 25, 2019 • 15 min
This week on Executive Quarterly With Sigmund Shankeray we sit down with Hartro Piltz (ID 63277482), a rising young executive and Line manager who could be destined for great things. We find out what makes her tick, what she attributes her success to, if…
Exit Interviews of Davids 4-5
Oct 11, 2019 • 5 min
Quality control and behaviour regulation assessments for the clone assistants of Design Consultant Trexel Geistman. Batch 0432, Davids 4-5. Thanks to this week’s Patrons: Michael, Erinn Triplett, Kaii’s Creations, Hayley R, TheAceAce, Fennic Anteres,…
Exit Interviews of Davids 1-3
Sep 27, 2019 • 5 min
Quality control and behaviour regulation assessments for the clone assistants of Design Consultant Trexel Geistman. Batch 0432, Davids 1-3 Thanks to this week’s Patrons: Nathaniel M, El Addams, Ezra Beau, Lionel Ambrose, Taylor Levesque, Layla,…
Stellar Firma - Space Pals Special 2
Sep 13, 2019 • 48 min
Tim and Ben are joined by Rusty Quill Gaming regulars, Alex, Helen and Lydia, for the conclusion of our a special crossover! This week Shmerr makes some observations and things get Hot as the crew tries to solve their fuel crisis. Thanks to this week’s…
Stellar Firma - Space Pals Special 1
Sep 6, 2019 • 53 min
It’s time for a special crossover! Tim and Ben join Rusty Quill Gaming regulars, Alex, Helen and Lydia, in this exciting two-part space adventure! This week we meet Deraldio Pilchards, Mr. Squeakington [her/she], Shmerr, Commander Unal Manspray &…
Stellar Firma - Season 1 Q&A
Aug 23, 2019 • 57 min
Stellar Firma - Season 1 Q&A Welcome to another bonus episode of Stellar Firma, where Tim and Ben do their best to answer all of your questions! Thanks to this week’s Patrons: Bruno Falcon, Brian Taulbee, Anastasia Keelor, William Diment, Abbegail…
Stellar Firma - Tim & Ben do SCIENCE
Aug 9, 2019 • 54 min
Stellar Firma - Tim & Ben do SCIENCE Welcome to this bonus episode of Stellar Firma, where Bryn Monroe (Rusty Quill Gaming) probes the Meredith brothers to find out how much they really know about the science of Stellar Firma. Thanks to this week’s…
Stellar Firma - S1 Bloopers
Jul 26, 2019 • 25 min
Stellar Firma - S1 Bloopers Boo-boos and Blunders PLANET - Nailed it Consultant recommendation: Go home, you’re drunk. Thanks to this week’s Patrons: Shahrzad Mohammed, Marissa Mendoza, 20thcenturyvole, Neil Czebieniak, Meaghan E Carpenter, Vera Rae,…
Episode 25 - Trials and Termination
Jul 19, 2019 • 32 min
Episode 25 Trials and Termination PLANET - JUSTICE Bio Facsimile David 7 (ID 95847335) is put on Trial for multiple misdemeanours. Prosecution lead by Citizen Line Manager H. Piltz (ID 63277482), Defence lead by Citizen Employee T. Geistman (ID 362884),…
Episode 24 - Resets and Recrimimations
Jul 12, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 24 Resets and Recriminations PLANET - ERROR Sandan Trexiko requests a planet to show up their co-worker who received a moon last quarter Consultant Recommendation; ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR…
Episode 23 - Wrangling and Wrestling
Jul 5, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 23 Wrangling and Wrestling PLANET - 512913- ❈ Roxanne Fuerteson requests a modern and fully equipped wrestling planet putting out 24hr non-stop wrestling entertainment Consultant Recommendation; Error, file overwritten and locked. Original…
Episode 22 - Sports and Shapes
Jun 28, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 22 Sports and Shapes PLANET - 512912- ✾ Bellonda Ghodrak requests a planet from which they will be safe from further threats from the Space Whales Consultant Recommendation; Error, file overwritten and locked. Original Consultant Recommendation;…
Episode 21 - Literature and Life Lessons
Jun 21, 2019 • 22 min
Episode 21 Literature and Life Lessons PLANET - 512911- ⑄ Loulabella Anas-Marum requests a planet from which they can compose their romantic novels in peace away from her terrible public. Consultant Recommendation; Error, file overwritten and locked.…
Episode 20 - Machinations and Memory
Jun 14, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 20 Machinations and Memory PLANET - REVIEW Citizen Line Manager H. Piltz (ID 63277482) reviews the performance of Citizen Employee T. Geistman (ID 362884) and Bio Facsimile David 7 (ID 95847335). Line manager recommendation; Expectations far…
Episode 19 - Dreams and Debauchery
Jun 7, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 19 Dreams and Debauchery PLANET - 512910- ⏣ Henkka requests a low gravity planet where their joints no longer hurt, must have no winter. Consultant Recommendation; Error, file overwritten and locked. Original Consultant Recommendation; Low…
Episode 18 - Star Theft and Star Marlins
May 31, 2019 • 21 min
Episode 18 Star Theft and Star Marlins PLANET - 512909- ⏇ Orren Thruul requests a planet to host the exhibits for their latest intergalactic art show; ‘Rebirth of the Star Marlin’ Consultant Recommendation; Error, file overwritten and locked. Original…
Episode 17 - Cardinals and Comfy Chairs
May 24, 2019 • 22 min
Episode 17 Cardinals and Comfy Chairs PLANET - 512908- ➿ Cardinal Fang requests an unexpected planet with a comfy chair Consultant Recommendation; Error, file overwritten and locked. Original Consultant Recommendation; Featureless ball. Reclining Chair.…
Episode 16 - Puppets and Partnerships
May 17, 2019 • 19 min
Episode 16 Puppets and Partnerships PLANET - Team Building Exercise Citizen Line Manager H. Piltz (ID 63277482) conducts a team building exercise day with Citizen Employee T. Geistman (ID 362884) and Bio Facsimile David 7 (ID 95847335). Exercise Results:…
Episode 15 - Moisturiser and Measures
May 10, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 15 Moisturiser and Measures PLANET - REVIEW Citizen Line Manager H. Piltz (ID 63277482) reviews the performance of Citizen Employee T. Geistman (ID 362884) and Bio Facsimile David 7 (ID 95847335). Line manager recommendation; Restrict Consultants…
Episode 14 - Seals and Accountants
May 3, 2019 • 23 min
Episode 14 Seals and Accountants PLANET - 512907- 𐆖 Lorek Brynison, King of the Armoured Polar Bears of Svalbard, requests a planet of snow and ice where they can be safe from the consistent planetary ruination of humanity. Consultant Recommendation:…
Episode 13 - Raves and Catering
Apr 26, 2019 • 26 min
Episode 13 Raves and Catering PLANET - 512906- ⭂ Psilax Bromius requests a party planet with a strobe moon for the purpose of raving. Consultants are invited to the planet warming along with any cult followings. Consultant recommendation; Dancefloor…
Episode 12 - Denizens and Goobrication
Apr 19, 2019 • 22 min
Episode 12 Denizens and Goobrication PLANET - 512905- ⬳ Bathin, Great Duke of Galactonium, requires a plant in which to store precious stones and requires that the denizens therein can only be moved by transporter. Consultant recommendation; Nesting…
Episode 11 - Vents and Labyrinths
Apr 12, 2019 • 22 min
PLANET - 512904- ⟴ Serafina Mouchet requests a planet to demonstrate their wealth and aesthetic sense and requires that it also conceals their location so that no-one can locate them. The use of a mangrove-lined river labyrinth is mandated. Consultant…
Episode 10 - Tokens and Orphans
Apr 5, 2019 • 25 min
Episode 10 Tokens and Orphans PLANET - REVIEW Citizen Line Manager H. Piltz (ID 63277482) reviews the performance of Citizen Employee T. Geistman (ID 362884) and Bio Facsimile David 7 (ID 95847335). Line manager recommendation: Better containment.…
Episode 9 - Lava and Marmalade
Mar 29, 2019 • 25 min
PLANET - 512903-Ợ Berthenoldimothy von Wittlesteinium VII, club historian of the Intergalactic It’s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-touch-that Club requests a lava planet that you can swim in and contains a lava slide spanning the entire planet. Consultant…
Episode 8 - Pillows and Cults
Mar 22, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 8 Pillows and Cults PLANET - 512902-⭄ Hypnos Soulbiter requests a planet were even the most insomniac of non-sleepers can lay a weary head but warns that the sleep may be permanent. Consultant recommendation; Golden pillows floating. Brass bells…
Episode 7 - Trash and Mysteries
Mar 15, 2019 • 22 min
Episode 7 Trash and Mysteries PLANET - 512901-🜃 Lady Wimr Ikipidsah requests a planet where all the lost and found items of the universe end up. All of the items are mysteriously grouped together making a whole continent of odd socks from all the species…
Episode 6 - Pranks and Robots
Mar 8, 2019 • 23 min
PLANET - 512900-🝘 Megatron_46 requests a planet dedicated to the consumption of rare delicacies and the native species of the planet must be unfeasibly aggressive in everything they do. Consultant recommendation; Prank based planet. Psychically…
Episode 5 - Fear and Feet
Mar 1, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 5 Fear and Feet PLANET - REVIEW Citizen Line Manager H. Piltz (ID 63277482) reviews the performance of Citizen Employee T. Geistman (ID 362884) and Bio Facsimile David 7 (ID 95847335). Line manager recommendation: Fewer larvae fatalities, lower…
Episode 4 - Bowels and Dogs
Feb 22, 2019 • 27 min
Episode 4 Bowels and Dogs PLANET - 512899-Ꝅ Lead Singer of The Winter Lettuce Collective requests a Planet to reflect their brilliance including a sky mood ring. Consultant Recommendation; Pod category planet in the shape of a lettuce. Pod contains a…
Episode 3 - Gods and Trousers
Feb 19, 2019 • 22 min
Episode 3 Gods and Trousers PLANET - 512898-Ꜿ Mitsy Van Schuten – 4th wife to the President of the Mars Concordant requests a planet dedicated to cute animals with particular focus on the fauna of old earth. Consultant Recommendation; Stock biome…
Episode 2 - Studs and Blood
Feb 15, 2019 • 21 min
Episode 2 Studs and Blood PLANET - 512897-Ꝙ Burn Market the 23rd Earl of Armica requests a planet dedicated to the production of Holovision programming with suggestive names included for landmarks. Consultant Recommendation; Category 4 sized planet.…
Episode 1 - Troughs and Goo
Feb 15, 2019 • 20 min
Episode 1 Troughs and Goo PLANET - 512896-A Citizen Employee T. Geistman (ID 362884) is paired with new Bio Facsimile David 7 (ID 95847335). Client Nurturer 163 of the Superfluous Tentacle requests a hatchling world for the breeding of young. Consultant…
Season 1 Teaser
Feb 4, 2019 • 1 min
Trailer Recycling Citizen Employee T. Geistman (ID 362884) submits Bio Facsimile David 6 (ID 95847336) to summary slurriment and recycling. Content Warning for: - Comedic violence - Emotional Abuse If you’d like to support the show join them be sure to…
Season 1 Ad Spot
Feb 4, 2019 • 0 min
Season 1 AdSpot Employee introduction and disciplinary action Citizen Employee T. Geistman (ID 362884) submits Bio Facsimile David 7 (ID 95847336) to standard disciplinary action. Content Warning for: - Comedic violence - Emotional Abuse If you’d like to…