Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

anchor.fm/beachtoosandy
A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beachtoosandy/support


26: Parks in Milwaukee, WI
May 22 • 46 min
Is it possible for people to give their local parks bad reviews? Yes. And it’s as crazy as you’d think! Alex then reads conspiracy theory reviews that no one needs to hear. Whether you listen to this in your home, lighthome, or waffle home, you won’t be…
25: DMVs in Phoenix, AZ
May 15 • 32 min
Get your sunglasses emoji ready, because we’ve got some “cool” reviews for you. We’re reading the worst reviews of DMVs in Phoenix, AZ. Now imagine how boring an episode like that would normally be, and try to give this one a shot anyway. We end the…
Between You And Us: Episode 4
May 13 • 30 min
Ghosts, choking, vampires… wait, what podcast is this again? Oh yeah, the one where we take the mask off of humanity and reveal its truest form. And in this episode, we’re back to reading reviews sent in by our listeners! Come join us as we dive into our…
24: Post Offices in Washington, DC
May 8 • 36 min
In our most educational episode yet, we broaden your vocabulary as well as your understanding of the Geneva Convention. But don’t worry, there’s plenty of stupidity as we explore our nation’s capital for the worst post office reviews we can find. Then,…
23: Toy Stores in Chicago, IL
May 1 • 39 min
Welcome to Geppetto’s Geriatric Sex Dungeon. Grab a doll, pick a booth, and enjoy our tastiest episode yet! We learn about all the toys Chicago has to offer, and we explore the stupidest recipe reviews on the internet! This podcast is sponsored by Anchor…
22: Beaches in Honolulu, HI
Apr 24 • 40 min
In this week’s episode, we reveal our titular story. We also discuss condoms, feces, and panty liners. So basically… we’re discussing humanity this episode. We do that by reading reviews of both ABZ and LDC. No idea what those are? Listen to find out!…
21: Elementary Schools in Pittsburgh, PA
Apr 17 • 43 min
This podcast made me laugh so bad!!! I threw up. It’s time to kick off your Skechers and enjoy a new episode of Beach Too Sandy. While exploring reviews of elementary schools, we inadvertently explore our unfortunate middle school experiences. Enjoy the…
20: Nostalgia in Los Angeles, CA
Apr 11 • 49 min
Episode 20 is the extravaganza you didn’t know you needed! To mark the special occasion, we surprise each other with reviews of places that are close to our hearts. Hop in Guy Fieri’s convertible and take this trip down memory lane with us! Logo by…
Between You And Us: Episode 3
Apr 8 • 26 min
Cover your trouser! We’re back with some PHAT reviews, ranging from Starbucks to Mount Rushmore. This episode = was passable. Just don’t laugh too loudly or we’ll call security… and remember, fishing is NOT a crime. If you’d like to submit a funny review,…
19: Coffee Shops in Seattle, WA
Apr 3 • 49 min
In our quest to find the worst reviews, we may have found the worst one yet. As difficult as that was, we make it through. Next in our journey, we get lost in the Bermuda Triangle of Yelp pages, but we eventually find our way… For the sake of humanity we…
18: Comedy Clubs in Hartford, CT
Mar 27 • 41 min
This week, Lisa Lampanelli graces us with her voice… and a plea to our beautiful listeners. This is followed by plenty of tallywagging from Alex and hooting from Christine. And we cap it all off with the discovery of… ANTIMONTY! No garlic fries here, just…
17: Hospitals in Boston, MA
Mar 20 • 39 min
In this week’s episode, we take on communism, mary-juana, and the feminist agenda. It’s truly an episode for the ages. But don’t worry, we bleep out the worst of it. Thankfully, the world still gets to hear about Alex’s first (and last) Hooters…
16: Hardware Stores in Nashville, TN
Mar 13 • 46 min
If you ever want to blackmail us with fake audio pulled from various sound bites, boy do we have the episode for you! We provide you with amazing quotes such as “I’m going to flip my shit and burn down this place,” and “I typed out the word ‘sex’ a lot…
Between You And Us: Episode 2
Mar 11 • 22 min
The voices of a generation reading reviews sent in by fans of a generation. That’s right, we’re back and we’re engaging in civil dialogue. We’re reading what YOU want us to read. Instead of spending your hard earned money on over priced cold dessert…
15: Record Stores in Indianapolis, IN
Mar 6 • 45 min
RudeJuggalo, WeedLMFAO, alxdude9, and imalwayzcrazy444. Which ones are our old AIM accounts and which are new? You have to listen to find out! This week we travel to Indianapolis to visit some of our best friends, including Air Bud, the Indiana Sniffer,…
14: Libraries in Los Angeles, CA
Feb 27 • 37 min
Hooded figures, dead bodies, and squirt machines. Or, your average Beach Too Sandy episode. If you think this episode stinks, watch out for our next collab: Corpse-be-Gucci. This episode is ideal for morgues, autopsy rooms, body bags, etc. Logo by…
13: Comic Book Shops in New York, NY
Feb 20 • 46 min
Hear ye hear ye! Green grocers and proprietors alike! We have an episode that will surely challenge your views and give you a bad case of the sweats. Gather yourself below one of the Brooklyn Bridges, open up to page 1 of Christine’s Teen Zine, and pour…
12: Liquor Stores in Louisville, KY
Feb 13 • 32 min
In this week’s episode, the gang announces their next venture (unfortunately it’s not a liquor store in Louisville, KY). Please wish us luck on our imminent future as born again Belgians, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Logo by Courtney…
Between You And Us: Episode 1
Feb 11 • 15 min
In the first edition of our monthly Between You And Us episodes, we read reviews of your most suggested item. This episode is an exploration of the human body and its limits. You will learn so much from this episode, but you won’t want to remember any of…
11: Strip Clubs in Las Vegas, NV
Feb 6 • 33 min
WARNING! Do not let your ladies listen to this show. We will steal them from you. In episode 11 we go back to our roots: Vegas strip clubs. More specifically, the Chippendales show which helped launch the idea for this podcast. Now’s your chance to hear a…
10: Museums in Boise, ID
Jan 30 • 41 min
Welcome to episode 10 of the podcast where a couple of poorly dressed jobsworths read awful reviews. This very special episode is full of big announcements and big egos. We even answer the age old question: Which has more museums, Boise or New York City?…
9: Waffle Houses in Atlanta, GA
Jan 23 • 28 min
What’s the difference between Waffle House and your friendly neighborhood orgy? According to this week’s reviews, possibly nothing. Whichever one you’re going to, be sure to watch out for pink eye! “SIGNED ALEX AND CHRISTINE!” Logo by Courtney DeKorte.…
8: Dentists in Denver, CO
Jan 16 • 36 min
Psst… yeah you… ever heard of… Presbyterianism? Then do we have the episode for you. We explore Denver for the worst reviews of dentists. Then we spread the good word of Ouija board reviewers. Take a break from your job as a bad teeth model and enjoy the…
7: Bridal Shops in Houston, TX
Jan 9 • 24 min
Buckle up, folks, because things are about to get “unsettling.” Tune in to hear bridal store reviews from angry brides-to-be in Houston…and their dolls. Meanwhile, Alex introduces a couple toy-loving adults and expresses his own desire for a talking bird…
6: Pet Stores in Salt Lake City, UT
Jan 2 • 30 min
Lost the instruction manual for your new pet bird? You’ve come to the right place! This week we read pet store reviews in Salt Lake City before trailBLAZing down an uncomfortable path of sci-fi erotic fiction…kindle edition. Tune in for bad snake advice,…
5: Hair Salons in Ann Arbor, MI
Dec 26, 2018 • 16 min
Join us this week as we head to Ann Arbor to hear what people think of their local hair salons. Please enjoy, but watch out for the dead body out back. This podcast is sponsored by Anchor and Kristen and Ch(ill) Podcast Become a supporter of this podcast:…
4: Tech Stores in Jacksonville, FL
Dec 19, 2018 • 20 min
Wuz up! In episode 4 we explore the world of tech stores in Jacksonville, FL. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. This podcast is sponsored by Anchor and Kristen and Ch(ill) Podcast Become a supporter of this podcast:…
3: Car Washes in Minneapolis, MN
Dec 12, 2018 • 18 min
It’s episode three, y’all! Tune in for some…interesting…reviews of car washes in Minneapolis, MN. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. This podcast is sponsored by Anchor and Kristen and Ch(ill) Podcast Become a supporter of this podcast:…
1: Grocery Stores in Cincinnati, OH
Dec 12, 2018 • 18 min
Welcome to the first official episode of BTSWTW, featuring 1-star reviews of grocery stores in Cincinnati, OH. Logo design by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. This podcast is sponsored by Anchor and Kristen and Ch(ill) Podcast Become a supporter of…
2: Hotels in Kansas City, MO
Dec 12, 2018 • 22 min
Episode two is here! We cover 1-star reviews of hotels in Kansas City, MO. Logo design by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. This podcast is sponsored by Anchor and Kristen and Ch(ill) Podcast Become a supporter of this podcast:…
TRAILER
Dec 7, 2018 • 0 min
Episodes 1-3 coming 12/12! Logo designed by Courtney DeKorte Theme by Mavus White Become a supporter of this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beachtoosandy/support