Garret Talks To Himself

Garret Talks To Himself
A segmented podcast where Garret goes over anything and everything that comes to mind. He proposes rules the world should follow, talking points, and a few funny stories from the past. This show is primarily solo, but a few guests will show up, and you, the listener, are always welcome to submit audio clips in regards to the show, or any questions you may have for him! Support this podcast:

So So Suck My Toe
Sep 23 • 37 min
Hello and welcome to a new season of GTTH! Garret has figured out how to use his computer properly to record a delicious sounding episode, and he likes it enough to continue it for the time being! Media: Look Away Grievance: Golden Shower Discussion:…
The Laziest Episode
Sep 23 • 22 min
Garret takes a break from doing the regular show to post this lazy show. He features two audio clips that were SENT IN FROM LISTENERS! He’s very sorry about this one, and knows the next episode will be much better. Character Work The Matt Hocker Show…
Garret Talks to A Friend! “Cold Knocking!”
Aug 26 • 121 min
Another episode, and a returning Guest! Garret talks to a good friend from his school days, and they discuss music and bring up some memories they share, and even some they don’t! Follow Garret on Twitter @gtthpod, and be a part of the show by going to…
Worst Song of our Generation
Jul 12 • 52 min
Join Garret on a road trip of a lifetime with this continental podcast. What does that even mean?! Garret discusses a lot of trendy things like Ice Cream licking, Old Town Road. He tries Uber Eats for the first time, and watches The Thing for the first…
Take A Sleep
Jun 28 • 39 min
What’s up, dawg? Remember when we called each other nicknames? What a world! Garret despises indoor sunglasses and Iron Man 2. He also is bad with directions, and has a new life to take care of! Such an exciting episode, its a miracle it fit into one.…
Tighten Up!
Jun 11 • 34 min
As DJ Khaled says all the GD time, here’s “another one” for you fine folk. Garret has a quick rule about running, and then talks about The Shining! He wants to hear from you about school and the lunches they serve, and has a problem with marathons. Please…
She’s the Luigi to my Mario
May 27 • 39 min
Another one? Seriously? Well it’s here, regardless. Game of Thrones fans are the worst, and so are guys who say “old lady.” Sonic’s new movie is torn apart, and Garret HATES when technology doesn’t work. Obviously. Download Anchor and be a part of the…
Thanos is Farmin’ and Chillin’
May 8 • 45 min
New episode, ya freaks. Garret whines a lot right away, then brings up Clean Up Week and his daughter’s Soccer team. He also goes through Avengers: Endgame, so be wary at the end. Some singing as well! Subscribe on your podcast platform of choice.…
Rucka Sucka Ali
Apr 25 • 46 min
Ladies and gentlemen, you can calm your anxieties! A new GTTH is thrust upon you! Garret digs at the elderly (again) with a new rule for you. He also takes a moment to give a life update, so you should share your life with him as well. He also grieves…
Head-Smashing Rock
Apr 10 • 45 min
Welcome one and all! Garret brings another classic GTTH episode to your earholes. He speaks about how he was injured as a kid. He also lays a rule down about how to use your phone PROPERLY while driving. He grieves about a recent theater experience, and…
According to John Mayer…
Apr 1 • 25 min
Welcome one and all! It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood! So, why not add some of this delightful audio to it? Garret wants everyone to use a turn signal, and urges you to not be a boring person in conversation. And hey, if ya gotta fart, do it. Just…
Leave a Casket Down There!
Mar 25 • 38 min
Episode 33 - the age of our imaginary Lord and Savior. And the best episode to date (not really) Garret goes off on Country music (OBVIOUSLY), loses his mind over our species’ origins, and provides a rule about grammar. OH BOY, what a content-filled…
Episode 32 - Tirades & Turn Signals
Mar 15 • 51 min
Wham-Bam Thank Ya Ma’am! Garret is angry here, so BE WARNED! Problems with both work and residency are the main issues here, then he goes on a weird stream of consciousness talking about all sorts of things. A rule about sleep is thrown in there, too.…
Episode 31 - Cheeky Monkey
Mar 1 • 28 min
Look what the cat dragged in! A dead bird? No, a fresh episode of the podcast, you silly salamander! Garret gets right into it with a very important Rule, gets mad at other people’s work, and then talks about his daughter’s school performance. BUT WAIT!…
Episode 30 - Parking Lots?
Feb 14 • 40 min
Huzzah! Garret has brought forth an episode to please thine ears. Rejoice as he presents a parking lot Rule, sort of Discusses music, and Airs a Grievance about death (also involving parking lots). Plus, his friend Green drops another audio nugget on ya!…
Episode 29 - Why can’t I own Canadians?!
Jan 22 • 48 min
It’s here - the first official “Garret Talks to a Friend!” Green, a childhood friend, joins Garret on this beta bit and chats about growing up. They discuss pranks, teachers, friends, and a few other hot topics! (Please bear with the audio, as this was…
Episode 28 - Hashtag Relevant
Jan 13 • 41 min
Ooowee! Garret speaks out about check writers and how dated the practice is. He also discovered a long-lost segment regarding a cartoon character, and finishes up talking about #BirdBox on #Netflix! An old friend of his also left a message, and it’s not…
Episode 27 - Reformatted
Dec 28, 2018 • 49 min
Welcome to the newish “Garret Talks to Himself!” With more of a format, Garret thinks he can gather more of a following and have people help out with the questions he has. So a Discussion, a Grievance, a few fun stories, and - WHAT - a listener comment?!…
Episode 26 - For the Times…
Dec 17, 2018 • 42 min
Garret describes his life with lice followed by a Walmart story. He introduces a new segment called “The Airing of Grievances,” which is ultimately not any different than the regular segments of the show. Also discussed is the PC culture attacking…
Episode 25 - Bigger Longer and Uncut
Nov 30, 2018 • 64 min
Wowee! Garret talks about stereotypes and being sick. He also shares yet another Walmart story, a story about his night in a pool hall, how bad he was in band, and finishes the episode up with a few monologues he found online. Find Garret on Twitter…
Episode 24 - SORRY
Nov 11, 2018 • 37 min
Garret really lost his mind on this one. He discusses a scary movie, goes off on a sleep-deprived rant (SORRY), impersonates Donald Trump (SORRY), fails at creating a monologue (SORRY), goes off on a work conversation, and finishes off with a memory from…
Episode 23 - Big E Smalls
Oct 25, 2018 • 51 min
Garret confesses to stealing! He also admits to following trends, wearing dumb shirts, how dumb his childhood was (a recurring theme), donating plasma, and touches on some Halloween memories. What an episode! Please follow on Twitter @eldoterrag and let…
Episode 22 - Tumblr Posts Part 1
Oct 3, 2018 • 53 min
On this episode, Garret digs through his old Tumblr posts! The Cringe is real here! (Also sorry for the dead air). Please subscribe and share this little show o’ mine. Follow on Twitter @eldoterrag for more stupidity. —- Send in a voice message:…
Episode 21 - Imitation is Flattery
Sep 28, 2018 • 35 min
Garret Discusses Jurassic Park: Fallen Kingdom (sort of), a stupid young rapper, and finishes it up going back to his childhood and girls he liked! Subscribe, and share this show with your friends! Follow @eldoterrag on Twitter to find even more…
Episode 20 - The Flip-Flop Episode
Sep 18, 2018 • 53 min
Garret can’t settle in these blurbs about preschool cardboard bricks, being scarred for life in a movie theater, his admiration for Eminem, worship times in churches, hating smoking, and how a school bus conjured up a sad memory. He also can’t decide if…
Episode 19 - This Is Yet Another Episode
Sep 3, 2018 • 35 min
Garret talks about his childhood dreams, the movie Hereditary, yet another crazy Walmart story, and how some music makes him mad! Subscribe on your favorite platform for podcasts, follow on Twitter: @eldoterrag and let’s get jiggy! —- Send in a voice…
Episode 18 - Hard R Episode!
Aug 29, 2018 • 35 min
Garret earns that Explicit rating with this one! He brings up how a movie ruined his day, porn, paying for online game services, and a sad gathering of frogs. Thank you for listening to my show! Please follow me on Twitter: @eldoterrag and share the show…
Episode 17 - Lil’ Bit a Errthing
Aug 13, 2018 • 40 min
Garret goes over his road rules, parents who suck at parenting, the English language, and a deep personal story. Follow Garret on Twitter: @eldoterrag and share the podcast with your friends! Thank you for listening —- Send in a voice message:…
Episode 16 - Randumb! The Sequel!
Jul 24, 2018 • 36 min
Garret discusses needing to pee at a concert, why coffee isn’t available early, kids being wimpy, and how he was a dumb, dumb kid. Subscribe in your favorite Podcast app, share the show, and feel free to get @ me on Twitter! Twitter: @eldoterrag —- Send…
Episode 15 - The Fruitcake of Episodes!
Jul 9, 2018 • 30 min
Garret is mad about customer service, being disrespectful, and pooping! —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 14 - Randumb
Jun 26, 2018 • 20 min
Garret talks about Walmart Stereotypes, weddings, and lazy bike riders! —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 13 - Guitar Zero
Jun 7, 2018 • 18 min
Garret discusses his reign at Guitar Hero and how Facebook is stalking you! A short episode due to phone issues! —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 12 - The Smorgasbord!
Jun 1, 2018 • 26 min
Garret discusses how children refuse sleep, how he’s lame as a man, and how radio commercials are just bad. —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 11 - Graduation
May 21, 2018 • 8 min
Garret talks about how kids don’t need to graduate, and shares his thanks for those tuning in! —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 10 - Missing Children
May 21, 2018 • 13 min
Garret talks about kids running away, the creeps who do bad things to kids, and how he acted in stores as a child. —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 9 - Childhood
May 16, 2018 • 9 min
Garret gets deep as he revisits some moments from his childhood. —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 8 - Nightmare
May 16, 2018 • 10 min
Garret talks about Crimson Peak, Guillermo del Toro, and a horrifying nightmare. —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 7 - Allergic to Love
May 15, 2018 • 9 min
Garret discusses his hatred for allergies, his winter time fun, and his school crush! —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 6 - Hey Brother
May 1, 2018 • 12 min
Garret talks about his family and being protective —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 5 - Fast and Oh So Furious
Mar 31, 2018 • 4 min
Garret doesn’t like cars with spoilers on them —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 4 - Can You Take Me High Enough
Mar 30, 2018 • 6 min
Garret talks about singing in the car and how he takes it to the next level! —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 3 - HUH?!
Mar 29, 2018 • 13 min
Garret vents about his loud child coworker and how churches don’t help —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 2 - Garret, Interrupted
Mar 28, 2018 • 6 min
A co-worker has issues with how to talk like a human —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
Episode 1 - Hot For Teacher
Mar 28, 2018 • 11 min
Garret spills his feelings for a teacher, talks about eradicating lice, and how awesome his wife is —- Send in a voice message: Support this podcast: