DELETE THIS

DELETE THIS

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Hank is famous on the internet. Katherine does a wonderful job dealing with that.


97 - Chicken Dump Truck
May 28 • 41 min
Hank is on TikTok now and Katherine does not seem particularly pleased.
96 - Throat Jerky
May 13 • 37 min
We have entered into the portion of our parenthood when we cannot eat a treat without being interrogated for 45 minutes about the existence or non-existence of chocolate chips. Also, it is very dry in Missoula. Also, Hank made friend chicken and it…
95 - Your Squid Hole
May 5 • 42 min
Hank and Katherine talk a bit about Hank’s worries for social fraying based on the very visible ways in which people are behaving differently in public now. But also, we have to talk about the most liked Hank tweet of the entire DELETE THIS era…was it a…
94 - Brady and Beverly’s Beetle Juice Pod Episode 1
Apr 27 • 40 min
Hank and Katherine are Brady and Beverly the two new hosts of Brady and Beverly’s Beetle Juice Podcast! They are also themselves and they would like to discuss medicine in Georgian England, hot Australian men, and who is and is not allowed to exaggerate…
93 - The Baba Yaga’s Pillow
Apr 21 • 42 min
Good lord I’m not defending /DR OZ/ I’m just saying that lying is bad even when you’re lying about trash people. Also, let’s talk about our irresponsible quarantine purchases, Oliver North’s sudden and unexplainable interest in Hank, and our vacation…
92 - WE NEED TULIPS
Apr 13 • 32 min
Joe Pera is a delight, death is not a failure, and Hank has VERY STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT SQUIRRELS APPARENTLY.
91 - The Ring Toe
Apr 6 • 52 min
OH MY GOD SO MUCH HAPPENED THIS WEEK. From epic put downs to rap battles to waaaay over-sharing. It’s time for another episode of Delete This.
90 - THAT’S NOT A NOODLE
Mar 30 • 39 min
Every tweet these days is getting like 5x the engagement I expect…that makes me think we’re ALL ON TWITTER ALL THE TIME. The good news is, that means we aren’t watching Tiger King. Just kidding…everyone is watching Tiger King.
89 - So…
Mar 25 • 38 min
Katherine and Hank talk about Coronavirus a lot…almost entirely, honestly. But also there is BAT PEE!
87 - Delete This Whole Situation
Mar 18 • 47 min
Hank and Katherine would like to invite you into our blanket fort of worry…what else is there these days…
86 - Eat Sleep Play LAX Repeat
Mar 4 • 49 min
Coronavirus Misinformation makes Hank mad! So does housing policy. And Honda. And hand dryers! HANK MAY BE A LITTLE BIT MORE ANGRY THAN HE PROBABLY SHOULD BE.
85 - Just Like Milk
Feb 10 • 33 min
Hank and Katherine discuss Iowa, some mistakes that weren’t made, and DRINKS
84 - Noopers
Feb 4 • 39 min
Some mistakes were made! Michael Bloomberg shook a dog’s mouth, Donald Trump doesn’t know which Kansas City the Chiefs are in, there was a large boulder the size of a very large jellybean, and Hank ENGAGED IN POLITICAL TWITTER and that is just not ideal.
83 - The Worst Thing to do With a Cookie
Jan 27 • 51 min
We’re back…there were so many good tweets this week! Let’s talk about hospital apologies, your boring toast opinions, and Captain Picard!
XX - Explain Boobs to me More (LIVE in Atlanta!)
Jan 15 • 19 min
Hank and Katherine discuss some very odd circumstances, play a twitter game with the audience, and meet Linda the Turkish dog!
XX - A Trenchcoat Full of Goldfish (LIVE in Raleigh!)
Jan 14 • 17 min
Hank and Katherine talk about Downeaster Alexa more, also we play a Twitter game LIVE WITH THE AUDIENCE which was really fun!
XX - The Meet Cute (Live from St. Petersburg!
Jan 13 • 16 min
Hank and Katherine discuss Goop, their meet cute, and coquina in front of a big crowd of rowdy Floridians!
82 - sAVE tHe WoRLd
Jan 9 • 31 min
We say some things we shouldn’t about YouTube ads and also we try to get to the bottom of why hank loves to read hot-takes during breaking news.
81 - Space Drugs
Dec 30, 2019 • 40 min
We get a little relationshippy here, which I hope is OK. But we also make dumb jokes. And the song at the end is “Downeaster Alexa” by Billy Joel because WTF not.
80 - Detweeted
Dec 24, 2019 • 44 min
I dingus’d a lot this week, also Twitter was a source of great stress and frustration for me this week, but also, Twitter is the world and the reality is that the world is a source of great stress and frustration, so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to…
80 - Doogle Gocs
Dec 16, 2019 • 41 min
I am so sleepy I cannot think of anything to write…
79 - Christmas Pee
Dec 9, 2019 • 35 min
A special “Hank is compltely wiped after the Project for Awesome but cannot help but make this podcast” episode! Let’s not talk about very much at all! Mostly just spiritual milk and Christmas lights.
78 - Oops! I Dingus’d!
Dec 4, 2019 • 41 min
I mean, obviously we are going to be talking mostly about butts.
77 - Tax the Dentists
Nov 27, 2019 • 44 min
Gonna get in the weeds about social capital today. Also about crabs.
76 - The Binker
Nov 21, 2019 • 48 min
Party Man and Dangerous Girl take you on a wild trip through doggies and impeachment and socialism.
75 - Solidly Firth
Nov 11, 2019 • 29 min
Let’s get mad about college recruitment! Sorry for the technical difficulties!
74 - Two Hole Beers
Nov 5, 2019 • 42 min
We’re going to talk about Nazis in this one, so be warned.
73 - None Pizza with Left Beef Will Never Die
Oct 28, 2019 • 46 min
Today we will discuss moose, electric cars, memes, turkish delight and our upcoming TBBLOBNOERN tattoos.
72 - Katherine is a Very Rare Dragon
Oct 23, 2019 • 40 min
Let’s talk about campaign finance reform and how it’s impossible to be a good person anymore.
71 - Baby Gandalf
Oct 16, 2019 • 32 min
So, I got hacked, which was a huge pain in the butt and has taken over my life a bit! But now we’re back! Let’s also talk about…TwikTwoks, Twump, Flu Shots, whining about airports, and FUCKING PLUMS.
70 - Go Cougars!
Oct 7, 2019 • 36 min
Giant chickens, badass cougars, and terrible song lyrics.
69 - Gettin’ the Noodles Out
Sep 30, 2019 • 43 min
Hank is a TikTok star now, so all bets are off.
68 - TBBLOBNOERN
Sep 18, 2019 • 39 min
We’re gonna talk a little bit about jokes, and the conversation that is being had about them. Also I had a top reply to Rudy Giulianni, which was unpleasant, and also I AM A BWEESINESS MAN and wish to launch my new television show SPICE FACE.
67 - Put Me on the List for Dip
Sep 9, 2019 • 30 min
SHARPIES IT’S JUST SHARPIES THE WHOLE EPISODE IS SHARPIES
66 - American Aisles
Sep 4, 2019 • 36 min
Let’s talk for way too long about Brolene and grocery store shelves and socialism!
65 - The Butt Tweet
Aug 27, 2019 • 44 min
Today we’re joined by Nick Jenkins who will help us discuss everything from salty sweet foods to teaching at a university to why Twitter was suddenly full of butts!
EARTH BONES (EPISODE 1 AND 2)
Aug 19, 2019 • 32 min
It’s Earth Bones! And then Delete This! And then Earth Bones and then Delete This again!! Basically, in the beginning it’s Madison, and then it will fade into Minneapolis and it’s not going to make a ton of sense, but I had to share.
64 - i have an IDENTITY
Aug 13, 2019 • 47 min
There’s some really good stuff in here, I think. When it comes to bad news on Twitter…and big news…and things that we have lots of thoughts about, sometimes we have to ask if we’re the ones who should be talking, or if we’re the ones who should be…
63 - One of Your Tastemaker Friends
Aug 7, 2019 • 45 min
Hank and Katherine start off with some real fun! Number neighbors turn out to have been a really wholesome Twitter thing. But then everything went sour and suddenly things sucked again. Damnit.
62 - BONK BONK
Jul 29, 2019 • 47 min
Hank and Katherine talk toads and CATS and eggs and astrology and, yes, despite all of our efforts to the contrary….Gushers.
61 - Alan, You’re a Go for Pee Pee
Jul 23, 2019 • 49 min
In which Katherine has strong opinions about FaceApp that Hank would like to officially distance himself from…and also we’re very worried about America, but only briefly, because how the hell do you interface with this ugliness? Also, meal kits,…
60 - Perma Slurmpin’
Jul 8, 2019 • 40 min
Let’s make this one quick, but also funny. Hank and Katherine are going to discuss their friend’s viral tweet, Cream of Wheat, being escalated to Apple’s executive support, why Mola mola are great, what can be found in the “American” section of a…
59 - Cows Are Comin’
Jul 1, 2019 • 39 min
Hank and Katherine talk about the Twitter Hole Prank, Smash Mouth’s All Star (of course) and what a good dirty boy Jon Cozart is. Sorry our Beyonce episode never came out…you can find it at…the…patreon.
58 - Deleted by the Sun
Jun 17, 2019 • 52 min
Near the end of this episode we take a weird turn, so hopefully that isn’t too jarring. Basically, Katherine and I accidentally stumbled across the podcast/journal of a 12 year old girl and it was weirdly unsettling and emotional! But also, lots of…
57 - Keanu Just Sleeves
Jun 10, 2019 • 50 min
Twitter was rough for me this week, but we mostly don’t talk about that. Instead, we have John Green Soccer Manga to discuss…four word advice, very expensive computer monitor stands, and a great Keanu Twitter Hole.
56 - Horny for Arm Socks
Jun 3, 2019 • 37 min
Hank and Katherine discuss business ideas, concerts, sexual orientation, and people’s dumb food opinions.
55 - Multiple Exhalent Canals
May 27, 2019 • 53 min
Hank and Katherine talk about salps, monkies, the worst fork, idiotic injuries, embarrassing word confusion, and how ricotta is probably not even a cheese.
54 - 100% Frappy Chappy
May 13, 2019 • 40 min
Hank and Katherine discuss THE TEA…but only a little bit. We spend more time on the importance of birthday cards and whether Gush Milk is soda.
54 - Puff the Magic Daddy
May 6, 2019 • 44 min
Have we cried on Delete This yet? There’s a little bit of crying in this episode. Let’s get mad about elitist bread and Ken Jeopardy getting dragged into a Twitter fight he never even had, and probably some other dumb stuff.
53 - 600 Boxes of Gushers
Apr 29, 2019 • 40 min
In which Hank accidentally buys 600 boxes of Gushers. Also, let’s talk about spoilers, your luxury face bones, book titles, and the Ant-Man theory.
52 - Tactical Emery Board
Apr 22, 2019 • 44 min
Let’s talk about ocean garbage, Notre Dame, milking the gush, tactical emery boards, Antman, and flicking people off instead of flipping them.
51 - She Works Hard for the Gushie
Apr 15, 2019 • 52 min
So, we’re going to have some pretty serious conversations about loneliness and regressive politics. We are also going to talk a fair bit about Gushers.
50 - It’s a Peeve!
Apr 8, 2019 • 49 min
In which Hank and Katherine discuss peeves, april fools, Katherine’s library of sighs, speculating about what Putin thinks, twitter holes, writing books, and #taurusthings.
49 - Garfield’s Blessing
Apr 1, 2019 • 49 min
Let’s go down some Twitter holes. Let’s Cancel Bill Clinton…but NOT MAYOR PETE! Let’s meet Fiji Water, and play the first ever Delete This-Specific Twitter Game!!
48 - Torturing the Ducks
Mar 25, 2019 • 43 min
Hank gets mad at Twitter for its ability to destroy people’s faith in each other and constantly rewarding people for taking the most negative possible view of everything. But we also play a lot of good twitter games and have excellent moments of joy….
47 - Ugh….
Mar 19, 2019 • 49 min
Katherine and Hank discuss Hank’s relapse into using social media in a pretty unhealthy way as he gets real mad at things over and over again.
46 - Missoula Montana’s Bar Scene
Mar 11, 2019 • 50 min
I mean, who knows where we’re going to go next? Apparently a focus on the bad Mexican food and bar scene of Missoula Montana! But also…summoning circles, Ellen DeGeneres, and being led to enlightenment by you two year old. Join us…it’s fun.
45 - Chim Chiminey
Mar 4, 2019 • 45 min
Hank and Katherine are back after two weeks off and we have a lot to get through, so we’re just going to look at Hank’s most baffling, dumbest tweets. And there are some doozies! Also, so many draft tweets! Also, Katherine got mad at a toilet!
44 - Duodenum
Feb 12, 2019 • 52 min
I’m in an airport, I have no time to write this! I’m sorry!
43 - A Love Letter to Arnie
Feb 4, 2019 • 43 min
Let’s talk about cats, YouTube, Arianna Grande, and how to answer a knock on a public bathroom door. Also, I get mad about Audible and accidentally tweet my top tweet of the week.
42 - Stress Hives!
Jan 28, 2019 • 46 min
It has been a very long week! I have a lot to do, so I am not going to spend very much time on this episode description!!!
41 - LIVE from PodCon!
Jan 21, 2019 • 48 min
Hank and Katherine do their first ever live Delete This! Katherine is nervous…Hank is too, he maybe talks a little too much. We discuss phone books, cat weapons, Oobs, and Smash Mouth! Thanks so much to everyone who came out!
40 - NoobtFloobx and Choobll
Jan 14, 2019 • 40 min
Somewhere near the end of this one we get dangerously silly…
39 - We Humbly Apologize to The Smiths
Jan 7, 2019 • 43 min
This week we talk about the loudness of swallowing, I accidentally tweet at Bernie Sanders, and we get really confused about bombs that burst in air. We also come at you with a couple opinions on Drag Race All Stars.
38 - The Perineum of Kindness
Dec 31, 2018 • 53 min
Hank and Katherine are visited by Matt and Devyn to talk about hippos, muppets, eggplants, and more. This episode is a bit more explicit that usual, so be warned. And if you want to hear more from Matt, his podcast is called “I Love It” and it’s available…
37 - Heavy on the Schnaaps
Dec 24, 2018 • 47 min
Let’s go over a BUNCH OF MISTAKES that Hank made this week! First deletions in a while, but they were worth it. WE ARE THE BLARTMEN NOW!!
36 - Efficiency on the Pole
Dec 17, 2018 • 52 min
Hank and Katherine are joined by Jesslyn, one of their oldest and best friends to talk about salad dressing, Keanu Reeves, going swayze, Kathy Ireland, and working on some Night Moves.
35 - Unclear on Why We’re Beating the Horse
Dec 10, 2018 • 36 min
Hank and Katherine have a short episode this week, though there are lots of draft tweets saved and not released during the P4A. Also, yes, it is too much to ask for there to be a boyband composed of 50 year olds. And let’s talk a bit about the TUMBLR…
34 - A Vacuum In Reverse
Dec 3, 2018 • 49 min
Let’s talk about Shrek, hunger, and how much I tweeted about Orin this week. Also, we have to talk some about Cowboy Bebop…sorry to everyone who doesn’t care about that. Oh, and Katherine is super into these new fancy nuts.
32 - MmmmmWhatchasaaaayyy
Nov 19, 2018 • 38 min
Hank and Katherine question Katherine’s lasagna decisions, Hank’s public pontification, whether Ryan Reynolds needs to retire, the difference between shame and guilt, how to talk about conspiracy theories, and whether Tumblr is funnier than Twitter.
31.3 - OH MY GOD FOR REAL THIS TIME!!
Nov 12, 2018 • 47 min
Sorry! Uploaded a bad version of this! USE THIS ONE! It mostly takes place on November 6th, because I was freaking out and using the platform in an unhealthy way…WHAT A SURPRISE! But there’s also other stuff about babies and Jupiter and the moon which is…
30 - Suspiciously Large Quantities of Soup
Oct 29, 2018 • 53 min
Where should you scatter your loved ones ashes? My mole is not cancer! Are you ready to vote? Kevin Kline, dorm rooms, spoopy voices, and peculiar varieties of sheep! It’s DELETE THIS!
29 - Eel Intercourse, Specifically
Oct 22, 2018 • 46 min
Don’t forget to wait until the end because apparently we’re covering songs now? What a fun episode! I like my wife.
28 - Jim Krakauer’s Chest Haircut
Oct 15, 2018 • 36 min
We’re back! And we’re going to talk a lot about our baby and Apollo 16.
27 - Anniversary Edition!
Sep 28, 2018 • 38 min
We recorded this last weekend, but finding time to edit it has been a bit of a challenge! But here we are…sorry if the audio is not so good, recording on the road is hard!!
26 - All Numbers are Two
Sep 17, 2018 • 39 min
Introducing two new segments on this week’s Delete This in our quest to be ONLY SEGMENTS! Let’s talk about injuries and babies watchin’ TV and the word Cewebrity!
25 - Beans
Sep 10, 2018 • 31 min
Hank and Katherine are both sick and both tired and both want to watch Great British Bake-Off. But it turns out that they liked doing a thing they didn’t want to do, which is one of the many topics on this week’s Delete This.
24 - You is Meat, Todd
Aug 27, 2018 • 47 min
Maybe a little bit more baby shoe talk?! But not as much, we promise. We’re going to talk about face tattoos and monster mashes and what you should say about people on the day they die and Hank’s serious pet peeve about “influencers” whining on social…
23 - Badorf Abba Dus Beebess!
Aug 20, 2018 • 48 min
During this episode of Delete This, well, let’s be honest, we mostly shop for baby shoes.
22 - Your Wildest Business Fantasies
Aug 13, 2018 • 39 min
Let’s talk about people’s success being valid, and why we so often convince ourselves it isn’t. But also, let’s talk about business fantasies, Twomboop from Big Hero 6, and why Star Trek needs fewer Chrises. Welcome to, DELETE THIS!
21 - This is Your Helico Pter Pilot Speaking
Aug 7, 2018 • 52 min
In this episode of Delete This Katherine eats a fair number of Twizzlers, which is a questionable decision that I’m sure people will have opinions about. Don’t @ Us.
20 - That’s a Booby!
Jul 30, 2018 • 41 min
Hank makes some mistakes…at McDonald’s and on Twitter. Wikileaks is mad at him, which isn’t fun. We’ll talk some about how Twitter makes us feel like not having an opinion isn’t acceptable, and also we get to have some Harry Potter fun. Welcome to…DELETE…
19 - bop heyYOP…BOP!
Jul 23, 2018 • 45 min
Lets talk about good snake friends and sound checks and the fact that YOU ARE THE MEDIA. It’s Delete This! And this week wasn’t too high stress, for a 2018 week, so we get a little silly and even a bit personal. Tour information is at hankgreen.com and…
18 - Elon…Mostly
Jul 16, 2018 • 52 min
Hank had his first interaction with his sometimes-hero Elon Musk on Twitter this week and…it was not what we all had imagined. But we’re also going to talk about Catfish (the meat), Subway (the sandwich shop), and democracy (and the degradation thereof.)…
17 - 90% of Showing Up is Showing Up
Jul 9, 2018 • 46 min
Let’s talk about the hate potion, Katherine’s secret life as a break dancer, my mom’s gourmet peaches, and lightsabering Kylo Ren in the face. Why does hank have such fun dreams and Katherine never does?!
16 - The Rules of the Ghost Library
Jul 2, 2018 • 54 min
We’re going to talk a lot about VidCon…how it went and also how it has affected me since. Toenail mistakes, senatorial encounters, live concerts, unicorn hats, book reviews, and turkey beds. We’re gonna have a good ol’ time.
15 - Falling Off the Wagon
Jun 18, 2018 • 51 min
Welp! It was a bit of a rough week on Hank’s Twitter. Trying to keep things light while also recognizing things are…y’know…kinda terrible. But we also get to talk to one of the songwriters of “Party in the USA” which is not the same as “Call Me Maybe.”…
14 - The Something Of Mossachusettes
Jun 11, 2018 • 44 min
We get pretty real in this one, with some chatting about Roseanne and Jordan Peterson. But also, you will get to experience with me the joy and the wonder of the first time Katherine hears about Le Petomane, so it’s alllll worth it.
13 - The Tom Bodett of Metamucil
Jun 4, 2018 • 51 min
Katherine forgets about chips, Jolt Cola, the lost calzone, Gucci slides, our animatic, and embryonic Smash Mouth fans. Basically, this is a good episode. Also, I’m gonna get upset about the Death of Expertise later in the episode, so be ready for that.
12 - Pipe Flavored Vape Juice
May 28, 2018 • 49 min
We dive in and cover two weeks at once, which means we skip a lot of stuff, but also we get to talk about Mark Twain, ear buds, Elon Musk, and lots and lots of cute baby things.
11 - The Snack Food of Magnitude
May 14, 2018 • 50 min
Hank doesn’t tweet at Trump…no…it’s even worse than that. Come on a journey with us through inside YouTube baseball, volcanic eruptions, floods, nostalgia and a great deal of talk about boogers. Welcome to DELETE THIS!
10 - The Giovanni Situation
May 7, 2018 • 56 min
Let’s talk about boogers, clean jeans, artichoke hearts, Youtubers, doing pilates in my underpants with Lindsey Stirling, and of course the Brandless Family of Brands. And then, oh God, we end up taking about DJ Khaled.
09 - The Arnold Facepalmer
Apr 29, 2018 • 46 min
This week Hank got in trouble for having opinions about bevarages, but his opinions were not nearly as weird as some other ones. Also, the caught the Golden State Killer using wizardry, there’s a skull in your head, and Katherine doesn’t care how you…
08 - A Solid Meh
Apr 23, 2018 • 49 min
When you nut in space…it push you backwards? This and other vital questions answered in this episode of Delete This! Also, Hank achieves something he never has before, and we talk a bunch about how cute our baby is. Look, you get what you get, OK.
07 - Viral Butt Wiggles
Apr 16, 2018 • 49 min
Hank discovers a new part of the internet, and they shrekbearded him. Orin’s butt goes viral, Hank poops the Webb Space Telescope’s journey, and we talk about, and we get surprisingly serious about a zoo for weird deer.
06 - Diaphragmatic Tweeting
Apr 9, 2018 • 49 min
It’s been a WEEK! Hank’s book peaked at #1 on the Barnes and Noble bestseller list, but we’re also going to deal with controversies from guns to Triscuits. Also, find out Hank’s plan for how to not let this podcast actually /encourage/ him to tweet at…
05 - The Despacito Situation
Apr 2, 2018 • 55 min
NOTE: This episode has a higher-than-usual density of curse words. Hank and Katherine are going to talk about how Hank kinda deleted his Twitter on accident. But also about dumb t-shirts, Amazon, democracy, fingernails, the NRA, and also the NRA…because…
04 - Who Viples The Piples?
Mar 28, 2018 • 49 min
Hank gets in a car crash, his dad marches on Amsterdam, everyone makes friends with foxes and we assure you that there is only one kind of money. It was a very busy week, Hank went to Amsterdam and back and America and the world continues its convoluted…
03 - Good Plump Bird Fronts
Mar 19, 2018 • 54 min
Hank (Skip?) and Katherine dive deep into Hank’s twitter feed and talk about whether you can love something 100% of the way, the Russia Investigation, really good poops, and Fox News. It’s /CLASSIC/ Delete This!
02 - The Chumbawamba Situation
Mar 12, 2018 • 58 min
Katherine is sick, Hank is tired, we just got off a plane and it’s time to talk about gorillas, pigeons, phlebotomists, and subtweeting famous astrophysicists. We’re also going to have some conversations about gun violence and yes I get a little bit mad…
01 - Don’t At Me!
Mar 6, 2018 • 66 min
Hank and Katherine introduce DELETE THIS by delving into dangerous opinions on guns, abortion, and Game of Thrones. Let’s talk about all the podcasts that we didn’t end up making, as well as Hank’s unhealthy business and personal relationship with social…