Blank String

Blank String
This is the Blank String podcast, staring Luke, Tim and Matt as they talk about things and stuff and junk and things.

go to the BBBQQ, the extra Q is for quarantine
Jun 5 • 55 min
Are you, like Luke, Matt and Tim stuck in lockdown during BBQ season and are just bored of doing things the traditional way, you know, like on a BBQ? Well fear not, we have solved this problem for you by reinventing the BBQ! That’s right! We are here to…
Blank Start the first (and probably last) Lock-down Olympics
May 22 • 49 min
Whilst Luke, Matt and Tim have been locked up inside they have turned their attention to something which will no longer be the same, no not that, you dirty dog! The Olympics. So we have rectified this situation and created an Olympics which will rival…
predict the future of life on the outside
May 9 • 58 min
Luke, Matt and Tim are still stuck inside like the rest of you. So they take this opportunity to talk about what life will be like once we are all able to wander the streets free as a bird. We also forget to talk about this at the start and talk about…
and their export quarantine advice
Apr 26 • 64 min
Luke, Matt and Tim have been affected by this just like everyone else. They thought they would take this time to give everyone some advice on how to quarantine right!
get down on dirty
Apr 11 • 38 min
Luke, Matt and Tim managed to make it to the episode you have all been patiently waiting for. The one where we finally become some super filthy naughty boys. The 69th episode and we talk all things sex. It is great and well-informed information about all…
are deserted on a desert island part 3
Mar 17 • 55 min
The concluding conclusion of the hilarious 3 part series where Matt leads Luke and Tim on a pirate-themed adventure. Last time we finished the adventure Luke and Tim had taken over the ship and for whatever reason, with the help of an alien, sent Matts…
are deserted on a desert island part 2
Feb 28 • 50 min
Last time on the Blank String podcast, Matt started some mad ramblings and Luke and Tim ended up surviving a desert island, this time they start where they left off on a ship with no plan or goal in mind other than to cause mayhem and chaos. Don’t worry…
are deserted on a desert island part 1
Feb 14 • 51 min
Oh No! Luke and Tim have suddenly found themselves washed on a desert island, with no hope and no one to help them. Is this a dessert as in the geographical place or the meal? Will Tim burn things like he always does? Will Luke do something inappropriate?…
protect everyone on their holidays
Jan 31 • 44 min
That’s right, Tim is going on holiday (again) and we decided to help him relax and not have to worry about people who might want to ruin his time away. Anyone can do something simple like… carry a gun, but we at Blank String like to believe there is a…
design an expert secret service
Jan 19 • 54 min
Luke, Matt and Tim have just about enough of being heckled and abused on the streets. How do we solve this? Secret service of course! If famous people can hire people to jump in front of a bullet to save them then why can’t we? Why stop there? How do we…
Design a Rockin’ Theme Park
Jan 4 • 45 min
Luke, Matt and Tim bring in the new year with a bang. They get together to design the greatest theme park anyone has ever seen. Failing that they make one which makes tons of money. Failing that they make one which has people coming back for more. Failing…
and the Pokemon Xmas Miracle Finale
Dec 20, 2019 • 55 min
Previously on Blank String… Ash’s Pikachu had written a letter to Santa and Ash did not understand. So Pikachu went to the Pokemon Bureau of Pokemon (or some ridiculous name like that) to get help from Matt as Psyduck and Tim as Snorlax, to take his…
and the Pokemon Xmas Miracle, the first half
Dec 6, 2019 • 50 min
Oh My Gosh! Did you play the new Pokemon yet? Luke and Tim have and are super excited about the game and feel the urge to tell Matt all about the amazing features of this game. After, what can only be seen as a concise and amazing review of Pokemon Luke…
recant with their story of how they got into gaming
Nov 22, 2019 • 52 min
Matt, Luke and Tim are all avid gamers and nothing excites them more than knocking out a quick round of Wii golf or banging some zombie flesh with their shotguns. So let’s take a bit of a break from tradition and just have a relaxed episode of 3 dudes who…
Start Their Own Country
Nov 9, 2019 • 58 min
Luke, Matt and Tim have just about had enough of the country they are in. So many things could easily be improved. Instead of working on those things and trying to make their current situation better for themselves and everyone else, they start their own…
presents: Bread-Time Stories The Finale
Oct 25, 2019 • 62 min
As our journey comes to an epic conclusion, we are left to wonder, how will Matt tie up all of the loose ends he has created? He won’t? Well, okay then 🤷‍♀️
presents: Bread-Time Stories Returns
Oct 11, 2019 • 56 min
Our heroes embark on a perilous quest to find the stolen recipe, but just how many walls made of bread can one person eat?
presents: Bread-Time Stories
Sep 27, 2019 • 45 min
Matt takes the helm of HMS Blank String and takes the boys on a wild adventure which is about as well planned out as this synopsis. Luke & Tim are a pair of humble bakers with suspiciously vague living arrangements, but when a mysterious stranger visits…
create a Godzilla to fight Godzilla part 4 of 3 (final one, honest)
Sep 13, 2019 • 61 min
The final epic show down between Godzilla and Pollozilla. Who will become the new best Godzilla? Listen to how Matt continues to mess around with the rules in order to almost make the episode going over into another episode. Also, how Tim, with his…
work out who will be the best God Father
Aug 31, 2019 • 45 min
Not the movie, that is something else. I heard it is better, but who has time verify? In the meantime, Luke has asked Matt and Tim to be God Father to his latest edition to his family. But who is going to be the better God Father? After a series of…
create a Godzilla to fight Godzilla part 3 of 3
Aug 17, 2019 • 51 min
The bit you have all been waiting for, the final showdown. In this epic twist, Luke accidentally ticked off Godzilla, and now Matt and Tim have to pay the price? That’s right, they jettison to the moon and cook up Pollozilla to put an end Godzilla. It is…
create a Godzilla to fight Godzilla part 2 of 3
Aug 3, 2019 • 45 min
In the previous episode Luke, Matt and Tim created their very own Godzilla. It is possibly going to be the greatest Godzilla anyone has ever seen. However in order to prepare for the next episode the gang design a base which will withstand the real…
create a Godzilla to fight Godzilla part 1 of 3
Jul 20, 2019 • 49 min
Luke, Matt and Tim take on one of the greatest and well known monsters from cinematic history. In this first part they analyse, with expert precision, what makes a great Godzilla. Failing that they then design a Godzilla of their own in preparation to…
start several lucrative start ups
Jul 6, 2019 • 55 min
Luke, Matt and Tim rack their brains to come up with the greatest start ups of all time. Well at least Matt and Tim give it a good go, who knows what Luke was on during this episode. If you are either a Shark or a Dragon I suggest you take a cheeky listen…
create child labour 2.0
Jun 22, 2019 • 56 min
Labour is horrible and 66.667% of the men on this podcast have previously been involved in process. But 100% of the men on this podcast say “now is the time to improve child labour”. Introducing the new and improved child labour, it’s quick, it’s painless…
predict the ending of Game of Thrones
Jun 8, 2019 • 54 min
Luke, Matt and Tim discuss the last season of Game of Thrones. This episode was recorded early into the season (after episode 2) but will be released well after the last episode has aired. You will be amazed how accurate these three rad dudes are. I mean,…
create a cure for insomnia
May 25, 2019 • 51 min
Tim gets a new bed or something like that. It’s not important because after help from Matt and Luke they design the perfect sleeping conditions. So if you have been awake for too long and need a night of sleep, just implement the solution we have for you…
create the next biggest super hero franchise
May 11, 2019 • 45 min
Luke, Matt and Tim want a slice of the blockbuster super hero movie franchise. They take it upon themselves to create the greatest super hero franchise ever and show that is easy to do! Introducing Sauce Man, or was it Source Dude? Now let the money rain…
design a cooking competition
Apr 27, 2019 • 46 min
After an extra long series of yet another baking competition Luke claims that Blank String can do a better job. So together with Matt and Tim, they design a cooking competition like no one has ever seen. It’s dangerous, it’s thrilling, it also has a bonus…
form a biker gang
Apr 15, 2019 • 36 min
Did you know Tim loves bikes? It’s hard to believe he is not in a biker gang. This episode addresses that very issue as Luke, Matt, and Tim create a biker gang making all other biker gangs look like a toddler daycare in comparison.
predict the next set of Pokemon
Mar 30, 2019 • 39 min
Luke, Matt and Tim are such super mega fans of Pokemon and are the right age to be too old to play a kids game about 10 year children running around and violently attacking people that they simply don’t like the look of. It sound like something we…
cures Misophonia
Mar 16, 2019 • 41 min
Luke, repulsed by everyone in his office during lunchtime and requires help from Matt and Tim to solve his problem. Hey desk neighbour… did you just pick his nose? AND EAT IT!!! I am retching thinking about this description. Enjoy!
start their Pokemon adventure (Part 5 of 3)
Mar 3, 2019 • 40 min
Luke, Matt and Tim finish the epic battle with the Champions Dragonite and now the Champion is ready to reveal the ultimate secret in Pokemon. How do they do it? What tools do they use? What position do the Pokemon take when undertaking such tasks? Who…
start their Pokemon adventure (Part 4 of 3)
Feb 5, 2019 • 36 min
Matt and Tim are on the first part of the last part of their adventure. Is the end in site? Has Luke made it impossible to win by making them fight something crazy strong? Tune in an find out
start their Pokemon adventure (Part 3 of 3)
Jan 5, 2019 • 56 min
Matt and Tim continue their Pokemon adventure guided by Luke and start in the midst of an epic battle against 2 Pikachus. Will Charmeleon leave anything unburnt? Will Haunter actually deal some damage? Will the Professor survive? Listen now to find out.
replace Santa
Dec 15, 2018 • 49 min
Last Xmas Luke, Matt and Tim didn’t get presents so they went on a crazy, no holds bar adventure which, may or may not have resulted in the death of Santa. Don’t worry about it though, we are replacing Santa this year with an even better version of Santa.…
start their Pokemon adventure (Part 2 of 3)
Dec 1, 2018 • 40 min
Luke, Matt and Tim continue on their adventure with Haunter, Charmeleon and Gyarados in order to discover how Pokemon eggs are made. Expect epics fights, genius strategizing and in true Blank String format, lots of procrastination.
start their Pokemon adventure (Part 1 of 3)
Nov 5, 2018 • 58 min
Luke, Matt and Tim take on the role of the worlds most powerful monsters in order to solve one of the least understood issues, also someone is a Magikarp, Matt resorts to blackmail and Tim burns things. Yet another well rounded and thought out episode.
play “You Must Choose”
Oct 6, 2018 • 51 min
Luke, Matt and Tim pose questions to each other and they must pick one answer or the other
design the perfect kitchen
Sep 8, 2018 • 49 min
Luke’s kitchen is ill equipped for mordern day kitchen life. It lacks the essentials, trebuchets, fire, pigs, and a super dangerous defense system to name a few things.
pull of the biggest heist of the century
Aug 25, 2018 • 42 min
Matt, Luke and Tim checked their pockets to find no money. Banks have lots of money, so we will just take all of theirs
plan to go to Mars
Aug 3, 2018 • 43 min
Luke, Matt, and Tim invite a select few to come to Mars, and we invent the best burrito on the burrito market
create an amazing dining experience
Jul 26, 2018 • 53 min
Matt, Luke, and Tim take on the food industry to design an all new and amazing dining experience, looking for investors now (Luke is also sorry for recording in a field)
plan the best holiday of all time
Jun 28, 2018 • 50 min
Blank String are tired of working really hard one hour every two weeks, so we have decided to go on a summer holiday. Where will we go, what will we do, what do you mean tickled by snakes?
go on a tour of their offices
Jun 14, 2018 • 52 min
Join Matt, Tim and Luke whilst they discuss the grand design of their wonderful offices. If you don’t have any of these features in your office then you aren’t really in an office
come back from Google IO
May 31, 2018 • 52 min
It starts off with Tim talking about the great Google IO then moves into a competition, does Matt get any answers correct? No one knows, but we gave him some points anyway.
turn themselves into gods
May 4, 2018 • 47 min
Three podcasters step into the ring of Mount Olympus and only one will step out. Unless their powers are utterly useless and serve no purpose other than for a good laugh!
in their cars
Apr 19, 2018 • 45 min
We haven’t caught up in a while. No idea what is in this episode so good luck listening but both Luke and Matt are recording from their cars again.
travel Back to The Future (part 5 of 2)
Apr 5, 2018 • 35 min
Matt and Tim play the lovable Marty McFly for the last time as they crack this case wide open… What was originally a 2 part episode finally
review Back to the Future Saga
Mar 22, 2018 • 31 min
Luke interviews Tim about the story so far, listen to this in order to catch up and have the whole view before the finale
help with wedding plans
Mar 8, 2018 • 46 min
Luke’s life long friend, Ant joins the podcast and the rest of the gang try to help him with his wedding woes. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but we actually come up with a good idea here!
travel Back to The Future (part 4 of 2)
Feb 22, 2018 • 45 min
Something about a Dusty Old Will and everyone discovers how annoying our new soundboard is. It is not all that bad.
travel Back to The Future (part 3 of 2)
Feb 9, 2018 • 46 min
Matt and Tim as Marty meet Biff and go to a library in order to address the age old question, how does a head in a jar survive?
travel Back to The Future (part 2 of 2)
Jan 27, 2018 • 38 min
Matt and Tim play the role of Marty and travel back to 1888 in order to find out what Mad Dog knows. Does he like Nandos chicken? Does he like super hot sauce? What does he think of when he hears the name Nandos? Tune in and find out.
travel Back to The Future (part 1 of 2)
Jan 11, 2018 • 52 min
Caught between two worlds Matt and Tim find themselves yet in another precarious situation, only this time they have to try and prove their innocence instead of destroying everything and everyone. Nah, let’s just mess around with time travel.
take revenge against Santa
Dec 28, 2017 • 74 min
Luke, Matt, and Tim woke up Christmas morning and rummaged around their presents to not find one from Santa. I hope he is ready for this vengeance tale featuring Christmas.
attend Howarts (part 3 of 2)
Dec 14, 2017 • 61 min
Bena and Blep finally get to the Chamber of secrets. Will they make it through alive? Will they remember to save the school from certain doom? Will they have to eat all the goods before making it to the finish line?
attend Hogwarts (part 2 of 2)
Nov 30, 2017 • 48 min
A magic car, spiders on a plane and some angry frog-horse-dude. Are you sure we haven’t smoked some of that elusive hallucinogenic? Join Luke, Matt and Tim as they try to save Hogwarts from the brink an orgy self-destruction.
attend Hogwarts (Part 1 of 2)
Nov 17, 2017 • 52 min
Luke, Matt and Tim go on another quest. To the world of witchcraft and wizardary. As usual Matt and Tim mess everything up and now everyone wants to kill each other. Tune in to find out how our heros get into and out of another mess.
investigate Monsters Inc
Nov 2, 2017 • 75 min
In this halloween special Luke and Tim go on a super secret adventure. It is so spooky and scary! Monsters around every corner. Fireworks at Nandos! Will they make it out alive?
have to get rid of a body
Oct 26, 2017 • 61 min
Oh no! What’s this? Matt and Tim have a body and they need to get rid of it, FAST! Guided by Luke. Matt and Tim “work together” to get rid of a body. They didn’t even check if it was dead.
build an impenetrable fort, in Blackpool
Oct 19, 2017 • 63 min
Luke, Matt and Tim find themselves in a dire situation. They are trapped in Blackpool, surrounded by all sides by drunken men and women enjoying their festivities (how revolting!). How are they going to save themselves from this predicament? Tune in and…
invoke the Dijinn
Oct 12, 2017 • 57 min
Imagine being able to wish for anything you wanted? What would you wish for? Well Luke and Tim get what they wish for. Exactly what they wish for.
create the greatest zoo in the world
Oct 5, 2017 • 65 min
Luke’s great great uncle Bob unfortunatly passed away… But he left a zoo to Blank String so there’s a silver lining. Listen to Luke and Tim as they design the greatest zoo the world over.
come back from holiday
Sep 28, 2017 • 58 min
Luke, Matt and Tim are faced with yet another difficult challenge. Imagine it is the end of the world, what would be the last thing you buy? What will they choose? Will they understand the situation? My bet is, they won’t.
investigate the best form of time travel
Sep 22, 2017 • 52 min
Posed with several kinds of time travel what would you do? Want to become rich? Yes! Want to stop WWII? You bet! Want to mess with people and see what happens when you start time again? What? Tune in and listen to Tim, Matt and Luke as they misuse time…
design a most bodacious Disney movie
Sep 22, 2017 • 63 min
How hard can it be to make a Disney? As it turns out not very. How hard is it to make a good one with an engaging story, lovable characters and emotive dialog? Listen in and found out how close we get.
plan the wedding of all time
Sep 3, 2017 • 48 min
Join Luke, Matt and Tim for a monumentous ocassion. Luke pops the big question in this episode. To whom? What question? Why am I so excited? Tune in and find out all the answers to these questions and more.
discuss their favourite foods
Aug 31, 2017 • 60 min
Luke and Tim talk about one of their favourite topics. Warning nommy nommy episode.
design the best most of transport
Aug 24, 2017 • 58 min
In this episode Luke and Tim drive done memory lane and talk about transportation and finally come to a conclusion on what would be the best way to get about.
uncover and solve many a conspiracy
Aug 17, 2017 • 49 min
This week we dive into the inner workings of many conspiracies and uncover a unsettling not-truth about this nations beloved postal service.
discuss Luketopia
Aug 10, 2017 • 51 min
The road to Luketopia is writhe with dispair and misery. But hey! There is a happy ending. Find out what is going to happen to us all once we press the big red button which will reset the world for the better.
design the perfect pet
Aug 3, 2017 • 49 min
Luke and Tim discuss what would be the perfect pet in the world. Let’s see if they find it.
start a podcast
Jul 30, 2017 • 46 min
In the pilot episode Luke and Matt start with an ice-breaker by givving some pearly sage words of advice about babies