Congratulations with Chris D'Elia

Congratulations with Chris D'Elia

congratulationspod.com
A man unraveling on the internet.
107 - Pault
Feb 11 • 66 min
On today’s show, Chris talks about the famous George Brett story. Also discussed: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, Edgar Ramirez, Ricky Martin, male models, doing math, Bryant Gumbel, and how getting a new car sucks. Plus, we name an elder and do…
106 - The Lawnmower Sittin’ Right Next To The Tree
Feb 4 • 62 min
On today’s show, Chris talks about DMX and Scatman John. Also discussed: a followup on DirecTV, the Super Bowl, wardrobe, and Zack and Mike stories. Plus, we do Missed Connections. Tweet your questions and spread the love using the hashtag…
105 - Krustin’
Jan 28 • 69 min
On today’s show, Chris talks about his beef with DirecTV. Also discussed: the cities in Colorado, porn, Jon Ronson, and George Harrison. Plus, we do Missed Connections. Tweet your questions and spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on…
104 - Only God Can Hold Me
Jan 22 • 66 min
On today’s show, Chris talks about Ja Rule. Also discussed: North Face jackets, Zack Doncovio and chocolate milk, white guy names, the Fyre Festival documentaries, Billy McFarland, and Kool Keith. Plus, we do Missed Connections. Tweet your questions…
103 - Mary Condominium
Jan 14 • 62 min
On today’s show, Chris talks about Marie Kondo and Tidying Up. Also discussed: Craig Conant, New Year’s resolutions, George R. R. Martin and Game of Thrones, ZZ Top, Staind, Missed Connections, and we name a new Elder. Tweet your questions and spread…
102 - Doodie News
Jan 7 • 66 min
On today’s show, Chris talks about a video of R. Kelly in Ethiopia. Also discussed: the Apple TV Remote, makeup contouring, Xerxes, Missed Connections, and a story about french fries. Tweet your questions and spread the love using the hashtag…
101 - Past the Anus
Jan 2 • 57 min
On today’s show, Chris discusses the end of the holidays. Also discussed: Chris’s new Netflix special, The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Saudi Arabia, skiing, and the world ending. Plus, Missed Connections. Tweet your questions and spread the love using…
100 - The Church of Kay (with Matt D’Elia)
Dec 24, 2018 • 76 min
Episode 100! The centennial! Christmas Eve! Please welcome our first guest, Matt D’Elia. On today’s show, Chris and Matt discuss family. Also discussed: a special life philosophy, Donald Trump, Jim Carrey, fashion, and Keith Hernandez. Matt joins in…
99 - My Hands Are Tied Now
Dec 18, 2018 • 63 min
It’s the 99th episode, one more to 100! On today’s show, Chris talks about social media influencers. Also discussed: Robert DeNiro, Copland, YouTubers, IHOP/IHOB, the republican sex position, Rs at the end of non-R words. We answer some Twitter…
98 - One Anus-Grab Away
Dec 10, 2018 • 61 min
It’s the 98th episode, getting closer! On today’s show, Chris talks about how he thinks a bigender robot should host the Oscars. Also discussed: TED Radio Hour, Derren Brown, Nimesh Patel, and how hard it is to do a show with no Internet (which is…
97 - Cadillac Vrills
Dec 3, 2018 • 66 min
It’s the 97th episode, getting close! On today’s show, Chris talks about Ludacris and the Fast & Furious franchise for way too long. Also discussed: bad Geico Commercials, deadpan comedy, Apple Maps, Ed Burns, Abcde, & Jay Z and Beyonce. Plus,…
96 - You Got Shintaro
Nov 26, 2018 • 73 min
It’s the 96th episode, almost to 100! On today’s show, Chris talks about holiday shopping and everyone’s obsession with deals. Also discussed: ginkgo biloba, Bill Clinton, Eric Trump, a very Italian story, Dwight Howard and general intolerance towards…
95 - Build A Rocket Ship
Nov 20, 2018 • 60 min
It’s the 95th episode, wow! On today’s show, Chris talks about the bombshell Tekashi 6ix9ine news. Also discussed: what is racketeering?, San Francisco is always freezing, unpacking at hotels, who eats complimentary breakfast?, luggage racks, hotel…
94 - Feels So Good In My Hood
Nov 13, 2018 • 64 min
It’s the 94th episode! On today’s show, Chris goes through some Craigslist missed connections. Also discussed: Idris Elba, JCVD, Montell Jordan, tetanus shot still hurting, American Idol, and Brian McKnight. Plus, Chris answers a bunch of questions…
93 - Public Conversational Lapdance
Nov 5, 2018 • 67 min
It’s the 93rd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about seeing racism right here in Hollywood. Also discussed: a mother who confronted an online gamer, Halloween, Spanish class, tetanus shots, Double Dragon, Tony Danza, and No Nut November. Plus,…
92 - Bruchdown
Oct 29, 2018 • 65 min
It’s the 92nd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about how older video games are better than new video games. Also discussed: Halloween costumes, Scrooge McDuck, scary halloween noises, John Wayne, Benihana, & Streets of Rage. Tweet your…
91 - Sayonarasville
Oct 22, 2018 • 54 min
It’s the 91st episode! On today’s show, Chris tells a story about his opener and his passport in Couvey. Also discussed: Alonzo Bodden, Tuscan flavor, sandwiches, throwing pillows, truffle popcorn, more Shannon Sharpe, and the Lakers brawl. Plus,…
90 - La La La Problem
Oct 15, 2018 • 69 min
It’s the 90th episode! On today’s show, Chris tells some childhood stories. Also discussed: Peabo Bryson, Carnegie Hall, Chris’s dad, is there a god?, Shannon Sharpe, and stupid dishes. Plus, Chris answers a bunch of questions from Twitter. Tweet your…
89 - Wooooooooh!
Oct 8, 2018 • 60 min
It’s the 89th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about the Conor McGregor vs Khabib Nurmagomedov fight. Also discussed: Butt’s Up, Mike Tyson, Russians, Melania Trump, vocal training, and a big pet peeve. Plus, Chris answers a bunch of questions…
88 - That Top Note
Oct 2, 2018 • 68 min
It’s the 88th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about Kawhi Leonard and his amazing laugh. Also discussed: Tekashi 6ix9ine (of course), Kanye on SNL, DJ Pooh, JR Smith and his Supreme tattoo, that ice cream tester guy, method acting and…
87 - Triple Talaq
Sep 25, 2018 • 62 min
It’s the 87th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about growing up, role models, and what it means to be a role model. Also discussed: Suge Knight, Bill Cosby, airplanes, Kopi Luwak (cat poop coffee), the triple Talaq, plus Chris answers a bunch of…
86 - Get Gully
Sep 17, 2018 • 72 min
It’s the 86th episode! On today’s show, it’s story time! Chris tells a story about his friend after 9/11, a filthy story about hiking in Runyon Canyon and a couple of his favorite stories from the Comedy Store. Also discussed: Tekashi 6ix9ine, being a…
85 - Johnny Hipscry
Sep 10, 2018 • 63 min
It’s the 85th episode! On today’s show, Chris tells his Kurt Russell story. Also discussed: math flirting, Car Wash by Rose Royce, Myspace and the Top 8, and what you should do if you own a waffle maker. We name a new Elder and answer a bunch of…
84 - Little Church
Sep 3, 2018 • 60 min
It’s the 84th episode! It’s Labor Day. On today’s show, Chris talks about ASMR. Also discussed: diss tracks, Mark Wahlberg and how he wakes up too early, the dystopian future, speedos, going into the ocean past your knees, Buzz Aldrin and Neil…
83 - Lit Asian Banker
Aug 29, 2018 • 60 min
It’s the 83rd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about his time with The Chainsmokers in Las Vegas. Also discussed: lobster quesadillas, cuddling, All Star by Smashmouth, Africa by Toto, Burning Man, and karaoke. We name a new Elder…
82 - Hoffa Nice Day
Aug 21, 2018 • 65 min
It’s the 82nd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about gourds, and people who are gourds. Also discussed: not caring about food presentation, Yellow Submarine, District 9, Eminem, 69ing, pineapples on pizza, Die Hard, and some stories from…
81 - I’m Me
Aug 13, 2018 • 58 min
It’s the 81st episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about being yourself. Also discussed: dogs throwing up, Family Guy, period piece movies, symphony hair vs. hockey player hair, tribal mentality, and growing up. Plus, Chris answers a bunch questions…
80 - Prolonging The Brbr
Aug 6, 2018 • 57 min
It’s the 80th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about ‘brbr’ and how long it should take to have sex. Also discussed: sex positions, Tom Cruise, stunts, poetry, auditioning, Las Vegas, Thunder Down Under, and ultimate frisbee. Plus, Chris answers…
79 - Evil Scientist With A Boner
Jul 31, 2018 • 58 min
It’s the 79th episode! On today’s show, Chris tells a couple of stories from Montreal. Also discussed: wacky hair, burpees, Air Canada and airplane internet, and The Space Force. Plus, Chris answers a bunch questions from Twitter. Tweet your questions…
78 - I Don’t Wanna Fuck Chairs
Jul 23, 2018 • 73 min
It’s the 78th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about R. Kelly’s new song “I Admit.” Also discussed: Houston, Twitter arguments, James Gunn, Tekashi 6ix9ine, an a story about the time Chris interrupted his own set to take a shit. Also, fuck boba….
77 - Set It And Forget It!
Jul 16, 2018 • 59 min
It’s the 77th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about hiking. Also discussed: infomercials, closeted gay behavior, getting hit on by guys, “unsolicited jizz”, “Vietnam pubes”, and TMZ. Plus, Chris answers a bunch questions from Twitter. Tweet your…
76 - Flex Avenue
Jul 10, 2018 • 61 min
It’s the 76th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about reggae and Mad Cobra. Also discussed: Jamaican dancing, the kids trapped in the cave, the worst movies on Netflix, and buying expensive clothes. Plus, Chris answers a bunch questions from…
75 - Executive Produced By You
Jul 2, 2018 • 61 min
It’s the 75th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about LeBron James moving to the Lakers. Also discussed: Drake’s new album Scorpion, people who say ‘Lake Show’, cuttlefish mating, world population battle royale, and Guitar Hero. Plus, Chris…
74 - It’s Beautiful, DONG!
Jun 25, 2018 • 69 min
It’s the 74th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about how being disrespectful is actually respectful. Also discussed: The Secret, people from Midwest City, Brent Morin, hibernating, bad movies vs. good movies, and leg day. Plus, Chris answers a…
73 - Lil Monopoly Piece
Jun 19, 2018 • 59 min
It’s the 73rd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about being XXXTentacion. Also discussed: camping, parasols, Lil Tay, being genuine when dating, Hugh Grant, Nicolas Cage, and Daddy’s sweaty chest. Plus, Chris answers a bunch of questions from…
72 - Tinhead Botface
Jun 11, 2018 • 58 min
It’s the 72nd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about being nice to robots. Also discussed: people being awkward, AirPods and dental floss, IHOB, XXXTentacion, Miss America, and vegan McDonalds. Tweet your questions and spread the love using the…
71 - Freedom
Jun 3, 2018 • 68 min
It’s the 71st episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about taking a stand for what you believe in, a.k.a. your “freedom” moment. Chris also plays around with his new soundboard. Also discussed: car wash etiquette, what is a “brand”, drug stores selling…
70 - Crybaby University
May 29, 2018 • 65 min
It’s the 70th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about crybabies and dragging culture. Also discussed: Roseanne, playing colleges, the void, and a couple big pet peeves. Plus, we answer some questions from Twitter. Tweet your questions and spread…
69 - Get With The Program
May 21, 2018 • 73 min
It’s the 69th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about Nate Dogg. Also discussed: the royal wedding, church, 69 jokes, Rob Gronkowski, and graduation speeches. Plus, we name a new elder. Tweet your questions and spread the love using the hashtag…
68 - Chudune
May 14, 2018 • 72 min
It’s the 68th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about DJ Khaled and his son Asahd. Also discussed: Mother’s Day social media posts, the song Green Onions, Infinity Wars, Justice League, straight jackets, and we name an elder. Brought to you by…
67 - Hamberican Idol
May 7, 2018 • 65 min
It’s the 67th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about Ryan Seacrest. Also discussed: Emily Ratajkowski, The Goo Goo Dolls, San Francisco being too cold, Logan Paul, game show announcers, TMFUIPOTW & Chris answers a bunch of questions from…
66 - Whoopity Scoop Whoop Poop
Apr 30, 2018 • 62 min
It’s the 66th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about Kanye West. Also discussed: getting a tattoo, this girl with a controversial prom dress, political people getting offended, the microfiche, Jodie Foster, Elvis, R. Kelly, Bill Cosby, TMFUIPOTW…
65 - Walmart Comic Kid
Apr 24, 2018 • 61 min
It’s the 65th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about NBA locker room fashion. Also discussed: the South, Blade Runner, computers in older futuristic movies, and the Walmart Yodel Kid. We name a special elder and Chris answers a bunch of questions…
64 - We Develop Psychopaths
Apr 16, 2018 • 73 min
It’s the 64th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about The Rock. Also discussed: Beyonce, Starbucks, the Terminator movies, James Cameron, Arnold Schwarzenegger, hashtag holidays, Chick-fil-A, sexist R&B lyrics, & we have TMFUIPOTW. RIP…
63 - Papcock
Apr 9, 2018 • 62 min
Wow it’s the 63rd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about having a bunch of kids. Also discussed: Conor McGregor, a Cuban Uber driver, not knowing what day it is, the tediousness of being on set, people who do their own stunts, Eminem, & Chris…
62 - Putting A Price On Sodomy
Apr 3, 2018 • 53 min
It’s the 62nd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about your individual price for being sodomized. Also discussed: April Fool’s Day and pranks, jet lag, people who are bad at filming stuff, how to be good at sex, having preference with porn, a…
61 - McNoyin
Mar 26, 2018 • 62 min
It’s the 61st episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about taking TV too seriously. Also discussed: movers, old timey weightlifters, McDonald’s, time machines, 35-minute desserts and raspberry sauce. We name a new elder and Chris answers a bunch of…
60 - Jojo’s Cup
Mar 19, 2018 • 68 min
It’s the 60th episode, Wow! On today’s show, Chris talks about childhood influences. Also discussed: following Sebastian, nude beach babysitters, showing your family love, an email from Uncle Vinny, and bouncy balls. Also, Chris answers a bunch of…
59 - Excalibur Weapon
Mar 13, 2018 • 61 min
It’s the 59th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about hating multicolored tortilla chips. Also discussed: popcorn, airport wifi, separating your brownies and ice cream, camping, and Club Monaco. We have a new elder today, TMFUIPOTW, and of course,…
58 - Back In Black
Mar 6, 2018 • 64 min
It’s the 58th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about auditioning in Hollywood. Also discussed: great Jay Z lyrics, Akon, being sick, mispronouncing Russell Westbrook, road rage stories, and people with bad senses of humor. We have a new elder…
57 - The Bare-Faced Lie
Feb 26, 2018 • 69 min
It’s the 57th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about family arguments. Also discussed: mistaken song lyrics, actors playing trans, porn on Instagram, and people falling down. We have a new elder today, we do TMFUIPOTW, and of course, Chris…
56 - Smotherbox
Feb 19, 2018 • 67 min
It’s the 56th episode! On today’s show, Chris discovers some new sex terms on wikipedia. Also discussed: the Black Panther opening, bad movies from the 90s, getting older, Golden Girls and the TV show Hunter, and snacks from Trader Joe’s. We have a…
55 - The Most Normal Man In The World
Feb 12, 2018 • 74 min
It’s the 55th episode! On today’s show, Chris tells a few stories from Canada. Also discussed: getaway sticks, the Gerald Stanley trial, old off the hook phone messages, “spirit animals”, “hangry”, the Olympics, curling, Black Panther, and how basmati…
54 - Dick-Nosed Fuck Party
Feb 5, 2018 • 64 min
It’s the 54th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about sex parties. Also discussed: people who prank each other, getting in fights in traffic, No H8, women who shave their heads, and the Super Bowl. We have a special elder today, and of course,…
53 - Yum
Jan 29, 2018 • 58 min
It’s the 53rd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about ventriloquists and puppets. Also discussed: Gasparilla Pirate Festival, being an actual cult leader, the dark web, people with clammy hands, drunk girls in Tampa, the meaning of life, and…
52 - Unabashedly, No
Jan 22, 2018 • 68 min
It’s the 52nd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about Art Basel and bad art. Also discussed: Kanye and Chicago West, Marina Abramovic, horrendous celebrity names, TMFUIPOTW, and of course, Chris answers a bunch of questions from Twitter….
51 - Practice Some Be Quiets
Jan 15, 2018 • 57 min
It’s the 51st episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about the way people react when you joke about religion. Also discussed: the movie Love and a Bullet, Hawaiian culture, the controversial Emily Ratajkowski ad, “shithole countries”, and more. And of…
50 - Sincy
Jan 8, 2018 • 66 min
It’s the 50th episode, wow! On today’s show, Chris talks about Logan Paul and Logan Paul’s dad. Also discussed: how nothing changes when it’s a new year, the current state of comedy, emotional intelligence, WWJD bracelets, meeting 2pac in heaven, the…
49 - Year of the Doesn’t Matter
Jan 1, 2018 • 65 min
It’s the 49th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about New Year’s resolutions. Also discussed: Chinese New Year, the year of the dog, the city of San Diego, drooling more in 2018, and E40. And of course, Chris does TMFUIPOTW and answers a bunch…
48 - Ocean’s 40 (The Christmas Episode)
Dec 25, 2017 • 50 min
It’s the 48th episode! On today’s show, Chris tries to read a Christmas story for The Babies. Also discussed: Ocean’s 8, and a bunch of holiday-related Twitter questions. Tweet your questions and spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod…
47 - Tightly Woven Mouthfeel
Dec 18, 2017 • 69 min
It’s the 47th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about the annoying way people talk about food. Also discussed: The Black Thought freestyle, Mario Batali, Bobby Flay, Emily Ratajkowski, Nikki Glaser, Chris Spencer, feeling lonely during the…
46 - Plain’n’Simp
Dec 14, 2017 • 70 min
It’s the 46th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about how he doesn’t hate Christmas music. Also discussed: Roy Moore on a horse, Ted Crockett, Chris’s restaurant: Plain’n’Simp, DMX, Elon Musk, and believing in Santa Claus. We name a new elder, and…
45 - The Drool of Baseball
Dec 4, 2017 • 68 min
It’s the 45th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about the importance of drooling (especially while making love). Also discussed: Mario Lopez & Mark-Paul Gosselaar, reinventing yourself, white kids freestyle rapping, rhyming in general, Ouija…
44 - Wet It Up
Nov 27, 2017 • 75 min
It’s the 44th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about backflipping robots. Also discussed: getting older and injuries that come with it, Henry Cavill’s mustache, talking to women at the gym, System Of A Down, Fuel, bands with bad names, and Black…
43 - Roll On Your Dolo
Nov 20, 2017 • 68 min
It’s the 43rd episode! On today’s show, Chris discusses being comfortable being alone, AKA: rolling on your dolo. Also discussed: Lavar Ball, Narcos, Blake Shelton, drugs, Daft Punk, Daniel Bedingfield, the song ‘Take A Knee My Ass’, & TMFUIPOTW….
42 - Extaculations Of Amazement
Nov 13, 2017 • 70 min
It’s the 42nd episode! On today’s show, Chris discusses working out, people at the gym, and what they wear. Also discussed: the most ridiculous Trump tweet to date, when people confront Chris in person about social media blocking, & TMFUIPOTW. We…
41 - The Book Of Sega Genesis
Nov 6, 2017 • 66 min
It’s the 41st episode! On today’s show, Chris discusses menu food puns and restaurants that try to be cute. Also discussed: loud talkers, Faces of Death, chris’s childhood friend Morgan, soccer/bicycle kicks, Fahrenheit vs Celsius, Yelp reviewers,…
40 - Filthy Ciggy
Oct 30, 2017 • 64 min
It’s the 40th episode! Daddy is back in LA! On today’s show, Chris discusses the rest of his trip to Australia, and being a foreigner in another country. Also discussed: Kevin Spacey/Anthony Rapp, an idea for what to do with House of Cards, people…
39 - Sultan With A Boner
Oct 24, 2017 • 63 min
It’s the 39th episode! Coming to you from Melbourne! On today’s show, Chris talks about ordering coffee in Australia and the spider he trapped in his hotel bathroom. Also discussed: the voice acting in the new Planet of the Apes movie, wildlife…
38 - Congratulations: Ragnarok
Oct 16, 2017 • 69 min
It’s the 38th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about guys who get mad at fake boobs. Also discussed: boycotting Wendy’s, Thor: Ragnarok, the Black Panther poster, Andy Serkis, Jean Dujardin, people who drink too much Coca Cola, & TMFUIPOTW….
37 - Steve Q. Jobs
Oct 9, 2017 • 68 min
It’s the 37th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about when Michael Jordan had that Hitler mustache in the Hayne’s commercial. Also discussed: Firehouse Subs, Mike Pence, Harvey Weinstein, Meryl Streep, Leonard Maltin eating the last piece of…
36 - Dirty Suck
Oct 2, 2017 • 72 min
It’s the 36th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about the MyPillow guy. Also discussed: doing what you love, people who ask advice writing their instagram captions, sectional pants, speedos, eating way more than your portion, NSYNC, &…
35 - The Comfy Matrix
Sep 25, 2017 • 67 min
It’s the 35th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about Lenny Kravitz and names another elder! Also discussed: Ma$e, taking a bullet for someone, TV show hosts, making love in the middle of the day, garbage trucks, & TMFUIPOTW. And of course,…
34 - The Beautiful Manuscript
Sep 18, 2017 • 72 min
It is the 34th episode! Guess what: we named our first elder! On today’s show, Chris talks about being a creature of habit. Also discussed: New Jersey diners, Babylon, movies with scrolls in it, clowns aren’t scary, March of the Penguins, Ibexes on a…
33 - Gargle, Gargle
Sep 11, 2017 • 62 min
It is the 33rd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about crooners and sexism in old songs. Also discussed: Arizona, football towns, statues, cheerleaders, marching bands, music cues in TV, scatting, & TMFUIPOTW. And of course, Chris answers a…
32 - Maurice Micklewhite
Sep 4, 2017 • 70 min
It is the 32nd episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about Jai Alai. Also discussed: No Fear shirts, the new Young Sheldon show, men who post about their wives on social media, old fashioned cars, & Michael Caine’s career. We have skipped…
31 - Fried Butterfly
Aug 28, 2017 • 68 min
It is the 31st episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about how penises are too small on statues. Also discussed: Vin Scully, Dick Vitale, Super Mario Bros theme music, pregnancy photos, the statue of David, a special PSA for naked altruists, &…
30 - Noise Wedding
Aug 21, 2017 • 63 min
It is the 30th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about harsh noise music. Also discussed: how Asians take too many pictures, the Aliens franchise, today’s solar eclipse, unnecessary Facebook Live videos, having valor, & TMFUIPOTW. And of…
29 - Nashdakota
Aug 15, 2017 • 77 min
It is the 29th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about the KKK (yeah that’s right). Also discussed: honky tonk music and live music in Nashville in general, an absolutely amazing DM from a fan, Uber drivers who make signs, The Definition of a Cuda…
28 - Vape Olympics
Aug 7, 2017 • 61 min
It is the 28th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about vaping and how you shouldn’t do it. Also discussed: the responsibility of having dogs and/or kids, a little more info on becoming an elder, escape rooms, NFL players, & TMFUIPOTW. And of…
27 - Queen of the Slammed
Jul 31, 2017 • 69 min
It is the 27th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about why it is good to make fun of your friends & family. Also discussed: Chris’s experience in Montreal, Chris’s manager, his friend Zack Doncovio who demanded a shoutout, the Fate of the…
26 - 7HRIS
Jul 24, 2017 • 72 min
It is the 26th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about when people run backwards on the treadmill at the gym. Also discussed: poutine, Comic Con, Drax cosplay, blonde boyfriends, blocking people on twitter, sound effects in rap, Michael Phelps v….
25 - The Story of OJ
Jul 17, 2017 • 51 min
It is the 25th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about Jay Z and his recent, somewhat anti-semitic rant about real estate. Also discussed: all coffee shops are closed in Albuquerque, being asked by a United employee for his flight receipt, R….
24 - Put a Demon in It
Jul 10, 2017 • 59 min
It is the 24th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about how much he hates small talk. Also discussed: parking lot tire spikes, drycleaning, the TNT show Will, origin stories in general, and pizza shops. And of course, Chris answers a bunch of…
23 - What a China!
Jul 3, 2017 • 57 min
It is the 23rd episode! Thank you to everybody who watched Man On Fire on Netflix. If you haven’t seen it yet, put it in your queue and watch it. On today’s show, Chris discusses his favorite cab ride of all time. Also discussed: the NBA awards, and…
22 - Europeans Vs. Monsters
Jun 26, 2017 • 61 min
It is the 22nd episode! Back in LA and guess what? Man On Fire comes out TONIGHT on Netflix. Put it in your queue and watch it. On today’s show, Chris discusses how alligators are actually monsters living in the United States. Also discussed: Chris…
21 - Oh I’m Diane I’m So Cool
Jun 20, 2017 • 53 min
It’s the 21st episode, coming to you from NYC! On today’s show, Chris asks whether or not you can put your feet up on stuff. Also discussed: who lives in Albuquerque?, people who watch games on ESPN Classic, the funniest thing Chris thought of this…
20 - Unreal Pants
Jun 13, 2017 • 64 min
We made it to the 20th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about wearing white pants. Also discussed: more stories about crazy people at the Coffee Bean (surprise!), LL Cool J, the Indy 500, people who like everything, receiving surprise packages,…
19 - Christo.Pher
Jun 5, 2017 • 60 min
Hey babies! It’s the 19th episode! On today’s show, Chris talks about the concept of haters. Also discussed: movie characters and how they aren’t real, the idea that guys just wanna fuck, Bill Maher and his controversy, Kathy Griffin and her…
18 - Shout Out To All The Pear
May 29, 2017 • 53 min
Hey! It’s the 18th episode! Chris is back in LA! On today’s show, Chris talks about Rick Ross. Also discussed: people debating about burgers, guys who rap in public, getting back into Jiu Jitsu with Joel Gerson, Katy Perry & Migos, and a bunch of…
17 - Autopussy
May 22, 2017 • 55 min
Hey! It’s the 17th episode! On today’s show, Chris wonders about the jobs that gay people have. Also discussed: downtime in Toronto, too many shows on the food network, debunking Cooks vs. Cons, watching shows about dinosaurs, hookers, and a bunch of…
16 - Menefreghista
May 15, 2017 • 64 min
Hey! It’s the 16th episode! Happy Mother’s Day. On today’s pod, Chris talks about Steve Harvey’s email. Also discussed: people who wear bibs when they eat stuff, Will Smith, a word that Chris’s dad uses to describe Chris, the problem with people…
15 - Gay Barnacles
May 8, 2017 • 46 min
Hey! It’s the 15th episode, and we’re back in LA! In today’s discussion, Chris talks about the Met Gala. Also discussed: people who talk about loving the rain, robots in movies, liking shoes too much, his Australian seat neighbor on his flight who was…
14 - Twitter!
May 1, 2017 • 55 min
It’s the 14th episode, and we’re still coming to you from rainy Toronto! In today’s discussion, Chris talks about Fyre Festival because of course. Also discussed: Jean Claude Van Damm and his new Twitter account, people who leave voicemails, TED…
13 - The 6
Apr 24, 2017 • 51 min
Hey! It’s the 13th episode, and we’re coming to you from Toronto! In today’s discussion, Chris talks about making things awkward for people, karma vs. energy, Canadian comedy crowds, what it means to actually not give a fuck, Spooky Black, the…
12 - I’m Not Boring
Apr 17, 2017 • 47 min
Hey! It’s the 12th episode! In today’s discussion, Chris jumps back in on the Coachella discussion with a question for ya: y’boring? y’cuda? or are y’dult?. Also discussed: Inspirational Instgram posts, Lil Uzi Vert and his Marilyn Manson necklace,…
11 - The Goat Spider Violin
Apr 10, 2017 • 60 min
Wowie, first ever 11th episode! In today’s discussion, Chris talks about the guy getting dragged off that United Airlines flight. Also discussed: Coachella, Stagecoach, country music, Shania Twain, expensive violins, pet snakes (don’t get ‘em),…
10 - Bonday
Apr 3, 2017 • 58 min
Whoa, it’s the first ever 10th episode! In today’s discussion, Chris talks about BONDAY. #bonday is a fake day that Chris invented to describe people on social media who do nothing. Every day is Bonday for them. Also discussed: Chris’s…
9 - Succinylcholine
Mar 27, 2017 • 65 min
Hey babies! It’s the 9th episode! Wow. In today’s discussion, Chris talks about Peter Thomas, the late voice actor and narrator of Forensic Files. Also discussed: meeting Sinbad, female traffic lights, and bad commercials where people laugh…
8 - Faster Than Light
Mar 20, 2017 • 67 min
Hey babies, rude bwoys and side tings! It’s the 8th episode! In today’s discussion, Chris talks about adults who play board games. Also discussed: registered sex offenders who have bad breath, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Al Pacino, Asian-American names,…