An audition tape to replace Andy Rooney

22 - First Try
Aug 21, 2018 • 6 min
Turns out you can use an iPad as a MIDI controller for GarageBand. Pretty cool! Here’s a song I made that I kind of like!
21 - Repeated Deus Ex Machina Moments
May 12, 2018
Some vaguely religious insights involving the will of God, Star Wars, and artificial intelligence at Green-Wood Cemetery.
20 - The Time I Went to a Museum and a Mysterious Ancient Screaming Statue Stopped Screaming for the First Time in Approx. 3,000 Years
Mar 18, 2018 • 6 min
19 - Carnival Ride Through the Language
Aug 20, 2017 • 23 min
Linguists, Noam Chomsky, Tom Wolfe, and hand axes. Isn’t it more fun if language is an invention?
18 - Zealot
Jul 25, 2017 • 35 min
In which I reveal that I’m a religious zealot at heart and then go off on the GOP, John McCain, Barack Obama, and Nicholas Kristof.
17 - Torture Masters
Jul 15, 2017 • 44 min
Let’s talk about solitary confinement and the imaginative leap of recognizing pain in people you don’t directly know.
16 - Audition Tape to Replace Andy Rooney
Jun 28, 2017 • 13 min
Nineball has a new mission: it is an ongoing audition tape to replace Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes.
15 - Mechanisms
Jun 19, 2017 • 12 min
An improvised fictional story about manhood and Aspergers in the mid-1980s.
14 - Are Millennials to Blame for Smaller Hotel Closets?
Jun 5, 2017 • 16 min
Who cares about being an international embarrassment, who needs hotel closets, and what’s wrong with being sensitive?
13 - Inching Closer to Another Downsize
Jun 2, 2017 • 50 min
Natali Rivers ( joins to talk about being Geminis, pushing yourself and accepting yourself, longterm relationships, personal clothing styles, and more.
12 - A Novel Written in Public
May 30, 2017 • 7 min
Follow along, won’t you, on a wonderful adventure through the tedious process of writing and refining a piece of longform fiction.
11 - There Are Fancy People Judging You
May 21, 2017 • 17 min
Vulgarity and golden toilets.
10 - America’s No. 3 Pasta Company
May 5, 2017 • 24 min
Leonard sits down with Lance Sebastian Schmegegge, the Chief Operational Talent Scout Champion at Spaghetti Enterprises.
09 - Random Family’s Photo Vacations
Apr 24, 2017 • 42 min
Anonymous conversation with a friend who we’ll call “Howard,” but basically only call him that just right now. Howard and I discuss Ulysses S. Grant, mountain taxidermy, old hard drives, the burden of anxiety, etc.
08 - The Ham Culprit
Apr 22, 2017 • 24 min
New MacBook, an unpopular opinion about the Statue of Liberty, and a call for women to come on the show, all mixed together with not a little audio distortion.
07 - The Buck Stops at the Miracle of the Mind
Apr 8, 2017 • 18 min
A hopefully not completely sophomoric ramble about computers and how they aren’t all that different from writing or art.
06 - Sponsored Content
Apr 7, 2017 • 0 min
A quick word from our good friends over at Podcast Nation. Sponsored content.
05 - You Would Probably Be a Lousy President
Feb 20, 2017 • 13 min
Everyone thinks they could be a great president who’s also funny, when really probably most people are only a bit funny and most would be lousy presidents.
04 - Veterans Affairs
Feb 8, 2017 • 10 min
Laura reads a story I wrote that we’ll call “Veterans Affairs.”
03 - Emergency Visit Kotaku
Feb 1, 2017 • 54 min
Another phone call, this time with my friend Jon, who is one of my favorite people (top two?), and also a programmer and lover of San Diego. We discuss making the case for a pay raise, digital addiction, dating profiles and, I’m sorry, computers.
02 - The Entire Tri-Pad
Jan 29, 2017 • 43 min
The first episode with a guest. My brother, David, and I talk about Japanese garden bells, the writ of habeas corpus, nuclear annihilation and more. Share this show if you like it.
01 - Nina Story
Jan 24, 2017 • 23 min
First go at a fiction episode. Unscripted fiction. A story, or the beginning of a story, about a woman named Nina who works the morning shift at Au Bon Pain in LaGuardia Airport. Is it any good? We report, you decide, etc.
00 - Nineball Teaser
Jan 18, 2017 • 24 min
24-minute teaser for new podcast program, Nineball. Nineball will sometimes just be like this, me on a microphone, and sometimes with a guest, and sometimes with a piece of oRiGiNaL fIcTiOn.