Pauly Shore's Random Rants

Pauly Shore's Random Rants

anchor.fm/pauly-shores-random-rants
Yo brozz! It’s not really a podcast, it’s just me…
074 - Slowly wrapping up the year, it’s getting close to Christmas
Dec 12 • 19 min
Laying the land of upcoming weeks. Guess what dudes? I got a movie. I play a squatter, Trump’s going down, bros! Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up!
073 - “Big Week with the Midterms”
Nov 5 • 52 min
Wieze the vote! Midterms are coming up, brozzz. Talked to my 91-year-old dad Sammy Shore. God bless him. My tour is leaving Denver and heading to the Dirty South.
072 - “Halloween on a School Night”
Nov 1 • 26 min
Halloween is a spooky night! Talking about staying in this Halloween, how I used to go to the Playboy parties, and the Landing Patch Bible.
071 - “Disjointed Episode”
Oct 14 • 55 min
Hanging out my hotel room in Syracuse, New York, playing the old diamond, letting go, and having fun silly willy.
070 - “Sin City Psycho”
Oct 11 • 31 min
What’s up, doods! Hanging out in Albany, New York letting you guys know about the structure of my one-man show and staying super positive. Also, I’m excited for my short Sin City Psycho!
069 - “I’m Feeling Better”
Oct 8 • 23 min
Hey, guys. Thanks for all your awesome emails. I’m definitely feeling better and wanted to update you on what was going on with me. I’m definitely at peace. Take a listen!
068 - “My Sister Passed Away”
Oct 5 • 31 min
Recently had more drama in my life. My sister Sandi Shore passed away and I’ve hit bottom. I feel as though I need to have a baby and start a family. Thank you to all of my fans. This podcast is to you.
067 - “Life Is Good and New Sketch Ideas Are Comin’”
Sep 20 • 30 min
Yo! Just here talking to you guys, enjoying life, and talking about how I come up with my sketch ideas. Good vibezzzz, broooo!
066 - “Comedians, the Comedy World, and My Life Currently”
Sep 12 • 31 min
What’s up, guys. I’m lying down and talking about my thoughts on the comedy world and just life in general.
065 - “Labor Day, Malibu, and Current Projects”
Sep 2 • 29 min
Happy Labor Day, doooooodz! Today I’m talking about my last vacation in Malibu and what I’m currently working on. Stay tuned for more!
064 - “Insomnia. Can’t Sleep and It’s The Middle of the Morning”
Aug 23 • 97 min
You know how sometimes you can’t sleep, so you gotta speak to someone? That’s me right now. Talking about family, how wild Trump and his cronies are, and I’m FINALLY on top of my social media platforms!
063 - “Letting It All Hang Out on a Friday Night”
Aug 11 • 28 min
Yo, broooz! Talking about drinking, our weird infatuation with serial killers, and being satisfied in my apartment.
062 - “Just Another Friday Night, Letting It All Hang Out”
Aug 4 • 0 min
Hung out with some friends and felt like doing some rants. Tonight I’m talking about my new projects coming up and the future of PAULY SHORE!
061 - “My Voyage Overseas to Israel and Moscow”
Aug 3 • 54 min
I recently went overseas for some spiritual awakening. Visited the Western Wall, wore my yarmulke, and went off to hang out with Vladimir Putin in Moscow where I drank vodka and hung out with the sexy Russian babes.
060 - “Hanging Out in Pacific Beach”
Jul 3 • 20 min
It’s Fourth of July with the Wiez, doodz! I’m hanging out at Pacific Beach in San Diego and doing the rants from the condo. Today was a good day! Feeling good and starting to let go.
059 - “Surviving Off My Real Estate”
Jun 25 • 25 min
Dudes, I’m trying to downsize and get into semi-retirement mode. First, I gotta before I sell my six-part documentary series “Stands Alone”, broozz! Tweet at Netflix, Showtime, Hulu and PornHub!
058 - “Anthony Bourdain Killed Himself. Not Cool.”
Jun 10 • 33 min
It’s been a pretty crazy weekend. As you know,Anthony Bourdain killed himself. Suicide has been on the rise, so I talk about that and other things in this next episode. Just low-key kicking back.
057 - “Buried My Friend Gary in Vegas”
Jun 3 • 29 min
Thank you so much for being there for me. I really needed this rant tonight. I’m totally burnt out. I just buried my friend Gary in Vegas. Just got back from Idaho, too. Thank you for being my friends.
056 - “LeBron James Is Scared of Me”
May 30 • 16 min
Taking it easy tonight. Lying on the daybed at my four-plex. I’m having fun telling stories about my exes and about how I attacked LeBron James.
055 - “Saying Goodbye to My Friend Gary”
May 29 • 40 min
This episode is a tribute to my friend Gary Garfinkel who recently passed away from brain cancer. The world is going to be a different place without you in it. I love you, Gary and I always will. You were not only a great friend, you were also an amazing…
054 - “Solo Mission on Saturday Night”
May 20 • 39 min
I’m looking for a new assistant. My old assistant Jacob is taking off and I had to let that butterfly fly away. All good things must come to an end, I suppose.
053 - “I Think I Have a Great Idea”
May 3 • 11 min
It’s time to put together a one-man show of the last 15 years of my life. Take a listen. Let me know.
052 - “My Buddy JB Ended His Life. I Spent time with Jim Carrey”
Apr 28 • 21 min
Crazy day. Wow. You never know what life brings you and today was an odd one .
051 - “Mom Passed”
Apr 19 • 15 min
Dealing with the passing of Mom as best I can. What a crazy experience. She was a legend to most, but to me she was my Mom. She’s at peace now and so am I.
050 - “Banging At The 4-Plex”
Mar 17 • 22 min
Webcam babes are making the cash, broooz! 💰
049 - “Swimming With the Pigs”
Dec 30, 2017 • 24 min
This is my last rant before 2018! It’s pretty sweet. Love you guys. Happy New Year!
048 - “The Big Apple and Trump’s Report Card”
Dec 18, 2017 • 25 min
Vacationing and seeing old friends in NYC. Evaluating Trump after one year. Getting ready for 2018!
047 - “Holiday Season Is a Weird Time”
Dec 11, 2017 • 16 min
Took a break around the holidays, but I’m back and better than ever. Earth to stoners! come in, stoners!
046 - “Personal Stuff and Women in My Life”
Jul 26, 2017 • 24 min
Very raw and uncensored. I’m just telling you how I feel today about relationships, my mom, and much, much more.
045 - “Moving to Thailand”
Jun 30, 2017 • 22 min
I’m really happy for comics who are making a lot of money just for talking on a stage. It’s pretty crazy. I know how to capture Kim Jung Un. Also, I’m considering moving to Thailand. I think I’d fit in there.
044 - “Talked to Mike Tyson and Trump Spatched”
May 18, 2017 • 29 min
Had a nice call with Mike Tyson and his wife Kiki. Was feeling kinda depressed, so I took the day off. Whatever though, you guys. I still want you to check out my new show on Crackle! Love you all :)
043 - “Coffee Maker Broke and My New Show Is on Crackle”
May 12, 2017 • 25 min
Ups and downs, just like always. Excited my podcast interview show finally premiered on Crackle. I’m the new Seinfeld! What’s the deal with that, brozzz?!
042 - “My Sister Had Surgery and Captured with Bobby Lee”
Apr 10, 2017 • 22 min
I’m back home in the Four-Plex. I’m alone tonight and I’m getting very personal😳. Enjoy.
041 - “Bye Bye Birdy and I Baby Powder My Balls”
Apr 4, 2017 • 32 min
Not sure how I feel about the fact that my gay masseuse got mad at me for not letting him jerk me off. Not cool, bro. Not into it. Spatch. Also, I’ve discovered a new maintenance method for my balls.
040 - “Bobby Lee’s Penis and Enjoy Your Saturday”
Apr 1, 2017 • 36 min
I had fun recording this one. Trump Wiezed into the White House and I’m in charge of the chicken fingers at the Comedy Store. Extra crispy, brozzz!
039 - “Gotta Lose 10 Lbs and Dinner With My Ex”
Mar 16, 2017 • 22 min
Rise and grind, brozz! Early Bird Catches the Wiez.
038 - “Missing My Ex”
Mar 8, 2017 • 23 min
The grass isn’t always greener, you guys. Seriously.
037 - “Matzah Balls and Kellyanne Conway”
Mar 1, 2017 • 22 min
Food for the soul is what I needed to make me feel better. Jewish soup is super yum, you guys. Kellyanne Conway’s hot too, right? She can deflect any question. I’d love to be next to her, not in a sexual way, either. Would love to grab a drink with her…
036 - “Kids Today, Black Dudes and White Chicks”
Feb 17, 2017 • 21 min
I thought I was wild when I was a kid but, dude, I was nothing like today’s kids. Twitter should change their name to Clitter. Also, black penises are gorgeous. They’re like sea serpents in the sky.
035 - “Kirk Fox Is Getting Married!”
Feb 15, 2017 • 35 min
If the Ostrich can settle down and get married, so can the Wiez.
034 - “Joe Rogan & I Are Friends and Adam Sandler Is King”
Feb 7, 2017 • 29 min
I shed a tear tonight, you guys. Had some alone time with sweet baby Joe. Also, no one can stop Adam Sandler. May the force be with Jew!
033 - “Ban All Wiezelz”
Jan 29, 2017 • 20 min
Trump! Wtf, bro? Spatch, spatch, super spatch! Not cool, dude.
032 - “I’m Burnt and Mexico & US Should Pay for the Wall”
Jan 27, 2017 • 21 min
I’m like a piece of toast. My chest needs to be scraped, and my toe jam needs to be cleaned out. Gnarly, right? I think Mexico and the US should go Dutch on the wall.
031 - “Trump Is Our Prez and Dad turns 90”
Jan 22, 2017 • 32 min
I still can’t believe the orange baboon is our president. He’s so wild, you guys. Happy 90th, Dad. I love you.
030 - “Neal Brennan on Netflix and Dad’s 90th Bday at The Comedy Store
Jan 20, 2017 • 28 min
Encore! Encore! Way to go, Neal. You’re Netflix special was very unique, just like your posture. Dad’s 90th birthday is going to be awesome.
029 - “Sara Patti”
Jan 14, 2017 • 21 min
Sara Patti is the number-one fan of Random Rants. She emails me often at paulyrants@gmail.com. Love you, Patti Melt.
028 - “Saying Bye to Obama”
Jan 10, 2017 • 20 min
Loved him even though I never met him. Thank you for being you, Barry. See ya in Hawaii where we’ll smoke some ganja, doood. Michelle. Whaddup, gurrrl?!
027 - “Wrongfully Accused and the Golden Globes”
Jan 9, 2017 • 17 min
I wanna party with dudes who were wrongfully accused for crimes they didn’t commit. I want to get them wasted and laid, dude. Yet another year I won’t be going to the Golden Globes. Not cool, brozzz!
026 - “President-Elect”
Jan 4, 2017 • 28 min
Orange baboon! What’s up, bro? Have you banged any interns yet on the same desk that Bill banged Monica or what? Talk to me. C’mon, bro. You’re lagging.
025 - “Dad’s 90th Birthday”
Jan 3, 2017 • 24 min
Let’s all give a round of applause for my dad Sammy Shore! He’s gonna outlive us all. Getting ready for his 90th birthday. God bless him.
024 - “Bye to 2016 and Korean Spas”
Dec 31, 2016 • 43 min
So long, suckazz! Dude, why is your pee-pee so small? I love looking at naked Asian men, brozz!
023 - “My Christmas in Gilbert”
Dec 26, 2016 • 26 min
Had such an awesome time with Allie Boo Boo and her family. Thank you for taking me in and showing me love. Son in Law 2016!!!
022 - “Buffalo Hotel and Life Before the Internet”
Dec 17, 2016 • 30 min
I’m living large, brozz! I Love fluffy hotel rooms on the road. Life was easier back in the day before our brains were all mush. Not cool, doodz!
021 - “Girlfriend’s for Christmas and Buffalo”
Dec 17, 2016 • 28 min
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, coming to Gilbert, AZ. OJ was great on the Bills.
20 - “Prison Shows and Naps”
Dec 10, 2016 • 21 min
Obsessed with MSN Lock Up. Definitely makes me feel better about my living situation. If two dudes can live in harmony in a 5x7 ft jail cell, I can live in my four-plex just fine. I’m tired. Goodnight.
019 - “My NYC Trip Was Trippy”
Dec 8, 2016 • 15 min
Thank you so much for letting me bite into your big apple. Love the city! NYC is my second home.
018 “The Real Deal”
Dec 3, 2016 • 26 min
There’s fakes and posers, people who are not transparent. But his one’s the real deal.
017 - “Feeling It”
Nov 29, 2016 • 19 min
Yeah, dawg! Let’s do this. I got back my mojo and I’m looking for a dojo… brooo!
016 - “Looking Back”
Nov 25, 2016 • 15 min
Mmmmmm, I like what I see. The past is quite bright.
015 - “Fly-Over States”
Nov 23, 2016 • 14 min
Where’s my swamp people at?! Love the tertiary markets. (That means third-tier, bro.) The towns in between the small towns. Carnies with moles on their necks. Love these peeps.
014 - “Frustrated with My Stand Up”
Nov 19, 2016 • 16 min
I’ve been doing this for over 25 years, you guys. And guess what, I’m still trying to figure it out. Stand up is very fragile.
013 - “Feeling Good”
Nov 18, 2016 • 16 min
I’m in my happy place. Super fuzzies, you guyz. All I need is some cocoa. Yum yum, brooz.
012 - “Steve Bannon”
Nov 14, 2016 • 13 min
Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler!
011 - “My Life Now and More Trump”
Nov 12, 2016 • 18 min
I’m just the average Joe, traveling town-to-town, peddling my comedic goods. I can’t believe the red baboon’s our president. That’s DEFINITELY not cool. God help us all!
010 - “Trump”
Nov 9, 2016 • 15 min
Bye, you guyz. It was nice knowing you. I’m moving to Canada. Maple syrup, brozz!
009 - “Night Before the Election”
Nov 8, 2016 • 12 min
I’m scared, really scared. But then again… fuck it. What happens, happens. Regardless, you guys are my fans and I am your Wiez!
008 - “San Antonio Airport”
Nov 6, 2016 • 22 min
Everyone’s staring at me. Not cool, dood! I’m just trying to rant to my fans. I need a margarita.
007 - “What’s in My Head”
Oct 29, 2016 • 14 min
You definitely have to hear this one. The stuff that’s in my head is quite bizarre.
006 - “Life Before the Internet”
Oct 26, 2016 • 14 min
It was so much easier before the internet. Now, our brains are mush. Not cool, doodz!
005 - “Glass Half Full and Traveling”
Oct 21, 2016 • 17 min
I’m alive. I can walk and breathe. Doing better than most. Gotta get out to the people because that’s my happy place.
004 - “Clinton vs Trump and Middle America”
Oct 14, 2016 • 17 min
It’s like the “Thrilla in Manila”. Her versus him. What’s gonna happen? Who’s gonna win? Hillary don’t diss the fly over states!!!
003 - “What I’ve Been up to and Allie Boo Boo”
Oct 14, 2016 • 21 min
I’m the average Joe, just hanging out with my sweet babe Allie Boo Boo. We’re just doing our thing.
002 - “Caitlyn Jenner, Social Media, and the Gym”
Oct 14, 2016 • 19 min
I’m all confused and I don’t know what to do. Everyone’s going cray cray!
001 - “Welcome to Random Rants!”
Oct 14, 2016 • 13 min
I got rants in my pants and I gotta get ‘em to your ear lobes, brozz! Welcome. This is from me to you. Let’s do this!