Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

slate.com/prudiepod
Advice, commentary, and conversation from Daniel Mallory Ortberg, author of Slate’s Dear Prudence column.
“Aren’t We Friends?” Edition
Dec 18 • 56 min
Prudence is joined this week by writer Soraya McDonald, the culture critic for The Undefeated on ESPN. Previously, she wrote about pop culture for the Washington Post, focusing on issues surrounding race, gender, and sexuality. Together, they dig into…
“Addiction Fatigue” Edition
Dec 11 • 67 min
Prudence is joined this week by San Francisco writer Laura Turner, who also happens to be Prudie’s older sister. Together, they tackle letters about what actions to take when you’re friends with a married couple who abuse each other, what to do when your…
“Always Testing Me” Edition
Dec 4 • 60 min
Prudence is joined this week by Chris Randle, a New York based writer who came here from Canada. He’s written for places like Hazlitt, The New York Times Magazine, Pitchfork, and Real Life.Together, they dig into letters about how to handle a brother who…
“Socializing While Sober” Edition
Nov 27 • 59 min
Prudence is joined this week by Sophie Bee, a writer, speaker, nightlife promoter, and activist. She has written about film, music, queerness, and sex work. She is an organizer with Support Ho(s)e, a Chicago and New York City based collective advocating…
“Nixed Nuptials” Edition
Nov 20 • 61 min
Prudence is joined this week by Carta Monir, an Ignatz award-winning cartoonist living in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Grace Lavery, an Assistant Professor of English at UC Berkeley.Together, this power trio tears into letters about what to do when your…
“Animal Husband-ry” Edition
Nov 13 • 51 min
Prudence is joined this week by Jenée Desmond-Harris, an op-ed editor at the New York Times. One of the resolutions she’s been working on all year is to become someone who inspires people say “you don’t suffer fools”. Together they tackle letters about…
“Enough Is Enough” Edition
Nov 6 • 56 min
Prudence is joined this week by Anna Sale, the host of the podcast, Death, Sex & Money, a show about the things we think about a lot and need to talk about more.Together they dig into letters about how to spend the holidays with a sister who is alarmingly…
“Shy Spy” Edition
Oct 30 • 42 min
Prudence is joined this week by Hillary Eason and her brother, Tyler Eason. Hillary works in international development in Washington DC. Tyler is a data engineer in the Bay Area. They claim to have another sibling who is arguably better at giving advice,…
“Misguided Text” Edition
Oct 23 • 40 min
Prudence is joined this week by Tyler Mead, an associate producer of the queer comedy podcast, “Inside the Closet” hosted by comedians Emma Willmann and Matteo Lane. Together they dig into letters about what to do when the #metoo news has you not wanting…
“Fun, Flirty Friends” Edition
Oct 16 • 46 min
Prudence is joined this week by Folu Akinkuotu, an internet person who lives in Boston. She’s an obsessive home baker who is always happy to share her baked goods from the endless supply in her purse. She has a better haircut than you and has never once…
“Brother Betrayal” Edition
Oct 9 • 52 min
Prudence is joined this week by Washington DC based writer, Zoë Selengut. Zoë works as a cataloger of rare and unusual books, ephemera, and other surprising cultural materials for Brian Cassidy Bookseller. Together they dig into letters about what to do…
“Slightly Lesser Mess” Edition
Oct 2 • 57 min
Prudence is joined this week by San Francisco based game critic, Carolyn Petit. Carolyn is the managing editor at Feminist Frequency, and a co-host on their podcast, Feminist Frequency Radio, alongside Anita Sarkeesian and Ebony Adams.Together they tackle…
“Obstinate Husbands” Edition
Sep 25 • 55 min
Prudence is joined this week by writer, actor and comedian Zahra Noorbakhsh. Zahra is co-host of the podcast #GoodMuslimBadMuslim, and The Pop Culture Collaborative has named her their Senior Fellow on Comedy for Social Change. Together they dig into…
“Unnecessary Shame” Edition
Sep 18 • 57 min
Prudence is joined this week by Assistant Professor of English at UC Berkeley, Grace Lavery. Her first book, “Quaint, Exquisite: Victorian Aesthetics And The Idea Of Japan,” is forthcoming with Princeton University Press in 2019, and she is currently…
“Sister Misery” Edition
Sep 11 • 55 min
Prudence is joined this week by Portland based author and technology expert Brook Shelley. Brook works for Turbine Labs and chairs the board for Basic Rights Oregon. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your stressed out sister’s only…
“Done Raising Children” Edition
Sep 4 • 43 min
Prudence is joined this week by comedian Kate Willett, who has appeared on Comedy Central and Viceland. She has an album called Glass Gutter, and has a new special out on The Comedy Lineup on Netflix. Together they tackle letters about how to get out of a…
“Work Talk At Home” Edition
Aug 28 • 53 min
Prudence is joined this week by Jane McGonigal, the inventor of SuperBetter, a mobile game that has helped over a million people recover faster from depression and traumatic brain injury. Together they take on letters about what to do when you feel your…
“Leftover Food” Edition
Aug 21 • 43 min
Prudence is joined this week by Sorcha Reilly, an Oakland native who works in litigation consulting. She’s preparing for her MBA at INSEAD, and has been known to procrastinate by playing top 40 hits on the violin. Together they tackle letters what to do…
“Bare Minimum of Icy Neutrality” Edition
Aug 14 • 56 min
Prudence is joined this week by Kim Brinckerhoff, a lifelong Bay Area resident working on her master’s degree in nursing and who does sexual assault advocacy in her free time (and also thinks everyone needs therapy). Together they tackle letters about…
“Family Heirloom Accountant” Edition
Aug 7 • 49 min
Prudence is joined this week by writer and podcaster Colin Atrophy Hagendorf. Their memoir, Slice Harvester, is about eating a plain slice from every pizzeria in Manhattan, New York City history, and quitting drinking. They take on letters about what to…
“Stoner Shame” Edition
Jul 31 • 49 min
Prudence is joined this week by writer John Thompson. Together they take on letters about how to talk to your parents about all your unpaid babysitting work, dealing with discomfort that your brother is dating a sex worker, how to avoid stoner shame, and…
“Hots For My Cousin” Edition
Jul 24 • 51 min
Prudence is joined this week by writer, editor, and cool mom, Dominique Matti. Together, they tackle letters about how much you need to tell your work about your health problems, what do do about a casually racist coworker, should you involve your child’s…
“Weapons Grade Pettiness” Edition
Jul 17 • 51 min
Prudence is joined this week by media critic Anita Sarkeesian. Together, they tackle letters about how to talk to your friends who aren’t receptive to your concerns that they may be co-opting your cultural and religious practices, what actions you can…
“Invisible Girl” Edition
Jul 10 • 47 min
Prudence is joined this week by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author Jennifer Egan, whose latest book is Manhattan Beach. They take on letters that deal with what to expect from bosses when you have abusive co-workers, how to deal with the despair from…
“Unexpected Inheritance” Edition
Jul 3 • 49 min
Prudence is joined this week by marriage and family therapist Abigail Stone and Rebecca Ganetzky, a clinical geneticist. Together, they dig into questions about what do do when your ex husband tries to rename your daughter, should you conceal your abuse…
Prudence Presents: Better Life Lab
Jul 1 • 28 min
Today, we’re coming to you with something special — the inaugural episode of Better Life Lab, the new podcast from Slate and New America. Better Life Lab looks at the challenges to work-life balance, and how we can change as a culture. Subscribe to Better…
“Is Cheating Ever Ok?” Edition
Jun 26 • 61 min
Prudence is joined this week by Daniel Summers, a practicing pediatrician and regular contributing columnist to Slate’s Outward section, where he writes about health and medicine topics that affect the LGBTQ community. The Daniels take on questions about…
“Bullying Sister-in-Law” Edition
Jun 19 • 55 min
Prudence is joined this week by Talia Jane, a NYC-based aspiring comedy writer who makes smoothies for a living and who wants you to join a union. Daniel and Talia tackle questions about whether un-friending someone on social media because of their…
“Demeaning My Coworkers” Edition
Jun 12 • 48 min
Prudence is joined this week by Gavia Baker-Whitelaw, a geek culture critic at the Daily Dot, and co-host of the podcast Overinvested. This week they take on letters about how to talk to your child about transgender identity, how to talk to others at work…
“Crush On My Job Interviewer” Edition
Jun 5 • 54 min
Prudence is joined this week by Courtney C.W. Guerra, an editor and writer who’s been giving advice as Dear Businesslady since 2014. Together, they tackle questions about talking to your partner who thinks they know how to do your job better than you, how…
“Do I Buy the Ticket?” Edition
May 29 • 45 min
Prudence is joined this week by researcher and writer Jamie Fisher. Together they take on questions about whether or not to visit a close platonic friend that makes their partner jealous, how to talk to my partner about the fact that sex might be off the…
“Poly Wedding Invite Etiquette” Edition
May 22 • 56 min
Prudence is joined this week by writer and activist Jaclyn Friedman. Together they tackle questions about whether it’s ever ok to misgender someone when talking to a doctor, when to establish boundaries when working as a personal assistant, how to think…
“I Wanna Kidnap a Dog” Edition
May 15 • 39 min
Prudence is joined this week by standup comedian Myq Kaplan, who hosts the new podcast Broccoli and Ice Cream, and who is making his second appearance on the show. Together they take on questions about how to decide if your partner is being vulnerable or…
“Women Are Too Distracting” Edition
May 8 • 50 min
Prudence is joined this week by Jessie Lane, a social worker, mother, excellent cook, and holder of many opinions (and in this episode, holder of a baby). They tackle questions about how to deal with a coworker who tells the boss about their seemingly…
“Inspector Javert of Office Meatballs” Edition
May 1 • 50 min
Prudence is joined this week by Aria Velasquez, an audience engagement editor at Slate. First up, I’m worried my discussion with my eight year old about me and my husband’s sexual orientation has greatly confused her, please help! Next…my family is…
“Calculated Incursion On My Workplace” Edition
Apr 24 • 58 min
Prudence is joined this week by Kayla Whaley, a writer living outside Atlanta with a focus on disability, sexuality, and the body. First, this letter writer has a great job but is feeling anxious about her close friend applying for any available job at…
“Expensive Bulk Food-Grazer” Edition
Apr 17 • 47 min
Prudence is joined this week by Paola Dayanan, a TV-obsessed HR professional from Northern Virginia. First, a letter writer struggles with work after two devastating losses and a manager who doesn’t seem supportive. Next, a concerned letter writer cannot…
“Mommy Moocher” Edition
Apr 10 • 47 min
Prudence is joined by Krystal Farmer: twitter, podcast, and emo music enthusiast. First, my partner will no longer accompany me to my family’s gathering because of the “redneck BS” he hears - what can I do? Next, my family won’t turn off their Alexa…
“Wizard Privilege” Edition
Apr 3 • 42 min
Prudence is joined by Margie Omero, a Democratic pollster and co-host of the bipartisan podcast “The Pollsters.” First up, my life feels unglamorous and the TV shows I watch just make me bitter, how can I address this? Next, I have a great relationship…
“Falling for My Co-Parent” Edition
Mar 27 • 49 min
Prudence is joined by Baby Ange, host of the podcast Femme Too Deep. First up, a letter about “sex negativity” - this letter-writer did not enjoy sex with their partner but is having trouble finding constructive words to talk about it. Next, a father (and…
“Spousal Acknowledgement” Edition
Mar 20 • 40 min
Prudence is joined by Olga Kreimer, a journalist and grad student who writes an aggressively earnest advice column at the LA Review of Books. First up: will it be awkward if I don’t mention my husband in the acknowledgment of my first book since he was…
“Holidays of Their Own Design” Edition
Mar 13 • 42 min
Prudence is joined by Josh Gondelman, stand up comedian and writer for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. First up, my Uncle says he won’t come to my wedding unless he’s joined by the woman he had an affair with, but my Aunt and their kids are still…
“Early Summer Chicken” Edition
Mar 6 • 47 min
Prudence is joined by powerhouse couple Gillian Evans and Lucy Mueller to help answer letters. First up: I’ve begun fostering a young child whose parents want me to prepare halal meals for him, but my family’s diet is much different - what should I do?…
“Nosey Desk-Searching Boss” Edition
Feb 27 • 47 min
Prudence is joined by Justine D’Souza, a Phone Support Counselor for a youth helpline. We start with a job seeker who has concerns about disclosing their health problems during the interview process. Then, an employee whose boss searches their desk and…
“Relentlessly Friendly Neighbor” Edition
Feb 20 • 47 min
Prudence is joined by Jolie Kerr, a cleaning expert, advice columnist and host of the podcast, Ask a Clean Person. We begin with a concerned letter-writer whose sister is involved with a reckless and dangerous partner on how she can remain supportive…
“Not Your Mom” Edition
Feb 13 • 48 min
Prudence is joined by writer and self-appointed mom friend Jess Reynolds. First up, my ex and I “split the sheets” (tamer than you might think) after our career paths didn’t align, but I’m feeling drawn to him again even though I’m engaged to someone else…
“Not Unconditional Love” Edition
Feb 6 • 54 min
Prudence is joined by hosts of the podcast By the Book: Kristen Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. First, how can I talk to my parents about feeling like I’m only acknowledged for academic achievements? Next, advice for an older sister unsure of how to help…
Live “Cruise-ship Romance” Edition
Jan 30 • 68 min
Our first live show! Prudence is joined onstage at the Brava Theater in San Francisco by writer and advice columnist Nicole Cliffe and lawyer and novelist Jasmine Guillory who read through letters and answer questions from the crowd. The team helps a…
“Tepidly Panromantic” Edition
Jan 23 • 45 min
This week, writer Rohin Guha tells us of the joys of leaving Twitter post Trump election. First, the Prudence team takes on gender discrimination at a so-called forward-thinking progressive company. “Tired Asexual” asks “how do I regain my ability to…
“Ongoing Fling with a Famous Person” Edition
Jan 16 • 57 min
Prudence is joined this week by Charlotte Shane, author, essayist, and co-founder of TigerBee Press. First up - what to say when your sister compares your desire to have a child with adopting a cat. And how can I respectfully deal with attending friends’…
“Reverse Kids Get Off My Lawn” Edition
Jan 9 • 46 min
This week we tackle the timeless question of how to eat from a jar of peanut butter in public when you don’t have a utensil. Then, farmer, educator, and food justice advocate Anna Luberoff joins to help with the mailbag. First, when dealing with…
“Eternally Engaged” Edition
Jan 2 • 46 min
This week we’re revisiting some of the trickiest, thorniest questions of the past year. First up: I’ve been engaged for five years with no wedding in sight. Help! What do I say to strangers who tell me I’m “not dark enough” to be from my home country? I’m…
“Personal ATM” Edition
Dec 26, 2017 • 49 min
This week we’re revisiting some of the trickiest, thorniest questions of the past year. First up: I keep lending my friend money and she never pays me back. Help! Then: I love my daughter-in-law, so why doesn’t my son want me talking to her? My employee…
“Selfish Sister” Edition
Dec 19, 2017 • 55 min
We’re kicking off this week with some listener feedback on good problem to have – adjusting to earning enough money for more than just the essentials of life! And then, professional trans lesbian Elizabeth Mills joins to respond to your letters! First up:…
“Schrödinger’s Stolen Cat” Edition
Dec 12, 2017 • 52 min
First up: An enthusiastic endorsement from Prudence for walking out of movies you don’t like! Then, academic and pop culture writer Anthony Oliveira joins to tackle your letters: How do I get my husband to stop using a body spray that makes me ill? My…
“Dirty Secret” Edition
Dec 5, 2017 • 48 min
Advice enthusiast and diversity consultant Valerie Aurora joins for a discussion of keeping your Christmas costumes away from Thanksgiving. Then onto your letters! First up: My best friends are growing closer and leaving me behind. Help! Should I tell my…
“Oh, Roger” Edition
Nov 28, 2017 • 50 min
Listener Rachel Tibbetts joins for a doozy of a batch of sibling and family related letters. First up: my sister is repeating the same mistakes as my homewrecker father and she expects my support. Help! My parents never gave me a dime growing up and now…
“Master of Disaster” Edition
Nov 21, 2017 • 42 min
Dear Prudence is back with her annual reminder: it’s okay to ruin the holidays! Then, advice columnist Anna Pulley joins to respond to your letters! First up: can an open marriage save my sexless one? I moved to a retirement community where 1970s-style…
“Drama Tornado” Edition
Nov 14, 2017 • 60 min
Author Sarah Gailey joins Prudence to advise on matters of laundry, sisterhood, salary, and more! First up: what’s the protocol for abandoned clothes in a public dryer? Then: Should I tell my sister I think marrying her fiance is a mistake? My friends are…
“Wishin’ Boot” Edition
Nov 7, 2017 • 52 min
Prudence is back to tackle your letters! First up: I think my workplace is about to hire the terrible boss from my last job. Help! The love of my life left me for a friend of ours when I was pregnant with his child – am I supposed to try to co-parent with…
“Friend of the Devil” Edition
Oct 31, 2017 • 39 min
Writer Rachael Herron joins Prudence to tackle a bundle of tricky letters! First up: Should I have said something to the men making sexist comments within earshot of my wife? My friend ignored my warnings about her terrible ex – now she says I abandoned…
“Go Dutch” Edition
Oct 24, 2017 • 45 min
Writer and Bitch magazine co-founder Lisa Jervis joins Prudence to hash out how to be the best “mysterious widow” – and respond to your letters! First up: Should I tell an acquaintance her boyfriend is a known rapist? My sister’s fertility battle is…
“Rich Girl” Edition
Oct 17, 2017 • 54 min
Dear Prudence and guest Mary Goss navigate your family and relationship quandaries. First up: Is it selfish to feel fear after surviving tragedy when other people had it way worse? How can I get my hearing family to accept me? My adoptive sibling doesn’t…
“On the Nose” Edition
Oct 10, 2017 • 52 min
In a spirit of excitement and terror, Prudie and Washington Post writer Amanda Erickson, jump into your letters. First up: I punched an emotionally abusive family member in the face – how do I make it up to her? How do I get my in-laws to stop calling my…
“Good Grief” Edition
Oct 3, 2017 • 54 min
Y.A. fiction writer and advocate for the disabled Maggie Faid joins Prudie to consult on matters of wedding guests, grief, and giving iPads to strangers. Should I tell my best friend how sad I am that she can’t come to my wedding? My sister tells everyone…
“Hot Mess” Edition
Sep 26, 2017 • 56 min
Former Toast editor Nikki Chung joins Prudie to tackle a thorny bunch of your letters! First up: I’m living with a slob and I can’t afford to move out. Help! How do I get my husband to be kinkier in the bedroom? I might have prompted my daughter to make a…
“Sunk Cost” Edition
Sep 19, 2017 • 49 min
Writer and commentator Lindy West joins Prudence to encourage Thelma-and-Louise-style road trips for jilted lovers and discourage kicking people out of wedding parties. First up in your letters: My boyfriend period shames me. Help! My fiancé has been…
“Rumpelstiltskin” Edition
Sep 12, 2017 • 53 min
Today on Dear Prudence: baby-stealing, stalking, and insufficient wokeness. First up: My boss keeps joking about wanting to take my baby. Help! Should I tell potential employers I had a stalker? My husband’s kids found out he smokes weed and he’s blaming…
“Checking In” Edition
Sep 5, 2017 • 58 min
Buzzfeed’s Nichole Perkins joins to help out with your letters! I was open about my depression on social media and only some of my friends reached out to me – should I stay close with the others? The woman who ruined my marriage got hit by a car… and I’m…
“Pray on This” Edition
Aug 29, 2017 • 54 min
First up: an exciting update on the one true way to date a former boss and how Prudie helped make it happen. Then, your letters! My mom wants me to discourage my daughter from doing “boy” things. My friends are convinced my boyfriend is a stalker! My…
“Strangers on a Train” Edition
Aug 22, 2017 • 54 min
Today, it’s a coming out party for first-time fig-eaters, brothers, people who don’t want to talk about their hair, artists, and more! First up: My dad wants my brother to wait to tell my conservative grandma he’s gay, but I think he should come out now.…
“Feelings Roulette” Edition
Aug 15, 2017 • 48 min
Today we’ve got a very important update regarding the bidet letter! Then, Ali St. James & Olivia Pourzia join Prudie to triple-team your problems. My parents are insisting on helping me furnish my grad school apartment, but keep hinting that it’s a…
“Panoply of Deviance” Edition
Aug 8, 2017 • 46 min
Writer, commentator and professor Roxane Gay joins Prudie to tackle your problems with online dating, bosses, exes, kids, and more! How do I avoid matching with my students on online dating apps? My boss won’t stop telling me to smile. Help! Should I…
“Mulligan” Edition
Aug 1, 2017 • 47 min
Prudence is joined by guest Alyssa Furukawa to get real about what it means to say “I’m on my way.” Then, onto your letters! I’m a pansexual woman married to a cis man – should I still come out to my homophobic family? My in-laws won’t accept my…
“Radical Unfriendliness” Edition
Jul 25, 2017 • 54 min
Dear Prudence is joined by BuzzFeed’s Bim Adewunmi to respond to your letters. First up: how do I handle people who tell me I’m not brown enough to be Indian? Then, romance issues: my best friend can’t get over my fiancé’s past and won’t come to our…
“Open it Up” Edition
Jul 18, 2017 • 38 min
Matt Albrecht and Hannah Malyn of the podcast “Matt and Hannah Know it All” join Prudie to advise on your inquiries. First up: I know I should end my friend-with-benefits relationship, but I don’t want to. How do I cut ties with an emotionally abusive…
“Bidet and Boujee” Edition
Jul 11, 2017 • 45 min
First up: is a movie franchise trying to gaslight Prudie? Then, onto your letters: I’m a think I’m a pretty progressive mom, but I don’t understand the gender fluidity movement. I asked my friend not to drink with my alcoholic parents and she turned…
“Flowers in the Attic” Edition
Jul 4, 2017 • 51 min
First up: how Prudie and her ex, Jamie Shuler, bonded over Flowers in the Attic. Then, the two tag team your letters, starting with a workplace matter of misplaced credit. Then, onto sibling strife: My sister lied about her dog dying – should I confront…
“Capitalism is the Problem” Edition
Jun 27, 2017 • 47 min
Writer and journalist Laurie Penny joins Prudence today to tackle your family and work quandaries! How can I convince my husband to buck social pressure and stick to being a stay-at-home dad? My apartment building reeks of pot and makes me nauseated – how…
“Dealbreaker” Edition
Jun 20, 2017 • 51 min
Comedian Myq Kaplan joins Prudence for a heated conversation about stoves. Then, onto your letters: Is meat a good enough reason to end a relationship? Should I fight for more money to close the gender wage gap even though I’m fairly paid? My son won’t…
“Call 311” Edition
Jun 13, 2017 • 44 min
First up, an opening statement from Prudence on the merits of 3D BC movies. Then, your letters! When is it okay to ask for exclusivity in a relationship? Can I cut down my reclusive neighbor’s dead tree? I’m trying to get back into the dating world, but…
“Workplace Hazard” Edition
Jun 6, 2017 • 54 min
Prudie’s brother-in-law Zack Turner joins to advise on your family, workplace and relationship dilemmas! First up: How can I get my mom to stop shaming me for gaining weight my first year at college? Then: my introvert boyfriend refuses to socialize with…
“Resignation” Edition
May 30, 2017 • 57 min
Prudence is joined by novelist Esmé Weijun Wang to advise on a batch of your family and relationship issues. First up: I fell in love with my dead husband’s best friend – then my in-laws found out and all hell broke loose. Help! When’s the right time to…
“Death of the Ego” Edition
May 23, 2017 • 53 min
Prudie learns about birthday spankings this week! Plus, how smartphones ruined pushing your friends into pools. Then, your letters! Should I report the employee who creeped me out at an internship I no longer have? How do I let my friends and family know…
“Cat-astrophe” Edition
May 16, 2017 • 51 min
Prudie and guest Ben Gullard get real about handling criticism. Then they tackle your letters! First up, a new take on cat conundrums: My wife thinks I love our cat more than her and I think she may be right! I’m upset that my husband doesn’t want my son…
“Gravity Is Mad at You” Edition
May 9, 2017 • 46 min
Prudie kicks it off on a light note this week: we’re all going to die someday and the sky is scary. Then, onto your letters! My love worries that I’ll be giving up too much if we move across the country so he can take a rare opportunity. My husband…
“United Front” Edition
May 2, 2017 • 46 min
First off, Prudie’s open door policy: open doors for people when it makes sense. Then onto your questions: My MIL is telling my nine-year-old to give up on school because she’ll be a stay-at-home mom one day. My wife says she supports my transition, but…
“Hardly Working” Edition
Apr 25, 2017 • 62 min
First, a plug for more rivalries to be battled out through the giving of jewels. Then, Prudence is joined by gem Ashley C. Ford to answer your questions! I got stuck with the dramatic girl in my night class to work on a group project – how do I handle…
“Dickensian” Edition
Apr 18, 2017 • 51 min
Prudence is joined by award-winning Bay Area writer Charlie Jane Anders to give award-winning advice. First up: my sister remembers a completely different childhood than me and it’s driving a wedge in our relationship. Then, some parental problems: My…
“Anti-Pronoun” Edition
Apr 11, 2017 • 52 min
Prudie says, nine times out of ten it is not a good idea to steal someone else’s pet. Then, your questions: My husband refuses to do anything about his snoring and it’s keeping my family up at night. My friend overcharged me for rent and lied about it, so…
“Raise the Bar” Edition Part 2
Apr 4, 2017 • 36 min
Jos Lavery is back to help with more of your questions! First, two very different letters about depression: my husband has disengaged from our marriage; a friend I’m not very close to anymore is using me as his only emotional outlet. Then, I like my…
“Raise the Bar” Edition Part 1
Mar 28, 2017 • 42 min
Prudence is joined by writer and academic Jos Lavery to answer your questions! First, my adult child just came out as trans – I support her, but when do we get to start talking about things other than being trans? A guy in my dorm sets an obnoxious alarm…
“Voyagers” Edition
Mar 21, 2017 • 45 min
First up: A beginners guide to Star Trek. Then, onto your questions: Should I stay with my narcissistic husband to protect my kids from him? Was I wrong not to tip a masseuse that overcharged me? Is it inappropriate for me to go to the funeral for my…
“P.S.A.” Edition
Mar 14, 2017 • 48 min
A request from Prudence: be the kind of Starfleet that you wish to see in the world. Then, onto your questions with awkward situation pro Emily McDowell. My friend surprised me by covering my hotel room for her wedding – do I need to up the ante on the…
“Dolly Dearest” Edition
Mar 8, 2017 • 41 min
Objectively, the worst thing that can happen is getting a thumbs down while driving. Prudence is joined today by writer Jasmine Sanders to advise a woman who’s worried her husband wants to adopt a child and she doesn’t. Then: how to act if you secretly…
“Workplace Politics” Edition
Feb 28, 2017 • 35 min
Prudie is joined by herself on a very special solo episode of Dear Prudence. First up, a listener voicemail: My partner is worried our role playing is bad for me, but I don’t think it is. Then onto your letters! Then onto your letters! Will strangers ever…
“Cats Can Be Gay” Edition
Feb 21, 2017 • 45 min
If you don’t like it when people say “no problem,” then you’re the one with the problem, Prudie says. Then onto your questions: How do I talk to my adopted black daughter about race? My husband won’t keep his hands off me in public! I’m gay – what next?…
“Oppression Olympics” Edition
Feb 14, 2017 • 60 min
Feeling hopeless about the state of the world? Prudence has some advice for how to carry on without totally losing it. Then, writer Shafiqah Hudson joins Prudie to answer your questions: How do I convince my friend that he benefits from white privilege?…
“Line in the Sand” Edition
Feb 8, 2017 • 52 min
First off, some cold hard truth from Prudence: it never works to have a chore wheel. Then, onto your questions. Should I confront an acquaintance if I think he may be cutting himself? Then, my boyfriend’s business partner is a horrible house guest and…
“Chasing Amy” Edition
Jan 31, 2017 • 46 min
A friendly reminder from Prudence: advice is not one-size-fits-all! Writer and podcaster Christina Grace joins Prudie to help a woman break it to her in-laws that her family won’t be going to church; a military mom decide who should care for her daughter;…
“Young Guns” Edition
Jan 24, 2017 • 45 min
Prudie says it’s okay to ghost your social media followers, but not a child who thinks you’re her family. Then, MTV writer Jane Coaston joins in to advise on what to do if your mom uses surviving cancer as an excuse to spoil your kids. How to tell a…
“Giving Tree” Edition
Jan 17, 2017 • 46 min
Prudie puts in a plug for queries about good fortune only. Then, she and writer Caille Millner tackle more serious problems: I’m convinced my husband had an affair with his boss, but he denies it. My mom is terrible with money. How can I get her to save…
“Family Matters” Edition
Jan 10, 2017 • 39 min
Prudie and guest Juan-Pablo Brammer explore the fine line of low-key racism. Then, your questions: How can I keep my sister from terrorizing my new boyfriend? Can I tell my husband’s parents not to hook up in my kid’s bed? How do I tell my husband I’m…
“Insomnia” Edition
Jan 3, 2017 • 42 min
I lent a family heirloom to a friend and she’s going to burn it in honor of her deceased child – can I ask for it back? “Nope!” says Prudence. Then your questions: Can I delay my breakup for financial gain? My partner won’t stop waking me up for trivial…
“Rocky II” Edition
Dec 27, 2016 • 49 min
Rocky returns! The aspiring poker player writes back to make the case for quitting his day job (and if this makes no sense, check out the 11/29 “Anger Management” show). We’re rooting for you, man. Then, Mallory and comedian Avery Edison tackle your…
“Timing Is Everything” Edition
Dec 20, 2016 • 46 min
Mallory and guest Andrea Silenzi of Slate podcast “Why Oh Why” take on big issues, starting with the weighty question of how long you should wait to move on when someone you’re dating goes missing at sea. Then to your letters: I was ready to forgive my…
“Death, Sex & Money” Edition
Dec 13, 2016 • 39 min
A soon-to-be bride wants to buck a patriarchal wedding tradition. A wife wants her husband to buck up and tell his father he can’t come over every weekend. A man wants to leave a longterm relationship, but he’ll leave his partner without any bucks.…
Dear Prudence: Live!
Dec 6, 2016 • 69 min
Mallory and guest Samantha Powell come to you live from the Now Hear This festival in LA. And a warning: things get rowdy! An American man wonders if he can divorce his non-English-speaking wife … because he’s bored explaining things to her. Then, the…
“Anger Management” Edition
Nov 29, 2016 • 54 min
Mallory’s dad v. William Shatner. Then your questions: first, how do I relate to a dad who was absent and abusive while I was growing up, and now demands regular, personalized gifts? Then: I had an affair with my pastor, and just met the daughter I gave…
“Missing the Point” Edition
Nov 22, 2016 • 45 min
If you see dirty pictures on someone else’s phone, that’s your problem. And a reminder: Dear Prudence is not a tax attorney, and neither is her guest, Toast co-founder Nicole Cliffe. Your questions today revolve around missing the mark. I’m always the one…
“Either/Or” Edition
Nov 15, 2016 • 45 min
A note on the election and the limits of civility. Then, religion, inheritance, sibling rivalry: Prudie and guest Noah Kulwin discuss binaries. If you’re not close with your nephew, should you give him your old car instead of gifting it to your…
“How Long?” Edition
Nov 8, 2016 • 47 min
Queer women, Carly Rae Jepsen, and what’s up with people confessing crimes on Facebook? Prudence and guests Jaya Saxena and Matt Lubchansky take on your problems of timing, including: do you have to let your fiancé’s ill mother live with you indefinitely?…
“Whaaaattt?!?” Edition
Nov 1, 2016 • 45 min
A listener offers her guide to figuring out if the white guy she’s dating has an Asian fetish. Then, Prudence and writer Brook Shelley get to your letters. First up, a mixed-race letter writer is dismayed to wake up to chain of racist texts — sent by her…
“Good Intentions” Edition
Oct 25, 2016 • 35 min
Nancy Ortberg, AKA Mallory’s mom, joins us for questions today. How do you to talk to a stepdad who tries to boost your confidence by making borderline-creepy remarks about your appearance? What do you say to stop your parents from complaining to you…
“Devil’s Advocate” Edition, Part 2
Oct 18, 2016 • 38 min
Carvell and Mallory jump right back in. A letter-writer complains that her brother is a “man whore” — but first, we need to talk about who’s throwing glass at your family events. Then, should I tell my fiancé that I’m pretty sure I once slept with his…
“Devil’s Advocate” Edition, Part 1
Oct 11, 2016 • 42 min
Just say no to the “Don’t Tread On Me” snake. Mallory and returning listener favorite Carvell Wallace tackle and disagree over thorny questions like: should you intervene when your sister invites your mom to her wedding — but not your stepdad? When your…
“Boundaries” Edition
Oct 4, 2016 • 45 min
This week, your questions discussed in the cozy setting of Prudie’s literal bedroom. That might sound overly-intimate, but it’s not as intimate as going to a sweat lodge with your coworkers! Our guest is writer Lauren O’Neal, and together she and Prudie…
“Creative Solutions” Edition
Sep 27, 2016 • 40 min
Ann M. Martin and the gay Baby-Sitters Club, plus some unsolicited advice to a letter-writer who’d like to ruin his sons’ lives from beyond the grave and can’t find a lawyer to help him do it. SkyMall nostalgia. Then, Prudence and guest Rebeca Sanchez…
“Talk About It Now” Edition
Sep 20, 2016 • 48 min
The great lie that is, “they don’t really mean it.” Mallory and her sister, writer Laura Turner, bring some family wisdom to this week’s show. First: is it alright to ask your family to stop texting you the news of relatives’ deaths? What about when your…
“Petty Revenge” Edition
Sep 13, 2016 • 39 min
End the tyranny of the snooze button. Prudie and writer Mikki Kendall answer your questions, and let’s just get one thing out of the way right now: don’t try to attempted-murder Mikki by turning on an electric fence while she’s touching it; that won’t go…
“Do it In Song” Edition
Sep 6, 2016 • 39 min
Comedians W. Kamau Bell and Hari Kondabolu of the podcast Politically Re-Active join Prudie to dispense advice — sometimes in song! — about how to get a needy ex out of your house, how best to deal with a deadbeat husband, and how to figure out if your…
“Time is Not an Apology” Edition
Aug 30, 2016 • 39 min
Prudence and guest Lisa McIntire on when you should rock the boat, why people feel entitled to be rude to their friends, and how time passing does not equal an apology. First though, you should go see Bad Moms… the audience, that is. More thoughts on HR…
“Little Red Hen” Edition
Aug 23, 2016 • 37 min
A woman dropped family, friends, and job to move across the country for a relationship that didn’t work out — and things got worse from there. Is she doomed to make poor decisions for the rest of her life? A man dies, and his obituary lists a woman who…
“Read the Room” Edition
Aug 16, 2016 • 33 min
Prudence flies solo and argues with — or against — her better angels. She anoints the Worst Commercial of the Year and advises a woman wondering if she has to let a family member with money trouble live in her empty investment apartment. But Prudie loves…
“Self Indulgence vs. Self-Care” Edition
Aug 9, 2016 • 37 min
Does HR really work for employees — or is it just there for the company? Prudence shares a listener perspective. Then, Prudie and friend of the show Jos Lavery counsel a woman who’s essentially written in just to say how great her life is. A listener asks…
“You Can’t Treat People That Way” Edition
Aug 2, 2016 • 34 min
Jasmine Guillory is back in the studio with Prudie to talk about how to handle a partner who doesn’t believe in antidepressants, counsel a woman in an emotionally abusive relationship with a physically disabled man, and, for a bit of relief, adjudicate a…
Unconditional Love Edition
Jul 26, 2016 • 43 min
Today’s questions are about life’s unfairness and the meaning of unconditional love; Dear Prudence and writer Carvell Wallace roll up their sleeves and get tough. A woman writes with a question about what she owes her troubled, and now-adult, adopted…
“Butt Out” Edition
Jul 19, 2016 • 28 min
Mallory and Slate’s Aisha Harris talk about butting in where you don’t belong. Should you call Child Protective Services because you think someone’s kids aren’t learning enough algebra? How do you deal with a colleague making inappropriate remarks about…
“Regret Baby” Edition
Jul 12, 2016 • 35 min
Dear Prudence and Slate’s Christina Cauterucci take on behavior that goes from bad to worse: a “toxic friend” who uses her mental health issues to get away with abusing her friends; a man trying to shame his wife into having a “regret baby” seven years…
The “Transactional Relationships” Edition
Jul 5, 2016 • 25 min
Mallory Ortberg and guest Jos Lavery discuss why we feel so compelled to discuss human relationships as transactions, and discuss how to handle family members who might be committing insurance fraud.
The “Sisters!” Edition
Jun 28, 2016 • 25 min
How do you tactfully let your sister know it’s time for deodorant? Or that you hate her dog? And how do you protect your sister from your overbearing parents? This week, Mallory Ortberg and guest Jasmine Guillory bring their advisory, legal, and…
The “Is This a Real Question?” Edition
Jun 21, 2016 • 31 min
Mallory assesses the emotional fitness of people who spill drinks on themselves and tackles your questions with Alison Green of Ask a Manager. Is the letter about “a series of Spider-Man piss revelations” real or fake? How do you manage a recently dumped…
Coming Soon: Dear Prudence
Jun 13, 2016 • 4 min
Every week, Mallory Ortberg (aka Dear Prudence) tackles problems about love, life, and everything in between.