Monster in My Podcast

Monster in My Podcast

www.monsterinmypodcast.com
A thrice-weekly comedy podcast about the 2nd edition D&D Monstrous Manual.


Hzilquoigmnzhah
Dec 6 • 4 min
I defy you to pronounce that.
Hypnos
Dec 4 • 3 min
Don't sleep wrong.
The King in Yellow
Dec 2 • 6 min
Obviously the best.
The Emerald Lama
Nov 30 • 7 min
Someone write a story or book with this guy in it, please.
Feaster From Afar
Nov 27 • 4 min
Very appropriate for the day before Thanksgiving, when we all become feasters from afar.
Hastur
Nov 25 • 3 min
Witness the squid behind the men.
Hydra
Nov 22 • 4 min
No, not that one.
Hastalÿk
Nov 20 • 3 min
Breathe deep and lick a few doorknobs.
Han
Nov 18 • 6 min
Careful where you shoot when the fog rolls in.
Hagarg Ryonis
Nov 15 • 4 min
Decide if whether or not you have a human form before you come to me.
Groth-Golka
Nov 13 • 3 min
You're gonna have to do better than "scary bird" in this league.
Green God
Nov 11 • 6 min
A transformational salad.
Gol-Goroth
Nov 8 • 1 min
He's just so proud of his balls.
Gog-Hoor
Nov 6 • 3 min
Okay, Frank.
Gnophkehs
Nov 4 • 3 min
Like all villains, it's blond.
Gloon
Nov 1 • 2 min
A Catfish god among catfish gods.
Glaaki
Oct 30 • 3 min
Big spongy DSLs.
Ghroth
Oct 28 • 5 min
When the villain is also the setting.
Ghizguth
Oct 25 • 2 min
Here comes the testicle monster!
Ghatanathoa
Oct 23 • 6 min
Just a little peek can't hurt…
Ghadamon
Oct 21 • 3 min
A full quarter of Pokemon are gods.
Fthaggua
Oct 18 • 3 min
Hot stuff, comin' through!
Lesser Elder Gods
Oct 16 • 2 min
At least the name is honest.
Eihort
Oct 14 • 5 min
He will not share his labyrinth with you.
Dho-Spawn
Oct 11 • 3 min
Stay away from that thicc air.
Sacred Light
Oct 9 • 3 min
Here it comes! At a stately rate!
Daoloth
Oct 7 • 4 min
When a pattern is a portal.
Dagon & Hydra
Oct 4 • 4 min
The indignity of sharing an entry.
Cynothoglys
Oct 3 • 4 min
We don't have any jokes about the mortician god. It's just a cool idea.
Cyaegha
Sep 30 • 2 min
He has is eye on you!
Cxaxukluth
Sep 27 • 1 min
Azathoth's street team, manifest.
Cthylla
Sep 25 • 2 min
Lovecraft babies, they'll do the same to you.
Father-of-all-Sharks
Sep 23 • 4 min
Proof that Cthulhu lives for drama.
Corazin
Sep 20 • 4 min
That's not how electrocardiograms work.
B’Moth
Sep 18 • 4 min
The book is really banking on making clouds scary.
Cthulhu
Sep 16 • 5 min
Hey, it's the mascot!
Living Flame of Deepest Black
Sep 13 • 4 min
None. None more black.
Cthugha
Sep 11 • 3 min
He's the Cthulhu you grandma gets you for Christmas by mistake.
Cloud-Thing
Sep 9 • 2 min
The only Outer God who can be picked up on doppler radar.
Chaugnar Faugn
Sep 6 • 4 min
The laziest of the gods.
Byatis
Sep 4 • 4 min
Who's got two claws, a single tentacle, and something to prove? I can't point at myself because I'm Byatis and I have claws. Life is hell.
Bugg Shash
Sep 2 • 4 min
Prospector week begins today, for some reason.
Bokrug
Aug 30 • 4 min
The doom that came to Sarnath is not to be confused with the DOOM that came from Carmack.
Blackness From the Stars
Aug 28 • 3 min
It just wants to go back home.
Bast
Aug 26 • 5 min
She's the cat's pajamas. And also the cat. And also all cats.
Baoht Z’uqqa-Mogg
Aug 23 • 4 min
Great big scorpion, and practice god.
Xada-Hgla
Aug 21 • 2 min
Armageddon on a half-shell.
Azathoth
Aug 19 • 5 min
The god lucky enough to have his own diegetic theme music.
Atlach-Nacha
Aug 16 • 4 min
Step aside, Llolth.
Arwassa
Aug 14 • 4 min
I could only find one image of this god, and its face looked so much like a vagina that I had to pixelate it.
Ariel
Aug 12 • 3 min
The truth can be harsh and disturbing!
Aphoom-Zhah
Aug 9 • 2 min
Chrono Cross does not have a monopoly on frozen flames.
Ancient Ones
Aug 7 • 3 min
Boyz in Hoodz.
Abhoth
Aug 5 • 4 min
He'll bud you off a buddy.
Zoogs
Jul 19 • 5 min
Saved by one delightful phrase.
Zarr
Jul 17 • 4 min
Who let Battlefield Earth into this book!?!?
Yuggs
Jul 15 • 3 min
Don't step to me with those round mouths, people.
Sons of Yog-Sothoth
Jul 12 • 3 min
My large, gelatinous adult sons.
New Great Race of Yith
Jul 10 • 4 min
An earnest debate about whether bugs are better than cones.
Great Race of Yith
Jul 8 • 6 min
Going on a mind time tourism trip.
Spawn of Yig
Jul 5 • 7 min
Mail your teeth.
Children of Yig
Jul 3 • 3 min
They're just big snakes.
Denizens of Yekub
Jul 1 • 4 min
Worse Yith! Worse Yith! Worse Yith!
Denizens of Yaddith
Jun 28 • 2 min
Look closely at the hooded figure.
Xo Tl’Mi-Go
Jun 26 • 3 min
This one gets gnarly. Just a heads up.
Death-Vines of Xiclotl
Jun 24 • 3 min
Nutting with enough velocity to break orbit.
Beings from Xiclotl
Jun 21 • 3 min
Mostly a story about sewer pipes.
Worms of the Earth
Jun 19 • 4 min
Choose your snakeman form!
The Worm That Walks
Jun 17 • 3 min
Richard Scarry wrote mythos stories.
Wendigo
Jun 14 • 3 min
Just your basic Wendigo. No big deal.
Watchers
Jun 12 • 3 min
You won't have to worry about your bayou when these fellas are around.
Voors
Jun 10 • 3 min
Wave goodbye to the sun.
Voormis
Jun 7 • 3 min
The missing link's missing link.
Unspeakable Possessors
Jun 5 • 3 min
Hastur, take the wheel.
Typhonian Beasts
Jun 3 • 3 min
More of this Egypt shit.
Tunnelers Below
May 31 • 3 min
The tunnelers above are usually busy building skywalks between hotels and convention centers.
Scions of Tsathoggua
May 29 • 3 min
The Adventures of Doctor Frog and Eldritch Monstrosity Toad.
Formless Spawn of Tsathoggua
May 27 • 3 min
It'll be whatever you want it to be, as long as it's a black blob.
Trolls (Malleus Montrorum)
May 24 • 4 min
An endless parade of yeti.
Triffids
May 23 • 3 min
Is it from pulp sci-fi? Then throw it in!
Tree Men of M’bwa
May 20 • 5 min
Pour one out for Harold.
Travelers
May 16 • 3 min
¡Allí está! ¡Mátalo!
Tomb-Herd
May 15 • 2 min
Warn your next of kin.
Tindalosian Hybrids
May 13 • 4 min
You'd look deadlier if you smiled more.
Lords of Tindalos
May 10 • 3 min
Triangle Man hates Particle Man.
Hounds of Tindalos
May 8 • 5 min
No, you misheard me. Not an angel dog, and ANGLE dog.
Things
May 6 • 3 min
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Terrors From Beyond
May 3 • 4 min
They're flying through you right now.
Tcho-Tchos
May 1 • 4 min
These little fellas have been the worst in every era. Just the pits.
Swine Folk
Apr 29 • 2 min
I can't believe how dumb this episode is.
Star Vampires
Apr 26 • 4 min
All you need is blood.
Lurker in the Star Pool
Apr 24 • 2 min
When this fool's in the pool, it's always Unspeakably Ancient Swim.
Children of the Sphinx
Apr 22 • 4 min
I find it frustrating that they're called "centaurs" when the "taur" stands for "bull".
Spectral Hunters
Apr 19 • 2 min
When all you've got is rubbery.
Spawn of the Winds0
Apr 18 • 3 min
When a warm front and a cold front love each other very much…
Space Eaters
Apr 15 • 2 min
Aurora borealis, at this time of year, in this part of the country, here to eat you.
Dark Young of Shub-Niggurath
Apr 12 • 4 min
Watch out for that tree!
Proto-Shoggoths
Apr 10 • 3 min
I feel personally attacked by the notion of an amorphous flesh monster.
Shoggoths
Apr 8 • 4 min
Amoeba, a-you-ba.
Shantaks
Apr 5 • 4 min
Don't be a quitter.
Shaggai
Apr 3 • 2 min
Is something bugging you?
Insects from Shaggai
Apr 1 • 5 min
When you can't afford the Mi-Go, settle for a near-go.
Denizens of S’glhou
Mar 29 • 4 min
A being a pure sound, like David Byrne.
Serpent People
Mar 27 • 6 min
An empire that spanned the globe but never mattered.
Seekers
Mar 25 • 2 min
They walk among us.
Sand-Dwellers
Mar 22 • 2 min
Their wooden backscratchers keep getting worn down to nubs.
Reptile People
Mar 20 • 3 min
Because every hybrid gets an entry.
Rat-Things
Mar 18 • 2 min
Koalas aren't just scary because of chlamydia anymore!
Rat People
Mar 15 • 3 min
And who could forget dear Rat Boy?
Petesouchi
Mar 13 • 3 min
Quite literally Bayou Billy.
Pallid Dancers
Mar 11 • 3 min
Pallid dancers, dancing for tanning money.
Servitors of the Outer Gods
Mar 8 • 3 min
And lo the fell heralds ushered in the Old Gods with their mystic song: "Y'All Ready for This?"
Minions of Othuum
Mar 6 • 1 min
It's a big ball of grabbies in the sky.
Spawn of Nyogtha
Mar 4 • 4 min
I mean, we ALL turn into shapeless abominations after a few decades of living, right?
Ny’ghan-Grii
Mar 1 • 2 min
This thing can play a lot of second fiddles with all of those arms.
Nioth-Korghai
Feb 28 • 4 min
They could have just called them space vampires and it would have been fine.
Nightgaunts
Feb 25 • 4 min
Now bringing you weaponized tickles every hour on the hour.
Nagaae
Feb 22 • 5 min
The thrilling conclusion of the Space Toad suite!
Mr. Shiny
Feb 20 • 6 min
Meet the new boss, he's actually a Shoggoth.
Moon-Beasts
Feb 18 • 3 min
Part one of our Space Toad suite.
Miri Nigri
Feb 15 • 2 min
Chaugnar Faugn's street team.
Mind Parasites
Feb 13 • 3 min
The moon pushes and pulls on our bodies in mysterious ways.
Mi-Go
Feb 11 • 4 min
Someday something's coming, from way out beyond the stars. It'll kill us while we stand there, and they'll store our brains in mason jars.
Martians
Feb 9 • 3 min
Our second favorite.
Martense Kin
Feb 6 • 2 min
Get outside a bit.
Lumens
Feb 4 • 2 min
Which one of you is pranking us by putting a willowisp in every monster manual!?!?
Lloigor
Feb 1 • 4 min
Invisible catastrophe dragons.
Inhabitants of L’gy’hx
Jan 30 • 3 min
On Uranus, the Rubiks Cube solves YOU.
Leng Spiders
Jan 28 • 2 min
Giant Spiders: Now available in purple!
Men of Leng
Jan 25 • 2 min
The one time where you don't want the plum position.
People of K’n-yan
Jan 23 • 3 min
Amazing, all-powerful creatures that become laughing stocks just because of their neighborhood.
Beings of Ib
Jan 21 • 2 min
The Ghost Beings of Ib get salty if you leave them out.
Hyperboreans
Jan 18 • 2 min
It's just dudes!
Hunting Horrors of Nyarlathotep
Jan 16 • 3 min
This terror that hunts.
Horses of the Invisible
Jan 14 • 3 min
At the very least these horses belong to someone. The invisible.
Hell Plant
Jan 11 • 4 min
Featuring one of the best horror tropes.
Spawn of Hastur
Jan 10 • 3 min
Cuddlefish.
Gyaa-Yothn
Jan 7 • 2 min
Hyaa! Ride 'em!
Gug
Jan 4 • 3 min
A manifestation of Lovecraft's fear of vaginas.
Children of the Green God
Jan 2 • 3 min
Extremely horny bunnymen are the only monster in this manual worthy of contempt.
Duckfeed Patreon 2019: Big New Things
Jan 1 • 39 min
Hello, listeners and patrons alike. We come to you with some exciting news: We are changing the Patreon around! It feels like we just did this, but the last major change was back toward the beginning of 2017. We’re trying to constantly observe what’s…
Spawn of the Green Abyss
Dec 31, 2018 • 3 min
If I could teach the Shoggoths to sing in perfect harmony…
Gof’nn Hupadagh
Dec 28, 2018 • 3 min
Goat Men love Scarlet Circles
Goatswood Gnomes
Dec 26, 2018 • 2 min
You got a Winklebottom!?
Gnoph-Keh
Dec 24, 2018 • 3 min
Your local ski slope’s snow machine is actually an eldritch monstrosity.
Gn’icht’ Tyaacht
Dec 21, 2018 • 3 min
Big spooky tree men.
Servant of Glaaki
Dec 19, 2018 • 2 min
A zombie by any other name still wilts in the sun.
Ghoul (Malleus Monstrorum)
Dec 17, 2018 • 4 min
Mom won't shave me, Jesus can't save me: Dog Faced Boy.
Ghast
Dec 14, 2018 • 1 min
Leaping lizards! Except for the last part, sorta.
Vile Fungus
Dec 12, 2018 • 3 min
Lamisil will not help you here.
Fosterling of the Old Ones
Dec 10, 2018 • 3 min
Faces shouldn't bubble up like that.
Flying Polyp
Dec 7, 2018 • 4 min
Hey there Blimpy Boy, flying through the sky so fancy free…
Fishers from Outside
Dec 5, 2018 • 3 min
Dorks gonna grab ya.
Fire Vampire
Dec 3, 2018 • 3 min
A possible explanation for spontaneous combustion.
Elder Thing
Nov 30, 2018 • 5 min
Roll out the barrels.
Broodlings of Eihort
Nov 28, 2018 • 3 min
The man was an explosion of bugs.
Dweller in the Depths
Nov 26, 2018 • 3 min
It's a messed up tile-puzzle of a creature. Pitiable.
Dust-Men
Nov 23, 2018 • 3 min
Inhale a nightmare, why don't ya!
Dimensional Shambler
Nov 21, 2018 • 4 min
The best damn burglars this side of the veil. Or that side. They oscillate.
Dholes
Nov 19, 2018 • 4 min
My son is also named Bhole.
Desh
Nov 16, 2018 • 3 min
I'm not proud of the way this one ends.
Deep One Hybrids
Nov 15, 2018 • 4 min
Mom's in the attic, mom's in the sea.
Deep Ones
Nov 12, 2018 • 7 min
They look a little green in the gills. Except that means they're healthy.
Dark Sargassum
Nov 9, 2018 • 7 min
And it spreads and it spreads and it spreads.
Dark Ones
Nov 7, 2018 • 4 min
BODYJACKING.
Thralls of Cthulhu
Nov 5, 2018 • 4 min
Hand yourself over, the perks are amazing.
Star-Spawn of Cthulhu
Nov 2, 2018 • 3 min
Humming, all the way to Reno. You're gonna be a star… spawn.
Guardians of Crystalizers of Dreams
Oct 31, 2018 • 5 min
The episode of the podcast of the Malleus Monstorum of the entry of the Guardians of the Crystalizers of Dreams.
Crawling Ones
Oct 29, 2018 • 4 min
These worms just want to see Robocop.
Colours Out of Space
Oct 26, 2018 • 3 min
And the goat says: You want it when!?
Cold Ones
Oct 24, 2018 • 4 min
Of course we did the needful.
Chtonians
Oct 22, 2018 • 3 min
Walk without rhythm, please.
Children of the Wind
Oct 19, 2018 • 1 min
Lil' Stand.
Brothers of Chaugnar Faugn
Oct 17, 2018 • 4 min
You must be this elephanty to get into the elephant club.
Chakota
Oct 15, 2018 • 5 min
Buy your ticket early, you don't want to end up at the bottom of the face pillar.
Byakhee
Oct 12, 2018 • 3 min
You'd think Hastur would be able to ride in style, but nope.
Daughters of Atlach-Nacha
Oct 10, 2018 • 4 min
Girl, you'll be a spider soon.
Animiculi
Oct 8, 2018 • 7 min
Seeds of a sealed dead god. No comedy, it’s just a good monster.
Alskali
Oct 5, 2018 • 4 min
A cyclops by any other name would still be pretty bad at tennis.
Ahais
Oct 4, 2018 • 7 min
Our favorite martians, by default.
Adumbrali
Oct 1, 2018 • 5 min
It can beat you with one dimension tied behind its back.
Episode 361: Shadowrun Wrapup
Sep 8, 2018 • 9 min
See you in a few weeks for the beginning of our season on the Malleus Monstorum!
Episode 360: Wyvern (Shadowrun)
Sep 6, 2018 • 5 min
The Big D makes his grand debut.
Episode 359: Wodewose
Sep 3, 2018 • 4 min
A double snack attack stack!
Episode 358: White Buffalo
Sep 1, 2018 • 3 min
More like white elephant, am I right?
Episode 357: Unicorn Fish
Aug 29, 2018 • 2 min
From the innocent times before animals became memes.
Episode 356: Troglodyte (Shadowrun)
Aug 27, 2018 • 5 min
He chose the least efficient way to scratch himself.
Episode 355: Toxic Water Spirit
Aug 24, 2018 • 4 min
Trash that's pissed off enough to chase you.
Episode 354: Toxic Earth Spirit
Aug 22, 2018 • 5 min
It's a monster, and a fun activity!
Episode 353: Torpedo Shark
Aug 20, 2018 • 6 min
Picture is unrelated, but not really.
Episode 352: Talis Cat
Aug 17, 2018 • 5 min
MVP of the book right here.
Episode 351: Tachypus
Aug 15, 2018 • 2 min
Don't corner an antelope and expect not to get eaten.
Episode 350: Stormcrow
Aug 13, 2018 • 3 min
Just me and a few of my friends raisin' hell.
Episode 349: Stonebinder
Aug 10, 2018 • 6 min
Airborn basilisks? Sign me up.
Episode 348: Snow Snake
Aug 8, 2018 • 3 min
Do not shave the snake.
Episode 347: Snow Moose
Aug 6, 2018 • 3 min
It's just a moose.
Episode 346: Siren (Shadowrun)
Aug 3, 2018 • 4 min
Dash yourself upon the rocks for this rockstar pterodactyl.
Episode 345: Shadowhound
Aug 1, 2018 • 4 min
Where did all the good boys go? We can't see them.
Episode 344: Serpent, Saltwater
Jul 30, 2018 • 4 min
There is nothing more to be said about serpents.
Episode 343: Serpent, Freshwater
Jul 27, 2018 • 4 min
Slap a kilt on this thing and you've got yourself a cryptid going.
Episode 342: Sea Drake
Jul 25, 2018 • 4 min
The argument that nobody cares about continues: is it a dragon?
Episode 341: Salamander
Jul 23, 2018 • 5 min
Go home, little sprite, and don't burn mine down.
Episode 340: Saber-tooth Cat
Jul 20, 2018 • 4 min
It's not the X-man.
Episode 339: Rock Worm
Jul 18, 2018 • 6 min
Friendly little dungeon-makers.
Episode 338: Rock Lizard
Jul 16, 2018 • 5 min
I hope you like Fred Schneider impressions!
Episode 337: Pricuricu
Jul 13, 2018 • 3 min
A bird whose superpower is always being surprised.
Episode 336: Piasma
Jul 11, 2018 • 3 min
Make way for big, stinking, psychic bears.
Episode 335: Novopossum
Jul 9, 2018 • 3 min
It's the dawning of the age of the possum.
Episode 334: Nomad
Jul 6, 2018 • 7 min
Care to let an astral buddy hitch a ride?
Episode 333: New Leatherback
Jul 4, 2018 • 4 min
See the turtle of enormous girth, discuss his back to make some mirth.
Episode 332: New Boar
Jul 2, 2018 • 4 min
Same as the old boar.
Episode 331: Munchkin
Jun 29, 2018 • 3 min
If your pubes don't form a mane, you're missing out.
Episode 330: Mist Lynx
Jun 27, 2018 • 4 min
Their tufted ears will tickle the insides of your lungs.
Episode 329: Mimic Snake
Jun 25, 2018 • 5 min
We assure you that we are human.
Episode 328: Mermaid (Shadowrun)
Jun 22, 2018 • 4 min
It's the mermaid of our dreams.
Episode 327: Megalodon
Jun 20, 2018 • 4 min
I'm a shark, I'm a shark…
Episode 326: Martichoras
Jun 18, 2018 • 6 min
A manticore by any other name is basically this thing, too.
Episode 325: Man-of-the-Woods
Jun 15, 2018 • 5 min
If you believe they put a man in the woods (man in the woods).
Episode 324: Loup-Garou
Jun 13, 2018 • 20 min
By the time you've seen a hairy person in an alley, it's already too late.
Episode 323: Leviathan
Jun 11, 2018 • 5 min
Nuke the whales for their substances.
Episode 322: Lesser Thunderbird
Jun 8, 2018 • 5 min
Less godly, more explodey.
Episode 321: Lesser Roc
Jun 6, 2018 • 2 min
It's a big bird.
Episode 320: Lambton Lizard
Jun 4, 2018 • 4 min
It sounds like the name of dance, but it's anything but… a dance.
Episode 319: Juggernaut
Jun 1, 2018 • 4 min
A tarrasque has been sighted outside of boise. I repeat…
Episode 318: Incubus
May 30, 2018 • 6 min
What do you most want in the world?
Episode 317: Ice Drake
May 28, 2018 • 2 min
Take a chill pill.
Episode 316: Hoop Snake
May 25, 2018 • 4 min
Raze all human edifice to the ground so these good fellas have room to play.
Episode 315: Hellbender
May 23, 2018 • 5 min
For if you want to stand still forever.
Episode 314: Hell Hound (Shadowrun)
May 21, 2018 • 5 min
Get me a heck puppy, please.
Episode 313: Gyre
May 18, 2018 • 5 min
Vultures are fascinating enough, look them up too.
Episode 312: Greater Wolverine
May 16, 2018 • 5 min
If I can't have this food, no one can.
Episode 311: Greater Unicorn
May 14, 2018 • 3 min
I think I know where Little Sebastians go after they die.
Episode 310: Greater Armadillo
May 11, 2018 • 5 min
The most magnificent dipshits there ever were.
Episode 309: Gloaming Owl
May 9, 2018 • 6 min
Welcome to the world of the shadow owls, you won't sense a difference.
Episode 308: Gila Demon
May 7, 2018 • 3 min
Trash mouth is comin' for ya.
Episode 307: Gargoyle (Shadowrun)
May 5, 2018 • 5 min
We cannot determine the number of arms or the sex or the provenance.
Episode 306: Gabriel Hound
May 2, 2018 • 6 min
This dog just wants to be a real boy.
Episode 305: Firedrake
Apr 30, 2018 • 6 min
Controversial provenance provokes the most pedantic of posting.
Episode 304: Firebird
Apr 27, 2018 • 5 min
A bee has been pictured for scale.
Episode 303: Fideal
Apr 25, 2018 • 3 min
Land will offer you no succor from its eternal pursuit.
Episode 302: Embracer
Apr 23, 2018 • 4 min
Big Spicy Red has arrived at the club. I repeat…
Episode 301: Dzoo-Noo-Qua
Apr 20, 2018 • 7 min
This poor troll suffered a plaque attack, while Debbie tries very hard to convince you heartless monsters that this creature composes songs.
Episode 300: Dour
Apr 18, 2018 • 3 min
Not pictured: feet covered with penises.
Episode 299: Devilfish
Apr 16, 2018 • 2 min
A cartilage miracle who evolved to dynamite fish.
Episode 298: Devil Rat
Apr 13, 2018 • 4 min
Scrotums fill follow us to the stars and beyond.
Episode 297: Devil Jack Diamond
Apr 11, 2018 • 5 min
Serves 35.
Episode 296: Deathrattle
Apr 9, 2018 • 6 min
The designers forgot to design, and a plain ol' snake snuck in.
Episode 295: Corpselight
Apr 6, 2018 • 7 min
The swamp lamp is only the tip of the otherworldly iceberg.
Episode 294: Chimera
Apr 4, 2018 • 6 min
Contents may not be as cool as an actual chimera.
Episode 293: Century Ferret
Apr 2, 2018 • 4 min
Didn't I tell you to knock!?!?
Episode 292: Boobrie
Mar 30, 2018 • 5 min
A big, angry, disease-riddled bird is comin' atcha.
Episode 291: Bombardier
Mar 28, 2018 • 5 min
The shit-flinging obsession continues.
Episode 290: Bogie
Mar 26, 2018 • 5 min
AKA Hounds of the Baskervilles.
Episode 289: Blood Kite
Mar 23, 2018 • 2 min
Sometimes a hawk is just enough, you know?
Episode 288: Black Annis
Mar 21, 2018 • 6 min
An ape so foul that it gives you depression.
Episode 287: Birdman
Mar 19, 2018 • 4 min
This episode was recorded entirely in one take.
Episode 286: Behemoth
Mar 16, 2018 • 3 min
Here comes a very big boy.
Episode 285: Bandit
Mar 14, 2018 • 5 min
Your car is the only safe place. Forget about it.
Episode 284: Bandersnatch
Mar 12, 2018 • 5 min
It's time to learn about the virus that makes you a vampire, and turns sasquatches invisible.
Episode 283: Agropelter
Mar 9, 2018 • 5 min
Who's ready for a game of bombardment?
Episode 282: Aardwolf
Mar 7, 2018 • 5 min
Our first entry in the book of Paranormal Animals of North America brings us the Aardwolf, a hard-to-see scragglyboy.
Episode 281: Shadowrun Primer
Mar 5, 2018 • 12 min
Welcome to the beginning of our new season! This first episode is a short primer on the Shadowrun universe, which will be useful for people who are more familiar with D&D.
Episode 280: Zombie
Feb 12, 2018 • 10 min
The season ends on a classic, and a subversion of our "most undead are trash" rule. The show is taking a brief break, and will return starting March 5 with our season about the Shadowrun supplemental manual "Paranormal Animals of North America".
Episode 279: Zaratan
Feb 9, 2018 • 5 min
Gary wants to eat Kole's new giant friend.
Episode 278: Yugoloth, Guardian
Feb 7, 2018 • 4 min
An interdimensional hitman who works on a sliding scale of skill and price.
Episode 277: Yuan-ti, Histachii
Feb 5, 2018 • 5 min
We get in another good adventure hook before the end of the season. Beware of cheap drinks!
Episode 276: Yuan-ti
Feb 2, 2018 • 4 min
Snakes alive, there are snakes alive in here.
Episode 275: Yeti
Jan 31, 2018 • 5 min
The mighty magic sasquatch, except not.
Episode 274: Xorn
Jan 29, 2018 • 4 min
Here come the elder things!
Episode 273: Wyvern
Jan 26, 2018 • 5 min
They're cheaper than actual dragons because you get two fewer drumsticks.
Episode 272: Wraith
Jan 24, 2018 • 3 min
This is it! The final cookie-cutter undead.
Episode 271: Worm
Jan 22, 2018 • 9 min
Everybody's heard about the worm.
Episode 270: Wolfwere
Jan 19, 2018 • 4 min
We'd like to report a monster that escaped from the lycanthropy section. Repeat, we'd like to report…
Episode 269: Wolf
Jan 17, 2018 • 6 min
I can't believe a wolf wrote this entry by typing with his paws.
Episode 268: Will o’ Wisp
Jan 15, 2018 • 5 min
A controversial "the".
Episode 267: Wight
Jan 12, 2018 • 6 min
We think this is the last of the bland undead.
Episode 266: Whale
Jan 10, 2018 • 6 min
Look out Dolphins, you've got a competitor for "best entry in the Monstrous Manual."
Episode 265: Wemic
Jan 8, 2018 • 7 min
What if a centaur was afraid of water?
Episode 264: Vampire
Jan 5, 2018 • 8 min
The Monstrous Manual plays it right up the middle with these classic masters of the night, but it's just a testament to how cool even the most basic vampire already is.
Episode 263: Urchin
Jan 3, 2018 • 5 min
What if a Koosh ball got pissed?
Episode 262: Unicorn
Jan 1, 2018 • 4 min
Not as unique as you'd think.
Episode 261: The Troll Hole (Part 3)
Dec 29, 2017 • 8 min
Sadly, we must bid Troll Week adieu.
Episode 260: The Troll Hole (Part 2)
Dec 27, 2017 • 7 min
Troll week continues with Desert Trolls, Giant Trolls, and more.
Episode 259: The Troll Hole (Part 1)
Dec 25, 2017 • 7 min
The world of trolls is rich and diverse, and a single episode wouldn't cut it.
Episode 258: Umber Hulk
Dec 22, 2017 • 6 min
Another certified D&D classic whose primary attack is Kool-Aid Man-ing.
Episode 257: Troglodyte
Dec 20, 2017 • 7 min
Lots of little lizard people, leaping down the lane.
Episode 256: Triton
Dec 18, 2017 • 9 min
The "Tighten Up" jokes continue, because that is a very good song.
Episode 255: Treant
Dec 15, 2017 • 2 min
What have we done?
Episode 254: Toad
Dec 13, 2017 • 4 min
When a problem comes along, you must ribbit.
Episode 253: Titan
Dec 11, 2017 • 4 min
The monster manual entry that's a love letter to the monster in question.
Episode 252: Thri-Kreen
Dec 8, 2017 • 5 min
Bug men, bugging out.
Episode 251: Thought Eater
Dec 6, 2017 • 3 min
There could be a platypus intersecting with you right now and you wouldn't even know it. Unless you were Psionic.
Episode 250: Tasloi
Dec 4, 2017 • 4 min
You know, Little Green Ghouls.
Episode 249: Tarrasque
Dec 1, 2017 • 5 min
The one and only legend.
Episode 248: Tanar’ri
Nov 29, 2017 • 7 min
Chaos incarnate, and also kind of boring.
Episode 247: Tako
Nov 27, 2017 • 6 min
Mess with the crabbo, you get the stabbo. Mess with the tentacle, he'll cut your left ventricle.
Episode 246: Tabaxi
Nov 24, 2017 • 6 min
These cat people are different because
Episode 245: Swanmay
Nov 22, 2017 • 7 min
Who is this, Dee from It's Always Sunny? Get it, because bird lady.
Episode 244: Su-Monster
Nov 20, 2017 • 3 min
Caught red-handed.
Episode 243: Stirge
Nov 17, 2017 • 5 min
It's a bird. It's a bat. It's a skeeter!
Episode 242: Squid, Giant
Nov 15, 2017 • 3 min
A group of intelligent squids is called an ink tank.
Episode 241: Sprite
Nov 13, 2017 • 7 min
Oh, how the children danced.
Episode 240: Spider
Nov 10, 2017 • 6 min
Eight legs, one life, lots of attitude.
Episode 239: Sphinx
Nov 8, 2017 • 9 min
Stupid, sexist trash.
Episode 238: Spectre
Nov 6, 2017 • 6 min
Ok, we're getting tired of the "undead with a grudge" genre.
Episode 237: Snake, Winged
Nov 3, 2017 • 5 min
Let's talk about angry belts that don't like the ground.
Episode 236: Snake
Nov 1, 2017 • 5 min
Let's talk about angry belts.
Episode 235: Slug, Giant
Oct 30, 2017 • 6 min
Get real angry, because this thing's weak to salt.
Episode 234: Skeleton, Warrior
Oct 27, 2017 • 6 min
It's the Terminator but not made of metal.
Episode 233: Skeleton, Giant
Oct 25, 2017 • 6 min
Deceptively named. It's not the skeleton of a giant, but a skeleton that was MADE giant.
Episode 232: Skeleton
Oct 23, 2017 • 6 min
Skeleton week begins with your standard skele-friend.
Episode 231: Slaad
Oct 20, 2017 • 5 min
Slaad to the bone. Sl-sl-sl-sl-sl-sl-slaad.
Episode 230: Sirine
Oct 18, 2017 • 5 min
We heard a Sirine go.
Episode 229: Shedu
Oct 16, 2017 • 4 min
The Shedu is here to respectfully party.
Episode 228: Shadow
Oct 13, 2017 • 5 min
Listen in for confusion about what shadows actually are. Not the monsters, just… the optical phenomenon.
Episode 227: Selkie
Oct 11, 2017 • 5 min
All the grace, beauty, and majesty of sea doofuses.
Episode 226: Sea Lion
Oct 9, 2017 • 6 min
Not the kind you're picturing.
Episode 225: Scorpion
Oct 6, 2017 • 8 min
God's perfect assassin.
Episode 224: Satyr
Oct 4, 2017 • 8 min
TAF: Tumnus As Fuck.
Episode 223: Sahuagin
Oct 2, 2017 • 6 min
Nice try, attempting to get more orcs past us.
Episode 222: Rust Monster
Sep 29, 2017 • 4 min
A classic and a cutie.
Episode 221: Roper
Sep 27, 2017 • 5 min
Angry slimer reaches out for some human contact.
Episode 220: Roc
Sep 25, 2017 • 5 min
The big bird swooped up an elephant snack.
Episode 219: Revenant
Sep 22, 2017 • 5 min
When unfinished business becomes personal.
Episode 218: Remorhaz
Sep 20, 2017 • 9 min
Raise your hand if Final Fantasy made you think these were water monsters.
Episode 217: Rat
Sep 18, 2017 • 4 min
A basement for novices.
Episode 216: Rakshasa
Sep 15, 2017 • 3 min
Cat people run, run like the wind. Cat people screw, screw like the wind.
Episode 215: Quaggoth
Sep 13, 2017 • 3 min
Underdark yetis with mysterious pasts.
Episode 214: Pudding
Sep 11, 2017 • 4 min
Hey buddy, how'd you get out of Slime Week?
Episode 213: Greenhouse of Terror (Part 3)
Sep 8, 2017 • 5 min
Plant week concludes with a classic: the Shambling Mound.
Episode 212: Greenhouse of Terror (Part 2)
Sep 6, 2017 • 7 min
Plant week continues with some smart, smart plants.
Episode 211: Greenhouse of Terror (Part 1)
Sep 4, 2017 • 8 min
Plant week begins with some dangerous, dangerous plants.
Episode 210: Poltergeist
Sep 1, 2017 • 4 min
It's time for Jerks in (Ethereal) Space!
Episode 209: Piercer
Aug 30, 2017 • 4 min
You only get one shot.
Episode 208: Phoenix
Aug 28, 2017 • 9 min
Arizona Travel Guide 2017.
Episode 207: Phantom
Aug 25, 2017 • 4 min
Someone left a trap in the monster pile.
Episode 206: Peryton
Aug 23, 2017 • 5 min
We spend 90% of the episode trying to figure out how to pronounce "Borges".
Episode 205: Pegasus
Aug 21, 2017 • 8 min
Spread your wings and learn to fly.
Episode 204: Owlbear
Aug 18, 2017 • 5 min
It's featherier than the av-er-age bear!
Episode 203: Otyugh
Aug 16, 2017 • 5 min
Come and pitch a tentacle.
Episode 202: Orc
Aug 14, 2017 • 4 min
Welcome to the Monstrous Manual's original sin.
Episode 201: The Secret of the Ooze (Part 3)
Aug 11, 2017 • 7 min
All good things must come to an end, and seep out into a culvert or sluice.
Episode 200: The Secret of the Ooze (Part 2)
Aug 9, 2017 • 7 min
Ooze week continues, as slime time resumes.
Episode 199: The Secret of the Ooze (Part 1)
Aug 7, 2017 • 9 min
Don't let these gooey boys slip through your fingers!
Episode 198: Ogre, Half
Aug 4, 2017 • 4 min
Kinda big, a little hair, not as dumb.
Episode 197: Ogre
Aug 2, 2017 • 5 min
Big, hairy, dumb.
Episode 196: Octopus, Giant
Jul 31, 2017 • 7 min
We go to bat for an oft-maligned slimy genius of the sea.
Episode 195: Nymph
Jul 28, 2017 • 5 min
Break beauty down to its component parts, for profit.
Episode 194: Nightmare
Jul 26, 2017 • 5 min
Emerge from the pile, young steed.
Episode 193: Neogi
Jul 24, 2017 • 7 min
Don't stand still long enough for them to make you a baby bag.
Episode 192: Naga, Dark
Jul 21, 2017 • 9 min
Snake men with agency and spells.
Episode 191: Naga
Jul 19, 2017 • 4 min
One night I had the weirdest dream where I walked into a cave, and I saw a snake with a human head wearing a vest, rolling a donut.
Episode 190: Myconid (Fungus Man)
Jul 17, 2017 • 6 min
Big tasty doofuses on the march.
Episode 189: Mummy, Greater
Jul 14, 2017 • 8 min
A lich by any other name still smells as sweet.
Episode 188: Mummy
Jul 12, 2017 • 8 min
Revenge of the dry cloth zombies.
Episode 187: Mudman
Jul 10, 2017 • 5 min
Saddle up for some trouble in the puddle.
Episode 186: Muckdweller
Jul 7, 2017 • 5 min
Here's our little muddy friend, walking through the forest. Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly, what a day
Episode 185: Morkoth
Jul 5, 2017 • 3 min
Gary named this file "Wet Orcs" when he edited it, and that just about sums it up.
Episode 184: Mongrelman
Jul 3, 2017 • 4 min
It's as uncomfortable to type as it is to say.
Episode 183: Beholderfest 2017 (Part 6)
Jun 30, 2017 • 12 min
This year's Beholderfest ends with a discussion of Beholder toys and homes.
Episode 182: Beholderfest 2017 (Part 5)
Jun 28, 2017 • 12 min
Milord Wizard answers all of our most pressing questions about Beholders.
Episode 181: Beholderfest 2017 (Part 4)
Jun 26, 2017 • 9 min
What makes a Beholder tick? What do they do for fun? Let's find out.
Episode 180: Beholderfest 2017 (Part 3)
Jun 23, 2017 • 11 min
What can a Beholder do? Let's find out in the Powers section of "I, Tyrant".
Episode 179: Beholderfest 2017 (Part 2)
Jun 21, 2017 • 5 min
Our look at "I, Tyrant" continues as we gaze upon Beholder history and myth.
Episode 178: Beholderfest 2017 (Part 1)
Jun 19, 2017 • 24 min
The tradition continues! Listen for our first dive into the Monstrous Arcana book "I, Tyrant", covering some Beholder Basics.
Episode 177: Mold Man (Vegepygmy)
Jun 16, 2017 • 3 min
Vegepygmy isn't the preferred nomenclature.
Episode 176: Mold
Jun 14, 2017 • 7 min
It's the things from real life that are scariest.
Episode 175: Mist, Vampiric
Jun 12, 2017 • 5 min
See also: Crimson Death Mist.
Episode 174: Mist, Crimson Death
Jun 9, 2017 • 5 min
See also: Vampiric Mist.
Episode 173: Minotaur
Jun 7, 2017 • 5 min
Probably the strongest single-issue voter in the book, if we had to guess.
Episode 172: Mind Flayer (Illithid)
Jun 5, 2017 • 7 min
No running around the brain pool!
Episode 171: Mimic
Jun 2, 2017 • 8 min
This is the entry that made us want to do this show.
Episode 170: Merman
May 31, 2017 • 5 min
When will someone think of the merMEN!?!?
Episode 169: Maedar Medusa
May 29, 2017 • 7 min
When I'm old and crazy, shove me in a pommel.
Episode 168: Medusa
May 26, 2017 • 6 min
Somehow these are way cooler than they have any right to be?
Episode 167: Manticore
May 24, 2017 • 4 min
(In a full grown man's voice) Daddy, daddy, bring me a boy.
Episode 166: Manscorpion
May 22, 2017 • 5 min
This entry hits the Tark mark.
Episode 165: Mammal, Small
May 19, 2017 • 7 min
This one goes out to the little guys.
Episode 164: Mammal, Herd
May 17, 2017 • 3 min
Let's ruminate about ruminants.
Episode 163: Mammal
May 15, 2017 • 5 min
I'm led to believe that an outfit called the "Blood Hound Gang" has conceived of a theorem for determining the behavior of two mammalian entities.
Episode 162: Lycanthrope, Werewolf
May 12, 2017 • 4 min
We finish out lycanthrope fortnight with the big kahuna himself.
Episode 161: Lycanthrope, Wereraven and Weretiger
May 10, 2017 • 8 min
Kole almost falls into a trap of being super predictable. Then he falls into it.
Episode 160: Lycanthrope, Werefox and Wererat
May 8, 2017 • 7 min
Whoever wrote this has some strange ideas about women and race.
Episode 159: Lycanthrope, Werebear and Wereboar
May 5, 2017 • 7 min
Two woodland buddies, just partying in the forest.
Episode 158: Lycanthrope, Seawolf and Werebat
May 3, 2017 • 8 min
It's always fun when the author of the Monstrous Manual is clearly writing about someone he knows.
Episode 157: Lycanthrope, General
May 1, 2017 • 8 min
Lycanthrope fortnight begins with a whimper, appropriately enough (because of dogs, you see).
Episode 156: Lurker
Apr 28, 2017 • 6 min
Don't look down. Or up!
Episode 155: Locathah
Apr 26, 2017 • 4 min
Please write in and tell us if you have ever, ever, run an underwater campaign. We don't think it's ever happened.
Episode 154: Lizard / Lizard Man
Apr 24, 2017 • 10 min
The parade of uninspired demihumans continues!
Episode 153: Living Wall
Apr 21, 2017 • 6 min
Join us. Join us. Join us.
Episode 152: Demilich
Apr 19, 2017 • 5 min
The creature so cool that we rescued it from the indignity of being a footnote.
Episode 151: Lich
Apr 17, 2017 • 7 min
The best week of the show (outside of Beholderfest) begins with getting Lich, and dying trying.
Episode 150: Leucrotta
Apr 14, 2017 • 5 min
Add human teeth to any animal to make it instantly 100x more vile.
Episode 149: Leprechaun
Apr 12, 2017 • 6 min
Imagine the hills lighting up as the eyes of thousands of tiny wish men open their eyes and train them on you.
Episode 148: Leech
Apr 10, 2017 • 7 min
The ruined Resident Evil 0, and now they're coming for your throat meat.
Episode 147: Lammasu
Apr 7, 2017 • 5 min
The angriest lion dad.
Episode 146: Lamia
Apr 5, 2017 • 5 min
This visiting noble sure loves eating viscera.
Episode 145: Kuo-Toa
Apr 3, 2017 • 5 min
Dime store Deep Ones.
Episode 144: Kobold
Mar 31, 2017 • 6 min
A classic that goes down smooth, candle and all.
Episode 143: Kirre
Mar 29, 2017 • 4 min
What has fur and eight legs? A tarantula, you dolt.
Episode 142: Ki-rin
Mar 27, 2017 • 6 min
A smug merry-go-round cast off dispenses horchata into a kiddie pool.
Episode 141: Kenku
Mar 24, 2017 • 6 min
Mischief birds tear up your tires and siding.
Episode 140: Jackalwere
Mar 22, 2017 • 3 min
A misplaced lycanthrope presages a rough month of episodes coming up.
Episode 139: Ixixachitl
Mar 20, 2017 • 5 min
I'll have you know this is the best blurb that I can write.
Episode 138: Invisible Stalker
Mar 17, 2017 • 5 min
This space intentionally left blank.
Episode 137: Intellect Devourer
Mar 15, 2017 • 4 min
Literally the first thing that comes to mind when someone says "draw me a psionic monster."
Episode 136: Insect Swarm
Mar 13, 2017 • 6 min
You can only get so far talking about velvet ants and locusts, so enjoy a dad joke so bad it only appeals to dust.
Episode 135: Insect
Mar 10, 2017 • 8 min
Bugs are mad scary, yo.
Episode 134: Imp, Mephit
Mar 8, 2017 • 7 min
We're serious about that sitcom deal. Call us, we'll save you CBS.
Episode 133: Imp
Mar 6, 2017 • 5 min
It's a tiny little beastie that drives a man. Don't tell Men in Black!
Episode 132: Hydra
Mar 3, 2017 • 5 min
Get some head(s).
Episode 131: Human
Mar 1, 2017 • 6 min
Perhaps the most dangerous game of all was tennis played with an active grenade.
Episode 130: Horse
Feb 27, 2017 • 3 min
Let's strip all of the majesty off of god's most glorious creature, shall we?
Episode 129: Hook Horror
Feb 24, 2017 • 3 min
It's a Dungeons and Dragons classic that prompts and unusual "Would You Rather".
Episode 128: Homonculus
Feb 22, 2017 • 3 min
We're looking to break into television. If you know anyone who's open to sitcom development, let us know!
Episode 127: Hobgoblin
Feb 20, 2017 • 4 min
Take a horse, and put a bird on it.
Episode 126: Hippogriff
Feb 17, 2017 • 4 min
Take a horse, and put a bird on it.
Episode 125: Hippocampus
Feb 15, 2017 • 5 min
Whoever wrote this entry is ultra thirsty for a water horse.
Episode 124: Heucuva
Feb 13, 2017 • 6 min
Find the anti-Kole, and slay him.
Episode 123: Hell Hound
Feb 10, 2017 • 3 min
A walking commercial for Puppy Pepcid. Pupcid.
Episode 122: Haunt
Feb 8, 2017 • 5 min
Are you a DM who needs an excuse to join the action with your players? Then the Haunt may be for you!
Episode 121: Hatori
Feb 6, 2017 • 6 min
A crocodile slides a mile with no legs and a great big smile.
Episode 120: Harpy
Feb 3, 2017 • 6 min
Reverse mythological beasts always do the opposite of what you expect.
Episode 119: Halfling
Feb 1, 2017 • 5 min
Of all the monsters we grappled with and bested, it took the humble halfling to break us entirely.
Episode 118: Hag
Jan 30, 2017 • 5 min
The season of the witch continues as we make a case for Hags being the very best.
Episode 117: Grippli
Jan 27, 2017 • 5 min
Here's one frog who won't suddenly turn into a symbol for Nazi shitheads.
Episode 116: Grimlock
Jan 25, 2017 • 4 min
Big dumb idiot with a club coming through!
Episode 115: Griffon
Jan 23, 2017 • 4 min
Hide your horses, because the skies are never safe.
Episode 114: Gremlin, Jermlaine
Jan 20, 2017 • 5 min
I've been informed that we missed a chance to make a joke about Jermlaine Jackson. Sorry about that.
Episode 113: Gremlin
Jan 18, 2017 • 7 min
Don't get them wet after midnight, or Gary will yell at you for getting the mythology wrong.
Episode 112: Grell
Jan 16, 2017 • 5 min
Brains, birds, and Beholders… oh my!
Episode 111: Gorgon
Jan 13, 2017 • 6 min
Have I already used the "everybody must get stoned" joke? C'mon, there are so many creatures with a petrification gimmick.
Episode 110: Golem, Stone Variants
Jan 11, 2017 • 5 min
Just when you thought you were safe from Golems, here they come again.
Episode 109: Golem, Necrophidius and Scarecrow
Jan 9, 2017 • 6 min
The Ravenloft Rock Block continues with two of the cooler interlopers: A skeletal naga construct and a friend with no brain.
Episode 108: Golem, Gargoyle and Glass
Jan 6, 2017 • 6 min
The redundancy golem shows up twice, even if you don't want him to.
Episode 107: Golem, Doll and Bone
Jan 4, 2017 • 6 min
When Ravenloft comes to crash the party, you don't ask questions.
Episode 106: Golem, Lesser
Jan 2, 2017 • 5 min
They did the monster mash.
Episode 105: Golem, Greater
Jan 1, 2017 • 5 min
Dying would be a stone dude.
Episode 104: Goblin
Dec 28, 2016 • 4 min
Sloppy boys, sloppily drawn.
Episode 103: Gnome, Spriggan
Dec 26, 2016 • 5 min
It's a ghastly group of gnarly gnomes.
Episode 102: Gnome
Dec 23, 2016 • 5 min
Suffering a horrible accident doesn't immediately make you a cryptid, you insensitive monster.Links:Gnome (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 101: Gnoll
Dec 21, 2016 • 4 min
We only need one Wes Anderson, no matter how big your package is.Links:Gnoll (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 100: Gloomwing
Dec 19, 2016 • 3 min
It's a double nightmare creature who's on the prowl for boy-spine from the very shadows themselves.Links:Gloomwing (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 99: Githzerai
Dec 16, 2016 • 4 min
Gith Week ends with the most interesting example of these planar mummy men… The Githzerai. Their lives may be shams!Links:Githzerai (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 98: Githyanki
Dec 14, 2016 • 7 min
Sharpen up your silver swords, it's time to hack through another religious extremist mummy man.
Episode 97: Gith
Dec 12, 2016 • 8 min
Thus begins Gith week, where we try to distinguish between three sets of indistinguishable shrunken mummy men.
Episode 96: Giff
Dec 9, 2016 • 7 min
Please go home, Spelljammer. Space Hippos aren't cool.Links:Giff (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 95: Gibberlings
Dec 7, 2016 • 6 min
We've finally moved past the sea of giants, and now we're on to these small, smelly idiots.Links:Gibberling (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 94: Wood Giant (Voadkyn)
Dec 5, 2016 • 7 min
Our discussion of giants comes to a weird head… specifically by talking about a giant with a weirdly-shaped head.
Episode 93: Storm Giant / Verbeeg
Dec 2, 2016 • 6 min
We finally get to the fireworks factory of Dungeons and Dragons giants… The giant against which all giants are measured. The Verbeeg!
Episode 92: Reef Giant / Stone Giant
Nov 30, 2016 • 8 min
How is a Stone Giant different from a Mountain Giant? Tune in to find out!
Episode 91: Jungle Giant / Mountain Giant
Nov 28, 2016 • 9 min
From the highlands to the lowlands, conversation turns mostly to appearance.
Episode 90: Frost Giant / Hill Giant
Nov 25, 2016 • 7 min
Chilly dummies!
Episode 89: Fog Giant / Fomorian
Nov 23, 2016 • 5 min
We've got one guy who is functionally indistinguishable from a Cloud Giant, and another guy who's just a nasty boy.
Episode 88: Firbolg / Fire Giant
Nov 21, 2016 • 5 min
Just when you thought it was safe to let your guard down around lava.
Episode 87: Desert Giant / Ettin
Nov 18, 2016 • 7 min
It's an exercise in contrasts as we compare the transcendent Desert Giant to the dumb and pointless Ettin.Links:Giant, Desert (Monstrous Manual)Giant, Ettin (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 86: Cloud Giant / Cyclops
Nov 16, 2016 • 8 min
Now begins the long, slow death march of talking about barely-differentiated giants.
Episode 85: Ghoul
Nov 14, 2016 • 4 min
Imagine this: What if zombies were gross?
Episode 84: Ghost
Nov 11, 2016 • 5 min
The withering stare of age is brought on by unfinished business. Settle your accounts, folks.
Episode 83: Genies (Part 2)
Nov 9, 2016 • 6 min
The return of the Bottle Buddies.
Episode 82: Genies (Part 1)
Nov 7, 2016 • 7 min
I'm an efreeti in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way.Links:Genie (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 81: Gargoyle
Nov 4, 2016 • 6 min
A wizard sneezed and a plague was born.Links:Gargoyle (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Episode 80: Gargantua
Nov 2, 2016 • 8 min
Oh no, they say he's got to go: Go Go Gargantua.
Episode 79: Galeb Duhr
Oct 31, 2016 • 4 min
Happy Halloween! Have some boulders that are disguised as boulders.Links:Galeb duhr - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Episode 78: Fungus
Oct 28, 2016 • 6 min
Everything you ever wanted to know about a legit and real scary thing. Both you, and it, will scream forever.
Episode 77: Frog
Oct 26, 2016 • 5 min
It's just frogs, folks.
Episode 76: Fish
Oct 24, 2016 • 5 min
It's just fish.
Episode 75: Feyr
Oct 21, 2016 • 5 min
What first appears to be another beholder is actually an extended Ghostbusters II tribute.Links:Feyr - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Episode 74: Eyewing
Oct 19, 2016 • 4 min
Horrible dummies from the abyss will glue you to the wall with tears.
Episode 73: Ettercap
Oct 17, 2016 • 3 min
The thrilling conclusion to the "how do spiders sleep?" saga.Links:Ettercap - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Episode 72: Elf, Drow
Oct 14, 2016 • 7 min
Deep below the earth, the dark elves weave their radioactive cloaks, warmed by the breath of those who failed the test.Links:Elf, Drow (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 71: Elf, Aquatic
Oct 12, 2016 • 8 min
You live in a paradise under the sea, wending between the kelp… but there's a dark threat from within. Can you trust your eyes, sea elf?Links:Elf, Aquatic (Monstrous Manual)
Episode 70: Elf
Oct 10, 2016 • 5 min
We're back in Player Handbook territory as we discuss the long-lived fey creatures that die in secret like cats.
Episode 69: Elephant
Oct 7, 2016 • 4 min
Or, as we call them, future pianos. Now I'm sad.
Episode 68: Elemental, Composite
Oct 5, 2016 • 6 min
Can you fight a force of nature? Yes, but it would be boring.
Episode 67: Elemental Kin, Water
Oct 3, 2016 • 5 min
True love melts away, and all you're left with is some poison in your eye.
Episode 66: Elemental Kin, Fire
Sep 30, 2016 • 3 min
Who can be sure what a baby snake would grow up to? Would it grow a face? Would its spear become a part of its body? So snuff out the fireplace, sonny, lest you invite doom.
Episode 65: Elemental Kin, Earth
Sep 28, 2016 • 3 min
Nobody has ever used these things in a campaign, and I wouldn't believe you if you contradicted me.
Episode 64: Elemental Kin, Air
Sep 26, 2016 • 5 min
You happen into a clearing and discover a small, pearlescent egg. This isn't an episode of Abject Suffering, but your world is about to change forever.Links:Elemental, Air Kin (Monstrous Manual) — Three months after conception, the sylph lays a pearly egg…
Episode 63: Elementals
Sep 23, 2016 • 7 min
If you kidnap a planar dummy, don't be surprised if he burns your life down.Links:Elemental (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — Elemental creatures are composed of one of the four classical elementals of air, earth, fire, or water.
Episode 62: Dwarf
Sep 21, 2016 • 7 min
Just in case you didn't catch them in the Player Handbook, they're back!Links:Dwarf (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — Dwarves average four feet in height, with squat, broad bodies.
Episode 61: Dryad
Sep 19, 2016 • 5 min
Are you ready for uncomfortable sexual situations? Are you too charming for your own good? Then the Dryad might be for you, sweet thing.Links:Dryad - Forgotten Realms Wiki - Wikia — Dryads are fey-maidens who act as the protectors of forests and trees.…
Episode 60: Dragonne, Turtle Dragon
Sep 16, 2016 • 3 min
Exdragonanza closes with a whimper on a glorified manticore, and what amounts to a gigantic sea turtle.Links:Dragonne - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — From a distance, the dragonne merely looks like a giant lion, with the exception of two metallic…
Episode 59: Dragonets
Sep 14, 2016 • 6 min
Now we enter a detour into the little guys, and hope we don't inhale a dragon faerie.Links:Dragonet (3.5e Creature) - D&D Wiki — This creature resembles a sleek, miniature dragon, slightly smaller than a housecat. It has a thin, long neck, fine scales,…
Episode 58: Steel Dragon, Yellow Dragon
Sep 12, 2016 • 4 min
Too chromatic for the metal dragons, too metallic for the chromatic dragons. Here we have the misfits. The outlaws. The rebels.Links:Chromatic dragon - Forgotten Realms Wiki - Wikia — Chromatic dragons are also very commonly evil.Steel Dragon (Dungeons &…
Episode 57: Dragons, Mercury, Mist, and Shadow
Sep 9, 2016 • 6 min
Let's dig deeper an deeper into Dragonalia, with elemental dragons that skip back and forth between irrelevant planes of existence.Links:Mist dragon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — The mist dragon, also known as the Draco Nebulus Obscura, is a type…
Episode 56: Dragon, Brown, Cloud, Deep
Sep 7, 2016 • 4 min
And the miscellany rolls in, both aloof and pointless.Links:Cloud dragon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — A cloud dragon is a neutrally aligned dragon which can take a gaseous form at will, and can exhale a powerful blast of air.Deep dragon -…
Episode 55: Dragons, Metallic
Sep 5, 2016 • 11 min
A parade of depressing archetypes who will trap you into conversation, then leave you forever to go back to their home planet.Links:Metallic dragon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — Metallic dragon is a classification of dragon found in the role…
Episode 54: Dragons, Gem
Sep 2, 2016 • 9 min
Welcome to the weirdo neutral dragons that time forgot, as their cruel creators shunted them into Monster Manuals with higher and higher numbers.Links:Gem dragon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — The following is a list of the gem dragons, a…
Episode 53: Dragons, Chromatic
Aug 31, 2016 • 11 min
It's a whole rainbow of shitty eternity lizards.Links:Chromatic dragon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — A Chromatic dragon is a classification of fictional dragon found in the role playing game Dungeons & Dragons. In this setting, chromatic dragons…
Episode 52: Dragons, General
Aug 29, 2016 • 7 min
Exdragonanza 2016 begins in earnest as we discuss dragonkind in general, before diving into specifics over the next few weeks.Links:Dragon, General Information (Monstrous Manual) — Dragons are an ancient, winged reptilian race. They are known and feared…
Episode 51: Dracolich
Aug 26, 2016 • 6 min
Contents of the Dracolich may be less bony than they appear.Links:Dracolich (Monstrous Manual) — The dracolich is an undead creature resulting from the unnatural transformation of a dragon. The mysterious Cult of the Dragon practices the powerful magic…
Episode 50: Doppelganger
Aug 24, 2016 • 4 min
We are Gary and Kole. Please proceed as normal.Links:Doppelganger (Monstrous Manual) — The doppelganger is a master of mimicry that survives by taking the shapes of men, demihumans, and humanoids.
Episode 49: Dolphin
Aug 22, 2016 • 3 min
Somehow they made a real animal the most fantastical creature in this book full of sentient jelly and fire nymphs.Links:Dolphin (Monstrous Manual) — The dolphin is both a hunter and hunted in its marine world.
Episode 48: Dog, Moon
Aug 19, 2016 • 3 min
If you come at the Displacer Beast, you best not miss.Links:Dog, Moon (Monstrous Manual) — Often mistaken for baneful monsters, moon dogs are native creatures of Elysium and champions of the causes of good. They often appear in the Prime Material plane to…
Episode 47: Dog
Aug 17, 2016 • 5 min
Tell me all your thoughts on dog, because I know we're going to talk about them.Links:Dog (Monstrous Manual) — Smaller than wolves, the appearance of the wild dog varies from place to place. Most appear very wolf-like, while others seem to combine the…
Episode 46: Displacer Beast
Aug 15, 2016 • 6 min
You can't hit what you can't accurately see.Links:Displacer beast - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — A displacer beast is considered to be a “magical beast”. In the game, it resembles a black puma with a pair of powerful black tentacles sprouting from…
Episode 45: Dinosaur
Aug 12, 2016 • 5 min
Somehow the Monstrous Manual made dinosaurs boring. Bra-fucking-vo.
Episode 44: Deepspawn
Aug 10, 2016 • 4 min
It's a beholder, it's a shoggoth, it's redundant!Links:Deepspawn (Monstrous Manual) — Deepspawn look like large, rubbery spheres of mottled grey and brown. Six arms project from their bodies; three are tentacle-arms, and three are jaw-arms, ending in…
Episode 43: Death Knight
Aug 8, 2016 • 4 min
It's your favorite Dragonlance character, Lord Soth, singing his sorrowful song about his demise.Links:Death Knight (Monstrous Manual) — A death knight is the horrifying corruption of a paladin or lawful good warrior cursed by the gods to its terrible…
Episode 42: Crypt Thing
Aug 5, 2016 • 5 min
Someone ctrl-v'ed the skeleton entry again!Links:Crypt Thing (Monstrous Manual) — A crypt thing looks like nothing more than an animated skeleton, save that it is always clothed in a flowing robe of brown or black. Each eye socket is lit by a fierce, red…
Episode 41: Crustacean, Giant
Aug 3, 2016 • 4 min
Just goes to show you: The angle is everything.Links:Crustacean, Giant (Monstrous Manual) — Giant crustaceans are peculiar mutations of crabs and freshwater crayfish. The first inhabits saltwater regions, while the latter is found only in fresh water.
Episode 40: Crocodile
Aug 1, 2016 • 3 min
Cave Man Boy is back, and he's going to have his say, god damn it.Links:Crocodile (Monstrous Manual) — The crocodile is a large, dangerous predatory reptile native to tropical and subtropical climes. It spends most of its time submerged in swamps, rivers,…
Episode 39: Crawling Claw
Jul 29, 2016 • 4 min
Animated, disembodied hands aren't as cool as you'd think!
Episode 38: Crabmen
Jul 27, 2016 • 7 min
The Monstrous Manual takes a left turn… Instead of making the Crabmen another orc stand-in, they've created a morally nuanced ethical test. A very tasty ethical test.Links:Crabman (Monstrous Manual) — Crabmen live as simple hunter-gatherers, subsisting…
Episode 37: Couatl
Jul 25, 2016 • 6 min
This entry on the Couatl was written by a Couatl.Links:Couatl (Monstrous Manual) — The couatl are feathered serpents of myth and lore. It is believed that they are distant relatives of dragons, although this remains unproven.
Episode 36: Cockatrice
Jul 22, 2016 • 4 min
It's a shittier, birdier basilisk. Next.Links:Cockatrice (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — The cockatrice is based on medieval alchemical folklore, which believed they came from a snake or a toad hatching a rooster’s egg. The…
Episode 35: Cloaker
Jul 20, 2016 • 5 min
Up next: The Pants Mimic.Links:Cloaker (Monstrous Manual) — Cloakers are fiendish horrors, related to trappers, that dwell in dark places far beneath the surface of the earth. They generally seek to kill those who enter their lairs, unless they can think…
Episode 34: Chimera
Jul 18, 2016 • 5 min
It's the Odd Couple in a single body!
Episode 33: Centipede
Jul 15, 2016 • 4 min
Whoever wrote this entry thinks centipedes are the most loathsome creatures in existence.Links:Centipede (Monstrous Manual) — Giant centipedes are loathsome, crawling arthropods that arouse almost universal disgust from all intelligent creatures (even…
Episode 32: Centaur
Jul 13, 2016 • 5 min
Oh to roam free on the wooded fields as a horse elf.Links:Centaur (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — Based upon the centaurs of Greek myth, they resemble humans with the lower bodies of horses.
Episode 31: Cave Fisher
Jul 11, 2016 • 4 min
It's half lobster, half spider, half barnacle, and 100% charming.Links:Cave fisher - Dungeons and Dragons Wiki - Wikia — The cave fisher is a crab-like monster which inhabits the Underdark and ambushes prey. The cave fisher hides on ledges and hunts by…
Episode 30: Catoblepas
Jul 8, 2016 • 6 min
The worst Death Buffalo.Links:Catoblepas (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — A catoblepas has a large, bloated bison’s body with short, stumpy legs like those of a hippopotamus. At the front of its body is a shaggy mane of dark brown…
Episode 29: Cat, Small
Jul 6, 2016 • 4 min
The smaller the cat, the bigger the heart… until it becomes a medical condition.
Episode 28: Cat, Great
Jul 4, 2016 • 4 min
Join us for a tour of all cats medium and large, as the show becomes just a reading of the Encyclopedia Brittanica.Links:Great Cat - Dungeons and Dragons Wiki - Wikia — The great cats are a category of large felines who represent apex predators where they…
Episode 27: Carrion Crawler
Jul 1, 2016 • 5 min
Another in the long line of monsters that just ruin your property values. It's like a centipede, but worse.Links:Carrion crawler - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — The carrion crawler was one of the earliest creatures introduced in the D&D game. In all…
Episode 26: Bullywug
Jun 29, 2016 • 3 min
Delicious frog people who are actually just orcs.Links:Bullywug - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — The bullywugs are portrayed as a violent race of marsh-dwelling frog-like humanoids.
Episode 25: Bulette
Jun 27, 2016 • 4 min
There goes the neighborhood.Links:Bulette - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — Originally inspired by a cheap plastic toy, the bulette was one of the first monsters specifically created for D&D, and has been included in every edition of D&D, although…
Episode 24: Bugbear
Jun 24, 2016 • 6 min
Pointless and boring, the bugbear arrives on the scene to make orcs look interesting in comparison.Links:Bugbear (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — Bugbears resemble hairy, feral goblins standing seven feet tall. They take their…
Episode 23: Brownies
Jun 22, 2016 • 6 min
This is the least excited I've ever been when I heard the word "brownie".Links:Brownie - Dungeons and Dragons Wiki - Wikia — The brownie is a distant relative of the halfling that dwells in quiet, pastoral areas.
Episode 22: Broken One
Jun 20, 2016 • 6 min
How did they make Teleporter Mistakes boring?Links:PlanetADnD, Dungeons and Dragons — Broken ones (or animal men) are the tragic survivors of scientific and magical experiments gone awry. While they were once human, their beings have become mingled with…
Episode 21: Brain Mole
Jun 17, 2016 • 5 min
Psionics are so terrible that a lowly rodent of the ground can use them as snacks.Links:Brain mole - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — The brain mole is a small mole-like mammal that can psionically “burrow” into another creature’s mind.
Episode 20: Birds
Jun 15, 2016 • 3 min
You're loving this, aren't you Kole?
Episode 19: Behir
Jun 13, 2016 • 4 min
When you're trying to choose between "dragon" and "snake" and the coin you flip lands on its edge.Links:Behir - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — A behir is a huge blue serpentine magical beast with a crocodilian head; the creature is around forty feet…
Episode 18: BeholderFest 2016 (Part 6)
Jun 10, 2016 • 8 min
All good things must come to an end. At least until next year.
Episode 17: BeholderFest 2016 (Part 5)
Jun 8, 2016 • 6 min
The many-eyed cavity creep gives way to beholders that don't really need to be beholders.
Episode 16: BeholderFest 2016 (Part 4)
Jun 6, 2016 • 6 min
BeholderFest 2016 will never end! Meet the many-ribbed Death Tyrant and many more of his bizarre friends.Links:Death tyrant - Forgotten Realms Wiki - Wikia — Death tyrants were an undead form of beholder, similar to zombies, that retained some innate…
Episode 15: BeholderFest 2016 (Part 3)
Jun 3, 2016 • 4 min
BeholderFest continues as we settle in and dedicate a whole episode to our friend (and yours), the helpful Spectator.Links:Spectator (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — A spectator is an extraplanar relative of the beholder with four…
Episode 14: BeholderFest 2016 (Part 2)
Jun 1, 2016 • 7 min
Pucker up, because it's time to talk about the Death Kiss, the Eye of the Deep, and the Gauth. The magic is gone!Links:Beholder-kin, Death Kiss (Monstrous Manual) — The Death Kiss, or “bleeder”, is fearsome predator found in caverns or ruins.Eye of the…
Episode 13: BeholderFest 2016 (Part 1)
May 30, 2016 • 8 min
Feast your eyes on the first part of BeholderFest 2016, where we give you the skinny on our favorite Eye Tyrants.Links:Beholder (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — Its appearance is that of a floating orb of flesh with a large mouth,…
Episode 12: Beetle, Giant
May 27, 2016 • 3 min
Please search Kickstarter for our patent-pending beetle sleeping bags. You know, to hide the horror.Links:Beetle (4e Creature) - D&D Wiki — Some species of beetles are innocuous and even beneficial, feeding off of carrion and refuse that would otherwise…
Episode 11: Bears
May 25, 2016 • 4 min
Mr. Burns's Hierarchy of Bears.Links:Category:Bear - Dungeons and Dragons Wiki - Wikia — Bears are “ursine” creatures, distantly related to dogs and canines, but larger and more muscular.
Episode 10: Bats
May 23, 2016 • 6 min
Dead head frisbees and laundering human meat.Links:SRD:Bat - D&D Wiki — Bats are nocturnal flying mammals.
Episode 9: Basilisk
May 20, 2016 • 4 min
The shocking origin story of the Dracolisk: Prodigious production, combined with clumsiness on slippery surfaces.Links:Basilisk » Dungeons & Dragons - D&D 5 — A basilisk is a multilegged, reptilian horror whose deadly gaze transforms victims into porous…
Episode 8: Banshee
May 18, 2016 • 3 min
I scream, you scream, we all scream then die instantly.Links:Banshee - Forgotten Realms Wiki - Wikia — A banshee appears as a translucent image of its former self in life. With the pass of time the image of the banshee tends to become blurred and…
Episode 7: Baatezu
May 16, 2016 • 4 min
Don't confuse a devil for a demon, it doesn't end well.Links:Baatezu - Forgotten Realms Wiki - Wikia — Baatezu were a category of devils inhabiting the Nine Hells of Baator.
Episode 6: Aurumvorax
May 13, 2016 • 3 min
Smeltable truffle pigs in the shape of centibadgers.Links:Aurumvorax - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — The aurumvorax seems to have a deep affection for precious ores and minerals, which it consumes to supplement its mainly carnivorous diet.
Episode 5: Argos
May 11, 2016 • 3 min
Who overcooked the Beholder!?Links:PlanetADnD, Dungeons and Dragons — Argos are found in the same regions of wildspace as the baleful beholder nations.
Episode 4: Arcane
May 9, 2016 • 3 min
Passive aggressive space weirdos prowl the void, looking for gold to have sex with.
Episode 3: Ankheg
May 6, 2016 • 4 min
Here comes the Ankheg to undermine our views of intelligence and society, especially as concerns worms and farming.Links:Ankheg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — An ankheg is described as having six legs and a many-segmented body, all covered in a…
Episode 2: Aboleth
May 4, 2016 • 4 min
Prepare yourselves to become slime slaves to gigantic bottom feeding degenerates.Links:Aboleth - Forgotten Realms Wiki - Wikia — They resemble a bizarre eel, with long, tubular bodies, as well as a tail at one end and two fins near the head and another…
Episode 1: Aarakocra
May 2, 2016 • 5 min
The Aarakocra are crappy bird people with secret fingers and a penchant for cloaca-based basketry.Links:Aarakocra - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia