The Nearly Coherent Podcast

The Nearly Coherent Podcast
A Podcast About Things & Stuff.
070: Not the Pork Belly!
Jun 20 • 27 min
eD!, Jeff, Dave, and Val chat about things that seemed terrible when this was recorded but then child concentration camps started so they seem pretty quaint in hindsight.
069: And We Don’t Mention It Once
Jun 13 • 39 min
eD!, Jeff, Dave, and Val discuss the human brains.
068: Mojambo
Jun 6 • 51 min
eD!, Jeff, Dave, and Val discuss the happenings at WWDC.
067: A Massive Bruise
May 30 • 44 min
eD!, Jeff, and Val discuss gravity.
066: Podcast by Candlelight
May 23 • 58 min
eD! and Jeff could use a nap.
065: 3-Week Old Spoilers
May 17 • 65 min
eD!, Jeff, Dave, and Val finally chat about Infinity War.
064: The Abstract Juggalo
May 10 • 75 min
eD!, Jeff, and Val talk about not talking about Avengers: Infinity War.
063: Spoiler-Free
May 2 • 47 min
eD! and Jeff discuss Avengers-themed sex toys.
062: Tony, Not Steve
Apr 25 • 15 min
eD! discusses theories on Avengers: Infinity War.
061: Soul Medicine
Apr 18 • 60 min
eD!, Jeff, and Val discuss Hot Tub Wine.
060: An Impressive Lexicon
Apr 9 • 50 min
eD!, Jeff, and Val discuss Dog Law.
059: The Hundredth Episode
Apr 5 • 52 min
eD!, Jeff, and Dave discuss Beef Wellington, Florida.
058: A Natural Juggalo
Mar 28 • 61 min
Facebook is boned! eD! has no idea how old people are! Updates on Val’s impending move! And unnecessary excitement over a hypothetical Juggalo dating site!
057: Sambuka and Emergen-C
Mar 21 • 41 min
Val’s being stalked by the wedding industry! Infinity War trailer reactions! And tales of Jeff almost starting an international incident!
056: Murder Song
Mar 14 • 62 min
Jeff’s got the flu! eD!’s excited about the new “Weird Al” polka! Thoughts on musical theater! The awesomeness of the Moana soundtrack! And Val asks about what our murder songs would be!
055: Dave’s Shining Moment
Mar 7 • 42 min
Jeff talks about things! Dave has something to say! Val also discusses stuff! …Look, I was sick and wasn’t on this episode, and I didn’t have time to listen to it before I posted it, so this is the best I can do. Deal with it.
054: You Are Jeff!
Feb 28 • 35 min
Jeff is finally back! If you need more information than that for some reason, there’s an important Dave’a News Corner, Val has some “fun” facts about Ben Vereen, and we talk about *Black Panther* a bunch, But mostly *Jeff is back!*
053: Follow Your Passion!
Feb 14 • 55 min
Excitement for Black Panther! Valentine’s Day plans! Online dating mishaps! And Dave makes his triumphant return to Nearly Coherent with a Dave’s News Corner story that is actually pretty damn good! Excellent work, Dave!
052: AbandoneD!
Feb 6 • 23 min
Everyone else might be busy, but eD! cares enough about you to do an episode, alone, just so you have something to listen to. You’re welcome, Internet.
051: You’re Not Jeff, Part 2
Jan 31 • 39 min
Grumpy Cat’s legal victory! St. John’s Wart is a stupid name! eD!’s new favorite app that he hasn’t bought yet! And some general whining about HomePod, because eD!’s a bit bummed about the reviews, the nerd.
050: You’re Not Jeff, Part 1
Jan 23 • 38 min
The nicest government shutdown! AIM screen names! The new anchor who looks like a weasel in a too-tight shirt! And where the hell is Jeff?!
049: The Turning of the Tide Pods
Jan 16 • 36 min
Jeff knows he’s old because he doesn’t understand a damn thing! eD!’s been reading books and playing video games! Yet another celebrity turns out to be a creep! And Saudi Arabia’s choice of the first commercial movie to be shown in 35 years is a bit…
048: We Made It!
Jan 9 • 34 min
The holidays are over and the planet wasn’t destroyed in some idiotic nuclear war or whatnot, so we’re back, talking about new shiny things electronics for the old people, shenanigans at the Golden Globes, and the glorious dream that is being in bed by…
047.5: The Dave of It All
Dec 26, 2017 • 6 min
Did you listen to the episode where we said we’d be off for two weeks? Dave didn’t, apparently, and showed up to record an episode without anyone else around, because Dave’s an idiot.
047: Goodbye, 2017, You Idiot Dumpster Fire
Dec 19, 2017 • 35 min
Jeff puts on a tin-foil hat to ask about the conspiracy behind Net Neutrality! Exclusive polling done by Nearly Coherent about the hottest holiday gifts! Everyone wants Philips to give them free Hue bulbs since we plug them so hard this episode! And a…
046: Many Lessons
Dec 12, 2017 • 36 min
eD! declares some sports-team allegiances based on uniform colors! The Milkshake Duck Theory versus videos of a bullied child! And finally, an answer to whether being racist and anti-Semitic is ever okay! (Spoiler: It very much is not!)
045: A Lotta Butts
Dec 5, 2017 • 41 min
Jeff tells a heartwarming tale of Dave’s heroic deeds, eD! reads an article about Jesus’s butt, excitement over the new Infinity War trailer, and we cement ourselves as the top sex toy information security podcast on the planet (probably)!
044: Old Planes Tootin’ in the Sky [Updated!]
Nov 28, 2017 • 48 min
Uh the episode should be working now. Sorry ’bout that. I blame Jeff, who can still eat many butts. Jeff is a total idiot about net neutrality. (Okay, fine, he just offers a different viewpoint. But he sprung this on eD! as a surprise, therefore not…
043: More Information on Björk Than You Require
Nov 21, 2017 • 43 min
eD! saw Justice League and has feelings you might not expect! An update to Jeff’s question about smartwatches for children from last week! And a bunch of nerdy ranking of Batman villains, mostly because we can! Also, if you want to support the Kickstarter…
042: Do Not Stare Directly at the Goldblum Nips
Nov 15, 2017 • 35 min
iPhone X has some issues, the new Star Wars video game is causing a stir, and eD! & Jeff take a bit of time to point out that it’s not so hard to make it through life without sexually assaulting anyone. Really! Also your apologies for the sexual…
041: Awkward Snacks & Cheeseburgers
Oct 31, 2017 • 32 min
eD! and Jeff celebrate Indictment Day, a discussion on another reason why Android is the pits happens, revelations regarding the iPhone X preorders, and Jeff has a very important question that he’d like eD! to answer.
040: Jeff Likes Ben Affleck’s Daredevil
Oct 24, 2017 • 29 min
Jeff wants to try sensory deprivation, but eD! thinks that sounds like a nightmare! Categories of things on Kickstarter! Butt plug security! And Tales of White People Nonsense!
039: Catching Up
Oct 17, 2017 • 35 min
After missing last week thanks to Jeff being sick and eD! being stuck in Deadline Hell, we’re back to talk about the happenings at New York Comic-Con, Quentin Tarantino’s foot fetish, the death and rebirth of Disney Movies Anywhere, and streaming TV…
038: A Profound Disappointment in Humanity
Oct 3, 2017 • 41 min
More information about DC Comics than you’d ever need to know, the threat of cow flatulence, and a lighthearted discussion on people’s general annoying inflexibility on trivial things like our fundamental freedoms as Americans.
037: The Kimmy Gibbler of Worlds
Sep 26, 2017 • 35 min
Jeff’s all proud of his son, which is nice! There’s a $350 jean jacket, which is crazy! The $18000 Apple Watch Edition isn’t getting all the stuff the new $350 Apple Watch is, which is awkward! And eD! has definitive proof these are the end times, which…
036: Useless Trivia & Poops
Sep 20, 2017 • 33 min
Is there a way to turn knowing too much trivia about Bob Ross and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? into a fortune? Seriously, if you know one, please get in touch, that’d be really helpful. Also: iOS 11! eD! answers Jeff’s questions about wifi! And the story of a…
035: eD!’s Christmas
Sep 13, 2017 • 52 min
There was an Apple event yesterday and eD!, being a total slut for his masters from Cupertino, is stupidly excited about things. Jeff’s kinda excited about things, too. They share a deep bond in respect to fondness for shiny blinky things. You know who’s…
034: Jazzy Rage
Sep 6, 2017 • 36 min
Who’s worse: people who only rinse their hands after using the bathroom, or people who don’t wash their hands at all? Can Jeff go to Hershey Park without yelling at old people in motorized scooters? How accepting of sweater vests should we be as a people?…
033: Muppet Nips
Aug 29, 2017 • 40 min
Jeff is obsessed with some new sports-based conspiracies, eD! knows some stuff about sportsball news, and a new Dave’s News Corner without Dave, which is the greatest gift of all! Also, we somehow get on the topic of Muppet nipples. We’d like to say it’s…
032: With Apologies to Beirut
Aug 22, 2017 • 48 min
Performing weddings! eD! kinda breaks an NDA from 26 years ago! The new DuckTales! Marvel’s The Defenders! Favorite memes! Seriously, we go all over the damn place in this one. This episode has something for (almost) everyone!
031.5: The Thrilling Conclusion
Aug 15, 2017 • 2 min
After a week of waiting, we present the thrilling conclusion to the cliffhanger from episode 31! HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS, PEOPLE!
031: Happy Tuesday
Aug 8, 2017 • 33 min
Reports of awkward times at The Emoji Movie! New careers opening up at NASA! Wonderfully awful recorded calls with Human Resources! And a heartbreaking conversation about the official Death of Love.
030: The No. 1 Podcast
Aug 1, 2017 • 49 min
In this episode, Jeff tries to convince eD! that Yoo-hoo is better than Nesquik, but eD! doesn’t care because he’s allergic to both of them so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, a lively discussion about a shockingly good Chicken Parmesan sandwich, talk about the recent…
029: A f’real-ly Good Convenience Store
Jul 25, 2017 • 29 min
Jeff and eD! nerd out about Comic-Con happenings, Apple released a new commercial featuring The Rock and Siri, Roomba has done some creepy stuff, and excitement abounds about the new convenience store that has opened nearby.
028: The One Without Swearing
Jul 18, 2017 • 5 min
News from the past week hits close to home for eD!’s Dad, who comes on to share his important-ish story on this very special episode of Nearly Coherent. Then they go to watch an episode of Riverdale on Netflix, which is a bonkers show that you all should…
027: Like Veal for a Cannibal
Jul 11, 2017 • 44 min
Spider-Man: Homecoming, the latest trends in bachelor parties, tales of delicious steaks, and theories on the world’s unlikeliest savior in these troubled geopolitical times!
026: Canadian Bacon & Bologna’s Awkward Love-Child
Jul 4, 2017 • 43 min
The threat of kangaroos to autonomous driving, new advances in sex toy science, solving the Red Vines vs. Twizzlers debate once and for all, and the mystery of pork roll! Also: Lisa!
025: Taking a Stand
Jun 27, 2017 • 24 min
It has been thirty years since the creation of the GIF, and the debate has raged on since then: is the damn thing pronounced with a hard ‘G’ or soft ‘G’? eD!, Jeff, and Dave take this debate on and hope they might be able to convince you that one of them…
024: Soft and Scratchy
Jun 20, 2017 • 24 min
eD!’s finally seen Beauty and the Beast and has some opinions on it, an update on Jeff’s jeans, the worst holiday in the world, and what in the hell is YouTube doing with their live TV app?
023: Our Alaskan Cruise
Jun 13, 2017 • 40 min
eD! loves Wonder Woman! A discussion of The Ritter Ratio! Wheel of Fortune strategies! Groundbreaking innovations in White Castle science! And because Dave and/or Duke aren’t there to keep the weirdness in check, this entire episode is recorded while eD!…
022: Let’s All Go Buy an iPad
Jun 6, 2017 • 52 min
Jeff marks his return to the podcast with tales of his adventures in Disney World, and eD! is giddy with excitement after an Apple keynote for the first time in what seems like forever. Also: Which Apple executive looks like Droopy Dog after significant…
021: Going Through the Garbage
May 30, 2017 • 31 min
The Intern has graduated! Nightmare-inducing tales of online dating! And absolutely no awkward editing occurs at all, no sir!
020: Awkward Pants
May 23, 2017 • 32 min
eD! delights in Alex Jones being legally crushed by yogurt, Dave has a few questions regarding the current state of pants, and the hot-button topic of Romphims is discussed! Also: The Intern had a few drinks at dinner and she totally cuts loose. It’s…
019: Everything is Awful
May 16, 2017 • 24 min
We live in a world where institutions and norms are under attack from all sides, and there’s one in particular that has breaks eD!’s heart. Dave comes at the world with the darkest News Corner ever. And Jeff has finally seen Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.…
018: Grapes-n-Gristle
May 9, 2017 • 24 min
The Intern is on track to become this generation’s Estelle Getty, creepy information on cheap wine, Dave’s girlfriend is mad at someone other than Dave, and Jeff more or less breaks eD!’s brain.
017: Slapping the Bishop
May 2, 2017 • 45 min
A lively discussion of the science of Coca-Cola at McDonald’s, the magic of Popeye’s mashed potatoes and gravy, idiots rushing into burning buildings, and, of course, unicycles. You know, all the normal stuff people talk about when they get together.
016: A Conversation with Science
Apr 25, 2017 • 43 min
Long-time listeners know that eD! and Jeff have their problems with science, so when they heard about the Science March this weekend, they demanded that someone come to account for why we should stand up for science when it hasn’t delivered things like…
015: Dave’s (Probably) Not a Terrorist (Maybe)
Apr 18, 2017 • 40 min
Jeff condemns everyone to be sick, eD! feels like an idiot at a cybersecurity conference, people are stabbed in the head for no discernible reason, crazy-ass “performance art”, and sweet, sweet, dinosaur love. We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again:…
014: Tubthumping
Apr 11, 2017 • 34 min
Sharknado in real life, the healing power of farting in a relationship, and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air‘s original Aunt Viv is super pissed, you guys!
013: Dave’s Blasphemy
Apr 4, 2017 • 43 min
Preventing ISPs from seeing your browsing history now that they can sell it, the ball of awfulness that is Mike Pence, the return of the Juggalo Whisperer, and Dave says something so shocking that Jeff can’t handle it!
012: The Cheesesteak Incident
Mar 28, 2017 • 39 min
eD! tags along with Dave and Lisa on a trip to Philly that gets oddly religious, tales of car accidents caused by mythical woodland creatures, eD! gets far too annoyed at new Apple products for his own good, and Jeff talks about a hot movie he just saw…
011: Congratulations, Dave!
Mar 21, 2017 • 34 min
Awkward cloud-connected devices, potential new Apple products that eD! gets completely wrong, and eD! & Jeff make a life choice for Dave that he can’t walk back because it is now on the internet!
010: Snakes and Pie
Mar 17, 2017 • 28 min
It’s St. Patrick’s Day, which celebrates the day the saint drove the snakes out of Ireland… In celebration of that, let’s talk about crazy-ass snakes coming out of cars! Also: Jeff has questions about Raspberry Pi, which makes eD! want some pie. Mm, pie!
009: Two Dudes, Four Mics
Mar 14, 2017 • 35 min
In this very special episode of Nearly Coherent, we discuss an uptick in cookie-related crime, Dave reveals some details about his weekend that are marginally disturbing, and an inconvenient truth comes to light regarding some plot points in Beauty and…
008: The Apple of My Armpit
Mar 7, 2017 • 40 min
Horrifying regional dating customs! Beauty and The Beast backlash! Disgusting information on hotel pools! And a shocking cliffhanger that comes out of nowhere that we may never answer!
007: Lessons in Why You Shouldn’t Name Things
Feb 28, 2017 • 36 min
In this episode, eD! and Jeff talk about their cheesesteak preferences, a discussion is had about The Oscars, Intern helps out with some research, and Dave has a big-ass head. This podcast has everything!
006.5: Dave’s Punishment
Feb 21, 2017 • 37 min
In the last episode, Dave got all mopey that he never gets a week off from doing the podcast, unlike our on-the-run-from-Juggalos Intern. So, in an attempt to make Dave happy, eD! and Jeff gave Dave the week off. However, to keep Dave from being too…
006: We Finally Know Where Dave Keeps His Monocle
Feb 14, 2017
In this episode, we have an enlightened discussion on dick pics, Dave wraps up all the things eD! and Jeff missed on the Grammys, and a lively debate is had over celebrities wanting to be part of Saturday Night Live’s political sketches. Also: eD! issues…
005: Nose Roach
Feb 8, 2017 • 26 min
The biggest sporting event of the year happened last weekend, and eD! has opinions! There was also a football game, which Jeff and Dave discuss. Also: Protest Night in America! Valentine’s Day! And more talk about roaches than eD! can reasonably handle!
004: 4, 5, Second Half of 1, 2, 3, 6, 7
Jan 31, 2017 • 36 min
Questions answered in this episode: 1. Is Dave a terrible human being? 2. Did Jeff introduce his son to Star Wars incorrectly? 3. Is Thor better than Thor: The Dark World? 4. Can anyone casually mention that they’ve dated a Juggalo without getting mocked?
003: A Legitimate News Organization
Jan 24, 2017 • 45 min
Jeff attempts to ignore the news, but eD! is an ass and pop’s Jeff’s media-blackout bubble! Everyone enjoys some high-quality signs from the Women’s March! A definitive ranking of hottest United States Presidents! And we reveal the shocking truth as to…
002: A Dementia-Preventing Fart
Jan 17, 2017 • 34 min
In this episode, the Intern contributes some news stories she wants to talk about! Not to be outdone, Dave brings along two pointless news stories, because he’s a jealous bitch and will not be outdone by the new person! ALSO: Who would survive the longest…
001: New Year, New-ish Us
Jan 10, 2017 • 31 min
We’re restarting this mess for the new year! In today’s episode, Dave brings two(!) of his garbage news stories to really start things off horribly, everyone looks back on the tenth anniversary of the announcement of the iPhone, and Jeff wonders if his…