The Greatest Generation

The Greatest Generation

www.maximumfun.org/shows/greatest-generation
A Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a bit embarassed to have a Star Trek podcast.


Yeomans are for Fucking (DS9 S5E16)
Dec 2 • 77 min
When Dr. Bashir’s parents discovered they had a Ralph on their hands, his paste-eating was cured at the genetic level. But when those same parents accidentally reveal their conspiracy at his workplace, he has a difficult choice to make. What’s the worst…
Zeal for Ziyal (DS9 S5E15)
Nov 25 • 82 min
When Dukat makes a Faustian bargain with the Dominion, it comes out of left field for the entire crew of Deep Space Nine. But when the station’s imprisoned crewmen place all their hopes of escape on Garak’s shoulders, he’ll have to overcome his deepest…
Raktajino is for Closers Only (DS9 S5E14)
Nov 18 • 72 min
When Garak receives a call for help from the Gamma Quadrant, Sisko throws him the keys to a runabout (as long as Worf drives). But when the wormhole begins dumping ticks all over DS9, Sisko decides to seal it up, which would leave them marooned on the…
Shampoo Holocaust (DS9 S5E13)
Nov 11 • 65 min
When the Captain goes undercover in the Star Trek caves, it’s finally time for him to toast one of his enemies. But when the pillow fight of arguments takes an ugly turn, a badly damaged Defiant is the only ship Starfleet can use to stop the Mayquees.…
Liquor Sherpa (DS9 S5E12)
Nov 4 • 67 min
When Major Kira begins the birthing process, Odo is coincidentally also “with child.” But when complications arise during their entries into the world, daddy issues strike both parents at once. Does anybody get off from comedy edging? Will O’Brien miss…
Once a Vigilante, Always a Vigilante (DS9 S5E11)
Oct 28 • 66 min
When someone in the neighborhood starts killing nursing students, only those nursing students are in fact former members of the Shakaar Resistance Cell, only one Major can stop the killing. But when she doesn’t stop the killing, Kira sets out to do a…
The Bajoranchelor (DS9 S5E10)
Oct 21 • 72 min
When Captain Sisko enhances a piece of Bajoran artwork, it begins a trip of mind-expanding exploration. But when a lenient Admiral lets Sisko skip a drug test, it means he might not ever come back down from his high. Who decides on carpet for a holosuite?…
The Work of Idiots (DS9 S5E9)
Oct 14 • 79 min
When Odo finally gets an excuse to remand Quark into Federation custody, he’s remarkably incurious about whether the bartender is even guilty. But when an Orion bomb strands them on Planet Yosemite, the old adversaries will come to form a bond that only…
Also What My Wife Says (Wrath of Khan - Bonus Episode)
Oct 10 • 95 min
When a new tour’s tickets are on sale, Ben and Adam decide to share a rare bonus episode with the public feed. But when their live show about Wrath of Khan is recorded in a synagogue, these vulgar podcasters will face their biggest challenge yet. Will…
The Sistine Chapel of Foreheads (DS9 S5E8)
Oct 7 • 58 min
When a pattern of dangerous off-station conference attendance emerges, it’s Sisko, Odo, Dax and Garak caught in the storm this time. But when it’s revealed that the story they experienced was all a dream, the fallout from their shared experience is all…
The Violent Honeymoon Period (DS9 S5E7)
Sep 30 • 69 min
When they take a sex vacation to Risa, several of their crewmates invite themselves on a runabout that probably would have been destroyed if Worf and Dax had it to themselves. But when Worf becomes interested in attending timeshare sales pitches, the…
When You Do Time Crime, You Have To Do The Time Crime Time (DS9 S5E6)
Sep 23 • 75 min
When the time travel police show up to interrogate Captain Sisko, the story he tells them is full of callbacks. But when the crew goes back in time to save Captain Kirk’s life, their reverence for him becomes referential. Would you buy what The Traveler…
An Amélie (DS9 S5E5)
Sep 16 • 74 min
When Keiko returns from a trip to Bajor, it’s more than just chocolate bonbons that have gone to her head. But when she am become dead man switch, it will take more than seventeen fingers of whiskey for Miles to cope. When was the last time you owned jean…
Emergency Field Urine (DS9 S5E4)
Sep 9 • 76 min
When Jake makes Dr. Bashir the subject of a writing assignment it feels like he’s shot himself in the foot, creatively. But when they’re dropped into a war zone and days away from rescue, he’ll find out if the pen is mightier than the bat’leth. Do all…
Up Your Worf and Around the Corner (DS9 S5E3)
Sep 2 • 73 min
When Quark’s old flame returns to the station, Worf becomes the galaxy’s least likely dating consultant. But when the lady’s security detail decides the Ferengi is a threat, Worf will need to puppet Quark via harmonica holder. Is Major Kira a unicorn?…
USS Patio (DS9 S5E2)
Aug 26 • 63 min
When a Jem’Hadar tick is found buried in a very sensitive area, Captain Sisko and company must tweeze through the wreckage. But when a Vorta appears with a bunch of her friends, Sisko becomes suspicious about what they’re covering up. Is grief something a…
Chekhov’s Poké Ball (DS9 S5E1)
Aug 19 • 71 min
When Sisko recruits Odo for a dangerous mission in Klingon Space, he’ll have to try a whole new kind of shape shifting. But the all-night party at Gowron’s HQ takes its toll, and the whole team struggles to remember their Klingon lessons. What’s the flair…
Gowron Tweeted (DS9 S4E25)
Aug 12 • 61 min
When Odo comes down with an illness that Dr. Bashir can’t cure, Changeleader invites him to her new home on Golden Pond. But when it turns out Odo’s punishment is more of a life sentence, everything is about to get harder for him. How do you know when…
Until Your Face is as Blue as Your Shirt (DS9 S4E24)
Aug 5 • 67 min
When a runabout with precious cargo sustains a banger, Bashir plays a cup and ball trick with Miles and Keiko’s unborn child. But when Quark gets a bad diagnosis, the Ferengis find themselves involved in yet another harebrained latinum scheme that could…
Mother Kevorkian (DS9 S4E23)
Jul 29 • 63 min
When a planet full of disease-punished people are discovered, the inhabitants have lost hope for a cure. But when Dr. Bashir’s street magic special gets poorly reviewed, it sets up a conflict between him and the doctor in charge. How do you say that…
Measure Twice, See if You’re Cut Once (DS9 S4E22)
Jul 22 • 70 min
After the station’s pylon gets cut right off, the crew will have to team up with some extremely unlikely allies to hoo ride on the Jem’Hadar responsible. But as the mission progresses, the alliance only serves to highlight divisions between the Federation…
Hard to Hide a Gun in a Bathrobe (DS9 S4E21)
Jul 15 • 68 min
When Kasidy Yates is accused of smuggling for the Maquis, Captain Sisko doesn’t believe it. But when the evidence becomes incontrovertible, hers is just the first in a series of double-crosses he’ll experience that day. Where are all the octo-pip…
Write Horny, Edit Sober (DS9 S4E20)
Jul 8 • 71 min
When Troi’s mom comes down with a case of baby bump, it’s up to Odo to devise a legal strategy to let her keep her late-in-life child. But when Jake Sisko makes friends with the wrong puff of gold glitter, a novel isn’t the only thing that starts coming…
I Am Not Your Mom (I Am “Malibu” Your Mom) (DS9 S4E19)
Jul 1 • 66 min
When Jake Sisko is abducted and taken into the Mirror Universe, it feels more like a family vacation than a trip to a dangerous place. But when the good times give way to forced labor, it’ll be more than the viewer who is owed an explanation for how…
Toolbox Full of Dildos (DS9 S4E18)
Jun 24 • 68 min
When the Chief comes home from a diplomatic trip, he’s got about 20 years more memories than he bargained for. But when a disgraceful secret from those memories threatens to push him over the edge, it will take the whole crew to keep him from…
The Cal Hudson Altitude (DS9 S4E17)
Jun 17 • 65 min
When Worf stands trial for bad aim on the battlefield, he lawyers up with Captain Sisko. But when it’s clear that the prosecution is making a target of Worf, it will be up to Odo to discover the evidence needed to exonerate him. How fragile is an iPad?…
Dartboard Daddy (DS9 S4E16)
Jun 10 • 75 min
When the wormhole spits out an old ship, the survivor wants to take Sisko’s job and force Kira to play with modeling clay. And while change at home is testing the O’Brien marriage, social change is testing Sisko’s willingness to relinquish his status as a…
Hair Metal Pinkertons (DS9 S4E15)
Jun 3 • 68 min
When Rom gets an earache, Dr. Bashir puts more into his head than just medicine. But after the employees of Quark’s go on strike, concessions of any kind are hard to come by. What is Dr. Bashir collecting in those thermoses? Who’s got nostalgia for the D?…
Weeaboo But For Klingons (DS9 S4E14)
May 27 • 64 min
When Kern makes a pit stop at the station on his way to Sto’Vo’Kor, he asks Worf for more than just gas money. But when Dax catches wind of the Klingon rite and puts a stop to it, brotherhood, Worf’s loyalty to Starfleet, and Bashir’s loyalty to the…
Klingon Thirst Trap (DS9 S4E13)
May 20 • 66 min
When Major Kira gets assigned a diplomatic mission, she’s given a chaperone that turns it into a career-redeeming move. But when the Klingons insult the size of his ship, Gul Dukat overcompensates big time. How far away is a believable nose? Do all drain…
Odo Needs a Dad (DS9 S4E12)
May 13 • 69 min
When First Minister Shakaar pays a visit to the station, Odo and Worf will have to figure out how to collaborate as security men. But when the Constable’s crush on Kira starts to impact his job performance, he sets himself up for a Japanese warrior level…
Back to One (DS9 S4E11)
May 6 • 65 min
When what Captain Sisko thought was a changeling takeover turns out to be a Federation power grab, it’s somehow even more difficult than before to know who his friends are. But when Admiral Leyton’s coup d’état breaks down like a Coupe DeVille, his plans…
Tour Diaper (DS9 S4E10)
Apr 29 • 77 min
When changelings bomb a diplomatic conference, Ben Sisko heads to Earth to try to prevent a war. But when it turns out his own father looks like Admiral Cartwright, the Khitomer vibes really get out of control. Is Dax prank-flirting with Odo? Is religion…
Hoofs in the High Stakes Area (DS9 S4E9)
Apr 22 • 61 min
When Garak walks in on Dr. Bashir during a holosuite session, he witnesses a level of prurience that was best kept private. But when lives depend on their ability to keep the session going, they’ll have to think about a baseball program to maintain their…
It’s a Neutral Sausage (DS9 S4E8)
Apr 15 • 67 min
When Worf teams up with Dax and Kor to liberate a Klingon relic from the GQuad, his life suddenly feels like it has a purpose. But when that selfsame relic starts to exhibit One Ring-like properties, it’s anyone’s guess who will survive their long trip in…
Alleged Loughlin (DS9 S4E7)
Apr 8 • 67 min
When Quark gets a new RV from his cousin, he decides his first drive should be a road trip taking Nog to college. But when a blowout leaves them stranded in an unfamiliar place, their timing couldn’t be worse. What should you always wash after buying from…
They Really Spent on the Sparks (DS9 S4E6)
Apr 1 • 66 min
When the Little D can’t advance in the game without doing an escort mission, they descend into a submarine trope salad to hunt some ticks. But when a Disaster level of crew separation takes place, it might fall to Quark to save the ship. What’s the best…
Uncle Magic (DS9 S4E5)
Mar 25 • 61 min
When a lover from Dax’s past visits Deep Space Nine, the rest of the crew expects some tension between them. But after their scientific collaboration results in personal fireworks, they’ll have to decide if imperiling their futures as Trill symbiotes is…
Emotionally Vulnerable for the Lulz (DS9 S4E4)
Mar 18 • 70 min
When a familiar face brings Kira news from the scrap yard, she’s back on a cold case from before the end of the occupation. But when the Cardassians catch wind of the news, she’ll have to team up with Dukat to beat up some Storm Troopers. Should you give…
#ColonGoals (DS9 S4E3)
Mar 11 • 68 min
When Worf notices a bootleg Morn, he begins to slip into his bad security habits. But when O’Brien and Bashir get taken prisoner by some Jem’Hadars, finding a cure for bad habits might be the only way the Doctor can save them. What are the steps in…
Barely Legal (DS9 S4E2)
Mar 4 • 62 min
When Ben Sisko vanishes in a freak workplace accident, his son Jake is left without anyone to hug. But when a much older Jake jumps at the chance to change the past, he must be willing to o destroy his present, and with it the writing career he’s always…
Tout Suite Goop Sweep (DS9 S4E1&2)
Feb 25 • 64 min
When the Klingons’ plan of “Stop, Frisk, and Blood Test” raises the tensions near the wormhole, Worf must find out their true motivations before it’s too late. But with Gowron personally leading the armada, Sisko must depend on guile (as well as a DS9’s…
O’Brien Fingers Bashir (DS9 S3E26)
Feb 18 • 63 min
When the Little D is deployed to the frontier of the federation, nobody is initially suspicious that Jake Sisko seems to now be a Starlfleet Admiral. But when aliens we’ve never heard of threaten war with the Federation, it’s the diplomats you really have…
(Straight out of) Episode 74 (DS9 S3E25)
Feb 11 • 68 min
When Jadzia Dax assembles her friends for a symbiote bar mitzvah, everyone is invited. But when some guests overstay their welcome, it’s up to Dax to convince Kerzon that the party’s over. What’s the most boring video game? Which actor may be “too scary…
Tomb of the Unknown Dick (DS9 S3E24)
Feb 4 • 100 min
When Kira is confronted with the prospect of the most awful person possible becoming the head of her planet’s government, that news comes with a mission from that same awful person. But when she tries to repo some farm equipment from her old terror cell,…
Space Dish (DS9 S3E23)
Jan 28 • 64 min
When a secret investment scheme by Quark’s mother is laid bare, it makes everybody else in her family uncomfortable. But when a freighter captain visits DS9, it’s apparent to everyone that Commander Sisko is looking to give her docking ring preferential…
The Red Hammer Diaries (DS9 S3E22)
Jan 21 • 73 min
When a bend-at-the-waist hug, leads to a father/son sailing trip, the Sisko men get to cranking. But when the adventure threatens to provoke a diplomatic incident, they’ll have to keep their new hobby in a bottle. Why is Dax cock-blocking Bashir? What’s a…
Ask the Husnock (If You Can Find Any) (DS9 S3E21)
Jan 14 • 68 min
When Enabran Tain devises a military strategy straight out of the Admiral Hanson playbook, the fight does not go well. But when their plan to splash the Founders puddle gets them all wet, Garak must choose between escaping with his friend or going down…
You Went A to F U (DS9 S3E20)
Jan 7 • 66 min
When an attempt is made on Garak’s life, it’s not just tailoring paraphernalia that gets blown out into the open. But when the Cardassian spy stops dissembling and the Tal Shiar stops playing chess, the potential conflict takes on a Spaceball One sense of…
Uncle Terrans (DS9 S3E19)
Dec 31, 2018 • 60 min
When Commander Sisko gets taken to the Mirror Universe, he makes strong choices w/r/t “the right thing to do” vs. “the Mirror Universe thing to do.” But when confronted face to face with his Prime Dead wife, his mission begins to suffer from a case of…
A Sarlacc Type of Mouth (DS9 S3E18)
Dec 24, 2018 • 77 min
When Garak is in the midst of soundly defeating Bashir in a round of Birthday Chess, Quark introduces a scary man to the doctor. But when that man goes rummaging in Bashir’s personal space, that space turns out to be more personal than he originally…
Top PtaQ (DS9 S3E17)
Dec 17, 2018 • 70 min
When Chief O’Brien gets irradiated, the side effects are disorienting. But when his premonitions predict danger for DS9, he’ll have to rely on the only person he can trust: himself. How dangerous is the ceremonial garter throw? Is Sisko Kira’s “work…
Let Go and Let Horse (DS9 S3E16)
Dec 10, 2018 • 72 min
When a mysterious stranger gives Quark blue oomox (bluemox? bloomox?), the ne’erdowell bartender is forced to room with Rom. But when the Nagus makes Maihar’du cry, Quark will risk everything to get Zek addicted to snuff again. Are we ever going to stop…
Resting Prophecy Face (DS9 S3E15)
Dec 3, 2018 • 66 min
When Cardassian scientists arrive on DS9 with a plan to communicate through the wormhole, it’ll take more than a Bajoran with a picket sign to stop Commander Sisko’s mission. But when prophecy turns into reality, O’Brien and the Cardassians must work past…
A Hundred Duck-Sized Odos (DS9 S3E14)
Nov 26, 2018 • 91 min
When Kira and Odo borrow a Starfleet runabout they get stuck doing Starfleet work. But when the mission turns into a crisis, Odo will have to decide if he believes Kira’s performance. Does Odo have a butt? Which side of the iron curtain is the best venue…
A Very Tough Kouign Aman (DS9 S3E13)
Nov 19, 2018 • 62 min
When an age appropriate love interest for Jake Sisko appears looking for a date, it’s love at first sight. But when the A story starts publicly humiliating the B story at the dinner table, the crew of DS9 is left stuck with the bill. Does the Kai have…
Not Purple Sports Car Success (DS9 S3E12)
Nov 12, 2018 • 88 min
When Ghosts and Gimme’s team up to take over the DMV, initially only the Dims will support their cause. But when the Defiant starts to drain its supply of time travel particles, the Chief rolls a three-sided dice. What are good demands when you’ve got…
They Found Him in Berkeley, They Left Him in Berkeley (DS9 S3E11)
Nov 5, 2018 • 70 min
When a freak transporter accident disappears Commander Sisko, Dr. Bashir and Dax, Chief O’brien is a little concerned. But when the away team appears at a critical time in the past, the death of a crucial historical figure has them scrambling to save the…
No Atheists in a Bajor Hole (DS9 S3E10)
Oct 29, 2018 • 82 min
When a couple of the crew welcome their long-absent lovers back, everyone’s favorite ambassador to hate crashes the festival. But when the polarity of the station’s boners is reversed, only the passionless Doctor Bashir can save the day. How much coffee…
Big Commander Energy (DS9 S3E9)
Oct 22, 2018 • 72 min
When the Federation’s most popular commander beams aboard DS9 for a little R&R, the crew believes he’ll be making the station his own personal Risa. But after he starts throwing the D around too aggressively, the most sensitive parts of the galaxy are in…
Mid-Brand Cigarette (DS9 S3E8)
Oct 15, 2018 • 72 min
While trekking in the gQuad, Sisko and the gang encounter a disappearing reappearing planet whose inhabitants Dax finds very bonable. But while her relationship with one of the locals flowers, back at on the station, Quark’s depravity takes a turn for the…
Pubescent Combadge (DS9 S3E7)
Oct 8, 2018 • 56 min
When Chief O’brien trips DS9’s security system, the station’s car alarm triggers a very hostile form of lockdown. But when the crew get covered in “buts,” they may have to collaborate with an unlikely ally. Are there ANY new poop euphemisms? Why would…
You Can Kill Them With Embarrassment (DS9 S3E6)
Oct 1, 2018 • 74 min
When a familiar purple haired lady returns to the station to fool Quark twice, he takes the bait and brings more than just shame on himself. But when part of the acquisition becomes Odo’s charge, the station’s safety will have to rest on the Lycine…
She Puts the Beige in Bajor (DS9 S3E5)
Sep 24, 2018 • 65 min
When Major Kira is given an unwanted makeover, her aestheticians give her the hard sell on accepting her new look. But when she begins to question their motivations, she’ll have to depend on those she hates the most to get her out of this mess. How do you…
Be The Industrial Mixer You Want To See In The World (DS9 S3E4)
Sep 17, 2018 • 82 min
When Jadzia whips out some treacly keyboard skills at a dinner party, she puts the Siskos in an awkward position. But as her life turns into a bad episode of Fool Us with Penn and Teller, it starts to seem like Dax may have forgotten more than just her…
Secret Silk (DS9 S3E3)
Sep 10, 2018 • 61 min
When Keiko quits her job, Chief O’Brien must throw out the manual in order to fix the problems in their relationship. Meanwhile, after Quark gets into a bar fight with a drunk, his punishment requires that he defend himself both physically and…
Remmick Levels of Intensity (DS9 S3E2)
Sep 3, 2018 • 85 min
When Odo finally discovers Planet Bucket, his curiosity takes the form of an interrogation of his goopy species. But when the rest of the gang returns to the station, they find the Federation negotiating a peace treaty that’s even worse than the one they…
Perplexing Volume (DS9 S3E1)
Aug 27, 2018 • 65 min
When midlife crisis Ben Sisko rolls up to the station in his brand new ride, he can’t wait to show the crew what’s so special under the hood. But when he invites them on a trip around the block with him to show it off, the feedback from their neighbors is…
It’s Like Her Hair Is A Cookie (DS9 S2E26)
Aug 20, 2018 • 83 min
When Nog and Quark barge into a Sisko family vacation, Jake insists they tune the radio to the Ferengi station. But when their Gamma Quadrant camping trip brings them in contact with two brand new kinds of alien, we set aside comedic things and head into…
Anachronistic Mustache (DS9 S2E25)
Aug 13, 2018 • 64 min
When Chief O’brien has his vacation plans derailed by the Cardassians, he goes from runabout seat to dentist’s chair in short order. But after his lackluster accommodations on Cardassia Prime are relayed back to Commander Sisko, it’s up to the crew of DS9…
Orb Refractory Period (DS9 S2E24)
Aug 6, 2018 • 69 min
When Vedek Bareil gets a powerful Kai Election, Kira gets fairly hot under the collar. But when Vichy allegations start getting tossed around liberally, the Bajoran Papacy might go to someone who can cause Keiko some real problems. How do you pronounce a…
Conspiracy (Plus Ten Years) (DS9 S2E23)
Jul 30, 2018 • 70 min
When Major Kira and Doctor Bashir get a flat tire while going through the wormhole, the nearest exit takes them to a place that looks like home. But when they arrive, they find O’Brien responding to his life in the same way he always has. What can’t you…
20 mg Gummies Throughout (DS9 S2E22)
Jul 23, 2018 • 80 min
When a headache seems more serious than normal, Garak’s traditional evasiveness begins to stand in the way of Bashir’s ability to keep him alive. But when the doctor goes on a B & E to help his friend, he may end up condemning the tailor to a life of pure…
Little Beef, Little Pork (DS9 S2E21)
Jul 16, 2018 • 68 min
When Calvin Hudson walks Commander Sisko through his plan to leave the Federation, his fugitive turn has implications that will last well past laundry day. But when Gul Dukat rides shotgun for the mission to bring him to justice, Sisko’s allegiances…
But Enough About My Butt (DS9 S2E20)
Jul 9, 2018 • 75 min
When Male-Pattern-Baldness-Barclay commits an act of terrorism, Station Commander Sisko hits the road with an old frenemy. But when everyone in the DMZ starts using cheat codes, loyalties are tested and well-treated prisoners are dying. What is Cal Hudson…
The Loaf Forgives All (DS9 S2E19)
Jul 2, 2018 • 62 min
When the Klingon chapter of the Dead Sons Club holds a meeting on DS9, Dax goes way back with some of the board members. But when the plan for the next meeting leads to a far away planet and a Scarface-like enemy, it forces her to choose between her…
The Sooner We End This Episode The Sooner I Can Stop Looking At You (DS9 S2E18)
Jun 25, 2018 • 69 min
When their brand new ship takes a lot of body damage, some radical Cardassians put in at the station for a buff-out. But when the pilot turns out to be an old friend of Quark’s, his interest in her becomes more than academic. What does Quark get out of…
A Really Remarkable Sign (DS9 S2E17)
Jun 18, 2018 • 62 min
When a new arrival is greeted on DS9, he is warmly welcomed by everyone except for the person he’s there to see. But when a rodent infestation starts kicking the crew’s butts, the issue becomes a problem for more than just the food service vendors on the…
A Real Haranguing or Banging Conundrum (DS9 S2E16)
Jun 11, 2018 • 80 min
When Dax and Odo find a techno-donut, it’s only the first clue in a very Star Trek mystery. Back on the station, Jake gets his first job and Quark tries to job Kira while Vedek Bareil tries to get a job of his own. Could Odo Riker an ankylosaur? Why are…
The Crystal Direction (DS9 S2E15)
Jun 4, 2018 • 63 min
When Sisko and O’Brien discover a crashed freighter on a desolate planet, they find the hat enthusiast survivors have formed a society around their unhinged leader. But when they discover that hotboxing is being used as a form of punishment, it’s up to…
Act-Drunk Adjacent (DS9 S2E14)
May 28, 2018 • 65 min
When O’Brien comes home from a security conference hosted by warring Gamma Quadrant aliens whose names are hard to remember, he falls victim to the classic dangers inherent to all Starfleet convention goers. But when his relationship with Keiko gets back…
Apropos of Nothing (But Sort of What We Were Talking About) (DS9 S2E13)
May 21, 2018 • 58 min
When an alien race that REALLY doesn’t like Shake Weights decides to liquidate their gym, Dr. Bashir and Chief O’Brien are there to help. But when those in charge want to change the scope of the project, it’s up to Commander Sisko to take a break from his…
We’re Really Luxuriating in this Maron (DS9 S2E12)
May 14, 2018 • 67 min
A doctor to whom Odo bears a striking family resemblance arrives on Deep Space Nine with a gift-wrapped mystery for his former lab animal. But when the team’s road trip to Planet Bucket unleashes a gassy banger, it’s not clear which member of the away…
Knuck Spanx (DS9 S2E11)
May 7, 2018 • 59 min
When the probability on DS9 gets out of whack, a new gambling hall across from Quark’s Bar may be to blame. But when O’Brien and Keiko start getting along, THAT’s the point when the crew becomes suspicious. How many liters of Odo are there? Does O’Brien…
One Horn Player Does Not Make an Artist Community (DS9 S2E10)
Apr 30, 2018 • 70 min
When frumpy refugees come through the hole, Kira has to stop finishing Sisko’s sandwich. But when the houseguests start threatening to extend their stay, Bajor is confronted with a potential avalanche of skin flakes. Is an opaque door the only thing that…
They Went to Jake Clips (DS9 S2E9)
Apr 23, 2018 • 61 min
On the anniversary of a significant event in Federation history, Sisko falls for a woman who keeps ghosting him. But after an awkward conversation at a dinner party, their fantasy romance goes nova. Is Jennifer Sisko reanimated, somewhere? Could a…
The Canoe Has Ridges (DS9 S2E8)
Apr 16, 2018 • 75 min
When Quark finds himself in a real film noir situation, it jogs memories with very muted colors for Odo. But when the case connects to events from the past, the sets get even smokier. Did Bajoran jewelers ever go through a modernist design period? What is…
Slickback Emeritus (DS9 S2E7)
Apr 9, 2018 • 69 min
When Quark brokers a deal with someone who has a severe case of “bad guy face,” he needs help from a coworker. But when Rom discovers what she’s been hiding under her bed, it forces Quark to choose between his moral and legal codes. Why does the promenade…
Chekhov’s Nose (DS9 S2E6)
Apr 2, 2018 • 76 min
When Dr. Bashir tries to give a new ensign “The Brahms Treatment,” he actually manages to charm her. But when she and Dax are taken hostage with Quark, she briefly turns her weakness into a strength. What’s the worst bodily substance in microgravity? Has…
Lennying It to Death (DS9 S2E5)
Mar 26, 2018 • 75 min
When a Cardassian boy bites Garak, it’s hard to blame him. But when Sisko and Bashir investigate further, their digging into the child’s Ancestry.com profile reveals some troubling facts w/r/t the “warphanages” on Bajor. Is the costume department…
We Get Worse in Both Directions (DS9 S2E4)
Mar 19, 2018 • 66 min
When Quark prays for bandits to take over the station, he gets more than a sticky gym sock. But when they come for Jadzia’s ankylosaur (anklyosaur?), the crew has to make fists with more than their toes. Are these Klingons seeking the right thing? How…
Limp Swagger (DS9 S2E3)
Mar 12, 2018 • 57 min
When the Bajorans seek to occupy Deep Space Nine, they arrive to find it nearly deserted. But when Sisko trusts the wrong messenger with the true nature of the coup, it’s up to his scrappy band of Jeffries tube rebels to fight off a legion of corduroy…
A Lotion for Everything and Everything in its Lotion (DS9 S2E2)
Mar 5, 2018 • 69 min
When a new first officer begins his career on DS9, the old one has a lot of emotional goodbyes to say. But when Quark is deputized by Odo, the mystery of What’s Even Happening gets blown wide open. Which Avenger is Jake Sisko reminding us of? Is Kira as…
Irish Wank (DS9 S2E1)
Feb 26, 2018 • 68 min
When an ex-investment banker is sentenced to hard labor in a resort town, Major Kira goes behind enemy lines to rescue him. But when the stories he tells the tourists don’t end up holding any water, it’s up to Bajoran leadership to decide whether to keep…
Space Butthole Curriculum (DS9 S1E19)
Feb 19, 2018 • 82 min
When a fundamentalist religious leader comes on board the station, Keiko inherits more than the wind. But when one of her husband’s wrenches goes missing, his work wife starts to keep him on his toes too. Who ate all the M&Ms out of the trail mix at the…
Loaf is on the Pillow (DS9 S1E18)
Feb 12, 2018 • 62 min
When a man with a mysterious past beams onto DS9 to see a doctor, the only treatment he gets are accommodations in the brig. But when the crew begins to doubt the person’s true identity, Kira must come to grips with what she really wants out of their…
Pins & Limp Thread (DS9 S1E17)
Feb 5, 2018 • 61 min
When a Klingon’s dying breath is to proclaim victory, the crew get dramatic about it. But while Odo becomes even more perplexed than normal about his colleague’s behavior, they’re cutting the phone lines and reenacting the death throes of a dying…
Cotton Candy Thundercloud (DS9 S1E16)
Jan 29, 2018 • 64 min
When Lwaxana Troi visits DS9, she’s not the only diplomat causing problems for the crew. But when Odo turns to putty in her hands, it becomes a moment of truth for the both of them. Are “social charisma” and “work charisma” different things? Does “picnic”…
Consensual Mornhammer (DS9 S1E15)
Jan 22, 2018 • 72 min
When characters from imagination and fantasy start arriving without a ship, it ruins bedtime for Deep Space Nine. But when llamas turn into bangers, the crew’s dreams turn into nightmares. Does Writer Salad make a filling meal? What’s Jake going to do…
Bajoran Gothic (DS9 S1E14)
Jan 15, 2018 • 68 min
When Nog and Jake inherit a boat load of a Cardassian condiment, they propose a deal where anything more than nothing should be a win. But as Major Kira oversees the construction (and then the destruction) of an out of the way Bajoran Pizza Kitchen…
A Troubling Amount of Knuck (DS9 S1E13)
Jan 8, 2018 • 73 min
When Sisko is presented with a perfect opportunity to redeem his reputation as a diplomat, he fails to recognize it for what it is. Meanwhile, Chief O’Brien is trying to keep a safe distance between himself and the doctor and failing miserably. How many…
A Box that Does the Work (DS9S1E12)
Jan 1, 2018 • 60 min
When Kai Opaka makes an unscheduled visit to DS9, Commander Sisko, Major Kira and Dr. Bashir take her off the station as soon as possible. But when their Winnebago crashes onto “Planet War,” one of them will be unable to leave. Do humans in the 24th…
Hesher Emeritus (DS9 S1E11)
Dec 25, 2017 • 63 min
When a pair of twins use their prominently placed keisters to smuggle an egg onboard the station, a deal brokered by Quark goes sideways and a man is killed. But when the prisoner shows Odo his necklace, the shape-shifter has a chain reaction. Is…
Heavy Lies the Lampshade (DS9 S1E10)
Dec 18, 2017 • 52 min
When an extremely droopy Tony Robbins convenes a group of Ferengi economic minds, scheming for profit in the Gamma Quadrant is their top priority. But when he chooses Quark as his successor, the bartender is thrust from his comfortable place behind the…
Vaguely Nutcrackery (DS9 S1E9)
Dec 11, 2017 • 56 min
When diplomats from the Gamma Quadrant head straight past a good premise, they wind up in Quark’s bar. But when the Ferengi act like Ferengi, the stakes are raised for the staff of DS9 in the worst way possible. Are the Wadi elves or sharks? Is O’Brien…
A Choice of Incompetence (DS9 S1E8)
Dec 4, 2017 • 52 min
When Dr. Bashir witnesses the death of a dangerous criminal, the officer in charge of his capture presupposes that…maybe he’s alive? But when a new lieutenant has some fresh ideas w/r/t station security, Odo struggles to ensure their working relationship…
Rura Penthe™ Brand Gavel (S1E7)
Nov 27, 2017 • 53 min
When some sneaky aliens decide to out-creep Dr. Bashir, they attempt to abduct Jadzia. But when the trial begins, it’s unclear if she’s an ankylosaur or a floor mat. Can Odo be Christmas Lights? Is Klaestron 4 a “mask and gloves” planet? How do you direct…
Achilles’ Ear (DS9 S1E6)
Nov 20, 2017 • 52 min
When Vash returns from the Gamma Quadrant with a sack full of toys, she brings back with her a person who knows when she’s asleep and when she’s awake. But when an auction for the quadrant’s hottest item starts causing bangers all over DS9, it’ll take…
Puts the Chew on the Other Ass (S1E5)
Nov 13, 2017 • 65 min
When the station encounters its first Gamma Quadrant alien, they send the handyman down to make First Contact. But when the alien’s pursuers show up, starfleet is forced to relax its policy about gunfights on the Promenade. Is #MeToo going to still be a…
Nurk Goatse (DS9 S1E4)
Nov 6, 2017 • 59 min
When the inhabitants of DS9 come down with a case of flop-sweat aphasia, O’Brien has to be thinking that the sexy part comes next. But when the word salad is followed by a deadly main course, Kira turns to kidnapping as a last resort. Does the Federation…
The Red Bucket (DS9 S1E3)
Oct 30, 2017 • 62 min
When a Barnaby lookalike gets a decidedly unhappy ending on the holodeck, Constable Odo becomes the prime suspect. But when the kids of Deep Space Nine use the distraction to do pranks around the station, it’s up to a very unlikely character to teach them…
A Real Meet Scary (S1E2)
Oct 23, 2017 • 52 min
When Bashir makes friends with a man who is obviously a spy, the subterfuge, like the tailoring, goes way over his head. But when 90’s hair Bajorans start importing suspicious cargo, the crew will have to take risks far greater than hiding in a changing…
Wormhole Ambergris (S1E1)
Oct 16, 2017 • 68 min
When a reluctant and somewhat recalcitrant Ben Sisko is given command of the worst neighborhood in Starfleet, a tone is set for a very different kind of Trek. But when the locals identify him as potentially playing a major role in their religion, the…
Vermeer as a Brand (TGG Retrospective)
Oct 9, 2017 • 66 min
When Star Trek: The Next Generation trots out its greatest ambassador for a special retrospective episode, it’s only fair that The Greatest Generation does the same. But when the hosts start arguing over the best and worst episodes of the series, it could…
Welcome to The Greatest Discovery (Bonus Episode)
Oct 6, 2017 • 44 min
The Greatest Discovery Episode 1: Oopsie-Daisy Murder When a precursor to the Argus Array gets a hole poked in it, the Federation sends its B-team: the USS SHEzhou. But when executive officer Michael Burnham pokes a hole in a nearby Klingon, the situation…
Greatest Generation Forever (S7E25)
Oct 2, 2017 • 80 min
When Captain Picard starts slipping through time, his sanity is called into question. But when Q shows up to blame him for the creation of a space-time butthole, Picard must unify the crews of his past, present and future in order to save humanity. Does…
It’s Like They Skinned Rowlf (S7E24)
Sep 27, 2017 • 73 min
When Lieutenant Ro is sent on a mission to infiltrate the Maquis, it’s just another late-Season 7 daddy-issues episode. But when the conflict between her loyalty to the Federation and her hatred of Cardassians comes to the fore, Picard doubles down on his…
Pizza Place Tough Guy (S7E23)
Sep 25, 2017 • 66 min
When a clump of crazy straws sets up shop inside the wiring of the Enterprise, the ship’s holodeck programs become self aware. But when the characters begin to endanger the ship, they attempt to take back control by playing by their rules. Who’s got time…
Young Liza Minnelli & Old Billy Eichner (S7E22)
Sep 20, 2017 • 55 min
When a mysterious probe delivers a holographic Daimon Bok to the Enterprise, it’s a revenge served lukewarm. But when Picard discovers he may have unknowingly sired a son, the ship drops everything to save the beautifully coiffed boy. Is “farmer” the most…
Butter Knife Bat’leth (S7E21)
Sep 18, 2017 • 59 min
When Worf and Alexander take a field trip to a Klingon renaissance fair, an assassination attempt is foiled, and an old family friend appears to help. But when Alexander decides not to go to Klingon summer camp, his mentors must face the possibility that…
Warp Salieri (S7E20)
Sep 13, 2017 • 69 min
When Admiral Nechayev comes aboard, Picard would almost rather be relieved of command than carry out her orders. The mission coincides with Wesley’s Spring Break, and he’s eager to do some sweet bong rips to get out of the funk he’s been in. Who’s the…
Four Octaves of Intelligence Range (S7E19)
Sep 11, 2017 • 49 min
When Worf fires a photon torpedo that goes off course, Picard and Data go on a road trip to retrieve it. Meanwhile, Dr. Crusher’s cure for Lt. Barclay’s flu ends up being a step in the wrong direction. How many arboretums are there? Is Nurse Ogawa’s…
Taking It Out on the Wall (S7E18)
Sep 6, 2017 • 65 min
When a nacelle engineer totally puts himself into his work, Worf and Troi are tasked with investigating the circumstances of his death. But when Troi starts displaying some similarly troubling feelings, it’s up to Worf to keep her from going over the…
Emphatically Vaginal (S7E17)
Sep 4, 2017 • 65 min
When Data’s attempt to become a sculptor coincides with the ship encountering a rogue comet, eldritch emanations from the heavenly body cause him to take his exploration of an ancient art form way too far. Now the Entrepreneur is in ruins, and the only…
Gruffness Quotient (S7E16)
Aug 30, 2017 • 60 min
When Data crash lands on “Planet Renaissance,” he starts performing feats of strength and sells dangerous cargo to the blacksmith there. Meanwhile, Counselor Troi studies for a test where her answers have life-threatening consequences. Who’s ever seen…
A Greek Chorus of Noxzema Commercial Kids (S7E15)
Aug 28, 2017 • 58 min
When Riker and Troi embark on a quarterly crew evaluation, four fresh-faced ensigns are pitted against each other to see who will get promoted, and who will be voted off the island. But when the Captain takes a special interest in big-dogging a familiar…
Leotard Conversation (S7E14)
Aug 23, 2017 • 72 min
When Beverly’s grandma wills her an erotic candle, her eye color isn’t the only thing that changes. But Troi and Picard grow increasingly suspicious when she starts dressing like an old. Is this mayor what would happen if the Dark Crystal puppets grew up?…
Any Pixel in a Storm (S7E13)
Aug 21, 2017 • 62 min
When Worf’s brother sends word of pending calamity at the Diet Mintakan planet he’s living on, the Enterprise is there to stand bravely and selflessly by as a young civilization is winked out of existence. But when Dr. Rozhenko sneaks some refugees…
Spit Roast Big Dogging (S7E12)
Aug 16, 2017 • 60 min
When an Admiral from Starfleet Intelligence comes aboard, the Entrepreneur has to cut its holiday celebration short. But Riker’s misgivings about the mission and the man leading it boil over when a terrible, and very un-Roddenberry secret is uncovered. Is…
Friends of DeSoto (S7E11)
Aug 14, 2017 • 56 min
When the Enterprise investigates a misaligned telescope on one of the great arrays, Worf begins experiencing some problems focusing. But when his issues at work spill over into his home life, his wife(!) helps him get back to where he belongs. Do amputees…
The Symphony of My Life is Flatulence (S7E10)
Aug 9, 2017 • 69 min
When a federation planet is a bit backed up, the Entrepreneur crew pull on their rubber gloves and get to work. But when one of the scientists starts insisting she’s Data’s mother, the mystery goes more than medium-deep. What’s the perfect can? Is this…
A Very Pronounced Headmouth (S7E9)
Aug 7, 2017 • 54 min
When the Entrepreneur goes on a search an rescue mission in a part of space with strange properties w/r/t fields, the situation gets hot in a global sort of way. A strangely loafed pair of siblings have gone Greenpeace on all local spaceships, and it’s up…
Prick For Prick (S7E8)
Aug 2, 2017 • 65 min
When Picard and Beverly are abducted and fitted for mechanical nubbins, they start to share more than a mutual love of breakfast. Back on the ship, an extremely paranoid ambassador is trying to build his own bat cave in one of the condos. Does this…
All Plenty, No Horn (S7E7)
Jul 31, 2017 • 57 min
When Lwaxana Troi drinks from a telepathic firehose, it gives her a wicked headache before putting her into a coma. But when Deanna Troi’s investigation results in the discovery of a dark family secret, she must find a way to escape the prison constructed…
A Murder Weapon Waiting to Happen (S7E6)
Jul 26, 2017 • 66 min
When a new Warp Core is installed, Geordi and Data spend a surprising amount of time on the phone with tech support trying to get it running. The stress really gets to Data, causing him to have bizarre nightmares. Is that super 90’s guy at the conn during…
Perfect Warburton (S7E5)
Jul 24, 2017 • 64 min
When Picard turns up alive, he “kills” Commander RIker before taking command of the pirate ship. But when the Enterprise puts Data in charge of the rescue mission, workplace conflicts arise for both crews. Is pain a good leadership style? Where does…
Foam Stone Holocaust (S7E4)
Jul 19, 2017 • 58 min
When Picard turns up dead, the Entrepreneur’s new captain is a vengeance-motivated Riker with total mission discretion. But it’s not long before Riker himself is captured, leaving the ship in Data’s capable, detachable hands. How much disbelief can this…
A Hat Under a Hat (S7E3)
Jul 17, 2017 • 60 min
When Geordi starts dabbling in virtual reality, his Batman costume makes it look a lot cooler than it should. But when what he experiences in the virtual world starts to have real-world consequences, he must choose between a dangerous mission and the…
Botany Babe (S7E2)
Jul 12, 2017 • 74 min
When a number of ambassadors for the athleisure movement come aboard, they pair off with crew members while the captain climbs in a suspicious shuttle to their homeworld. But when Picard’s shuttle runs right into a planet and he’s rescued by a space babe,…
A Fun Face for Science Fiction (S7E1)
Jul 10, 2017 • 76 min
When the Enterprise crew gets fooled for the tenth time by a kidnapped-and-taken-over Data, the skeleton crew left aboard the ship is their only hope. But when Geordi is subjected to “enhanced acupuncture,” their survival depends on rebooting Data’s…
Be Quiet, Grandpa (S6E26)
Jul 5, 2017 • 63 min
When the Entrepreneur investigates a trashed outpost, the Borgs return, and they’ve gone from suck to blow. Now the entire crew—and we mean the entire crew—has to go to San Diego to rescue their missing Android. Is Data’s combat program based on…
Trucker Hand (S6E25)
Jul 3, 2017 • 55 min
When Picard, Troi, Data and Geordi return from a road trip in a Federation RV, they discover that the show’s leitmotif of bad conference luck has befallen the Enterprise. But when they find their ship and crew buffering in space, it will take…
A Throbbing, Turgid McGuffin (S6E24)
Jun 28, 2017 • 59 min
When Lieutenant Riker finally gets picked up after eight years of perfecting his jack-kata in seclusion, he finds out that a perfect copy of him has been living his life, neglecting his girlfriend, and making choices in his career. Now the full-bearded…
Just For Mensign (S6E23)
Jun 26, 2017 • 58 min
When Worf tampers with a smoke detector in his quarters, he’s given a leave of absence to think about what he’s done. But after a DNA test comes back positive for “deity,” this new leader’s presence creates political problems for the Klingon empire. How…
Aggressively Flavorless (S6E22)
Jun 21, 2017 • 59 min
When Beverly loses her job as Chief Medical Officer, Guinan can feel the storm coming in her joints. The Doctor proceeds to Rashomon the story of her dismissal to the mysterious bartender, in one of the most peculiarly structured episodes yet. Did Dr.…
(A Man With) Very Suspicious Loaf (S6E21)
Jun 19, 2017 • 57 min
When Commander Riker’s mind is compromised on a dangerous mission, his jailers convince him that the life he knew aboard the Entrepreneur has been a fantasy. But when the firewall he’s erected to preserve his sanity begins to crack, Riker must keep his…
You’ll Know We’ve Reached the Bottom (S6E20)
Jun 14, 2017 • 65 min
When Picard’s archaeology mentor comes aboard bearing gifts, it gives him a bad case of career FOMO. And when the professor wraps his Previa around a tree, the captain feels compelled to use it as an excuse to avoid a potentially perilous conference. Is…
Planet Scorcher (S6E19)
Jun 12, 2017 • 56 min
When Captain Picard falls for a pointy coworker, the harmony of their relationship reverberates throughout the ship. But when things heat up on a nearby planet, Picard must make a choice between saving some lives and extinguishing their romance. What’s…
A Man, A Plan, A Barion Sweep – Entrepreneur! (S6E18)
Jun 7, 2017 • 68 min
When the Entrepreneur is getting sprayed for space bugs, the entire crew disembarks for a local planet famous for its incessant smalltalk and picturesque horse riding trails. But when a ruthless group of criminals try to steal the nastiest stuff that…
LoJack Worf (S6E17)
Jun 5, 2017 • 51 min
When Worf is taken prisoner behind enemy lines, he turns his incarceration into a Cool Hand Worf-type situation. But when the inmates start regarding their farm implements as the weapons they are, the warden increases Worf’s sentence…to death! Do Klingons…
He’s Not My Android (S6E16)
May 31, 2017 • 74 min
When alien technology and indigestion trigger parallel daddy quests for Data and Worf, one goes fully suicidal while the other goes full Rambo. All this is set against a tense backdrop of Captain Picard doing some aqueduct diplomacy and Dr. Crusher doing…
The Bell Curve of Mountain to Armus (S6E15)
May 29, 2017 • 77 min
When Captain Picard spills an awful lot of pasta sauce on the front of his uniform, the all-powerful Q gives him an opportunity to make out with his hot friend from college. Now he has to play a round of Would You Rather where the choice is a sword to the…
Li’lest Bɿeadbox (S6E14)
May 24, 2017 • 64 min
When Troi blacks out at a raging psychology conference, she wakes up having made some poor decisions the night before. Now she’s got to do a very dangerous walk of shame across the bridge of a Romulan war ship! Are the breadboxes the most or least kinky…
Pretty Rough for a First Timer (S6E13)
May 22, 2017 • 59 min
When the Entrepreneur investigates a murder at the end of a breakfast buffet line, a very small station has a very big problem. But when the deceased officer’s diary turns Geordi’s investigation into titillation, Commander Riker has to step in between “a…
He’s A Real Evil Boy (S6E12)
May 17, 2017 • 52 min
When the Entrepreneur’s holodeck tries going for a deep callback, the crew is once again facing a villain that can defeat Data. Now a man who should be inside the computer is wandering all over the ship and causing all kinds of trouble. Did Q steal that…
No Stranger to Terrible Implants (S6E11)
May 15, 2017 • 58 min
When Captain Jellico relieves Commander Riker of duty, his mission becomes finding the next best hot shot shuttlecraft pilot. (Unfortunately, that’s not Geordi.) Meanwhile, Captain Picard is subjected to a form of torture that many would find WAY over the…
A Reverence for the D (S6E10)
May 10, 2017 • 65 min
When Picard and the Entrepreneur crew break up, but he can’t move out for a few weeks, things get awkward. Meanwhile there’s a new captain aboard to Hackman the shit out of Riker’s Denzel. What is this mission anyways? How do you keep it 💯 with the…
Business Casual Station (S6E9)
May 8, 2017 • 54 min
When the Entrepreneur rolls up on a pretty basic space station, the crew attempts to gauge if the mining being done there is up to snuff. Unfortunately, questions about “what constitutes life” get in the way of their review, and Commander Data misbehaves…
Back to the Future-Level Breast Loaf (S6E8)
May 3, 2017 • 77 min
When Geordi tries to jump start the Entrepreneur with Data’s battery, it causes some glitches in Worf’s playthrough of Red Dead Redemption. Now all the NPCs are Data, and Data is all the NPCs, and nobody can find the reset button. How deep is the shallow…
Captain Potter (S6E7)
May 1, 2017 • 57 min
When a Previa containing Captain Picard, Ensign Ro, Guinan (and some other minor character) are transformed from the proud adults we’ve come to know into children, it becomes a great time for an enemy to hijack the Entrepreneur. Unfortunately, these…
The Deep End of the Pool (S6E6)
Apr 26, 2017 • 68 min
When the Entrepreneur’s new internship program is announced, the first participant is a brilliant orphan who fits right in. But when she starts showing off her I Dream of Jeannie impression, the crew’s most hated god-thing shows up to reprise his role as…
Munch Longevity (S6E5)
Apr 24, 2017 • 62 min
When Commander Riker can’t get enough sleep, his stamina for duty is called into question. But after having his arm swabbed for DNA by a bunch of lobster-handed aliens, the Enterprise crew decides to set up their holodeck for a CSI-style investigation.…
The Good Chills (S6E4)
Apr 19, 2017 • 55 min
When a dustbuster club gets on BART, they find one old rider who’s had some of his own Entrepreneur adventures. Now they’ve got to find a way to help this hopeless old fit in with their hip new ship. Where does the rubber meet the worldbuilding road? What…
A Funereal Disease (S6E3)
Apr 17, 2017 • 59 min
When an important diplomat and his mother hitch a ride to a peace negotiation, her hostility toward Counselor Troi is palpable. But when the diplomat uses Troi’s mind as his mental toilet, leaving the seat up is the least of her concerns. What attracts…
Legit Fangoria (S6E2)
Apr 12, 2017 • 55 min
When the Entrepreneur finds another broken down scout ship, Barclay’s clever plan to get over to the ship doesn’t go unpunished. Thrown into a paralyzing inner struggle, the only way the young lieutenant can confront his fear of being swept up in the…
Mad Pleating (S6E1)
Apr 10, 2017 • 59 min
When the Enterprise crew is hot on the trail of some inter-dimensional murderers, they can’t help but dress for the occasion. But when the second in a two part episode (which could really have been three, or only one) devolves into an incoherent mess, we…
The Manure is the Only Thing That’s Missing (S5E26)
Apr 5, 2017 • 66 min
When an overdramatic tour guide reveals a Data head at the end of some San Francisco sightseeing, the Entrepreneur crew is thrust into a tense temporal thriller. But before long, the tone shifts, and the show returns to its roots of daring viewers to come…
You Do Not Want to Get the Creams Confused (S5E25)
Apr 3, 2017 • 62 min
When Captain Picard is zapped by a probe from a long-lost culture, the bridge crew doesn’t try to move his body. But after he starts to like the soup within his hallucination, everyone starts to wonder if their captain will ever regain consciousness.…
Grief Procrastination (S5E24)
Mar 29, 2017 • 66 min
When the Entrepreneur pulls off the road to help a broken down Romulan ship, Geordi and Ro go missing. Now Data has to plan a funeral, and really only talks at length about that with Worf. How many breadboxes does one ship need? Who has the best orange…
You Don’t Name The Cow (S5E23)
Mar 27, 2017 • 58 min
When an away team finds the sad, sole survivor of a crashed Borgs ship, the Enterprise crew re-thinks whether or not they want to put an offer down on a property. But after Dr. Crusher nurses him back to health, Geordi develops feelings for him, which is…
Queen of the Slickbacks (S5E22)
Mar 22, 2017 • 55 min
When the ship drives some of its wheels over a wet lawn, things start to slow down. If that wasn’t boring enough, our focus is almost entirely on a couple of cherubic little girls running around sensitive areas of the ship. Why doesn’t Ogawa have a…
No More Lead in the Pencil (S5E21)
Mar 20, 2017 • 58 min
When the Entrepreneur makes an unscheduled stop on the way to a passenger’s destination, the diversion puts more than the ship’s 5-star rating in jeopardy. But when a giant Glassybaby in the cargo bay falls over, its contents prove to be irresistible to…
Mud Bath Nightmare (S5E20)
Mar 15, 2017 • 69 min
When some stripper glitter starts clogging critical ship systems, the Entrepreneur crew have a much worse problem to deal with—and she has kompromat on the show’s writers. In what way does this differ from Burning Man? What’s wrong with Adam’s chili…
Resting Grief Face (S5E19)
Mar 13, 2017 • 60 min
When Captain Picard returns to Earth to give a commencement speech at Wesley (The BOY?!) Crusher’s academy graduation, no one stops to consider what happened LAST time he was in the Terran system. Meanwhile, Wesley’s entire squadron is under investigation…
A Previa Dealership (S5E18)
Mar 8, 2017 • 82 min
When the Entrepreneur asplode, this one Sonny and Cher song keeps playing over and over again, and it’s giving Geordi a headache. The crew starts to become aware that there may in fact be a glitch in the Matrix, and the clock is ticking on coming up with…
The Husk Shot is Verboten (S5E17)
Mar 6, 2017 • 61 min
When the Entrepreneur finds an area of space that does not conform with the crew’s preconceptions, they aren’t sure which pronouns to use to describe it. They face a similar challenge addressing a race of people inhabiting a nearby planet, which inspires…
Didn’t Even Consider the Bangers (S5E16)
Mar 1, 2017 • 67 min
Worf’s run of bad back luck continues, and this time it’s a prognosis worse than death for the carpet-clad warrior. Now Dr. Crusher is desperate to stop another space Mengele from using Worf as a loafy Guinea pig, and Riker is disgusted with the Klingon’s…
The Polar Region (S5E15)
Feb 27, 2017 • 71 min
When the Enterprise responds to a distress signal sent by an ugly starship, they decide to rendezvous with it in a dark planetarium. But after their away team returns acting strangely they start a firefight in ten-forward, where no glass table is safe.…
Lipizzaner Stallions All the Way Down (S5E14)
Feb 22, 2017 • 61 min
When the crew forgets who they are, an extra voice is added to the mix, confusing even the most careful radio listener. The ship is running silent on a critical mission to take out a hated enemy, but when Picard gets an itchy buoy-floating finger, the XO…
Alt Biosphere (S5E13)
Feb 20, 2017 • 54 min
When the Enterprise crew tracks the path of some interstellar star trash, they discover a biosphere built inside an outlet mall. But when their genetically engineered population thinks about hitching a ride out of the way, Captain Picard has to decide how…
Hundred Proof Star Trek (S5E12)
Feb 15, 2017 • 78 min
When some aliens with very upsetting temple loaf hitch a ride, Troi wakes up in a coma after one of them forces himself inside her mind. Unaware of the crime or its gravity, the crew tries to figure out what’s causing senior staff to slip into comas one…
Thrift Store Data (S5E11)
Feb 13, 2017 • 60 min
When Data rescues the only survivor from a wrecked starship, his feats of strength are so impressive that the boy can’t help but want to be like him. But when his android burlesque goes deeper than just getting a new haircut, the story about what happened…
Male Pattern Loaf (S5E10)
Feb 8, 2017 • 63 min
When the Entrepreneur takes part in an exciting propulsion experiment, Worf is distracted by the demands that fatherhood has thrust upon him. His son Alexander is coming to live on the ship whether we like it or not. Is the scientist an alien, or just a…
A Big Fan of Scarcity (S5E9)
Feb 6, 2017 • 54 min
When a burlap clad professor from the 26th century pulls his doorstop up to the Entrepreneur, they take a detour from rescuing an imperiled planet to fill out his questionnaires. But when he starts taking the five finger discount on all the ship’s…
A Pun Hiding in Plain Sight (S5E8)
Feb 1, 2017 • 64 min
When Captain Picard finds Ambassador Spock on Romulus, he attempts to talk him into returning home before their next meal. Spock demurs, and instead chooses to visit a ramen place everyone’s raving about. Meanwhile, Commander Riker goes to a karaoke bar…
Fractionally Loafier (S5E7)
Jan 30, 2017 • 60 min
When Admiral TKTKTK gives Picard an emergency message, it’s news nobody wants to hear: It looks like Ambassador Spock is being a rebellious teen. Now the Captain and Data will have to go to Romulus to make sure there’s a chaperone at the party Spock went…
Werebear PTSD (S5E6)
Jan 25, 2017 • 54 min
When Commander Riker returns from holiday on Risa, he’s totally obsessed with playing “Suck Disk.” But when Wesley (The Boy?!) sees how dumb-looking the glasses are, he turns his sights on an age-appropriate co-worker instead. Which sexual subculture are…
A Tour of Bangers (S5E5)
Jan 23, 2017 • 56 min
When the Entrepreneur takes a smoke break in-between Uber missions, the ship is afflicted by some of the biggest bangers yet. The scattered crew have to do what they do best: solve problems that only crazy television writers could think up. What will…
The Pudding Button (S5E4)
Jan 18, 2017 • 53 min
When the glass pinecone that Data’s brother has been hanging around with makes an unwanted reappearance, it dashes Riker’s hope of post-curry coitus. Starfleet is quick to dispatch a rare old lady-scientist to debate everybody about the relative merits of…
The Shelby Treatment (S5E3)
Jan 16, 2017 • 56 min
When “The Bad Girl of Starfleet” beams aboard the Entrepreneur, the crew treats her like an outcast. But when a sneaky admiral assigns her a secret mission, her true nature is revealed. How do you get an appointment at Starfleet Supercuts? How does Guinan…
Hiding the Judd (S5E2)
Jan 11, 2017 • 58 min
When the walls fall at Shaka, Kiazi’s children’s faces get really wet. The beast is at Tanagra, but it’s anyone’s guess where Darmok and Jalad are w/r/t the ocean. Will Zinda’s face be black and his eyes red? Who, if not Mirab, is going to unfurl these…
The Phoenix Problem (S5E1)
Jan 9, 2017 • 56 min
When the Enterprise chooses the flashpoint of a Klingon civil war to begin the galaxy’s biggest game of Cat’s Cradle, Klingon Jake’s future in the empire is at stake. But when Captain Picard’s most dramatic “Apparently…” story comes back to haunt him,…
Love Those Puffs (S4E26)
Jan 4, 2017 • 59 min
Worf’s honor and civil war hang in the balance when Captain Picard is called back to Qo’nos to be a witness on Gowron’s ketubah. But there’s a not-so-sneaky Romulan sneaking around, and the Duras Sisters are eager to ruin the big jacket-putting-on…
Canadian Cute (S4E25)
Jan 2, 2017 • 55 min
When a workplace romance ignites between Data and a co-worker, the nebula they’re studying isn’t the only place where the fireworks are going off. But when dark matter starts getting flung at the ship, Captain Picard must arrange for a tow to get the…
That’s How You Grow Creepy Chickens (S4E24)
Dec 28, 2016 • 57 min
When Geordi gets Manchurian Candidated by Romulans, Data has to do a whole lot of research to uncover the plot, and we suspect that a Klingon ambassador might be from Shaolin Island. Is Deanna hitting on Geordi? Is Chief O’Brien the most potted of all the…
Confiding in a Blender (S4E23)
Dec 26, 2016 • 51 min
When Dr. Crusher falls in love with a gassy diplomat, her attraction only goes skin-deep. That doesn’t stop Commander Riker from attempting a sexual conquest that has, up until now, been strictly off-limits. How long are you locked up for Grand Theft…
Not Quite as Boob-y (S4E22)
Dec 21, 2016 • 55 min
When Lwaxanna Troi gets the hots for an alien scientist, she throws diplomacy out the window to chastise his species end of life practices. It’s a great deal from Picard who gets to spend a blessed episode out of her crosshairs. Why did the makeup…
More Labial Than Chihuly (S4E21)
Dec 19, 2016 • 54 min
When a non-OEM part installed during their last starbase visit leaves the Enterprise by the side of the road, the crew looks for someone to blame. But when the crew’s investigation moves a patsy into their crosshairs, it turns out that he’s guilty of…
Duke Gingersnap (S4E20)
Dec 14, 2016 • 44 min
When Captain Picard’s vacation fling comes aboard, his carefully cultivated facade of paternalistic authority begins to break apart. Then, instead of us getting a series of events exploring the ramifications of that, Q shows up and ruins everything. Which…
A Special, Weird Kind of Losing (S4E19)
Dec 12, 2016 • 59 min
When Lieutenant Barclay gets struck by lightning by an alien probe, he starts solving problems all over the ship. But when he starts sticking things into the computer that don’t belong there, it’s up to the crew of the Entrepreneur to unplug him. What is…
Pretty Chill for Assimilating Aliens (S4E18)
Dec 7, 2016 • 49 min
When Starfleet officers that five years previously were all on the same mission as Geordi start returning to the scene of the crime, disappearing crewmen is suddenly more than just a figure of speech. Now Geordi has to contend with the idea that he too…
It Isn’t Quite Spooky, But It Is Upsetting (S4E17)
Dec 5, 2016 • 46 min
When the Enterprise responds to a distress call sent by a ship full of dead bodies, what the away team finds over there keeps everyone up at night. But when sleep issues threaten to kill everyone on the ship, it’s up to Counselor Troi to find a solution…
So Zesty (S4E16)
Nov 30, 2016 • 45 min
When the woman who unwittingly modeled for Geordi’s favorite real doll boards the ship, the Chief Engineer is scrambling to understand why she isn’t as receptive to his romantic overtures as her lookalike. To make matters worse, an alien pot pie has been…
It’s Why You Join Starfleet (S4E15)
Nov 28, 2016 • 50 min
When Commander Riker gets injured on a first contact mission, his alien doctors examine all kinds of appendages they aren’t familiar with. But while making sure he recovers as fully as possible, the leaders of the planet must decide if they want to enter…
Buffalo Troi Voice (S4E14)
Nov 23, 2016 • 46 min
When the entire crew passes out after traveling through a wormhole, the evidence starts to finally persuade them that Data is the gravest threat to the ship that they face on an ongoing basis. Now Picard has to go all Dixon Hill on everybody’s ass until…
Rotten with Ziggurats (S4E13)
Nov 21, 2016 • 45 min
When “the devil” starts dropping bangers on an entire planet, it’s up to Captain Picard to help fiddle their way out of a terrible contract. Unfortunately, his attire is completely inappropriate for the occasion. How many ziggurats are right for an…
A Honda Del Sol-Type Starship (S4E12)
Nov 16, 2016 • 55 min
Now that we’re finally into the meat of the series, we can really start digging into what matters most about Star Trek: The Next Generation: O’Brien and Keiko’s weird marriage. Why have they never talked about what foods they like? What does the Chief…
Chiaroscuro, All The Way Down (S4E11)
Nov 14, 2016 • 50 min
When a Vulcan diplomat needs a ride into Romulan space, the Enterprise is her UberXL (if only to transport her giant Pope hat). Meanwhile, people are doing things that they think will make Chief O’Brien happy, with disastrous consequences. Is O’Brien in…
A Hat Big Enough For The Occasion (S4E10)
Nov 9, 2016 • 52 min
When Troi’s special power slips away from her, she wastes no time in throwing in the towel. It’s looking like the crew will need to get by with Guinan as the counselor. What’s up with communicator continuity in this episode? Is this the right bag to pack…
A Smattering of Loaf (S4E9)
Nov 7, 2016 • 49 min
When a twist beginning crash lands Captain Picard and young Wesley Crusher (The Boy?!) onto a desolate planet, the constant bickering drives the third wheel of their group to drink. It’s too bad Commander Riker is too busy taking out someone else’s trash…
The Fart Cave (S4E8)
Nov 2, 2016 • 65 min
When Riker inhales the wrong gas, his memory of the last sixteen years is wiped. He is the captain now, but he has no idea how he got there! Da fuq is Riker asking this turbo lift? Why is Worf so hunchy? Did they get that mask at the Halloween store? It’s…
The P’tachlin Group (S4E7)
Oct 31, 2016 • 58 min
When Worf’s ex-girlfriend beams onboard with the son he didn’t know he had, it starts to affect his performance at work. Their domestic conflict has to take a back seat in the storyline when a diplomatic conflict heats up between two factions warring for…
It’s That Tight (S4E6)
Oct 26, 2016 • 54 min
Tasha Yar’s estranged sister doesn’t just look like Sarah Conner, she’s the Enterprise’s only hope to help save some abducted crewmen. But her affiliation with the Confederacy has everyone on edge. Did these street gangs get their jewels from Logan’s Run?…
The Most Suggestive Instrument (S4E5)
Oct 24, 2016 • 48 min
When an old friend of Dr. Crusher’s bails on their plans, she thinks he might have fallen on the ship and can’t get up. But as her story begins to unravel, squints of suspicion abound from an unbelieving (and shrinking) Enterprise crew. How difficult is a…
The Gordian Sock (S4E4)
Oct 19, 2016 • 54 min
When the Enterprise crew finds a human survivor aboard a wrecked Talarian ship, the young man wants to be roommates with Captain Picard. Unfortunately, Picard’s quarters is filled with glass tables and a knife collection. Why can’t Picard recognize when…
You Never Go Full Clipshow (S4E3)
Oct 17, 2016 • 61 min
When an innocent prank puts a little boy’s life in danger, it’s not great timing for Data’s dad to hijack his mind, and by extension the whole ship. Things go from bad to worse when Data’s brother Lore shows up, and Soong is blinded to Lore’s fairly…
No Pathos in a Bowl Cut (S4E2)
Oct 12, 2016 • 51 min
While the ship is being duct taped back together after a certain ‘incident,’ the crew takes some time to dredge up grievances with their loved ones. For Picard, it’s his stridently conservative brother. For Worf, it’s his embarrassing parents. For Wesley…
The Hammer Loop (S4E1)
Oct 10, 2016 • 61 min
When Commander Riker fires on a ship containing Captain Picard, it’s finally clear why he passed up all those other promotions. But when facing an enemy who knows all his best moves, the newly-promoted Riker must resort to some unorthodox techniques to…
Nice Implants (S3E26)
Oct 5, 2016 • 56 min
When a hot shot young commander starts angling for Commander Riker’s job, it is fortuitous timing that Captain Picard gets kidnapped by the Borgs. The newly-promoted Riker plays it cool while doing everything he can to get him back, but when Picard shows…
Mount Knuckmore (S3E25)
Oct 3, 2016 • 54 min
When the Enterprise beams aboard the mysterious survivor of a space ship crash, it’s up to Dr. Crusher to nurse him back to health. But when the patient starts placing his “gifted hands” upon some of the crew, Captain Picard must decide if his crimes can…
Yub Yub (S3E24)
Sep 28, 2016 • 55 min
Send help! I’m trapped in a podcast factory and they’re forcing me to write a capsule for an episode featuring Ferengis AND Lwaxana Troi!
Kool-Aid Jacuzzi (S3E23)
Sep 26, 2016 • 44 min
When a legendary Vulcan diplomat starts acting strangely ahead of an important conference, the Enterprise crew chalks it up to old age. But when his brand of mental disability becomes contagious, glass tables around the ship aren’t the only thing in…
Nice (S3E22)
Sep 21, 2016 • 55 min
When a con man abducts commander Data, his only ways to pass the time are trying to smile and trying to sing to a hand puppet. The Enterprise crew’s only hope is to start taking Geordi’s conspiracy theory website seriously. What century has the best…
Magazine in the Woods (S3E21)
Sep 19, 2016 • 50 min
When a problematic engineer takes out his frustrations on the holodeck, everyone questions the protocol of recreating real crew members there. But after the ship’s glassware is threatened, the fragility of the rest of the Enterprise systems are exposed.…
Space Pinecone (S3E20)
Sep 14, 2016 • 49 min
When low rent Michael Rapaport comes aboard, the Enterprise finds itself in a race to capture a living starship that the Romulans really want. Will putting Rapaport on suspension stop the mayor from breathing down Picard’s neck? How big can a banger get?…
Captain’s Knuck (S3E19)
Sep 12, 2016 • 37 min
When Captain Picard needs a backrub, Doctor Crusher prescribes a vacation. Trouble is, the all-inclusive resort Commander Riker recommends appears to be “full service,” and the pages in his book aren’t spill proof. Can Picard go “chest to chest” with…
So, This Monica Lewinsky (S3E18)
Sep 7, 2016 • 45 min
When Picard is re-re-re-body snatched and replaced by an insane impostor, the crew goes through the same routine of misgivings-leading-to-mutiny that they always do. Meanwhile, the real Captain has to escape from space jail with a blue cadet, an ersatz…
Backyard Benihana (S3E17)
Sep 5, 2016 • 50 min
When the Klingon exchange program gives the Enterprise a very hostile second in command, it’s up to the crew to fall in line or risk being murdered in a turbolift. The new guy’s meatloaf looks familiar, so he and Worf take a trip to visit their old…
Android Splash (S3E16)
Aug 31, 2016 • 39 min
When Data has a child out of wedlock, the Captain is furious. But when an Admiral from Child Protective Services decides to come take away the bouncing baby android, Picard goes into full blown lawyer mode. What are Riker’s intentions towards Data’s…
Sinister Turtlenecks (S3E15)
Aug 29, 2016 • 46 min
When a butthole in space expels a version of the Enterprise from the past, the crew we’ve come to know are changed in ways no one can perceive - except for Guinan. In this alternate reality, the Klingons are eating the Federation for breakfast, and…
I Hate Manure (S3E14)
Aug 24, 2016 • 47 min
When Riker gets accused of murder, Picard fights his first officer’s extradition the only way he knows how: by putting together a few days of holodeck Rashomon. The situation gets dire when radiation starts turning the ship into Swiss cheese. Why doesn’t…
XXXL Merkin (S3E13)
Aug 22, 2016 • 39 min
When Q appears on the bridge naked and powerless, the Enterprise crew begrudgingly grants him asylum as they troubleshoot an Armageddon-sized problem for a planet in trouble. But as Data teaches him what it’s like to be human, one of Q’s old nemeses plans…
Wet Jerky 🍆🍆 (S3E12)
Aug 17, 2016 • 39 min
When Dr. Crusher is kidnapped while having lunch on a hostile planet, the Enterprise crew finds themselves in the middle of a dispute between outdoor mall architects and cave aficionados. It isn’t long before Beverly diagnoses the terrorists with a…
The Supersoldiers Have Come Home to Roost (S3E11)
Aug 15, 2016 • 44 min
When Rambo Jason Bourne in Space breaks out of a penal colony with a boring name, the Enterprise crew become U.S. Marshals. It’s a hard target search of the star system and the ship that turns up more than the locals had bargained for. When did Farmer…
Cuban Missile Crisis in Space (S3E10)
Aug 10, 2016 • 47 min
When a Romulan tries to pull a Hunt for Red October, Picard has to decide whether to take the Federation to the brink of war. When the guy gets on board, it really puts a cramp in Picard and Data’s rehearsal schedule. How hard is it for the Enterprise…
Pre-Enlightenment French Nobility-Type Poison Fears (S3E9)
Aug 8, 2016 • 42 min
When the Enterprise is dispatched to the scene of a tossed outpost, the crew must moderate a dispute between a group of rowdy professional wrestlers and their elderly grandparents. Captain Picard’s diplomatic strategy is to pour brandy and chill, but an…
Speaking of Feet (S3E8)
Aug 3, 2016 • 41 min
When the Enterprise plays host to a ‘hole’ auction, Riker gets in on the action, leaving Troi to be pursued by Lloyd Braun. It isn’t long before he’s creepily touching her hair. Is a deep vee and a male gaze the only sure way to attract 24th century…
Secretly Jacked (S3E7)
Aug 1, 2016 • 41 min
When the Enterprise drops off a Dustbuster Club on a planet besieged by plot-forwarding radiation, the away team loses track of Geordi and beams up an injured Romulan instead. Stuck in a hole and slowly going blind, Geordi’s fate lies with an ally who…
Slathered in Middler (S3E6)
Jul 27, 2016 • 59 min
When the ship gets stuck in some mud, Geordi is the only person onboard ship who gets put to work on saving the crew. Naturally, he makes himself a virtual girlfriend to help out along the way. Will Picard try to steal her like he stole Minuet? Has Chief…
Ghost Mom (S3E5)
Jul 25, 2016 • 39 min
When an away team accident kills a member of the Enterprise crew, it’s up to Captain Picard to deliver the bad news to the newest member of the orphan club. Their grief doesn’t last for long, because the fallen crew member reappears and promises a new…
Hella Conservative (S3E4)
Jul 20, 2016 • 49 min
When a cloaked observatory gets hit with a banger, the Enterprise needs to step on the gas to rescue some more gray haired scientists before the Prime Directive gets violated. On their arrival, the Enterprise crew just can’t help but violate it…
Space Weasel (S3E3)
Jul 18, 2016 • 40 min
When the Enterprise discovers the aftermath of an attack on a planetary colony, they become suspicious of the two elderly survivors shacked up in the nicest house on their block. These survivors also seem unusually obsessed with their landscaping, which…
One Terrible Element (S3E2)
Jul 13, 2016 • 55 min
When a race of Hefty bags wants to tarp over a planet with 15,000 humans living on it, the Enterprise has to consider taking them on a Kid Rock cruise. The only crewmember immune to the local radiation is Data, so he beams down only to find an obtuse…
Thinking About Baseball (S3E1)
Jul 11, 2016 • 50 min
When the Enterprise breaks down while conducting a science mission, Wesley (the boy?) is at fault. Unfortunately, he observes the Chaotic Bro code of silence, which forces the dumpy professor in charge of the experiment to take matters into his own hands.…
Terrible, Terrible Clip Show (S2E22)
Jul 6, 2016 • 74 min
When Riker gets some DNA in him, it’s not just from another romp on the holodeck. Unfortunately, the STD test comes back positive and it’s a race against time to save his life. Dr. Pulaski hatches a plan to make Riker re-watch episodes of the show that…
A Tat for Every Tit (S2E21)
Jul 4, 2016 • 39 min
When the Enterprise engages in war games, their opponent is the biggest WOPR of them all: Commander Riker. Unfortunately for Captain Picard, Riker’s team includes Ensign Crusher (the Boy?), and a threat from an unexpected foe. Who gave Picard a hickey? Is…
Level 69 (S2E20)
Jun 29, 2016 • 51 min
When unfrozen caveman Klingons are about to thaw out in a nice suburban neighborhood, Starfleet sends their sexiest emissary to try to talk Picard into a murder-based solution to the problem. Tensions rise when Worf can’t keep his cool around his lab…
Covered in a Fish (S2E19)
Jun 27, 2016 • 34 min
When the Enterprise goes on Uber-duty for a couple of fish people, Lwaxana Troi drops by for a visit. Then, things somehow get even worse when Captain Picard bails on the show and hides in the holodeck. Is Troi’s mom more destructive than Q? Is Pacifica…
Diminished in Ways We Can’t Even Imagine (S2E18)
Jun 22, 2016 • 40 min
When Dr. Pulaski covers for Worf, he returns the favor by showing her what sex is to him. Meanwhile, the ship rescues some Space Irish from some kind of Space Blight before heading off to find their long lost cousins. How dangerous is a Klingon toilet…
USS Dumpy (S2E17)
Jun 20, 2016 • 51 min
When the Enterprise answers a distress call from a ship full of Lennies, the crew’s instincts are to offer assistance. Unfortunately, the Pakleds pet Geordi a little too hard as he’s tending to their problems. Meanwhile, the captain and Wesley (the BOY?)…
Karate Stance Bean Flickin’ (S2E16)
Jun 15, 2016 • 55 min
Picard gets super salty when Q kidnaps him in a stolen Previa, but things go from bad to worse when the ship gets frisbeed into the path of the galaxy’s shittiest Rubik’s Cube. Does Guinan have the only locking door on the ship? Why are the Borgs so…
An Appropriate Mount (S2E15)
Jun 13, 2016 • 46 min
When the Enterprise explores a sector full of about to explode planets, the crew decides to put Wesley (the boy?) in charge. But when Data decides to turn the sensors on high, the results interrupt Captain Picard’s private “chaps time.” Is Worf in a death…
Klingon Bar Mitzvah (S2E14)
Jun 8, 2016 • 42 min
When Riker’s daddy comes aboard, his sexual magnetism finally meets its match. After a few days of bickering, it all comes to a head in an American Gladiator match that gives Code of Honor a run for its money in the racism department. What was Worf’s job…
Malibu Picard (S2E13)
Jun 6, 2016 • 41 min
When the Enterprise finds an IKEA shuttlepod floating in space, they (what else?) bring it aboard for a closer inspection. What they find inside is a very tan, extremely well-rested clone of Captain Picard whose body, unlike the original Picard, does not…
Pajama Bottom Dumpy (S2E12)
Jun 1, 2016 • 51 min
When the crew beams a big pile of ship aboard, they decide to beam down to a planet with a frozen fart-based atmosphere to investigate. The DustBuster club quickly find themselves trapped in a nightmare vacation to Vegas. Is Worf behind the lack of door…
Fleet of Dorks (S2E11)
May 30, 2016 • 41 min
When the Enterprise crosses the neutral zone to touch dongles with another Galaxy-class ship, it soon becomes infected with a computer virus that threatens to kill everyone onboard. But rather than “turn it off, then turn it on,” the crew troubleshoots…
Wesley’s Chick Magnet (S2E10)
May 25, 2016 • 40 min
When Wesley meets an age-appropriate romantic partner, Picard is put in a foul mood. To make matters worse, the Enterprise’s 5 star Uber rating is at risk. While Worf and Dr. Pulaski have both met their match in a mean old lady, The Boy is going on dates…
Data’s Reproductive Rights (S2E9)
May 23, 2016 • 43 min
When the Enterprise stops off at Starbase 173 for routine maintenance, Captain Picard reacquaints himself with an old flame hoping to JAG him off. But it’s courtroom drama instead of bedroom action on the docket when a hotshot commander threatens to take…
2 Chaotic 2 Bro (S2E8)
May 18, 2016 • 41 min
When Riker takes a temp position on a Klingon ship, it’s ironically the Enterprise that contracts a venereal disease. While the Commander is attempting to arrange an interspecies three-way, the ship develops a rash and uncomfortable discharge.…
Space Mengele (S2E7)
May 16, 2016 • 38 min
When the Enterprise encounters a ship full of dead seniors, their immediate concern is the smell. Their investigation leads back to a science facility where experiments in genetics have taken a dangerous turn, creating a race of non GMO-free people. How…
A Case of the Spaceys (S2E6)
May 11, 2016 • 42 min
When Data’s grandpa is diagnosed with an incurable illness, he doesn’t express much grief, and in return, his grandpa steals his body and makes a play at immortality. It would have been a perfect plan, but the old man was set in his ways, and really…
Dick Valet (S2E5)
May 9, 2016 • 41 min
When the Enterprise has to transport Ginger Jesus to a peace negotiation between some ersatz Klingons, his sexual super-magnetism is a distraction for some of the crew. Their 5-star Uber rating is seemingly in the bag until his cadre of helpers is killed…
No Joke Is Getting Out Alive (S2E4)
May 4, 2016 • 33 min
When the world’s shittiest Han Solo breaks down within hailing range of the Enterprise, the women of the ship are extremely hospitable to him. Meanwhile, Data is desperately trying to learn the secrets of comedy by playing the holodeck on fast forward.…
A Long Walk for a Dick Joke (S2E3)
May 2, 2016 • 32 min
When Data and Geordi get some down-time, they use it like no one else would: playing Sherlock Holmes on the Holodeck. But when Geordi sets the computer’s difficulty settings to “All-Madden,” Moriarty begins dropping bangers all over the ship, and has…
The Inbred Q (S2E2)
Apr 27, 2016 • 35 min
When the Enterprise finds a hole in space, nobody is more excited to explore it than Commander Riker, but after it envelops the ship, he (and everyone else) learns a powerful lesson about consent. Once inside, they’re faced with an adversary acting like a…
Worf Don’t Preach (S2E1)
Apr 25, 2016 • 39 min
When Counselor Troi becomes unexpectedly pregnant, the Enterprise crew has a ton of questions: “When did this happen? “Who’s the father?” and “How quickly can we abort it?” Troi makes it clear she’s keeping it, but there’s no time for a baby shower…
Five Dollar Carnival Guitar (S1E26)
Apr 20, 2016 • 50 min
When Data and Worf beam some popsicles aboard the Enterprise, the doctor thaws them out, which treats the whole ship to an unfrozen caveman legal drama. And that’s not to mention all the starbases and outposts that are being disappeared, presumably by…
Effectively Gross (S1E25)
Apr 18, 2016 • 52 min
When Captain Picard’s old friend sends him a “U up?” message in the middle of the night, it’s enough to send the Enterprise back to Earth to investigate evidence of a Federation conspiracy. There, the crew is reunited with some familiar faces: Inspector…
The Riker Collection (S1E24)
Apr 13, 2016 • 40 min
When Captain Picard’s fencing match gets cut short by a bad case of deja vu, the Enterprise crew is forced to grapple with his romantic regrets, not to mention a temporal catastrophe that threatens the entire quadrant. Their investigation leads to a…
Metamucil and Printer Ink (S1E23)
Apr 11, 2016 • 37 min
When Counselor Troi’s driver puts their shuttlecraft into a ditch on planet Vagra II, it’s up to the Enterprise to play the part of AAA. It’s just too bad that Armus is there, blocking their way and being a real jerk about it. Did Worf hedge his bet on…
Interplanetary Rubberband Men (S1E22)
Apr 6, 2016 • 32 min
When NPR turns us down for a Sunday slot, we turn our attention to the most egregious episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation that Nancy Reagan ever wrote. The Enterprise once again is playing host to squabbling aliens, but this time the shifty rednecks…
The Clearasil of Freedom (S1E21)
Apr 4, 2016 • 32 min
When the Enterprise is sent to look for the missing USS Drake, Commander Riker is stoked to meet up with an old friend of his from Degrassi High. Unfortunately, when an away team searches for clues on a nearby planet, they discover that ship and crew were…
A Warrior Is Coming (S1E20)
Mar 30, 2016 • 40 min
When the Enterprise discovers a busted up freighter in the Neutral Zone, they find the only surviving passengers are some Klingons who are far from neutral. These survivors follow the well known convention that any group of three Klingons have to have…
Chaotic Bro (S1E19)
Mar 28, 2016 • 35 min
When Wesley Crusher (the boy?) begins his Starfleet entrance exams, he’s got two things on his mind: overcoming his greatest fear, and overcoming a terrible Pee-wee Herman-style haircut. Meanwhile, on the Enterprise, Admiral Quinn and Lieutenant Commander…
The Takeover (S1E18)
Mar 23, 2016 • 38 min
Terraforming hasn’t had this big a PR problem since the Genesis Project! The Enterprise crew arrives at Valera III for a science lecture, but wind up mounting an investigation into murder most foul, with the chief suspect being a brilliant scientist…
Horn of Plenty (S1E17)
Mar 21, 2016 • 41 min
The Enterprise crew is excited to meet the mythical Aldeans until they propose a classic “children for information” exchange, but when Commander Riker balks at the deal they take some kids anyway. This is a real problem for Captain Picard, because Wesley…
Soft Foods and Laxatives (S1E16)
Mar 16, 2016 • 43 min
Admiral Mark Jameson has one last job before he gets out of the Federation for good: negotiate the rescue of some hostages from his arch enemy. Jameson’s just got one problem: he’s weighed down by tons of silly putty that’s been troweled onto his face.…
Going Number Three (S1E15)
Mar 14, 2016 • 41 min
When the Enterprise pulls into a starbase for some maintenance, the Bynars are there to help with some Holodeck upgrades - which Commander Riker is all too keen to experience first hand. Unfortunately, Captain Picard crashes his party, and it turns out…
This Isn’t A Plot, This Is A Holodeck Program! (S1E14)
Mar 9, 2016 • 32 min
Riker never had it so good when he and the away team arrive on Angel One, a planet of statuesque babes and feeble mini-men who could never fight in his weight class. But trouble is brewing as a handful of Federation citizens have shacked up with the local…
The Legend of Argyle (S1E13)
Mar 7, 2016 • 31 min
When the away team beams down to the charred ruins of a desolate planet, they find body parts strewn everywhere that end up belonging to Data’s twin brother, Lore. After assembling him they find out that like all pairs of twins, one is good and one is…
The Ultimate Redshirt (S1E12)
Mar 2, 2016 • 30 min
When Captain Picard has a big linguistics test to study for, he decides to procrastinate in the holodeck instead. Disappointing everyone, he chooses a program about a 1940’s-era private detective, so Data, Dr. Crusher, and a random crew member join him.…
The Bayless Connection (S1E11)
Feb 29, 2016 • 35 min
When Wyatt (the guy from the music video for “Take On Me”) beams aboard the Enterprise to marry Counselor Troi, Commander Riker realizes that he won’t “be gone in a day,” and it really puts him in a foul mood. It doesn’t help that Troi’s mother is getting…
Who’s The Big Dog Now? (S1E10)
Feb 24, 2016 • 30 min
When Q returns to amuse himself with the Enterprise crew, all hell breaks loose when he gives Riker his powers. Why doesn’t Riker immediately return to Rubicun III to make himself god of the Edo? Why does Geordi have to be so damn creepy? What is Worf’s…
You’re Welcome, Ladies (S1E9)
Feb 22, 2016 • 30 min
When Captain Picard abandons a perfectly good ship full of Pelican cases, the Ferengi are nice enough to return it to him. Meanwhile, he’s reminded of an old crime (which has nothing to do with Wesley), and gets a massive headache in the process. Finally,…
Rockin’ Knuck (S1E8)
Feb 17, 2016 • 35 min
When the crew takes shore leave on a planet inhabited entirely by late night Cinemax adult movie stars, it appears to be a bouncy, floppy paradise for the away team. Too bad Wesley (the boy?) learns the hard way about how much these people care about…
Fish vs. Dog (S1E7)
Feb 15, 2016 • 27 min
When Worf gets shocked working on an electrical panel, he learns a hard lesson about what happens when you try to do a union guy’s job. Meanwhile, a bunch of Cantina Aliens are exploiting the “no door locks” policy on the Enterprise. Later, Data takes up…
Generally Human (S1E6)
Feb 10, 2016 • 34 min
When the Enterprise crew throws the keys to the ship to The Traveler, he drives it farther out than its ever been before. That is not cool to Captain Picard, who wants to go home immediately. That bit of engineering would be a whole lot easier for The…
The A-Team of Away Teams (S1E5)
Feb 8, 2016 • 25 min
The Ferengi do an e-brake slide into the series (and into our hearts) after the show finally adds to the alien facial putty budget. Meanwhile Riker, having just read The Art of War, will not shut up about it. And when he grabs some alone time on the…
Gagh.biz (S1E4)
Feb 5, 2016 • 38 min
Tasha Yar inadvertently breaks up a happy marriage, then gets into a UFC-style fight to the death with “the other woman.” If that story isn’t intriguing enough, it’s also terribly racist! Also, why is everyone okay with kidnapping? Where is Worf? Finally,…
Ep 2: Drunk Shimoda (S1E3)
Feb 1, 2016 • 34 min
The Enterprise crew gets “space drunk” while young Wesley Crusher’s science experiment traps him and Assistant Chief Engineer Shimoda inside Engineering. Will the crew stop boning each other long enough to save the ship? Is the “scarf economy” real? Why…
I Don’t Feel Comfortable With Children (S1E1&2)
Jan 25, 2016 • 28 min
Our premier episode as we set out on our journey to watch every episode of Star Trek The Next Generation.