Table Reads

Table Reads

www.spreaker.com/show/table-reads_1
Bringing to life the scripts that Hollywood tried to deny you…


131 - Bill & Ted’s Friggin’ Badass Voyage, Part 1
Aug 10 • 75 min
Bill and Ted will face the music soon, but in 2007 they almost faced the threat of a reboot! Why the studio felt hat a new generation wanted a Keanu-free Bill & Ted reboot is anyone’s guess, but if you’re curious what was being considered back then, we…
130 - The Star Wars, Part 8
Jul 27 • 95 min
It’s finally the end of The Star Wars! Have you ever gone to write “Happy Birthday” or something as one line, and you start out with real big letters and you’re feeling good about yourself, and then you get toward the end and realize that you need a lot…
129 - The Star Wars, Part 7
Jul 6 • 80 min
There is some really unfamiliar stuff happening, but with familiar names! Like giant, slimy (but also hairy) creatures called JAWAS! Also, BERU turns up on YAVIN, but she’s some weird lady that lives in a futuristic tree hut. There are also WOOKIES, but…
128 - The Star Wars, Part 6
Jun 29 • 50 min
Strangely enough, with part six we kind of start understand what’s happening in this script! We’re not given new information or anything… It just sort of brute-forced itself in and we were able to see the overall story through the sea of pointless…
127 - The Star Wars, Part 5
Jun 22 • 63 min
As we head into the second half of the script, our heroes are still trying to escape Townowi with the royal children, droids and… uh, liquified scientist brains. They go to a familiar-to-us cantina where they meet up with someone who is going to help them…
126 - The Star Wars, Part 4
Jun 15 • 60 min
While George continues serving up a complex web of political intrigue to rival Game of Thrones, he throws in the most insane bonkers hard sci-fi bullshit we’ve ever seen… Like, for real, you will be ASTONISHED… Guys, it involves Brain smoothies. Yeah, you…
125 - The Star Wars, Part 3
Jun 8 • 66 min
We made it to part 3 of The Star Wars! This week, we have in store for you… like 30 more characters that have a line of dialogue or less, several colors of sky, and SO MUCH CHROME. Beyond that, there’s not much I can say about what actually happens… maybe…
124 - The Star Wars, Part 2
Jun 1 • 69 min
It’s part two, and we’re giving you more of everything you love about Star Wars; Political maneuvering! Debate! Senatorial grandstanding! The heroic lead punching a princess in the face! Dozens of characters introduced to exist for the duration of a…
123 - The Star Wars, Part 1
May 25 • 76 min
Years before he wrote Star Wars, George Lucas wrote “THE STAR WARS,” an epic Space Opera that has some words you might recognize but otherwise bears almost no resemblance to what we now think of as Star Wars. The story, goals and themes are completely…
122 - Sam Hamm’s Watchmen, Part 6
May 18 • 89 min
It’s the conclusion of Sam Hamm’s Watchmen, and it’s worth noting that this is now SAM HAMM’S WATCHMEN, because the finale bears absolutely NO resemblance to Alan Moore’s Watchmen and is, in fact, completely incompatible with the world that Moore…
121 - Sam Hamm’s Watchmen, Part 5
May 11 • 71 min
Nite-Owl and the Silk Spectre take to the skies in the most… written… blimp dogfight in history! BLIMP DOGFIGHT! You read that correctly! There’s also some hanky-panky (sans Leonard Cohen), some more Rorschach violence in lockup and, of course, a PRISON…
120 - Sam Hamm’s Watchmen, Part 4
May 4 • 75 min
It’s Rorschach’s turn in the spotlight! There’s action! Violence! A revealed Identity! Prison! Therapy! It’s everything you could want from an unhinged psycho vigilante backstory! Like this podcast? Hate it? Either way, give us a review on your platform…
119 - Sam Hamm’s Watchmen, Part 3
Apr 27 • 80 min
Learn about the origins of Dr. Manhattan! How did he get his powers? Answered! Where…uh…do his powers come from? Answered! What did his dad do for a living? Mentioned! Actually, the guys do more to inform you of the backstory of Dr. Manhattan (neé…
118 - Sam Hamm’s Watchmen, Part 2
Apr 20 • 82 min
Have you been listening to this just because you want to hear us talk about big blue dick? You sick pervert. YOUR WISH IS GRANTED! This is the episode where we’re introduced to a not-flashback Dr. Manhattan, in all his naked glory! And, look, we’re about…
117 - Sam Hamm’s Watchmen, Part 1
Apr 13 • 80 min
It’s 1989. Alan Moore’s Watchmen is a commercial and critical success. Batmania is taking the nation by storm, ushering in a golden age for superhero movies. So there’s only one thing to do: Hire the Batman guy to write a script for Watchmen… and hire…
116 - Batman Year One, Part 6
Apr 6 • 62 min
We have reached the end of our Batventure! While it’s tempting to tell you that this is the most bananas conclusion ever, the truth is that this final installment of the script sort of settles down. It’s still… weird… but it never again reached the insane…
115 - Batman Year One, Part 5
Mar 30 • 65 min
Witness the full, uncompromising power of the BAT-MAN, as he takes on the entirety of the GCPD, while hobos burn around him, like the most demented level of some rejected Arkham Asylum game! This episode is almost wall-to-wall action of the most…
114 - Batman Year One, Part 4
Mar 23 • 76 min
Having worked his way all the way to Gotham’s highest-ranking criminal, Bat-Man is shocked to discover that there is a deep conspiracy, and the real criminals are someone you’d never suspect! Unless you’ve ready any of the heavy-handed and childish…
113 - Batman Year One, Part 3
Mar 16 • 68 min
With the news somehow mistaking the TW left in criminal’s face’s by Bruces Signet Ring for a Bat, the decidedly un-bat-like vigilante is dubbed The Bat-Man! Donning his familiar…um…catcher’s mask… Bruce finally becomes the dark avenger of the night we’ve…
112 - Batman Year One, Part 2
Mar 9 • 67 min
Inspired by the televised heroics of Detective Gordon, Bruce the scrapyard worker set off to do battle with crime, by turning himself into a sort of crime honeypot! For the better part of an evening, he fights crime by beating up everyone that tries to…
111 - Batman Year One, Part 1
Mar 3 • 81 min
It’s time for Batman’s origin again. So, of course we’re going to go over the well-worn tale of Bruce Wayne being taken in by Sanford and Son and spending 15 years living in a scrapyard directly across the street from where his parents were murdered.…
110 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 11 (FINALE)
Feb 25 • 64 min
It’s the stunning (and overdue) conclusion to John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings! It’s been a thrilling and utterly weird 11 episodes, but we finally reach the conclusion of the greatest saga never filmed!Sam and Frodo reach Mount Doom while war rages at…
109 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 10
Feb 18 • 72 min
It’s the conclusion of the Battle of the Pellenor Fields, and Gondor has a new king! You’ll never guess who. Well, you might. After a full episode away from them, we also re-join Sam and Frodo and see what they’re up to… HINT: They’re not currently having…
108 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 9
Feb 11 • 66 min
Who wants some Battle of the Pellenor Fields? I hope it’s you, because that’s what this whole episode is! There’s death, and drama, and a new way to use horses! Do you like giant snakes? We’ve got that, too! Going into part 9 of a script is completely…
107 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 8
Feb 4 • 72 min
Sam and Frodo finally make it to Mordor, and we get the Battle of Minas Tirith! What an action-packed episode! Hell, there’s even a montage! And an army of the dead (guys, Jeff is so happy about that)!We also learn that the defense of Minas Tirith is…
106 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 7
Jan 28 • 67 min
As Frodo and Sam continue with Gollum toward Mordor, we’re reminded that in 1970, Gollum would have just been an actor in makeup. Stop reading this, close your eyes, and just picture an actor dressed as Gollum. In the movie makeup of 1970. Honestly, how…
105 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 6
Jan 21 • 74 min
We finally get through the Fellowship of the Ring portion of the story, as the aforementioned Fellowship disbands and goes on their separate quests.Frodo sets off for Mordor on his own, with Sam in tow and Gollum not far behind, while Aragorn, Gimli and…
104 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 5
Jan 14 • 62 min
Mourning the loss of Gandalf, the Fellowship has a sleepover with the elves, and Galadriel shows Frodo the full depths of the hospitality of the elves. All. Night. Long. Look, I don’t want to spoil shit, but that’s not a joke. Frodo literally bangs the…
103 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 4
Jan 7 • 80 min
The trials of the Fellowship continue, as does the abject weirdness of this script! There’s man-on-man sexy blood magic, cryogenic stasis, and everyone’s favorite part of the books, where the only way into Moria is for Gandalf and Gimli to engage in some…
102 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 3
Dec 31, 2019 • 74 min
John Boorman takes us through the history of Middle Earth, the Rise and Fall of Sauron, and the One Ring falling onto the hands of Bilbo Baggins, including the rich tradition of Vaudeville in Rivendell. Oh, you didn’t know that Rivendell is known for…
101 - John Boormans Lord of the Rings, Part 2
Dec 24, 2019 • 63 min
The Hobbits set off for Rivendell, for reasons that are never, ever made clear, and are pursued relentlessly by water-soluble bad guys! They meet an ally along the way, who literally pops up out of nowhere and who they follow for literally no reason at…
100 - John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings, Part 1
Dec 17, 2019 • 71 min
The start of any movie is where characters, themes and conflicts are established. There is a call to action, the establishment of the central conceit of the movie. It appears John Boorman skipped that part of screenwriting school. What we get here in part…
99 - Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, Part 8 FINALE
Dec 10, 2019 • 113 min
This episode is ACTION-PACKED… by which we mean that there are pages and pages of no dialogue… but the sheer level of bonkers in that action makes up for it! No exaggeration here: the insanity of this last part of Indy 3 is far in excess of all the…
98 - Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, Part 7
Dec 3, 2019 • 71 min
I know we’ve given you Nazi speedboats, machine gun arms, haunted castles and even a giant tank, but part 7 is where things really start to get silly! We’re talking distracted giant tank driving, African Mountain Sharks, golden cities and gorilla-people!…
97 - Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, Part 6
Nov 26, 2019 • 61 min
This whole episode is basically just the fight against the giant tank. BUT OH, WHAT A FIGHT! It has a Rhino! And a Ravine! And a bi-Plane! And a friendship tree! The giant tank sequence is basically the Death Star Trench run, but if the Ewoks were…
96 - Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, Part 5
Nov 19, 2019 • 66 min
As we re-join Indy, he is in the midst of a huge pirate battle in the Zambesi river. But that’s far from the most exciting thing to happen to Indy in this episode! Because we go from Pirates to the jungle, where the Nazis have unleashed a new weapon…
95 - Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, Part 4
Nov 12, 2019 • 57 min
Hey there. Are you looking for some exposition? WE’VE GOT IT! Are you looking for a bunch of Betsy hijinks? WE’VE GOT THAT TOO! How about some Pirates? Oh, we’ve fucking GOT THAT. Join us for Part 4 of Chris Columbus’ most notorious script, as Indy…
94 - Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, Part 3
Nov 5, 2019 • 67 min
Part three opens with Indy having just arrived in Africa, where he quickly meets an immortal pygmy, upsets some Nazis, and has to get in a speedboat chase in order to rescue that pygmy from those Nazis, lest he give Hitler the secret to his…
93 - Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, Part 2
Oct 29, 2019 • 74 min
As we continue reading Chris Columbus’ Indy script, we wrap up the Scooby Doo portion (which appears to have no bearing on anything to come), we get some bizarre Professor Jones hijinks before our quest is finally established, and yes, there is a fair…
92 - Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, Part 1
Oct 22, 2019 • 77 min
Before we tell you about the episode, you should know: We have launched a Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/TableReads — sign up for ad-free episodes, early access, live-streamed recording sessions and more!Shawn, Josh and Jeff are reading a pre-Last…
91 - Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman, Part 5 (Finale)
Aug 20, 2019 • 61 min
It’s the Finale of Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman script and, guys, it starts off in pretty much the dumbest way you can imagine, introducing the silliest aspect of the Wonder Woman mythos, and not even in a good or motivated fashion. Honestly, it feels like…
90 - Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman, Part 4
Aug 13, 2019 • 57 min
We were warned that this script got a bit icky, and this is the part where Joss finally endangers his Feminist Cred, as Diana is made less of a Wonder Woman and more of a Wonder Possession. And all for a man. For shame.If you’d like more, visit us at…
89 - Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman, Part 3
Aug 6, 2019 • 60 min
Steve and Diana arrive in Gateway City, where Diana faces off against Strife for the first time in what must be the biggest coincidence since that Venom goop randomly fell right next to Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3. Also like Spider-Man 3, there is a…
88 - Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman, Part 2
Jul 30, 2019 • 59 min
It’s part 2 of Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman and things have not gone too badly thus far…Diana establishes herself as a badass, we meet some proper villains, and a reporter is murdered by a train…dragon…skull…thing. Enjoy some fun screenwriting while you…
87 - Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman, Part 1
Jul 23, 2019 • 58 min
Shawn, Kelly and Joshua start reading Joss Whedon’s much-reviled 2006 Wonder Woman script! It starts off with a pretty straightforward Wonder Woman origin story and, honestly, there’s not much to be upset about in this first episode. Joss is a great…
86 - Gladiator, Part 6 FINALE
Jul 16, 2019 • 64 min
This is it! The stunning finale of Gladiator 2! And by stunning, we mean “wherein literally not a single thing that has been set up in the entire script gets paid off and the story is completely abandoned in the middle of what should be the climax in…
85 - Gladiator Part 5
Jul 9, 2019 • 69 min
As we reach the penultimate segment of our journey through… whatever this script is… we find that the unyielding resolve of the Christians is… pretty yielding, honestly. We get to spend some time with some pretty hip cats, get to stare at some people and…
84 - Gladiator, Part 4
Jul 2, 2019 • 59 min
Maximus reconnects with his son. Meanwhile, Lucius proves himself be a total douchebag. Meanwhile, Giraffes get a bizarre mention, and we find out that the pen is indeed mightier than the sword… in the most ham-fisted way possible. And in podcast news, we…
83 - Gladiator Part 3
Jun 25, 2019 • 63 min
Maximus continues on his quest to… something something Rome? Look, I’m sorry. This script makes no sense, has no structure, and was almost certainly written only during Nick Cave’s blackout periods. Trying to summarize what’s happening in a given episode…
82 - Gladiator, Part 2
Jun 18, 2019 • 67 min
This week, we’re diving further into Gladiator 2, the aborted attempt to resurrect Russell Crowe’s Maximus by having him… wander aimlessly through the afterlife? Find out how bad something as great as Gladiator could go wrong! And don’t forget to…
81 - Gladiator 2, Part 1
Jun 11, 2019 • 70 min
“Gladiator 2,” you may ask? — Yes, you read that right.”Didn’t the titular Gladiator die,” you may ask? — Oh, yes.”Who wrote this,” you may ask? — Nick Cave.”The musician,” you would be remiss not to ask? — The very same.”I loved ‘Red Right Hand!’ but…
80 - Preacher, Part 4 (Finale)
Jun 4, 2019 • 81 min
It’s the conclusion of John August’s Preacher script! We got through this in a brisk four episodes because, honestly, it was fucking GREAT! A really solid script deserving of the source material that should have made it to the big screen (though, perhaps…
79 - Preacher, Part 3
May 28, 2019 • 62 min
It’s the third installment of John August’s 2010 Preacher script, and we’ve got an Irish Vampire road tripping with a deformed youth, astral projection at a serial killer convention, Jesse and Tulip taken hostage, and something unpleasant going through…
78 - Preacher, Part 2
May 21, 2019 • 66 min
John August’s Preacher script moves into full swing as the titular preacher, Jesse Custer, takes possession of the entity known as Genesis, he and Tulip are reunited, we’re introduced to Cassidy and Arseface, and the Saint of Killers comes into play. It’s…
77 - Preacher, Part 1
May 14, 2019 • 64 min
While Kelly is sadly indisposed, Shawn and Joshua are joined by Jeff Lewis to read a genuinely good Preacher script written by John August.Gone is the normal snark and derision, as the gang just thoroughly enjoys an engaging and well-written script. So,…
76 - Shazam, Part 6
May 7, 2019 • 65 min
The FINALE of Shazam!! It’s been quite the journey to get here, but it’s worth it for what must be the single most bizarre ending scenes of any superhero script ever. Or, as this script would put it: THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SUPERHERO FINALE YOU EVER SAW.…
Ep 75 - Shazam, Part 5
Apr 30, 2019 • 68 min
Captain Marvel has his first super-powered smackdown. Billy Batson is revealed as the vulnerable alter-ego of Captain America through a combination of gigantic leaps of logic and miracle-level computer software (that comes pre-installed).Sivana pulls off…
74 - Shazam, Part 4
Apr 23, 2019 • 81 min
Sivana makes Magnificus a super-powered adversary to Captain Marvel!This movie says that ‘You’ll Believe a Girl Can Fall!’ — for, like 18 pages!We see just how much Captain Marvel sucks. Literally.Sivana kidnaps some billionaires, including Orphanage…
73 - Shazam, Part 3
Apr 16, 2019 • 72 min
The resurrection of evil incarnate! The power of the gods used to hustle at chess and play the MOST TEDIOUS game of baseball in film history! And if you think that Billy’ isn’t going to a “mature” movie on his first day with an adult body, YOU ARE…
72 - Shazam, Part 2
Apr 9, 2019 • 76 min
It’s part 2 of Shazam, so you know what that means! Captain Marvel [not the Brie Larson character -ed.] makes his big debut, allowing William Goldman to explore the sexual desires of a 15 year old girl for a man described as being 25! Ew!Aside from the…
71 - Shazam, Part 1
Apr 2, 2019 • 83 min
This is the first episode of the ALL NEW TABLE READS!With this episode, we welcome back Kelly Leviay as a full-time co-host and introduce Joshua Baker as a second full-time co-host in addition to show creator Shawn McBee, making Table Reads a 3 person…
70 - Termite Terrace, Part 4
Mar 26, 2019 • 70 min
It’s the Looney conclusion of Termite Terrace! You’ll find out what this has all been building to! Spoiler: think of the most groundbreaking and/or popular and/or revered cartoon character to come out of the Warner Bros animation department… IT’S NOT THAT…
69 - Termite Terrace, Part 3
Mar 19, 2019 • 76 min
Pete deals with the fallout from taking a movie starlet to bone-town, which involves the conspicuously-introduced Dot to cool to him… but not so much that they don’t still get married before this episode is over. And if you feel like that’s a spoiler,…
68 - Termite Terrace, Part 2
Mar 12, 2019 • 65 min
Our young hero Pete gets an opportunity to sneak a peek at a big-time actress for a cartoon, and ends up meeting a dame in the process. Yeah, that’s right, a dame… this IS the 1930s we’re talking about. The cartoon leads to some success and something…
Ep 67 - Termite Terrace, Part 1
Mar 5, 2019 • 68 min
Table Reads co-founder and YouTube’s own Looney Tunes Critic is back on Table Reads for the most appropriate script ever: Termite Terrace, the failed Joe Dante project that would have told the interesting tale of the birth of the Looney Tunes in probably…
66 - Six Million Dollar Man, Part 7
Feb 26, 2019 • 55 min
The stunning FINALE of Kevin Smith’s Six Million Dollar Man! The final confrontation between Klatch and our hero, Steve Austin… and the fate of the world hangs in the balance! Or so we’re led to believe. In reality, a script that is MUCH longer than it…
65 - Six Million Dollar Man, Part 6
Feb 19, 2019 • 71 min
After taking an extended hiatus to completely overhaul our lives, the studio and the show, TABLE READS IS BACK! We left you hanging in the middle of Kevin Smith’s utter masterpiece *cough* The Six Million Dollar Man, so we have picked up right where we…
64: Six Million Dollar Man, Part 5
Oct 3, 2017 • 73 min
Having faced off against the mysterious Klatch, Steve confronts the Old Man and learns the origins of Project Six Million, as well as the limits of his freedom.Needless to say, there’s a lot that doesn’t make sense. That’s where we come in. Oh, no, we…
63: The Six Million Dollar Man, Part 4
Sep 26, 2017 • 57 min
Alright, we’re back again for another read of this marvelous script! People die, secrets are exposed, and Cliche? Yea, there’s lots of that too. SUBSCRIBE TO THIS THING. And check out RogueIntel.com for other great podcasts. And remember: Where we’re…
62: The Six Million Dollar Man, Part 3
Sep 19, 2017 • 59 min
Who’d believe that we’re finally getting to the “Good” (Finger Quotes) part of the script…you know, the part where Steve Austin actually gets to enjoy his new body!Steve has a little fun, gets into a tight spot…and not unlike any other action screenplay,…
61: The Six Million Dollar Man, Part 2
Sep 12, 2017 • 56 min
Following the not-at-all-seen-from-a-million-miles-away tragic crash of Col. Steve Austin, he wakes to find himself a little the worse for wear, much in the same way that Anakin Skywalker was a little the worse for wear after his fight with Obi Wan on…
60: Six Million Dollar Man, Part 1
Aug 29, 2017 • 58 min
Meet Steve Austin, the non-wrestlingest test pilot in the world! And he know’s his fiancee! (They’ve spent some time together). How does he fit with robot-crushing, data-downloading ninjas? Um. Okay, you don’t find that out in this part. Sorry. BUT YOU”LL…
59: James Cameron’s Spider-Man, Part 5 (Finale!)
Aug 1, 2017 • 88 min
This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the end of the stupid James Cameron Spider-Man script from hell! It’s been a long, strange trip down megalomania lane with “Professor” Octopus, A.K.A. “The Real Spider-Man” and everyone’s favorite…
58: James Cameron’s Spider-Man, Part 4
Jul 25, 2017 • 72 min
In this, the penultimate part of James Cameron’s Spider-Man, Spidey proves himself SO BAD at maintaining his secret identity that even with a full face mask, his disguise is less convincing than Clark Kent’s glasses. Beyond that, Liz and Aunt May have a…
57: James Cameron’s Spider-Man, Part 3
Jul 18, 2017 • 76 min
As Halloween comes about at Empire State University, find out what the hot costumes are this year (1993)! Learn about J. Jonah Jameson’s amazing photo reconstruction powers! Find out just how little protection a cinched robe offers against gunshots!…
56: James Cameron’s Spider-Man, Part 2
Jul 11, 2017 • 68 min
Picking up after Prof. Octavius’ totally preventable lab accident, things kick into top gear as Peter finds himself tussling with the same spider that gave Ock so much grief and quickly discovering that he is a wrestler. Meanwhile, Doc Ock is in the…
55: James Cameron’s Spider-Man, Part 1
Jul 4, 2017 • 72 min
In 1993, James Cameron took a pretty decent script for a Spider-Man film, gave it his magic touch and then turned in one of the worst scripts ever written! In this first part, we meet a demented college professor obsessed with destroying the universe……
54: Roger Rabbit 2: Toon Platoon, Part 5 (FINALE)
Jun 27, 2017 • 81 min
It’s an action-packed finale as Roger, Jessica, Richie and a calvacade of Toons take on the Nazis and try to save the Allied leaders from a nefarious plot! Will we win the war? Will Roger and Jessica live happily ever after? Will Roger ever find his real…
53: Roger Rabbit 2: Toon Platoon, Part 4
Jun 20, 2017 • 64 min
In part 4 of the too-good-not-to-have-been-made Roger Rabbit 2: Toon Patrol, our brave, ink-based heroes (and their human friends) are fully engaged in war against the Nazis, fighting for love, and up against a nefarious plot to kill the leaders of the…
52: Roger Rabbit 2: Toon Platoon, Part 3
Jun 13, 2017 • 74 min
The 52nd Episode of Table Reads marks one full year of content on our show! (Please ignore how long it took to make it to one year… time is relative). This Anniversary episode, we see Roger Rabbit, his friends, and all the other Toons from Toontown join…
51: Roger Rabbit 2: Toon Platoon, Part 2
May 30, 2017 • 60 min
Continuing onto part two of the not-at-all-terrible-but-inappropriately-named Roger Rabbit prequel, Roger Rabbit 2, Roger and Richie become roommates and jump into the bustling Hollywood dating pool. There are acting auditions, chases involving angry…
50: Roger Rabbit 2: Toon Platoon, Part 1
May 23, 2017 • 76 min
In honor of Table Reads reaching 50 episodes, we have a special treat that breaks tradition: A legitimately GOOD script! That’s right, the aborted prequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, it turns out, is a genuinely good, fun read. But it’s our special treat…
49 - The Crow 3, part 6 (Finale)
May 16, 2017 • 92 min
It’s the shocking finale of The Crow 3: Resurrection (of the 80s)! That’s right, the late-90s homage to the best of 80s Cop Action Flicks Wrapped in a Crow Premise finally wraps up as we discover the secret of the bad guy’s plot, establish The Crow in the…
48 - The Crow 3, Part 5
May 9, 2017 • 62 min
Kato and his partner Sarah are finally reunited, but Kato is promptly taken away by men in white coats because no one believes that he’s part of a secret government agency under the direct purview of the president. Also, Lacking a Danny or a Kelly for the…
47 - The Crow 3, Part 4
May 2, 2017 • 69 min
We’re a little late posting this morning because, while everyone was worried about a writer’s strike causing a stoppage of quality content, WE were up all night following the news because we were worried we’d lose the awful garbage that keeps us…
46 - The Crow 3, part 3
Apr 25, 2017 • 68 min
The Crow 3: Die Hard and then Come Back for Revenge continues onto part three! Kato, still in a drooly, catatonic state, drools some more! The bad guys have a bad drug and a mysterious creature in a mysterious box! There are JUNKIES! And a mean HOSPITAL…
45 - The Crow 3, part 2
Apr 18, 2017 • 64 min
In honor of Easter, which was mere days ago, we continue reading The Crow 3: Resurrection (because, get it, Easter… Resurrection..?)!In Part 2, things pick up! There’s more than one scene, for one thing… That’s right, there are wedding bells, interrupted…
44 - The Crow 3, part 1
Apr 11, 2017 • 75 min
Happy Tuesday, Read Freaks! Today, we’re bringing you part one of a new Feature; The Crow 3: Resurrection, written by the very same guy that wrote such 80s classics as 48 Hours and Die Hard… Yes, DIE HARD. And, as if to prove he had written those movies,…
43 - A Sweet Kid, Part 2
Apr 4, 2017 • 49 min
We pick up with our drug dealer with a heart of gold and his mystery woman after they’ve gone back to her place for some… wine. We conclude Jericho’s tale and move on to talking about the origins of the project and what would have come next, before…
42 - A Sweet Kid, Part 1
Mar 28, 2017 • 62 min
Taking a break from pop culture’s greatest mis-fires, the gang turns to their own oeuvre, picking a script written by Jimie, based on an idea by him and Shawn. It centers on the kind of likable drug dealer that idiot screenwriters think exist. Smart,…
41 - E.T. 2: Nocturnal Fears!
Mar 21, 2017 • 62 min
Remember the light-hearted wonder of 1982’s E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial? Apparently, Stephen Spielberg didn’t when, that same year, he wrote a 9 page outline for a sequel, rife with child torture, alien abduction and overtones of intergalactic race war!…
40 - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, Part 8 (FINALE)
Mar 14, 2017 • 60 min
It’s been a long road, but we’ve finally reached the end. Welcome to the last installment of our reading of Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian!As Beetlejuice’s “Juicifer” rampage continues, Lydia, along with the Beatniks (ugh), the Deetzes and Otho try to get…
39 - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, Part 7
Mar 7, 2017 • 65 min
THIS IS IT! The moment you’ve all been waiting for! The PENULTIMATE installment of Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian!Okay, I know you’re really waiting for it to be fucking over, but this is the only way I can get through this, so let me have it, okay?ON THE…
38 - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian Part 6
Feb 28, 2017 • 66 min
Welcome back to the Deetz Paradise Resort, where you’ll find more than your typical allotment of beachgoing beatniks, fuckable cacti, and culturally ambiguous hawaiian witch doctors! This week, we tackle part 6 of Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian by Jonathan…
37 - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian Part 5
Feb 21, 2017 • 59 min
Trevor, Shawn and Kelly resume reading of Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, in which Jonathan Gems continues to prove how little he understands any of these characters, their motivations, the basic idea of the whole concept or even the art of screenwriting.…
36 - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, Part 4
Feb 14, 2017 • 74 min
It’s time to check back in with the Ghost With the Most™ as he once again is hired to perform a Bio-Exorcism of the Deetz family… but this time in Hawaii!It’s sure to be a fun— I’m lying. It’s awful. Just awful. Come join us in mocking the ever-loving…
35 - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, Part 3
Feb 7, 2017 • 58 min
This week on Table Reads, we continue our very-serious and respectful read of Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian with the gravitas it truly deserves. As Lydia struggles to overcome the burden of her tedious family, she makes friends with some beatniks, proving…
34 - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, Part 2
Jan 31, 2017 • 69 min
The Ghost with the Most is Back! …ish.Join us for Part 2 of Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian and learn what happens when the baddest Bio-exprcist to ever tame a sand worm visits a tropical paradise! That is, if the script can move the story along that far.With…
33 - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, Part 1
Jan 25, 2017 • 73 min
Okay, we promised you a new original script this week, but things didn’t work out with scheduling. So, instead, we bring you one we have been ITCHING to do!That’s right, the never-to-be sequel: Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian! Really, the title says it all. For…
32 - Streets of Amber SPEED READ!
Jan 17, 2017 • 32 min
The last Speed Read for a while (barring some unforeseen issue), we present to you what would have been a touching and thought-proving piece of drivel, had it ever been completed. This is another unfinished script by Shawn, who once again proves that he’s…
31 - Speaking of Quinn SPEED READ!
Jan 10, 2017 • 20 min
As we work diligently to get more full episodes ready for your voracious consumption, this week we’re bringing you another Speed Read… this time, it’s a script written by Shawn. Rather, it’s a script that Shawn got an entire PAGE into before abandoning.…
30 - H20 SPEED READ
Jan 3, 2017 • 23 min
Happy 2017, everyone! We’re still off for the holidays, so we have a Speed Read for you: A shorter script that comes in shorter than our usual episoides, just to remind you that we exist!This script is called H20, sort for Hollywood 20, the movie theater…
29 - Ocean Child
Dec 27, 2016 • 67 min
Trevor and Shawn are out of town for the Holidays, so we recorded some short subject, quick episodes to tide you over on such occasions that we’re calling Speed Reads. This was to be the first of them, but it ended up coming in at the length of a regular…
28 - Carnivore FINALE
Dec 20, 2016 • 62 min
Hey everyone, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the SHOCKING* conclusion of Carnivore! That’s right, it’s finally time to find out what’s going on with John and the soup kitchen, who’s for dinner and just who the Hell Rex Mundi really is. Strap…
27 - Carnivore Part 4
Dec 14, 2016 • 71 min
Welcome to the latest installment of Table Reads for the penultimate reading of Carnivore by the Wachowskis. Here, we see the script’s downward progression in quality and not-suck-itude continue, as… Okay, I don’t remember what happens in this episode. We…
26 - Carnivore Part 3
Dec 6, 2016 • 70 min
Okay, NOW things are getting good! Which, as you should know by now, means bad. This is the spisode where the script (Carnivore by the Wachowskis) gets pretty ridiculous. It is pretty great fun and we’re glad to have you join us for the fun. With special…
25 - Carnivore Part 2
Nov 29, 2016 • 67 min
Welcome back to part 2 of Carnivore by the Wachowskis… Part 1 was actually better than anticipated and didn’t leave too much room for mockery. But not to worry, Part 2 improves… by which I mean, worstens. Which is more fun! With special guest Jimie…
24 - Carnivore Part 1
Nov 22, 2016 • 66 min
It’s a NEW SCRIPT!!This week, we start reading the first, unfulfilled script by The Wachowski Brothers (at the time) Larry and Andy (now Lana and Lilly). The script is called Carnivore and has never been unleashed on the world… until now. Join us as we…
23 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 8 (Finale)
Nov 15, 2016 • 76 min
Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice was re-unleashed on the world this summer, in the form of an even longer pile of garbage, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been!To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from…
22 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 7
Nov 8, 2016 • 75 min
Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice was re-unleashed on the world this summer, in the form of an even longer pile of garbage, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been!To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from…
21 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 6
Nov 1, 2016 • 66 min
Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice was re-unleashed on the world this summer, in the form of an even longer pile of garbage, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been!To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from…
20 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 5
Oct 25, 2016 • 72 min
Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice was re-unleashed on the world this summer, in the form of an even longer pile of garbage, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been!To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from…
19 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 4
Oct 18, 2016 • 71 min
YES, I KNOW! It has been MONTHS since part 3! It started as a technical error and then…whatever, it’s here now. And the rest of the episodes for this script are scheduled for every Tuesday, as is proper and right. So you can enjoy the rest unencumbered…
18 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 3
Jul 19, 2016 • 63 min
Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice is coming out to own soon, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been!To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from 2002 that was meant for a 2003 release. There are some tiny…
17 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 2
Jul 12, 2016 • 73 min
Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice is coming out to own soon, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been!To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from 2002 that was meant for a 2003 release. There are some tiny…
16 - Asylum: Batman vs. Superman 2003 Part 1
Jul 5, 2016 • 71 min
Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice is coming out to own soon, so the time seems ripe to visit what might have been!To that end, we present Asylum: Batman vs. Superman! This was a script from 2002 that was meant for a 2003 release. There are some tiny…
15 - BTTF First Draft, Finale
Jun 28, 2016 • 69 min
Hey, did you know that Back to the Future was originally written in 1981, featured a refrigerator-based time machine, an organ grinder monkey named Shemp and a bonkers ending? It stalled out for a few years before being rewritten as the movie we all know…
14 - BTTF First Draft, Part 4
Jun 21, 2016 • 65 min
Hey, did you know that Back to the Future was originally written in 1981, featured a refrigerator-based time machine, an organ grinder monkey named Shemp and a bonkers ending? It stalled out for a few years before being rewritten as the movie we all know…
13 - BTTF First Draft, Part 3
Jun 14, 2016 • 68 min
Hey, did you know that Back to the Future was originally written in 1981, featured a refrigerator-based time machine, an organ grinder monkey named Shemp and a bonkers ending? It stalled out for a few years before being rewritten as the movie we all know…
12 - BTTF First Draft, Part 2
Jun 7, 2016 • 75 min
Hey, did you know that Back to the Future was originally written in 1981, featured a refrigerator-based time machine, an organ grinder monkey named Shemp and a bonkers ending? It stalled out for a few years before being rewritten as the movie we all know…
11 - Back to the Future First Draft, Part 1
May 31, 2016 • 59 min
Hey, did you know that Back to the Future was originally written in 1981, featured a refrigerator-based time machine, an organ grinder monkey named Shemp and a bonkers ending? It stalled out for a few years before being rewritten as the movie we all know…
Supplemental - Our new website!
May 27, 2016 • 1 min
Just a quick update to let you know that we have a new site at tablereadspodcast.com
10 - Ghostbusters, The Next Gen
May 25, 2016 • 38 min
After taking a prolonged hiatus to wrap up some projects, Table Reads is back with new episodes EVERY TUESDAY. (this one is a day late due to some technical difficulties, but from here on out, you can expect to be able to listen on your Tuesday morning…
09 - Urban Folktale Part 6
Jan 11, 2016 • 81 min
In our teen years, we wrote a short heist film that was later turned into a mopey teen angst NOT-Heist film. THIS is that mopey teen-angst not-heist film. It was the first feature-length screenplay we ever wrote and, guys, it stinks. BUT, this is also the…
08 - Urban Folktale Part 5
Dec 21, 2015 • 58 min
In our teen years, we wrote a short heist film that was later turned into a mopey teen angst NOT-Heist film. THIS is that mopey teen-angst not-heist film. It was the first feature-length screenplay we ever wrote and, guys, it stinks. BUT, this is also the…
07 - Urban Folktale Part 4
Dec 15, 2015 • 58 min
In our teen years, we wrote a short heist film that was later turned into a mopey teen angst NOT-Heist film. THIS is that mopey teen-angst not-heist film. It was the first feature-length screenplay we ever wrote and, guys, it stinks. BUT, this is also the…
06 - Urban Folktale Part 3
Dec 7, 2015 • 62 min
In our teen years, we wrote a short heist film that was later turned into a mopey teen angst NOT-Heist film. THIS is that mopey teen-angst not-heist film. It was the first feature-length screenplay we ever wrote and, guys, it stinks. BUT, this is also the…
05 - Urban Folktale Part 2
Nov 25, 2015 • 59 min
In our teen years, we wrote a short heist film that was later turned into a mopey teen angst NOT-Heist film. THIS is that mopey teen-angst not-heist film. It was the first feature-length screenplay we ever wrote and, guys, it stinks. BUT, this is also the…
04 - Urban Folktale, Part 1
Nov 16, 2015 • 47 min
Our last episode was a short heist film that was based on an earlier short heist film that was turned into a mopey teen angst NOT-Heist film. THIS is that mopey teen-angst not-heist film. It was the first feature-length screenplay we ever wrote and, guys,…
03 - Aftermath
Nov 7, 2015 • 68 min
For this episode, we jump forward several years to a collaboration we made when we were much more mature and wise in the ways of the world. …Only to remind ourselves that 19 is probably the least enlightened age ever, because you think you’re so damn…
02 - Highlander Part 2
Nov 6, 2015 • 60 min
It’s part 2 of Highlander: The Immortal Battle Continues! This episode has the backhanded honor of containing what MUST be the worst line of dialogue in the history of mankind. We timed it, and it had us laughing so hard at its terribleness that we…
01 - Highlander, Part 1
Nov 5, 2015 • 62 min
For our inaugural edition of Table Reads, we delve all the way back to our earliest collaboration when we were 15 years old: A Highlander Fan Film!And, yes, it is JUST as cringingly bad as you think it is! The script is only 16 pages long, but there was…