The Distraction Engine

The Distraction Engine
An Englishman and an American walk into your week
Guilty pleasures and E3
Jun 19, 2017 • 52 min
Matt and Steadman are joined by Heather Smith who was on the ground at E3, then the chaps discuss guilty pleasures
The Distraction Stream
Jun 13, 2017 • 60 min
The boys try something a little different this time… a video stream! Stay subscribed for more info as to how you can watch this ramshackle nonsense live every Sunday.
Matt is too young to remember the Amiga
Jun 4, 2017 • 31 min
Mark and Matt discuss Canadian tornados, British politicians, fear and video games.
Droppin’ some NYC
May 26, 2017 • 35 min
Steadman and Matt talk American soccer chants, American Gods and British hackers. We also answer the big question: is chilli considered Mexican food?
“Your work is not the worst” is the best thing to hear
May 21, 2017 • 31 min
Matt’s been playing PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds and Mark’s dropping an EP!
Mission update
May 14, 2017 • 16 min
It’s a sub-episode this week, featuring updates from Matt and Steadman re the challenge to avoid upsetting news via social media, as well a progress report on Matt’s book and some music news from Mark.
Baby Groot makes us feel everything
May 7, 2017 • 34 min
Mark and Matt saw Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2, and solve the cat vs dog debate, once and for all.
Luckily you only pooped your pants
Apr 30, 2017 • 35 min
The pair are finally back after a too-long hiatus, to challenge each-other to play weird games and discover new podcasts.
Christmas special
Dec 18, 2016 • 72 min
This week Steadman and Matt are joined by ghosts of guests pasts and future, in the shape of friends-of-the-show Marcel and Phil, plus Mark’s Brum Radio producer Paul. Get into the Christmas spirit with talks of crack-smoking tennis aces, the bongs of Big…
Shitty Terminator
Dec 11, 2016 • 56 min
Welcome to the show that knocks at the door of good taste, waits around and then hides in the bushes of easy puns. How to make a hot dog Dugtrio, as inspired by The Pokémon Cookbook Trump fans urge Star Wars boycott over reshoot claims Baby dinosaur’s 99…
The thing about fish ghosts
Dec 4, 2016 • 61 min
Welome to the show that got too distracted to write an intro. This episode begins with a fairly detailed description of a personal physical element, so if the ickier side of the human body disgusts you, a) perhaps you should be more empathetic, and b) you…
Oh Canada!
Nov 20, 2016 • 63 min
Welcome to the show that keeps you from doing that really important thing you need to do, for just another hour more. On today’s show we spy on some pixelated genitals, deliver pizza by aerial drone, and get offered sex for that sweet sweet queso. Man…
Just don’t be an asshole
Nov 13, 2016 • 59 min
Welcome to the show that tries to make sense of a very difficult week. In the news Seahawks player pleads with thief to return his beloved ‘Magic: the Gathering’ cards Lego ends advertising with Daily Mail after calls for companies to ‘Stop Funding Hate’…
Nov 6, 2016 • 63 min
Welcome to the show where we vote to elect who the podcast hosts will be for the next two years. On the left, we have something resembling a lamp, and to my right, what appears to be the remains of an orange. Headlines Man wanted over theft of £130,000 in…
Pot luck and patent trolls
Oct 30, 2016 • 60 min
Welcome to the podcast that sifts through all the news of the week, gets bored halfway through, and decides to make a sandwich instead. Headlines Barnes & Nobles’ list of the 25 Best Cats in Science Fiction & Fantasy Bye bye Vine Snoop Dogg and Martha…
Say anything
Oct 23, 2016 • 71 min
Welcome to another show, which these week features illustrator Sylvia Smith as its special guest. Headlines IOT DDoS attack shuts down big East Coast Internet sites A rock band are giving away the ashes of their deceased founding member with their new…
Happy slashers
Oct 16, 2016 • 75 min
Welcome to your weekly source for bullshit, bad jokes, and funny accents. Headlines In Kickstarter news: Holovect Brexit spells trouble for Marmite fans Samsung to power down all Note 7s Censorship in video game translation Free short stories offered at…
The Wizard Trumpgot
Oct 9, 2016 • 46 min
Welcome aboard the Distarctino Engine for another week. Headlines 4chan is out of Money! Reverend says his "spit or swallow" sign was not a sexual reference Luke Cage subreddit has a “Swear Jar” Facebook apologises for baby hedgehog Marketplace ads…
Giant octopus attacks podcast
Oct 2, 2016 • 59 min
Welcome to the show where this week, two Englishmen and an American walk into your week. On this episode, Steadman and Matt are joined by artist Phil Davis. Headlines Philadelphia 76ers become first North American sports team to acquire esports franchise…
Hotdog burger buns!
Sep 25, 2016 • 59 min
Welcome to the show that runs like a machine, if that machine has been sitting out in front of a trailer park for the last 13 years rusting away to lawn ornament status. Southend man asks tattooist for “that guy from the Jam” and it all goes horribly…
Boo this man!
Sep 18, 2016 • 55 min
Welcome to the show that takes the best stories of the week, chucks them in the bin, and rambles on about something else entirely. Headlines In soviet Russia, porn cracks down on you Every advert in a London underground station has been replaced with cat…
Surprisingly tasteful
Sep 11, 2016 • 54 min
Matt’s back, Mark’s drunk, so it’s a normal day in the office for the Distraction Engine crew. Don’t forget to check out Matt’s Book on Inkshares, and – to a lesser extent – Mark’s show on Brum Radio. Dozens of… Continue Reading →
We hate Carbide
Sep 4, 2016 • 47 min
We’re back after yet another unplanned outage, but this time with special guest, YouTuber Harrison Bulman. Headlines A hacker from South Africa just rescued the first NASA computer in space Japanese pensioner fights bear with karate Samsung’s recall of…
Hey DC, why you no make good movies?
Aug 14, 2016 • 57 min
Hello, and welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that just wants to be left alone for a bit and wonders if that’s too much to ask. Headlines Adidas robot factory coming to Atlanta Sword fighting Grandmother in India… Continue Reading →
Trump or Jesus?
Aug 7, 2016 • 67 min
Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that always strives to go “faster, higher, and stronger”. This week Steadman is joined by the Mizfit Geek, Frank Santiago. Remember For this episode only, the Distraction Engine is the official podcast of……
Jul 31, 2016 • 55 min
Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that likes you, but doesn’t like-you like-you, OK? Headlines Heatwave in Siberia is releasing Anthrax killing 1500 Reindeer and hospitalizing 40 people Council on the hunt for pranksters behind these funny park…
Get out of my birthday cake, Zack Snyder
Jul 24, 2016 • 65 min
This week Steadman and Matt are joined by Matt Dodd, of the Film Fights Podcast. Headlines SoftBank teams up with Honda to create a car that can read your emotions Drawing eyes on cow butts may ward off hungry lions… Continue Reading →
Banksy 4 Kidz
Jul 17, 2016 • 49 min
Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that doesn’t know the meaning of the word persiflage.
Catch ‘em all!
Jul 10, 2016 • 58 min
Welcome to the show you can only see through the screen on your phone and is currently jammed halfway inside the wall of a 7/11.
You dirty rat!
Jul 3, 2016 • 64 min
Rats save their friends, journalists change their ties and there’s something about those Chinese sex dolls!
DuckRace and Brexit – The worst buddycop movie
Jun 26, 2016 • 144 min
Coming up: the free trial of Earth has expired, so if we want to continue using it we’ll have to pay up, and stop those illegal ducks!
You can do anything at ZomboCom
Jun 12, 2016 • 44 min
An alltogether quieter show, with Matt recovering from booze and Mark recovering from the sun.
King Tut’s space dagger
Jun 5, 2016 • 42 min
An alltogether quieter show, with Matt recovering from booze and Mark recovering from the sun.
Dinosaur Lords
May 29, 2016 • 48 min
This is where reason takes a nap, discourse takes a ¬ong walk off a short pier and Mark takes another pull on his whiskey.
Ruh Roh
May 18, 2016 • 26 min
Welcome to the show that can’t quite remember how to do this, but is sure it’ll pick it up once it gets going.
Giant Robot Snake
Apr 24, 2016 • 55 min
Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that brings a microphone to a knife fight.
Funded or Frink?
Apr 17, 2016 • 58 min
Welcome to the show that knows there ain’t no party like a podcast party ‘cos a podcast party plays music that is similar but legally different to the tunes that one might play at a party that don’t stop.
Kaij┼ź vs modern architecture
Apr 10, 2016 • 59 min
Welcome to the show that carves itself delicately from a hunk on a stick and sits itself right down beside your salad-bar potatoes.
Poddy McPodface
Mar 20, 2016 • 44 min
Welcome to the show that takes 119.5 seconds to pour, is as nutritionally beneficial as a bag of iron filings, and does not ever expect to see a shamrock drawn on its head.
Brian the spider
Mar 13, 2016 • 52 min
Welcome to the show that dips the week in butter, fries it and places it between two doorstep-sized pieces of bread, but it’s totally OK because it went to the gym last week and is totally balanced, calorificly speaking.
Stolen dog beds
Mar 6, 2016 • 42 min
Welcome to the show based on a British format from the 70s, constantly breaks for fourth wall and isn’t afraid to throw its main characters under the bus. Or in front of a train. Spoilers.
Polish a turd for Richard the Third
Feb 28, 2016 • 48 min
Welcome to the show that chews up the week, rolls it into a spitball and aims it at the back of Monday’s neck.
Monkey with a knife
Feb 21, 2016 • 54 min
Welcome to the show that chews up the week, rolls it into a spitball and aims it at the back of Monday’s neck.
Lego is not a toy!
Feb 14, 2016 • 50 min
Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that - ooh look, a tweet - never gets sidetracked by - a kitten! - frivolous fripperies when it comes to putting - oh man that burger looks good - the shownotes together.
Feb 7, 2016 • 50 min
Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that won’t back down to legal pressures, and if it wants to say Superbowl, it’ll say Superbowl, and y’all can ease up off my nuts about it. Headlines Taxi drivers report ‘ghost passengers’… Continue Reading →
Who are you calling a gas giant?
Jan 24, 2016 • 48 min
Welcome to the Distraction Engine where we dunk marshmallows in cocoa, add just a bit of Grandma’s sauce to give it some pep, and hunker down until this whole “winter” …
Days like These
Jan 17, 2016 • 43 min
Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that, like the rest of the world, lost a bit of magic and wonder this week.
What next, flying cars?
Jan 10, 2016 • 46 min
Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that exposes the soft underbelly of the last seven days, and gives it a ruddy good scratching.
What has 2015 done for us lately?
Jan 3, 2016 • 65 min
We’re back; we’re finally back! Steadman and Matt return to regale you with stories and games from 2015 and beyond! Here’s some of the stuff we talked about:
Escape from the black hole
Nov 8, 2015 • 69 min
Matt and Steadman are back again, oddly enough only seven days after their previous outing, to make sense of the week’s events.
Catastrophic Blimp
Nov 1, 2015 • 51 min
Steadman and Matt are back once again after a week of absence, to pour molten shite down your earholes. Enjoy!
Game Recognise (Modded) Game
Oct 18, 2015 • 71 min
Here’s episode 3, not a week late because, as we establish in this episode, last week did not exist. Make sure not to miss the Swipe-Right Minute, and find out …
Nic Cage? Seriously?
Oct 4, 2015 • 47 min
In episode 2, our heroes get to grips with the week in nerdy news - with a little sport(s) thrown in - and hatch their plans to take on their …
Gettin’ piggy with it
Sep 27, 2015 • 54 min
A large glass of wine and a naughty dog join Matt and Steadman as they fire up the Distraction Engine for its inaugural voyage.