Dear Hank & John

Dear Hank & John
Hosts John and Hank Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (th

262: The Old Ramen Factory (Live in Carmel, IN!)
Oct 19 • 42 min
What’s up with roundabouts? What should my former foster grandpa name be? What are your weirdest stress coping mechanisms? What’s your absurd dream scent? What are your favourite non-touristy places in Indiana? What would happen if a werewolf went to the…
261: Not Pastable
Oct 12 • 37 min
Why is fire shaped like fire? What Halloween costumes work with a mask? Why do dumpsters all smell the same? How do I stop getting voting ads now that I’ve decided to vote? Will humans someday run out of dirt? Who had the idea for keys? Can you cook pasta…
260: His One Loamy Weakness
Oct 5 • 39 min
Why do superheroes fly with their arms out in front? Were my college expectations way off? Could we use space travel to look at dinosaurs? Should I feel bad about moderating my comment sections? Why aren’t shadows totally black? Hank Green and John Green…
259: Infinite Bird
Sep 28 • 39 min
Could the pandemic wipe out lice? What’s up with the “birds aren’t real” conspiracy theory? Do you think this will be over by the end of the year? What would human pet food taste like? Are birds pee-shy? How do I convince my partner that alligators aren’t…
258: A Really Old Cheetah
Sep 21 • 35 min
Will it be safe for my roommate’s rabbit to be on TV next spring? What do I pack for an evacuation? Did people make paper planes before the Wright Brothers? What’s the website you mentioned that had ballot information? Why don’t we hear animals fart? How…
257: There Eye Am (w/ Taha Khan at VidCon London!)
Sep 14 • 35 min
Why do different animals make such different noises? What’s the deal with Fahrenheit? How do I not invite all my friends to a gathering? Why is my hair darker when it’s wet but not underwater? Is snot me? What do I do with a lot of starfruit? Hank Green…
256: A Lonely Road (w/Jacob Goldstein!)
Sep 7 • 40 min
What is money? How do you not look suspicious when you find $60,000? How do I tell my friend I’m uncomfortable hearing brag about their salary? What do I do now that I accidentally turned my boyfriend’s sheets pink? How do you pick a car? How do I get…
255: Hello, Mr. & Mr. Green
Aug 31 • 39 min
What is “other” on my phone’s storage? How do I handle my life being thrown off track? What’s the policy on renaming a fostered fish? Are mushrooms a vegetable? How do I smile from behind a mask? Can I run through people’s sprinklers? How do I start a…
254: It Ain’t Easy Being Green Bunnies
Aug 24 • 37 min
How do eels reproduce? Why isn’t there green fur in nature? Is small talk a betrayal? Where do rights come from? What do I do about a late birthday present? What’s the name of our solar system? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you’re in need of…
253: Tensor Tympani Work With Me
Aug 17 • 36 min
How much paint does it take to make a room smaller? Why can’t we hear when we yawn? Are we always expanding the same way the universe is? Why does gatekeeping happen? Why is there an L on a hill in Missoula? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If…
252: A Comedy Podcast About Chemical Equilibrium
Aug 10 • 39 min
How do I handle my fear of megacryometeors? Why do bugs like lights so much? Where is John’s Edgar Allen Poe bust? How do I stay productive while recovering from surgery? Would fireworks work in space? How do you work All Star into your video titles? Hank…
251: 5 Seconds is 1 Mile
Aug 3 • 37 min
Where should I be during a phone interview? Do other animals get sick as often as humans do? What’s the time/distance correlation between lightning and thunder? What’s a rehearsal dinner? What do I do with really minor TikTok fame? What happens to…
250: Carl Yastrzemski’s Business School
Jul 27 • 38 min
How do I live the dream of not having a job? What’s the history of mouth cleaning? Do authors get to choose the font of their books? Why are piggy banks shaped like pigs? How do you feel about sibling comparisons? How finite is the atmosphere? Hank Green…
249: The Liverbird in the Room (Live at VidCon Now!)
Jul 20 • 41 min
Any life advice for a recent college graduate? If you put milk in a bowl of croutons, is that dinner cereal? How do I stay motivated to create? What have you learned about yourselves or each other lately? What should I do for graduation cap decorations?…
248: Nature’s Solar Panels
Jul 13 • 37 min
How do you greet multiple friends in different time zones? What are some other card games that scratch the same itch as Uno? Could I swim in the water table like a lake? Can I photosynthesize like a plant? If other animals didn’t already fly, would we…
247: Lobster Dream Hands
Jul 6 • 40 min
How do I learn to dance? Why do shirts have tags? Have you ever published a book under a pen name? Where did air quotes come from? How do you answer the phone at 2 AM? Should I be worried about entering the workforce if I don’t like meetings? Why do you…
246: A Hard Wet Sponge
Jun 29 • 37 min
What are some socially distant birthday strategies? Why do we refer to things as bone dry? Do all microwaves rotate in the same direction? Why haven’t we cured cancer? Can I appropriate abandoned office plants? Is it okay to drink tea from a coffee mug?…
245: We Are Held Together by Sunlight
Jun 22 • 39 min
What happens to viruses when they die? Is it possible to separate the art from the artist? Why did you guys talk about Al Gore so much in 2007? How do you retrain your brain? How do I feel confident in my abilities around older people? What is the statue…
244: screamingfrog.mp3
Jun 15 • 43 min
What could be in an audio file labeled “screaming frog”? Do you write with timelines in mind? What do I do with my grandma’s fruitcake? Where do I get a bunch of mosquitos? Do Americans just walk into people’s houses like on TV? What’s the deal with…
243: Either 8½ or 68 Million
Jun 8 • 46 min
How do I help my mom manage her depression? How do I address a professor who signs their emails with initials? What size boot is Italy? What is the most seen you’ve ever felt by a piece of fiction? What’s the best song to secretly learn on guitar? Has…
242: I Was Dunking a Basketball (Live in Atlanta, GA!)
Jun 1 • 38 min
How do I show non-consumerist appreciation for my mom? Is it better to be sticky or slippery? What’s your favorite chair? How do you get used to living in the cold? How do I deal with having an awkward screen name? How often do books get rejected by…
241: An Exhaustive & Exhausting Study
May 25 • 39 min
How do I wrangle a lot of crickets? How do I spend less time looking at screens? Is a paperback version of a new book worth the wait? What do I keep having recurring dreams about Nicolas Cage being my uncle? Can you sneeze underwater? John Green and Hank…
240: Mail Order Memes
May 18 • 41 min
How does the ozone layer relate to climate change? How can I communicate with my phoneless best friend? How many ants would it take to carry a human? Can I drink 4-year-old soda? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you’re in need of dubious advice,…
239: Does This Have Walnuts or Pecans?
May 11 • 41 min
How do I connect with my siblings? Why do some cereals falsely claim nuts? Is it okay to call a professor by their first name? Are coffee machines a kitchen necessity? How do I format a scholarship essay? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you’re…
238: The Meteor Men
May 4 • 39 min
Why don’t people paint their houses black? How do I deal with loneliness? What are some good triplet pranks? What are the Google Street View must-see attractions? What’s up with money? How much is one lock of hair? Where can I find a “Kirskagard” journal?…
237: A Well-Balanced Breakfast
Apr 27 • 40 min
Why have I become nocturnal? How do I write in a book? Where does the phrase “the high seas” come from? Which fruits are breakfast fruits? How do I help my mom appreciate art? How do I deal with negativity on social media? How big would googly eyes need…
236: Connoisseurs of Our Own Embarrassments
Apr 20 • 38 min
How do I stop being embarrassed by mail? How do I edit my grandpa’s book? Is it selfish to cry on your birthday? How do I live in a place with bugs? What is something that took you an embarrassingly long time to find out? John Green and Hank Green have…
235: Do Duck Stuff While Ye May
Apr 13 • 42 min
What happens to ducks when they die? Have you written your will? Why are things blurry even when my face is close to the mirror? What should I grow in my garden? What should I learn about? Can I hang out with ghosts while still practicing social…
234: I Know About Drowsy, Too, Buddy
Apr 6
Are the astronauts stuck on the space station right now? What crafts or books can I use to pass the time? Will books still come out on schedule? How do I paint something other than animals in dresses? What does “under the weather” mean? Do chickens go…
233: The Adventures of Yukon John and Glass Foot Hank (w/ Dr. Aaron Carroll!)
Mar 30 • 39 min
How do I convince my parents to take social isolation seriously? Can I social distance from the same room? How can I get to know my new town while social distancing? Are squirrels real? Should I tell my parents about the secret passage I found in my room?…
232: The Construction Paper Diploma
Mar 23 • 39 min
How do I entertain myself during a quarantine? Where is the center of the universe? Why are the letters on a phone keypad upside down from a keyboard numberpad? Should I stop talking to my friend because they don’t like The Mountain Goats? How do I cope…
231: Bouquet Trebuchet (Live in Raleigh, NC!)
Mar 16 • 42 min
Have you ever added a strange fact to a book? How does a teacher inspire their students? How do I figure out if NASA has aliens? Do lobsters feel pain? How do I focus on one book at a time? How do I keep my family from bringing a siege engine to my…
230: The Hot Love of Angry Pigeons
Mar 9 • 35 min
How do I stop losing forks? How do I handle my cat’s internet fame? What’s your favorite bird? How do I quit my job? What do I do when my job runs out of pasta? Why do some chairs have butt grooves? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you’re in…
229: You Don’t Know When the Sickness Is Coming (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)
Mar 2 • 39 min
Should I go to a concert if my recent ex will be there? How do book blurbs work? Can a two-person book club even function? How do I become a better writer? How do I entertain myself while stuck in a department store? Should I feel guilty about making less…
228: You Say Banana, I Say Banana (w/ Rosianna Halse Rojas!)
Feb 24 • 43 min
How do I cope with my unrequited love for Timothée Chalamet? Why have I started exclusively reading non-fiction? How can I both support and express concern for my mom’s world-class Candy Crush skills? What’s the expiration date on a frozen turkey? How can…
227: One-Star Statue Reviews
Feb 17 • 39 min
Where do I start with Star Trek? Where does water go when I turn the faucet off? Why does my nose produce more snot when I cry? Should I ask permission before I sharpen my roommate’s knives? How do I become less emotionally attached to a statue I don’t…
226: It Is the Monkey
Feb 10 • 40 min
How close is the sky to the ground? How do you keep the words that captivate you from slipping away? Is it okay to have doubts on the day of your wedding? Could I keep my spouse’s calcified heart on my desk? What do I do if I’m trapped in a car due to…
225: It’s a Hit and They Get Kicked (Live From St. Petersburg, FL!)
Feb 3 • 39 min
How can I find time to do all the things? If I smack someone with my lower limb prosthetic, am I kicking them? What is the oddest combination of food you’ve seen someone eating? What if I love something everyone hates? Did you ever consider throwing in…
224: The Octopuscene
Jan 27 • 39 min
What happens to balloons when they fly away into the sky? How do I record a video of myself? Who should you thank? Can bees feel happy and sad? When does the Anthropocene end? How do I get my boyfriend to take ghost travel seriously? What does Kindle…
223: All at Once for Everyone
Jan 20 • 40 min
What hobbies should I take up while my feet are broken? What would you like to come back as in your next life? Am I “just a teacher”? What is the proper response to a cheese burglar? What should I do about the snoring guy? Is there an American seasoning?…
222: Just a Man Who’s Lost His Dongle
Jan 13 • 39 min
What should I do with my art money? What do you do if you miss a flight? Are gas giants just tiny planets with big atmospheres? Why does my brain release endorphins for things that are bad for me? What should we do with the bird in the freezer? John Green…
221: Favorites of the 2010s
Jan 6 • 49 min
In this special episode of the pod, John Green and Hank Green discuss their favorites of the past decade! Topics include: Favorite bookFavorite poemFavorite dad jokeFavorite TV showFavorite tripFavorite songsFavorite sports momentFavorite Cheeto Guy…
220: Haunted Christmas Trees
Dec 23, 2019 • 37 min
Is it okay to go to your old house and ask if you can walk through it? How do you research? How do you interject in conversations smoothly? Can you unpickle a pickle? What should my rice crispy sculpture be? Can I enjoy religious music as an atheist? How…
219: How to Become Part Crow
Dec 16, 2019 • 37 min
What is the proper reaction to a canceled Shawn Mendes concert? When should I wear my fancy diamond gold pretzel necklace? What am I supposed to do with the urn my dog’s ashes were in? Why do hamsters like wheels? Why are there so few new Christmas songs?…
218: Hank & John’s Airport Stories
Dec 9, 2019 • 40 min
Why shouldn’t I take my temperature after I eat? Will my fingerprint grow back? How will COPPA affect Crash Course? Can my bottle of frozen water get through TSA? At what age are you supposed to use the money in your piggy bank? What are the noises that…
217: Rocks to Earth 2028!
Dec 2, 2019 • 37 min
Can stinging insects sting other insects? What is the scientific difference between stuffy and fresh air? Why aren’t there many books about twenty-somethings? When did limos become uncool? How do I survive as the fifth wheel at Disney World? How do we…
216: Zombie Turtle Party
Nov 25, 2019 • 39 min
Why do we say “head over heels”? What should I wear to a Mountain Goats concert? What is the best thing that happened during the 2010s? Do airplanes have horns? What is my boyfriend’s interesting news?? How much money would I need to donate to PIH to get…
215: The Big Card
Nov 18, 2019 • 38 min
Is it acceptable to put sugar on cottage cheese? Can a Ravenclaw wear Slytherin merch? How do I stop stressing about stress? How do we know what’s at the center of the Earth? Should British people get a constitution? Why don’t snow globes get moldy…
214: Crime Dentures
Nov 11, 2019 • 36 min
How do I make a film for dental school? What if my anglerfish doesn’t match my room decor? What should I do with a bag full of 1500 pictures of pregnant Harry Styles? Do I need to talk to my boss about the book they lent me? Can I zest a bit of lime at…
213: Baddy One Shoe
Nov 4, 2019 • 36 min
Why don’t we sink in sand? How do I not freak out about all the time I’m wasting? Do naughty people only wear one shoe? Why do microwaves rotate food? Am I up or down for whatever? My boyfriend doesn’t know who Elon Musk is? What would happen if we…
212: The Billionaire Cactus Ghost
Oct 28, 2019 • 40 min
What can I do with my cactus costume? What do you do when people you don’t know recognize you? Why are all the ghosts so old? Where do grownups keep their potatoes? Are there ghosts on Mars? How do I make my career choice not sound boring? Is climate…
211: You Can Tik Whatever You Can Tok, Baby (Live from VidCon Australia w/ Zach Kornfeld!)
Oct 21, 2019 • 38 min
What is the least dumb way to ask someone out? What’s your strategy for winning Seven Wonders? How did you start from nothing? If you can portray any celebrity in a biopic who would it be? Would you consider becoming a TikTok star? Why do birds? Zach…
210: Chest Moose Tattoo (w/ SciShow Tangents!)
Oct 14, 2019 • 33 min
What’s going on with microbes? What happens when an astronaut sneezes in space? Why do we have toes? Should I dress fancier? Why aren’t there drones on Mars? Do you get lighter every time you fart? What do I do about the poster I don’t understand? Why do…
209: Sword Dabbing (Live from Minneapolis, MN!)
Oct 7, 2019 • 33 min
How should I invest to survive a financial downturn? How often do I really need to change my underwear? Am I a bag? How do help seventh graders? Should we think about the 2D world? What are wedding planning tips? How do I stop imitating accents? How do I…
208: Speedo Minotaur Guy (Live from Madison, WI!)
Sep 23, 2019 • 37 min
Why is my instinct to hug my dogs too hard? If you had to move to Sesame Street, who would you want to be your neighbor? How do you know when the story you’ve written is done? Why was Halley’s Comet selected for The Anthropocene Reviewed? How does one…
207: The Still Escalators of Doom
Sep 16, 2019 • 36 min
Why are unmoving escalators so disconcerting? What do I do about the plant that died while I was house sitting? What should I tell people who think I’m moving to the worst place in the world? Should I tell my mom you’re still alive? What condiment would…
206: If You Can’t Put Your Mouth There… (with Andrew Levitt AKA Nina West!)
Sep 9, 2019 • 37 min
How should I act around my professor who is also my peer? Do the knobs on toasters control heat or time? How do I not get matching tattoos with my mom? Do you ever think about where all your hair is in the world? How can I be less judgmental? How should…
205: Piggy Bank Toughness
Sep 2, 2019 • 36 min
Should I call this strange number back? What have I missed on the pod? Why are your faves your faves? Don’t you need more than lemons for lemonade? How do I get the money out of this coin bank? Should I get bangs? Should I change my email address? Why do…
204: Quiet, Subdued, and Possibly Illicit
Aug 26, 2019 • 35 min
How do I make this flesh-eating bacteria sound safe? How do I tell my housemate not to get a crockpot? Am I as unlikeable as the character I wrote? Does my friend live with a ghost? How did conspiracy theories spread before the internet? Why are the…
203: Joy, Attention, Justice, Hips Don’t Lie
Aug 19, 2019 • 47 min
What do I do with 15 pounds of cornbread? Where do song lyrics live in our brains? Why are we here? How did people get answers before Google? How often should I vacuum? Do wedding pianists get anxious? When are my vegetable plants ready? Can I skip the…
202: Pants Clone
Aug 12, 2019 • 46 min
Where are the natural wheels? How do I make a conspiracy theorist understand that space exists? What are SEO tools? Should we market climate change better? Why are car horns so primitive? How do I confront my mortality compared to red curry paste? What do…
201: Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln 2020
Aug 5, 2019 • 43 min
Can a sentient statue run for president? How do I attend a show solo? How can I be bougie enough for art frames? Could Elsa solve climate change? How can I not be a sobbing mess on my wedding day? Should I make a new ring for my dad? What should I do when…
200: Only If You Got Enough Life Jackets
Jul 29, 2019 • 45 min
What is the setup for this joke? What’s with people waving from boats? Why don’t cartoons change their outfits? How do I tell someone I’ll be back but not RIGHT back? What is your self-care routine? How do I follow soccer? Where are all the Bob Ross…
199: The Best of Dear Hank & John #2!
Jul 22, 2019 • 40 min
Over the last couple years, John and Hank have bestowed upon the world some true gems of advice and anecdotes. We compiled some favorites in one episode for you to enjoy! We’ll be back with a regular episode next week, so if you’re in need of dubious…
198: No Ticket Out
Jul 15, 2019 • 43 min
What’s with birthday cake flavor? How do we know where we are in space? Are we the last generation of humans? Is it safe to shower when the power is out? Can I be a dyslexic nerdfighter? What do I wear to a pirate-themed wedding? What is the physics of…
197: It’s All About Empowerment! (w/ Jenny Owen Youngs!)
Jul 8, 2019 • 41 min
How do I promote myself? Are museums better explored individually or as a group? What should I do with memorabilia I don’t intend to display? What do I do when someone’s in my seat? How should Sincere sign off emails? Why do bugs die on their backs? How…
196: There Is Nothing You Are Not
Jul 1, 2019 • 40 min
How did they decide doorbells should go ding dong? How do I get my coworkers out of my personal life? Why does Hank have button-up jeans? How do you not worry that everything you write has been written before? What are the odds that I’m part pigeon? Why…
195: Fun with Bob and John!
Jun 24, 2019 • 46 min
What should I do with all these keys? How do I unrecommend a raunchy novel to my grandma? What’s a good psychology team name? What is the most effective way to pull an all-nighter? What should I call my girlfriend’s parents? Why are middle schoolers so…
194: Fortunately, They Are Not Carnivores
Jun 17, 2019 • 43 min
How do I advance past the waving stage of acquaintanceship? What does one do at conferences? My friend based a character off of me but the character sucks? How do I get in my house if I’m locked out? From where does a giant African land snail poop? Can I…
193: It’s Like a Pool of Liver!
Jun 10, 2019 • 45 min
Why do I cry more easily as I get older? What is SPF? What are healthy methods to combat loneliness? What should I do if I busted a hole in the wall while bonding with my sibling? How do I be less curt in texts and emails? Where does John consume his hot…
192: Raised on a Yacht (w/ Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft!)
Jun 3, 2019 • 46 min
Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft joins Hank to answer your questions! Has it ever not been raining? Can I change my major if I have a scholarship? Should there be compulsory voting? How do I learn to ride a bike? What is tipping etiquette in the US? When is it…
191: The Engagement Duck
May 27, 2019 • 43 min
What is the dress code if there is no dress code? Where can I be anxious at work? What should I do with 72 tall vases? How can I avoid having to do dishes? How can I grow my own vegetables if the Sun is in the wrong place? How do I sort out my priorities?…
190: The Top Three Best Things About Sneezing Underwater
May 20, 2019 • 48 min
How do I get people to remember who I am? What do I do about the Red Bull I spilled in a kid’s backpack? How do I deal with my girlfriend’s unaccepting parents? Does cold water boil faster than hot water? Which way should a staple face? Is it possible to…
189: Weird Statistics
May 13, 2019 • 48 min
Do a lot of people swerve? What constitutes black coffee? How do I make mac and cheese if I don’t have milk? What is the rage/luck relationship when it comes to pennies? How do I find out my therapist’s name? Should I give books to people who don’t like…
188: The Imperial Bridal March
May 6, 2019 • 45 min
What is the proper thing to do with abandoned table beer? What’s the best way to spend time on trains? How do I move on when my favorite show ends? How do I sleep in without waking up with a backache? Should I have played “The Imperial March” at a…
187: The Uncle Mike Way of Life
Apr 29, 2019 • 40 min
How do I fairly distribute my hugs? Could black holes suck up the Earth? How do I change the way I walk? How can I support my stressed-out dad? What’s the best way to receive negative performance reviews? What do I do if I vomit at work? Why don’t ants…
186: The Morlon Wiley Way In
Apr 22, 2019 • 42 min
How do you open an envelope? How do companies turn attention into money? What’s the deal with the itsy bitsy spider? And more! Get your signed desk sword!!! If you’re in need of dubious…
185: Time-Traveling Battle Axes
Apr 15, 2019 • 52 min
Who owns the bones? Why are American coins so confusing? Would dragon eggs have scales? And more! Follow us on Twitter! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at Join us for monthly livestreams and…
184: Lady with the Time Piece (w/ Helen Zaltzman!)
Apr 8, 2019 • 52 min
How do you deal with saying something wrong publicly? How far does a squirrel’s social sphere extend? Can I ask my friend questions about her surgery? And more! Thanks to Helen Zaltzman for being a temporary Green brother this week! Find more of Helen’s…
183: John’s Subway Safety Procedures
Apr 1, 2019 • 45 min
How do you stay focused on one project for a long time? Should I tell this stranger to examine their zipper? Are there other kinds of ketchup? And more! Follow us on Twitter! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at…
182: It’s All Hermeneutics to Me
Mar 25, 2019 • 45 min
Are our voices actually slightly deeper? What’s going on with paperclips? How do I keep out the chickens? And more! Follow us on Twitter! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at Join us for…
181: Comforting Existential Crises (w/ Jana Hisham!)
Mar 18, 2019 • 45 min
When are you too old to read YA? How do you get lost in a healthy way? Are there entire civilizations on the bottom of the ocean? And more! Check out Jana’s YouTube channel: This episode was recorded live at VidCon London 2019!…
180: The Bird Thunderdome (w/ Katherine Green!)
Mar 11, 2019 • 51 min
How do I win the bird hospitality battle? Are the keys part of the car? How do I get better at creative writing? And more! You can listen to more Hank & Katherine in Delete This! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join…
179: The Queen’s Dream Job (w/ Danielle Bainbridge!)
Mar 4, 2019 • 33 min
Should I pretend to dislike my sister? How do I not put too much pressure on my dream job? How much salt does it take to mummify a person? And more! Keep learning from Danielle in Origin of Everything! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at…
178: Snack Man! (Live at PodCon!)
Feb 25, 2019 • 45 min
How do I propose to my girlfriend if I can’t get down on one knee? How do I get rid of a bad nickname? Should I cause chaos? And more! This episode was recorded live at PodCon 2 in Seattle, WA. If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at…
177: Gum Influencers
Feb 18, 2019 • 49 min
How do I know if I’m being a know-it-all? How do we survive the 2020 presidential election? At what point does a flying fish become a swimming bird? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly…
176: The Celebrity Life Coaches of Your Dreams
Feb 11, 2019 • 51 min
Should penguins go to Mars? Why do we chew rubber? Is this frantic, indecisive squirrel okay? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at…
175: Burn It All!!!!
Feb 4, 2019 • 43 min
What should I put in my journal? Should I sign a card for someone I don’t know? What do I do when strangers tell me my shoes are untied? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and…
174: The Mysterious “Stolen” Car
Jan 28, 2019 • 48 min
Am I too old to race down hotel hallways? Is there a stranger in my attic? How do you make plans with a subgroup of friends? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive…
173: My Ghost Date, Timothy
Jan 21, 2019 • 53 min
What should I do at prom by myself? Can ghosts ride in cars? How do you end a voicemail? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at…
172: Get in Touch with Your Glitter Side
Jan 14, 2019 • 42 min
How do I stop receiving so many Peeps? Why do I have to sneeze immediately after I put on mascara? How do I use a bus? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive…
171: Our Pasta-Making Robot Overlords
Jan 7, 2019 • 44 min
What do I do when all my friends hang out without me? Are beans basically small potatoes? How do you smuggle a swan internationally? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an…
170: You Can Trust Us, We’re Aliens
Dec 31, 2018 • 41 min
How do I teach a class I know almost nothing about? What if humans had tails? Why can’t you walk through a drive-through? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive…
169: A Perpetual Christmas Civilization That Orbits the Sun
Dec 24, 2018 • 43 min
Why do we put people on pedestals? How can I get better at mornings? What should I hide under the floorboards? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly…
168: All of Them, Including LinkedIn
Dec 17, 2018 • 45 min
Where did all the websites go? How do you solve a problem like Maria? What’s my brand? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and The…
167: A Song Called Shhh
Dec 10, 2018 • 48 min
What should I do about the accordion player outside? Should I take a trip to a strange city by myself? How do I get in the secular Christmas spirit? And more! There are still perks available on the Project for Awesome Indiegogo! Get yours at…
166: Do Not Enter the Secret Room
Dec 3, 2018 • 43 min
Why are human babies so useless? What’s with Ohio’s salad crackers? Why can’t I use an umbrella in the snow? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network,…
165: We’re Gonna Make It
Nov 26, 2018 • 50 min
What would it feel like to be microwaved? How do I get my dad to chill on Facebook? How do I confront my roommate about the ferret oatmeal baths? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Check out our other…
164: The Kurt Vonnegut Special
Nov 19, 2018 • 45 min
How much money should I ask for? How do I talk to my crush? Will climate change make mountains shorter? And more! If you’re in need of dubious advice, email us at! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow…
163: A Man’s Man’s Guide to Potassium
Nov 12, 2018 • 40 min
How do I convince my boyfriend not to grow a mullet? What do I do with this small, hot towel? Should I destroy my sad friend in Words with Friends? John and Hank have answers to this and more! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network,…
Hello from Hank and John!
Nov 8, 2018
Hosts Hank and John Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the…
162: The Fault in Our Mars
Nov 5, 2018 • 53 min
What tricks can babies do? Should I become a space lawyer? Did I let a guy steal my car? And more! Email us:
161: Your Dabbing Uncle Hank
Oct 29, 2018 • 50 min
At what point do I fail? What should I do while I’m waiting to be sawed in half? Should I eat the fungus? And more! Email us:
160: You Are Not My Bus
Oct 22, 2018 • 46 min
Where should I look when I’m talking to someone? Will aliens ride our roller coasters when we’re all dead? Should guests help do the dishes? And more! Email us:
159: The Horrifying Five-Tined Fork
Oct 15, 2018 • 46 min
How do I get out of this maze? What do I do with this cello? When will I stop having to call my mom to help me figure out life? And more! Email us: We’re now on Twitter! Follow us at…
158: President Alligator
Oct 8, 2018 • 43 min
Why do people hate raisins? Is U2 a boy band? How do I make friends with the people I work with? And more! Email us:
157: It’s My Soundtrack! (w/ Rosianna Halse Rojas!)
Oct 1, 2018 • 48 min
Should I treasure my books more? Can I learn to sleep standing up like a horse? Does everyone have an eighties disco playing in their head? And more! Email us: Find Rosianna: YouTube Make Out With Him…
156: There Is a Diversity of Opinions Among the People Who Drive This Car
Sep 24, 2018 • 43 min
How can I avoid having to dress up for Halloween? What do you do when your friends make fun of your friend? How do I artfully display my rib? And more! Email us:
155: Drunk Fruit Squirrels
Sep 17, 2018 • 39 min
Can I wear my Tuesday shirt on other days? How do I give advice that doesn’t hurt feelings but is still helpful? Did I steal this plant? And more! Email us:
154: You’re Doing Great (w/ Tessa Violet!)
Sep 10, 2018 • 44 min
What do I do when I’m asked to lie to children? Should I tell my boss I’m obsessed with her famous son? Why is Dodie so much better at stuff than I am? And more! Check out Tessa on YouTube and wherever you get your music! Email us:…
153: Perfectly Normal Art Projects (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)
Sep 3, 2018 • 35 min
Can I use being an artist as an excuse for being weird? How do museum benches work? What is the best advice a parent can give their child? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.ocm Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this…
152: Thank You, Hot Fries!!
Aug 27, 2018 • 52 min
Are we living in a simulation? Are there other types of teeth? What should I do with this bowl? And more! Email us:
151: Dapper Dudes
Aug 20, 2018 • 46 min
How do I tell my boyfriend he’s beautiful? Can I talk to my cousin’s ex? How do I figure out my music taste? And more! Email us: The PodCon 2 campaign ends soon! Support it here!
150: Spicy Limes
Aug 14, 2018 • 56 min
What should I do with this tooth? How do I keep a secret? How do I get out of the shadow of my parents’ triumphs? And more! Email us: PodCon 2 is happening!
149: Let’s Be Mermaids
Aug 6, 2018 • 46 min
Where would you put an extra eye? How do I survive at home alone? Why is underwear a pair? And more! Email us: Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this episode! For $30 off your first week of HelloFresh,…
148: Hiding Nuts
Jul 23, 2018 • 53 min
Why is there no $25 bill? What happens to a person’s consciousness when they’re teleported? What does space smell like? And more! Email us: PodCon 2 is happening! Check out the Indiegogo campaign here.
147: Celebrities on a Plane
Jul 16, 2018 • 57 min
Should I tell my boyfriend he has a fandom? What do you do in a non-reciprocal high five situation? Why are football scarves so short? And more! Email us: Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode!…
146: Skate with Snakes
Jul 2, 2018 • 52 min
How did people tell time before clocks? Should I go to a thing just to avoid FOMO? How do I deal with popsicle haters? And more! Email us: Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is…
145: Wait to Panic
Jun 18, 2018 • 52 min
What should I do with the ends of bread? How do you know when you get to the end of the galaxy? How did they livestream the lunar landing? And more! Email us: Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this…
144: Great, Robust Berries (w/ Jenny Lawson!)
Jun 11, 2018 • 53 min
What is your innocuous life curse? What should I read when I’ve outgrown YA? How do I survive without my coping mechanism? And more! Email us: Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode! Head to…
143: Eleven Peas
Jun 4, 2018 • 58 min
Are there any good billionaires? How do I get better at contracts? What are the rules of doctor-patient small talk? And more! Email us: Thanks to Simple Contacts for sponsoring this episode! Get $30 off…
142: Don’t Harsh on My Yums
May 28, 2018 • 48 min
Why do people like ant colonies? What do I do about customers who come in right before close? Where do bugs go when it rains? And more! Email us: Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode! The first…
141: Gretel’s Instagram Regrets (w/ How to ADHD!)
May 21, 2018 • 59 min
Am I accidentally a horrible person? What should I do with 1,000 business cards? How do I not break my grandmother’s heart? And more! Email us: Thanks to Jessica and Edward of How to ADHD for joining the…
140: The Spoon in the Road
May 14, 2018 • 47 min
How often should I try new food places? How do you break up with someone without crushing them? What’s the best way to greet a new neighbor? And more! Email us: Thanks to Skillshare for sponsoring this…
139: What If the Moon Was One of Us
May 7, 2018 • 41 min
What should I spend my birthday money on? Is hope a dinosaur? What do I do with 23 plastic molds of my teeth? And more! Email us: Get your Snappy the T. rex shirt here:…
138: Snappy the T. rex
Apr 30, 2018 • 52 min
Do dead bodies get sunburned? How do you science a baby? Who were the first fans? And more! Take our survey! Your feedback helps us out a lot: Email us:
137: Manhole & Me
Apr 23, 2018 • 45 min
Why am I in Seattle? Why are bricks stacked that way in walls? Is nihilism hilarious? And more! Email us:
136: Wake Up Canadian
Apr 17, 2018 • 47 min
What should I wear to Hamilton? If you work a four-day week, do you still get a hump day? Are books a distorted mirror? And more! Email us:
135: Danger Noodles and Little Boops (w/ Emily Graslie!)
Apr 9, 2018 • 64 min
How do you throw away a trash can? Which animals have the most awkward adolescent phase? Are humans an invasive species? And more! Email us:
134: The Millennial Avocadome
Apr 2, 2018 • 47 min
Are rocks actually soft? What are Pop-Tarts? My boyfriend’s ex is dating my ex??? And more!
133: Fork Bouquet
Mar 26, 2018 • 54 min
What should I do with all these plastic forks? At what age do you grow out of regret? Do ants sleep? And more! Email us:
132: Schrödinger’s Floor
Mar 19, 2018 • 52 min
Why do we need constant mental stimuli? How do I clean my room? Can I still be friends with my ex’s family? And more! Email us: Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is offering…
131: Space War Fears
Mar 12, 2018 • 50 min
How do I handle the surprise baby hamsters? Can I take things from someone else’s shopping cart? Are we all gonna die in a space war? And more! Email us: This episode is sponsored by Squarespace! Head to…
130: The LaCroix Boix
Mar 5, 2018 • 55 min
How much sand is there? How do I unfriend the murder? How does one finance baby? And more! Email us:
129: The Worst Guest Books
Feb 26, 2018 • 53 min
Am I not invited to my aunt’s wedding? Do I tell my friend I clogged their toilet? Is there an Olympic Hall of Urine? And more! Email us: ROLF:
128: AARTcoin
Feb 19, 2018 • 51 min
Are hitchhiker ants okay? How do I tell my parents I want to study economics? Who is responsible for calling back after a dropped call? And more! Email us: Thanks to RXBAR for sponsoring this episode! For…
127: How to Befriend a Crow
Feb 12, 2018 • 50 min
Should I follow my dreams of having strange animal friends? What would happen if I pee in this humidifier? Is it disrespectful to look at someone while they yawn? And more! Email us: Thanks to Squarespace…
126: The Space Alien Orange Peel Health Craze
Feb 5, 2018 • 42 min
Should I spend prom at Target or break up my friends? How does Legolas never run out of arrows? What would happen if all plants ceased to exist? And more! Email us: Some things mentioned: The Anthropocene…
125: Book Hangovers (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)
Jan 29, 2018 • 49 min
How do people love reading when it hurts? How do you make friends in art class? How do you proceed after accidentally slow dancing with someone? And more! Email us: Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this…
124: Liars and Litterers and Thieves
Jan 23, 2018 • 56 min
Can I hoard stolen goods? How do I make sure I don’t become a racist? How do I get cookies? And more! Email us: Hank’s book is available for preorder! Learn more at This episode is sponsored…
123: The Incredible Glamorous Hulk
Jan 15, 2018 • 58 min
How do fish get into lakes? How do I stay aware of things without giving them views? Do aliens communicate with sign language? And more! Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible content includes an unmatched selection of audiobooks,…
122: The Last Brand Deal
Jan 8, 2018 • 57 min
Am I too young to be self-supervised? Can I throw away my dead grandmother’s sponges? How do I make a personal retirement PowerPoint for Rick? And more! Email us:
121: Every Plum Has Its Thorn
Dec 25, 2017 • 46 min
What is the point of love if it always ends? How do I scream? How do I stop a surprise avian ring delivery? And more! Email us:
120: Snake Cuddle Time
Dec 18, 2017 • 48 min
How do I memorize all the birds? Should I join the Navy? How do you eat trail mix? And more! Email us:
119: Water Is Dry (w/ Greg Miller!)
Dec 11, 2017 • 57 min
Why don’t I have a lifelong friend? How can I become ruler of everyone with my name? What are snails trying to flee?? And more! Email us:
118: Heavy Baby Bib! (w/ Alex Goldman!)
Dec 4, 2017 • 61 min
What counts as significant change? How do you know who you’re supposed to buy presents for? Is it weird to let someone know you’re thinking of them? And more! Email us:
117: Lightsaber Your Tiny House (w/ Katherine Green!)
Nov 27, 2017 • 60 min
What do you do with cereal dust? What happens if kid doesn’t like dog? How did cave people cut their fingernails? And more! Email us:
116: Do Not Enter the Craft Fort! (w/ Caitlin Hofmeister!)
Nov 20, 2017 • 58 min
How do you surprise loved ones in small apartments? What is the line between archaeology and grave robbing? What is the appropriate time to get into the Christmas season? And more! Email us:
115: Semi-Immortal 35-Year-Olds on Mars
Nov 13, 2017 • 51 min
What is the smallest part of the body you can be a doctor in? Why do we rub our eyes when we’re tired? How do I turn my imagination off long enough to sleep? And more! Email us:
114: Confused About Batman
Nov 6, 2017 • 44 min
Over the last month, Hank and John have been on the road going to cities all across America. Every stop, they did a short episode of Dear Hank and John, and some of those got recorded. Then Hank edited some of the best of those moments into this podcast.…
113: Aardvarks with Guns
Oct 30, 2017 • 43 min
Is outer space full of vampires? Am I engaged? Why haven’t our mouths evolved to be better at pumpkin spice lattes? And more! Email us:
112: Toaster Is a Wolf to Dog
Oct 24, 2017 • 38 min
Where does candle wax go? Can you just switch where you’re sitting one day? Does saying “I love you” eventually lose its meaning? And more! Email us:
111: Omagles All the Way Down
Oct 9, 2017 • 45 min
How do I get in on my neighbor’s cranberry bread? How do I live in a very small room? Who’s responsible for the divider in a checkout line? And more! Email us:
110: One and Less Extra Bone
Oct 2, 2017 • 48 min
Where does all the extra body come from? Why are grapefruits called grapefruits? Is it acceptable to talk about social media in real life? And more! Email us:
109: The Catastrophizing Kindergarten Teacher
Sep 25, 2017 • 50 min
How do I stop whistling? How do you not get burned out? How do I get rid of a death zit? And more! Email us:
108: We Would All Be Flounders
Sep 18, 2017 • 50 min
What do I say to my blind date? How do I get my mom to call me less frequently? Are you supposed to ask a father for his daughter’s hand in marriage? And more! Email us:
107: skREvEL!
Sep 11, 2017 • 51 min
Why do I feel safer with the lights on? Why can’t my bathtub be in my living room? Am I in danger of being electrocuted? And more! Turtles All the Way Down tour: Email us:…
106: Cannibal Mermaids
Sep 5, 2017 • 48 min
How far can you get making only right turns? What’s the proper response to being constantly serenaded? Does fire have mass? And more! Email us:
105: Fancy Diving
Aug 28, 2017 • 60 min
Is cake salty? How do I get alone time at a party without a cigarette? Where is the rest of An Imperial Affliction? And more! Email us:
104: Dove Quivering
Aug 21, 2017 • 45 min
Why am I afraid of something I know doesn’t exist? Can I avoid scurvy by sticking my arm in a giant vat of orange juice? What is proper etiquette for a cat birthday party? And more! Get 10% off your first purchase by going to or…
103: There Are No Boxes (w/ Gaby Dunn!)
Aug 14, 2017 • 62 min
What is a mug without a handle? When’s the right time to get a Saturn tattoo? Should I come out when I’m not ready? And more! Email us:
102: The Friend Bucket
Aug 7, 2017 • 46 min
Could you take down a coyote with your arms? Should people be allowed to put things in someone else’s Netflix queue? How do I cope with social anxiety? And more! Email us:
101: Knit like a Mofo
Jul 31, 2017 • 44 min
What would happen if all mosquitoes die? What do I do about my surprise YouTube celebrity boyfriend? What’s the truth about John Lennon’s “Imagine”? And more! Email us:
100th Episode Extravaganza Spectacular!!!
Jul 24, 2017 • 62 min
Who was the first joshing Josh? Do bugs understand glass? How do I learn to chill? And more! Email us:
99: A Fusing of the Hair
Jul 3, 2017 • 49 min
What do I do if my spouse wants to shave his head? Why are there birds at the airport? What if I’m not as well read as my boyfriend? And more! Email us:
98: An Army of Burrito Children (w/ Dodie Clark!)
Jun 26, 2017 • 56 min
How do you deal with the dissipation of your future plans? Should I tell my parents I met my boyfriend on Tinder? How do I succeed if I’m not a go-getter? And more! Email us:
97: Lemon Salty Whales
Jun 19, 2017 • 49 min
When should I introduce my kid to Star Wars? Can I dislike parts of my life even though I have privilege? How did humans start swimming? And more! Email us:
96: Next Level Laziness
Jun 12, 2017 • 49 min
If you put in work to be lazy, is it still laziness? Does Lin Manuel Miranda listen to Hamilton for funzies? At what point are you supposed to put water on a toothbrush? And more! Email us:
95: Lawn Care Vigilantism
Jun 5, 2017 • 56 min
What should my fun fact about me be? How do Christians and non-Christians get along? Am I too old to listen to this podcast? And more! Email us:
94: Pocket Conspiracy Theories (w/ Matthew Gaydos!)
May 29, 2017 • 69 min
Is Hank a reptilian-human hybrid? How do I grieve and also be there for my students? What do you do when you do something terrible by accident? And more! Email us:
93: Nothing Fits on a Bumper Sticker
May 22, 2017 • 42 min
Can a writer mess with science for poetic purposes? If you enjoy Narnia, would you enjoy The Fountainhead? Is there a right social construct to teach? And more!
92: Cewebrity
May 15, 2017 • 48 min
Should I contact the guy who owns the plane on which I was born? Are art and content different? Does it matter that the guy I’m dating has a six pack while I eat a lot of tacos? And more! PodCon!…
91: Everything Is Everything (w/ Mayim Bialik!)
May 8, 2017 • 55 min
Why do I like the smell of gasoline? What should I do about my racist boss? What is the clothes fastener technology in Star Wars? And more! Email us:
90: Glitter Soul
May 2, 2017 • 50 min
Are you really in the clear with liquor before beer? Should I embrace the error on my birth certificate? Does it really matter where I go to college? And more! Email us: Patreon:
89: A Rich Guy with an Affinity for Bats
Apr 24, 2017 • 62 min
Is Batman a superhero? How do I claim an island as my own? Is there a “no politics” rule in dating? And more! Email us:
88: Hank’s Profound Graduation Speech
Apr 10, 2017 • 48 min
Why do rich people like golf so much? What color is the sky on Mars? How much do I need to fact-check news before I share it? Where are bird ears??? And more! Email us:
87: The Future Is Gonna Rule
Apr 3, 2017 • 51 min
How do I develop a cool signature? How do I tell my dad I’ve been hiding a snake for several months? Is it acceptable to shout advice at strangers? And more! Email us:
86: This Week in Ryans
Mar 27, 2017 • 48 min
Do taller people have bigger organs? Are more expensive clothes actually better? Is there a secular way to say you’re “praying” for someone? And more! Email us:
85: Stay Gold, Potaterson
Mar 20, 2017 • 49 min
What should my motto be? What vegetable is happiness? When is enough really enough? And more! Email us:
84: Live from NerdCon: Nerdfighteria!
Mar 13, 2017 • 60 min
Where are all the fireflies? What is “the spark”? Was Alexander Hamilton or Sirius Black a bigger drama queen? And more!
83: There’s No Rock and Roll on Mars
Mar 6, 2017 • 50 min
Is the Big Bang really a thing? Does the driver or the passenger get to pick the music? What if someone gets pregnant on Mars? And more! Email us:
82: Where There Was Previously Nothing
Feb 20, 2017 • 48 min
How long until everyone is related to Beyoncé? When does parenting stop sucking? How can I help the world without being rich? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:
81: Always Making Progress Forever
Feb 13, 2017 • 49 min
Can you separate the artist from the work? How do bugs survive microwaves? Will we ever be a perfectly unified planet? And more! Sarah’s cookies! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria:…
80: Life Is Hard and Also Has Good Things
Feb 6, 2017 • 49 min
What are the top ten kinds of spoons? Why do boys kiss like dying fish? What would happen if we lost gravity for fifteen seconds? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:
79: Tiny Useless Pelvises (That Are Still There)
Jan 30, 2017 • 41 min
How nice do you have to be at the grocery store? How do we know humans didn’t come from Mars? What is sound even? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:
78: Being Sure
Jan 23, 2017 • 55 min
How do I stop catfishing someone? How do I not feel embarrassed sharing my writing? Should I DIY my shirt? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:
77: Save Us, Giant Octopus
Jan 16, 2017 • 41 min
Should you always imagine people complexly? Would constellations be different on Mars? How many trees would you have to plant to offset your carbon footprint? And more!
76: The Best of Dear Hank & John
Jan 9, 2017 • 42 min
A look back on some of the most memorable moments in the history of the pod! Featuring: Jurassic Mars, Ryan, OH MY GOD IT’S BURNING, John’s atrocious cereal eating habits, pumpkins and penguins, the long con, and more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria:…
75: The Nutrient Coconut Milk of Sin (w/ Katherine Green!)
Jan 3, 2017 • 57 min
Who does my cat think I am? Is listening to music a waste of time? Should we get a new coconut? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:
74: The Kindness Muscle
Dec 28, 2016 • 46 min
How do I deal with finals stress? What building would you haunt? How do I teach my kid not to bully? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:
73: Planes, Trains, and Automosqueals
Dec 19, 2016 • 47 min
What do you do if you’re lost in the forest? Is Santa subject to trademark laws? Should I take a boring job for money? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:
72: Planet Dirt (Hank Returns!)
Dec 12, 2016 • 49 min
Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Should I tell my mom about my risky plans? What is the tipping point for apocalypse chaos? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:
71: Only Pause for Applause (w/ Hannah Hart!)
Dec 6, 2016 • 47 min
Help, I can’t tell my roommates apart! What if my relationship has an expiry date? How much reflection should you do after finishing a book? And more!
70: The Rhythmic Thud of the Space Bar (w/ Ashley Ford!)
Nov 22, 2016 • 54 min
How do we move forward post-Election Day? How do you know when/if to have kids? Why does the space bar sound like that? And more!
69: Live from NerdCon: Stories (w/ Karen Hallion!)
Nov 7, 2016 • 80 min
Who is the foxiest founding father? How do I convince my boyfriend to not go to Mars? Is all my sister’s stuff mine now? And more!
68: Gaga in Space (w/ Tyler Oakley!)
Nov 1, 2016 • 42 min
Are quesadillas sandwiches? What is the ideal OK Cupid match percentage? How much of another person’s food am I allowed to consume? And more!
67: Feeling Home
Oct 24, 2016 • 59 min
Should I ghost out of my job? Are bubble baths a hobby or an interest? How do I not feel like a forever foreigner? And more!
66: A Great Bit of Oratory
Oct 17, 2016 • 51 min
How do I keep enjoying music I enjoyed with an ex? How do I recover from being doused in bull semen? What are my responsibilities when people ask me to watch their stuff? And more!
65: But… You’re a Horse
Oct 3, 2016 • 44 min
Should we fear a locust apocalypse? Will listening to Japanese while I sleep help me remember it? How do I remain confident in my art around older, more experienced artists? And more!
64: Really Terrible Scandinavian Geography Lessons
Sep 26, 2016 • 49 min
Why won’t people accept my tissues? Should half-wolf children be vaccinated? What do I do when I see a stranger crying in public? And more!
63: World Queen
Sep 19, 2016 • 51 min
What do I do while people are singing “Happy Birthday”? What are mushrooms even? Is it okay to want people to not be wrong? And more!
62: Pumpkins and Penguins (and Fiddles)
Sep 12, 2016 • 55 min
How do I go about my secret fiddle long con? Why do almost all zippers have the letters YKK on them? Do bugs ever have a destination in mind when they walk around aimlessly? And more!
61: Tiny Acts of Kindness
Sep 6, 2016 • 49 min
How do gas planets work? What is proper door etiquette? Is Hank going to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all together? And more!
60: There Is Almost Always a Future
Aug 30, 2016 • 45 min
Where all all the dead birds? Should I really live each day of my life like it’s my last? Am I a fraud for being a social chameleon? And more!
59: Hank’s Disaster Preparedness Plan
Aug 22, 2016 • 45 min
What is my actual favorite color? At what point in the day do I switch to “have a good night” as my go-to courtesy? What do I do when The Big One hits? And more!
58: That’s the Science (w/ Flula!)
Aug 16, 2016 • 49 min
Why are there holes in crackers? What is proper hot tub etiquette? Can I snapchat politicians about immigration reform? And more!
57: Og Nomekop
Aug 9, 2016 • 41 min
How do I organize someone else’s books? How do I justify the money allocated to extending my life? How does tug of war work? And more!
56: Is It Going to Throw Up?
Aug 2, 2016 • 52 min
How do I dad? Are expiration dates just suggestions? What do I call the people I work with? Do I really need to get drunk on my twenty-first birthday? And more!
55: A Proper Dumpster Fire
Jul 26, 2016 • 57 min
Should I sell cold, fresh potty water? Why don’t we write phonetically? Why do I like all this sad stuff? And more!
54: Nerd Punk
Jul 6, 2016 • 52 min
Are bell peppers airtight? How do I quit smoking? Why is that new baby smell so good? And more!
53: The Worst Episode Ever
Jun 30, 2016 • 46 min
Do fish swim? Is Hank snapchatting? How do I stop my earphones from getting tangled? How do I deal with a job that I hate? And more!
52: We Are in This Together
Jun 21, 2016 • 50 min
Will my laptop sterilize me? Do you like (or write) fanfiction? Where is the rest of the lizard whose tail I found in my room? And more!
51: Weird/Bad Dancefighting
Jun 15, 2016 • 44 min
What are nerdfighters fighting? How do I learn to enjoy physical activity? How do I stop talking about Mars in my sleep? And more!
50: Things Are Like Other Things
Jun 7, 2016 • 49 min
Why isn’t John on Hank’s Top 8 on MySpace? What is the correct way to eat an Oreo? Is my can opener a sign that I’ve entered an alternate universe? And more!
49: Not Not an Adult (w/ Sydney Green!)
May 31, 2016 • 41 min
How do you define adulthood? Is it slice of pizza or piece of pizza? How do I reclaim my armrest when I’m in the middle seat? And more!
48: Pizza John Priorities
May 24, 2016 • 39 min
Is Pizza John inherently unsexy? Should I court familial disaster? Where else can I seek dubious advice? And more! AFC update tag music is ‘News Sting’ by Kevin MacLeod.
47: You’re Gonna Be Okay
May 17, 2016 • 47 min
How do I mourn a mug? What if it had been Vlogsisters instead of Vlogbrothers? How do I navigate roommatedom? And more!
46: Brotherhood 3.0
May 2, 2016 • 45 min
Where are all the Bob Ross paintings? Why is a minor injury more painful to me than literal childbirth? How do I get myself a surprise party? And more!
45: Not Knowing
Apr 26, 2016 • 52 min
Should I feel guilty about liking Hamilton? Why aren’t we talking about our impending death by Yellowstone? Should I be saving all my burrito money for the economic apocalypse? And more!
44: A Life Sandwich
Apr 20, 2016 • 52 min
How do I find joy when my main source of it has been taken away? How do I deal with my unfortunate name, which is not Ryan? How do I handle compliments? How do I deal with over-the-top laughter? How do I deal with the closest thing there is to death? And…
43: Gotta Be Kitten
Apr 12, 2016 • 45 min
Why do people put up with banana opportunity cost? How do I deal with bird attacks? Chemtrails: what’s up with them? And more!
42: Mayonnaise Malaise
Apr 5, 2016 • 49 min
Am I making unethical sandwich decisions? Am I a sucker for not cheating in school? Do we need drive-thru reform? Why do farts smell worse in the shower? And more!
41: In the Absence of Toes
Mar 29, 2016 • 51 min
Have we checked in on the bees? What would happen if you lost your big toe? How do you stir hot cocoa efficiently? And more!
40: Almost Distressingly Good Advice
Mar 21, 2016 • 54 min
How Canadian am I, really? How should I unpack? How do I reconcile my ideals with my actions? And more!
39: Feelings Are All Right (with Katherine Green)
Mar 16, 2016 • 64 min
How do I overcome pizza betrayal? What’s the deal with sesame seeds? How do I solve my sibling ball crisis? What do I do in Montana? How do I deal with my driving anxiety? And more!
38: The Smelling in Your Dwelling
Mar 8, 2016 • 53 min
Why don’t bugs die when we flick them? Why do we talk the way we do? What’s the deal with dollars in movies? How much would it cost to buy the world a coke? And more!
37: The Floridiest Place
Mar 2, 2016 • 56 min
How do you reattach John’s head? Why aren’t supreme court justices chosen more efficiently? How do you hug? Does Mars have seasons? Why don’t people eat grass like cows?
36: Grief Is Super Weird
Feb 23, 2016 • 55 min
Is there a secret planet opposite ours? Is strawberry flavor fooling us all? How can we be better listeners? Why do people ghost other people?
35: Should I Get Baptized if I Don’t Believe?
Feb 16, 2016 • 47 min
Am I Lisa Turtle or Screech? What would happen to lava on the sun? After blowing ones nose, why does one look into the Kleenex? Coconuts are hairy an make milk, are they mammals? When does the early 2000s become “The Turn of the Century”? AND OTHER…
34: YouTube Freaky Friday
Feb 9, 2016 • 46 min
Can I eat expired Mac N Cheese? What would you do if you only had 300 subscribers on YouTube? Is a kitty on my lap an excuse for tardiness? What if you dumped the sun into a massive MASSIVE bucket of water? What do you do when someone asks you a question…
33: Putting Water in Cereal?!
Feb 3, 2016 • 51 min
Why do we fall for clickbait? Why do smells become normal? Why do we call aluminum foil “tin foil?” Why do people always ask where I’m from? My name is boring! Are four-sided bananas safe to eat?! THESE AND OTHER QUESTIONS, ANSWERED FOR YOU TODAY!
32: Broccoli-Flavored Chocolate
Jan 27, 2016 • 46 min
Can create fresh water by boiling the sea with a giant magnifying glass? Is suffering necessary for us to appreciate the beauty in life? What about asteroids and super-volcanos! Should a heart be judged by how much it loves or by how much it’s loved?
31: Breakin’ the Law (and Being Good.)
Jan 19, 2016 • 43 min
Should I give up on my dreams of changing the world? Is mayonnaise an instrument? Why are DVD cases not squares? Can you burn a cucumber? Does the moon have Earth eclipses? Do you have anonymous social profiles?
30: Ending the Hiaaeetus!
Jan 11, 2016 • 44 min
What do you do when your couple friends stop hanging with single you? Should we imagine evil people complexly? Could you light Saturn on fire? How long could humans survive only eating humans? And then we discuss our over/unders for age of death.
29: Barbershop Genghis
Dec 22, 2015 • 38 min
Do you need to be a Patreon supporter to get your question answered? How do I make my partner comfortable at his first Christmas with my family? Why are mini-M&Ms better than the regular kind? Why do we always assume life needs water? And an important…
28: John’s Top Ten Probable Apocalypse List
Dec 15, 2015 • 44 min
Why are there no feral cows? What are you looking at? Should you say “Bless You” when someone coughs? What would happen if the magnetic poles reversed? How do I keep my nerves from getting the best of me (while playing competitive Pokemon)? What can we do…
27: Giving Gifts without Breaking the Bank
Dec 7, 2015 • 40 min
Did we discover the periodic table, or did we invent it? How do you start running a business with friends? How would one go about crashing the moon into the Earth? Is an emoji a word? And finally, most importantly, when is it ok to start listening to…
26: Should I Make Out with My Roommate?
Dec 1, 2015 • 46 min
How do I choose an ethical engagement ring? There’s a wasp trapped in my dorm room! How do I know which arm rest is mine at the movie theater? And a question about grammar…from our father. Also, we have a patreon now:…
Nov 23, 2015 • 41 min
Why are we so obsessed with zombies? What do you do if your dentist tries to talk to you when you obviously can’t talk? How do beat my girlfriend’s gift skills? Should I try to re-kindle a friendship with someone who I did something nasty to? AND OTHER…
24: The Great Finger Licking Debate
Nov 17, 2015 • 42 min
How do you learn new things as an adult? Oral surgery advice? Worrying about hexagons and etc!
Nov 9, 2015 • 44 min
Why do different trees change color at different times? What if a friend isn’t creating their creative work that you love? Some advice for job and scholarship interviews. How do I express empathy properly? How should I feel about getting worse at Tetris?
22: Post-Menopausal Cousin Marriage
Nov 3, 2015 • 36 min
How should toilet paper be dispensed? Help! My fingers are glued together! If you hover a helicopter in the same place for 24 hours, why don’t you travel around the earth? What food weird combinations do you like? What should I do if a scholarship…
21: Who Am I?
Oct 26, 2015 • 47 min
Halloween costume advice. Does John think people are evil? Misunderstanding Risk. Advice for referees of kids soccer games. Would the Bat Signal actually work? How does the stock market work? And, of course, a very brief discussion of the self.
20: This Episode Contains Puke
Oct 20, 2015 • 47 min
Should I cave to my parents and have them at my wedding? Are we just cats? Why does 98 degrees feel hot if that’s my body temperature? How do I read slow books? What do you do when your loved one is in a pyramid scheme?
19: Should I Abandon My Stuffed Animal?
Oct 11, 2015 • 34 min
Should I watch YouTube ads? How do I make friends with my old neighbors? What do I do when my daughter won’t sleep because she’s always on the internet? When is it worth arguing on the internet? Will climate change mess with forecasts?