Those Damn Ross Kids

Those Damn Ross Kids

www.thosedamnrosskids.com
A conversation between brothers.


233: The Blood is Lava
Sep 25, 2018 • 39 min
Kris and Kole talk about empathy prosthetics, the commerce of comfort, and unwise thrift. ALSO: The Full Tremaine. Elementary school art glasses. Moving travails. Don’t put the whole story in the headline. Safe alcohol consumption is a myth. The worst lap…
232: No Hunger Games, No Hunger Drama
Sep 11, 2018 • 42 min
Kris and Kole talk about food safety, transformative spaces, and a new level of cat fishing. ALSO: Library Swords. A code red, room temperature milk problem. The problem with Papa. Kole explains “owning the libs”. Swing State of Mind. Public urinals are a…
231: There’s No Legs in This Thing
Aug 28, 2018 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about cramming, restoration, and nights on the town. ALSO: It just says “Here”. Trim in the wild. How I know Dan Marino. Don’t put the whole thing in. Clock restoration. How a pump works. A shame free zone where anything goes. Just…
230: F.T.B.D.E.
Aug 14, 2018 • 34 min
Kris and Kole talk about missed opportunities, flawed hagiographies, and big dick energy. ALSO: Missing the Journey concert. The second one is always hardest. Facebook calls the Declaration of Independence racist (and it’s slightly right). Who is the Brat…
229: Pump Hound
Jul 31, 2018 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about repetition, corruption, and dangerous botany. ALSO: Pump Hound. Misunderstanding reincarnation. Hot time, summer in the city. Kris went to see Taylor Swift. Fact hype man. Garrett died. Reddit and MIT taught an AI to be a…
228: Butt Stuff
Jul 3, 2018 • 36 min
Kris and Kole talk about butt stuff. ALSO: Butt stuff.
227: Sandwich Opportunities
Jun 19, 2018 • 39 min
Kris and Kole talk about texture, invasive dentistry, and urban tombs. ALSO: Pressed goo. A soda faux pas, and the preferred lettuce. Coming on strong. Cashew surprise. Anne Frank’s dirty jokes. A Toys R(ave) Us. Suburb-ex. ISIS didn’t do that.
226: Swipe Right, Lose Your Sight
Jun 5, 2018 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about mementos, identity icons, and outlawed words. ALSO: Turd down for what. Letters from yourself. Keep your keys. Tinker Bell, Taz, Tweety Bird, etc. The alleged tattoo. STDs on the rise. Where did this story take place? Play-Doh…
225: The Second Autumn Always Was
May 8, 2018 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about antiquated search engines, parapsychological phenomena, and botched breakfasts. ALSO: Lycos will suffice. Nothing notable has happened. Cosby Crazies. The Pup Crawl. A balanced view. The Poop Train moves on. The 100th Baboon. I…
224: Parallelothong
Apr 24, 2018 • 48 min
Kris and Kole talk about assistive hygiene, intemperate vermin, and double diamond genealogy. ALSO: Kris creates a sound poem. Dilly Bars and parallelothongs. I don’t miss Law and Order. Things we regret saying. Zombie raccoons take Youngstown. Don’t hold…
223: Eeyore Gets a House
Apr 10, 2018 • 47 min
Kris and Kole talk about illumination, snack cakes, and unusual births. ALSO: It might not make a difference. Kris’ trip and the very expensive rock. Snack cake kill room. The Missouri Pickle Mystery. The Oregonian katana murder. Coffin birth. Kool Aid…
222: So Many Words
Mar 27, 2018 • 39 min
Kris and Kole talk about externalities, escalation, and expedition. ALSO: Big enough for a callback. Worried about crass. Externalities and dominoes. Cremation problems. The Great Canoe War. Racing to get to jail. A trip to Hidden Lakes.
221: The Zone Defense
Mar 13, 2018 • 47 min
Kris and Kole talk about moderation, valuable fluids, and parasites. ALSO: Shirley Temple desires. The middle. Too much news. Every house comes with Encino Man. Deer semen is very valuable. Osama Bin Laden’s entertainment collection. Sources, methods,…
220: Hey Mildred, Are You Ternt?
Feb 27, 2018 • 43 min
Kris and Kole talk about proximity policy, flawed geography, and hostile packaging. ALSO: We tell you what you want. Nothing better. Kris is laying down. It rained in the house. Cash me ousite ha ba da. Girlscout cookies and week depositories. Helicopter…
219: Swerve Drive on the Road Pop
Feb 13, 2018 • 51 min
Kris and Kole talk about delivery logistics, awful queso, and delayed gratification. ALSO: Give ‘im the heater! Scavenger hunt for my packages. A very bad watch. The tubed food market. A comment from our racist president. A campaign against Tide Pods. A…
218: House of Nards
Jan 30, 2018 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about dank taxonomies, derogatory taxonomies, and morbid taxonomies. ALSO: Context counts. We didn’t talk. Fish excuses and sweet potato difficulties. It’s a thermal carafe. QUIZ: Canadian weed terms. A place where wolves like to fuck.…
217: Illegal Sammy
Dec 19, 2017 • 47 min
Kris and Kole talk about oils, suffocation, and materials acquisition and transport. ALSO: Trying to pronounce French words. Seltzer logistics. Lil’ Peeper. Chubby Bunny lethality. Top shelf crouts. What’s the Deal With?: Essential Oils. Shaving…
216: Loads, Man
Dec 5, 2017 • 47 min
Kris and Kole talk about consensus, prose, and myth. ALSO: A good time for pre-pro. The problem with grandma. What about Breakfast at Tiffany’s? North Central Ohio’s first bar/arcade. It’s been a while. Bad Sex in Fiction. Sex Motorcycle, by Horny Man…
215: Write It Down
Nov 7, 2017 • 34 min
Kris and Kole talk about advancements in technical culture, Tom Petty's subscription services, and chastity. ALSO: The screen keeps rotating. Nobody types. Cancel Tom Petty’s Pantry subscription. Tequila and beans. Kris’ text theater. Swarms of…
214: That’s Never Happened Before
Oct 24, 2017 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about medical oddities, evidence, and amateur zookeeping. ALSO: Hard to look at. A lot of room. That kidney thing has never happened before. Feed that kid some kale. Whataburger Evidence. Grasses of the world. Equal time. Ten sharks in…
213: Maybe That’s Why I Hate Myself
Oct 10, 2017 • 34 min
Kris and Kole talk about extreme sleeping, spider church, and mascot naming. ALSO: Goofy foot sleeping. Tony Hawk memories. Command strips. Look at that dead junk. Have this cup of bedbugs. Netflix is a joke. Spider cathedral. Red balloons and clown…
212: Everything is Gonna Be Fine
Sep 26, 2017 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about tourism, hooks, and escape acts. ALSO: Lotsa travel. Tales from the MLK museum. Tattoos by length or volume. It sandblasted the skin from their bones. I’m being doxed by Blue Traveler. Everything is gonna be fine. The shittiest…
211: Girl Balls
Sep 12, 2017 • 40 min
Kris and Kole talk about good luck, decapitation, and shifting priorities. ALSO: Milton Waddams. New shut-ins. Our people, their people, and good luck. Crawford beheaded. The prince of purp. More fucking eclipse talk. A truly depressing workplace story.…
210: Showtime Ninja
Aug 29, 2017 • 43 min
Kris and Kole talk about forgery, recycling, and workplace inconvenience. ALSO: Dewy. Falltime festivals. Tiger Woods’s feel good hit of the summer. Fake Tiffany. Gutter Oil. I caught a drunk. Pooping next to a dead man. We lost a tortoise. Out of ninjas.…
209: Frosting Train
Aug 15, 2017 • 42 min
Kris and Kole talk about what happens after the end, delicate surgeries, and whiskey origins. ALSO: The magic. Frosting Train. Let them play Cake. Inflat-a-bull. Self termination. Contacts and cataracts. Crows. Gonorrhea vaccine accident. Dr. Pepper…
208: The Last Breakfast Machine
Aug 1, 2017 • 38 min
Kris and Kole talk about live music, historical reenactment, and the best way out. ALSO: Wait for the Oh Boy. Okkervil River Concert. Ducks have taken a dark turn. Stuck in ATM, send help. Colonial Williamsburg is in trouble. Fidget spinner porn. Moon…
207: Reverse Home Alone
Jul 18, 2017 • 29 min
Kris and Kole talk about deliverance, arctic comfort, and robocops. ALSO: The anatomy of a raisin. Flashlight demo. Just the tip. The Trump family origin. Murphy beds are terrifying. Robot cops for real. A depressing cop story. We don’t understand fidget…
206: Deep State Denny
Jul 4, 2017 • 39 min
Kris and Kole talk about doppelgangers, diplomacy, and mystery clocks. ALSO: Kole in the future. A new Ikea. You lose time. Sing the praises of the king. A new island. A Mermaid Puzzle for Kim. Make my ear more handsome. A lost clock. Wasp nest pleasure…
205: Sizzlin’ Beans
Jun 20, 2017 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about brand loyalty, crisis, and plagiarism. ALSO: Tentpole. How the West was fun. Pepsi shirt on Coke day. Ripple got Bluthed. Grandma prom. Sizzlin’ Beans. Laundry pods and dementia. Staggering heroin stats. Pocket full of Sparknotes.
204: Whatever It Takes
May 23, 2017 • 38 min
Kris and Kole talk about the wrong kind of seasonal affective disorder, body farms, and architecture. ALSO: Whatever it takes. Spring weirdness. Take that, stepdad. Deer shouldn’t eat that. The black dog of depression. Fuck this van, fuck this table.…
203: Mister Internet
May 9, 2017 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about branding, inebriation, and Steven Seagal. Good talk. The Brands Bracket. The trip. Spot the Drake. Alcohol and painkillers. Bombay Sapphire recall. Extract the truth. Cyrus. The Frork. The Russia-Seagall Connection.
202: Oops! All Golf Balls
Apr 25, 2017 • 38 min
Kris and Kole talk about the value of education, podcasting procedures, and heists. ALSO: UYD show and cops. Testing for lag. Let’s sell some chicken. Graduation and the value of education. These hash browns are well below par. Operation Vandelay…
201: Involuntary Uber
Mar 29, 2017 • 46 min
ALSO: A Year of Duckfeed. The etymology and proper usage of mfer. Holidome. R. Lee Ermy and Seinfeld. A tale of two brothers. Drive stick. Sex is good for you. Daily Toast. Channel One.
200: The Wal*Mart Mistake
Mar 14, 2017 • 44 min
Kris and Kole spend the 200th episode talking about Mansfield geography, stain removal, and cries for help. ALSO: Shawshank’s Mile. Foam party malfunction. Dessert centrifuge. Hyper specific geography. Corporate Holy Grail: Curry Setting. The Wal*Mart…
199: Adderall Bears
Feb 28, 2017 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about sensitivity, historic wars, and performance enhancing bears. ALSO: Mistaken identity. Jim Nabors. Judy Garland and the Munchkins. Swearing makes you honest. Shit pile. Fuck, Marry, Kill your students. Amphetamine bears. Alex Jones…
198: Beak Deep
Jan 31, 2017 • 43 min
Kris and Kole talk about toys, violence, and aviation. ALSO: Loofah. The chronicle of Sgt. Slaughter. Toy followup. Superheroes and violence. Monopoly piece vote. The loneliest bird. The curse of the monkey god is real. Frontier inoculation.
197: Post-Whoomp on the Slide Side
Jan 17, 2017 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about upgrades, enhancements, and hubris. ALSO: Sans the snap and the pop. Dirt Cheap Yeti. Damp Snacks. Explain it to Roper. Age Play. Chicken Chalupa Shell. Firebox. Prehistoric cows are back.
196: 300 Jars
Jan 3, 2017 • 31 min
Kris and Kole talk about getting in too deep, riding, and adventure. ALSO: Four other symptoms. Boring stuff about Trump. 1100lb Egyptian woman leaves home for the first time. Pony Up Daddy. A treasure hunter with amnesia.
195: Falling Down Day
Dec 20, 2016 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about inventive cocktails, dictators, and survival. ALSO: Ron Howard. Concession. Risky to defend Duterte. Faces of Def. A Child’s Perspective on the Revolutionary War. Explaining things is my living. Game2. The Yule Dumpster Fire.…
194: Funk Implant
Dec 6, 2016 • 30 min
Kris and Kole talk about Randy Quaid, singles ads, and rogue weather forecasting. ALSO: No silence. Our incipient apocalypse. Randy Quaid again. Brian’s vanishing. Weird singles ads. None more black. Trump design.
193: Crisco Inferno
Nov 22, 2016 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about the aftermath, the Lorax, and accessorization. ALSO: Complaining about Skype again. It’s so weird now. Snack fire. Wedding cock ring. Change the game. Don’t punch a police horse. Kim Jong Un.
192: Three Men Who Stole a Baby
Oct 24, 2016 • 42 min
Kris and Kole talk about improv, Cheers, and temporary recreational pools. ALSO: Wouldn’t want to miss a week. Kris’ whale song phone booth. No, but. No opinion on Ted Dansen. Budtender. A contemptible man. The Paddling Pool Slasher. No really, I’m a…
191: A Button That Says Linda
Oct 11, 2016 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about millennials, the future of sex, and surgery. ALSO: A PSA. How many hours. New Zealand sign is the lake now. Fuckin’ millennials. Tease and Please. These clowns owe us answers. Kris’ vasectomy story.
190: Java Mopper
Sep 27, 2016 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about opiates, justice, and excess. ALSO: Improving your experience. A maker society. Toddler generals and existential fishing stories. Arrest my toddler. Solid gold toilet. Congressman Teddy Ruxpin eats his foot.
189: Between Bill Brasky and North Korea
Sep 13, 2016 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about logistics, propaganda, and true love. Update the schematic. New phone ordeal. My cat’s a bitch. I found the beef. The best health, the best. Robobabies. All Hail Shizz. Car bang. Manbang. Have this snake, this is you. Solve…
188: The Bad Place
Aug 30, 2016 • 50 min
Kris and Kole talk about vacation, celebrity gossip, and canine robotics. ALSO: Sorry I was late. Vacation. LePage rant. Kill Pill. Norway phone story. Keenan and Cosby. This will change the way you… Fat One’s Hot Dogs and Italian Ice. Roomba makes…
187: Snail Trail
Jul 19, 2016 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about education, self esteem, and robotics. ALSO: Kole’s cultured. Water on the mind. School Story. Roomba Beer Pong. Too Street. Go Live in This Tent.
186: Blow Joe’s
Jul 5, 2016 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about inadequacy, recruitment, and philanthropy. ALSO: Kole gets angry about audio. Kris gets recruited to a church. Cafe Fellatio. Cops rescue a blow up doll. IJustCame.Org. False Leg House Arrest.
185: Cap Graw Syndrome
Jun 21, 2016 • 42 min
Kris and Kole talk about recognition, being unstuck in time, and digging graves.
184: Please Floor, Calm Down (Summer Jam ‘94)
Jun 7, 2016 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about perspective, testimony, and plagiarism.
183: Flavor Jets
May 9, 2016 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about gimmicks, feuds, and off-label usage. ALSO: Climbing the charts. The end of the internet. Ted Cruz lookalike pornography. Sinead O’Connor and Arsenio Hall have a feud. A Big box of human blood. Paint can shaker plane ride.…
182: Episode 182: We Call Him Braeburn
Apr 26, 2016 • 51 min
Kris and Kole talk about medication, photography, and exertion. ALSO: In the shit. Selfie deaths. Hotel Hell. Pill Mills.
181: Beefin’ the Tube
Apr 12, 2016 • 47 min
Kris and Kole talk about artificial intelligence, creepiness, and indefinite articles. ALSO: Lubey, prep my zone. Touching robot butts. What’s creepy? Zen as Fuck. It’s A penis sleeve, not YOUR penis sleeve.
180: Juice Daddy Gonna Get His
Mar 22, 2016 • 48 min
Kris and Kole talk about unsolicited advice, algorithm, and blood-stained mail. ALSO: Sleep With Me Podcast. Overcommitting. I’ll get you to Mars in a month. PornIQ. Moldy sippy cups. Honest wallet return. Burning down the house. Stare at Ted Cruz’s mouth…
179: xanax.exe
Mar 8, 2016 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about etymology, expression, and parade dynamics. ALSO: Top graduation songs. WordReference.com drama. Language Quiz: Spot the Fake Gay Culture Term. Resting Bitch Face is real. The weirdness of the law.
178: Bird Olympics
Feb 23, 2016 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about exhaustion, legislation, and ornithology. ALSO: Kris knows best. Talking to the lights on the bathroom floor. Cliff Claven Beer Nuts. Walkin’ around. Our Mom: Toy Hunter. State Legislatures. Cowboy Church. Bird Olympics. Frinkiac.…
177: The Remnant
Feb 9, 2016 • 34 min
Kris and Kole go shopping for paint and screen doors while talking about cannibalism.
176: Reverse Guzzler
Jan 19, 2016 • 40 min
Kris and Kole talk about digestion, humor, and chemistry. It’s a snough. We name things weird. Quiz: Terms for Anus. Bitch Better Have My Medicine. Meth spree. MRE regimen. Estrogen ocean. Auto-brewery syndrome. The craziest thing I’ve ever heard.
175: A Fine Girl
Jan 5, 2016 • 40 min
Kris and Kole talk about incarceration, harbingers of failure, and venture capitalism. ALSO: Sneeze jags. Christmas Hangover. Quiz: Prison or Porn. Just Not Sorry. The Harbingers of Failure. Bark Tank. The Sun Diet.
174: Burlesque Buffet
Dec 21, 2015 • 50 min
Kris and Kole talk about being tracked, populism, and mistakes. ALSO: The easiest joke. Burlesque Buffet. Toilet phone. Has Amazon clocked you? Air traffic control meth. 110 MPH and naked. Donald Trump is dangerous. Let’s buy Swett. A rookie mistake. I am…
173: A Funnel and Some Bellows
Aug 11, 2015 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about education, taboo, and novelty. ALSO: It goes a little something like this. School is not learning. Ritz Carlton. Pyongyang Time. 3D printed pills. Tell me the truth. Asparagus water. Breathe your alcohol. The forbidden OSU…
172: Sophisticated
Jul 28, 2015 • 52 min
Kris and Kole talk about neediness, office supplies, and propriety. ALSO: The saddest short story. A podcast about podcasts. Rubber Band Man. Fois Gras Cannon. Sophisticated. A bake sale at a nunnery. Kole’s hair. What’s cheaper than Pluto? A map of…
171: They Call Me the Hammer
Jul 14, 2015 • 37 min
Kris and Kole talk about gardening, anger, and nightmares. ALSO: Trying? Gardening advice. Anger. They call me The Hammer. The most American state. To what end nightmares? Giantess porn. Trigger case. Who is Arianna Grande? Chuck/Charles. And I Helped.
170: Steel Reserve Reserve
Jun 15, 2015 • 51 min
Kris and Kole talk about superstition, mechanical heads, and brains. New mic. Mr. Stealyourgirl. Toussaud Watch. Specific directions. Blondie. PSA: Stop Buying Poor People Green Beans. You can get drunk on your front porch. A $10,000 mechanical head.…
169: This And Everything Else Is All That I Have
Jun 2, 2015 • 51 min
Kris and Kole talk about international regrets, sex education, and politeness. ALSO: Setting the expectation. Annotated bibliography. Mr. Egg. Every recipe is the same. Always Bet on Black. Communist Minecraft. New York Memories, German Regrets. Rhode…
168: Meat Swap
Apr 28, 2015 • 43 min
Kris and Kole talk about pot luck heuristics, impressing bros, and Kevin Kline. ALSO: Acuity. The Good Samaritan was unemployed. The Oakley Pup Crawl. Someone brought botulism to the pot luck. The anatomy of a chicken. Bros burging bros. You’re handsome,…
167: Artisanal Carnies
Mar 31, 2015 • 40 min
Kris and Kole talk about lies, collective nouns, and the benefits of sleeping better. ALSO: The Needy Tennant. Snoop Dogg and Reaganomics. Artisanal Carnies. Belgian blackface. Scarecrow town. Better sleep, better sex. Why we shake hands. Montana street…
166: Klairidy
Mar 24, 2015 • 52 min
Kris and Kole talk about customer service, new marketing opportunities, and restraint. ALSO: Boat School. Tabs and rabbit sounds. Sheik Tweets. Iran Contra. “Do you work here?” syndrome. Starbucks and race. Customer service. Alzheimer’s drug shows…
165: Long Live the New Fleshlight
Mar 17, 2015 • 43 min
Kris and Kole talk about sickness, inhalants, and food marketing fads. ALSO: The black lung. Huffing markers. Institutional synesthesia. Throat confusion. Whole Foods pooping and kale-fed chicken. Bushiness. Being sick. Male enhancement. Sex Selfie Stick.…
164: No Fishnets, No Safety Nets
Feb 3, 2015 • 49 min
Kris and Kole talk about the ballistic properties of pumpkin pie filling, snow days, and courtesy. ALSO: Symphonic Sanford and Son. We’re not communicating in any way. Colon Bowling. Hunter S. Thompson describing a room. Canned goods to prevent school…
163: Follow the Beans
Jan 27, 2015 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about weather disasters, legumes, and skin confusion. ALSO: Snowpocalypse. Christopher Lloyd. Woodburned notes to self. Bean nomenclature. Judgemental Maps. Doomsday clock. Weed spray for lady junk. Online school. Skin confusion. Get…
162: H.M. Really’s
Jan 20, 2015 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about limitations, restauranteurism, and mythical metals. ALSO: Pornographic beverages. Was that Odd Job? Limitations. Who sang The Gambler? Dew Better. Shot for breakfast. Kole spends minutes trying to think of Clint Eastwood’s name.…
161: Boom, You’re Speed Buggy
Jan 13, 2015 • 37 min
Kris and Kole talk about branding, missed connections, and simulacrum. ALSO: Marine Corps. Chicken Commercial. Brands. Pedestrian of the day. Bono’s accident and the speed buggy soul vessel. Missed Connections. Headlights. Flush a snake. Spudato.…
160: Horse Boat, Sunset
Dec 23, 2014 • 48 min
Kris and Kole talk about wine, appliances, and agriculture. ALSO: These genes and the wine kick. Gary Busey’s cocaine dog. Christmas Vacation goof supercut. Who is Sam Elliott. A jetski-less life. Art Crime. Mayonaise and Schrodinger’s Ice Cream. A rice…
159: Just Drink the Water
Dec 16, 2014 • 51 min
Kris and Kole talk about old men, a staggering lack of compassion, and missing brains. ALSO: A tiny little pill. Old Men Who Are Dead as Fuck, Part 43. Old Candies. GGG and tricking us into a Guy-hole. Guy paints Kim Kardashian with his penis. Wakie. A…
158: Way Too Much
Nov 25, 2014 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about giving up, flames, and cleanliness. ALSO: I was going to be lonely anyway. Wolf in White Van. How much do I give up. Giving up way too much. We’re all fire retardant now. Susan G. Komen for the Frack. Lumbersexual. Cleanliness is…
157: Oncologist Cop
Nov 18, 2014 • 48 min
Kris and Kole talk about numbers, cloaking, and crushing uncertainty. ALSO: For my own amusement. Leading your shots. Favorites and Ball Chasing. Inside Baseball on Numbers. People you know. Ladies in podcasts. Vacation Breasts. United States of…
156: A Hit Off the Soy Box
Nov 11, 2014 • 52 min
Kris and Kole talk about disruption, fantasies, and dwarves. ALSO: Easy to get mad. Not related to a department store. I’m mad at the government. Porn title quiz. 3D printed food. Soylent God. 20% of people want to piss on you. The texture of our…
155: Claw Law
Nov 4, 2014 • 43 min
Kris and Kole talk about names, sick days, and underground business meetings. ALSO: Anxiously awaiting a pen shipment. Museum gift store suppliers. An inappropriate gift basket. Claw law. Chinese name advice and the longest name. Hurricane names. Worst…
154: Tyvek Futures
Oct 28, 2014 • 49 min
Kris and Kole talk about travel, outbreaks, and skulls. ALSO: Macho Man telephone greeting. Lost my bookmarks in the moby. All over weather. Portland adventure. A truly public restroom. Airline story. A serious discussion about Ebola. No German has ever…
153: Father of 5-4-3-2-1
Oct 22, 2014 • 42 min
Kris and Kole talk about antiquated executions, burial, and peanut allergies. ALSO: Too many beers and WHAM. SPYT. Root cellar. Death by elephant. Bobby “Two Strike” Cokehead. Here’s dad’s coffin. Horse hypotheses. You can’t name your kid that. The truth…
152: LISIS: See the Clown
Oct 15, 2014 • 51 min
Kris and Kole talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder, frolf, and malt liquor. ALSO: A deadline on your stress. The Drug Mart Bus. Every receipt tells a story. A Seasonal Affective Disorder Fleshlight. Secretary synopsis. Profiles in Frolfing. Shocks the…
151: Showcase Hoedown
Oct 7, 2014 • 50 min
Kris and Kole talk about salvage, war criminals, and epidemiology. ALSO: A document of modern day love. Life straw for tommy. A head in a bag. Rudy Giuliani Defends Call of Duty from Manuel Noriega. Sharon Osborn’s secret. Real Life Newman. Drinking…
150: Dennehy Raft
Sep 30, 2014 • 54 min
Kris and Kole talk about carpentry, hydrodynamics, and sanity checks. ALSO: A podcast for carpenters. Raft or boat? Welcome to the world of AIDS. Leg Lamp. The deadliest garden. Foul mouthed priest. Where’s the body? The wrong grave.
149: Cranky Ska
Sep 2, 2014 • 49 min
Kris and Kole talk about gamers, burns, and organ rights. ALSO: Air VnA. Game people are the worst. K-PAX. You’re going to be so delicious. All of the HIV is in the eyes. The Fire Challenge and Your Taint is Fine. One eye is good enough. Drone range.…
148: I Have No Bones and I Must Walk
Aug 26, 2014 • 49 min
Kris and Kole talk about national tragedy, Disney World, and the commerce of comfort. ALSO: Grew up in a box. Catch your own errors and Hippo Laws. Seven Layer Depression Dips. Adventures in Ferguson. Slandering Kole. Kris’s Disney Adventure. Amputee…
147: Yo Yomega Ma
Aug 19, 2014 • 43 min
Kris and Kole talk about remembrance, compulsion, and currency. ALSO: Grocery store dance party. Lithgow villains. Hot tub logistics. Searing slander of Guy Fieri. He’s real sad about him, and his own obituary. The Narcissism Question. Alcohol at gun…
146: Willie Pete
Aug 12, 2014 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about bad radio, war crimes, and instant death. ALSO: Misguided acrostics and bad radio. My craft beer brings all the boys to the yard. Willie Pete. Sambuca. The Pavlok. Octopus mating rituals. Brown recluse spiders are on the rise.…
145: The Mayor of Wrong
Aug 5, 2014 • 47 min
Kris and Kole talk about whiling the hours away, juvenile bucket lists, and Night Kole. ALSO: Kris’s exorbitant cam. Wasting our lives. I know what a bucket list is. A better class of drunk. Gingham Styles. Simpsons World. Jesus was not jewish? I’m not…
144: Tank Bronson, M.D.
Jul 29, 2014 • 35 min
Kris and Kole talk about manhood, missing brothers, and fantasy. ALSO: Teaching Kole to be a man. Electric razors? Cee Lo teaching Sean Combs to be hard. Tongue Phrenologist. Wrestle move wiki. Drinking and status. I wish you were Josh so bad. Sharing…
143: The Exhaust Pipe
Jul 22, 2014 • 42 min
Kris and Kole talk about white supremacy, small businesses, and taking inventory. ALSO: It’s like a simile. Kris starts the Simpsons dive. Keeping the good boxes. Becoming a new kind of person. Jason Biggs can’t be the Afleck Duck anymore. Eat a bowl of…
142: Briny Steep
Jun 17, 2014 • 38 min
Kris and Kole talk about Muppet hierarchies, celebrity injuries, and produce. Suggested Talking Points: The candy store. A grim hypothetical. The collective noun for nuns. Debating Fozzie’s place in the house. Our setups. Tracey Morgan, accidents, and…
141: A Cranstonian Body
Jun 10, 2014 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about cultural osmosis, further atrocities, and policy. Suggested Talking Points: Too much toothpaste, too little beer. Stop treating your podcast like it’s a job. Sports things when you know them. Sin tax for stadium upkeep. What did…
140: Clown Chair
Jun 3, 2014 • 36 min
Kris and Kole talk about novelty beers, Holocaust denial, and mass shootings. Suggested Talking Points: Kris drinks clown beer. Kris imitates every other show on the network. On that paper chase (I’m a fancy boy). Who did Daniel Day Lewis kill to earn the…
139: Catacomb
May 27, 2014 • 48 min
Kris and Kole talk about forbidden language, forbidden food, and forbidden bees. Suggested Talking Points: Pauly Shore’s sex tape. Wet Hot American Seth. Kim Jong Un’s candy-flip and enema giver. Technology has strong opinions. The return of the quiz!…
138: The Pad Pad
May 20, 2014 • 24 min
Kris and Kole talk about technosexuality, drug policy, and then peace out because nodding off. Suggested Talking Points: Simpsons report. Kris did sizzurp. Would you have sex with a robot? airTHC. We’ve instituted a no-hitting policy. Kris taps out.…
137: Bull Rider Fighter
May 13, 2014 • 38 min
Kris and Kole talk about marital aid evangelism, sea life, and infant sorrow. Suggested Talking Points: Extruded chicken death. Use yah blinkah. Kris’s sex toy dream. A fantasy fishing show hallucination. I was a 45 year old dir track racer. Pending whale…
136: Cream Pie for Larry
May 6, 2014 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about privation, haste, and grandma shows. Suggested Talking Points: Weak iced tea. Kole doesn’t want to leave the house. A club card is the sign of being an adult. Wake up to birds. The fastest elevator in the “I’m Not Even Going to…
135: Samurai Burt’s Fun-Time Eyeball Experience
Apr 29, 2014 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about stalking, the Simpsons, and duck theft. Suggested Talking Points: For the sizzurp. People care. People care enough to Swimfan Kris. Kole’s gonna ‘Bay. Drinkin’ bird and reinventing the bowl. Early Simpsons is different than Late…
134: Clear Hanky, Front Right Pocket
Apr 22, 2014 • 52 min
Kris and Kole talk about belated mourning, acceptance, and institutional violence. Suggested Talking Points: Harold Ramis and the Surplus Bebops. First of all, I’m a Brony. Hot Pocket Love. I am Ibrahim. Dildofish continent. Prom/College fakeout.…
133: Jesus Couldn’t Tap
Apr 15, 2014 • 49 min
Kris and Kole talk about the depressing Jetsons future, marketing, and haute cuisine. ALSO: Hyperpanic Chamber. Stage II Synchronicity. Talkin’ shit about Jack Black. Carbon Fiber Future. Where were you when Dale died? Native Americaesque.…
132: Skeletons Are a Legitimate Threat
Apr 1, 2014 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about making memories, aeronautics, and witchcraft. Suggested Talking Points: Making Memories. A River Runs Through the Saddest Alcohol Event. Skeletons are a legitimate threat. Gamify Spotify. “They”. Astronaut condom sizes.…
131: The Illusion of Steering
Mar 25, 2014 • 43 min
Kris and Kole talk about futility, finance, and palindromes. Suggested Talking Points: Let’s not make this about poop or vaginas. The anniversary and futility. Mtn Dew Cheetos. Read this without laughing. Drive the booze off. Kris bought a Keurig. A bike…
130: The Crown of Flames
Mar 19, 2014 • 39 min
Kris and Kole talk about altercations with the police, nautical law, and body art. Suggested Talking Points: Thumb drumming. Watching too much COPS. Tragic stories and Kole being a dick to his neighbors. Coat hangar pendant. Baby chutes and nautical law.…
129: Let’s Just Feel This Tomorrow
Mar 11, 2014 • 50 min
Kris and Kole talk about the collective perverted subconscious, brewing, and clowning around. Suggested Talking Points: It’s my domain. PornMD search stream. Chili Day. Zohydro. Hospital Monster (thanks Jon!). Gut fermentation syndrome. Chopper’s Bitch.…
128: A Bad Case of the Scoops
Mar 4, 2014 • 51 min
Kris and Kole talk about a time in every man’s life, infusion, and gender politics. Suggested Talking Points: Reached a the turkey point. We’ve been using genie powers for years OR Darrin Was an Ad Man. Achey Breaky Remix. Frito Memorial. Pissbots. Double…
127: Operation Wally Drop
Feb 25, 2014 • 57 min
Kris and Kole talk about fame, drug policy, and the style at the time. Links of Note: Cheese Nips. Progeria ward. Bieber’s Weed Plane. The Necknominatikon. Death from above. Horse Viagra. Crack Pipe. Too hot for the internet. Exploding our preconceptions.…
126: Carbon Date This Rock
Feb 18, 2014 • 57 min
Kris and Kole talk about creationism, bronyism, and spiritual happenings. Suggested Talking Points: I don’t know what to do about that. A poll about Kole. Camels don’t exist. A frank and serious conversation about Creationism. Lean Pocket, defined. When I…
125: El Luchacabra
Feb 11, 2014 • 42 min
Kris and Kole talk about John Ratzinger, priopriety, and sleeper agents. Suggested Talking Points: I watched COPS instead. John Ratzinger is a national treasure. Hybrid Vigor. Little Wayne and literary devices. Smell Yo Dick. Swearing in the American…
124: Distance Knife
Feb 4, 2014 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about the cosmic secrets we gun down, new apps, and predation. Suggested Talking Points: We made a tactical error. God has doves, Satan has crows. Mucus tasting mass. It’s not racial, it’s a distance knife. Don’t ask me why I set myself…
123: The Pounding Continues
Aug 6, 2013 • 40 min
Kris and Kole talk about academic dishonesty, fulfillment, and minimum wage. Suggested Talking Points: Keep pounding. An academic sham. The Pounding Continues. Hop up on this toxic dick. Coffee stops suicide. He got what he wanted, then died. Stay down.…
122: Altruistic Ridges
Jul 30, 2013 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about recovery, loss, and victory. Suggested Talking Points: Circling the Horses. I Don’t Get Sleep. 1 day of night. Moon rock heist. B. Donk A. Donk. Magic Thumbs. The Price is Right for a Baby. Losing the internet. A handsy puzzle.…
121: Schrödinger’s Vigoda
Jul 23, 2013 • 49 min
Kris and Kole talk about their hiatus, coincidence, and genetic diversity. Suggested Talking Points: Enough mescaline. Hiatus. Follow me sandals, atheist boots. The most coincidental drunk pileup. Florida outlaws mermaid. Raisin reserve. Rhincest. Gold’s…
120: All’s Fair in Love and GWAR
Jun 25, 2013 • 39 min
Kris and Kole talk about trophies, the Singularity, and Caddy Shack. Suggested Talking Points: Giving ball. Gumption crossing. You never let go of the trophy. Party Barn. Baby Hal. Ergo, toot. Poop car. Buyin’ a spot. Caddyshack is overrated. I just want…
119: Currant Events
Jun 18, 2013 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about live entertainment, conspiracies, and old television. Suggested Talking Points: BPM. Taking my ball and going home. Mr. T Facts. Live entertainment. Currant events. Hypothetical Upskirt. Sam Squanch. Conspiracy stats. Burn the…
118: It’s a Ficus
Jun 11, 2013 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about city struggles, snack food, and pandemics. Suggested Talking Points Net ball. No friends. The anatomy of a Pringle. Parking story, or “Give Me Your Hair”. Prints of the Internet. Nothing but Trouble. MERS. Lies for sale. Addicted…
117: Smooth Sailing
Jun 4, 2013 • 47 min
Kris and Kole talk about opulence, celebrity, and gender. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Scott Baio’s real voice. Arrested Development Season 4. Wheel of Fortune spinnaz. A small bit of actual advice. Pam’s World. Horse Port. PSH, on H. Hollywood Korner.…
116: knives.co.us.au.org.
May 28, 2013 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about Christian children’s programming, alternative food sources, and self esteem. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: You’re (part of) the problem. Who is Danny Aiello. McGee & Me. knives.co.us.au.org. Smallest Penis in Brooklyn. Cargo skirt.…
115: Cone Alone
May 21, 2013 • 38 min
Kris and Kole talk about feeders, courtship, and grill maintenence. LINKS OF NOTE: Fake court. Thanks Obama. Feeders. I hope I don’t die in this car. A bachelor’s in homely studies. Never clean your grill. Thumb orgasm. Pinterest Stress.
114: Lawry Don’t Wear a Robe
May 14, 2013 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about imminent danger, loyalty, and survival. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: STYLUS. Free Range Furby Farms. Turn off your push notifications. The Pussy Posse. The Plan is used for drugs. Marge Simpson is dead. Meningitis snails. The bike…
113: Naming a Banjo Band
Apr 23, 2013 • 40 min
Kris and Kole talk about national tragedy, genetic diversity, and dimensions. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: I pitch over windmills. We did it. Emergency Donut Services. Accidental Incest. Honeymoons Over My Hammy. Give this baby a gun. The Nest. Boob…
112: A Book With Two Rooms
Apr 16, 2013 • 37 min
Kris and Kole talk about birds, bird pictures, and sending bird pictures. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Sending bird pictures to Kris. Heroin is a problem. Executive ear popping service. Previous Nectar Gun. The sound of your voice. All the planet’s…
111: God Gave Them Bones
Apr 9, 2013 • 42 min
Kris and Kole talk about food, mostly. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Wrecked on absinthe. Running out of gas. Song for the end of the world. A wreck. Shandy. Sexmurderer for hire. The skate park paradox. Kris’s shameful admission. The benefits of olive oil.…
110: By the Light of a Barrel Fire
Apr 2, 2013 • 50 min
Kris and Kole talk about the geology of pornography, ethnic grocers, and odds. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Foam Factory. Setting the hook. Porn map. Designer colostomy bags. The Ice Cream Bandit. Asian grocer story and five pounds of rice. Man shoots self,…
109: Parker Lewis Quits Booze
Mar 19, 2013 • 48 min
Kris and Kole talk about religious conspiracies, political affiliation, and personal doomsdays. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Kole is out of his element. Parker Lewis Quits Booze. The child actor Christian conspiracy. Off to a bad start with an Indiana high…
108: Mid-Air Drunken Wiffle Ball Tournament
Mar 12, 2013 • 43 min
Kris and Kole talk about air travel, religion, and making your mark. Suggested Talking Points: Maynard G. Krebs. Your bad day? MY bad day! Wacky air travel stories. The Pope’s Golden Years. Drink from this billboard. An exceptional latitude. Six degrees…
107: Brown Out
Mar 5, 2013 • 41 min
Kris and Kole talk about fundraisers, traumatic middleschool memories, and spontaneous combustion. Suggested Talking Points: The decision to shave your soul patch. Burger Gulag. Lottery winning meth explosion. A moment about the money room. Praise God,…
106: The Dim Candle of Your Remaining Life
Feb 26, 2013 • 40 min
Kris and Kole talk about being out of touch, gender politics, and classic art. Suggested Talking Points: Effort? Eating chips wrong. Missing out on Rubio. Melon baller. Out of touch. Dildo sharpener. 3D Printers: Real? I’m not man enough to be a woman.…
105: A Yeti With a Log
Feb 19, 2013 • 61 min
Kris and Kole talk about paradoxes, grooming, and animal control. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Kris is sick. Chancre. The nug paradox. Regarding meteors. Sodastream protips. Waiting for the third seven. Let it bee. Pube Island. Straight people have different…
104: All John Hughes, All the Time
Feb 5, 2013 • 52 min
Kris and Kole talk about policy, compromise, and attention spans. Suggested Talking Points: Party groping. The Ferris Bueller Theory. Five Guys, alone. You should be ashamed of being sick. Good luck getting Clarence Thomas to speak. No-murder week. Be…
103: Was the Baby Okay?
Jan 29, 2013 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about tragedies, mistakes, and snowmen. Suggested Talking Points: Installed anxiety. Ghost poops and your window to the world. SOUND WORLD. Making fun of a couple hundred people dying. Lock-ins. Death by eggs. Community for ladies in a…
102: I’m Here for the TV
Jan 22, 2013 • 59 min
Kris and Kole talk about cinema, fantasies, and catharsis. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Hot air. No podcasts in LA. Wrong names for shows. Cagney and Spacey. Combuxtable Huxtable. Kole is shockingly underprepared. Pubic facts. Horse burgers. Magic…
101: Patty Melt
Jan 8, 2013 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about nomenclature, motivational speakers, and disappointment. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Patty Melt. The Etymology of Frosh. I’m Dan Davis, Captain of the Football Team! The Lieutenant Dan Band. Modern art weapons. One Pound Fish. Throw…
100: Strictly Platonic
Jan 1, 2013 • 49 min
Kris and Kole talk about relationship advice, atrocities, and our hundredth episode. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Melancholy. Episode 100, sometimes funny. Strictly Platonic Butt Stuff. Healthy neuroticism. The world needs psychopaths. Vintage atrocities.…
99: Werther’s Original, Defined
Dec 26, 2012 • 45 min
Kris and Kole talk about hydration, the void, and eugenics. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Dan Rather and the News Squad. Delicious water. The construction of a Kris Ross joke. Wherein Kris doesn’t know what crumping is. Wurther’s Original, defined. Your…
98: This is Not My Beautiful Prison
Dec 18, 2012 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about misunderstood films, synchronicity, and neuroses. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Audible. George Clooney is Leatherface. Titanium Geraniums. The vodka gummy bear tradition. A wool butt pad. Women’s prisons, in sync. You can do the…
97: Kole’s Lonely Christmas
Dec 11, 2012 • 44 min
Kris and Kole talk about childhood theft, film, and how to protect against fraud. LINKS OF NOTE: Kole’s Lonely Christmas, continued. The Chipotle Conspiracy. A struggle to comprehend. Chemo doll. This is my padlock flail and I’m going home. Octopussy. The…
96: I Smoked Claudia
Dec 4, 2012 • 36 min
Kris and Kole talk about celebrities, tech news, and self esteem. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Brad Pitt and Mike Tyson are eskimo brothers. Dolly Parton doesn’t look like Dolly Parton. TECH NEWS CORNER: iTunes 11? Zooey Deschanel died in the crossfire.…
95: Robert Loggia’s Aristocrats
Nov 27, 2012 • 78 min
Kris and Kole talk about loneliness, the coming holiday onslaught, and body image. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Sound check and the traveling podman. Home for the holidays, Kole’s lonely Christmas. Is dolphin killing a national pastime? Illegal dentistry and…
94: One Long Beep
Nov 20, 2012 • 49 min
Kris and Kole talk about alternate lives, independence, and our spiral into stupidity as a species. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Lee Marvin’s Lake House. Senator Rogue Orc. Succeed to secede. I’ll take this car and your job. Twitter Beef. Rejecting the…
93: I Want to Play With Your Clock
Nov 13, 2012 • 46 min
Kris and Kole talk about self reliance, chidren’s television, and historical fiction. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Beer, meat, and lookin’ good. Sexting advice. Jenny McCarthy: Known dendrophiliac. Bronyshopping. The biggest gummy worm. Cincinnati newswoman…
92: Slimy Lightning
Oct 30, 2012 • 46 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about samurai, reptiles, and perversion. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: That’s a show. An intermittent Kole. Blind elderly samurai. Sunscreen burn. Coupon-funded first dates. Reptile Van. Talk to the freezer. THE SCIENCE ZONE:…
91: Bachmann-Palin Crazy Eyes
Oct 23, 2012 • 45 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about Jungle Jim’s, celebrity sex, and conspiracies. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Robot Podcast. Jungle Jim’s. Liz Taylor, Ronald Reagan, Vivian Vance, Frank Sinatra, and Unsolved Mysteries. Roaches for Glory. “Some girls __…
90: This Lonely Iteration
Oct 16, 2012 • 49 min
The longest Kris. Expanding and contracting. Skidmark Dora. Kole got an iron. The Drudge Factor and the Huffpo’boy. The Day the Beats Died. The law that outlawed smiles. Stay off the liquid nitrogen (Gastro-Dub). Return of the Butt Chug. When the internet…
89: A Sidewalk for the Air
Oct 9, 2012 • 53 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about courage under duress, the last circus, and routines. Suggested Talking Points: Cinder block rights. Corn maize. Kris’s basement disaster. Missing adults. Two cars in every garage, and a chicken in every mailbox.…
88: Has Anybody Here Seen Wally?
Oct 2, 2012 • 44 min
Excuse the audio quality in this week’s episode. We couldn’t record, so we had to dig up a lost episode. We did the best we could. Sorry. Suggested Talking Points: The lost. 86. A spoiled little emperor. How pandas piss. Terminally awesome. Indian giving.…
87: Busty Latina Glasses
Sep 18, 2012 • 45 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about radiant heat, rapping dogs, and toddler pugilism. Suggested Talking Points: Acrylic Mink. Warming my hands on your genitals. Toddler Fight Club. An endless digression about Parappa the Rapper. Social Security hollow…
86: The Complete Breakfast Solution
Sep 11, 2012 • 49 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about old TV shows, obsessing, and fears (again). Suggested Talking Point: BITS. What a to do. Kole messed up. Shoot the moon. Winnie Cooper is a math lady now. Oktoberfest in danger. Scientologists take Nam. Detergent…
85: Story Gourd
Aug 21, 2012 • 33 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about the gay underground railroad, vitamin back, and jail booty. Suggested Talking Points: Offending dolphins. Kris is growing as a person. Take away the gay babies (Life is hard when you are strange). GPS Shoes. Beer…
84: Episode 84: Bobbing for Mana
Aug 14, 2012 • 31 min
Wherein those damn Ross Kids talk about family, compromise, and being cool. Suggested Talking Points: Keep it rolling. The Blowjob Fairy (not intended to be a slur). The Gathering of the Juggalos. 2012 Election Watch: Domain Name Wars. Tractor…
83: What That Says About the Philippines
Aug 7, 2012 • 32 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about mysterious gunwomen, very public restrooms, and recreation. Suggested Talking Points: Female boxers in the Phillipines. Mysterious possibly Asian gunwoman. That gator bit your hand off, you fed him. “I Cannot Be…
82: The First Rule of Woodshed
Jul 31, 2012 • 39 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about doing your job, bad booze, and cutting your own hair. Suggested Talking Points: Kris was late. Heavy on the banter. Russian religious hooliganism. Math is hard, so stop it. How to Get Licensed to Do Your Job: Show…
81: Universal Juice Truths
Jul 26, 2012 • 53 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about tubing, psychopaths, and foot enthusiasts. Suggested Talking Points: WKOLE. More cowbell, less cowbell. Can ban. Chinaman penis removal. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. Road-bound animal killers. A War on Satanists. I’m…
80: Elmo’s Ether Frolick
Jul 10, 2012 • 34 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about bee stings, empathy, and adventure. Suggested Talking Points: Talking Jive. Summer Rental. 50 Cent: The Goose. Grift of the Magi. Bee stings. Mini golf water hazard (fatal electrocution). Smart phone work addiction.…
79: Separation of Power and State
Jul 3, 2012 • 45 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about Scott Baio, urination, and Blank Check. Suggested Talking Points: Are you the same person? Power outage survival strategies. Responsible talking urinal cakes. The Bigger Lebowski. Public urination billboard.…
78: Cut-Up (TM)
Jun 27, 2012 • 39 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about identifying bodies, brewing, and legislation. Suggested Talking Points: You interrupted me. A groping of opportunity. Tattooed Grandsons. I ain’t no CSI. Shot through the Brain. Someone is doing terrorism against my…
77: The Alleged Keyboard
Jun 12, 2012 • 49 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about chairs, condiments, and how awful the both of them are. Suggested Talking Points: Mystery sound. Reagan’s blood. Sorry, Chair. SCIENCE ZONE: Ketchup Lube. Constantly Covered with Cats. 20 gauge Super Soaker.…
76: Tall Pig
Jun 5, 2012 • 45 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about cannibalism, dolphin parties, and creamy middles. Suggested Talking Points: Beard scratching contest. Late-night karaoke murder. Eat my face (Via Sasha). Sharp Dressed Pig. Ferris wheel for downs. Dub step dolphins.…
75: The Hamburger Angling Association
May 28, 2012 • 45 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about universes, urine thresholds, and salad. Suggested Talking Points: Hat envy. Willy Wonka = George Bush? SCIENCE ZONE: Black Holes, Singularities, and Infinite Universes. Don’t piss on that fish. FTC: Stop Dressing…
74: Snazzy Slacks
May 22, 2012 • 41 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about religious figures, phantom limbs, and murder. Suggested Talking Points: A little hot. The Dalai Lama is afraid of flying. Porn City. Catheter catastrophe. Spin cycle. I filled out the horse. Pron/m. Library courtesy…
73: Birds of Our Fathers
May 15, 2012 • 50 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about children’s books, citizenship, and deer. Suggested Talking Points: We have an intro already (the worst person). Little Bear slaughtered the Boxcar Children. Take these nude pics of me, Mom. Moonwalk at gunpoint.…
72: No No, Kole, Don’t Talk
May 1, 2012 • 46 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about matricide, conditions, and the surrogate Kole. Kole was incredibly inebriated for this episode. Forgiveness please. Suggested Talking Points: Pirates on deck. Keep that sex offender away from my grandma. Robots,…
71: Half the Kids in This Octagon Could Get a Gun
Apr 24, 2012 • 38 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about substances, minerals, and childhood crime. Suggested Talking Points: Bulk bag. Chinplant Mania. Coke overdose. Accura: Not Too Dark. Shred your toads. I can get a handgun if I want. Rename this pond. Phantom…
70: He Just Snapped
Apr 18, 2012 • 44 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about eyewear, odors, and golf. Suggested Talking Points: We’re not having the same conversation. Bleach fights and soap stories. The nerd defense. The panties of neglected Japanese wives. Fantasy maid service. OTR is…
69: I Have Preferences, Not Standards
Apr 3, 2012 • 43 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about sleeping disorders, novelty food, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Suggested Talking Points: Deep nosing. Sexsomnia. Hunger Games Robots. The Boom Stick Hotdog. Big Pop. A Hill of Beans. Hootie’s bag crimes.…
68: Death Potato
Mar 27, 2012 • 40 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about conveyance, fragrances, supernatural spelling. Suggested Talking Points: Isolation chamber. Kazakhstan demands a full investigation. 5 pounds of heroin in your tummy. Don’t legislate my penis. Eau de Pope. Sex toys,…
67: Death Wish Airlines
Mar 20, 2012 • 38 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about volume, aviation, and discipline. ALSO: Needle Hand. Whispering coach. Charles Bronson in the Love Guru. The Shut-Up Gun. Arson spree night out. Silent Halls. Just kill anyone. HitmanForHire.com. Gas leak…
66: My Name is Stumps, and I’m the Best
Mar 6, 2012 • 40 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about lives cut tragically short, Denny’s, and Cheers. Suggested Talking Points: Car wash stomp. Mohel herpes. Middle school murder. Rear-view cameras to be required. This is my Denny’s now. DUI and a butt plug. Drunk…
65: Simple Times
Feb 28, 2012 • 29 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about ancient candies, life hacks, and condiments. Suggested Talking Points: A podcast called Wanda. The worst story. Atomic fireballs. Community guns. Life Hacks: Claw Machine Tips. Tax loophole incest? The Reese’s…
64: Just Put Some Math on It
Feb 21, 2012 • 27 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about being subdued, the logistics of chainsaw murder, and cheap beer. Suggested Talking Points: No intro. Panty study. Heart Attack Grill. The logistics of chainsaw murder. Pong Beer Pong. Duff Beer. Outlawing cheap…
63: An Unending Parade of Steves
Feb 14, 2012 • 35 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about new formats, bullying, and career decisions. uggested Talking Points: Continuing the format. Self immolation. When pajamas are outlawed. What does your wardrobe say about you? Monster is laying people off. No…
62: My Prius is Melting
Feb 7, 2012 • 36 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about the human heart, dangerous games, and travel. Suggested Talking Points: Routine. Home births up, and the Great Outdoors. Two hearts. Gay marry this building. My Prius is Melting. Beer halls. The Toylet and up skirt…
61: He Was an Outdoor Clown
Jan 24, 2012 • 47 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about wizards, economics, and drinking. Suggested Talking Points: Spoiler: He Never Leaves. Marijuana Wizards. No more pets. Drunk pilots and the Estrada Conspiracy. Foodstamps for people who hate poor people. Great…
60: Shame On You, Owen Wilson
Jan 17, 2012 • 45 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about semantics, art theft, and body image. Suggested Talking Points: The Geek Squad. Mission Statement. No matter how slight. Shame on you, Owen Wilson. Ghetto-averse GPS. The great ranch conspiracy. I’ll eat you and…
59: He Has a Robot Head
Jan 10, 2012 • 43 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about bodily functions, fantasy, and currency. Suggested Talking Points: Belch Brothers. The Santa Shortcut. Back room liposuction. Upside-down childbirth. Drunk impulse buying. A lepidopterist of knives. The healing bag.…
58: My Basement Princess!
Jan 3, 2012 • 45 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about pronunciation, coffee, and martians. Suggested Talking Points: Dark and windy. Francis Frostman. Ungyun. Banished words 2011. Smurf Town. New Year’s Bird Panic. Gay Coffee. The Grand Target Nurse-In. Rashomon, and…
57: Don’t Stop in Murderville
Dec 27, 2011 • 44 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about swimming pools, elitism, and public safety. Suggested Talking Points: I’m not on the microphone. “Public Swimming Pool. Whites Only”. A long time ago, in a parking lot far, far away. Scent of a Woman With Gonorrhea.…
56: Snooker and the Reconciliation
Dec 20, 2011 • 46 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about assault, Christmas memories, and possession. Suggested Talking Points: Ridin’ the fadaz. Are you okay? God was a hard act to follow. Give me Bieber or DIE. A sad story about people attempting to make light of rape.…
55: Why is There an Eye in My Stool?
Dec 13, 2011 • 46 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about spontaneous combustion, parasites, and swearing. Suggested Talking Points: Pungee spikes and a Hollywood Education. Burst into flames for no apparent reason. A tragic misunderstanding with a gun and AIDS. Voicemail:…
54: Where Are They Getting This Acid?
Dec 6, 2011 • 41 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about misguided holiday cheer, atheism, and cellular hygiene. Suggested Talking Points: Pure Imagination. Ombudsmen. Frosty attacks! Michael Keaton is the Sean Connery of Batman. Snakes alive! Where are they getting this…
53: The Wordplay Light
Nov 29, 2011 • 41 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about emotional needs, anthropology, and air travel. Suggested Talking Points: Story roll call. Vodka gummy bears. Teacher abuses special needs student. Millionaire janitor fired. Santa fired. Sleep texting. First cousin…
52: Do the Ninja
Nov 22, 2011 • 43 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about discipline, body disposal, and ad hoc cosmetic surgery. Suggested Talking Points: WhyDaddyDrinks.info. No Greater Joy Than Hitting Your Kids. Katana Alert: Spurned Love. Werewolf sex. Emily Post for the modern age.…
51: Et tu, Inkjet?
Nov 15, 2011 • 44 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about inappropriate jokes, failed technologies, and their academic struggles. Suggested Talking Points: Sound collage. Reinfecting our tongues. Offensive joke. Juggalo story. Psi ops against an arabic used car dealer in…
50: Larp King’s Lap Cat
Nov 8, 2011 • 39 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about gangs, population control, and revenge. Suggested Talking Points: Running for mayor. We’re sick. The Corduroy Savior. Juggalos classified as a gang. The LARP King’s Lap Cat. Man sues to have photographer recreate…
49: Fried Egg Phil
Oct 25, 2011 • 42 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about Big Foot, alchemy, and dance troupes. Suggested Talking Points: I hit a bat with my car. Japanese nurse tears out toenails. Woman claims to feed a family of Big Foots. Pastor: masturbating is homosexual. Getting…
48: Taco Wallet
Oct 18, 2011 • 35 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about animal rights, amateur eye surgery, and primitive social networking. Suggested Talking Points: Axel Foley Artist. Baby X. PETA porn. Taco ID, Taco Wallet. Stolen bridges, stolen hydrants. Man rips his own eyes out.…
47: Octopie
Oct 11, 2011 • 42 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about unemployment, metal music, and gold. Suggested Talking Points: Are we recording? The Midnight Society. Why naked? Why not? Third place: You’re fired. Boo Boo Prius and the Ice Road Murderer. The Science Zone: Fish…
46: Human Head, I Presume?
Oct 4, 2011 • 35 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about public services, church, and prison. Suggested Talking Points: Magneto. Kole’s rush. Santa Shawn. Firetruck porn. Dollar General beer. Go to church or go to jail. Weekend at Bernie’s 3. Wedding Crasher prank. The…
45: Cancer Arrows
Sep 27, 2011 • 42 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about their anniversary, hobbies, and medical breakthroughs. Suggested Talking Points: Stop quoting me. Kris’s sundry discarded hobbies. Feeder Mommy. Seasteading. Dude or Not-a-Dude? What’s Facebook more important than?…
44: Bottoms Up, Baby
Sep 20, 2011 • 43 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about global clowns, Lifetime movie concepts, and missing children. Suggested Talking Points: Moon medicine. A fashionista dies before his time. Satellite may crash into earth. Marriage on the Rocks. Killed by McDonald’s…
43: Fully Functional Cake Car
Sep 13, 2011 • 37 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about cake programming, Ayn Rand, and surprise orgies. Suggested Talking Points: Thesaurus. 9/11 cakes. Stoner Ave. Gumby, dammit. The Pamper’s Indicator. Gas station restroom apology purchase. Surprising causes of…
42: The International Tickle Me Elmo Spirit Awards
Sep 6, 2011 • 53 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about new equipment, old people, and taxation. Suggested Talking Points: A bear named burden. New equipment and the Tickle Me Elmo Spirit Award. A sandbox for adults, a playground for adults. Vampire Cruise. Boom box…
41: Planet Diamondopscopus
Aug 30, 2011 • 41 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about genetic engineering, body image, and the digerido. Suggested Talking Points: Word pairings. Shit for distance. How he wanted to go: crushed by a tractor. Schroedinger’s septic truck. Bull semen shuts down highway.…
40: Never Sleep Again
Aug 23, 2011 • 51 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about extreme coupling, breaking up, and flash mobs. Suggested Talking Points: Too drunk for a demolition derby. Deep fried burger. The best (worst) neighbor. If you’re driving shirtless, you’re guilty. Extreme couponing…
39: Dough Nation
Aug 16, 2011 • 54 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about the new 911, autobiographies, and Amish romance. Suggested Talking Points: Where is Kole’s new studio? Africa. Can I sext 911? Sales tax holidays. Quiz: Warrant song, Celebrity Autobiography, or Fake? Wherein Kris…
38: Maintenance Bear
Aug 9, 2011 • 54 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about Buddhists, energy drinks, and sitting down to pee. Suggested Talking Points: The most depressing conveyance. Buddhists save lobsters for karmic multipliers. Here’s your medal, now where’s my $20? Sneak Some Zucchini…
37: Chair, Electric
Jul 26, 2011 • 59 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about snack frustrations, sewage systems, and parasites. Suggested Talking Points: Relax. Three and a Half Hours. The Amazing Time Traveling Doctor. Nurse puts patient photos on Facebook. Obvs. The awesomest troll in…
36: A Pizza Man With Pizza Hands
Jul 19, 2011 • 56 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about hygiene, tickling, and ball bearings. Suggested Talking Points: Re: The Woodchipper. Meta. Customer service. Child pornographer gets unlimited access to child porn in prison. Mom cleans kids with pool chemicals.…
35: The Puppydome
Jul 12, 2011 • 55 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about hypnotism, space, and prison. Suggested Talking Points: Get a towel. Drunken puppy pickup ban. Heat wave and John Candy. Spot the Fake Construction Term. Protractors in Pittsburgh. Dead for 8 years, no one notices.…
34: Loaded Drawers of Skeleton Salsa
Jul 5, 2011 • 61 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about birthday cake, magic, and virginity. Suggested Talking Points: Elephants. A great day to be a duck with an affected accent. Worst Day Ever: Dickshots. Bluetooth Earpieces: A Black Conspiracy? Illinois Prison, Dirty…
33: Amazing Larry
Jun 28, 2011 • 61 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about our sick society, rubicons, and sexpresso. Suggested Talking Points: Podcast defense system. Props to the homebrew. Why not, let’s talk about gay marriage. Family friendly prison uniforms. World War II vet marries…
32: Disgruntled Ham Shopper
Jun 21, 2011 • 62 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about genetic engineering, body image, and the digerido. Suggested Talking Points: Word pairings. Shit for distance. How he wanted to go: crushed by a tractor. Schroedinger’s septic truck. Bull semen shuts down highway.…
31: Mensa for Dummies
Jun 14, 2011 • 55 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about extreme coupling, breaking up, and flash mobs. Suggested Talking Points: Too drunk for a demolition derby. Deep fried burger. The best (worst) neighbor. If you’re driving shirtless, you’re guilty. Extreme couponing…
30: Serberttt!
Jun 7, 2011 • 60 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about elementary school, werewolves, and party mistakes. Suggested Talking Points: Taking my ball in glowing home. Elementary School. Teacher pees in classroom in front of kids. Man pays medical bill with pennies.…
29: 30ft High Club
May 31, 2011 • 50 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about unconventional love, bodily fluids, and the terrifying ocean. Suggested Talking Points: The Soundtrack of Summer 2011. Daddy I’m Having a Hard Time. Park bench love and the everlasting terror boner. Picnic table…
28: Contraband Bologna
May 24, 2011 • 51 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about festivals, brand loyalty, and genius. Suggested Talking Points: Shirtless. Chinese breast tea. Piss jugs in the ice cream truck. The sniper prank. Spot the fake festival. Mechaphilia. Brand loyalty kills…
27: Caramel Lecter
May 17, 2011 • 57 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about poorly translated branding, the Challenger Deep, and amateur dentistry. Suggested Talking Points: High Energy. Lost in Translation. Eight Year Old Botox. The List. Sexting, Blackmail, and Cream of Sexism. The world…
26: Moon Train
May 10, 2011 • 54 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about the naked chicken bandit, drunk texting, and physical challenges. Suggested Talking Points: New microphones. The show is too long. Happy Meals. Marketing to flash mobs. Hotel mourning Osama bin Laden? The beard vow.…
25: Dos Argumentos Grandes
May 9, 2011 • 53 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about taking a punch for a buck, asian cuisine, and fear of puppets. Suggested Talking Points: Don’t lie to me. Shower treadmill. Bringing back Home Alone. Man in panda suit takes punches for a buck. Persistent genital…
24: Fatal Familial Insecurity
Apr 19, 2011 • 51 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about tax season, insomnia, and snake bites. Suggested Talking Points: Sweat Lodge. Submarine Races and Nautical by Nature.* Drunk Toddlers. Reverse custody battle. What is a human life worth. Florida has a government? A…
23: Nautical by Nature
Apr 12, 2011 • 62 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids get serious about human life, the elderly, and Sesame Street. Suggested Talking Points: Sweat Lodge. Submarine Races and Nautical by Nature.* Drunk Toddlers. Reverse custody battle. What is a human life worth. Florida has a…
22: Prejudiced Birds
Apr 5, 2011 • 63 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about playing vampire, the end the universe, and gangsta math. Suggested Talking Points: The Sneeze Coach. Evil Robert Duvall and Monkey Paw Soup. Bullshit and the American hero. Breast milk ice-cream and the Cold Stone…
21: Trash Lung
Mar 29, 2011 • 55 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids evangelize about clown crime, cryptozoology, and cash. Suggested Talking Points: Give me all the sauce. Soul Patch Albinism. Andy. Doppelganger. Phantom poop and the Clown Burglar. Drink, Drive, Sext. Ninja Crime. River City…
20: The Imagined Smell
Mar 22, 2011 • 51 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids whine about bacon, huffing, and the Truman Show Delusion. Suggested Talking Points: Inspirationcast. Bacon products. Woman hit twice in same intersection. House set on fire twice in the same day. Inventors who were buried in…
19: Mr. Giggles
Mar 15, 2011 • 55 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids hesitate about spaniards, fake deaths, and laser targeted advertising. Suggested Talking Points: Today’s podcast tomorrow. Gone Hookin’. Supermoon. Sex Quiz. Sexual Tension Quiz. HPV and the Surgeon General’s Warning tattoo.…
18: Obliviontown
Mar 8, 2011 • 53 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids get real about mayonnaise disasters, teaching your kids to write backwards, and alien bacteria. Suggested Talking Points: Therapy. Good Christian Bitches. Grinch Syndrome. Appropriate deaths, e.g being extruded through a fine…
17: Too Sexy to Die
Mar 1, 2011 • 45 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids expectorate about iScream, time dilation, and poor baby Connor. Suggested Talking Points: Don’t treat our listeners like idiots. The age of consent in Idaho. iScream. Screaming in the car. I need a gavel. The point that moths…
16: Talonclaw
Feb 22, 2011 • 48 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids have a frank discussion about kinky two year-olds, falconry, and technological singularity. Suggested Talking Points: Hey Dum Dum. Kinky 2 year olds. NO MORE BATS. Flame broiled Bumfights. Thesis. Kid exchange rate. Working…
15: Episode 15: Bounty Hunter
Feb 15, 2011 • 43 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk themselves dizzy about Rookie of the Year, Cousin Oliver, and Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. Suggested Talking Points: Karaoke Cannon. Kevlar Underpants Protect Our Soldier’s Seed. The K-Mart Inside Job and Selling Kole’s…
14: Episode 14: Side-Hug
Feb 2, 2011 • 50 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids drop bombs about Facebook Envy, Christian Side-Hugs, and burial rituals.
13: Piss Dragons
Jan 25, 2011 • 48 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids get disturbingly personal about pornography, religion, and the zodiac.
12: Know the Unfeared
Jan 18, 2011 • 45 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about unfathomable terror, pregnancy pacts, and space colonization.
11: PodDogs
Jan 4, 2011 • 39 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about doing it live, education, and ska music.
10: Slip ‘n’ Slide World Champions
Dec 28, 2010 • 32 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids discuss precious metals, puberty, and the Bible.
9: Stay Tuned
Dec 14, 2010 • 29 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids discuss baby names, hobbits, and the freshest of princes.
8: The Last Christmas
Dec 7, 2010 • 40 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids discuss euphemisms, steam engines, and Gary Sinise.
7: Shark Cops
Nov 16, 2010 • 31 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids discuss innovation, genetics, and Seasonal Affective Disorder.
6: Pitch Black
Nov 9, 2010 • 35 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids discuss women’s health, energy drinks, and the evil we must be complicit in to live a modern life. This episode is possibly the darkest, most offensive thing I have personally created. May God have mercy on all of our souls.
5: 25 Minutes
Oct 26, 2010 • 26 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids discuss karate, bathroom reading, and Mickey Rooney.
4: For Science!
Oct 19, 2010 • 26 min
Wherein those damn Ross kids discuss lying for science, conspiracy theories, and milkshakes.
3: The Hate Diamond
Oct 12, 2010 • 31 min
Wherein Those Damn Ross Kids talk about anger problems.
2: David Attenborough’s Stupid Earth
Sep 28, 2010 • 32 min
Wherein Those Damn Ross Kids talk about petty rage, cheap meat, scavenger hunts, and workshop the pilot for David Attenborough’s Stupid Earth.
1: Amicable
Sep 21, 2010 • 31 min
In this first episode, we discuss our greatest fears, suggestions, and emotional pie.