Welcome To My Show

Welcome To My Show

welcometomyshow.pizza
A comedy variety show that focuses on embracing t…


50 - It’s From the Asparagus
Jun 10 • 22 min
Episode 50: It’s From the Asparagus We’re changing it up a bit for our 50th episode and beyond! New music, new segments, same old Trash Michele! Today we talk about the juiciest details of my recent string of bad dates, produce aisle inspired hairstyles,…
49 - Ice in my Veins
Jun 4 • 20 min
Welcome to Episode 49: Ice in my Veins What’s it called when you embarrass yourself by means of another person? Well, I don’t know, but I have an opinion. This week I break down my emotional journey through the great musical Rocketman and express my love…
48 - Fascinating
May 27 • 37 min
Welcome to Episode 48 - Fascinating! This week I get a little crazy and make an impromptu phone call to my psychotic stalker/scam artist from Nigeria and call him out on his threats of sexual violence towards me. FUN! Also in the topics of discussion: Ted…
47 - Urban Legends
May 21 • 30 min
This week we go exploring and learn about urban legends throughout North America including murderous rabbits, smelly yetis, axe murderers, and more! We also get a grand update on the whereabouts of my Nigerian stalker/antagonist/friend. Then I try to make…
46 - Starbucks Bullsh*t
May 13 • 33 min
In Episode 46 we find the answers to life’s toughest questions. Can vampires become sexually aroused? Does Tony Hawk exist? Will middle aged moms camp out for Starbucks’ newest gimmick? Does cheese give you nightmares? Will Michele become the next pop…
45 - Diet Cherry Vanilla Smile Lite Zero
May 7 • 32 min
It’s Mental F*ckery Awareness Month and this week is all about me telling you to smile more, but in the least degrading way possible! Ok that’s not what it’s all about. I also tell you about a crazy Nigerian scammer who’s writing a book about ME, the…
44 - Emptying the Junk Drawer
Apr 29 • 32 min
Welcome to Episode 44! This week is the perfect mix of negativity and positivity. We discuss phone calls from Mickey Mouse, popcorn snafus, good music, weird stuff I found in my junk drawer, my stupid cat, using water unsparingly, the woes of French…
43 - The Happiest Place on Earth
Apr 23 • 46 min
This week we discuss those dang dead pigs, crazy Russian experiments from the 40s, the most amazing and most deadly amusement park ever, and my plan for when time travel becomes a possibility. .:.Drinking game for this episode.:. drink every time I say…
42 - Dating Purgatory
Apr 16 • 26 min
Episode 42: This week we talk Post Office arguments, being overwhelmed, bad dates, how to reciprocate a compliment, and escaping purgatory. PLUS join me as I eat a bunch of random things from a Korean grocery store. NEW: Patreon patrons will now get…
41 - It’s 2019, Everyones Suffering
Apr 9 • 32 min
This week I spill too much information about my personal life thanks to tequila and energy drinks, soak up my sorrows in dollar store potato chips, and get emotionally and romantically inspired by the horrible people on Craigslist. What a wet and wild…
40 - Peter
Apr 2 • 46 min
This week I welcome Peter from Audible Farm Podcast to my show! I feed him mystery treats from the Garbage Kitchen and then ask if he has any allergies. We also go bobbing for Craigslist Missed Connections and discuss candy petitions, online dating, and…
39 - Picking Up Chicks at the Post Office
Mar 26 • 32 min
This week, listen as Michele delivers subpar audio in her car while driving to visit her parents and collaborate with a fellow podcaster, Peter Stockdale from Audible Farm! I discuss heroes and how they let us down, learning how to moonwalk, winning…
38 - No Means No
Mar 20 • 31 min
Welcome to Episode 38: No Means No This is a very important episode for me. I had a chance to thank all the very amazing, extremely supportive people in my life who have helped me make some important and tough decisions to better myself and my…
37 - Happy Clam, One!
Mar 12 • 24 min
Welcome to the first installment of the show-within-a-show called Happy Clam! The show all about positivity and the little things in life that bring us joy! This week I talk about finding joy in daylight savings, tiny things(and big, huge things), office…
36 - Underwear Bandit
Mar 5 • 28 min
Welcome to another bad week on Welcome To My Show, the show! Titanic tangents, underwear blunders, and infiltrated work outings. All of this and so much more awfulness! Join me you filthy babies! Suggested talking points: Sleep deprivation Titanic Dinner…
35 - Lend a Helping Handjob
Feb 26 • 22 min
This week on my bad show, we discuss getting pulled over, a very bad way to spend your February, bad bathroom behavior, a quick re-visit of Fyre Fest with a listener submission, and a not-so-sexy crime documentary. Suggested Talking Points: New recording…
34 - I don’t like anything.
Feb 19 • 31 min
Episode 34: I don’t like anything. This raw and uncut episode brought to you entirely by my laziness! This week I discuss therapy alternatives, Texperiences (‘Texas experiences’ for the uneducated listeners), my own personal haters, Valentine’s Day, and…
33 - Irresponsible Sandwich
Feb 11 • 22 min
This week I ate sandwiches irresponsibly. Don’t tell my mom or my seven year old self. You know what, don’t tell my future self either. I’m hoping to forget this soon. Pod Links iTunes: bit.ly/itunesWTMS Google: bit.ly/GoogleWTMS SoundCloud: bit.ly/scWTMS…
32 - Dollar Store Petting Zoo
Feb 5 • 44 min
Welcome to Episode 32: Dollar Store Petting Zoo! This week’s show is about, well, when have my titles ever steered you wrong? With the cold weather upon us, I decided to escape to more pleasant times of being surrounded by animals and horrible strangers…
1,000,000 - I’m a Fraud
Jan 29 • 37 min
THIS IS A GOOD ONE I WOULD NEVER LIE. This week I tell a horrible story about a very bad lie I told. Also, I deep dive into the failed Fyre Festival, and tell a few other stories that I heard through the magic of eavesdropping. Come with me on this luxury…
30 - Nobody Cares About Your Birthday
Jan 22 • 25 min
Welcome to another show! This week is all about dangerous things such as opposite day, gender reveal parties, self-inflicted amputations, and so much more! Suggested talking points: The dangers of opposite day, a PSA It’s back! Craiglist Missed…
29 - Horror D’oeuvres
Jan 15 • 27 min
This week I indulge in an old favorite pastime as I create Franken-snacks and beg for death to end the pain caused by these terrible concoctions. The less dramatic description: I draw ingredients from a hat and make icky mixtures of condiments and other…
28 - Just Another Maniac Monday
Jan 8 • 23 min
Yuck. This episode is one nasty boi. From start to finish, from A to sloppy Z, it’s an ick-fest. This pod has everything: Blood, guts, a baby, dinosaurs, and Capri Sun. Suggested Talking Points: Horrible Stories Post Office Make-Out sessions with babies…
27 - Happy Holidays or Whatever
Dec 31, 2018 • 20 min
This week I apologize to a pizza business and tell horrible stories of past holidays. Enjoy! Suggested talking points: New Years Eve Resolutions Alcohol and dying Christmas Vacation hangovers RASPBERRY BUTTER LOAF Paranormal Activity The worst party…
26 - Welcome to Denny
Dec 18, 2018 • 26 min
This week is a tornado of internet disasters and drama. Who’s child will be stolen and sold into sex slavery this week on Welcome To My Show?! Listen to find out! Suggested talking points: This week on the internet Happy Joe’s Pizza delusion [SCAMMERS]…
25 - Pleasant Surprises
Dec 11, 2018 • 37 min
Episode 25: Pleasant Surprises In this, the first quarter-quell of Welcome To My Show, we throw away the rule book and go completely rogue. An old friend/child-murderer. The expunging of teeth from skulls. My newly discovered psychic abilities. Facebook…
24 - on FOX
Dec 4, 2018 • 28 min
Presently on Welcome To My Show, Special Agent Jack Bauer has Michele hack into the mainframe of her past to handle a few unanswered questions, we revisit two long lost and beloved segments; Garbage Kitchen and Michele’s Reading Corner, and I go on a long…
23 - A Billion Little Hotdogs
Nov 27, 2018 • 28 min
Will the spirit of Prince ever find the lost rabbits? What do you get when you crossbreed a dog with a flounder? Will Michele ever go a week without being touched by an old man? Will any of these questions even be answered in this episode? There’s only…
22 - Baby’s First ASMR Thanksgiving Special
Nov 20, 2018 • 34 min
This week we play with some classics and also introduce a new segment that may go down in history as one of the best. Happy Thanksgiving, now give me all your thanks. Suggested talking points: -being thankful and dying -LEARN MY SIGNATURE COCKTAIL(s)…
21 - Run Away From Your Responsibilities
Nov 13, 2018 • 51 min
Welcome to my show, now say goodbye to everything you’ve ever known. I take you on an adventure and regale you with some of my own trials, tribulations, turmoil, and travels. Sit back, grab a big, huge bottle of wine, and go on this auditory road trip…
20 - My Mom Tried To Poison Me [NOT CLICKBAIT]
Nov 6, 2018 • 48 min
I never thought it would happen to me: reaching episode 20 and also my mom trying to poison me REAL AUDIO EVIDENCE Suggested Talking Points: - Blind taste tests - mommy dearest - Hell’s Kitchen - yea I talk about Gordon Ramsay again, I can’t stop -…
19 - Real True Scary Stories
Oct 30, 2018 • 62 min
Episode 19: Real True Scary Stories This week, my very special guest friend and I share some fun, spooky, and at times, overwhelming scary stories from our lives. Suggested talking points: -9/11 2: Another One -Bigfoot hunting -Alternative names for…
18 - Ass
Oct 23, 2018 • 40 min
This episode has everything you’re looking for; crazy children, Gordon Ramsay again, ghosts, booty, ghost booty, celebrities, and the regularly expected nihilism. Suggested talking points: -Impedecast -new episode out!…
17 - Ten Reasons Why I Hate You
Oct 15, 2018 • 24 min
It’s getting closer to the spookiest holiday of the year and I’m here help you get in the mood. We dip into the spookiest part of Craigslist, tell some spooky dating stories, I give you an update on my spooky stalker, try some spooky snacks, and have a…
16 - Bad Dudes
Oct 10, 2018 • 39 min
This week we face some real issues and I share a few personal stories and find comedy in tragedy. Then we hop over to Craigslist for a Halloween gamble of ghouls and I accidentally get drunk and the show morphs into an Impedecast spin-off as I choke to…
15 - Friends Eating Garbage
Oct 2, 2018 • 83 min
Michele and special guest Justin Comer of iHearIC share a few laughs, handful of stories, and a plateful of bugs and other gross garbage that we consume in the Garbage Kitchen. I get in a one-sided screaming match with my noisy, inconsiderate neighbors,…
14 - Let’s Talk About D*ck
Sep 25, 2018 • 35 min
This week Michele spills more tea than 1773 Boston, gives you an update on Mr. Jay, discusses the perils of her oncoming old-age, visits Craigslist, enters the Garbage Kitchen, and many more! OH YEA and dicks. 🧀Pod links SoundCloud: bit.ly/scWTMS Google:…
13 - When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Mexican Restaurant
Sep 18, 2018 • 28 min
This week is a lesson on faith and salsa but mostly salsa. I taste some more nasty yucks and a few tasty yums. PLUS I have a special surprise guest you won’t want to miss and hopefully after this episode comes out he will finally leave me alone. OH and a…
12 - How to Die Using the Internet
Sep 11, 2018 • 33 min
This episode of Welcome To My Show is dedicated to broke losers. Michele drinks wine, dives into the naughty bits of Craigslist, whines about her pathetic existence, and eats some gross stuff. It’s sort of like ASMR, but so much worse! 🧀Pod links…
11 - Should I Call This Episode Kitchen Wet Dreams or Gordon Rams Me
Sep 4, 2018 • 38 min
Welcome to my very first car-cast experience, coming to you live from the rigid roads of Iowa and promising nothing but shitty audio and even shittier entertainment. Critics have been saying “Michele’s Randy Newman impression made me stab pencils deep…
10- I’m Not Like a Regular Mom, I’m a Cool Janitor
Aug 28, 2018 • 54 min
This week on Welcome To My Show, my brother and I play an impromptu game to see how well we remember each other’s childhoods, we talk about fun memories we share, and I saved the day when I removed 40 minutes of The Office trivia because it was the most…
9- We’ll Love Fortune
Aug 21, 2018 • 44 min
After a three day sickness consumed me, I take it easy this week with some highly reputable readings of the palm, the foot, and the future. Plus some other garbage antics as usual. Follow along with this episode! Read your palm with me:…
8 - Set My Heart on Fieri
Aug 14, 2018 • 27 min
I made the decision to ask my listeners what they wanted to hear and I don’t want to talk about it. Long story short - things get sexy, wet, wild, raunchy, and disgusting with a few Food Network faves. Oh and I talk about Jimmy Buffett again. No one was…
7 - Wastin’ Away Again in Radioactive Nuclear Falloutville
Aug 7, 2018 • 60 min
This week my two special guests are the musically talented duo of pals, Justin Comer and David Clair. I forced them to play a game that I vaguely knew the rules of, half made up, and mostly just wanted an excuse to see who would deserve to survive a…
6 - XTREME botany
Jul 31, 2018 • 35 min
This week I actually, finally, give you the opportunity to learn something! Learn a few tips on plant care and see what kinds of plants we’d like to consume. Also, we play a few games, learn some new words, and metaphorically hang with Mythbusters’ Adam…
5 - Pixar Presents: Toilet Story
Jul 23, 2018 • 35 min
This is part one of a two part episode with Eli, the plant expert! In Part One we talk about everything but plants and mostly just discuss hypothetical toilet scenarios. ENJOY! 🧀Pod links https://soundcloud.com/michele-guild Google:…
4 - Let’s Get Illuminasty
Jul 15, 2018 • 44 min
This week, Michele details her interactions with the Illuminati and her process of getting into the secret society, all while trying not to fall in love. 🧀Pod links https://soundcloud.com/michele-guild Google:…
3 - Hot Cheetos in Coloreedo
Jul 8, 2018 • 30 min
This week I’m on a mountain vacation with my family. My (quite hilarious) brother and his awesome girlfriend were kind enough to join me this week while we do NOTHING ILLEGAL in Colorado and talk about cats, dead presidents, baking, and everything else…
2 - Lunar Moons and Bean Balloons
Jul 1, 2018 • 36 min
My special guest this week is Aaron, an expert in video gaming and awkward social situations. Listen as I force feed him tequila shots and we play some games I made up. 🧀Pod links https://soundcloud.com/michele-guild Google:…
1 - Vacations and Vaccinations
Jun 26, 2018 • 33 min
In episode one of the show, our very first guest is my mom! She is an expert at momming and we have a few laughs as we talk about mom issues, annoying Facebook groups, sad cabbage meals, and how not to rid your cat of fleas. Enjoy! Or don’t, I do not…